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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298934">Antagonist</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeishope/pseuds/Hopeishope'>Hopeishope</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SF9 (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Blood, Child Abuse, Death, Depression, Drugs, Explicit Language, Gangs, Guns, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marriage, Murder, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:42:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>342,359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeishope/pseuds/Hopeishope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Let's play two truths and one lie... In this story, Jaeyoon is the hero, Dawon is the villain, and Inseong is the unfortunate boy stuck in the middle.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Inseong/Lee Jaeyoon, Kim Inseong/Lee Sanghyuk | Dawon, Kim Youngkyun | Hwiyoung/Yoo Taeyang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>175</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Hero and the Villain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello!! Please, please, PLEASE read check the tags before reading! I swear this is not just 37 chapters of the most depressing shit I have ever written, and I'm really proud of this one, so if you are iffy because you think it'll just be all depressing, it's not... NOT depressing but it's lighthearted too! Give it a chance if you're unsure &lt;3 Thank you for reading! I will post every Tuesday AND Friday!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed as he placed his elbow on the sill of the car window to prop up his head. He closed his eyes, resting into the position with nothing but slight annoyance at the amount of traffic clogging up the streets. He had places to be, and all these people were getting in his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rough day at work?” the cab driver asked from the front seat. Sanghyuk understood it was a harmless and friendly gesture as they sat and waited at a red light, but Sanghyuk couldn’t care less to make meaningless conversation. He lifted his left hand, creating a simple waving motion to give a signal that he wasn’t in the mood. The driver took the hint immediately, and Sanghyuk was at least thankful for that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt an oncoming headache forming behind his eyes, which only added to how pissed off he was. He was used to the headaches, however, and would just swallow a few advil as soon as he could get his hands on it. That was how he spent half of his life, after all, just suffocating headaches and migraines in chemical solutions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And as if he wasn’t bothered enough, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. Of course he never kept the ringer on, what kind of fool would he be if he did? He reached begrudgingly into his pocket, also annoyed that he had to shift his position to retrieve his phone. Sanghyuk barely glanced at the caller ID before accepting the call.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, you’ve reached the wrong number,” Sanghyuk droned on in the characteristic voice of an automated message. “Call back when you have something to entertain me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut the bullshit,” Chanhee responded with a laugh into the phone, causing the corner of Sanghyuk’s lips to lift into a smile. “Hey, are you coming or what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, are you waiting for me?” Sanghyuk asked, lifting his head to merely glance at the watch on his wrist, which had been previously occupied holding his head up. It was ten minutes past four in the afternoon, so he wasn’t terribly late. The event didn’t start until four thirty anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> waiting for you,” Chanhee told him. Sanghyuk could hear crowds of busy people around him through the fuzz of the phone call. Of course he knew the place would be packed with people, but he really hated dealing with huge crowds. It would just make his headache worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go get settled then,” Sanghyuk encouraged, propping his head back on his hand. “I’ll be there soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I go in without you it will be impossible for you to find me after. Do you have any idea how big the crowd here is?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, knowing Chanhee couldn’t actually see him. “I mean, people are coming from all over the district, and even from outside of Seoul. No shit it’s packed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and the longer you take to get here, the farther back we are,” Chanhee pointed out, clearly a tad bit agitated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t need front row seats,” Sanghyuk reminded him, lifting his eyes to see through the window. The traffic was obviously taking forever because of the huge event going on nearby, which was no surprise. In all honesty, Sanghyuk should have left earlier. “You know what? I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sanghyuk decided, hanging up without warning and stuffing his phone in his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned forward over the passenger seat easily, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a few bills as a tip. He reached his arm over the passenger seat and dropped the folded bills onto it with no regard to where the change went after he dropped it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the lift. I’ll get out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir, but we aren’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t wait. He barely looked for traffic before popping his door open. He leaned back with one arm, hooking his fingers over the edge of his skateboard and pulling it out with him. He slammed the door shut behind him, ignoring the honks of the cars around him as he strolled across the street with no regard for his own safety. He smiled to himself, jumping up on the curb as cars resumed their irritatingly slow drive behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dropped the skateboard on the ground easily, stepping up on it and finding his balance quickly, pushing off. His tongue stuck out between his teeth as he let the wind fly through his hair, kicking against the ground every few seconds to keep up his speed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” Sanghyuk spoke loudly, barely caring to stop as he rode through crowds of people. He shifted his balance to move around a few groups of them, but naturally most of them moved out of his way first. “Out of the way,” Sanghyuk continued, kicking against the ground again to move through a crowd waiting to cross the street. His skateboard slid onto the road just as the crosswalk light turned white to allow him to cross, but he was already halfway across the road, simply gliding right back onto the sidewalk and kicking off again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone vibrated in his pocket again, and Sanghyuk just rolled his eyes, pulling it out and holding it up to his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s up? It’s been like three minutes. Do you miss me that much?” Sanghyuk joked, shifting his eyes around the area quickly before shifting his weight to the left and making a smooth turn with the curve of the sidewalk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just thought you’d like to know I found his private driver,” Chanhee mentioned with a hint of carelessness. “But I guess not…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already know who Jaeyoon’s private driver is,” Sanghyuk reminded him with a snort of laughter, kicking off the ground again to get through a crowd of people. “The flashy Bentley Continental GT with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span> black shine to it, right? Not that hard to spot, Chanhee,” Sanghyuk rambled, cringing at even the mental image of the car. It was the fanciest, most rich looking car Sanghyuk could ever imagine. It was almost gross how flashy it was, and yet Jaeyoon rode around in it like it wasn’t a gift from only the most rich and stuck up ambassadors and chairmen in the country. “Hey, how come I never get gifts like that?” Sanghyuk asked with a slightly offended tone to his voice, already knowing the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In case you’ve forgotten, you are the most despised person in the district,” Chanhee told him with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh right,” Sanghyuk replied with a smile, as if he had forgotten. “Excuse me, coming through,” Sanghyuk said again, easily maneuvering around a small grouping of people. “Hey, Chanhee, should I shortcut through the small park? I’m almost there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you seriously skateboarding here?” Chanhee asked, unamused. “I thought you were taking a taxi?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was, as in I’m not anymore,” Sanghyuk told him, taking the turn into the park anyways. Of course the event was being held in the most beautiful area of Seoul just to show off the aesthetics of the city even more. The park was still crowded with people trying to make their way towards the event, but Sanghyuk pushed through them easily. It was much smoother gliding across paved parkway paths than choppy sidewalk panels. “Excuse me, sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How typical of you,” Chanhee commented, and Sanghyuk could feel the roll of his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea what you mean,” Sanghyuk lied with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know exactly what I mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what? That Jaeyoon shows up to the event, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> event, I might add, in, let me guess, a custom made and pressed suit riding his Bentley Continental GT gift while I’m showing up in a cheap suit a size too big that I got this morning, riding nothing fancier than a skateboard with more scars on it than me? Is that what you mean?” Sanghyuk finished, barely containing his laugh anymore. It was so typical of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Could he have at least attempted to look more elegant and publicly presentable? Of course. But that just wasn’t his style. Taxis annoyed him, and personally he would choose the wind blowing through his hair over a stuffy car that belonged to someone else any day of the week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, sorry, excuse me,” he said with an apologetic smile as he rode through another crowd of people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And- hey, you sidetracked me,” Chanhee cut in. “I didn’t mean I found </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> private driver. Jaeyoon is meeting with Xang after, remember? Or, at least, he’s supposed to. They have separate drivers today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh shit, I forgot about that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The car is parked closer to the stage where he and Jaeyoon will be, which is why it’s a problem that you’re so late,” Chanhee dissed, and Sanghyuk just rolled his eyes in response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear I’m almost there- excuse me!” he called out, mid talking to Chanhee, as he almost ran right into somebody. “Okay, okay, I’m almost out of the park, give me a break,” Sanghyuk mumbled into the phone, kicking against the ground as hard as he could to get some good speed into the area that had already begun to crowd with people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People swarmed the area, children sitting on their shoulders and lover’s hands in their own. They packed into a crowded area just to be in the same vicinity as Jaeyoon, pushing and shoving their way in as close as they could get.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Chanhee!” Sanghyuk called out, ending the call on his phone and waving his hand up in the air as he skated toward the boy. He was the only person not pushing his way into the crowd, so it was easy to pick him apart from everybody.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re so late,” Chanhee told him, grabbing his wrist and barely giving him a moment to pick up his skateboard before hurriedly dragging him into the crowd. Sanghyuk ran after him, not really having much of a choice as he was dragged in between small groups of people. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Slow down!” Sanghyuk called to him, but Chanhee either didn’t hear him or chose to ignore him completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt bad for how many people he was running into, almost tripping over his own feet every three seconds because he had no idea where Chanhee was taking him until he was already pulling him in a different direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this spot good?” Chanhee asked, planting his feet into the ground and causing Sanghyuk to run into him, almost pushing both of them over. Sanghyuk glared at the boy in front of him as he moved his hand to rub at his head, which was throbbing even more now than it was before. “Bro, watch where you’re going.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll disown you,” Sanghyuk threatened. Chanhee just shrugged, reaching around and digging the tip of his finger into Sanghyuk’s back to force him to stand up straight. He shifted his eyes to glare at Chanhee again with a shiver, but the boy wasn’t even paying attention. He was looking ahead at the stage, which, honestly, Sanghyuk could barely even see. He could, however, see the old men walking out from the sides. That meant the event was starting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk furrowed his brows, lifting his wrist to look at his watch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are they starting early? There’s still ten minutes left,” Sanghyuk pointed out, having to yell over the people screaming around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee leaned over and grabbed his wrist, staring intensely at the watch for only a few seconds before tossing his arm away. “You’re watch is ten minutes slow,” Chanhee deducted. Sanghyuk pouted, lifting his hand to his wrist to fix it. He hadn’t realized he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> late. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladies and gentlemen!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes as the announcer’s voice started booming through the microphone, still trying to concentrate on fixing his watch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, please, settle down! Today we have-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really hoped this whole affair would be over relatively quickly because he honestly wasn’t in the mood to pull off a heist right now. He just wanted to down some advil and leave the crowded area for the comfort of his own apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god!” a girl next to him yelled, waving her hands up and screaming like a banshee. Sanghyuk almost leaned away from her with a look of disgust, but he didn’t get a chance to before she looked over at him and grabbed his arm, shaking it with excitement. “Can you believe it?! We’re really going to see Jaeyoon!!!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heh, yeah,” Sanghyuk said lamely in response with pulled back lips, quickly moving his free hand over to hers to push her off of him. She didn’t even seem to notice, so before she could turn and look over at him again, Sanghyuk grabbed Chanhee’s hand and pulled him deeper into the crowd. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladies and gentlemen! Lee Jaeyoon!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really felt like his head was going to explode at the sheer volume of screams and cries that echoed out as Jaeyoon came walking out on the stage. It wasn’t even a real stage, it was just a stepping platform that they pretended was some grand location. Sanghyuk had stood there before, so had a million other people. It wasn’t special. He rolled his eyes and clapped just to fit in with the crowd. Chanhee did the same, already clapping his hands together with a mild look of peaked interest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello!” Jaeyoon called out with a teeth exposing smile, causing the crowd of people to go even more insane. Sanghyuk thought his ears might actually start bleeding soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, there were probably a million different ways to describe Jaeyoon, and every single one of them was different. Personally, Sanghyuk felt his description held slightly more truth and validation than all of the others, but he was never one for thinking those other descriptions didn’t matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The religious fanatics called him the new Jesus, or in some other variations, the reincarnation of. They were the type to claim he could walk on water, although Sanghyuk was absolutely positive he could not. He apparently “spoke for the people” as if nobody else but him and Jesus alone had ever done that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fangirls called him a legend, or in some other weird way, an idol. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure if the actual idols would take that as a compliment or not, but he certainly wasn’t a bad image to be related to. They cheered for him and followed him with cameras to show the world. Sanghyuk was sure they focused on his beauty a little too much; he wouldn’t deny that Jaeyoon did have a certain allure to him, but the way they obsessed over it disgusted him. The amount of thirst tweets he had accidentally stumbled upon made him internally gag. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyday people called him someone to look up to. They wanted their kids to be like him. TV shows used him as an example for everything good in a person. Rehab centers framed him to encourage those who felt lost. They all set him on a platform above everybody else, like he would never be reached by those who wished to touch him. And yet, he was still advertised to kids as someone who they could be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Newspapers called him a hero. The Hero. In fact, everybody did. It was his nickname: “Jaeyoon the hero.” And of course, why wouldn’t they see him as a hero? That was his role in society. It paid his bills and kept him famous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But again, Sanghyuk would always argue his description held more truth to it than any other ever could. To him, Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a hero, but not in the same sense. Jaeyoon was a hero in the way that it was nothing more than his title. If Sanghyuk had to give him a title, he wouldn’t hesitate to call him a rat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon was perfect in the most disgusting way. He held his head high to anyone who approached and spoke with a mighty voice filled with vanity and appreciation for himself. He fought like every move was a planned routine and he walked like he was floating. His makeup was always pristine and his voice was always filled with honey. It was disgusting how perfect he made himself seem, and how effortless it was for him to keep that up. He never broke. He never cried. He never panicked. He was barely even real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sanghyuk despised him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello! Thank you, oh my god, thank you so much for- WOW there are so many people here,” Jaeyoon spoke with a bounce of shocked happiness, eyes glowing as he stared out into the crowd of people who were there just for him. “I didn’t expect that, wow. Okay, uhm, hello! I’m Jaeyoon! It’s nice to see everyone, and I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> because I can’t get over it, there are really so many people here,” he continued on with a laugh, running his hand through his hair. Jaeyoon looked out into the crowd like he was memorizing each and every face that smiled back at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started talking about how much everyone meant to him, and how much he cared for the safety of the city, but Sanghyuk couldn’t care to listen in that much. Seeing Jaeyoon always put him in some sort of sour mood. It wasn’t sour like he was jealous, because if Sanghyuk ever had to deal with this many people on a normal basis he would probably break down every night and fall apart at the seams. That was one thing he gave Jaeyoon credit for, the ability to deal with so many people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, Sanghyuk wasn’t particularly fond of the black haired boy, but he gave him credit for some things. He gave him credit for his charismatic qualities, because that was something Sanghyuk never had. He gave him credit for his cunningness and how smart he was, though Sanghyuk could match him in that sense. He gave him credit for the way he held himself, because he never screwed up. Ever. Every celebrity screws up at one point of another, but not Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon had everyone in the palm of his hand and he never let his image fail. That, in Sanghyuk’s mind, was actually incredible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Jaeyoon for those touching words!” the announcer spoke. Sanghyuk had missed it all, but he was sure the speech would be on reply on every news station for the next week, not that he cared to watch anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Chanhee, when are they bringing him out?” Sanghyuk asked, leaning over to get closer to him so he wouldn’t have to be so loud. “He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> here, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well his car is here, so yeah, he should be coming out. Jaeyoon even announced it,” Chanhee reasoned, and that was enough for Sanghyuk to nod, reaching into the side pocket of Chanhee’s backpack to grab a stick of gum so he could have something else to focus on besides Jaeyoon and his unnecessarily large fanbase.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a simple event. Jaeyoon was getting a statue in his name; it was supposed to be a depiction of him for “saving” everyone. That, Sanghyuk thought, was a load of shit. He wasn’t Iron Man or The Incredibles; he didn’t save Seoul from sudden death and nuclear bombs and people-killing weapons. He was just a human with too much money and power.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They unveiled the statue relatively quickly, which Sanghyuk was thankful for. He didn’t pay attention through most of the ceremony, because honestly that wasn’t what he was here for. He was here for something else, no, someone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m definitely not the only hero, let’s be honest,” Jaeyoon started, bringing Sanghyuk’s attention back from space. “I am who I am because of so many people, and a lot of those people are here with me today, and I want to thank them all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Again, Sanghyuk blurred through the first few names. Politician, political leader, important person, blah, blah, blah. He didn’t care about them. They were just placeholders so Jaeyoon could pretend to be humble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next, I’d like to thank Yoo Taeyang and Kim Youngkyun, CEOs of Xang, for always supporting me publicly and helping me through the tough times,” Jaeyoon spoke, gesturing to his side as a very composed Taeyang walked out onto the stage, Youngkyun on his arm with a bright smile. Taeyang’s black hair was styled back for a clean and professional look that complimented his features. It was strange to see Youngkyun look even half as professional as he looked now, which was a bit off putting, but he held himself well next to Taeyang. Chanhee and him actually clapped for them, despite the situation and Sanghyuk’s sour mood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d also like to thank my supporter, Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anonymous. What a joke. Anonymous wasn’t just Jaeyoon’s supporter, he was practically the reason he was who he was. Anonymous funded him and everyone knew it. Anonymous manipulated media surrounding fights, and everyone knew it. Anonymous supplied Jaeyoon and gave him access to everything he needed, and everyone knew it. The one thing nobody knew, not even Sanghyuk, was who he was. The only person who knew was Jaeyoon, and that kind of pissed Sanghyuk off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And, uhm, lastly I’d like to thank someone very special to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his dry lips and lifted his head, waiting for the moment he would call out his name. He even stretched his neck to see over the shoulders of the people in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s helped me through a lot and he’s been there for me. This is the first time he’s ever been with me at an event like this since the news came out, but, uhm, I’d like to thank my boyfriend: Kim Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was who they were waiting for. Kim Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, Kim Inseong wasn’t just the next in a line of significant others for the one and only Lee Jaeyoon. Inseong was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> significant other Jaeyoon had ever had. He had never dated before, never shown interest in anyone, and never implied anything. Until news came out a few weeks ago that, apparently, Jaeyoon had a secret boyfriend. And well, of course, Sanghyuk would have to be stupid not to take advantage of that opportunity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy was tall, very tall, and Sanghyuk actually had to blink when he watched Inseong walk up nervously to stand by Jaeyoon’s side. He looked smaller in the still pictures on the news, but Sanghyuk thought it was amusing how small the boy tried to make himself seem. He didn’t walk with confidence like every other person did, way past being used to events like this. Inseong walked like he wanted to disappear, and that was more amusing than anything. His eyes flickered to the crowd for only a second before dropping to his feet as he walked just to ensure he didn’t trip and embarrass himself. His lips held a sad attempt at a smile through the obvious stress he was feeling, and his fingers clasped together to keep his hands still as he walked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was unimpressed. This was Jaeyoon’s boyfriend? This scared little boy was all he had to play with? Inseong looked like nothing more than a kid forced to be somewhere he didn’t want to be. Kidnapping him would be almost too easy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s go,” Sanghyuk ushered, nudging Chanhee and beginning to dig a path through the crowd. He weaved his way in and out of people, bumping into almost every single one of them and earning himself a few disgusted glares. The whole process made him feel dizzy, his head pounding even more than before. Could people not just move out of his way? Did they have to push against him so harshly and scream in his ear like they were trying to permanently damage his eardrums? His head banged at the noise and constant motion, and he almost stopped walking when Chanhee passed him, guiding him with a light touch of his fingers on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded to clear his head, not that it worked, but he knew he had to keep following Chanhee. He just kept his eyes straight as they passed through the people, ignoring them as much as he could, which wasn’t much. But he was trying and that’s what counted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Almost there,” Chanhee mumbled to him, just loud enough for him to hear. He kept guiding him forward until they made it to a thinned section of the crowd where people just gathered in light groups. Sanghyuk started picking up his steps, moving around them and following Chanhee swiftly around the corner to the alley.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gimme,” Sanghyuk said, holding out his hand. Chanhee pulled his backpack off of his shoulders as they walked, pulling out a black cloth face mask and a simple white piece of plastic. Sanghyuk took them both from his hands quickly, hooking the straps of the black mask over his ears and adjusting it to fit his face comfortably. Then, he turned his head in all directions to watch for lingering eyes before lifting the white piece up to his face. When he turned around to face Chanhee again the boy was already holding a white cloth in his hands, drenching it in the liquid he had pulled from the backpack before handing it off to Sanghyuk without taking a breath. He took with without hesitation, spinning on his heels to turn around the corner</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was simple. The driver, poor soul, didn’t even see Sanghyuk coming. He saw his body, obviously, and opened the door to get out and most likely tell him to beat it, but he didn’t really get the chance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The expression on his face when he recognized the mask Sanghyuk wore was worth it though. Sanghyuk moved up to him swiftly, holding the cloth out and grabbing the man by his shoulder while he tried to speak or call out for help. It was just too easy. Sanghyuk pushed him harshly against the wall, pinning him and pressing the cloth against his mouth. He dropped like a fly, eyes drooping closed and muscles losing all their tension.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Down,” Sanghyuk called, doing a quick sweep before pulling the mask off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee came from around the corner, Sanghyuk giving him his usual cocky half smile at the boy before haphazardly tossing him the mask. Chanhee caught it easily with one hand, stuffing it back in the bag while Sanghyuk walked around to the now unconscious driver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There were about a million better ways to do that,” Chanhee informed him in a low voice as he grabbed the driver’s ankles, dragging him further off down the alley out of the way of the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but all the other ways would have required extra effort,” Sanghyuk pointed out with a simple shrug, gesturing with a single finger from Chanhee’s backpack to the driver.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes, moving over to the driver and pulling out a small plastic circle from the front pocket of his backpack. The circle was white in color; it was a clean, pressed white, not filthy with shades of grey. Across the middle of the circle was a big loop in the shape of a deformed U, but with the edges of the lines traveling off the left side and curving slightly inwards. It was drawn on with black ink and it wasn’t exactly neat, but Sanghyuk didn’t need it to be. And lastly, there was another black line of ink crossing the two lines of the U. The line went somewhat through the middle of the whole circle, but strayed slightly more to the left side. If you knew what you were looking at, you would see it created the letter ‘D’ but in a fancier and edgier way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee made his way over to the driver, holding the circle carefully in his hands, which were covered by the fabric of his sleeves. He crouched down in routine, putting in no more care than to just shove the circle in the pocket of the man’s jacket pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While he did that, Sanghyuk made sure to inspect the car. It was kind of a let down compared to what Sanghyuk would have expected. Sure, it was still a flashy car that screamed private driver and famous passenger, but it wasn’t a Bentley Continental GT. He would have figured Jaeyoon was pulling out everything he could for his new and only boyfriend, but he was clearly wrong. Poor Inseong. He just hoped the boy wasn’t with Jaeyoon for the money, because if so, he would probably be let down in the near future</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there a problem with the car?” Chanhee asked. Sanghyuk spun around to find him merely watching him, an unamused expression on his face and arms hanging by his sides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would there be a problem with the car?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you’re looking into it like you’re trying to crack the code to Korea’s nuclear missiles instead of putting on your gloves and cleaning yourself up. Come on, you look like you just rolled out of bed,” Chanhee spoke, reaching into the bag to pull out a pair of neatly folded, black, leather gloves. He tossed them, leaving Sanghyuk to struggle to catch both of them as they came apart in the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no interest in nuclear codes. They’re boring,” Sanghyuk droned with a roll of his eyes as he pulled the gloves over his hands. “This car on the other hand? It tells a </span>
  <em>
    <span>story</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hear me out,” Sanghyuk began, using the most dramatic voice he could conjure up. He moved over to the car to gesture to it, as if Chanhee couldn’t already see it. “What kind of car is this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A 2019 Hyundai Sonata?” Chanhee asked, only phrasing it as a question because he clearly had no idea what Sanghyuk was getting it. There was no doubt he knew what type of car it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this gonna take all day or…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon has a luxury Bentley Continental GT, the most luxurious car in probably all of South Korea right now,” Sanghyuk explained, gesturing to the car again. “And yet… for the love of his life, for his one and only boyfriend, he has a mere 2019 Hyundai Sonata.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is still a luxury car, Hyuk,” Chanhee reminded him, reaching into his backpack to pull out a set of gloves for himself. “It’s also a 2019 release. It’s new, and it’s one of Hyundai’s best cars. What do you mean ‘a mere 2019 Hyundai Sonata’? Have you lost your mind?” He walked up to the car, sliding his gloved fingers across the sleek white paint, admiring it. “I would kill for this car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah, well it’s not a Bentley Continental GT.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a car, Sanghyuk, get over it,” Chanhee told him with a roll of his eyes. “And fix your suit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t fit me!” Sanghyuk whined, dropping his arms and pouting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then you should have gotten one that fit you,” Chanhee sassed, pulling open the door to the car and situating himself in the driver’s seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have plenty that fit me, I just didn’t want to get other people’s germs all over them,” Sanghyuk argued with a disgusted look on his face. Chanhee merely rolled his eyes, pulling a small black box out of his backpack that could easily sit in his hand. He opened it, pulling out a small chip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and because of that, you now look more like Dawon impersonating a private driver than an actual private driver,” Chanhee finally responded, clipping the chip onto the car as close as he could get it to the navigation system.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait are you fucking with the GPS?” Sanghyuk asked, walking up to the open door and tilting his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee raised his eyebrow without looking away from his work. “Yeah? Do you want the government to be able to trace the car?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if I don’t know where I’m going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We do this </span>
  <em>
    <span>every single time</span>
  </em>
  <span> we steal a car, you know you have to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it. You drive,” Sanghyuk decided, holding his hands up in the air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me? Drive? No thanks,” Chanhee responded immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you know the directions and I don’t, so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Easy solution: I’ll stay on the phone with you,” Chanhee concluded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My head hurts,” Sanghyuk attempted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your head always hurts,” Chanhee responded without hesitation, crawling out of the driver’s seat and handing Sanghyuk the keys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how to drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have your license!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many bad excuses are you going to come up with </span>
  <em>
    <span>this time</span>
  </em>
  <span> to try and back out of your own plan?!” Chanhee asked, exasperated. He still held out the keys toward Sanghyuk, he just refused to take them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to,” Sanghyuk said with a pout. “It doesn’t make sense anyways!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your own plan… doesn’t make sense?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly!” Sanghyuk replied, pointing at the boy like he had made some sort of revelation. “I mean, how can I drive? It’s not like I can hold the door open for him wearing my mask and he’ll just say ‘oh nice to see you Dawon’ and step right in!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which is why you’ll be wearing a regular face mask and glasses instead—I swear to god Sanghyuk, we literally went over this earlier today!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but earlier today I didn’t have a headache,” Sanghyuk argued in a quiet voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> have a headache,” Chanhee pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s watch started beeping before Sanghyuk could finish even thinking of something to reply with, causing them both to freeze in their spots. Their eyes met.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk get in the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me my mask!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need the whole backpack!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then give me the whole backpack!” Sanghyuk yelled in a hushed whisper, grabbing the backpack from him and hastily ripping open the main zipper to find the mask and glasses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call me for directions when you get on the-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have the whole city of Seoul memorized I don’t need fucking directions,” Sanghyuk reminded him in a stressed manner, pulling the mask out and quickly hooking it over his ears. He grabbed the glasses too before tossing the whole backpack into the passenger seat without regard for anything in it. He looked up. “Are you going to leave or what?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay!” Chanhee agreed, turning on his heel and quickly dashing out of the alley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded to himself, re-tucking his shirt into his waistline and smoothing out the wrinkles that had formed in his jacket. He had to at least attempt to make the suit look presentable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he waited. He stood still, back straight, not daring to turn his head in search of the boy. He folded his hands in front of him the way he had seen professional men do before, and he waited.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hated waiting. Sanghyuk hated staying still for any amount of time, never mind with a pounding headache. He wanted to itch his ear and his nose, and also his hairline, and his neck was feeling a bit- nope. The more he thought about it, the more it would itch. He wouldn’t think about it. He wouldn’t think about how much he just wanted to move his hands for only a fraction of a second so he could scratch at the annoying-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello Mr. Jung,” a voice greeted, and Sanghyuk moved his head to see Inseong. Wow, he was tall. He wasn’t towering over Sanghyuk, but he was still taller than him in an unsettling way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cleared his mind quickly, not voicing a greeting and instead bowing before pulling open the door to the back seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes glazed over the complicated fixture of a mask and glasses on his face, his eyebrows contorting in slight confusion before he slid into the back seat. Sanghyuk shut the door behind him and opened his own door, sliding inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you watch the whole event from way back here? Or did you stay in the alley?” Inseong asked, and from the rear view mirror Sanghyuk could see he was uncuffing the wrists of his suits. He seemed agitated. Sanghyuk could at least relate to that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk almost tried to think of a response, but remembered he wasn’t supposed to speak. Dawon didn’t speak. And he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk</span>
  </em>
  <span> right now. He was Dawon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved his arms over to the passenger seat to find everything he needed, sorting it all out so he could find it easily and make the most dramatic scene possible. It was the small bit of fun he got in everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh… Mr. Jung?” Inseong asked, and Sanghyuk could tell he stopped moving. He was frozen in the back seat, clearly confused. “Is everything okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed the small clear tube from the backpack, pulling it over to the driver’s seat and sticking it under his mask, placing the airway tube in between his lips like a straw. He reached back into the backpack as he turned the nozzle with one hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… what’s that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Sanghyuk pulled out his other mask. He brought it into his lap, not letting Inseong see it. With his head down, he pulled the glasses off and tossed them to the floor of the passenger seat. He didn’t waste a second before sliding the mask over his face, securing the black band around the back of his head. He made sure the tube was still stuck between his lips before moving his hand over and locking all the doors, which he, admittedly, should have done first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Jung what are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned around and Inseong’s face froze. To be honest though, Sanghyuk was a bit underwhelmed. Usually, when he turned around to face people with his mask on, the hairs on the back of their necks stood up and their eyes went wide. Some people jumped, others screamed, a few even fainted. But… not Inseong. Inseong’s reaction was just… boring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t jump back in his seat, or lean away from him. Inseong’s eyes just went a bit wide with surprise. His mouth didn’t open, he didn’t flinch, and overall, he didn’t even seem that scared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sat like that for a good 20 seconds, at least, before Sanghyuk got tired of the lack of reaction. He sighed, rolling his eyes even though Inseong couldn’t see it, before reaching into the backpack, grabbing the chemical spray, and clipping the handle down to release an endless spray of unconsciousness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong did back away from the chemicals, which Sanghyuk could at least be proud of. But he didn’t try to open his door, get out, punch the windows, or incapacitate Sanghyuk. He just kind of sat there until his eyes drooped and he fainted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes again, starting the car and opening the windows to let out the extra chemicals as he breathed fine through the tube sticking out of his mouth. The oxygen tasted weird when it was coming from a small can, but at least he hadn’t managed to knock himself out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled out his phone quickly, texting Chanhee to come get him so he wouldn’t have to drive. The car ran, but that was the only noise surrounding them as they waited. It was irritating. What was the deal with Inseong? Did Jaeyoon start dating someone who had no sense of danger just to fuck with him? How did he even rope Inseong into it? The boy clearly hated being in the spotlight so he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Jaeyoon convinced him to go public. He wasn’t materialistic, which was obvious by the car, at least to him. For God’s sake, the boy worked at a cafe. He definitely wasn’t materialistic. What was his deal?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are a pain in my ass,” Sanghyuk mumbled to the unconscious boy in the back seat as he leaned back in his seat, waiting. “I mean, I go through all this effort to kidnap you, just so you can—what, stare at me?” Sanghyuk rolled his eyes with a sigh of frustration. “You are the definition of underwhelming. Thanks for making me go through all the extra effort for nothing. Asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee came around the corner quickly, giving Sanghyuk the most unamused look ever before switching seats with him silently, taking the keys and pulling the car out of the alley. The drive was also just as silent, leaving Sanghyuk with nothing to do but glare at Inseong through the side mirror and think. He was the first one to leave the car when they finally pulled up to the abandoned library, Chanhee shutting the car off only after Sanghyuk had already ditched it in annoyance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The abandoned library was a favorite of Sanghyuk’s. He liked to do a lot of work in the building, although he had never gone public with this location. Well, everything in its own time. He was getting bored of it now anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The building was old and worn down, but still new enough to have a second floor. It was on the outskirts of Seoul, so it matched the height of a lot of the buildings around it. It was dusty with missing windows in almost every place a window belonged. Broken glass called the floor its home and cobwebs claimed the corners while dusty old books that nobody cared about anymore sat on broken shelves. To be honest, there were more books that had fallen on the floor due to broken shelves than books sitting neatly on the few shelves that were still left in tact. But it was open and spacious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there a problem?” Chanhee asked, obviously not giving a thought to Inseong who was unconscious in the back seat as he walked in to follow Sanghyuk, keys swinging around his index finger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The problem is this boy pisses me off. Do you want to know what his reaction was?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna guess lame?” Chanhee asked, unamused and used to Sanghyuk’s ability to be easily ticked off at simple and unimportant things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t even try to open the door and escape!” Sanghyuk yelled, throwing his hands up in the air before moving them to his mask and ripping it off, dropping it to the ground like it wasn’t half of his identity. “Who does he think he is? I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’m Seoul’s famous bad guy, I’m the villain of South Korea. Who is he compared to me? Huh?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The famous boyfriend of the hero of South Korea,” Chanhee reminded him calmly, leaning his back against the wall by the door. “Maybe he just knew it was coming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He still could have at least had a sense of self preservation!” Sanghyuk reasoned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it was shock. That’s a thing, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know what shock is, Chanhee, I’m not brain dead,” Sanghyuk chastised, flexing his fingers out just to release the pent up frustration. “That wasn’t shock, though, it was just plain boredom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna throw a fit or are you gonna bring him inside?” Chanhee asked, ignoring him. That was probably the smart thing to do. Chanhee had to deal with him almost every week like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, fine, I’m cool,” Sanghyuk decided, reaching down to pick up his white mask before pulling it over his face. He made his way out to the car quickly to get Inseong, deciding he wouldn’t be frustrated with him anymore. He wouldn’t let it get to him. He just wouldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, stop fidgeting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me what to fucking do,” Sanghyuk mumbled in response, barely even blinking at the boy’s voice. His eyes were locked on the floor below him and he didn’t want to lose focus for even a second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The more you fidget the more- Sanghyuk, for the love of God.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee stepped down from the small metal platform he stood on to kneel down by Sanghyuk, flicking him on the side of the head. Sanghyuk tore his eyes away from Inseong to glare at Chanhee, who threatened to flick him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow,” Sanghyuk said, offended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are the living, breathing epitome of a disaster,” Chanhee told him simply, pushing himself to his feet and returning to his spot. “The paint in your hair is fading,” he added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘The paint in your hair is fading,’” Sanghyuk mocked, grabbing onto the metal handle bars in front of him to pull himself to his feet. He forced himself over to the mirror on the side of the wall, pouting at his hair. His hair was so dark, and good white hair paint was so hard to come across. The small streak of white he had added to his natural look faded out of offense to his existence. It was just impossible to keep it there without applying more white hair paint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why couldn’t we have just added a hat into the look?” Sanghyuk asked, grabbing the small container of white paint he already had out and a paint brush. “I mean, the streak in the hair is nice and everything, but a hat is more practical.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is a hat more practical?” Chanhee asked. Sanghyuk could see him in the background of the mirror, watching him with furrowed brows, as was the usual look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stuck his tongue slightly between his teeth as he dipped the brush in the white paint, carefully stroking it into his hair over the fading streak. “Because painting my hair takes time. Putting on a hat is easy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Usually you just dip your fingers in the paint and put it on lazily like that, so don’t use the excuse that it takes too long just because you want to get dressed up for Jaeyoon’s boyfriend,” Chanhee argued, turning his full body now as Sanghyuk turned around to face him as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but then I have paint on my fingers and it gets in my gloves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll buy cheap gloves so you can stand to ruin a few pairs, then,” Chanhee decided, unimpressed. “Also, how would a hat </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> be more practical? It would fall off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Simple solution,” Sanghyuk started with a shrug, pushing the container of paint to the side and turning on the tap water to wash off the excess on his hands. “You know those strings they use to hold party hats on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god you can’t be serious,” Chanhee groaned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I am,” Sanghyuk decided, pulling his hands away from the water to flick his fingers at Chanhee, who merely closed his eyes and accepted the childish act. “Time for Dawon to get a new look!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon’s look is fine as it is,” Chanhee argued, grabbing a towel from his table to wipe the water from his face. “It’s well known and simple.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A fedora would make it better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> wearing a fedora to commit crimes,” Chanhee responded with a stifled laugh, causing Sanghyuk to smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, a fedora would look pretty cool.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Sanghyuk would never actually change the costume design. His mask was perfect the way it was, and though the process of painting his hair was annoying, it made him look cool. He just liked to play with Chanhee, and it was a great part of his personality to tangent on trivial ideas that had no real consequence or meaning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When are we getting you a mask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes. “Dawon doesn’t have a sidekick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone has a sidekick to help them,” Sanghyuk said with a shrug. “Just because you don’t go in the public eye doesn’t mean Jaeyoon doesn’t see you. I just feel like a plain black airport mask isn’t really a monument to the credit you deserve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseongs awake,” Chanhee mumbled, causing Sanghyuk to spin around with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me the mask,” Sanghyuk whispered, more like mouthing the words than actually speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have your mask!” Chanhee hissed under his breath, glaring at Sanghyuk. Yeah… it wouldn’t be the first time he forgot where he had put his mask. “Dawon…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll find it! I’ll find it!” Sanghyuk whispered in offense, scanning the room with his eyes before spotting it discarded on the floor, exactly where he had left it. He smiled to himself quickly before picking it up, pulling it over his face, and securing the black band around the back of his head. He turned to the mirror for only a second to adjust the angle of it, and to make any final adjustments to his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The look was astonishing, because it itself held a different aura than Sanghyuk himself could ever hope to have. His mask was not complicated. It was plastic, shone like the shell of a newly painted, expensive car. The white was, of course, dirty from the scratches and his habit of leaving it on the ground, but it was also clean. It glowed like freshly fallen snow in the sun, almost too bright to look at, but it also wasn’t pristine and untouched. The eye slots were in the shape of Xs. The Xs were cut out of the plastic, covered with a mesh like material so he could easily still see out of it. There was no mouth to the mask. It was that plain and simple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you done admiring yourself? We have a kidnapped boyfriend waiting for you downstairs,” Chanhee hissed, breaking Sanghyuk out of his mindset. He turned to Chanhee, glaring at him even though he couldn’t see it. “Don’t give me that look,” Chanhee scolded, pointing to the stairs. “Go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The abandoned library was quite an elaborate structure. It had, on it’s second floor, another floor within it. It wasn’t really its own floor, but more of an indoor balcony. From the balcony, Chanhee would be able to see everything through a pane of one-way glass, while “Dawon” was downstairs with Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon” was going to spend some time with the boy while they waited for Jaeyoon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon” was going to have some fun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked down the stairs slowly, taking his time. His shoes caused an echo every time he took another step, and he could see Inseong’s eyes focus on him as he finally blinked himself fully awake. Sanghyuk kept his eyes on him, unmoving as he walked, and he turned his head with his eyes so Inseong would know he was looking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But again, Inseong’s reaction so far was just plain boring. He didn’t scream, pull at the restraints on his arms, cry, try to reason with him, or even try to back up the chair he was tied to. He just stared at Sanghyuk. He was a bit offended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room was silent, save for the sounds of Sanghyuk walking, until he was standing no more than ten feet away from the boy, still and unmoving. Then the room was really silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Inseong greeted. Greeted?! Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>greeted</span>
  </em>
  <span> him?! What the fuck was that?! People didn’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>greet</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon, they ran away from him in fear! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes wandered around the room, like he wasn’t afraid to take his eyes away from Sanghyuk. And Sanghyuk could do nothing but sit there and watch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t like it, but it had been Chanhee’s idea. They both agreed to it, and it worked for them. Dawon didn’t talk. It was simple. When he did anything with his mask on, he didn’t talk to the people around him. If they didn’t know his voice, they couldn’t find him as easily. So Sanghyuk couldn’t say anything to Inseong, because theoretically, he wasn’t allowed to speak. It gave Dawon a vibe of illusion, though, which was good. It scared people more that he didn’t speak, because nobody ever knew what he wanted or what he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this a library? It smells like old books,” Inseong observed, turning his attention back to Sanghyuk. It was unbelievable. He didn’t even care that he was tied up, all he cared about was what the fucking place smelled like! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to reply so badly. He wanted to just lose it right now and scream at the boy, but that wouldn’t be very intimidating would it? No, Sanghyuk could handle this. It was fine, he wouldn’t lose his cool.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took another step closer to Inseong, causing the boy to lean back just a tiny bit out of instinct, looking him up and down with slight disgust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Disgust. Inseong wasn’t afraid. He was… disgusted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have to be so close to me?” he asked quietly. His voice was just barely above a cracking whisper, but there was defiance in it that just pissed Sanghyuk off on a new level. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong wanted him to back up? Fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk leaned in closer. Had his mask not been in the way, he would be breathing on Inseong. He was so close to him, and Inseong’s lips twitched with a slight annoyance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess you do,” Inseong mumbled, more to himself at this point. He shifted his eyes to look away from Sanghyuk, like if he just looked anywhere else he could just completely ignore him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved around him, his feet moving like a trained dancer would as he pushed himself in front of Inseong so he had no choice but to look at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Inseong asked, straightening his back. He stared at Sanghyuk with nothing but annoyance and confidence. He wasn’t scared, he was just pissed off that he was in his space. He could have been any other person, and Inseong still would have been no more affected than he was now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk didn’t budge, causing Inseong to sigh, deflating. “It’s annoying,” he mumbled, shifting his eyes away from him again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stood still, just staring at him for a moment. He would stay there and break him. He would stand there all night if he had to. But god, Inseong was just getting on his nerves. This was just fucked up! Inseong couldn’t even bother to be just a tad bit scared! It ruined the whole plan, and even more so it made him feel like nothing but an amateur. If anyone had the audacity and right to call him an amateur, it most certainly wouldn’t be him!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it, I’m done,” Sanghyuk decided without hesitation, backing away from Inseong and walking towards the stairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- uh, Dawon!” Chanhee called from the top of the stairs, coming out from behind the one way glass with a regular mask covering his mouth, shielding his eyes with his hands in a hurried fashion. “Dawon, what the hell are you doing?!” he called, his eyes darting nervously to Inseong, who stared at them with piqued interest Sanghyuk couldn’t care less about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leaving,” Sanghyuk said simply. “He’s pissing me off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t do anything!” Chanhee pointed out, clearly agitated. Sanghyuk was never easy to work with in the first place, he knew that. But he really couldn’t imagine the frustration Chanhee was going through now, because even he could understand this was a whole new level for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly!” Sanghyuk pointed out, waving his arms dramatically to express his anger. “He’s just sitting there! He’s not doing anything! Exactly!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe he would have if you had waited more than 60 seconds,” Chanhee pointed out in a hushed voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He had 60 seconds to do something—anything, and he didn’t. So you know what? We can just hand him back over to his loving, caring boyfriend now. We’ll let Jaeyoon deal with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, turning his body over to make his way back to Inseong, but his feet scuffed against the floor as he stopped in his place, staring at Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy’s hands were held in tight fists, so tight that Sanghyuk could see the white from the pressure on his knuckles. His eyes stared heavily down at the floor, not hooded, but wide open. His bottom lip was sucked in as he bit on it nervously. And at the sound of Sanghyuk stopping in his tracks, Inseong’s attention flashed up at him. He looked… scared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s brows furrowed. Could it have been that Inseong was acting that whole time, and his anxiety finally overcame him? No, that was just stupid. Nobody was that good at acting, and that stupid to let their act down. Did he… do something? He couldn’t think of one possible thing he had done that could have scared the boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon, what now?” Chanhee hissed from behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did Chanhee not see it? Did he not see the absolute loss of composure coming over Inseong? Was that even possible?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned his head over his neck to look back at Chanhee before looking back at Inseong. The boy swallowed in his seat, licking his lips and loosening the pressure in his fists.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did he just panic? Obviously, Sanghyuk had done something to trigger it, or Inseong had seen something. Of course, there was nothing in here to see, so it </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have been something he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But… what did he </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay, Sanghyuk was losing time. The more he stood doing nothing, the more he was losing whatever effect he had just had by doing whatever he had done. He had to get his shit together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean…” Sanghyuk had to word this right. What did he even want to say though?! “It’s not fair. Jaeyoon could have at least picked someone more interesting to play with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There it was again. It was small, but Inseong twitched at the sound of Jaeyoon’s name. His fingers closed into tighter fists and his breathing hitched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But why was he freaking out because of Jaeyoon? That made no sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call him,” Sanghyuk decided easily, moving past Chanhee to walk up the staircase leading to the second floor. He ignored Chanhee’s confused stutters from behind him as he moved over to the camera they had set up pointing at the boy. He pulled the whole camera off its hinges, grabbing his regular face mask and hair gel as well before walking back down the stairs. Chanhee just watched him, frozen in place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk made a simple gesture with his shoulder, encouraging Chanhee to follow him outside. As he walked, he heard footsteps quickly following up behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is going on?!” Chanhee whispered. Sanghyuk turned over his shoulder, curtly ignoring the boy as he pulled off his Dawon mask to replace it with a regular black face mask. He lifted his fingers to his lips, licking them and running them through his hair to fade away the white streak. After that he simply wiped his hands on his pants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened the door to the outside, holding his hand out as he walked towards the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Chanhee asked, composing himself by his side, obviously trying somewhat to work with him rather than try and catch up with his constantly running brain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Phone. You drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As always,” Chanhee mumbled, handing Sanghyuk his phone and unlocking the car. Sanghyuk was upset to be back in his own car, because the private car Inseong had was fairly nice. But sadly, stealing that car would make them very obvious. Sanghyuk’s car was just a rusty piece of work but would last him until he got a new one, which was all that really mattered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee stuck the key in the ignition, starting it quickly while Sanghyuk pulled his mask down, pulling out a burner phone they had stored in the glove compartment and dialing the number he had memorized by now. He pulled the phone up to his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your boyfriend is in the abandoned library,” Sanghyuk spoke immediately upon hearing the sound of the line connecting. “By the way, can’t say I’m impressed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have another boyfriend?” Sanghyuk asked with a sigh, pursing his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you always have to be such an asshole?” Jaeyoon asked, his voice hushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just come pick him up. I got bored of him,” Sanghyuk demanded, ending the call quickly and showing the phone back into the compartment before closing it again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee snorted, but he didn’t sound even slightly amused. “I can’t believe you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sanghyuk asked, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We had this planned since the moment the news came out that Jaeyoon had a lover. You planned everything out so perfectly, but you couldn’t even last a few minutes because of your anger issues!” Chanhee ranted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not anger issues,” Sanghyuk denied calmly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I believe you called it being pissed off,” Chanhee clarified. Sanghyuk nodded. “Which I believe would fall into the category of anger issues.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh I’m sorry, where you entirely entertained watching our big plan fall apart just because he didn’t want to play along?” Sanghyuk asked, challenging his logic. Sanghyuk rolled his eyes again as he turned to face out the window. Everything passed by him in a blur as Chanhee drove, and he began to feel a small boom in his head returning. He propped his head up on his arm with a sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you could have tried to work with the hindrance instead of throwing a tantrum for once,” Chanhee pointed out, and he definitely had a point there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, yeah, I could have,” Sanghyuk admitted. “But more importantly-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really, Sanghyuk? What is more important right now? We had been planning this for-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up for a second,” Sanghyuk cut him off, sitting up straight in his seat and pulling his hands in front of himself so he could use them to talk, which he couldn’t seem not to do. “Did you see how Inseong reacted?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure this whole argument started because he didn’t react to anything,” Chanhee pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he didn’t react to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But he definitely reacted. Did you really not see it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I was too busy trying to get you to stop acting like a child without it’s binky.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it I’m a child,” Sanghyuk said, waving it off. “But something is definitely weird. When I talked about Jaeyoon, he got all tense and started acting like I had just threatened to throw him over the 38th Parallel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re overreacting,” Chanhee concluded without hesitation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Says the one who didn’t even see it,” Sanghyuk pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe the panic was finally setting in for him,” he suggested, clearly still not buying into a single thing Sanghyuk was saying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head. “I lashed out and talked like a normal human being. By personifying myself I took away any aspect of fear I had-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Personifying</span>
  </em>
  <span> yourself? What is that even supposed to mean?” Chanhee cut in, narrowing his eyes at the road as he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, excuse me, but taking Dawon’s voice away was </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea to give him that inhuman effect-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean the same thing as personifying, though,” Chanhee stated, his eyes flickering from the road to Sanghyuk in quick motions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Personification is the effect of giving humanistic abilities or characteristics to something non-human-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I challenge you to argue with me on whether or not Daown is human,” Chanhee cut in. “Because your argument is bullshit-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not bullshit! I just said we took Dawon’s voice away to make him inhumane!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean he’s no longer human!” Chanheee argued, stepping harshly on the brakes as he came to a red light, causing Sanghyuk to slam against the seatbelt hugging his chest. He moved his hand up to his head as his headache throbbed from the harsh movement, turning over to glare at his partner. “Dawon is still human, and just because you spoke has no effect on whether or not people will still be afraid. If that were the case, nobody would be scared of you anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you imagine being face to face with Slenderman and hearing him talk with the voice of a middle aged man?” Sanghyuk asked, calmly leaning back in his seat as Chanhee began driving again. “Tell me that fear wouldn’t just dissipate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did not just compare yourself to Slenderman-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh I totally did,” Sanghyuk said, the corner of his lips lifting in a smirk. “Hey, anyways, I want second opinions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a second opinion,” Chanhee defended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re a first opinion. I want second opinions,” Sanghyuk denied. “I snagged the video, so I can prove it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine, fine. When?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to stop by the apartment and show you the video first. We can go tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Screwing With Inseong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You guys are amazing. Just wanted to say that. Pls comment ur opinions on characters and plot if you want to! I love love love reading it all &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“And we’re on in three… two…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome to Inside Story News! I’m your host, Lee Beom, and tonight we have a few very special guests with us!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know…” Taeyang whispered, leaning into his side as the host talked to the cameras from the center of the stage. The audience around them hushed as the program began. “You didn’t have to accept the invitation.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well it’s a little too late for that now, isn’t it?” he replied with a small laugh to accompany the comment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just know this isn’t your favorite way to spend a Friday night,” Taeyang commented with a slight shrug and smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“With us tonight, we have none other than the CEO’s of Xang, Yoo Taeyang and Kim Youngkyun!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The audience roared to a loud applause as Lee Beom made his way over with a smile as if he hadn’t been talking to the two of them all afternoon. Youngkyun gave Taeyang a short smile before the two of them stood up, smiling at the crowd and waving while bowing to the host as a greeting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Personally, it was too loud for Youngkyun’s tastes, and the whole atmosphere was way too faked for his liking, but he had grown used to the feeling of being in the spotlight, so he just plastered on his flawless camera smile and did the formal greetings that came with a less than formal TV interview.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, to catch the audience up on the events of yesterday,” Lee Beom began, turning from the two of them to the cameras facing them. “Yesterday, Seoul’s very own villain, Dawon, </span>
  <em>
    <span>kidnapped</span>
  </em>
  <span>  the newfound boyfriend of our hero, Kim Inseong. We were informed he was let go without any issues, and was not at all injured, but this is an interesting event, nonetheless.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lee Beom turned to the two of them, his eyes naturally falling to Taeyang first. “Now, as two of Jaeyoon’s close friends and business partners, did you two hear about this event before the media?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang gave Lee Beom a smile to match his image of being on camera. “Uhm, no. It’s true we’re friends with Jaeyoon, but we aren’t so close on that level.” Taeyang’s voice came out through the microphone pinned on his shirt like his voice had never cracked at a single point in his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And have you two met Inseong before?” This time Lee Beom’s eyes moved to Youngkyun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We both have, yes,” Youngkyun answered without hesitation, holding up a similar smile of professionalism. “We met him around the time the news came out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So you didn’t know about their relationship prior to the news leak?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, our relationship with Jaeyoon is more professional. He wouldn’t tell us those things anyways,” Taeyang cut in, nodding as he talked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what did you think of Inseong when you met him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought he was very nice,” Taeyang answered with a smile. “I can’t say I have anything to hold against him. He’s kind, sweet, and polite. I’m happy Jaeyoon found someone like him.” Youngkyun nodded in agreement, that being his only contribution before Lee Beom moved on to his next question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And… then Dawon kidnapped him. A sweet boy like that became one of his victims so easily. What are your thoughts on that?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What would anybody’s thoughts on that be?” Taeyang asked in return, rhetorically. “It’s terrible.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think he’s gone too far this time?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The room turned dead silent at Lee Beom’s question, causing Taeyang’s attention to flicker to Youngkyun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The corners of Youngkyun’s lips turned up slightly in an almost amused fashion as he let his thoughts sink in. Taeyang turning to him was their signal for him to speak his mind, as Youngkyun often had trouble not doing in public interviews. Of course he could hold himself back, though he rarely did. He was invited to cheap interviews like this for one reason and one reason only: he said what Taeyang wanted to, but wouldn’t. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, I think it’s a bit much to say he’s gone too far,” Youngkyun started, slowly. He wouldn’t embarrass the poor man. “I mean, let’s face it. Dawon has been Seoul’s villain for nine years now. Not much of what he does is surprising at this point. In the past, he’s done much worse. I think the worst he’s done has been hacking into private government files and threatening to jeopardize secret ops missions and leak coded files to the public. I’d hardly say a kidnapping is going too far for him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lee Beom nodded along with him with a happy smile of viewer ratings going up. Youngkyun seemed to have that effect in most interviews he did on the subject. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you saying you support it, then?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all,” he answered quickly, thankful for the question. It was a simple unspoken deal between the most decent of interviewers that Youngkyun would speak his mind and boost ratings while the interviewers would keep him out of screwing himself over in the public by asking the right questions. “I don’t think kidnapping Inseong was right, and I certainly don’t think he deserved it,” he added. “I’m simply not surprised.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon told us when he had brought Inseong over to introduce him that he was preparing for Dawon’s next move,” Taeyang jumped in, scooting more towards the edge of the couch seat. “So this must not have been surprising for him, either. And I’m just glad he’s okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” Youngkyun added with a nod. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you so much for coming tonight, we all really appreciate it,” Lee Beom said, his teeth flashing through his bright stage smile. It seemed to never fade from his face. Youngkyun was sure it was the equivalent of masking his feelings towards the people he had to work with, but he could understand the expression enough not to comment towards it or hope for anything more sincere. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, thank you for having us,” Taeyang replied instantly, reaching forward for Lee Beom's hand and grasping it with a short bow. He was always better at that formality stuff. Of course, Youngkyun would have gone for the handshake and bow, but it was just easier since Taeyang did it first. He liked following his lead in these sorts of environments.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, thank you,” Youngkyun added, bowing at him from slightly behind Taeyang. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love having you on, Mr. Kim,” the man added with his smile. Youngkyun put on one of his own. At least one person liked him being on the overbearing television news shows.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I love coming on,” Youngkyun lied easily, coming up directly beside Taeyang. “I’m sorry I can’t make it on more often.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we appreciate it when you can make it,” he said, turning his attention to Taeyang. “Thank you for coming on again, we hope to see you again soon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang nodded with his professional smile. “Of course. We’ll set a date when there’s another story.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Lee Beom said, bowing again. “I have to go prepare for the next segment, but thank you again for coming.” It was so simple how he thanked them, almost guilting them into feeling like they had to come back, before leaving and probably sighing with relief the second he turned away. Youngkyun was sure he was nice, he just hated the professional atmosphere of sucking up to everyone with more fame and money than him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe next time he’ll call us over for something to do with </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> instead of another pointless interview about Dawon,” Youngkyun mumbled within seconds of the door closing behind Lee Beom. He moved away from Taeyang’s side without even finishing his statement, moving over to his makeup table to start cleaning up the brushes that were left out. He knew he didn’t have to, but it felt rude to just leave them lying around when he had done most of his own makeup.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean technically Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> have to do with us,” Taeyang defended, probably shrugging as he paced around the room behind Youngkyun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what I meant,” he replied, cracking a small smile as he let the brushes fall neatly into the cup that held them. “And technically, no, Dawon has nothing to do with us. That’s Jaeyoon. So we’re like secondary sources for this,” Youngkyun continued. He grabbed a paper towel, ripping it from the roll, and began wiping away the flakes of powder left on the white table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If it wasn’t for being related to Jaeyoon, we wouldn’t have nearly as much business,” Taeyang pointed out, and Youngkyun couldn’t help but roll his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, but still. It’s not like Dawon is new news. He shouldn’t have to be the top story of every week’s news channel just because he does something everybody already expects him to do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t he be the top news story?” Taeyang asked, coming up beside Youngkyun and pulling the roll of paper towels from his hand. Youngkyun stopped, shifting his attention to Taeyang and watching as he ripped a few of them away from the roll, placing them back down to the table Youngkyun had been cleaning. Taeyang moved over to the next makeup table over, which he had been sitting at prior to the interview. “It’s the aspect of human interest. People are interested in him no matter what day of the week it is. The more they talk about him in the news, the more people read their articles and switch to their channel,” he explained.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I’m not interested in him,” Youngkyun mumbled, his lips twitching in what he guessed was supposed to be a half-assed one second attempt at a fake smile. He looked down to the makeup table, his fingers slowly gliding across the smooth surface. “I’m tired of always being grouped together with him and his drama.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang turned around, stepping on the small pedal of the trash can to throw his damp paper towels away. He clapped his hands together quickly, drying the excess on his dry-cleaned pants, not that he seemed to care. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun exhaled as he came to stand in front of him, moving his hand over to take Youngkyun’s. Their palms fitted together easily, and Youngkyun cracked a genuine smile at the sight. He kept his eyes down, just watching as his fingers wrapped around Taeyang’s. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Taeyang said quietly, causing Youngkyun to smile again. Taeyang moved his thumb to slide over the ring on Youngkyun’s finger, and the sight just caused him to smile more.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he began, bringing his eyes up to meet Taeyang’s without dropping his smile. “I’m complaining, aren’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang’s lips cracked into a gentle smile as their eyes met. “That’s okay,” he said, swinging their hands together. His eyes shifted down to look at them for a second before returning to Youngkyun’s. “I want you to complain to me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know but I’m being annoying,” Youngkyun admitted with a short laugh, moving his eyes away to glance over to the room as he tried to bite away his smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not being annoying,” Taeyang told him, pulling his hand away from Youngkyun’s only to zap him in his side, causing Youngkyun to jump away in shock, holding his side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang with his mouth open in shock while Taeyang just backed up, covering his smile with his hand. “Seriously?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry did something happen?” Taeyang asked innocently, barely able to get it out without laughing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a laugh, biting on his tongue as he tried not to smile. “Oh no, nothing happened,” he decided, taking a step towards Taeyang. Taeyang took another step back, laughing. “Why are you backing up?” Youngkyun asked with a mischievous smile, causing Taeyang to laugh again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just stay where you are,” Taeyang warned, laughing and completely ruining any chance he had at sounding threatening. He moved his hands out in front of himself as Youngkyun took another step forward, moving around a chair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not doing anything,” Youngkyun said with a shrug, taking another step closer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop moving!” Taeyang called out with a laugh, stepping to the side as he realized he was just backing into the wall behind him. He moved quickly, dashing over to his right to try and get to the other side of the room, but Youngkyun just jumped over the armrest of one of the couches in his way, wrapping his arms around Taeyang and tackling him to the ground. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang hit the ground with a small grunt of shock, and Youngkyun felt a small burn on his knee from hitting the floor so hard, but he didn’t care. Taeyang continued to laugh as Youngkyun flipped him over, pinning him to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm,” he tried to decide, moving his eyes up to the ceiling like he was actually in deep thought. “Should I zap you or tickle you? Which seems worse?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck off,” Taeyang laughed, trying to push him away weakly. He laughed the whole time, and Youngkyun just kept staring down at him with a small smile on his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Taeyang’s laugh died out, leaving the two of them just smiling at each other. Youngkyun loved seeing Taeyang’s smile. He wanted to make him laugh every day to have the feeling that still lingered in his chest. It was like Taeyang’s smile gave him no choice but to be happy, and his following smile was instinctual. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So are you gonna do something or are you just gonna sit there and stare at me?” Taeyang asked, lifting an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’ll just stare,” Youngkyun decided, shifting his hands to be more comfortable holding himself up above Taeyang. He tilted his head, eyes still focused on Taeyang.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was beautiful. Youngkyun would think that every time he saw him, but Taeyang was really the most beautiful person in the world to him. It didn’t matter how many idols existed, or how many people had smoother features or cleaner skin. None of that mattered, because no matter what he would always think Taeyang looked more beautiful than every single one of them. He was truly the most beautiful person in his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a while of Youngkyun just staring at him, Taeyang couldn’t hold it in anymore, his lips turning into a smile milliseconds before he started laughing, rolling his head to the side to face away from him. Then he turned his head up to face Youngkyun again, smile gone, but clearly his comical mood was not. “You know we’re still in the interview room, right? What if someone walks in right now, huh?” he asked, testing him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun snorted. “Then they’ll probably walk right back out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Taeyang decided with a pout, moving his hands to push weakly at Youngkyun’s chest. Youngkyun laughed, moving away from him and holding out his hand to help him up. Taeyang took it graciously, letting Youngkyun pull him up. His suit was a mess now, crumpled in every possible spot over his off-centered shirt. His hair stuck up in every direction from the gel that was in it and there was absolutely no way Youngkyun could see to fix it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oops,” he said simply, just looking at Taeyang’s disheveled appearance. Taeyang gave him a deadpan stare in return. Youngkyun opened his mouth to say something cheesy, but before he could get the words out Taeyang’s phone was ringing. He groaned, moving his eyes over to glare at his phone like it was the bane of his existence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Answer it,” Youngkyun scolded him, and Taeyang gave him a quick pout before reaching over to grab it. He stared at the caller ID for a second before answering the call, putting the phone on speaker mode.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re on speaker,” Taeyang told him immediately upon answering the call. Youngkyun looked over to the phone in interest, slowly making his way over to stand side by side with Taeyang.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay. Hey Youngkyun!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled at the sound of the familiar voice. “Hey Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is Inseong okay?” Taeyang asked immediately, causing Youngkyun to laugh. Jaeyoon was the one who called him, and here he was leading the conversation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>Youngkyun heard Jaeyoon laugh from the other end of the call. “I was actually just calling to tell you how offended</span> <span>I am that you don’t consider us close,” he said with a heavily sarcastic coated voice. “I watched the interview. Congratulations, by the way, on the two year anniversary of your company.”</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang smiled fondly at the phone. It was almost laughable how Jaeyoon, who had a million other things going on in his life, remembered the anniversary of their company, but nobody else did. They were here on an interview about Dawon, not their company. Youngkyun actually really hated that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well we’re glad someone remembered,” Youngkyun said, letting himself smile as he wrapped his arm around Taeyang’s waist, his chin falling to the boy’s shoulder. “Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not like I lied,” Taeyang said with a shrug, referring to his earlier comment. “It’s not like we go out to get breakfast together every other weekend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, so why exactly are you calling?” Youngkyun asked curiously. “Not to be rude, but you usually don’t call just to make jokes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh!” Jaeyoon said suddenly, like he had completely forgotten the reason why he even called in the first place. “I just wanted to say sorry for ditching the meeting yesterday. I know I was scheduled to-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, hey,” Taeyang interrupted. “You had bigger things to deal with, don’t even worry about it,” he assured him. Jaeyoon sighed in slight relief through the phone. “So how is Inseong? Is he okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s good. He didn’t really seem to be that shaken up about it, which is good,” Jaeyoon explained, pausing. “I’m a bit angry at myself for not seeing that coming, but-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not like you’re a prophet,” Taeyang interrupted. “Don’t blame yourself for it. Dawon is tricky.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You may be Seoul’s hero, but you’re still a human,” Youngkyun reminded him. “You don’t have city saving powers or future foreseeing abilities. Just be glad Inseong wasn’t traumatized.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dawon? Traumatizing? What a joke,” Jaeyoon commented with a laugh, causing Youngkyun to crack a smile. Well, it was true. Dawon wasn’t really that scary at all, and he would know more than anyone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See? Nothing to worry about, nothing to blame yourself for,” Taeyang said with a teeth exposing smile, turning to Youngkyun happily before returning his attention to the phone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, what would I do without you guys?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that Taeyang?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s eyes lit up as he heard the groggy voice from the other end of the phone. “Inseong!” he called into the phone. “Hi!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hi Youngkyun,” the boy greeted, clearly very not awake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He just woke up,” Jaeyoon commented with a giggle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi Inseong!!” Taeyang called. “We’re glad you’re okay!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Oh! Oh, yeah,” Inseong stuttered, causing the two boys to start laughing, which just caused Inseong to laugh out of nerves. “Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Go back to sleep if you’re tired,” Jaeyoon said with an amused laugh, clearly talking to Inseong by the sound of his faded voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m awake now, it’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I’ll meet you in the living room in just a few seconds, just let me finish my call,” Jaeyoon told him, and Youngkyun smiled at how sweet his voice sounded. He was happy Jaeyoon finally had someone to make him happy like that, because he really deserved it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Inseong agreed faintly, and Jaeyoon turned back to the call with a laugh. “Anyways, Taeyang, when can I reschedule?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I work on your time,” Taeyang responded, smiling at Youngkyun before taking the call off speaker and pulling it to his ear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“God I’m so bored,” Youngkyun moaned, leg dangling off the couch. He turned the tennis ball around in his hand before throwing it up again, catching it easily.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Perhaps… we should find you something to do?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled, barely lifting his eyes to see Jangmi off to the side with a tray of side foods. Jangmi had a glowing smile on her face like she always did, hair tied back in a neat ponytail that still fell to her mid back. Her makeup was subtle, and she insisted she didn’t wear any but the blush tints on her cheeks gave it away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun tossed the ball up in the air again only for it to fall back down to his hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Like what?” Youngkyun asked, tossing the ball up again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jangmi seemed to think for a moment. “We could find you a new book to read,” she suggested with a happy smile. “I have a volume to suggestion.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not in the mood to read,” Youngkyun decided, way too bored to get into a new story. Had he already been involved in one, he definitely would have taken Jangmi’s suggestion, but the process of starting a new book was so tedious and he didn’t have the energy at the moment. “Wait,” he said suddenly, sitting up straight. One of his legs still hung awkwardly over the armrest of the couch he had been sprawled out across while his other had been hanging off the edge. “Why are you here today? When did you get here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The question caused Jangmi to laugh, tilting her head down in an attempt to hide it. Youngkyun was glad he could make the girl laugh, but he was honestly very confused. How long had he zoned out for that question to be funny?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been here for an hour now,” Jangmi told him once she had finished laughing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Youngkyun said dully, trying to remember her walking in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I greeted you when I came in,” she added.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Youngkyun asked without a pause for breath, and Jangmi couldn’t help but laugh with an amused nod. “Wow, I’m sorry. Hello. How was your weekend?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My weekend was good,” she replied formally with a smile, still holding the tray in front of herself. “But how was your day? You seem slightly off put.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, I just have about a hundred things running through my mind,” Youngkyun confessed, pulling his legs over to the side of the couch so he could stand up. He dropped the tennis ball on the couch cushion as he made his way over to Jangmi, fitting his hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt he was wearing. He looked down to the tray in her hands. “Are those for Taeyang and Jaeyoon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir,” she replied with a nod. Youngkyun hated being called ‘sir’ and so did Taeyang. However, it had been Jangmi’s preference to continue calling them with such formality due to her instincts from having worked at similar jobs most of her life. To accommodate her, they tolerated it and pretended not to hate it so much. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry for holding you up then,” he said, stepping to the side as a queue for her to continue working. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jangmi gave Youngkyun a small smile and a head bow of thanks before moving on and carrying the tray over to Taeyang’s small office room in the back of the house. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang had made an appointment to meet with Jaeyoon as soon as they got home. Youngkyun didn’t mind, after all it was for things that needed to be talked about, but he was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>bored.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Youngkyun only ever sat in a few meetings with Jaeyoon about the company, but that was all mostly taken care of by Taeyang.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They were called the CEO's of Xang, but in all honesty, Taeyang was the CEO. Him and Youngkyun had set it up that way, so Taeyang would handle more of the paperwork and formalities he, for some reason, wasn’t bothered by. Youngkyun, in opposition, ran more of the general company than Taeyang. It was their perfect deal. Taeyang handled more of the business and paperwork, and Youngkyun handled more of the inside company and employment. So whenever Jaeyoon came over to discuss business, it was by default always Taeyang that talked to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun wasn’t bothered, again, to have Taeyang focused on Jaeyoon. He was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>bored</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a sigh, Youngkyun glanced around the room in a bored fashion. “God, everything just looks so boring,” he mumbled, eyes landing on the kitchen. It wasn’t his habit to eat away his boredom, but he couldn’t deny that putting together something small would at least keep him busy for a few minutes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly made his way over to the kitchen, listening to the sound of the quiet piano ambiance they had set in the background.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their house was homey, but it was also not. To be short, their house was big. The main door, a white glass bordered by black rims, lead directly into the main hall. It was an open space. To the direct right was a hallway that lead down to the office rooms, one of which Taeyang was in with Jaeyoon right now. Beyond that was the kitchen, themed with black, and oak brown, and a light shade of blue. It was fancy and spacious, with a huge counter space and fancy equipment. He had the fridge stocked and everything he could ever want to eat at the ready to be prepared.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If you looked to the left from the door, there was a grand piano. Youngkyun couldn’t play, but Taeyang could. It was by the door so when he played, the sound would echo throughout the entire house. Taeyang was very good at playing the piano, so it was always an incredible sound to hear. Sitting on the piano was a small speaker that had a playlist of calming and elegant piano music playing. It was only set up because Jangmi was here, because she was the only one who ever remembered to set it up. Youngkyun and Taeyang never set it up on their own because they never noticed the lack of noise, but they appreciated it when Jangmi put in the extra effort. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Next to the piano was a staircase that lead to a small upstairs area which had their bedroom and a grand bathroom in it. Their bedroom was themed with a spruce colored floor and lighter tones for the furniture. Taeyang had insisted on the pastel pink bedside tables, which Youngkyun couldn’t bring himself to argue with for the sole reason that Taeyang seemed so enthusiastic about getting them. They had grown on Youngkyun, but he still thought they were kind of ugly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Beyond the staircase was the living room, opposite the kitchen. There was a huge flat-screen TV hanging over the fireplace, surrounded by clean leather couches.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Again, their house was big; Youngkyun honestly hated being home alone because it was so unnecessarily big. The only thing that made his home feel like an actual home was Taeyang.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was actually part of the reason they hired Jangmi. When Taeyang was off in meetings or out on work, Youngkyun never wanted to be home. It had become something Taeyang quickly picked up on, but couldn’t help. After all, work was work. Youngkyun suggested, at first, that maybe they didn’t need such a big house, but as company owners, they frequently had important people over and important gatherings, so they needed the space and the fancy illusion. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s when Taeyang hired Jangmi. Almost a year and a half ago, Jangmi had been hired as their simple house maid. She would serve them when they needed it, and her job was to care for the house. It didn’t take Youngkyun long to realize she had been hired to entertain him and keep him company when Taeyang couldn’t, and yet he still never told Taeyang he had figured it out. It had been so long now, that he just assumed Taeyang knew. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, sir!” Jangmi called, running over to the kitchen hurriedly. Youngkyun looked up from the plates he was cleaning to look at her. He hadn’t even realized he had started cleaning the dishes, but he guessed he had just been so bored that he didn’t mind helping clean. He didn’t mind anyways, in fact, Jangmi barely ever had any work to do. “You don’t have to do that!” she said, grabbing the plate from his hand like that was going to stop him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can dry if you want,” he offered, taking the plate back from her hands with a small smile so he could continue cleaning it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t be cleaning. That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> job,” she pointed out. “I’m here so you don’t have to do that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Are you going to stop me?” Youngkyun challenged with a laugh, nodding his chin towards the cabinet with the dish towels in it so she could grab one. She pouted, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing one anyways. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you really so bored that you want to clean?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I like cleaning,” Youngkyun reminded her, handing her a clean plate. “You know that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does cleaning help you think?” she asked, taking the plate from him and drying it with the towel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s lips turned into a small smile. “I mean, yeah, I have things going on in my mind, but I’m not really thinking about any of them,” he admitted. The main thing going through his head right now was Dawon. But then again, Dawon was always on his mind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He heard the doorbell ring behind him, and all he could do was sigh in annoyance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can answer it,” Jangmi answered immediately, folding the towel quickly and dashing off towards the front door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded, grabbing the towel she had dropped, unfolding it, and drying his hands on it. He refolded it to the best of his ability, but it didn’t look nearly as neat as she had made it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk and Chanhee are here!” Jangmi called out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Youngkyun mumbled, almost tripping over his own feet as he ran to the door. He had to catch himself on the edge of the counter as he sprinted over to the door. Jangmi stood to the side, watching with wide eyes while Sanghyuk just stood with a cocky smile on his face. “Get out,” Youngkyun hissed at him as soon as he was close enough to be heard. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s cocky smile dropped. “What?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you Jangmi,” he said with a fake smile, turning to her as he pushed Sanghyuk further out the door. “Sanghyuk isn’t supposed to see the new renovations we made to the living room yet, and I don’t want the surprise to be ruined without Taeyang here. If Taeyang’s meeting ends, just tell him I’ll be out getting lunch with Sanghyuk and Chanhee. Thank you!” he rambled, clinging onto anything to use as an excuse as he ushered Sanghyuk out of the house. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh… okay. I’ll let him know,” Jangmi responded with a nod, waving him off and closing the doors behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude, what the hell?” Sanghyuk asked, turning around as Youngkyun was pushing him further away from the house. “I come here to visit you and-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is inside right now,” Youngkyun hissed. Sanghyuk dropped any attitude he had the second Jaeyoon’s name was brought up. “So unless you want a meet and greet I suggest we leave.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love that idea,” Chanhee said with a nod, grabbing Sanghyuk’s sleeve and tugging him back towards the car. Youngkyun nodded, sparing one last glance at his house before shoving his hands in his pockets again and trailing after them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee placed himself in the driver’s seat, and Youngkyun took the backseat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you dumb?” Youngkyun asked, glaring at the back of Sanghyuk’s head as he placed his fingers on the underneath of the backseat, lifting it up. He reached in like habit, grabbing the spare t-shirt, leather jacket and fitted jeans before placing the seat back down. “Why would you just show up at my house unannounced?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do it all the time!” Sanghyuk defended, turning around over the back of the seat to gape at Youngkyun like he wasn’t at all in the wrong. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You could have at least dropped a text or something,” Youngkyun mumbled, tugging his sweatshirt over his head and tossing it to the empty seat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, have you been working out?” Sanghyuk asked, reaching over to poke at Youngkyun’s bare chest only for Youngkyun to swat his hand away with a disgusted look. Sanghyuk just rolled his eyes, turning around in his seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” Youngkyun asked instead of answering, pulling the t-shirt over his head. He pulled off his sweatpants next, quickly slipping his legs inside the jeans he had pulled out from under the seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well someone is in a mood,” Sanghyuk mumbled, not looking at Youngkyun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t act like a five year old,” Chanhee scolded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m in a mood because you just showed up at my house the day after kidnapping Inseong while Jaeyoon is in my goddamn house. Oh, and by the way-” Youngkyun ranted, buttoning his jeans and leaning in between the front seats to make dead eye contact with Sanghyuk. “Inseong? Really? That boy has done </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s Jaeyoon’s boyfriend! Of course I had to kidnap him!” Sanghyuk defended.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met and you just- oh my god I can’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> about it. You just knocked him out cold and dragged him to some shitty hideout-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t shitty!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That abandoned library is the definition of shitty,” Youngkyun replied without hesitation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve brought people to shittier,” Sanghyuk pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s true, the abandoned library was pretty nice compared to most of our hideouts,” Chanhee agreed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t just switch sides like that,” Youngkyun stated with a glare in the younger boy’s direction before sliding his arms in the sleeves of the leather jacket and gesturing for Chanhee to start driving. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, but hear us out-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I have to leave the comfort of my own home just to hear you two out?” Youngkyun asked, looking between the back of their heads before reaching for the seat belt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You were doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>dishes.</span>
  </em>
  <span> You had nothing else better going on,” Sanghyuk pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What would people think if we just left Inseong alone?” Chanhee asked, completely ignoring Sanghyuk. “They might think he’s Dawon or that Dawon has a personal connection to him!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t even care about that,” Sanghyuk added. “It’s something a villain has to do! Villains kidnap the hero’s loved ones. That’s how it goes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That too,” Chanhee agreed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything he says,” Youngkyun mumbled towards Chanhee, causing him to look up at him through the rearview mirror. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee wishes he was my brother,” Sanghyuk interrupted, grabbing the rearview mirror and angling it so he could see Youngkyun sitting behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uhm, excuse me, I’m the one driving!” Chanhee called out, grabbing the mirror back from him and trying to position it while keeping his eyes on the road.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m trying to have a conversation,” Sanghyuk defended, stealing the mirror back from him so he could see Youngkyun again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does everything always have to be about you?” Youngkyun asked with a shake of his head, making eye contact through the mirror. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Apparently,” Chanhee mumbled with a shake of his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, on that point-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“God you two are annoying,” Sanghyuk groaned, sinking in his seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Interrupt me one more time and see what happens,” Youngkyun threatened, making a motion like he was going to hit his head from behind. “We had a deal,” he pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We have a lot of deals,” Sanghyuk pointed out. “Remind me of which one specifically we’re-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You promised you would never come to my house as Dawon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I haven’t!” Sanghyuk defended, actually turning around in his seat to face Youngkyun. Chanhee moved his hand to reposition the rearview mirror while he was turned around. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You just did!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I wearing my mask? No. Is my hair done? No,” Sanghyuk listed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, but you’re here to talk about something as Dawon,” Youngkyun replied, staring him down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I am!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Which is directly against our deal!” Youngkyun yelled, rolling his eyes in disbelief. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not going to tell Taeyang I’m Dawon, don’t worry. Cool your shit,” Sanghyuk said with a sigh, deflating in the front seat as he turned back around. “And besides-” Sanghyuk paused to grab the rearview mirror, repositioning it to see Youngkyun. “Besides, have I ever given him any hints in all the time we’ve known each other?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re pissing me off,” Youngkyun stated outright, unbuckling his belt to lean forward, turning the rearview mirror back towards Chanhee. “What’s with you lately?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you met him? He’s always like this,” Chanhee stated with a sigh, moving his hand to angle the mirror to see the back window. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I seem to piss everyone off, that’s not new news.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well stop it!” Youngkyun yelled, seriously annoyed. He pulled his seatbelt back over his chest before crossing his arms and laying back in his seat. “I didn’t get in the car just to fight with you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It kind of seems like you did,” Sanghyuk mumbled, dragging out his voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee stop the car.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed. “Do we seriously need to do this right now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop the car or I’m calling Jaeyoon to come pick me up and I’m telling him you kidnapped me,” Youngkyun threatened, completely serious. Chanhee knew he was serious, too, sighing as he put his blinker on to pull over to the side of the road. Youngkyun unbuckled his seatbelt, opening the door and stepping out quickly. He slammed the door behind him, opening Sanghyuk’s door for him. Sanghyuk hadn’t even unbuckled his seatbelt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, can we please just go get food? I’m starving,” Chanhee begged with a whine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Get out,” Youngkyun said, looking down at Sanghyuk. He silently unbuckled his seatbelt, stepping out of the car to stand face to face with Youngkyun. He closed the door behind him just as Chanhee opened his own, stepping out to watch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you come to see me for?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip as his eyes looked around at the cars and people passing by. “Not here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why? Because there’s people out here?” Youngkyun asked, turning his attention away only to glance at all the passing cars and people walking on the sidewalk. He shook his head, bringing his eyes back to Sanghyuk’s. “Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday? Yeah, I’m pissed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know why,” Sanghyuk replied honestly. “What do you expect from me at this point?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not much, to be honest,” Youngkyun spat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you my friend?” Sanghyuk asked, narrowing his eyes at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am!” Youngkyun replied angrily. “But you’re acting like an ass! I just left my house to come with you with no explanation, and you can’t even have the dignity to admit that kidnapping Inseong was a fucked up move. And even on top of that, you’re just pissing us both off. Do yourself a favor and work with us instead of pretending we’re always just going to work around you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun barely exhaled before pulling open his door and shoving himself back inside. There was a small moment of silence before anyone else moved. Chanhee got back in the car next, closing his door and buckling his belt. Sanghyuk followed a few seconds later. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So why am I here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s about Inseong,” Sanghyuk said without hesitation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course it is,” Youngkyun said with a roll of his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I have an idea,” Sanghyuk began, his tone just advertising his desire to fight. “How about you also accept the fact that me being a villain doesn’t revolve around you and your connections?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned around in his seat. “I don’t give two shits that you think Inseong is a sweet person that didn’t deserve anything bad to happen to him ever in his life. I kidnapped him. It was my plan. I’ve done worse. Suck it up and stop pouting about it like a whining child.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you both maybe just shut the fuck up?” Chanhee interrupted, turning over to face the both of them. “Being in a car with you two is insufferable. It’s barely even been five minutes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe if Youngkyun wasn’t-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk. Stop,” Chanhee interrupted. “Youngkyun, we kidnapped Inseong. It was my plan too. This wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done bad shit, I mean you said it yourself in your interview today. Stop whining just because we involved someone you know personally. He’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you Chanhee,” Sanghyuk replied, like he was immune to Chanhee’s rant.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you,” Chanhee began, turning to him. “You’re always a pain in the ass, that’s not new. But it’s worse than usual lately, and you need to cut it out. Youngkyun’s rightfully a bit upset, so maybe just say ‘hey man, sorry. Next time I’ll tell you what my plan is before I mess with your people.’” Sanghyuk sighed, sinking into his seat as he left the car in a pause of silence. “Well someone say something because I’m not moving the car until you two stop being bitchy at each other. Get over your moods.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“God, why am I even friends with you assholes,” Youngkyun mumbled, trying not to let the corners of his lips lift in a smile. He had to hand it to Chanhee, he had an amazing talent for dealing with the fights Sanghyuk got in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you think we’re amusing,” Sanghyuk replied, and Youngkyun could see the small hint of a smile on his face from the side mirror outside his window. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you at least tell me next time you plan to fuck with Inseong?” Youngkyun requested.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Only if you accept that my next plan is to fuck with Inseong,” Sanghyuk replied, barely able to get it out without snorting at himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head in disbelief, letting himself smile a bit. “Yeah, nothing shocking there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, we have something to show you,” Sanghyuk began, turning around in his seat to face Youngkyun. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He thinks it’s a big deal,” Chanhee commented, also turning around to face Youngkyun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It is,” Sanghyuk stated, pulling his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it, and handing it to Youngkyun. “There’s a video of Inseong from yesterday on it. I have a small clip of it I want you to watch.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to watch you torment Inseong, now?” Youngkyun asked, lifting his eyebrows at the boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not torment,” Chanhee promised. “It’s literally nothing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I beg to differ,” Sanghyuk disagreed, pushing the phone towards him. Youngkyun took it from his hands, looking at the video. It was a black and white video angled down at Inseong who was tied up in a chair in the middle of a room. “Just watch it and voice your opinions.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“First of all, really?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The place is a dump!” Youngkyun commented, gesturing to the surrounding area of the video. “You couldn’t at least clean it up?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Deal with it or let me kidnap Jangmi,” Sanghyuk bargained.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jangmi is mine. Fuck off,” Youngkyun replied, looking down to the video and clicking the play button.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a simple video of Inseong just sitting alone in the chair while Sanghyuk was off in the corner talking to Chanhee. Youngkyun was about to comment on how Sanghyuk shouldn’t be talking around Inseong in the first place, but he paused with his mouth already partly open. Inseong’s expression changed in the video.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Youngkyun mumbled in horror, looking from the video to Sanghyuk. “Did you just threaten to kill his entire family? What the fuck Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See!” Sanghyuk said with a jump, shaking the whole car as he turned his attention to Chanhee. “He saw it!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you say?” Youngkyun asked, looking up to Sanghyuk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said, and I quote: ‘We can just hand him back over to his loving, caring boyfriend now. We’ll let Jaeyoon deal with him.’”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What else?” Youngkyun asked, because surely that couldn’t be the only thing he said.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s it,” Sanghyuk confirmed. “Weird right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And where exactly are you going with this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the lottery winning question!” Chanhee announced, turning to face Sanghyuk as if he had heard this entire thing at least five times already.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think Inseong is scared of Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk concluded easily, taking the phone back from Youngkyun. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s stupid,” Youngkyun stated instantly. “I was on the phone with him and Jaeyoon earlier. Jaeyoon was really sweet towards him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s gross,” Sanghyuk mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just think it was panic finally setting in for him,” Chanhee said, putting his hands in the air like he was surrendering.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I think there’s something more going on,” Sanghyuk replied. He turned to Youngkyun. “There was no reason for Inseong to get that scared when I mentioned Jaeyoon unless there’s something wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Youngkyun began. “But-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>But,</span>
  </em>
  <span> there is no reason for Inseong to be scared of Jaeyoon, either,” he finished.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you know that for sure?” Sanghyuk asked, hooking his arm around the headrest of his seat. “You know everything that goes on in their relationship and you’re absolutely sure there’s no reason? You can say that with absolute certainty?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well… when he put it like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Sanghyuk concluded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve known Jaeyoon for years. There’s no way he would-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you at least admit it’s strange?” Sanghyuk asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> strange!” Youngkyun accepted. “However-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take personal bias out of it. If it was anyone else, wouldn’t you think it was suspicious?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes! I already told you I agreed!” Youngkyun conceded, looking between him and Chanhee. “But I’m telling you it doesn’t make-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned to Chanhee. “See? I told you-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t done talking,” Youngkyun interrupted, smacking Sanghyuk on the back of the head. “It doesn’t make any sense.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care if it makes sense,” Sanghyuk told him honestly, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t give two shits if it makes sense. If there’s a chance something is going on and there’s a reason for Inseong to be scared of him, I want to know and expose him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is a nice guy!” Youngkyun defended, feeling like he was going to explode with frustration. He just wanted to hit the back of Sanghyuk’s seat as hard as he could and scream. Sanghyuk wasn’t listening to him, and the situation made no sense. Youngkyun couldn’t even process how much Sanghyuk was misjudging everything. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why does Inseong look so scared of him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun really wished he had had an answer to that question. In his mind, if he had an answer to that question, Sanghyuk never would have gone above and beyond in screwing himself over. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Nobility as a Hero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay wait I forgot to add this to my comment at the beginning but how I portray any and all characters in this fic is not how I view them in real life, and the two should definitely not be associated. I just want to say that NOW before shit goes down! I love all of SF9 I swear. But also, thank you so much for all the comments already! I love y'all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“This plan is shitty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This plan is </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled as he positioned the phone between his shoulder and his ear. He reached around to his back pocket to pull out a small container of mints, popping it open and tossing two into his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And </span>
  <em>
    <span>hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he continued, sliding the container back into his pocket, “we worked on this plan together. It’s our love child. Don’t call it shitty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not our </span>
  <em>
    <span>love child,</span>
  </em>
  <span> what the fuck?” Chanhee asked, coughing out his surprise and disgust at Sanghyuk’s comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to work perfectly,” Sanghyuk insisted, sliding the phone back in his hand so it wasn’t making his neck sit at an uncomfortable angle anymore. There was an uncomfortable silence in the call, causing Sanghyuk to furrow his eyebrows as he froze. “Chanhee? Hello?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since when are you confident that your plans are going to work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> think our plans are going to work. You always back out last minute or want to change something. I don’t think I’ve ever been the one to second guess our plans.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Times are changing,” Sanghyuk commented nonchalantly, dragging out his voice as he looked up to the trees. The leaves were still falling and layering the ground in a beautiful array of warm colors, which made this the absolute perfect setting for his plan. It was going to go just the way he wanted it to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something is wrong. Do you have a fever? Broken leg? Another migraine?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I actually don’t have a headache right now,” Sanghyuk admitted, reaching out his hand to catch a falling leaf. It landed perfectly in the palm of his hand. “Surprisingly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> you want to go through with this plan?” Chanhee asked after a moment of hesitant silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Sanghyuk confirmed without delay. He looked up from the wilted leaf in his hand to a bench across the park. Sanghyuk felt himself not smiling at the sight in front of him, but rather lifting his head in a sensation similar to intriguement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was sitting at a bench across the park, hands folded in his lap with his head angled down to his feet. There were a few birds pecking at the ground around him, and he more or less just appeared to be completely invested in them. He wore black jeans and a denim colored button up with long sleeves. It hung off him lightly, the fabric blowing with the gentle breeze. His hair was matted under a black cap that he seemed to have sitting just above his eyes. He was almost unrecognizable. Almost. Of course, Sanghyuk probably wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the fact that he followed him here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Chanhee asked, shocking Sanghyuk aware of the silence he had left Chanhee in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watching him,” he answered simply, still staring off at the boy. He wouldn’t even look up to notice him watching, too immersed in the ground the birds pecked at to even consider that someone could be watching him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I’m still not sure about this,” Chanhee said again. Sanghyuk sighed, the corner of his lips twitching in a content smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not? It’s a good plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if you get caught? You won’t have anything to hide your face. You’re gonna go up to him as completely you,” Chanhee ranted, his voice coming out without a single breath in between his words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I go up in a mask, there’s no trust. I need his trust for this to work,” Sanghyuk explained for probably the tenth time, slowly coming to understand how it felt like working with him every day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Betting on earning the trust of a person you’ve never met before is a big ass bet, Hyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” Sanghyuk mumbled, moving his eyes to the bird on the ground by Inseong’s feet. “But I have to. You know how important this is to me, right? I mean, think about it. If I can prove that Jaeyoon isn’t the lovable hero everyone thinks he is, then maybe I can-” Sanghyuk stopped speaking, his voice cutting off for some reason he couldn’t even begin to explain. But he knew exactly what he wanted to say. If he could prove that Jaeyoon wasn’t the hero everyone wished he was, then maybe he wouldn’t have the be the villain everyone thought he was, either. “Never mind,” Sanghyuk finished, adjusting his position to sit up straight. “This is my best plan yet, and you just have to accept that it’s going to work and we’re awesome.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk are you sure you can-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Duty calls. Gotta go. Love you bro,” Sanghyuk finished, ending the call as soon as he had finished speaking. He watched the screen on his phone fade to black as the connection with Chanhee ended. He deflated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe, just maybe, if he pulled this off perfectly, he could finally end the never ending torment he subjected himself to every day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This has to go perfectly,” Sanghyuk mumbled to himself, lifting his eyes from the phone screen to the boy sitting across the park. “Perfectly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself up from the bench, sliding his phone into his pocket and purposefully pulling his hands out to his sides. He plastered a smile on his face and stared up at the trees as he walked, admiring the nature he honestly couldn’t care less about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked right toward Inseong, and right past him. </span>
  <span>But then he stopped, acting as if he had just noticed the boy as if he hadn’t been watching him this whole time. He stopped in his tracks, looking over to him, and shifted his feet to move towards him instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” he greeted, making his way up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked up at Sanghyuk with empty eyes, like he hadn’t even realized he was sitting in the park. It was the look of someone who just got caught daydreaming in class. He made a simple nod of acknowledgement towards Sanghyuk, before letting his eyes fall back down to the ground. Sanghyuk wanted to call him rude, but reminded himself to keep his smile on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I sit here?” he asked, gesturing his hand to the empty spot next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked back up at Sanghyuk with a less than inviting look. “There’s like…” his eyes shifted to see all of the other empty benches in the park, “a dozen other places to sit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay, so Sanghyuk had hoped for this to go a bit smoother than it was, but it was fine! Sanghyuk had most likely only slept for fifteen hours in the past three days going over every possible scenario of how this could play out in his head, and he was most definitely prepared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a people person,” Sanghyuk lied with a shrug, looking at the seat again. “So can I sit here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked from Sanghyuk to the seat, and back up to Sanghyuk. He was beginning to think he would actually say no, which would have just made everything a lot harder for him. But then Inseong shifted over a bit, and gave him a simple nod. Inseong gave him permission to sit, and that was all he needed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Sanghyuk said, keeping his smile up. “I’m Sanghyuk, by the way!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt weird using his real name. He almost wanted to introduce himself as Dawon instead considering the unconscious thought in the back of his head that reminded him of who he was really here as. In his mind, he knew he was Dawon right now. He was carrying out one of Dawon’s plans, but he was using his real name. He had never done that before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t really respond to his introduction, barely giving him a simple nod of acknowledgement before returning his eyes to the birds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk observed the way he watched them for a second, before shifting his eyes to look down at the birds with him. “Did you name them?” he asked simply. That wasn’t necessarily part of his plan to say, but Inseong was being difficult to work with, so he had to improvise a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Name them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk answered with a nod. “I mean, they’re all gathered around you like this. You should name them.” The birds pecked around his feet, slowly moving closer and closer, and he was almost tempted to reach his hand out towards them. He had never just sat and watched birds before, so he had never had the urge to just pet one or pick one up either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you sitting here?” Inseong finally asked, turning Sanghyuk’s attention away from the birds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, looking away from the boy again. He almost felt bad for the bullshit he was going to use as an excuse. “It’s a nice day outside,” he started, his voice purposefully a little quieter than before. “You’re sitting here looking like your head is gonna explode from thinking so much. I just thought maybe you wanted to talk about something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know who you are,” Inseong reminded him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Sanghyuk pointed out, cracking a small smile as a bird pecked its way up to the tip of his shoe before flying backwards again. And here came the biggest lie of them all. “You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I just thought maybe you’d like to get things off your chest without worrying you’ll ever have to see me again. Besides-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Inseong interrupted. Sanghyuk looked up to him again innocently. “You don’t know who I am?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, raising an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong seemed extremely caught off guard by Sanghyuk’s lie, but it was exactly what he had hoped for. Without even realizing it, Inseong had done exactly what Sanghyuk had wanted him to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean… I just thought… I thought you sat next to me because you know who I am,” Inseong confessed quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk paused for a moment, keeping up the innocent expression. This was easy. “Are you an idol?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A… what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An idol,” Sanghyuk repeated, turning his full body to face Inseong on the bench. “I don’t want to make anything awkward, but you are objectively really pretty, so if you told me you were an idol I would definitely believe it. But I don’t really keep up with that stuff, so I wouldn’t know you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I’m an idol?” Inseong asked again, his mind obviously way behind on processing everything Sanghyuk was saying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded slowly. “Unless you’re not? I can’t really think of any other reason I would know you- but why do you look so shocked? Does everyone in the whole world recognize you except me?” Sanghyuk made sure to tone his voice in a way that appeared slightly aghast towards the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had prepared for absolutely everything. His plan had been going so perfectly. He had spent three nights going over every possible scenario in his head, and he was prepared for what he had thought was everything. He had a plan for Inseong ignoring him, slapping him, calling him out, and even figuring out his identity. He had a plan in case the world burned around him. However, there wasn’t a single thing in his entire life that could have prepared him for Inseong smiling, and beyond that, nothing could have prepared him for Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his muscles freeze as the boy’s eyes turned up to the sky in a perfect smile as his teeth peeked through his lips. His chest rose in a quick, silent chuckle, but within seconds he was really laughing. Inseong was smiling and laughing and Sanghyuk couldn’t even bring himself to move or fake laugh along with the boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you laughing?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, completely serious. He was surprised he was even able to get that out. His throat went dry as Inseong’s eyes turned back to his, shining in the sun with his smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shrugged. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly, smiling again as if he was tempted to start laughing again. He turned completely towards Sanghyuk, so suddenly in fact that Sanghyuk almost jumped back out of shock. He looked at him like he wanted to talk now, like he was enjoying their conversation. Why had he just turned around and changed so suddenly?! Inseong was supposed to be an asshole! “Do you really not know who I am?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked at the boy staring back at him before clearing his throat and remembering he was supposed to respond when asked a question. “I would say ‘sorry, no’ but honestly you look scarily happy that I don’t know who you are,” Sanghyuk confessed, still lying, obviously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled at his words, sitting back down regularly. “I kind of am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Why?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, isn’t it kind of everybody’s goal to be famous?” Sanghyuk asked, not even making eye contact with Inseong as he tried to go through it all in his head. Why didn’t Inseong like being recognized? He was dating the most famous person in the country and yet he sounded like he would rather be a nobody. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not mine,” Inseong answered without hesitation. His eyes dropped a bit. “I don’t know, I guess… ever since about two weeks ago, it just feels like I lost my way of life, you know? I mean, now that people recognize me everywhere I go, I lost the normality I used to have. I can’t ever get that back. So… I don’t know, it feels… almost normal to not be recognized by a random stranger.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t how Sanghyuk’s plan was supposed to go. His plan had just been to introduce himself so he could ‘coincidentally’ run into him again later in the week. Today was just supposed to be a set up introduction, not a heart to heart minutes after meeting. Inseong wasn’t supposed to be smiling and laughing, or sharing how he felt. Inseong was supposed to be an asshole. Inseong was supposed to be an asshole so Sanghyuk felt better about lying with every word that came out of his mouth. Inseong wasn’t supposed to be this… </span>
  <em>
    <span>this…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Normal,” Sanghyuk mumbled, blinking as he realized he had said that out loud. He moved his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “I mean… yeah… I can’t really- I can’t relate because obviously I’m not famous,” he ranted, pulling his hand back down to his lap, forcing himself to be serious. “But I understand what you mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for dropping that all on you,” Inseong mumbled, looking back down to the ground by his feet. All the birds had left. “I don’t know why I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came over here so you could talk to somebody,” Sanghyuk reminded him, pulling his eyes from the ground back to Inseong. “And I mean… I expected maybe a bad break up or a tough day at work… but being famous sounds terrible now that I really think about it,” Sanghyuk said, laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk… had just made a joke. He had just said something humorous to make someone else laugh for no other reason than to be comical. He could have asked more about Inseong’s life, which is exactly why he was here, and yet he tried to make Inseong laugh instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> laughed. Sanghyuk’s bad sense of humor had made Inseong laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about your band mates?” Sanghyuk found himself asking suddenly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. “My what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, the members of your idol boy band,” Sanghyuk said, cracking a smile as he spoke. “Do they hate being famous, too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound of Inseong laughing and the sight of him tilting his head back to the sky as he smiled made Sanghyuk’s heart beat rise in his chest. His cheeks filled with a tint of pink and his cheeks rose into a smile. What the fuck was wrong with him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, they hate it,” Inseong said as seriously as he could, playing along with Sanghyuk’s stupid joke. “We all hate it. It’s absolutely terrible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it sounds like you all need new jobs then,” Sanghyuk advised with a laugh. “Time to quit being an idol. Stick to stocking supermarket shelves instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, I wish,” Inseong dragged out, sinking into the bench and staring up at the sky through the leaves of the trees that hung above them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s smile dropped as he thought. Jaeyoon had told everyone that it had been both his and Inseong’s decision to reveal the news. But if Inseong hated it so much, why did he ever agree?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you, then?” Sanghyuk asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t I what?” Inseong asked, still staring up at the sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop being famous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong snorted. “It’s not that easy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that hard, either,” Sanghyuk contradicted. “I mean… if you became famous because of a video, change the way you look and stop associating yourself with it. If you’re famous because you’re a CEO’s son, disown yourself and get a new job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so I have to disown myself now?” Inseong asked with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, now you get it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish it was that easy, I really do,” Inseong confessed, sighing. “But sadly, if I try to back out now, all that fame will just turn into hate, and I don’t think I can handle that. I think everybody in the district hating me would be a hundred times worse than everybody in the district wanting my picture.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Had… had Inseong thought about leaving Jaeyoon before? The way he spoke, it sounded like he had seriously thought about the consequences of ending his relationship with Jaeyoon. Maybe they had a fight, and Inseong didn’t want to be saved by him after that? Could Sanghyuk have just seriously misjudged the entire situation? After all, Inseong had a serious point. If he broke up with Jaeyoon now, everybody in the country would be out to get him for hurting ‘their hero.’ He was completely stuck in his situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk mumbled, and he genuinely found himself feeling sorry for the boy. He didn’t have to be in Inseong’s situation to know it sucked, and he didn’t have to know how he felt to know the experience was terrible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Inseong told him with a smile. But Sanghyuk already had a lot to be sorry for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his mouth to attempt another shitty joke, but his voice caught in his throat as Inseong’s phone chimed in his pocket. Inseong pulled it out quickly, eyes falling to the screen as a text message popped up. His eyes fell, and that happy smile he had only minutes ago was long gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to go,” Inseong mumbled, and Sanghyuk could just see the way his personality completely deflated. When Sanghyuk didn’t say anything, Inseong turned to look at him, faking a smile. “You should probably stay off the streets tonight,” he added before pushing himself to his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Sanghyuk asked, looking up at him with confusion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The corner of Inseong’s lips lifted in a sad smile. “I just… Jaeyoon and Dawon are probably going to be out in the streets tonight… so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait. Had Jaeyoon just texted Inseong that? And since when?! Sanghyuk didn’t have any plans!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk made sure to wipe any shock or confusion from his expression immediately as he pushed himself to his feet with Inseong. </span>
  <span>“And you know that… because you’re famous?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded, smiling as he did so. “Hey, by the way,” he began, giving Sanghyuk a genuine soft smile. “Thanks for making me laugh today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You looked like you needed it,” Sanghyuk admitted with a nod. “I’m sure it didn’t really do much for you in the long run, but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, seriously,” Inseong said, lifting his hand to Sanghyuk’s shoulder, patting it in a way that wasn’t awkward, but rather gave a sense of thanks in a way that couldn’t be verbalized. “I think I laughed more in the past five minutes than I have in a while. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… no problem,” Sanghyuk mumbled. What did ‘a while’ mean? Inseong said that as if he had been unhappy for far longer than the two weeks he and Jaeyoon had been public. But that couldn’t be right, right? Even if something was slightly wrong with their relationship, Inseong still had to be at least somewhat happy, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye,” Inseong said quickly, waving as he turned to walk away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling, his feet stuck to the ground as he attempted to move. He couldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What did Inseong mean when he said he hadn’t laughed in a while? Was he really that unhappy? And when he talked about wishing he could just seperate himself from the fame, or in his case: Jaeyoon. Was it really that bad?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong was supposed to be an asshole, but there was just something about him that Sanghyuk felt himself completely drawn to. Why did he have some sudden urge to comfort a boy he barely knew? He didn’t know Inseong, and Inseong certainly didn’t know him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And… Jaeyoon and Dawon were meeting tonight. Right. He had plans with Jaeyoon… apparently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Sanghyuk whispered to himself, looking up from his feet to where Inseong had left from. He was no longer there, and yet Sanghyuk was still just standing there like a dumbass. “Wait, Jaeyoon and Dawon are meeting tonight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee I need my mask!” Sanghyuk announced, throwing the door to the apartment open hard enough to have it bang into the wall behind it. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, which is why Chanhee had one of his shoes stuffed between the door and the wall to prevent the door from slamming into it. There were already enough marks where the door had hit the wall before, they really didn’t need a new one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked at the shoe on the ground before promptly walking into the house, barely looking behind himself as he shut the door with the toe of his shoe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?” Chanhee asked, coming around the corner with a bowl of cereal in his hands and a mouth full of it. His cheeks were stuffed full and his eyes looked innocently at Sanghyuk, like he had just woken up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s six in the afternoon, why are you eating cereal?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his eyebrows at the boy before deciding he really didn’t care as he walked away, question unanswered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And why do you need your mask?” Chanhee asked, following him as he walked over to their room. Chanhee and Sanghyuk had a shared room in their apartment, but it was big enough to fit two beds in, at least. Chanhee pushed open the door Sanghyuk had closed behind himself as he knelt down on the ground, pulling out a clear plastic bin from under his bed. “I thought you were just talking to Inseong. Did it not go well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it went great,” Sanghyuk answered, pulling out one of his masks and tossing it lazily on his bed. “In fact, it went way </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> great,” Sanghyuk added as Chanhee moved another mouth full of cereal into his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t hit you?” Chanhee asked, moving more into the room. “Dammit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, come on,” Sanghyuk whined, looking up to Chanhee with a hurt expression before continuing his search through the bin of clothes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But seriously, why do you need your mask?” he asked again, placing his bowl of cereal on the top of his dresser as he made his way over to Sanghyuk’s bed, grabbing the black turtleneck Sanghyuk had chosen. “This is ripped,” he pointed out, holding it up and sticking his fingers through the rip for Sanghyuk to see.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk groaned, looking from the shirt to his dresser. “Then why is it back in the bin? Can you get the other one?” he asked, waving it off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” Chanhee mumbled, moving over to the big dresser and pulling out an identical black turtleneck. “Maybe you need some new Dawon clothes?” he suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably,” Sanghyuk agreed with a shrug, reaching behind himself without looking. Chanhee scoffed, tossing him the shirt. He caught it without even looking, discarding it onto his bed and pushing the bin back under his bed. “But these will have to work for now,” Sanghyuk said, shifting to his feet and ripping his shirt off. “I don’t exactly have time for a shopping spree.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you at least have time to tell me why you need your mask and your Dawon clothes? I’m a bit concerned,” Chanhee confessed, sounding just plain confused and not at all concerned. His voice was flat and his eyes radiated bland amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you interested about Inseong?” Sanghyuk asked instead, pulling the turtleneck over his head and sliding his arms through the sleeves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, stop right there,” Chanhee interjected, causing Sanghyuk to actually stop in what he was doing to look to Chanhee with raised eyebrows. “Shirt up,” he said, gesturing with his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God you’re such a pervert,” Sanghyuk mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and moving to unbutton his pants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shirt up,” Chanhee repeated, narrowing his eyes at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a bit busy right now!” Sanghyuk pointed out, gesturing to his mask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Playing villain can wait. Shirt up, now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, pulling his hands away from the buttons on his pants to lift his shirt up to completely expose his chest and stomach area. “Happy now?” he asked, looking down to his own body before making eye contact with Chanhee again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re skinny as fuck,” Chanhee mumbled, and Sanghyuk just snorted, pulling his shirt back down and returning to the task of removing his pants. “When’s the last time you ate?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk confessed with a laugh and a shrug. Pulling his legs out of his pants and grabbing the pair crumpled up in a ball on his bed. “I think yesterday? Whatever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to eat more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t mom me. I’m fine,” Sanghyuk assured him, biting the inside of his cheek as he pulled on his black skinny jeans, tucking in the turtleneck and buttoning them. He didn’t have a smile on his face as he turned to the mirror to make sure his outfit looked presentable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not fine if you’re starving,” Chanhee pointed out, walking over to fit himself in the image of the mirror next to Sanghyuk. He placed his hand on Sanghyuk’s shoulder, looking him over in the mirror. “Eat some fucking food.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Chanhee asked, turning to face him instead of just meeting his eyes through a mirror. “You haven’t cooked us a real meal in what feels like months.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I cooked for you two weekends ago,” Sanghyuk reminded him, moving his hand to lightly pat Chanhee’s cheek before swiftly moving around him. “Just admit you miss my cooking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give a shit about your home cooked meals,” Chanhee confessed, grabbing his arm and pulling him to face him fully. “You need to eat. How can you possibly remember the last time you cooked for us, but not the last time you ate? Come on,” he whined, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help but pull his hand away while rolling his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll eat later,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And when’s later?” Chanhee asked, crossing his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, moving over to the end of his bed and grabbing his black boots. He brought them over with him as he moved to sit on the edge of his bed. “When I get home,” he breathed out, sticking his foot in the boot and tightening the laces.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And where are you going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To meet Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? I didn’t know you were meeting Jaeyoon tonight,” Chanhee told him, crossing his arms and waiting for an explanation. Sanghyuk always told him when they were meeting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Neither did I,” he confessed, pulling the laces of the first boot into a perfect bow. “Inseong told me we were meeting tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, I’m sorry </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Inseong knows-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no,” Sanghyuk cut him off, pulling on his other boot. “Inseong doesn’t know who I am, and he doesn’t know I know who he is,” he cleared up. “Jaeyoon texted him and told him he was going to meet me tonight, so Inseong told me to stay off the streets. I would take his advice, I really would, but I think I’ll have other plans soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He hasn’t even called yet?” Chanhee asked, looking over his shoulder to the little black phone sitting complacent on the top of his dresser while Sanghyuk finished tying the laces on his other boot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He popped up to his feet. “He will,” Sanghyuk said with confidence. And like a queue, the small black phone began to ring. Sanghyuk’s face lit up with amusement as he walked around Chanhee, grabbing the phone and immediately pressing it to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, sweetheart,” he said immediately, a cheeky expression on his face as he perked up his voice to sound cheerful and bright. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut the shit, Dawon,” Jaeyoon growled from the other end of the call, causing Sanghyuk’s expression to break out into a fake smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you,” he said cutely, dragging it out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to talk,” Jaeyoon told him sternly. “And stop </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you want to meet with me?” Sanghyuk asked, pretending to be shocked. “Aww, are you setting up a date? I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> when you do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you done?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you bringing flowers? You know my favorites,” Sanghyuk added, smirking to himself as he walked around Chanhee to leave the room. He made his way over to the bathroom, opening the cabinet and grabbing the white hair paint tin. Chanhee followed him, crossing his arms as he leaned against the door frame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have ten minutes. The empty garage five streets over from my house.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How romantic,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his voice dropping to a flat portrayal of disapproval. “Can I have fifteen minutes, please? I’m not even dressed yet,” he lied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want me to wait another five minutes for you?” Jaeyoon asked, and Sanghyuk could actually picture his expression of disbelief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please~” Sanghyuk drew out, dipping his fingers in the container of hair paint as he shoved the phone between his shoulder and ear. He started twisting the white color into his hair quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon sighed from the other end of the call, and Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “Fine. Hurry up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay babe. Love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon ended the call immediately, and the second the phone beeped Sanghyuk sighed, dropping any act he had been holding up. He gestured with his paint covered hand to the phone, and Chanhee quickly took it from his shoulder, closing it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” Sanghyuk said quickly, dipping his fingers in the paint again and making up his hair. Usually he would go through the effort to gel it all back, but he wasn’t feeling the extra effort today, so he just brushed it around to give it a rough look before adding the random streak in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to meet him just because he asks,” Chanhee pointed out, walking back to the room quickly to put the phone back in its place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want him to throw a temper tantrum,” Sanghyuk called into the hallway, spinning the lid back on the container of paint and running his fingers under the water. “He’d probably cry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think he’d just get annoyed at you,” Chanhee said, coming back to stand in the doorway. “He could use a little bit of not getting his way sometimes, y’know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind meeting him,” Sanghyuk decided, turning to Chanhee as he wiped his fingers on the fabric on his pants. He gave the boy a lopsided smile. “Besides, it should be fun. I bet he wants to talk about Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Talk’?” Chanhee asked, his eyebrows raising in a way that asked if Sanghyuk really thought Jaeyoon only wanted to talk. “Please bring some stuff with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Already on it,” Sanghyuk said, walking through the doorway past Chanhee and back to their room. He pulled the bin back out from under his bed with just the toe of his shoe, quickly grabbing the black belt stuffed in the corner. “Smoke bombs, taser, a little bit of acid, anything else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope, just the usual,” Chanhee agreed with a sigh, coming to stand in the doorway again as he crossed his arms across his chest. His eyes didn’t lift up from the floor, and when Sanghyuk looked back at him he could see the way he was biting the inside of his cheek. </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed to himself, grabbing his black backpack and stuffing his mask and regular face mask inside. He quickly zipped it shut and slung it over his shoulder, making his way over to Chanhee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he said softly, dragging Chanhee’s attention from the ground. “I’ll be back in an hour,” he told him, moving his hand to hold his shoulder comfortingly. “Just wait a little bit, and when I get back I’ll cook you kimchi, your favorite.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you to cook tteok-bokki,” Chanhee mumbled, his head falling back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tteok-bokki? Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> favorite.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled at Chanhee’s quiet words, almost laughing to himself as he suddenly had the urge to coo at the younger boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, you’re so cute,” he settled on, moving his hand to the back of Chanhee’s head and bringing it closer to him. He let his lips fall lightly on Chanhee’s forehead before pulling away. “It’ll only be an hour, okay?” he asked, leaning down to meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee pouted, but nodded understandingly at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, little bro,” Sanghyuk mumbled, and he could see the small smile that popped through Chanhee’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One hour, I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m too lazy to check for cops,” Sanghyuk introduced, stepping out into the main area of the empty parking garage, hands stuffed in his pockets. “So you better not have called any. I’ll feel betrayed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The parking garage was barely even lit, shadows of concrete pillars stretching across the cold floor. There were scrapes and marks of tires and stains across the whole thing, but they were barely visible with what little light the moon provided through the open gaps in the concrete walls. But it was spacious, and that was enough to give Sanghyuk a hint that they weren’t just talking tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon stood a little way down the ramp, the toes of his shoes kicking at the dust on the concrete before Sanghyuk had revealed his arrival. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his navy blue Sherlock Holmes-esque jacket, which was clearly not his designer brand usual. He wore black pants and a matching shaded shirt, but his exposed his neck, unlike Sanghyuk’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was shocked, too. Usually, when they met, Jaeyoon would make his hair up to expose his forehead. It gave him a more powerful look, especially if they were in public. Right now, though, his hair was just matted to his head like he had dried it after a shower. His appearance was lazy, if anything, but Sanghyuk’s wasn’t much different. He was hoping Jaeyoon was as tired as he was so they could wrap their meeting up quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t called the cops on you in months,” Jaeyoon reminded him, pulling his hands out of his pockets and crossing his arms across his chest. “And hey, if you didn’t have time to check for cops, then why are you coming from the floor above me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I like to stand above you, it makes me feel like I have the advantage of not having to go up some long ass ramp just to make a confrontation. Why, did you want the high ground?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as he walked only slightly more towards Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give a shit,” Jaeyoon spat, and Sanghyuk rolled his eyes even if Jaeyoon couldn’t see the motion through his mask. How unfair that Jaeyoon didn’t have to wear a mask, but he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon took a step towards him, and Sanghyuk immediately took a step back, careful to keep the perfect distance between them. He held up his hand. “Uh, no. You said you wanted to talk, and you can talk from there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Afraid all of the sudden?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m actually pretty hungry, but the closer you get the more detail I can see in your face and- ew. I think I’m losing my appetite,” Sanghyuk mumbled, looking Jaeyoon up and down in disgust. Jaeyoon was, objectively, really attractive, but it was more his personality that revolted Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon took another step closer to him, and Sanghyuk yelled out an unintelligible noise at him as he jumped back a step. “I said from there!” he yelled out, glaring at the boy even though, still, he couldn’t see it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Stop acting like a little prick,” he growled. “You agreed to meet me here so why are you backing out now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you said you just wanted to talk and I’m not in the mood to fight you right now,” Sanghyuk mumbled. “I have tteok-bokki calling my name, so hurry up, and get it over with quickly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon didn’t give him a chance to process his movement before reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small silver ball that Sanghyuk recognized without hesitation. Jaeyoon tossed it towards him, and Sanghyuk immediately dove out of the way, rolling across the concrete and sliding a small rectangular container, small enough to fit in the palm of his hand, out of his utility belt, pulling the small string out of it with him pinky. He tossed it towards the silver ball, covering his head as the small bomb ruptured behind him with a loud bang and a wave of heat. The second he felt the explosion feed from the oxygen around him, he pushed himself to his knees and continued to run to the nearest pillar. Smoke began to fill the garage from his clip, and he lifted his wrist to his eyes to see the oxygen level in the room written on the screen of his watch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said to stay there!” Sanghyuk screamed, peaking around the pillar at the smoke again before quickly pulling a small pill shaped capsule out from the velcro pocket on his belt. He turned around the pillar quickly and whipped it across the room, sprinting in the opposite direction as it hit the wall away from him and exploded like a pop-rock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you didn’t plan on fighting then why did you prepare?!” Jaeyoon yelled back, his voice lost as an echo in the huge building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t trust assholes like you!” Sanghyuk yelled back, forcing himself behind another pillar. God, he was really not in the mood for this. He lifted his watch to his eyes again. He was further away from the smoke here, and yet his head began to pound. He sighed at the fact that he couldn’t blame it on the chemical inhalation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re out of your element today,” Jaeyoon noted, and Sanghyuk closed his eyes to pinpoint his location in the room but he just couldn’t focus enough. The smoke hissing from the small cartridge and the pounding headache he had inhibited his sense of hearing, not that the huge echo of Jaeyoon’s voice helped either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk held his breath and leaned his head back against the pillar. He didn’t want to be here right now. He didn’t want to fight Jaeyoon. He didn’t want to be Dawon right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something is definitely wrong,” Jaeyoon noted, and Sanghyuk bit his lip to keep himself from making some smartass remark. “Where’s your commentary?!” Jaeyoon called out, and Sanghyuk could hear how significantly louder his voice was. He began to hear his footsteps approach him, and he struggled to look around for an exit. What was he thinking?! Could he even run away from a fight without being called a coward? Of course not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved his hands to pull his backpack off his shoulders, carefully unzipping it and reaching inside. He pulled out his water bottle, opening the cap and quickly spilling it on the ground around his feet. He stepped aside to avoid the splashes as he let the water pool around the pillar. He spread it out, making sure to cover a good area before shoving the empty bottle back in his bag. He pulled out his taser before zipping his bag closed again, hoisting it back on his shoulders and stepping slightly away from the puddle of water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon~” Jaeyoon dragged out tauntingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached his fingers into the pocket of his belt, pulling out another capsule and throwing it against the ground away from the pillar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really? Pop rocks?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eat it, fucker,” Sanghyuk cursed at him, causing Jaeyoon to break out into what sounded like an exhausted laugh. He closed his eyes to listen as his footsteps grew closer and closer. His headache pounded behind his eyes, but he forced the feeling down as much as he could as he forced himself to really focus. Jaeyoon's feet scraped the ground as he walked, one step at a time, until he was standing over the scorched ground from where the capsule had hit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So close,” Sanghyuk mumbled from behind the pillar, just loud enough for him to hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Giving away your position?” Jaeyoon asked, and Sanghyuk listened as his footsteps slowly approached. He was moving around the left side of the pillar, so Sanghyuk moved himself carefully around the right side. They circled the pillar in dense quiet, the hissing of the smoke bomb finally fading out and leaving them in a dense and cloudy room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jaeyoon,” he mumbled, his voice nothing above a whisper, and he heard Jaeyoon’s footsteps stop where he stood: right in the middle of the puddle. Sanghyuk moved around the pillar quickly, grabbing Jaeyoon’s arm and pinning it behind his back as he kicked the back of his knee in, forcing him into the puddle. “Oops,” he mumbled, turning the taser on and quickly dropping it in the water as he launched himself back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tumbled to the ground, failing to catch his own balance as Jaeyoon yelled, his body flinging away from the water with a bolt of electricity. He fell onto his hands and knees as he crawled away from the puddle, before glaring up at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pushing himself to his feet as Jaeyoon did the same. His feet skidded against the ground as he turned a sharp corner, but Jaeyoon just jumped over the railing blocking the turn, landing with a thud and tackling Sanghyuk to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FUCK!” Sanghyuk screamed as he rolled across the ground, easily kicking Jaeyoon with a successful hit before pushing himself up again. He grabbed another smoke bomb from his belt and held it tightly in his hand as Jaeyoon grabbed onto his ankle, pulling him harshly back to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon was on top of him in a second, but Sanghyuk just pulled the pin from the smoke bomb and shoved it in his face. Jaeyoon fell back with a cough of smoke and chemicals, but his grip on Sanghyuk stayed tight. Smoke filled every space around them as Sanghyuk attempted to pull Jaeyoon’s grip from him, but he wouldn’t let go. He coughed out the smoke from his lungs before pulling harshly on Sanghyuk’s arm, causing him to scream out before swinging his free arm back, but Jaeyoon just blocked the hit and pinned him down to the ground, mask in the concrete. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON!” Sanghyuk yelled seriously, genuinely beginning to worry as he attempted to pull his hands free from Jaeyoon’s grasp. He attempted to roll over to throw him off, but Jaeyoon just kicked him in the side, causing him to cough out what little oxygen he had. As the smoke bomb hissed out new smoke, Sanghyuk could hear his watch beginning to beep from where it was pinned against his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oxygen is dropping below 18%,” Sanghyuk coughed out, gasping for breath and maneuvering himself to throw Jaeyoon off. “Jaeyoon get off!” he screamed, rubbing his face against the ground in an attempt to pull his own mask off. Not only did he have his villain mask on, but his regular facemask underneath also restricted his breathing more than the lack of oxygen already did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon coughed from behind him, and Sanghyuk worried he was going to pass out from suffocation before Jaeyoon grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulling him up and dragging him away from the smoke. Sanghyuk couldn’t even fight back, too busy ripping his top mask off and discarding it on the floor behind him. He moved his now free hand to lift the bottom of his regular mask just enough for him to open his mouth and get a breath of fresh air before Jaeyoon threw him down to the ground again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stumbled over his own feet, tripping into the concrete wall behind him and stumbling to the ground. He coughed again, still barely focused on Jaeyoon as he tried to regain his breath, and the vision he had lost with the lack of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ouch,” Sanghyuk managed to breathe out, to which Jaeyoon rolled his eyes, looking away from Sanghyuk in frustration. Sanghyuk sighed, looking up quickly to the spreading cloud of smoke that seemed to grow bigger and bigger every second. “My mistake,” he mumbled, lifting his hands to pull his regular mask up higher. He brushed his hair in front of his eyes to hide them better, hoping he would stay covered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You win this one,” Sanghyuk spoke after a moment, sighing to himself as he surrendered. He was too exposed now to keep pushing his luck, and honestly his headache had worsened significantly since five minutes ago, and he was sure taking one more big fall would make his head explode. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon turned around to face him, shoulders relaxed and expression neutral. Sanghyuk opened his mouth to add something to his statement, but he didn’t get a chance before Jaeyoon clenched his fist and took a swing at Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk yelped as his head swung to the ground. He caught himself from completely falling over by digging his fingers into the ground, and before he could push himself up he coughed, tasting the blood in his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said you win!” Sanghyuk screamed, moving his hand to reach under his mask, only to pull it out covered in speckles of blood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon didn’t waste a single breath explaining himself before kneeling down to Sanghyuk’s height, digging his fingers into the material of his shirt and slamming him against the wall behind himself. Sanghyuk felt his mouth drop open from the shock of the back of his head hitting the concrete wall, and he moved his hands out to stabilize himself, but Jaeyoon just jerked him closer to himself. Sanghyuk’s hands moved instinctively to Jaeyoon’s wrists, but his grip didn’t budge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You win! You win! We’re done!” Sanghyuk yelled, turning his head away as he coughed again, feeling the blood beginning to pool around his tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re not done you prick,” Jaeyoon growled, pulling him as close as he could to his face. “You messed with my man, so no, we’re not done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gave him back!” Sanghyuk yelled defensively, trying to pry Jaeyoon’s hands away from him with no success. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you had just stayed in your place you wouldn’t have had to give him back,” Jaeyoon growled, jerking Sanghyuk again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am in my place! I’m the villain! What are villains supposed to do? Oh yeah, fuck with the hero! Newsflash asshole, that’s you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon barely blinked at Sanghyuk’s outburst before shoving him harshly away from him and into the wall. Sanghyuk stumbled back against it, but he didn’t get much of a chance before Jaeyoon grabbed him again, throwing him even further down the ramp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you just fucking stop?!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, pushing himself away from him and kicking against the ground. He held his hand to his mask again, and this time the blood dripped onto his skin from his hairline. Sanghyuk pushed back again, touching his fingers to his head and pulling them away stained red. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not done yet,” Jaeyoon made clear, walking back over to him and lazily pushing him over. Sanghyuk didn’t have the stamina to keep himself from rolling over into the ground roughly. “Listen here, you shit. Inseong is mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong is Inseong’s. You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> him,” Sanghyuk spat at him, regretting speaking as soon as he did because Jaeyoon only responded by standing up again, kicking his foot into Sanghyuk’s stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong is </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon repeated in a dangerously low voice as he knelt back down to Sanghyuk’s level. “You don’t touch him. You don’t mess with him. You don’t even mention his name, do you understand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off,” Sanghyuk bit at him. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon simply rolled his eyes at the comment this time, and Sanghyuk wanted to kick himself for thinking Jaeyoon actually wouldn’t hit him for that. Jaeyoon moved forward in a fraction of a second, grabbing his hair and pulling at it. Sanghyuk yelled, reaching for Jaeyoon’s hands and kicking at him. His back hit the ground harshly as Jaeyoon dropped his grip, and Sanghyuk couldn’t do much but wheeze out a weak breath at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong is off limits to you,” Jaeyoon stated, lowering himself to his knees again. “Touch him again and I’ll really get rid of you for good.” Jaeyoon’s voice ended in such a threatening whisper, and yet Sanghyuk felt the need to laugh. He choked on his own blood before smiling to himself, laughing up at the ceiling of the parking garage. “What could possibly be so funny to you right now?” Jaeyoon asked in annoyance, pushing himself to his feet and glaring down at Sanghyuk with such irritation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Sanghyuk tried to speak, but had to cough away the blood from his mouth first. He laughed again, finally meeting Jaeyoon’s eyes. “You have every chance right now to pull my mask off, and yet you sit there preaching about getting rid of me as if I’m not the only reason you are where you are today,” Sanghyuk choked out, continuing to laugh</span> as Jaeyoon rolled his eyes. “It really speaks to your nobility as a hero.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved down to Sanghyuk’s level again swiftly, moving his fingers to Sanghyuk’s belt before giving him a sadistic smile. “Have fun realizing you've lost yet again,” Jaeyoon said, looking down to Sanghyuk’s belt again before returning his devilish eyes to him. “But then again… you’re nothing more than a rat, so you should be used to that feeling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon moved away from him without another glance, and with him he took the pin to one of Sanghyuk’s smoke bombs. Sanghyuk’s hands jerked to his belt as Jaeyoon walked away, struggling to find the bomb clipped on his belt through the white smoke that completely engulfed him. His watch began beeping erratically within seconds, and Sanghyuk took one last breath, holding it in his lungs as he finally released the clip from his belt. He gripped it tightly in his hands and threw it as far away from himself as he could, gagging for air as he rolled away from the small cloud of smoke that was already fading away, now congregating over by the smoke bomb across the garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FUCK!” Sanghyuk cursed out, moving his hands to his regular mask and pulling it off forcefully, only to lean forward as a puddle of blood fell from his lips and the inside of his mask to the hard ground below him. He coughed at the ground, not able to hold himself up for another second as he weakly fell back down to the ground, rolling over and gasping for air. His hands laid out by his sides as he finally relaxed his body, wincing in pain as he did. He let his eyes close for a moment, but only for a moment, because no matter how hurt and tired he was, he still had to clean himself up and get home to Chanhee. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Missing Persons Case</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I just want to warn everybody that I talk about some heavy topics here but I talk about them extremely bluntly. So that's just a warning. :D Enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>[May 12, 2013] (In hs), [6 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 18, Taeyang is 16, and Youngkyun is 14]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay but what about fashion?” Taeyang asked, leaning forward to the center of the table for the singular milk they shared between them. “A lot of people are into that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not if it’s not a designer brand,” Youngkyun pointed out, moving his hands to wipe away the chip crumbs from his school uniform. “Besides, fashion is overrated,” he added, pushing himself up from his seat and grabbing the milk from Taeyang’s hands, the straw still stuck in between his lips. Youngkyun sat back down and lifted the bottle to his own, giving Taeyang a cocky smile. “I could walk into a thrift store and have better fashion than half of the people in this country.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So turn your thrift store fashion into a designer brand. Boom! Big business!” Taeyang advertised, lifting his hands in the air to create a big expression out of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I still think construction is better,” Youngkyun replied with a simple shake of his head, placing the milk back down on the table and sliding it over to Taeyang who grabbed it easily, glaring at Youngkyun as he stuck the straw back in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Construction is lame,” Taeyang replied bluntly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not if we get to design and sell the companies. I’m thinking environmentally green construction and oversight of land.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m thinking that’s a lot more work than I want to sign up for,” Taeyang replied without hesitation, causing Youngkyun to almost spit out his food as he tried not to laugh. “Besides, how do you start up a construction company on the bare minimum? Fashion is possible, but construction? That’s a rich family company.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We could find a way,” Youngkyun replied with a pout, grabbing the milk back from Taeyang and sticking the straw in between his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Find a way to what?” a voice came from behind him, a familiar arm wrapping around Youngkyun’s shoulders as the boy took a seat by his side. “What’s up love birds?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Get your own food, Sanghyuk,” he said, swatting the boy’s hand away, which was already reaching for his sandwich. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t!” Sanghyuk whined, throwing a mock temper tantrum before pouting directly at Youngkyun. “I’m broke.” Youngkyun responded by making eye contact with Sanghyuk before picking up his sandwich and biting into it right in front of him. Sanghyuk’s mouth fell open as a look of sad betrayal crossed his face. “Ah, you’re seriously the worst,” he mumbled, looking to Taeyang. “What are you guys talking about? I wanna talk about it too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if we were having a private conversation?” Taeyang asked, lifting up his chin at the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “I can talk about your sex life with you if I need to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We weren’t talking about that,” Youngkyun spoke up by his side, but Sanghyuk ignored him and winked towards Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on! I’m bored!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re needy is what you are,” Youngkyun replied, shoving his sandwich into Sanghyuk’s face without warning. Sanghyuk eagerly grabbed it and began eating like he hadn’t had anything to eat in the last two days. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were talking about starting a business together,” Taeyang spoke up, dragging Sanghyuk’s attention to him for the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two? A business? Yeah okay, I believe in you,” he mumbled through his full mouth and a wall of sarcasm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re serious!” Youngkyun defended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are you both attending business school, then? I hear those are expensive,” Sanghyuk pointed out, but Taeyang just shrugged in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just because we don’t have a wheelbarrow of money right now doesn’t mean it’s not possible,” Youngkyun stated, swatting at Sanghyuk’s shoulders and pulling the sandwich from his hands. Sanghyuk shook his head with an unintelligible noise of displeasure as he snatched it back, but Youngkyun didn’t put up a fight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And where are you gonna get this ‘wheelbarrow of money’ you see in your future?” Sanghyuk asked, scooting away from Youngkyun on the seat so he couldn’t steal </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> sandwich back again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I turn eighteen I’ll get money from my parent’s accounts,” Youngkyun pointed out with a smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stopped chewing at the statement, his body freezing before slowly turning to face Youngkyun. “Kyun, your parents are dead,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun scoffed, shoving Sanghyuk lightly. “Yeah, hence why I’m getting money when I turn eighteen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fucked up,” Sanghyuk mumbled, returning his attention to what little was left of the sandwich. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s fucked up is that my asshole parents tried to put me up for adoption but still left all of their money in my name in case of death. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucked up, but whatever! I benefit from it!” Youngkyun rambled, taking another sip from the almost empty milk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and since I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span> the rightful CEO to my dad’s company, so when I turn eighteen I’m gonna get the rights to it and liquidate it. Same situation as Kyun’s with my father, but I also get the money from his shit company,” Taeyang added, and Youngkyun noticed Sanghyuk’s stare was blank but focused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man, you two are really fucked up,” he mumbled before shoving the last piece of his sandwich in his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang shrugged with a hopeful sigh. “Benefiting from terrible dead parents is a charm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, you guys have fun with your fucked up company built off of the money from your fucked up childhoods,” Sanghyuk cut in, pushing himself up from the table and swinging his bag back around his shoulder. “I need to go to class because if I ditch again the teacher is gonna have my head. Later fuckers,” he finished, waving as he walked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait! Sanghyuk!” Youngkyun called, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before pushing himself up from his seat, running after Sanghyuk. The boy stopped in his tracks, turning around cooly as he ran up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You and Chanhee could do it with us,” Youngkyun breathed out, eyes filled with hope. He was so positive about this all working, it had to. This was the only thing that could give him and Taeyang a future together that didn’t involve working their asses off at minimum wage for the bare minimum. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do what with you? The company?” Sanghyuk asked, blinking with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re not in a good financial state—none of us are,” Youngkyun explained, his eyes shifting down to his hands as he used them to emphasize his words. “But we could really make this work. All of us could. Imagine the four of us running a company together!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a spark in Sanghyuk’s eyes that told him he wanted to, and Youngkyun recognized it as hope for a future, just like him and Taeyang wanted. But there was something bigger holding him back. Something in him cut his voice out and broke that hope to pieces within seconds. Youngkyun knew he wanted the best for Chanhee, so it was hard, at the time, to understand why he didn’t want to—why he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee’s not even in high school yet,” Sanghyuk mumbled, moving his hand to rub nervously at his arm as his voice dropped low, all humor completely gone from it. “We don’t have the money to start a company. We’re not like you guys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to use my parent’s money to help me keep Chanhee fed. I need it for school supplies and to make sure Chanhee always has a ride to school and clean clothes that aren’t ripped or dirty,” Sanghyuk continued, his voice so low it hurt Youngkyun to hear. He wanted to, and Youngkyun could tell. But for him, it just wasn’t a reality, and for so many other reasons than Sanghyuk vocalized.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved his hand to pat Youngkyun’s shoulder comfortingly, a sad smile appearing on his face. “Plus, I graduate this year. You guys still have a few years to go. The timing isn’t right for me. But I seriously hope you guys can actually get a company started. Then I can say I have rich CEO friends,” he added with a laugh. “I have to go to class. Good luck guys!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you too,” Youngkyun told him with a gentle smile as the boy turned around and walked away. Sanghyuk held a lot back in that time, but it was because of it that everything happened the way it did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Present Day</span>
  </em>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cheers,” Taeyang said with a sappy half smile as he clinked his champagne glass against Youngkyun’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cheers,” Youngkyun replied softly with a similar smile before lifting the brim of the cup to his lips and tasting the sour but sweet drink. Him and Taeyang always preferred the more sweet champagne, but with this one there was still a hint of sourness to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy anniversary,” Taeyang whispered, placing his cup down on the coffee table beside the couch they were both seated on. The house lights had been dimmed to a luminescent glow of soft oranges and yellows, perfect for a calm mood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our wedding anniversary isn’t for a while,” Youngkyun reminded him, copying him in placing his own glass down on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But we started dating today,” Taeyang told him. “And that’s still important.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think most people consider the day they started dating an anniversary anymore once they’ve gotten married,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh just strong enough to make his chest rise in a short chuckle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s still important to me,” Taeyang told him, moving his hand to grab Youngkyun’s. It was a habit of Taeyang’s to rub his thumb over the ring on Youngkyun’s ring finger. He had noticed it over the few years they had been married, because anytime Taeyang did it he seemed to zone out in his own mind, content and happy. It really made Youngkyun realize how much he loved and appreciated him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you imagine if we never started dating, though?” Youngkyun asked with a real laugh this time, causing a smile to appear on Taeyang’s face as he remembered exactly how they started dating. “I mean, even how we met was a thing by chance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang lost it at that point, leaning his head down into Youngkyun’s shoulder as he lost all control of himself and started laughing, his voice coming out in high pitched squeaks, which made Youngkyun started losing it immediately after.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” Youngkyun started through his laugh. “Imagine if Byungchul had just accepted being my partner in art class.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t want to because he knew you were gay,” Taeyang tried saying through his laugh, but to be honest it was barely understandable. “Ah, my chest hurts,” he breathed out, closing his smiling lips tightly and raising his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Youngkyun continued with another laugh. “He thought I was gonna try and pull a move on him so he demanded a new partner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still can’t believe I got switched to be your partner instead!” Taeyang announced with a short laugh this time. “I mean, everyone knew you were the gay kid, but I was the closeted gay that never in a million years planned to even approach you, and yet she forced me to be your partner!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Byungchul, you homophobic dickbag,” Youngkyun said sarcastically, causing Taeyang to lose his cool again laughing. “But seriously, you never wanted to talk to me? And yet there you were, three weeks later, asking me out in front of half of the goddamn school because another guy tried to flirt with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a very impulsive decision and I, myself, had no control over anything that happened,” Taeyang stated, crossing his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? So you’re saying you wish you didn’t ask me-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said that,” Taeyang interrupted </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> quickly, moving his hand to hold Youngkyun’s face as he moved forward to press their lips together. It was short and sweet, but Youngkyun loved that about Taeyang. He was short and sweet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled away for a short moment, but only for a second to see Youngkyun’s face again before he leaned forward to press their lips together again. But the moment was ruined the second the front door opened with a slam. Their heads turned to the door quickly, yet neither of them bothered to move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there stood Sanghyuk, his shirt untucked like a heathen because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>clearly</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t put any work into his appearance before coming here. His hair was messed up in every way like Chanhee had taken a blowdryer to it and sprayed it with hairspray it the way it sat, and his skin was covered in glowing red scrapes and white bandages, clearly thanks to Chanhee, but it was obvious Sanghyuk had picked many of them away, annoyed at the sticky tape and cloth covering his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck happened to you?” Taeyang asked in the most unamused voice he could probably conjure up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk narrowed his eyes and gave Taeyang a bitter, lips closed smile. “I got mugged,” he lied. It was clear, to Youngkyun at least, that he had had a rather rough confrontation with Jaeyoon. To be honest, Youngkyun always felt slightly bitter towards Jaeyoon when Sanghyuk showed up at his house like this. Sanghyuk hurt Jaeyoon, too, but never to the extent that Jaeyoon hurt him, especially this time. It usually wasn’t even close to this bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again?” Taeyang asked, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again,” Sanghyuk confirmed, taking three steps into the house and closing the doors loudly with an angry push from his hand. He turned to Youngkyun. “I need help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk needing help was code for him needing emotional counseling that he just didn’t want to lay on Chanhee. Even Taeyang knew that. Youngkyun was basically his self prescribed therapist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now?” Youngkyun asked, completely unimpressed. He looked to Taeyang quickly before looking back to Sanghyuk. “We’re a little busy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can bang any other night of the week. I’m not walking all the way back here tomorrow when I’m here now. So… let’s go. Please,” Sanghyuk finished, making his own way down the hall and into Youngkyun’s office, closing the door behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun inhaled heavily and sighed with the frustration of a gay who just wanted to have a moment alone with his god forsaken husband. He turned to face Taeyang like he would be able to offer him a way out of the situation, but he just shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said please,” Taeyang pointed out, shoulders raised with an innocent stare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun groaned, rolling his eyes all the way to the back of his head before pulling the glass of champagne into his hand, lifting it to his lips and swallowing the whole thing at once. He put the glass back down on the table roughly as he pushed himself to his feet and started making his way down the hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk sparingly,” Youngkyun threatened within seconds of stepping through the door, closing it behind him. “The house is quiet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded to show he understood Youngkyun’s meaning as he gestured for Youngkyun to take a seat at his desk. Youngkyun knew Sanghyuk wanted to talk about Jaeyoon, but the problem was Taeyang being right down the hall. It was a common dilemma, so they had learned to work around it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Youngkyun asked, only moving from his spot by the door to approach Sanghyuk a bit more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not okay,” Sanghyuk told him truthfully, turning to face him. “I just got mugged.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to meet the mugger then,” Youngkyun told him, referring to Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well the mugger called me out to talk. It’s not my fault he couldn’t stick to his goddamn word.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he started it?” Youngkyun asked, and Sanghyuk replied with a wide eyed nod, like it was incredible he was finally catching on. “Then what do you want to talk about so badly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to talk about…. AGH!” Sanghyuk yelled, jerking his head back as he started angrily pacing the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you keep your shit together for a goddamn second?” Youngkyun asked unimpressed as he finally made his way over to his desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, apparently I can’t,” Sanghyuk hissed at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “If you’re going to get pissy with me, get out,” Youngkyun told him strictly, grabbing a stack of papers on his desk and straightening the edges just to have something to do. He paused, looking up to Sanghyuk. “Stop getting angry. Just rant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, deflating into a chair Youngkyun had set up to the side of the room. He cradled his head in his hands, so Youngkyun moved to the top drawer of his desk to pull out some aspirin. He kept the bottle there specifically for Sanghyuk, knowing the poor boy was more than prone to headaches. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee got mad at me again,” Sanghyuk breathed out with a heavy mind, sinking further into the chair. Youngkyun approached him with the two pills in hand, holding them out to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have water in here, sorry,” he said softly, tipping the pills into Sanghyuk’s hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he told him, popping them in his mouth and swallowing them dry. He tipped his head back with a groan, and Youngkyun sighed, feeling bad for the boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why’d he get mad at you?” Youngkyun asked quietly, moving back over to his desk. He let his fingers glide smoothly over the surface as he waited for Sanghyuk to speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed heavily, the sound of his unspoken troubles filling the entire room. “Because I went out to meet </span>
  <em>
    <span>you know who.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You go out to meet him all the time,” Youngkyun reasoned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I promised Chanhee I’d be back in an hour—only an hour. And instead I came back two hours later coughing up my own blood and stumbling over my own feet. He- I mean, he told me he didn’t want me to go and I didn’t listen to him and then I came home like that and I just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t Chanhee used to that by now, though?” Youngkyun asked, taking a seat in the chair behind his desk. He turned it around so the back was facing Sanghyuk so he could push the chair out from behind his desk before turning it back around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He shouldn’t have to be,” Sanghyuk mumbled, closing his eyes tightly and moving forward to hold his head further in his hands. “I told him I would be home in an hour with no problems, so I should have been back in an hour with no problems.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well by the sound of it, I don’t really think you had any part in starting the fight,” Youngkyun told him, looking down to his hands in his lap. Sanghyuk lifted his head up at that statement, but still didn’t make any effort to look at him. The silence between them was stiff and suffocating, and Youngkyun knew his unspoken curiosity was the reason for that. “What happened?” he finally asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jae- I mean…” Sanghyuk started, easily catching himself. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> wouldn’t just talk to me. I tried to get the upper hand and control everything but he just attacked me anyways because he’s a fucking prick,” Sanghyuk ranted, pulling his head back into his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had to be honest; he hated when Jaeyoon did that. This wasn’t the first time it had happened and it definitely wouldn’t be the last, but it still pissed him off, nonetheless. There were times, many times actually, that Sanghyuk just didn’t want to be the one to start the fight. Of course, there were many times he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to start the fights because he felt this chaotic need to. But there were times every now and then that Sanghyuk just needed a break, and Youngkyun knew that. But Jaeyoon took it out of hand anyways. And the worst part of it was that Jaeyoon never came back with as many scrapes and bruises as Sanghyuk did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk would come back from fights bloody and bruised, his head pounding and his body weak, but Jaeyoon still told the public and everyone else that it had been unavoidable. Youngkyun loved Jaeyoon, he really did. Jaeyoon was his friend and always would be. But sometimes Youngkyun had to think he took things a little too far, and maybe even lied sometimes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun would never hold that against him, though. After all, his entire identity revolved around fighting Dawon. Imagine if he told the public he had started the fight Dawon hadn’t wanted to happen. It might ruin that reputation he lived off of, and Youngkyun could understand that. It wasn’t like Jaeyoon had put himself on the news and fought Dawon all those years ago, the news had found him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So yes, Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk’s relationship was a bit odd. Sanghyuk started fights, Jaeyoon started fights, and by some mutual understanding they never got in each other’s way too much. Youngkyun had questioned it at first, because he couldn’t wrap his head around why Jaeyoon didn’t just set a trap for him and ambush him when he had the ability to call him on the phone. But it was how they lived, and without their titles of ‘hero’ and ‘villain’ what would happen to them? So Youngkyun stopped questioning it for the most part, because in some weird way he could understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So that also put Youngkyun’s mind a little more at ease when he began to question exactly how Jaeyoon hadn’t figured out Dawon’s identity yet. In the back of Youngkyun’s mind, he wanted to believe what Jaeyoon meant when he told reporters he was doing his best to catch Dawon, but he also knew that wasn’t entirely true. But even knowing all of that, it just brought Youngkyun’s thoughts into a complete circle, remembering if Jaeyoon caught Dawon, what would happen to him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did he call you and say he wanted to talk?” Youngkyun asked, blinking as Sanghyuk cradled his head in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Sanghyuk spat out, like it had been obvious. Youngkyun just wanted to clarify. “But he really just wanted to kick my ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it about his boyfriend?” Who was Youngkyun kidding? Of course it was about Inseong!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded. “He’s such a prick. He didn’t even act like he was beating the shit out of me to defend the love of his life, it was more like he just wanted to assert that he belonged to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he didn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Listen here you shit, Inseong is mine,’” Sanghyuk quoted in a low voice, shaking his head in his hands with a heavy sigh. “What a prick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey… Sanghyuk… maybe you shouldn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even say it,” Sanghyuk cut him off, finally pulling his head up with a groan, blinking his eyes in the dark office. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” Youngkyun challenged, crossing one of his legs over the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked up to him, giving him a pointed look that challenged him without saying a word. “You were going to tell me to stop seeing his boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe you should!” Youngkyun threw out. “I mean, why is this plan so important? He’s just a boy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A boy who has the ability to help me-” Sanghyuk stopped speaking. It was almost as if his voice caught in his throat to stop him from saying something he didn’t want to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun uncrossed his legs, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his legs. “Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked, avoiding eye contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you suddenly want to stop Jaeyoon from being the hero?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room went silent after Youngkyun whispered that question, and Sanghyuk barely even blinked. It appeared he didn’t have an answer he wanted to give the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t,” Sanghyuk finally said, but Youngkyun didn’t believe him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do,” he challenged, causing Sanghyuk to look him dead in the eyes again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what this is about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what is it about?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head, and again, Sanghyuk went silent. Youngkyun sighed, his eyes falling to the ground below him. “You don’t have to keep lying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not lying,” Sanghyuk denied quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why can’t you give me an answer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I required by law to give you an answer?” Sanghyuk snapped at him, furrowing his eyebrows in frustration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but you can’t give me an answer because you don’t have one and it’s obvious,” Youngkyun snapped right back, only causing Sanghyuk to groan in frustration, pulling his head back into his hands and leaning back in the chair again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just… intrigued by the boy,” Sanghyuk finally mumbled. “I want to know-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What your little hero is hiding so you can, what, exploit it? I know, Sanghyuk. You told me in the car you wanted to spill his secrets to the world,” Youngkyun reminded him. Sanghyuk sighed, his expression twitching in pain as he closed his eyes. Youngkyun reached down for the drawer in his desk for the Advil again. “Do you need more-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need shit,” Sanghyuk spat at him, leaving Youngkyun to close the drawer again with a frustrated sigh. “And so what if I want to expose him? He’s an asshole, he deserves to be exposed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, Kyun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to be the villain anymore?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room fell silent, and Youngkyun could swear he could hear the sound of his ears faintly ringing with how silent the room fell. It was like that for a good moment, enough to give Youngkyun the answer he wanted even if Sanghyuk wouldn’t say it himself. He had said it once before many, many years ago, and Youngkyun knew he would probably never say it again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to go,” Sanghyuk decided quickly, pushing himself up from the chair and making his way over to the door. Youngkyun didn’t make any useless attempt to chase after him, rather he sat back in his seat and watched him pull the door to his office open. His hand froze on the door knob as he stood in the frame of the door, and his whole body slowly turned around to face Youngkyun. “Hey, Kyun,” he called, just to make sure he had his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Youngkyun asked, lifting his eyebrows in amusement, only for his entire expression to contort in confusion as Sanghyuk’s lips lifted in a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy insignificant anniversary.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shifted in the back of the car, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his suit pants. He sighed in a relaxed manner as he held it out in front of him. The home screen opened to a cute picture of him and Taeyang, taken after signing a big business deal. Youngkyun was taking the picture but Taeyang had been too busy laughing next to him to look into the camera. It was cute, and definitely one of Youngkyun’s favorite pictures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swiped the phone open, tapping on the phone icon with his thumb. He found the number easily before bringing the device to his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of what a coincidence,” Taeyang introduced, picking up after only the second ring. “I was just about to call you, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any particular reason?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh, raising his eyebrows to nobody but himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss you,” Taeyang whined, causing Youngkyun to snort, rolling his eyes. He shifted his position to look out the window, watching the buildings go by. “But that’s not actually why I was going to call you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss you too, sometimes,” Youngkyun responded, hearing a scoff from Taeyang’s end of the call. “So what’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you free for lunch?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Free for a lunch </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span> or free for a lunch </span>
  <em>
    <span>meeting</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Whether or not I’m free depends on your answer,” Youngkyun decided, having absolutely no interest in eating lunch over a business deal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking a little of both? Just you and me, but I want to go over the revised contracts with you before I send them out. So like, a work date?” Taeyang suggested. Youngkyun really couldn’t argue with that, as long as he didn’t have to sit at a stuffy table with some business executive who would, eventually, feel like they were intruding on a date, as most of them usually did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m free for lunch,” Youngkyun confessed with a laugh. “I won’t be able to get there until like… one, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a short silence on Taeyang’s end of the call. “Are you working right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun snorted. “Of course I’m working!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, like, I thought you were just in the office doing office things that could wait, I didn’t know you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>working </span>
  </em>
  <span>working.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shifted his eyes to see out the windshield, looking around for familiar landmarks. He recognized the area easily, though, clearly much closer to the site than he thought they were. “I’ll be pulling up to our Euijuro site right now,” Youngkyun told him, relaxing back in the car seat. “The new building for high-end offices that just started construction.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? I didn’t know you were visiting so early. Has construction even started beyond just the foundation, yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The first floor frame should be up, at least,” Youngkyun told him, knowing they had their best workers on the site. The land was bought by an extremely rich family who owned a very high class company, so Youngkyun and Taeyang had worked together to make sure they got the best of the best service. If the first floor frame wasn’t up yet, Youngkyun would have to work out some deals with the managers there, which he was really hoping he wouldn’t have to do. “I’m going in to talk to Daniel, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, tell him I said hi,” Taeyang threw in. Daniel was one of their best managers, always taking construction projects over sighted by Xang because he liked working with them. He got them a shit ton of good reviews, so of course they put him on this project.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was going to anyways,” Youngkyun confessed with a small laugh, shifting his eyes again to look through the windshield, the site coming into view. “It’ll be short, but I need to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun almost dropped the phone away from his ear as his eyes landed on the two cop cars sitting outside the entrance to the site, lights flashing. He leaned forward in his seat to see more as their car pulled up, looking through the entrance to see a third cop car sitting further inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s cops here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said there’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I heard what you said, but why are there cops there?!” Taeyang interrupted him, voice raised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Youngkyun admitted, pulling the door to the car open before it had even stopped moving, pushing himself out. “I need to- Tae, I need you to come here now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m on my-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun ended the call before Taeyang had even finished speaking, shoving his phone lazily in his pocket again and starting a light jog forward into the site. He passed by the first two cop cars as his personal driver called after him, probably scolding him for jumping out of the car like that, but he didn’t care. He started jogging a little faster as he got past the third car, briefly looking in through the window and finding nobody inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off man!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you fucking-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked up to the sound of the faint yells, furrowing his brows when he didn’t immediately see anything. Then he heard them again, half of which sounded like angry screams and others which sounded like cheers. Youngkyun looked around quickly before pinpointing the direction of the yells, running forward quickly. His polished shoes collected dirt as they kicked up clouds of dust behind him, rocks and pebbles flying around with his rushed steps. He moved quickly around a faded and dirty red freight container, his feet stumbling as he came around the edge to see a crowd of workers and a team of cops. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HEY!” Youngkyun yelled, which did nothing but drag the attention of a few eyes. He balled his hands into fists, running quickly into the crowd and pushing his way through the workers, who easily let him through once they realized who he was. He slid through the crowd of people, finally making it into the center to find one of his employees on the ground with three cops on top of him, at least ten other workers trying to pull them off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“EVERYBODY OFF!” Youngkyun screamed, pushing a worker to the side, away from the cop, so he could grab the cops arm to pull him away. The cop looked up to him quickly before lifting his arm, swinging his fist. The crowd gasped as Youngkyun stumbled back from the blow, his lips peeling back in momentary pain as he caught his balance. More employees started screaming, yelling at the cops with every curse they could invent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips quickly before stepping back over to the cop. He grabbed his shoulders with his hands, pulling him up off of his employee before pulling his arm back and swinging his fist at the cop. He kicked his leg out at the cops stomach and sent him back onto the ground. A group of guys grabbed his arms, pulling him back and forcing him to the ground while the other cop finally turned his attention to Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“EVERYBODY FREEZE!” Youngkyun yelled, so much so that his voice rang over the crowd of screaming and yelling people, making its way into the cracks between every person and dragging their attention to him. Youngkyun moved over to the cop that had been tackled to the ground, pushing his employees away from him roughly, but not offering much more help than that. He turned back to his employee who had been tackled to the ground, pushing the cop away from him roughly and glaring at him in a way that challenged him to push back. "</span>
  <span>WE’RE DONE. EVERYBODY STOP!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd mellowed down to a dull whisper, and the only movement that was left in the crowd were the uncomfortable shifts of the employees standing around their buddy, who was kicked and beaten into the dirt. The cops glared holes into Youngkyun, but he glared right back at them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His suit was unbuttoned down the middle now, his hair a mess from getting punched in the face, and he was sure his lip was bleeding now, too. And he looked angry. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> he looked angry, because he felt pissed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you doing here?” Youngkyun asked accusingly towards the cops as soon as the crowd settled down enough for him to talk without needing to scream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the cops scoffed at him, stepping forward with his hands on his belt. “None of your business,” he spat, causing Youngkyun to look down at the ground to his buddy before looking back up to him with nothing but seething anger and annoyance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure about that?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, pretty boy,” the cop challenged, stepping even closer to Youngkyun before grabbing the tie around his neck. A few workers around him stepped forward to cause a scene again, but Youngkyun just lifted his hand, a simple gesture for them to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cops behind the one who had a firm grip on Youngkyun’s tie seemed to realize, in that moment, how much power he had to be able to stop a crowd of angry men with just a wave of his hand, and his expression of anger dropped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get lost,” the cop whispered to him, pulling harshly on his tie. Youngkyun moved his hands quickly, grabbing the cops wrist and pulling it away from his tie, bending it over and backwards until the cop was yelling in pain. He dropped his hand quickly, dusting his hands off on his pants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> get lost,” Youngkyun threatened, looking down in unamusement as the cop stood back up in front of him, teeth bared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And who are you to tell me to get lost?” the cop spat at him, stepping forward. “You the manager? Well control your fucking dogs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell you who I am,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod, stepping in so close to him he could, regretfully, smell the terrible stench of caffeine and a lack of brushing on his breath. “I’m Kim Youngkyun, one of the fucking CEOs. So how about you control yourself and tell me what the hell you’re doing on my property without a warrant?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun really enjoyed the way the cop’s anger dropped from his expression, eyes going wide and mouth dropping open. It was that moment that Youngkyun felt wiping the drop of blood from his lip would add the perfect effect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kim… Kim Youngkyun…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” Youngkyun told him with a nod, taking another step forward. “So let’s see, you’re on my property without permission, you have no warrant, I wasn’t called or informed of anything, you assaulted not only me, but several of my employees, and you can’t even have the decency to report to an authority, rather you choose to abuse your power as a cop and threaten me,” Youngkyun listed off, counting on his fingers all of the things he had to report to the police department after this, which he was most definitely going to do. “So I suggest you start talking </span>
  <em>
    <span>right now</span>
  </em>
  <span> before I report this to the news.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The… the news?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? You think the public will let you three get away with staying as cops if they hear about this? Tsk, I don’t think so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir… Mr. Kim,” one of the cops began, moving forward with an expression of fear across his face as his eyes flickered to his rage-ridden friend. “Please forgive him, he doesn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Him? Excuse me, but it looked like</span>
  <em>
    <span> all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of you were assaulting my employees, and you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> still on my property without a warrant. Don’t single him out when you’re part of the problem. Start talking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cop opened his mouth to speak, but the second he did, Youngkyun decided he was no longer interested. He held his hand up to the cop’s face, silencing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You,” Youngkyun said, turning his attention to one of the random workers behind him. “What happened? I trust you more than these fuckers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The worker quickly stepped forward with a short bow. “They came in asking for Chiwon, our site director,” he explained, but Youngkyun was already familiar with Chiwon. “We lied and told them he wasn’t here, so they let themselves onto the property to go find him. Jitae got in their way,” he explained, looking down to the injured boy on the ground, who now had all of his anger fueled attention on the cops. “So they started beating him up. One of the cops was screaming about his brother or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which one?” Youngkyun asked, following the worker’s point to the cop in front of him, the one who had hit him. “Okay,” Youngkyun said with a nod, turning his attention to that cop. “First you’re going to get on your knees and beg for Jitae’s forgiveness.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” he immediately protested, shaking his head, “I don’t have to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do what I say or get the fuck off my property,” Youngkyun interrupted him, rolling his neck in annoyance. “If you leave now, I’ll get a restraining order against you and every person at this site, I’ll report you and your friends for police misconduct, and I’ll have a lovely little chat with your supervisor. So get on your knees and beg, or leave and deal with the consequences.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd went silent as Youngkyun finished speaking, but he didn’t let his eyes move from the cop’s. He kept a strict glare pointed in his direction, and lifted his eyebrows for him to challenge him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, the cops moved, shifting his weight down on his knees. He placed his hands together, bowing down to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s not sincere. Come on, you beat up a guy for getting in your way without any reason. Say you’re sorry and mean it, asshole,” Youngkyun ordered, placing his hands on his hips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Jitae,” the cop mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you guys hear something?” Jitae asked, looking around the crowd of people behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for hitting you,” the cop confessed louder, looking up to Jitae and rubbing his hands together. “I had no right to do that, and I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jitae lifted his eyes up to Youngkyun, but Youngkyun just shrugged in response. “Your move,” he told the boy, who really couldn’t have been any younger than 20. He had short black hair, trimmed without a care. He had an innocent face though, most likely fresh out of high school and working here to make money for his family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll forgive you when you leave,” Jitae decided, pushing himself up to his feet. “But if you give Youngkyun a hard time anymore I’ll make you get back down on your knees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun lifted his fist to Jitae as the cop nodded, pushing himself to his feet. Jitae bumped his fist, and Youngkyun’s lips lifted up in a small smile at the gesture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, explain to me why you needed to see Chiwon so bad, and don’t even try to defend yourselves,” Youngkyun told them, crossing his arms in front of his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chiwon is the site director here, so we wanted to talk to him about Minjun,” the cop confessed easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who is Minjun?” Youngkyun asked, turning back to the worker he had called on before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minjun is one of the workers here. He’s only 18 and works for Chiwon as a part timer. He brings us all drinks and helps Chiwon organize files,” the guy explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so why do you need to talk about Minjun? Is he a troubled child or something?” Youngkyun asked, turning back to the cops.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No sir, he’s missing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had to admit, he was caught off guard by that one. The cop in front of him tipped his head to the ground as he spoke, hands folded in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s my brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay… Youngkyun was definitely not expecting this issue to be so complex.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This was the last place he was seen, so we came to question people about him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded. “I’m sorry about Minjun, and I hope he turns up soon,” he said sincerely. “But if you want to talk to my employees, you’re going to have to call my secretary and make an appointment with me. I’ll set up a meeting with some of my employees for you, completely supervised because I have no reason to trust you anymore. If you want to question them sooner than that, you can get warrants, which I’ll appeal because you should have gotten them in the first place, and I’m offering to cooperate without them. I expect you and your vehicles to be off this property within the next five minutes, and I also expect a phone call from your supervisor, explaining why you didn’t have warrants in the first place, and why you attacked my employees. So, goodbye. Thank you for wasting my time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, Mr. Kim-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said goodbye, so you should leave,” Youngkyun told them strictly, watching with a firmly held gaze as the group of police officers turned solemnly to make their way back to their cars. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youn- Youngkyun?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned around at the voice, eyes locking on Taeyang as he ran past the cops, almost stumbling over his own feet as he made his way over to the crowd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened? I- HOLY SHIT are you bleeding?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One of the cops punched me,” Youngkyun admitted, lifting his fingers to dab at his lips again nonchalantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he punched them back!” one of the workers called out, giving Youngkyun a cheap smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn right you better have,” Taeyang told him, frowning at his disheveled hair. “You’re a mess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh really? Thanks,” Youngkyun replied with a snort of laughter, turning back to the crowd. “Jitae, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll live,” he admitted with a faked expression of pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go home and rest. Make sure you eat lunch and dinner, and maybe put some ice on. If anything doesn’t feel right, call the hospital and the ambulance ride is on us,” Youngkyun assured him, tapping him lightly on the shoulder to assure him he was completely allowed to go home, and it wasn’t some corporate mind fuck. Youngkyun cared about his employees. “Where’s Chiwon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In his office, still,” someone from the crowd said, but Youngkyun couldn’t pinpoint who. He nodded in thanks to them, gesturing for Taeyang to follow him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that about?” Taeyang asked, quickly walking up to stay by his side as they made their way towards one of the freight cars in the corner of the property. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Apparently one of our employees, a young Minjun, has gone missing, and the cop that swung at me was his brother, so he got all pissy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… we have a missing persons case?” Taeyang asked, wincing as he said it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, thinking about the amount of paperwork that was going to come with the situation. “Yup. We have a missing persons case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[May 30, 2014] (In hs), [5 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 19, Youngkyun is 15]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed as he hooked his hands around the straps of his backpack. It was already dark outside. Had it really taken that long to tutor the kid he was working with? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun stopped walking down the hall to move towards the window, looking out at the sky. It was a perfectly clear night, the stars all twinkling through the dark, doing their best to shine bright despite the light pollution from the city. The tips of his fingers tapped gently on the frame of the window before he pushed away from it with a sigh, continuing his walk down the hallways. He really didn’t want to walk home so late at night. His foster family’s home wasn’t even a good walking distance from the school, but he wasn’t about to wait for a bus this late at night. He could get mugged. Or even worse, what if Dawon attacked him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Would Dawon attack their school one day? The thought made Youngkyun’s skin crawl, his shoulders shaking in a shiver at the thought. Any lights that were on now were dimmed to a dull glow, most of the hallways left drenched in darkness. It was the perfect place for Dawon to attack to get that villain-esc vibe. But then again, why would he attack a school so late at night? Who would even be at the school so late like this? Well… him, for starters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun moved his hands up to his cheeks quickly, slapping them lightly to shake the thought away. He was going to scare himself before he even started the walk home if he kept thinking about getting jumped by some creepy guy in a mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it,” Youngkyun whispered to himself, reaching for the phone in his back pocket. “I’m calling Taeyang.” Taeyang wouldn’t let him walk home this nervous, right? Obviously he was freaking out over nothing, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t talk on the phone to help calm him down a bit, right? And besides, Taeyang would understand how creepy the school was this late at night. Taeyang wouldn’t mind staying on the phone with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun stopped walking as he pulled his phone out to dial the number. His last footstep echoed through the hallway and his thumb hovered over the last digit of the phone number. But Youngkyun couldn’t press it. His body froze, muscles tensing, his body so incredibly still, not making a noise, as he heard the sound of someone crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was losing his mind. Youngkyun was absolutely losing his mind. It was probably just some student having a mental break down, but then again who would be at the school this late at night?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun took a deep breath, trying to focus his hearing on the crying to decide if he was really hearing it or if he was just slowly losing his sanity. But the crying sounded real. It wasn't a child's crying like in every horror movie he could possibly think of, but it was just regular crying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just go home,” Youngkyun urged himself in a low voice, taking another deep breath. “It’s not your problem, just go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to take another step forward, but he felt himself inwardly wince as he did. He sighed, dropping his hand with the phone and shoving the device in his pocket. He breathed out heavily, pulling his hands up and hooking them around the back of his head. He was going to get himself killed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s go investigate the creepy crying,” Youngkyun spoke to himself, nodding with determination and fear. He turned on his heel, moving over to the door closest to him. He pressed his ear to the door first, and it was obvious the crying was coming from inside that room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Youngkyun pressed down on the handle to the door, gently opening it yet cowering behind it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” he called inside, instantly hearing the crying go silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh he was so fucked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed the door open further until it was completely open, the little light from the hallways rushing in to illuminate the room, but barely giving it anymore than a subtle hint of light. He still couldn’t see the back half of the completely dark room since the corners were drenched in darkness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello? Is… is someone in here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ghost was going to kill him now. Whatever creepy thing was in this classroom was totally going to follow him home and kill him in his sleep just because he opened the door oh god he had really fucked himself over this time. This was it, this was how he was going to die. Kim Youngkyun: dead by doing the thing every dumbass white person does in a horror movie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But suddenly all that fear washed away, because he recognized the voice that spoke back at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sang- Sanghyuk?” Youngkyun stuttered, furrowing his eyebrows as he forgot every worry and concern he had as he stepped into the dark classroom. He looked around to his side, not that he could see anything on the walls. “Where are the lights? Are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t turn them on,” Sanghyuk whimpered, and Youngkyun felt pained by the crack he heard in his friend’s voice. Sanghyuk’s throat was clogged up with tears and his voice was cracked and dry with pain. “Please, my eyes hurt,” he added after a moment of silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then where are you? I can’t even see you,” Youngkyun replied, walking a step further into the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to. Just go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving you here to sit and suffer like this,” Youngkyun decided easily, squinting his eyes as he tried to peer into the darkness. “Come on. Either I stay or you come walk home with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just pretend you never found me,” Sanghyuk told him with a sniffle. Youngkyun could hear him shifting from across the room, the soles of his shoes rubbing against the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not gonna happen,” Youngkyun told him without hesitation, squinting in the dark again as he reached into his back pocket for his phone. He moved his hand to the power button, pressing it gently and lighting up the lock screen of the phone. It wasn’t bright, and the flashlight would have been brighter, but it was bright enough for him to point and see around the room, even a tiny bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, and only in the first few seconds of that moment, Youngkyun had wished he had listened to Sanghyuk and walked out. When he finally found Sanghyuk huddled in the corner of the room, knees drawn up to his chest, his breath caught in his throat so badly he thought he was going to choke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sat, curled up in a ball. His eyes glowed red from crying for who knows how many hours, and his cheeks were stained with dry, salty tears. His clothes were all black, and he didn’t even have a backpack with him. A black facemask hung from his right ear, dangling around the side of his face. His hair was gelled up, but it was tossed in every direction like it had been pulled on a thousand times. A familiar white streak stuck out faintly in the front. And on the floor by his feet, sitting like a name tag discarded on the floor, was Dawon’s mask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled, again, his eyes never meeting Youngkyun’s but rather staying completely locked on the mask at his feet. </span>
  <span>“I’m Dawon,” he confessed quietly, and Youngkyun still felt incapable of moving. He felt like he couldn’t speak, or even breathe. “I’m the villain that’s on the news all the time. I’m the one who attacked those people yesterday. It was me,” Sanghyuk sobbed, pulling his knees closer to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a few seconds for the mask to register in Youngkyun’s brain as real, but the second it did, it suddenly didn’t feel so real. Of course, it felt real in the way that it existed, but not in the way that it carried as much meaning as it had before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I hate it,” Sanghyuk continued, choking on his breath as he cried to himself. “I- I never meant for it to come this far and… and everything- it’s all getting out of hand and I- I just- oh god, Kyun please say something,” Sanghyuk begged, finally looking up to meet Youngkyun’s eyes. And that’s all it took to make Youngkyun snap out of whatever trance his mind had been in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, Youngkyun had meant to say something encouraging. He had meant to lean down and give Sanghyuk a hug, but that was not even close to what came out of his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your mask is tacky.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled again, his face flickering in momentary fear and confusion before realizing exactly what Youngkyun had just said to him. “My mask is… what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s tacky,” Youngkyun repeated, bending down to pick it up. Sanghyuk didn’t stop him, in fact he didn’t even flinch at the motion. “I mean, come on, bright red?” he asked, holding it up to his face to show Sanghyuk how absolutely ridiculous it looked. He pulled it away quickly, holding it in his hands carefully as he observed it. “And the mouth is weird.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is the mouth weird?” Sanghyuk asked quietly, almost sounding offended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s a never changing expression and it makes you look psychotic. You should take the mouth off all together,” he ranted, handing the mask back to Sanghyuk. He still didn’t reach out to take it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so… calm?” he finally asked, watching as Youngkyun placed the mask back down by his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there some reason I shouldn’t be calm?” No, of course Youngkyun knew there was every reason he shouldn’t be calm. And yet somehow, he just couldn’t help but feel completely relaxed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just told you I’m Dawon,” Sanghyuk reminded him, maybe thinking he was in some weird form of shock. “I just told you I’m Seoul’s villain and have been for the past two years, and you just criticized my mask! How can you just sit there and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re not scary,” Youngkyun confessed, cutting him off with a shrug. Youngkyun sighed, placing his hands down on the ground so he could move into a sitting position in front of Sanghyuk so he wasn’t crouched down in front of him anymore. “I mean, yeah, I was a little freaked out by Dawon before, who wouldn’t be? But yeah, you’re not that scary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How can you say that when you find out you don’t know your friend as well as you thought you did? I’ve been lying to you this whole time! I’ve done bad things!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun scoffed. “Please, you scare people and steal money and inconvenience political figures. You’re creepy, but you’re not scary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been lying to you!” Sanghyuk reminded him, almost like he wanted Youngkyun to get mad and scream at him or something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you, though?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head. “I mean, did I ever ask if you were Dawon? No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So? I never told you,” Sanghyuk reasoned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, and I never told you I got a boner the first time Taeyang kissed me so I ran away, but that doesn’t mean I lied to you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His story actually made Sanghyuk snort for a second, and Youngkyun could feel his whole soul uplifted by that. He scooted closer to Sanghyuk, the fronts of his legs touching the toes of Sanghyuk’s shoes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never lied to me, and you don’t have to start lying to me now,” Youngkyun told him gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand how you can be so relaxed about this, like I’m just having a normal mental break down,” Sanghyuk mumbled. “I don’t understand why you’re not running away scared out of your mind or running to get the reward money the police are offering.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you think… did you think if I knew, I’d actually be scared of you?” Youngkyun asked carefully, and Sanghyuk’s silence was enough of an answer itself. “Sanghyuk, me knowing you’re Dawon doesn’t change how I think of you, it changes how I think of Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like come on,” he said, grabbing the bright red mask again. “This is so bad. Did you design this yourself? I hope not. Look, why don’t you take the mouth off, and maybe change the color to white to give it a less vibrant, childish look to it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still confused,” Sanghyuk confessed, like he hadn’t listened to a word Youngkyun just said after realizing it didn’t directly help him understand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed. “You’re Dawon, but Dawon isn’t you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it so I can understand,” Sanghyuk begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are who you are, your identity is you,” Youngkyun began to clarify. “I know you as you. You’re Lee Sanghyuk. Chanhee knows you as Lee Sanghyuk. Taeyang knows you as Lee Sanghyuk. I know you as Lee Sanghyuk. Just because I know you like to play ‘dress up and terrorize the city’ in your free time doesn’t mean I look at you and think ‘Dawon’ now. I still look at you and think of you, Sanghyuk. So I’m not scared. Because now I think of Dawon and I kind of want to laugh because I know the boy under the mask is just a soft eighteen year old who wants to protect his younger brother and who steals my sandwiches at lunch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m a villain,” Sanghyuk reminded him through the tears streaming down his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head with a gentle smile. “Not to me, you’re not.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Leave a Mark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING there are heavy mentions of rape in this chapter! No actual description of it it doesn't HAPPEN it's just heavily heavily mentioned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I give it three weeks before you fuck this plan up,” Chanhee bet, lifting his nails in front of him to examine them, one leg crossed over the other.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk scoffed at him, leaning forward over his legs, elbows propped up on his thighs. “Why do you want this plan to go so badly? And it’s not just you, Kyun doesn’t like it either,” Sanghyuk noted, his eyes flickering to his side at Chanhee for a second before returning to stare across the park.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because it’s a bad plan,” Chanhee told him, moving his arms to cross them over his chest. “Nobody likes the plan because it’s weird for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How is it weird for me?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his eyebrows and turning to face Chanhee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you never like your own plans.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean… it’s rare… but-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Sanghyuk, you have never liked one of your own plans. Never. I can’t think of one time in my entire goddamn life you have had an idea that you haven’t doubted,” Chanhee ranted, tilting his head at Sanghyuk as a challenge to think of one moment that contradicted his statement. In all honesty, Sanghyuk couldn’t come up with one. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And my self doubt has led to several fantastic plans,” Sanghyuk finally decided, pushing himself up to lean his back against the back of the bench he and Chanhee sat on. The park had never reached that beautiful autumn point, as if it was skipping right over the dazzling warm colors and crisp glow for dead leaves or fully lush green trees. There was barely any in between. It wasn’t even getting particularly cold yet, and the sun had been out plenty so there was no need for it. Then again, it was like it was only this park that was struggling to make an impression. How sad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, sure,” Chanhee agreed with a shrug. “Which just makes everyone else doubt this plan so much more, because you don’t doubt it,” he added, and Sanghyuk couldn’t really argue with that point. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna fuck it up,” Sanghyuk assured him calmly, having absolutely no way to tell if he actually would or not. “It’s going great so far.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve only met Inseong once so far,” Chanhee reminded him just as Sanghyuk’s eyes found Inseong across the park again. Today he was wearing dark blue wash jeans with white shoes, which, for some reason, had black laces. Sanghyuk found that a bit odd but endearing. He had a light grey hoodie on, his arms and hands hidden under the oversized sleeves. On his head he wore a white baseball cap, and around his face a black face mask. Sanghyuk had to give the boy credit for matching the hat and mask to his shoes, even if it wasn’t intentional. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, and it went great,” Sanghyuk reminded him. “I met him, talked to him, and we left off on a good note. That was way better than anything I expected. So this time it should go well, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I stand my ground. Three weeks,” Chanhee bet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you have no faith in me on this?!” Sanghyuk asked, turning to Chanhee with an offended stare.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you have no patience, and this is the most time consuming plan you have literally ever come up with. Face it Sanghyuk, you suck at waiting… for anything.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You suck,” Sanghyuk mumbled, turning away with a pout. He crossed his arms over his chest, locking his eyes back on Inseong before turning quickly back to Chanhee. “Do you want to go for drinks tonight?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why drinks?” Chanhee asked, lifting an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk leaned in closer to him. “Because it’s been eleven days now since Dawon has done anything, and I would rather get tipsy than come up with another elaborate plan for this week,” he whispered, clicking his tongue in Chanhee’s ear and causing the younger boy to flinch before returning to his spot on the bench.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes. “Fine. But one of us needs to get an actual job if you keep insisting on going out for drinks,” Chanhee pointed out, readjusting his position on the bench.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m busy,” Sanghyuk spoke immediately, turning to face Chanhee. “Have fun getting a job.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee scoffed. “You’re not-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh hey,” Sanghyuk interrupted, pulling his bare wrist up to display the lack of a watch. “Look at the time. Gotta go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bye bye,” he said quickly, standing up from the bench and smiling widely at the younger boy before quickly moving away, following the path and making it seem as if he had been walking the whole time. Inseong was never observant in the first place, so he probably didn’t even know Sanghyuk was sitting there for about ten minutes already, and if he happened to notice, Sanghyuk would just pass it off as him talking to another random stranger in the park. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shoved his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. He wore, with them, a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled midway up his arms, not tucked in for the more carefree look. The shirt featured nothing but different shades of blues and greys, so it wasn’t eye drawing in any sense. He had his hair down but fluffed up with a bit of extra effort for a friendly vibe. He was sure he looked approachable, even though Inseong would already recognize him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As he loosened his shoulders, cracking his neck and lifting his chin up with a relaxed but confident breath of air, he realized Inseong’s attention was completely drawn in the opposite direction. He followed his eyes, landing on a small fishcake stand a little ways down the small dirt path Sanghyuk was currently walking on. There was a sweet looking old man behind the cart, his hair greyed with age. He had a kind smile on his face as he handed a small kid a fishcake twisted around a stick. When his eyes returned to Inseong, he noticed Inseong was still focusing on the fishcake stand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He coughed as he approached Inseong, but he didn’t even hear him. Sanghyuk pouted, stopping in his tracks as he stood beside to bench Inseong sat on, completely zoned out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been staring at that fishcake cart for the past twenty seconds at least,” Sanghyuk observed out loud, dragging Inseong’s attention to him with a small jump of surprise. Sanghyuk gave Inseong a small smile as his expression softened. “I think maybe you’re hungry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Inseong asked, lifting his chin up at him. “And why have you been watching me for the past twenty seconds?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave him a cocky smile. “Because you’re sitting at the exact same bench you sat at… six days ago. I saw you from across the park,” he confessed, inviting himself to take a seat beside the boy. Inseong didn’t protest, in fact he slid over slightly to give Sanghyuk more room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know…” Inseong trailed off, his lips lifting in a small smile at the corners. “Sounds kind of sketchy to me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, damn, you caught me,” Sanghyuk confessed, letting himself laugh a little bit as he folded his hands resting in his lap. “I’m stalking you.” Sanghyuk’s comment made Inseong smile immediately, his teeth popping out through his lips and his eyes crinkling at the corners. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you come to the park every day?” Inseong asked, turning to face him with an inviting smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “Every now and then, just for a breather. Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> come to the park every day?” he asked in return.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong also shrugged. “Sometimes on my break I do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah, that was right. Inseong owned a small cafe right down the street. It was one of the details Sanghyuk had read about him when he had been trying to learn a little more about the boy, and by the sounds of it, his cafe had really good cookies, too. Jaeyoon had referred to them as his favorites, but that was probably biased. Sanghyuk was determined to get to a point with Inseong where he could judge his cookies for himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t know boy band idols got scheduled breaks,” Sanghyuk confessed, barely able to stop himself from smiling at his own joke as Inseong started laughing. “But seriously, aren’t you hungry? I mean, if you’re on break, shouldn’t you eat something? You were eyeing the fishcake cart like you haven’t eaten in a week.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was thinking about it,” Inseong confessed, the smile dropping from his face as he focused on his hands in his lap instead, his fingers dancing together to give himself something else to focus on. “But I think I’ll just eat after work instead.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not answering my question,” Sanghyuk pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to cause a scene,” Inseong confessed quietly. “Remember? Everyone but you recognizes my face lately.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sanghyuk decided quickly, standing up from the bench and making his way over to the cart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, no! No, that’s not what I- hey!” Inseong called after him, running up to his side and grabbing his arm to pull him back towards the bench. Sanghyuk didn’t budge. “What are you doing?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Buying fishcakes,” Sanghyuk confessed. He had a small amount of money in his wallet, and it would definitely be enough for two cheap fishcake sticks. And plus, it would make Inseong happy, which would just make everything easier for him. Nothing but his relationship with Inseong mattered right now, and if food would make Inseong like him more, then he would get Inseong food. But really, Jaeyoon should be the one checking up on him and making sure he was well fed, not Sanghyuk. But whatever, Sanghyuk would take advantage of Jaeyoon’s lack of care for his boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want one,” Inseong denied with wide eyes, shaking his head and pulling on Sanghyuk’s arm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you do,” Sanghyuk retorted quickly, furrowing his eyebrows at the older boy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you trying to buy them then?” Inseong asked, tilting his head as he pleaded with his eyes for Sanghyuk to sit back down. Inseong actually looked terrified for some reason. Was it because he didn’t want to be recognized? Was he really that scared of being noticed? He never appeared that scared before. “You barely even know me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “You’re hungry,” he told him quietly. “I’m not trying to bribe you or anything… I just… I don’t know,” he confessed, turning his head shyly down towards the ground to give Inseong the impression that he was innocent and sweet. Sanghyuk didn’t feel the least bit shy right now, and if it were Chanhee or Youngkyun, or even Taeyang he was with, he would have told them to suck it up and pay for the fishcakes themselves. But he had to use Inseong’s emotions to his advantage.  “You’re a nice guy. I wouldn’t say I’m your friend by any means, I don’t even know your name,” Sanghyuk continued. “But the least I can do is be that person that makes you laugh and makes sure you're fed, because it doesn’t seem like anybody else is.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But why do you care?” Inseong asked, pulling on his arm again. “Please just sit back down.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave Inseong a small laugh. “I mean… it’s more about me feeling like shit if I let you sit there and go hungry,” Sanghyuk tried, attempting not to sound too involved in being in Inseong’s life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna starve,” Inseong assured him, pulling on his arm again. “Just sit down.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll make you a deal,” Sanghyuk began, refusing his instinct to smirk out of mischievousness. Inseong had been begging him this whole time to sit back down, but not once had he called his name. That could only mean one thing… “If you can remember my name, I’ll sit down.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s mouth opened immediately, but nothing came out. His eyes went wide as he froze, the gears in his head turning as he tried to remember Sanghyuk’s name. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t remember the name Sanghyuk had told him only once before. And Sanghyuk was absolutely going to use that against the poor boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think you ever told me,” Inseong tried, only for Sanghyuk to shake his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I definitely did.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This isn’t fair,” Inseong decided with a pout.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Life isn’t fair,” Sanghyuk informed him, smiling at him before walking off to the fishcake cart. He approached the old man with a delighted smile, actually feeling hungry at the sight of the fishcakes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello!” the old man greeted, his eyes darting to Inseong. “Is your friend not hungry?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m buying for the both of us,” Sanghyuk told him, making sure to keep his friendly smile up. “Two please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he returned to Inseong, fishcake sticks in hand, he found the boy sitting on the bench with his arms crossed, pouting. Sanghyuk rolled his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be such a baby,” he said, handing one of the sticks to Inseong.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I didn’t want one,” Inseong told him with a pout.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you lied,” Sanghyuk pointed out, pushing his hand more towards Inseong. The boy looked up at him for only a second before taking the stick from his hands with another pout. The look actually made Sanghyuk laugh, and it wasn’t like a fake laugh he kept up to appear more friendly, he just genuinely thought Inseong’s pout was hilarious. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I pay you back?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head. “Nope.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?” Inseong asked quietly, pulling his mask down and letting it rest under his chin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I think it’s funnier if I don’t let you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” Inseong began, biting into his fishcake, “most people don’t torment strangers, especially ones they know are famous.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I guess now you know that I don’t care,” Sanghyuk pointed out, biting into his own fishcake. “Besides, you being famous doesn’t change anything for me. I don’t give a shit if you’re the president, although I’m like sixty percent sure you’re not the president.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong turned to him with wide eyes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sixty percent?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, holding back a smile. “Something like that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry but do you live under a fucking rock? Please tell me you’re kidding.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if I wasn’t?” Sanghyuk asked, turning to face the boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong stared at him with a deadpan look for a few seconds, and Sanghyuk really had to fight off the urge not to laugh. Finally, Inseong looked away, shaking his head. “Then I would have to be seriously concerned for how you made it through highschool.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know if I made it through highschool or not,” Sanghyuk challenged, biting into his fishcake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please tell me you did,” Inseong begged with a look of sad pity as he turned his whole body towards Sanghyuk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk caved, giving him a smile. “Yeah, I graduated highschool. But how did you know I was old enough to have graduated?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong shrugged. “You look old enough, but don’t take offense to that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So what year are you in?” Sanghyuk joked, knowing full well Inseong was 26 years old, born on July 12, 1993. He pretended to have no idea, though. “Are you in your first year of highschool?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh fuck off,” Inseong mumbled, taking another bite of his fishcake as Sanghyuk started laughing. He was actually amazed, to be honest, with how comfortable Inseong was around him already. He was comfortable enough to swear like that around him and at him. That really made Sanghyuk think, though. Did Inseong not have people like that in his life anymore? Did he not have friends he could just joke around with or people he could just let loose around? What about Jaeyoon? Was Jaeyoon not one of those people for him?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No, Sanghyuk couldn’t pity him now. He was doing this to get Inseong to trust him so Inseong would tell him things about Jaeyoon, and that was it. He hadn’t made a single strategic move this entire time, so he really needed to start. He couldn’t ask about Inseong’s life in depth yet, and he didn’t even want to try bringing up Jaeyoon, but he could test Inseong’s willingness to confess information to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How old are you, though?” Sanghyuk asked, clearing his throat as he turned to Inseong. “If I had to guess, I’d say 23.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m 26,” Inseong confessed without hesitation. Perfect. “And what about you? 23?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“24,” Sanghyuk answered honestly, seeing no reason to lie to him as he bit into his fishcake again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And… is it okay for me to ask for your name again?” Inseong asked, his voice almost cutting into a stutter as he spoke. “Even though I won’t tell you mine,” he added quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, turning to face Inseong fully. “My name is Lee Sanghyuk,” he introduced again, giving Inseong his best gummy smile. “But, hey, if we meet by accident like this a third time, can you at least let me give you a placeholder name?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If we meet a third time, sure,” Inseong agreed with a nod, biting into his treat. “Sorry I didn’t remember your name the first time, Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had just given him his name, so there should have been no reason for his heart to start pounding so ridiculously fast when Inseong used it. It was so weird, though, hearing Inseong use his name like that when he felt so much like Dawon right now. Sure, he was acting like Sanghyuk, but he felt like Dawon at heart, so hearing his name felt like a needle pricking his chest. Sanghyuk cleared his throat with a cough, trying not to appear like Inseong using his name had any effect on him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” he said, forcing a smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But hey,” Inseong began, looking down to his fishcake in his hands before looking back up at Sanghyuk. “I actually hope we meet like this a third time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean he can’t be serious, right?” Sanghyuk asked, the palms of his hands pressed flat against his bangs, as if the pressure on his head would take the stress away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It just doesn’t make any sense. What about me is so appealing that he would want to see me again?” he continued, pulling his hands away from his head but holding them out flat to demonstrate his confusion. He kept his eyes wide, head facing forward towards the windshield. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Like, I thought maybe it would take seven times minimum for him to even want to talk to me, never mind see me again!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“SANGHYUK.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk finally turned around to face Chanhee, who sat in the driver’s seat with wide eyes, expecting at least a tiny bit of cooperation. Sanghyuk wasn’t prepared to give it to him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t it weird, though?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You think everything about Inseong is weird,” Chanhee reminded him with a sigh, falling into the back of the seat, his shoulders deflating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> weird,” Sanghyuk testified. “I mean let’s go over the facts.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He hasn’t been happy lately to the point where he doesn’t have anyone to laugh with, which is just sad,” Sanghyuk continued, despite Chanhee’s grunt of annoyance. “He hates being recognized in public to the point of willing to starve to avoid it, but hey, each to their own.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the issue?” Chanhee asked, turning his head to face Sanghyuk who was very much invested in his own thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And he clings to a complete stranger like he-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He just isn’t what I expected,” Sanghyuk concluded, unbuckling his seat belt without a single signal to Chanhee and pushing his door open. Chanhee stuttered as he moved out of the car, hurrying so he wouldn’t lose him. He fumbled with the keys in his hands as he locked the car, running to catch up with Sanghyuk who was already halfway across the parking lot. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what exactly did you expect, huh?” Chanhee asked, stuffing the car keys into his pockets. “I mean, you hardly know anything about him, there was no way you could have realistically expected anything.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I expected an asshole,” Sanghyuk confessed, pulling the door open and holding it open for Chanhee. Chanhee walked in first and Sanghyuk moved in after him. “I expected to hate every second of interacting with him and having to bite my cheek to keep myself from punching him, but here he is! And he wants to see me again! And we’ve only met twice!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Youngbin,” Chanhee greeted, completely ignoring Sanghyuk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I was talking,” Sanghyuk reminded the boy, lightly tapping the side of his shoulder as Youngbin finished cleaning a glass with a white towel, smiling at the boys and placing it down on the small wrack behind the bar counter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you have been for the past 26 minutes, it was hard to miss,” Chanhee pointed out to him, causing Sanghyuk’s brows to furrow as he wondered when Chanhee had started keeping a timer on how long he ranted for. How often did he usually do that?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been a few weeks,” Youngbin greeted, reaching below the counter to grab a small green colored bottle of sweet carbonated makgeolli wine and a regular bottle of soju. The shafts of the bottles dangled effortlessly between the bartender’s fingers as he placed them down on the counter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached forward for them, but Youngbin’s fingers curled around the bottles, pulling them back towards himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you gonna pay the tab this time?” Youngbin asked, lifting an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll make sure of it,” Chanhee assured him, taking the regular bottle of soju from his hands with a smile. Youngbin turned his attention to Sanghyuk, waiting for an agreement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You always know what I like,” Sanghyuk derailed, sliding his hand across the counter to grab the bottom of the bottle with a sickening smile before sliding it easily out of Youngbin’s weak grip. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s always either soju or makgeolli, it’s not really hard to guess,” Youngbin reminded him, pulling his hands away from the counter with a smile and gesturing for the two of them to take a seat at the bar. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Makgeolli is gross,” Chanhee commented, popping the cap to the soju bottle and gesturing for Youngbin to hand him a shot glass.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tsked at him. “You have the bottle all to yourself and you still need a shot glass? Stop pretending to be classy,” Sanghyuk teased, popping the cap to his makgeolli bottle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee side eyed him as Youngbin slid the shot glass across the counter. “Or you could have some manners and not just drink from the bottle you fucking heathen.” Chanhee grabbed the bottle with a swift motion, pouring it into the shot glass and lifting it to his lips quickly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where did you learn manners from?” Youngbin asked, leaning on the counter towards them as he looked to Chanhee. “Because it definitely wasn’t from him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, we’re here to drink, not to insult me,” Sanghyuk commented, lifting the bottle to his lips before placing it back down on the counter. He lifted his eyes up to Youngbin’s. “How have you been?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? You care?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean I could have just not asked but here I am-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m good!” Youngbin stated quickly, knowing all too well what letting Sanghyuk talk for too long meant. This wasn’t exactly his first time with the two of them. Youngbin lifted his hands up in the air like a surrender before placing them back down on the bar counter. “Life is good right now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Sanghyuk commented, lifting the bottle to his lips again. “I’ll beat someone up if you say it isn’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I don’t doubt that,” Youngbin agreed, tapping the counter once with a smile before moving down to the other people patiently waiting for their drinks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We should come with Kyun and Tae next time,” Chanhee suggested, pouring himself another shot glass of soju.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I came to get drunk specifically because of Inseong, and you want Tae around?” Sanghyuk asked, leaning in closer so he didn’t have to speak so loud.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? I thought you wanted to get drunk to avoid planning anything. Since when did this become about Inseong?” Chanhee asked, giving Sanghyuk a look of raised eyebrows before bringing the shot glass to his lips, tipping the drink back into his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right now. As of now it’s about Inseong,” Sanghyuk decided, tapping his fingers on the surface of the counter as he turned his body completely to face Chanhee. The shot glass in Chanhee’s hand was placed on the counter again with the soft echo of glass clinking against polished wood, and even with the sounds of every other person in the bar having their own conversation, Sanghyuk could hear it ringing in his ears. “I want to move on to the next part of the plan,” he found himself speaking suddenly, shocked that he had actually vocalized it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you think it’s a bit early?” Chanhee asked, tilting his head towards the bar in a small twitch. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, licking his lips. “Maybe,” he admitted. “But honestly, I think the plan becomes less believable if I wait any longer at this point. I already have Inseong’s trust to the point where he’ll honestly tell me his age without hesitation, so there’s no reason the next part of the plan shouldn’t work.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, shaking his head slightly as his fingers moved to dance across the brim of the glass cup. “Hyuk, I-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” Sanghyuk begged, placing his hands on Chanhee’s leg as he leaned towards him, eyes begging for even a pity agreement. “Chanhee, please. I don’t want to just do the plan this whole time with you disagreeing with every move I make. You’re my partner, come on,” he continued, pushing Chanhee’s leg around with a pout. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t like the plan in the first place,” Chanhee reminded him, not making any effort to remove his hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then I’ll stop,” Sanghyuk stated, and he absolutely meant that. If Chanhee really didn’t want him to go through with this plan, he would stop it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No you won’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I will,” Sanghyuk repeated, grabbing his bottle and lifting it to his lips again. He could feel the subtle carbonation of the wine tingle his tongue as he set the bottle back down on the counter. “If you really don’t want me to, I’ll stop seeing Inseong.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought this plan was important to you,” Chanhee recalled, raising an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “It is,” he admitted, grabbing the shot glass from Chanhee with one hand and the bottle of soju with his other, gingerly pouring alcohol into the cup. He placed the bottle back down in front of himself before sliding the cup back over to Chanhee. “But you’re more important to me, and I mean that. So if you really want me to stop, I’ll stop.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee didn’t really respond in any way other than turning back around to face the counter straight on with an empty blink. Sanghyuk wasn’t surprised. After all, it wasn’t often Sanghyuk put himself aside completely when it came to Dawon. Of course, he never failed to remind Chanhee how much he cared for him, but when it came to Dawon he rarely remembered to express how much Chanhee’s opinion mattered to him. It was like every time he had to commit a crime or play his part his mind just raced so fast he forgot. It felt nice to remind Chanhee how much he appreciated him as a partner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> this plan so important to you?” Chanhee asked suddenly, spinning around to face Sanghyuk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of answering, Sanghyuk just lifted the bottle of makgeolli to his lips again, closing his eyes as he savored the sweet carbonation and taste of rice wine. What was he supposed to tell Chanhee? Was he supposed to tell the boy how badly he wanted to expose Jaeyoon so he didn’t have to be Dawon anymore? Was he supposed to tell Chanhee he was tired of always playing the bad guy?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t true, at least Sanghyuk couldn’t force himself to believe it. He got a rush out of being Dawon. It was his life. Taking Dawon away from him would be like ripping a half of him off, like peeling away the skin on only half of his face to reveal nothing but raw, exposed pain. Dawon was a part of him, and deep inside he knew letting that go would be impossible. And yet, he had jumped so quickly on the idea of inserting himself in Inseong’s life to know more about Jaeyoon without even thinking about why he wanted to do it. He had no reason at the time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So maybe the plan was so important to Sanghyuk because he knew, if it went absolutely perfectly, he might actually be able to take down Jaeyoon for good. He might have the ability to ruin his reputation, and with the hero gone, he would never have to play the villain again. But Sanghyuk also felt scared. What if nothing was wrong, and there was really nothing to expose? Did Sanghyuk actually want that to be the case? He couldn’t tell. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If he never had anything to bring down Jaeyoon with, he never had to let go of Dawon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But then again, if he did find something, that could really mean the end for him as Seoul’s villain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not answering me,” Chanhee mumbled, bringing Sanghyuk back from his thoughts immediately. He felt like he had just jumped through space and time itself as he blinked away the cloudy thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have an answer,” Sanghyuk told him simply, lifting the bottle to his lips again. He didn’t bother sipping at the drink this time, but rather he let it fill his mouth completely. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t tell Chanhee he was thinking about ending Dawon. Chanhee, who had spent his entire life with Sanghyuk, who had grown up as his partner. He couldn’t tell him it was all for nothing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip, looking up with interest as Youngbin approached him, thankful for anything to get him out of that conversation with Chanhee, although he was sure he would just be dragged back into it later. But all of Sanghyuk’s self absorbed thoughts disappeared as Youngbin came up to them, veins practically popping out of his skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows as Youngbin’s gaze darted to a group across the room. The men reeked of douchebag. They wore leather jackets with their hair gelled up and hands stuck in their jean pockets. Disgusting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you know them?” Youngbin asked shortly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No? Why would I?” Sanghyuk asked, turning his head again to get a good look at them. He rested his arm on the bar counter as he stared them down. None of them even looked in his direction, but he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was looking their group up and down.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They look like gangsters,” Youngbin whispered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re not mine,” Sanghyuk whispered back, looking back to Youngbin before looking over to the group again. One of the men, a cocky looking son of a bitch with high cheekbones and sleek black hair, smiled at one of his buddies, smirking at them as they did some gross interpretation of a cool high five or whatever. “They’re gross,” he added, turning back to face Youngbin. “At least my boys have dignity.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s the problem with them?” Chanhee asked, grabbing the shaft of his soju bottle just to play with it. Youngbin leaned forward on the counter, arms crossed in front of him but eyes still focused on the group. Sanghyuk leaned forward instinctively, loving the secrecy and drama, while Chanhee most likely only leaned in to hear better. Sanghyuk just loved the dramatic effect.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything,” Youngbin confessed, looking down to the counter in the middle of their group. He moved his hand to tap on the surface. “They came here two nights ago and started a fight with one of the other bartenders, and then again last night. A group of girls kept complaining about them getting too personal, and they’re all too loud.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s obnoxious,” Sanghyuk mumbled, moving his eyes to glance back at them again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you get rid of them?” Youngbin asked, tilting his head. “I’ll pay you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just because Sanghyuk is involved with gangs doesn’t mean he can just get a group of them out of your bar for eternity,” Chanhee commented with a pout, also turning over his shoulder to look at them. “Hey,” he commented quietly, pulling the two boy’s attention to him. “Mr. Personal has a small plastic bag in his coat pocket.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk furrowed his brows, looking to Chanhee. Chanhee didn’t move his eyes from the group though, intently watching them with a calm, neutral expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What does a plastic bag mean?” Youngbin asked, leaning forward onto the counter. “Am I missing something you guys aren’t?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It means he probably has drugs,” Sanghyuk commented, rolling his eyes and lifting the bottle of makgeolli to his lips again. Drugs were drugs, and Sanghyuk really didn’t give a shit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngbin rolled his eyes. “Are you positive? Like positive enough that I can go over there and tell him off?” he asked. Chanhee shrugged, causing Youngbin to roll his eyes again. “I want them out of my fucking bar.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The drugs in the bag are white pills,” Chanhee noted, still watching them. “He just pulled it out like he was showing it off to his friends. Sanghyuk, what drugs are white? It’s definitely not weed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who cares what it is?” Youngbin asked, shaking his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Could be rohypnols,” Sanghyuk suggested, turning his head over his shoulders to get a good look at the boy with the prized bag of goodies. “Maybe MDMA, but more likely rohypnols,” he concluded, turning back around. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell is he doing in my bar with fucking rohypnols?” Youngbin sneered, glaring across the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t it obvious?” Chanhee asked, finally tearing his eyes from the group of delinquents to give his full attention to the small circle the three of them had formed. “He’s gonna spike that girl’s drink. She’s sitting at the bar a few seats down,” he said, gesturing with his chin towards the girl. Youngbin barely moved his head, just averting his eyes to see her, meanwhile Sanghyuk made no effort to be subtle and just turned around completely in his seat to see her before turning back around.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why her?” Sanghyuk asked, invested.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because he’s been eyeing her like candy. How disgusting.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m calling the cops,” Youngbin decided, pushing himself away from the counter. It didn’t take more than a millisecond after for the perfect idea to spark in Sanghyuk’s mind, though. He held himself over the counter, barely missing his bottle of carbonated wine as he grabbed the sleeve of Youngbin’s shirt, holding onto it tightly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if you don’t?” he asked seriously.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Sanghyuk, no!” Chanhee interjected immediately, reaching over the counter and harshly pulling Sanghyuk’s grip off of Youngbin’s shirt before turning strictly to him. “Not here. And in case you have forgotten, we don’t discuss this shit with our bartender.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was obvious Chanhee understood he had some idea related to Dawon and his eyes threatened Sanghyuk, but the problem was there was no real threat behind them. What was Chanhee going to do, turn him in?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something seemed to click in Youngbin’s head in the short moment of silence between the two of them. “Oh no,” he said quickly, putting himself between the two of them but glaring down at Sanghyuk. “Absolutely not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it’s a good idea,” Sanghyuk testified.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care what your idea is, it’s bad. Not in my bar, come on!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It would get those guys out of here for good,” Sanghyuk drew out, shrugging as if he would really drop the idea in his head. He had no plans to, of course.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> shut the fuck up?!” Chanhee begged, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket and pulling on it harshly. “Just let him call the cops!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d rather have the cops in my bar than an asshat in the mask who ends up on the news every other weekend,” Youngbin sneered, threatening him with his eyes alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, wait, wait, hold on,” Chanhee interjected, pushing Sanghyuk away from Youngbin and almost causing him to fall off of the stool he sat on. He did nothing more than glare at the younger boy as he readjusted himself. Chanhee turned to Youngbin. “Do you… do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The question referred to if Youngbin knew Sanghyuk was Dawon, and the answer was yes. Youngbin had known for about a year now… which… Sanghyuk had… neglected to tell Chanhee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngbin turned to Sanghyuk with an accusing expression. “I thought he knew?!” Youngbin hissed. Sanghyuk turned to Chanhee, shoulders scrunching up as he started nervously laughing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk…” Chanhee began, placing his hands down on the counter. “Why does our </span>
  <em>
    <span>bartender</span>
  </em>
  <span> know who you are?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You see… I may have… gotten drunk one night…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god you did not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I kind of maybe told him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Our </span>
  <em>
    <span>bartender?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a mistake I’ll never make again!” Sanghyuk swore immediately, crossing his hand over his heart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And here you are prepared to get completely drunk again!” Chanhee called out at him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But he already knows so there isn’t really anything to worry about!” Sanghyuk defended with a choppy laugh, earning a hard smack on his arm from Chanhee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you two fight after we deal with the current issue in my bar, please?” Youngbin asked, placing his hands gingerly on the top of the counter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes, digging the keys out of his pocket and handing them to Sanghyuk. “Get the ketamine from the car.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry did you just say you have ketamine in your car?” Youngbin asked, blinking at the two of them. “Wait, no I don’t care! Sanghyuk don’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> move.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do I have to get it?!” Sanghyuk complained, ignoring Youngbin and earning a very quick and expected groan from Chanhee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not right now, Hyuk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You drug her, I’ll take her out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell are you two talking about?!” Youngbin whispered hoarsely with wide eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If you bring her outside, then who’s gonna show up in mask for the setup?” Chanhee asked, pulling Sanghyuk’s hands towards him and placing the keys into them. “Go get the ketamine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wear the mask?” Sanghyuk asked suddenly. “Now could be your chance.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk stop arguing and get the ketamine! We’ve done this shit like 20 times before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna!” Sanghyuk complained, pouting. “I hate the setup! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee leaned in close to him. “It was your idea. Go get the fucking ketamine and get everything set up,” he threatened, gesturing for Youngbin to follow Sanghyuk outside.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk groaned, rolling his eyes, but nonetheless he pushed himself out of his seat and moved towards the door of the bar, walking outside into the cool night air. Youngbin followed quickly behind him, his footsteps echoing on the pavement of the parking lot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, but what the hell are you two doing, exactly?!” Youngbin asked, running up to his side as Sanghyuk popped the trunk. For someone who didn’t want him to play Dawon right now, the bartender wasn’t really doing much to stop him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee is gonna tell the girl that douchebag in there spiked her drink when he finally goes over and does it,” Sanghyuk explained, knowing the drill from the several other times they had done this. It didn’t always happen with spiked drinks, but it was the most common factor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, and then what?” Youngbin asked, watching as Sanghyuk pushed a small duffel towards the very back of the trunk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then he’s gonna buy her a new drink, and we’re going to spike that one instead.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’re going to tell her someone spiked her drink so you can spike her drink?” Youngbin asked, wide eyed, and clearly not seeing any logic in the plan. “And why do you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> ketamine in the trunk of your car? What if you got pulled over?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then they would find a lot more illegal shit than just ketamine,” Sanghyuk confessed quietly, pulling a small ziplock baggie of white powder out from a secret compartment under the rug of the trunk before closing it back like it never existed. “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>we</span>
  </em>
  <span> drug her because we know what we’re giving her and how much we’re giving her. We don’t know what that a-hole will put in her drink. Rohypnols are worse than a small dose of ketamine is,” Sanghyuk confessed, closing the trunk of the car. He turned to face Youngbin. “We’ll only give her a light dose of ketamine to make her feel a bit dizzy and nauseous. Chanhee will take her outside to call her a cab, and I’ll play Dawon and jump them and pretend to beat the shit out of Chanhee before knocking her out with a dab of chloroform, which really won’t be needed because the ketamine will help.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How many times have you done this, exactly?” Youngbin asked quietly, quickly following up behind him as he moved back into the bar. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Way too many,” he confessed, pushing the bag of drugs into Youngbin’s hands. He jumped back away from them quickly, dropping the bag on the ground. Sanghyuk stopped, staring down at the bag with a feeling similar to momentary loss of hope for humanity before kneeling down to scoop it up. “Really?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you giving that to me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you’re going to put it in her drink?” Sanghyuk asked back, like it was just automatically assumed. Of course, in the plan when their bartenders didn’t know Sanghyuk’s identity, Sanghyuk would slip the drug in after ordering the drink for himself. But since Youngbin knew about the plan, this way was much easier and much less work. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not touching that shit,” Youngbin told him strictly. Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, but Youngbin just shook his head. “I’m not drugging someone’s drink.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you feel better if I do it while you watch so you can hand her the drink?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head before moving towards the door back inside.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really have to drug her?” Youngbin whined, coming back up to his side. “This is ridiculous!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “Hello? Read the name on the card,” he told him, reaching into the pocket of his jacket to pull out a small circle, complete with the trademark symbol Dawon left at all of his sites of trouble. The simple ‘D’ popped off the pristine white plastic, telling Youngbin everything he needed to know about if Sanghyuk felt bad morally about doing this. The answer was a hard no. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk walked back into the bar without another glance back at Youngbin, trusting that he would follow. Chanhee was already talking to the girl when he walked in, arm propped up on the counter, but his body positioned in a way that showed he had absolutely no romantic interest in her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngbin walked back behind the bar counter quickly. Sanghyuk noticed immediately that Chanhee was already talking to the girl, gesturing to the drink by her side. Sanghyuk nodded to himself, taking his original seat back at the bar.  Within seconds, Chanhee was waving Youngbin down, his actor face on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, bartender? Can she please have a fresh bokbunja? Thank you,” he requested, and it was obvious Youngbin felt nervous as he gave Chanhee a nod, moving around the bar to get the ingredients for the blackberry wine. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk leaned over the counter in an interested fashion. “Lemme see, lemme see, lemme see,” he begged, leaning over the counter as he unzipped the bag of powder. Youngbin slid the empty glass towards him, looking away the second he did. Sanghyuk moved quickly, tipping the bag over the cup to add some powder in. It wasn’t an exact measurement, but it was something a little over 50 mg, which was a small dose of the drug and perfectly fine to add to a cheap wine. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stuffed the bag back up his sleeve when he was done, leaning back into his seat while Youngbin began mixing the drink in the drugged cup. He stuck a small black straw in the drink once it was made, stirring it around to mix the contents of the drug in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god it’s almost like you’ve done this before,” Sanghyuk commented under his breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Youngbin hissed at him, lifting his eyes to lock him down. “Only this one time, got it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir,” Sanghyuk agreed, nodding as Youngbin moved to bring the drink over to the girl. She thanked him with a bright smile, sipping the drink quickly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate you,” Youngbin commented, coming back over to him as Chanhee stayed with the girl, continuing to talk to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hate me or love me, at least she’ll be safe tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hear about you kidnapping random people all the time, dropping them off in random locations and leaving videos with them. Is this why you do that shit?” Youngbin asked, leaning forward on the counter so he didn’t have to shout across the bar counter about the amount of times Sanghyuk had kidnapped people.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “Most of the time. Either that or someone pisses me off and I want to fuck with them. Depends on the day, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a boring wait for the drug to start to kick in. Sanghyuk waited, rather impatiently he might add, while Chanhee made every attempt to keep a conversation with the girl while they both waited for the ketamine to start taking effect. Finally, after what felt like forever, the girl admitted she wasn’t feeling very well. From there it was perfectly on script. Chanhee suggested maybe she had taken a sip of the prior drink without realizing it, and immediately offered to call her a taxi. He walked her outside, Sanghyuk already outside and waiting. He had a cheap black shirt on now, gloves tucked neatly over his fingers and mask snug around his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee never actually called for the taxi. It would be one very embarrassing confrontation if he had, though, and Sanghyuk was interested to see a taxi driver’s reaction to the whole scenario. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snuck up behind them. He came from around the corner of the bar, quickly grabbing onto the material of Chanhee’s shirt and throwing him into the wall, giving more control of the movement to Chanhee by not actually hurtling him into a wall for real. He made a quick movement after that, grasping the rag in his hand, which was just barely laced with chloroform, and pressing it to her mouth. She had just enough time to see his mask, and that was all that really mattered. If she never remembered it come tomorrow, fine, but if she did, they were covered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He motioned to Chanhee, who was still on the ground wiping dirt off of his outfit, to help move her to the car. He did so easily, grabbing her legs while Sanghyuk grabbed her shoulders. They moved her silently, laying her gently down in the back seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee got in the driver’s seat afterwards, sticking the keys in the ignition and igniting the car with a gentle hum. Sanghyuk quickly pulled off his mask, laying it down on the center console carefully before grabbing a small hand held video camera from the dashboard and turning it on. He turned around in his seat as Chanhee began driving, keeping the camera aimed at the girl. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Most of the drive was silent, and it wasn’t because Sanghyuk felt like he couldn’t talk when he had one of Dawon’s victims in the backseat, or even because of the camera considering it didn’t record volume anyways. It was just a silent, exhausted ride. They were both exhausted, and it was obvious.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had to wonder when Chanhee became so exhausted with things like this, and if he really was tired of it to the point where he wanted to stop. Sanghyuk really wished he had the power to read Chanhee’s mind right now because he refused to ask him anything about how he was feeling. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, his head tilting a bit as he stared out at the dark road in front of him. And suddenly, hearing Chanhee so tired like that, Sanghyuk actually felt the need to apologize.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re important to me too, you know,” Chanhee admitted in a quiet mumble, cutting him off without even showing he heard he was speaking in the first place. Sanghyuk closed his mouth as he continued holding the camera steady. “Don’t ever think you’re not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Sanghyuk admitted, and he really meant it. Chanhee didn’t have to say it. He knew. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee pulled the car over to the side of the road by the girl’s housing complex, the address which they had gotten from digging through her purse. Sanghyuk would not lie and admit he stole the three unnecessary packs of gum in the girl’s purse for the sole reason that he wanted them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had to carry her up the stairs by himself while Chanhee followed behind him with the camera. Of course, he had his mask on. He used the girl’s keys to get into her house, Chanhee following him inside. He put the girl down gently on her couch with a groan, causing Chanhee to snort, trying not to shake the camera. She wasn’t exactly light. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk also made sure to, while on camera, make himself at home by grabbing a strawberry milk from her fridge and a pad of paper and a pen. Chanhee walked up to his side while he uncapped the pen, writing in big capital letters: I DON’T LIKE BEING ACCUSED OF RAPE.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They left the camera card with the video on it with the piece of paper on the counter, the only evidence of what really happened to that girl .</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[November 13, 2015], [4 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 21, Chanhee is 16]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to pull his hair out of his scalp, and he really felt like he was. He had his fingers dug into the roots of his hair, leaving it stuck out in every possible direction. The grip he held on it pulled his eyes back so they were left dry and stinging, his own mind forgetting to remind him how to blink, or that blinking was even important.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we can fix this!” Chanhee suggested, pacing back and forth across the dirty apartment room. He held his hands out in the air, like he was throwing the idea out into the wind. It was an empty idea with no actual content to it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fix this? Chanhee, how can we fix this?! The news just told the entire fucking world I raped that girl!” Sanghyuk pointed out, not even flinching from his position. He knew kidnapping that girl had been a bad idea. Of course, it was a combined idea between Chanhee and himself. It was innocent, too! Someone had drugged her drink and was following her around the bar. They drugged her instead to get her home safely. Sanghyuk hadn’t even been thinking about the consequences of the plan until she was already unconscious in the backseat of their car, but at that point it was too late. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> told the whole-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I know!” Sanghyuk yelled, interrupting Chanhee as he brought the palms of his hands down to rub over his eyes, as if that could make the excruciating pounding suddenly disappear. “I know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> said I raped her, despite being unconscious the entire time. She doesn’t know shit that happened. She’s a fucking liar.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, well why don’t you just go on the news and tell that to the world then?” Chanhee suggested in a sarcastic voice, sighing before dragging his hands over his face. “It’s fine. There has to be some way to fix this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No matter what I say nobody will believe me and she already has the entire country against me, this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>bullshit</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk screamed, standing up from his chair and kicking it as hard as he could. The chair fell to the ground and slid across the floor with a horrendous bang as Sanghyuk gritted his teeth together. “I’m a villain, but I’m not a fucking monster,” he reminded Chanhee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well now the entire country thinks you’re a monster,” Chanhee pointed out in a quiet voice, back straight as he watched Sanghyuk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But I’m… not,” Sanghyuk trailed off, hands pulling away from his face as an idea started fitting together in his mind like mismatched puzzle pieces that didn’t even have an image to make until now. “I mean… me reacting badly would make it worse, right? I mean… a villain is supposed to have some sort of charm to them, that’s how it works,” Sanghyuk rambled, placing the pieces in order. An image started coming together in his mind as he spoke. It was on the tip of his tongue.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay? So?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So let’s get my charm back.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re being called a rapist. How exactly do you want to get your charm back?” Chanhee deadpanned, hands falling to his hips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“When a political figure fucks up hilariously, what do more people talk about, the mistake or the humor?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… the humor,” Chanhee admitted. “It makes it more of a topic.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So let’s make it more of a topic.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But what if other people end up criminalized because of this?” Sanghyuk asked, fingers curling nervously around the container of black spray paint in his hands. “I mean, what if it backfires? What if-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is a good plan,” Chanhee assured him, stepping away from the tripod he had just finished setting up. It stood pointed at a clean brick wall, the ground in front of it pristine even in the dark. The only light now was the light from the spotlights Chanhee had managed to somehow get. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it could have the wrong effect,” Sanghyuk admitted. “There’s a difference between how I want it to go and how it could go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then keep your hopes up that it’ll go how you want it to go, and it will,” he encouraged, picking up his own can of spray paint. He stepped to the side of the tripod, out of it’s view, as he pulled up his face mask to cover his mouth completely. He moved his free hand to flatten down his bangs in front of his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what about me speaking? Dawon doesn’t speak,” he reminded him, as if Chanhee could forget. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve spoken before on the news once before,” Chanhee reminded him in return with a shrug. “The news didn’t stop talking about that for almost five months. If you want to make an impact,” he continued, placing his hands lightly on the camera’s record button, “You have to do something that’ll leave a mark.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His fingers moved slightly, bending at the knuckles, and the red light on the camera blinked on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, knowing now it was too late to turn back. He picked up his mask, tugging the small black band around the back of his head and securing the mask neatly on his face, adjusting the position of it as he walked out into the view of the camera. He dropped his hands, fingers secure around the body of the spray paint can, as Chanhee began walking up behind him. He lifted his hand to the wall, and without hesitating he pressed down on the nozzle. Black spray paint started spewing from the can instantly, covering the pristine bricks in speckles and splatters of horrible spelling paint. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk began designing the first letter of his message, keeping his lines perfectly smooth as he blocked out the letter. His body moved with his hand as he wrote, his eyes focusing intently on the fresh paint stains and the design of his letter. The perfect ‘D’.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While he moved onto the next letter, Chanhee began covering a huge area of the brick wall in an underlayer of bright red. He waved his arm back and forth across the wall, leaving a huge block of red paint that looked like it had been painted on by a huge paint roller. He kept the color solid, not letting the faded red and white of the bricks peep through. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Sanghyuk to finish the letter ‘N’, just as Chanhee was finishing the red stain he was creating. When Sanghyuk was done, he snapped his fingers by his side. Chanhee responded to the sound immediately, switching places with him. Sanghyuk moved over to the red block on the wall, quickly writing out a huge, messy letter ‘G’ while Chanhee began writing the word ‘is’ in all lowercase letters, all in bright red paint. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee stepped back before he did, tossing his can of spray paint to the ground hard enough for it to bounce off the pavement and fly out of frame as he walked in the opposite direction. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk added the last touch to the letter ‘Y’. He stepped back for a second, just long enough for the picture to be displayed on camera. In vibrant spray paint, the message: “DAWON is GAY” across a public brick wall on the edge of Seoul. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk copied Chanhee in a sense, discarding his paint can to his side as he walked toward the camera. It was much calmer, simply bouncing on the pavement and rolling to its final point of rest on the ground beneath the message.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t like being accused of rape,” he spoke easily, letting the words fly away from his lips without hesitation or doubts. He didn’t let himself stutter or overthink it as much as he wanted to. He just let himself say it. And within the next few seconds, the camera was off. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I Know Who You Are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Should I go with an oversized hoodie? With like… maybe a jean jacket over it?” Sanghyuk asked, holding up his faded plain grey hoodie in one hand and his jean jacket in the other. Neither were hung on hangers, so it was hard to tell how the outfit would look when he just held them by the collars. Also, Sanghyuk had asked the question to Chanhee while facing a mirror, which he was sure was just as useless to the boy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s warm out today,” Chanhee reminded him, crossing his legs where he sat on his bed. His back was propped up against the wall over a pile of pillows, most of which he had stolen from Sanghyuk’s bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So? I’d look cozy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’d look sweaty after about ten minutes,” Chanhee argued, causing Sanghyuk to pout and drop both items of clothing to his bed, adding to the growing pile. “Honestly, I don’t get what the big deal is. You dressed normal every other time you met Inseong.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But this time I have to look </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk argued, moving over to his drawers of clothes again. “I need to look approachable, but not like a strawberry soft boy. But I can’t look edgy, like not even slightly. Like, I feel like having too much arm exposed is too intimidating.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes. “Sanghyuk, just wear a striped black and white tee over light blue wash jeans, who cares?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tucked in?” Sanghyuk asked, grabbing the exact shirt the boy was talking about. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Chanhee decided, shaking his head in the mirror. Sanghyuk nodded, grabbing the jeans. “And you should add a dark grey bucket hat. That would be cute.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, you’re right,” Sanghyuk agreed, grabbing his hat from the post of his bed frame. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And cuff your jeans.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Obviously,” Sanghyuk agreed, adding the hat to the neat pile of final clothes he had chosen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, putting his phone down and pushing himself to sit forward on the bed. He looked Sanghyuk over, eyes finally landing on his face. Sanghyuk half expected some sly comment about how terrible his plan was again, despite Chanhee agreeing to it, but the boy just lifted the corners of his lips. “Do you want me to do your makeup?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes please!” Sanghyuk agreed with a jump and a happy clap, dashing over to the bathroom quickly while a laughing Chanhee followed behind him. Chanhee didn’t have much makeup, but he had the basics and was much better at it than Sanghyuk was. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ended up sitting on the toilet lid in the bathroom while Chanhee sat on a bar stool he had dragged in from the kitchen. He dabbed at his face with the beauty blender gently, sweeping brushes over his cheeks and eyelids gently. He tapped his brushes on the corners of the eye shadow pallets to send a cloud of colorful powder drifting to the ground before bringing it subtly across his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And your hair,” Chanhee added, placing his fingers on Sanghyuk’s jaw to gently turn his face away from the mirror he had begun turning towards. Sanghyuk didn’t argue as Chanhee began straightening his hair, fluffing it up on the top with his fingers and a happy smile. He didn’t have to part his hair at all thanks to the length, but he made sure to keep it fluffy and cute in the front. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He only got to look in the mirror when he was dressed. His striped shirt hung loosely around his torso, bunching up towards the bottom in waves of fabric. He had a small black belt through the loops of his pants, not that the shirt even allowed it to be seen. On his feet, white converse with just as white socks. He had his bucket hat sitting cutely on the top of his head, his fluffy but straight hair peeking under the rim of it in a cute way. His makeup was subtle, very earthly colors complementing his eyelids. His lips had just a tint of pink on them. To be honest, Sanghyuk looked plain adorable. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have never seen you so happy to look so… cute before,” Chanhee commented, stepping back from his work with a thoughtful nod as Sanghyuk turned around in the mirror. “You look like a real flower boy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned to Chanhee, a wide smile displayed on his lips. “Doesn’t it suit me well?” he asked, lifting his finger to poke cutely at his cheek.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee couldn’t help but snort at the action, causing Sanghyuk to drop his hand with a lopsided smile, feeling his cheek puff out from the embarrassment, but the happiness that at least Chanhee was laughing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready to go, then?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee smiled at him. “Let’s go flower boy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air outside was nice, and Sanghyuk felt like he could be healthy forever if he just always breathed that same air. It filled his lungs in a way that made it seem like he had never truly had a breath of air in his life before. He closed his eyes for a few seconds as he walked, Chanhee by his side ready to guide him in case he walked into anybody’s way. To be honest, Sanghyuk was shocked there weren’t more people out walking around today. It was the perfect weather for it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Sanghyuk,” Chanhee called. Sanghyuk blinked himself out of his trance, looking over to his side. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“When’s the last time you had a headache?” he asked innocently.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know… the last time I went to see Kyun, I think,” Sanghyuk admitted, nodding as he remembered going to see the boy after Chanhee had yelled at him for getting himself hurt. “The day after I met with Jaeyoon,” he clarified for the younger boy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So… nine days ago,” Chanhee counted in his head. “That’s pretty good for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s been little ones in between,” he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. “But nothing too bad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s try to keep it that way, okay?” Chanhee asked, as if Sanghyuk really had any control over it. But he smiled nonetheless, reaching over to pat Chanhee’s shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re almost there,” Sanghyuk pointed out, being able to see the small cafe down the street. He looked down to his outfit one more time to check that it was still perfect before looking up to Chanhee with a gummy smile. “Thanks for doing my makeup.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s cute,” Chanhee commented. “And plus, I doubt you’ll ever let me do it like this again.” Sanghyuk nodded in agreement before Chanhee stepped back, nodding towards the cafe. “I’m visiting Tae today for lunch, remember. But I’ll be home after.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have fun,” Sanghyuk wished him, smiling as he lifted his hand to wave to the boy. “Bye bye.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee snorted at the image, mumbling ‘flower boy’ under his breath with a smile before turning and walking away. Sanghyuk lifted his lips in a smile one more time before turning his attention to the cafe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I got this,” he told himself, shaking his arms out by his sides. “Acting face on.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk dropped his smile quickly, shaking his head a bit, and dug the heel of his shoes into the ground. He pulled his hands by his side and quickly took off running. The soles of his shoes hit the ground with loud claps as he ran, pushing quick breathes out of his lips in an attempt to make it seem like he had run further than he really had. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the door to the cafe open quickly when he got to it, swinging it open with a strong pull and throwing himself inside. Sanghyuk didn’t waste a second looking around him and observing the other people he didn’t care about, rather he jogged right up to the front counter, placing his hands down on the surface strongly and with a pant of breath. He lifted his head in a goofy smile, finding Inseong’s shocked expression looking back at him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know who you are,” Sanghyuk spoke softly, air still trying to fill his lungs again. Half of the act was fake, though, because it wasn’t like he had ran some incredible distance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong still stood frozen behind the counter, a tray of cookie dough in his hands. It looked like chocolate chip.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, noticing Inseong wasn’t going to speak until he explained a little beyond the one sentence he had said. “I mean- I was… I was with my brother,” Sanghyuk began to explain, lying obviously. “And he showed me a picture of you… I guess he knew who you were. And he said you worked here so…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s head tipped down at his words, lips nervously stretching into a thin line. “Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was all he said. That was the only thing he said. And after saying that one syllable, he moved away, over to the over behind the counter so he could swap batches of cookies. He pulled the freshly baked batch out as Sanghyuk moved over to the small counter top. There were only three seats at it, small stools built into the ground behind a counter that faced the kitchen. Sanghyuk made himself right at home, hoping into the middle stool and pushing himself up on his arms, watching Inseong. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“‘Oh’?” he teased, calling to him from where he sat. “That’s it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really have anything else to say,” Inseong admitted with a shrug, grabbing a spatula and pulling the cookies off of the tray and onto a cooling rack. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How about ‘Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Inseong’?” Sanghyuk asked, making sure to use the boys name. Although, after using it, he wasn’t so sure he made the right move. Inseong flinched when he said it, hesitating for only a second before returning to his work. He didn’t respond, rather, it seemed like he was ignoring Sanghyuk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Did he make the wrong move? Inseong was supposed to talk to him now. They were supposed to talk about things and get used to each other’s names now. Inseong wasn’t supposed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>ignore </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sanghyuk. This wasn’t going how he wanted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Or I mean-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” Inseong asked suddenly, dropping his attention from anything else in the cafe to lean on the counter with the palms of his hands. His eyes met Sanghyuk’s, and to be honest he didn’t look happy. Why wasn’t he happy to see him? Inseong had said it himself, that he wanted to see him again. Was Sanghyuk wrong?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I just-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you know who I am now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“To be honest I came more on impulse… and because the website said you made really good cookies,” Sanghyuk mumbled, hanging onto his last string as he tried to loop Inseong into his plan. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The… website?” Inseong asked, lifting an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My brother said you worked at a cafe, so we looked up the address so I could come here. The website said you had the best cookies around. I… wanted to try one.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong sighed, pushing away from the counter as someone approached the register. Sanghyuk almost reached over to pull him back. Why couldn’t someone else handle the register? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked around the kitchen quickly as Inseong handled the customers, but that was when he froze in his seat. There was nobody else there. Every part of the small kitchen was visible because after all, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> just a tiny corner store cafe. But there was not a single other person working behind the counter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned around in his seat to look behind him, eyes falling on the room full of girls behind him. There were barely any guys in the room, just girls who kept their eyes flickering to Inseong behind the counter. Almost every seat in the cafe was full, voices filling every crack of the wall in happy chatter. But not one employee walked between the tables. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned back around to look at the kitchen, and then over to Inseong. Inseong was walking back over to him before he could fully register in his head anything he was thinking. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, I-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you work here all alone?” Sanghyuk asked, giving Inseong a look of disbelief as he tilted his head. He wasn’t sure why he had to interrupt Inseong to ask that, because after all he was trying to get Inseong to talk to him. But the cafe was full, and Inseong didn’t have a single person helping him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong sighed, placing his hands on the counter again. “Can you leave?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was not expecting that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… uhm. I just-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m busy,” Inseong explained, dropping his eyes to the counter. “I need to work, and you knowing who I am now and looking at me like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> is not helping.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… wait. How am I looking at you?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows in slight offense. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Like you don’t want to take your eyes off of me. It’s disgusting.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, to be honest, I came here to see you so there’s no reason for me to look at anyone else,” Sanghyuk reasoned, shrugging his shoulders. Why was he defending himself now? He should be trying to appeal to Inseong, not making things worse. This was considered worse. This was not how he wanted anything to go. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you going to leave or not?” Inseong asked. He should just leave. He could come back another time. It would just be better if he left now. If he left and didn’t bother Inseong he would still have a chance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong sighed as Sanghyuk straightened his back. Why was he doing that? Why couldn’t he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> being so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I came here to try your cookies,” Sanghyuk decided, crossing his arms in front of him on the counter. “So… I want to try them. Do you usually kick your customers out?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I give you cookies will you leave?” Inseong asked, leaning forward a bit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I not allowed to eat here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to slap himself. Could he not control himself for one fucking second? This was a disaster! Sanghyuk was supposed to be the sweet friend to Inseong but he was fucking everything up right now by talking back to him like this. Sanghyuk didn’t need to eat here. It was making everything worse. He should just leave!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong left Sanghyuk immediately, heading to the register with the fakest smile Sanghyuk had ever seen, greeting the customer. Sanghyuk couldn’t help but roll his eyes, looking over to the kitchen. His eyes landed on the timer above the lower oven, mouth dropping.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Inseong, Inseong!” he called out, eyes not leaving the oven. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ignore him,” Inseong told the customer quickly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your oven timer!” he called out, but Inseong just ignored him, like he was blocking his voice out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, wincing as he got up from his seat, running over to the register and jogging right past Inseong. He moved behind the counter quickly, Inseong’s fingers brushing his arm as maybe he tried to grab him, but Sanghyuk moved away from him quickly. He slid Inseong’s oven mitts on quickly, opening the oven and pulling out the tray of macaroons. They still looked good, thank god. Sanghyuk closed the oven quickly, placing the tray on a cooling rack and pulling the cooling cookies out of the way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing?!” Inseong asked, running up to him and grabbing his arm roughly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Saving your macaroons since you would rather ignore me than listen to me when I told you the timer was going off,” Sanghyuk sassed, fighting the urge to bite his own lip as he spoke. He turned to Inseong quickly. His plan was ruined now. He had crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed, and if he wanted this to still work he would have to meet Inseong later. He was done here, now. “Do you want me to leave?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong blinked at him, his lips slightly parted but otherwise not moving. He didn’t look nearly as upset as he had before, and if anything he just looked conflicted now. “No,” he decided quickly, moving away. Sanghyuk almost nodded and started making his way over to the door before blinking in shock, wide eyes following Inseong. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong came back quickly with an apron, throwing it around Sanghyuk’s head. “I’ll pay you for the day,” he explained quickly, spinning Sanghyuk around and tying the knot at the back of the apron in less than a second, spinning him back around with a firm grip on his shoulders. Sanghyuk was too shocked about everything happening to resist it. “Just… the cafe is busy. Please keep… just keep doing what you’re doing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh… okay,” Sanghyuk agreed with a nod, watching Inseong turn back to the register. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk… was in Inseong’s cafe. Sanghyuk was wearing an apron right now… working at Inseong’s cafe. He had to blink to remind himself that he was really there, standing frozen behind the counter. He had not meant for that to happen. In fact, Sanghyuk was so sure his plan had failed that he had been about to leave. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was his last chance. Sanghyuk couldn’t fuck it up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips quickly, taking his bucket hat off and placing it around the corner behind the kitchen quickly, on a hook with extra aprons. He moved back over to the cookies quickly, looking over the counter to see how they were arranged before nodding to himself, using small tongs to add the warm cookies to the cookies displayed in the small glass viewing window. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You need more of the… the yellow macaroons,” Sanghyuk told Inseong, looking through the display window quickly before moving up to the tray of pink macaroons he had just pulled out of the oven. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have time to mix the batter right now, I’ll just-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then give me the recipe and I’ll do it,” Sanghyuk said quickly, turning to face Inseong. “You said you wanted me to work. Tell me what you need me to do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong looked hesitant for a second, opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally moving over to the back of the kitchen, pulling out a book full of recipes. He pushed the book in Sanghyuk’s hands quickly, and he didn’t hesitate to take it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just… do your best.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled at Inseong quickly with a nod before placing the book on the counter. He flipped to the recipe for the macaroons he needed, tapping the page and quickly moving to grab everything he needed. He didn’t make any attempts to change the recipe, despite having some ideas of his own. He made it exactly how the recipe said, filling the empty oven with the new tray before moving over to check the display case again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was how a lot of Sanghyuk’s day went. As it went on, he started to wonder how Inseong did everything without any help. Of course, when Inseong wasn’t helping a customer, he was immediately back in the kitchen putting something else together.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong hadn’t really said much to him, despite the two of them working in the same cafe for five hours straight. The crowd ended up calming down after lunch, thankfully, so Sanghyuk didn’t feel the need to rush his cooking so much. Despite the pressure to be absolutely perfect, however, Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to frost the cakes and wrap cookies up with perfect presentation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few times, he caught Inseong looking at him from the register, but he tried to pay no mind to it. He wanted to show Inseong he could do it well. He wasn’t exactly sure why, though, because his plan had absolutely nothing to do with baking and decorating cakes, and yet he wanted to do the best job he possibly could.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong flipped the sign to ‘closed’ on the door of the cafe at 6:23 pm while Sanghyuk was cleaning the last pan in the sink by hand. He hadn’t been able to fit it in the washer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The cafe fell silent, the radio already turned off. Sanghyuk didn’t mind though; he just focused on cleaning the pan. He couldn’t hear Inseong moving, but he knew the boy was still standing by the door without even looking over. He tried his best not to.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s still a ton of cookies and macaroons left,” Inseong mumbled, walking over to the counter with quiet steps. Sanghyuk placed the pan on a towel by the sink, quickly wiping it dry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that mean you usually sell out by the end of the day?” Sanghyuk asked, finally turning around to face the older boy now that he had nothing else to keep himself busy. Inseong was standing in front of the counter, fingers running across the surface. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where did you learn to bake?” Inseong asked, ignoring his question. His eyes lifted to Sanghyuk's as he readjusted how he leaned against the counter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, moving over to the counter to stand in front of Inseong. “My little brother has a sweet tooth, so I always baked for him when we were little.” Sanghyuk wasn’t exactly sure why he was being so honest with Inseong right now. He hadn’t ever intended to tell Inseong anything about himself, but to be honest, he didn’t mind sharing the detail. “It felt kind of nice baking again. I haven’t made anything sweet for him in a long time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take the extras, then,” Inseong told him quickly, moving around the counter and pushing Sanghyuk out of the way with a light pressure on his arm. He grabbed the biggest box he had, one for cakes and pies, and knelt down to the inside of the display window. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Inseong, no, that’s okay,” Sanghyuk interrupted, shaking his head as Inseong grabbed every extra cookie and macaroon he could fit into the box. He placed the box on top of the counter when he was done, sliding it toward him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take them, they’ll just get thrown out anyways.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you want me to take them so badly?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as he looked down to the box. It really was completely filled with treats. Of course, Chanhee would be ecstatic, so that would be a plus. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just… because,” Inseong trailed off, untying the knot of his apron quickly and moving over to the hook to hang it up. Sanghyuk followed him a moment after, pulling his off and replacing his hat on the hook with the apron. He placed the hat back on his head softly, having forgotten it was even there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk found himself saying, and the weirder part was that he found himself actually meaning it. “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have just come here earlier and called you out like that. I mean… it’s not like I didn’t know you hate being recognized.” He was an idiot. Why did he think this part of his plan was a good idea? Everything he had just said was true, and he knew it. That part of his plan was stupid, and if he had doubted it like he had with all of his other plans, maybe he would have realized that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong shrugged. “It’s better than you pretending you don’t know and meeting me again anyways,” he said before turning to Sanghyuk, lifting his hand up. “Nice to meet you, I’m Inseong.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt himself genuinely smiling at the gesture, his heart swelling in his chest as Inseong quoted his quick line from earlier. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lifted his hand to meet Inseong’s quickly, his lean fingers wrapping around his hand with a warm touch. “Nice to meet you… Inseong.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did it… bother you when you found out?” Inseong asked, dropping his hand. Sanghyuk did the same.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “What? You being a famous hero’s boyfriend? Why in the world would I be bothered by that? If anything I feel sorry that you have so much drama in your life because of it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong smiled at his words, tipping his head down to the ground. “So what’s your backstory then? Huh? You know mine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know more than that,” Sanghyuk admitted with a shrug, lying. “But here, you fill me in more on your life, and maybe I’ll tell you about mine,” he bargained. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Inseong agreed, pushing himself onto the counter and sitting comfortably on it. Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to copy him. “I work here all by myself because everybody else quit,” Inseong admitted, folding his hands in his lap. “Once people started showing up here asking for pictures and autographs, everyone said they couldn’t handle it and left. I can’t really hire anyone else because everyone that applies just wants to be famous, or just wants to work with me in some grand scheme to get closer to Jaeyoon. I don’t know… it’s just hard to trust anyone enough to work with them. So I work completely by myself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Did Inseong really have it that bad? Fame was rough, of course, but Inseong had to do this every day? He had to deal with this amount of trust issues just because of his boyfriend?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why doesn’t Jaeyoon help you?” Sanghyuk asked in a quiet voice with a pout. “He should.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want him to,” Inseong said quickly, shaking his head. “This is my place, not his.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I like your place,” Sanghyuk admitted, patting the counter. “It’s cozy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your turn,” Inseong said quickly, snapping his head around to face him. “I barely know anything about you. Tell me something.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk honestly could have told him anything. He could have talked about Chanhee. He could have talked about knowing Taeyang and Youngkyun. He could have talked about his hobbies. He could have </span>
  <em>
    <span>lied</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But something in him just didn’t want to. Something about Inseong made him want to be genuine. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He cleared his throat. “When I was seventeen… the media came after me believing I was Dawon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes went wide as he watched him, and Sanghyuk really felt his voice get caught in his throat as he said it. He had never even talked about this with Youngkyun before, and certainly not Taeyang. They knew, of course, but Sanghyuk never brought it up. So why was he bringing it up now?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It had almost been two years since Dawon became a thing, and people started accusing me of being him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Inseong asked, leaning forward.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because my… my dad was… uhm. He was framed for attempting to kill Jaeyoon’s father.” Inseong went silent, and Sanghyuk didn’t blame him. “Yeah… it happened when I was nine, I think. I don’t know. I just remember knowing it wasn’t him. They gave him the death sentence… they killed him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So a lot of people assumed it was me. I guess… they finally realized there was someone with a motive to hate Jaeyoon’s family? I don’t know. I let that go a long time ago.” Sanghyuk wasn’t lying. He had let it go. His grudge was against Jaeyoon for who he was, not his family. Although, it had certainly started out that way. After all, Sanghyuk never would have become Dawon if he didn’t hold a special hatred for the Lee family deep down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You..”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So they blamed me for being Dawon until he committed a crime while I was being questioned by police for the tenth day in a row,” Sanghyuk continued, remembering how he had sent Chanhee out in his mask. It was the one and only time he ever wore that mask, and Sanghyuk never let him take that roll again. He had teased at it so many times, but in reality he hated seeing Chanhee wear that mask. Chanhee wasn’t Dawon, and Sanghyuk didn’t want him anywhere close to adopting the identity. Sanghyuk had that burden. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I had no idea,” Inseong mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk just shrugged. “How would you? I don’t ever talk about it. But I mean… I just thought you should know, since it explains why I never keep up with that kind of news anymore,” he said, doing his best to tie the two subjects together with a twisty tie and a lie. “Also… to show I understand how bad being famous for the wrong reasons can be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to work here with me?” Inseong asked suddenly, leaning forward eagerly. Sanghyuk’s eyes went wide at Inseong’s question. Work with him? Like… every day?! “The cafe is only open four days a week,” he explained, moving his hand to rub the back of his neck. “And it closes pretty early. There’s plenty of people that come here during that small time to make everything work, and I don’t know I mean I didn’t even ask you if you already have a job, which you probably do, but it’s just that-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have a job,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling. He wanted to stop himself, to pull himself back and tell himself to cut it out. But maybe, just maybe, Sanghyuk hadn’t gotten this far completely on lies and fake smiles. After all, Sanghyuk wouldn’t be sitting with Inseong now if he hadn’t acted as himself earlier. Maybe being himself in front of Inseong wasn’t the worst thing in the entire world. He turned to face Inseong, holding his chin up. “I would… love… to work here with you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s lips turned up in a smile. “Really?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really,” Sanghyuk agreed with a nod. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s lips exposed his teeth in a smile, Inseong’s demeanor crashing in a wave of visible happiness. “I-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And then his phone rang. Of course his phone rang.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And Inseong’s smile dropped a hint as he grabbed it, and he answered it without hesitation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t hear what the hero was saying on the other end of the call, and he tried to make it seem like he wasn’t paying attention. He turned his head away like it was privacy, but he couldn’t help but notice the look of stress that completely took over the happy smile that had been there not even seconds ago. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. I’ll… head home, then,” he finished, not saying anything else before ending the call. He turned to Sanghyuk. “Jaeyoon wants me home. You shouldn’t stay out too late either.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cocked an eyebrow as Inseong pushed himself off of the counter. Sanghyuk followed. Jaeyoon didn’t control Inseong, so he felt kind of revolted by the obligation Inseong felt to do what his boyfriend asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Any reason? It’s not even that late.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong turned to Sanghyuk with a heavy expression. “I guess Dawon just set off a bomb at Wonhyo Bridge. So…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait,” Sanghyuk interrupted him, grabbing onto Inseong’s arm. “Dawon… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon</span>
  </em>
  <span> set off a bomb?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But… but Sanghyuk never set off a bomb. Sanghyuk had been right here the whole time with Inseong. He hadn’t left the cafe in hours… there was no way he could have done that. Dawon couldn’t have done it. Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> do it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey… hey Sanghyuk, are you okay?” Inseong asked, grabbing onto his shoulder. Sanghyuk looked up to Inseong quickly, his eyes snapping up to him in worry. He could feel his heart beat beginning to race in his chest as his fingers curled into the material of Inseong’s shirt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dawon didn’t do it. He didn’t do it. Why was Inseong saying he did? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Sanghyuk!” Inseong called out, shaking him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My friend does construction work on Wonhyo Bridge,” he lied quickly, pushing the words out easily between his lips and retracting himself from Inseong quickly. “I have to go,” he mumbled to himself, rushing over to the door. He turned around quickly. “I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow. Sorry. Get home safely!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The second Sanghyuk was out of the cafe he began running, hands clenched by his side as he started moving in a full blown sprint. His hat flew off his head as he ran but he didn’t care. He couldn’t be bothered to even notice its lack of presence as he pushed himself forward faster and faster. His feet slammed against the pavement as he ran, and he could feel his lungs beginning to burn in his chest after a while. His head began pounding with violent rushes of pain, but he tried to push them to the back of his thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He made it to his apartment with little to no air left in his lungs, throwing open the door so hard it slammed into the wall behind it. He moved inside quickly, gasping for breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“CHANHEE?!” he called out with every ounce of stamina he had left. He looked around the house quickly, but it was completely empty. He called out for his brother again anyways, but got nothing in return but the echo of his own worn out voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My… my phone,” he mumbled to himself, scratching at his arms as he ran to his room and grabbed his phone. He hadn’t taken it with him earlier, now regretting it as he opened the phone to 48 missed calls and 203 texts from Chanhee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He opened it quickly, dialing Chanhee’s number and waiting as it rang. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the phone to his ear impatiently, nibbling on his lip as he began pacing back and forth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“SANGHYUK?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee what’s going on?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where the hell have you been?! I’ve been calling you for hours!” Chanhee screamed into the phone, voice hoarse and scratched. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” Sanghyuk mumbled, taking in a deep breath as his lungs struggled to find the air themselves. “I just- I heard-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t you, right?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it wasn’t me,” Sanghyuk pushed out, shaking his head as he started pacing faster across the room. His fingers twitched by his side, seeking anything to grab onto. “It wasn’t- Chanhee I don’t know who it was but it wasn’t me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well your symbol is there on the bridge so everyone thinks it’s you,” Chanhee told him, a loud crash and a series of screams coming from Chanhee’s end of the line. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee where are you?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you need to get to Ahnyeon-Dong right now,” Chanhee told him hurriedly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahnyeon-Dong? But… but what about Wonhyo Bridge?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk… something happened with Youngkyun and Taeyang.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was all Sanghyuk needed to hear to drop everything. He pocketed his phone quickly without even saying goodbye, bolting out the door and starting in another sprint for Ahnyeon-Dong. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could feel his own heart and lungs burning in his chest as he ran, his skin speckled with sweat as he gasped for air.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dark sky loomed over him, stars beginning to peek out behind the sparse clouds that decorated it. Some of them began to blur together as Sanghyuk choked on his own lack of air, and they tumbled around in a blur of spirals when Sanghyuk became too dizzy to run straight, tripping over his own feet and falling to the ground. He hadn’t even realized he was down until the world stopped spinning around him. His head pounded viciously as he hugged himself to the ground, wincing at the pain building behind his head as he tried to suck in any amount of air. If he could just get the oxygen to his brain maybe it would go away. Maybe it would just-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“FUCK!” Sanghyuk screamed, moving his hands to hold his head as the pain pushed against his head like a damn about to crack to pieces. He curled up on the ground, holding his head tightly like the pressure would take the pain away, but it didn’t. He closed his eyes tightly, every muscle in his body tensing. “Please stop,” he whispered, wincing. “Please, please, please,” he begged. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, sir, so you-” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Sanghyuk screamed at the person, pushing himself to a sitting position quickly, but easily feeling sick from the movement. The stranger in front of him moved away quickly, but to Sanghyuk it looked like they were walking in every possible direction at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He banged his hand against the ground to ground himself, but it did little to help when even looking up at the street lights around him sent him into another wave of pain and intoxicating dizziness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to get to Chanhee,” Sanghyuk reminded himself, forcing himself gently up to his feet and squinting his eyes to see in front of him. “So please… please stop. Not now. Not now, please not now,” he continued to beg to himself out loud, forcing himself to walk forward. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His head throbbed terribly as he started to push himself to run again, but he couldn’t find his balance long enough to run more than ten feet before he was falling to the ground again, tumbling over his own head with a scream of pain. He hugged his arms to his head as tears began pouring over the brim of his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“PLEASE STOP!” he screamed out, digging his nails into his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gritted his teeth together as the pain burned into his skull, throbbing behind his eyes and completely engulfing him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please… please, please, please,” he kept begging, but begging never did anything for him. It wasn’t helping now, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t push himself up to run. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled his phone out of his pocket quickly, head pounding terribly. He dialed the number without even looking at his screen, pulling it to his ears as he rolled over on the ground with a groan of pain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the phone away from his ear quickly, the loud sound ringing through his entire head as his eyes throbbed in pain. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee I can’t make it,” he cried into the call, hugging the phone close to him. “I can’t… I can’t make it. Chanhee it- it hurts. It hurts please just make it stop, make it stop please, please,” he found himself sobbing, holding the phone so tightly in his hand that his fingers began to ache from the pressure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are you?! Hyuk, where are you? I’m coming.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk cried, sucking in a breath of air as he continued to cry. He tried to say something else, but the only thing that came out was a wince of pain as his body lurched forward, the harsh movement bringing a whole new wave of unbearably growing pressure in his head. “I don’t know!” he screamed into the phone, wincing at the sound of his own voice. His ears felt like they were blowing up on the sides of his head and he couldn’t even tell if Chanhee was talking to him or not. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please just make it stop,” he whispered to himself, tears streaming down his cheeks as he dropped the phone onto the pavement, holding his head tightly in his hands. “Please, please, please. I just want it to stop. Just make it stop.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Treason</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked worriedly from the flashing police cars and lights to Chanhee, who held his phone to his ear with wide eyes, his lips slightly parted. He turned to face Youngkyun without changing his expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I think Sanghyuk is having another migraine. It sounds really bad I-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Go get him,” Youngkyun encouraged him, body filling with worry although he tried to mask it with an encouraging smile. “Tae and I will be fine, okay? Go find Hyuk.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded, his eyes looking distant and tired as he started walking backwards, pulling the phone to his ear again as he started a light jog away from the unfinished building. It was another one of Xang’s sites, but it didn’t really feel like one right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun pulled his arms around himself in the cool night air as he looked around, eyes floating over the crowd of people. It was a mess. Everything was a mess.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His attention was brought back to reality as he saw Taeyang jogging up to him, suit wrinkled and tossed in every way, a few of the buttons buttoned wrong, and the tie completely missing. His hair was a mess, and his expression was one of complete worry and stress. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who is it?!” Youngkyun asked, moving forward and grabbing onto Taeyang’s jacket as he came up to him. Taeyang was quick to catch him, as if he needed help standing up on his own. He wasn’t even sure anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang sighed. “Park Minjun.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s…” Youngkyun couldn’t even finish the sentence, his hand flying to his mouth as he looked across the property through the police cars, all with their flashing lights on and cops standing around them. Crowds of people built up on the streets and workers gathered around behind strips of yellow police tape. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Taeyang mumbled, moving his hand to Youngkyun’s shoulder to pull him close. “They found Minjun.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head as he buried his nose in Taeyang’s shoulder, burying himself. “He was just missing,” Youngkyun mumbled, eyes lifting over Taeyang’s shoulder to look into the dark distance. The red and blue lights reflected off of Taeyang’s suit in a way that made Youngkyun’s stomach twist, and Youngkyun felt his breath hitching in his throat. “Taeyang he was only an 18 year old boy-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” Taeyang coaxed quietly, pulling him closer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun blinked up at the lights behind him. “How did he end up like this? How did he end up dead?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you! I’m sorry I was gone for six hours but I didn’t know any of this was going to happen!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t just leave for hours at a time like that when shit is like this!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit has always been like this! Nothing has ever changed, Chanhee!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed the front door open with a groan, annoyed that he could already hear the screams from outside. He tried to make his way inside with an obvious entrance, but neither of the boys seemed to hear him. He slammed the door shut behind him, but the screaming didn’t stop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why wouldn’t you at least bring your phone with you?! You were still out as Dawon whether you like to think about it like that or not!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been two days, why are we even still on this?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, how about the both of you shut the fuck up?!” Youngkyun yelled, asserting himself with a strong voice as he walked further into the apartment. It was a disaster. Clearly neither of the boys had bothered to clean for some time and had no plans of it in the future, either. Youngkyun stepped around a coat tossed lazily on the floor as he made his way further into the house. The boys went silent upon seeing him, but quickly after, Sanghyuk deflated, moving his hand to rub at his temple. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You could at least acknowledge that you should bring your fucking phone with you next time you leave for six hours without telling me,” Chanhee snarled at Sanghyuk with a nasty glare. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You knew where I was! If you needed me so badly you could have just walked in and told me to follow you! I would have!” Sanghyuk growled back, throwing his hands up in the air. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, biting his lip as he walked over to Sanghyuk. He grabbed the roll of duct tape left sitting out on the coffee table before walking up to Sanghyuk. He didn’t hesitate to grab Sanghyuk by the collar of his shirt, pushing him down to the couch before ripping a piece of the tape off harshly and slapping it over his mouth. Youngkyun tossed the tape lazily to the floor without a care before sending a hard glare in Chanhee’s direction.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow!” Sanghyuk yelled with a glare, ripping the tape off his mouth and crumpling it into a ball. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said shut the fuck up,” Youngkyun repeated, deflating as he leaned his back against the wall facing the two boys in the living area. “You two are obnoxiously loud, and I feel bad for your neighbors who can hear you two fighting for dominance three apartments down. You two fight all the time so don’t act like it’s impossible to just cut the shit. I’m exhausted, and I didn’t come here to listen to you two fight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To be honest, Youngkyun was beyond tired. He hadn’t slept last night or the night before, and the most sleep he had gotten was a short nap the other day in his office while he waited for more reports on Park Minjun. The last thing he wanted to deal with was Sanghyuk and Chanhee screaming at each other, and he honestly wasn’t sure he would be able to handle it if he tried. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He turned to Sanghyuk. “I was going to ask you if you were okay from your migraine the other day,” he confessed, digging his hand into his shoulder bag and pulling out a strawberry milk, tossing it in his direction. Sanghyuk caught it easily. “But you’re being loud, so clearly you’re fine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes, as if he wasn’t the one who called him over. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to have a chat,” Youngkyun confessed, crossing his feet as he leaned completely back against the wall. “You said you had something to tell me. Spill it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, sending Sanghyuk a small glare as if telepathically telling him he was done fighting. Youngkyun released a breath in relief as he watched Chanhee lean back into his chair. “Someone is fucking with our gangs.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted, copying Chanhee and he leaned back in his own seat. “Great, right? And somehow, it’s my fault because I was MIA for a whole six hours.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I don’t want your sass,” Youngkyun scolded, glaring at him. So much for that.... “I don’t even know what happened but it sounds petty.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was with Inseong doing our plan. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Our</span>
  </em>
  <span> plan,” Sanghyuk stressed, turning to Chanhee. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah? Well the plan was for you to be there for twenty minutes tops, not six hours.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Should I have just left and ruined everything, then?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You could have brought your goddamn phone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Again, you knew where I was.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god shut the fuck up,” Youngkyun groaned, glaring between them. “Guys, who the hell cares? This shit happens all the time between you. Sanghyuk, take your phone with you next time and stop acting like it’s Chanhee’s job to do everything for you. Chanhee, stop blaming him when you could have just gone to him if it was that important. Are we done? Because I’m already done hearing about this. I can’t imagine being in the same room with you two for the past two days… jeez.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we just focus on the actually important stuff for once?” Chanhee asked, turning to Sanghyuk. “Or are you incapable of that?” Youngkyun rolled his eyes, mumbling ‘here we go’ under his breath. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the one who’s acting like a little child about it,” Sanghyuk spat at him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“GUYS!” Youngkyun yelled, dragging their attention back to him again. “I’m done listening to you fight. I’m tired. For once, instead of using me as your therapist, can you stop fighting for my sake and just tell me what the fuck is going on? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Chanhee agreed quickly, nodding. He turned to Sanghyuk. “We can finish this later.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh we can?” Sanghyuk challenged.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun warned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk threw his hands up in surrender, but it felt a bit defensive. “Fine. We can finish this later,” he agreed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded with a heavy sigh, turning to Youngkyun. “You know how Hyuk and I are connected to a chain of gangs because of Dawon, right?” he asked. Youngkyun nodded, crossing his arms. “One of the leaders is missing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So how does this connect to me? I bet gang leaders go missing all the time. It’s gangs, after all.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because the guy who is missing, Lee Heungsoo, has a best friend named Park Minsung who’s his partner in the gang. Minsung is Minjun’s brother.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun blinked at the boys before pushing himself off of the wall and stepping forward. “Wait, how did you even figure that out?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Connections,” Sanghyuk explained weakly with a shrug. “The point is, your Minjun is connected to Dawon, and he’s not the only person that has gone missing. Heungsoo has been missing since the 13th. It’s already been three days and nobody has seen or heard from him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, wait, wait,” Youngkyun interrupted. “You don’t think someone is taking out your gang people, do you? I mean, seriously. Then why go for Minjun if he isn’t even in your gang? And to know people in </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> gangs… I mean you have to be really involved to know that shit,” Youngkyun ranted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Sanghyuk admitted, clapping his hands down on his legs. “Which is why it’s a problem that two people vaguely connected to me are going missing at the same time someone is impersonating me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean Wonhyo Bridge?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward. Chanhee had said something briefly about it the day the police had found Minjun’s body, and Youngkyun knew enough to know it wasn’t Sanghyuk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded. “Yeah… Wonhyo Bridge. Man, I can’t believe someone blew up a fucking bridge with my symbol. Are you kidding me? What if someone had died?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a small bomb on the side of the bridge only meant to cause a traffic jam,” Chanhee reassured him. “But he’s right,” he added, turning to Youngkyun. “Someone is impersonating him, and even better, someone is coming after our gangs.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” Youngkyun asked, moving forward to take a seat on the couches with the boys. “I mean… why is all of that happening at the same time? Has anything changed in the past eight years?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged weakly. “It’s just weird. I mean, we don’t know for sure that it’s all connected, but it’s weird. I don’t like it. It’s too close.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Too close?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean someone knows too much,” Sanghyuk clarified, sending a chill through Youngkyun’s body. “Nobody should know which gangs are connected to Dawon except Chanhee and I. That’s why I hope the two aren’t connected. And I mean, that’s not even all we have to think about. If someone knows too much, what if that’s why they dumped the body at Xang? What if someone knows-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t even want to think about that,” Youngkyun interrupted, shaking his head to clear the worrying thought. “Let’s just focus on one thing at a time, okay? And let’s hope the two aren’t connected.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep an eye out for Heungsoo, okay?” Chanhee asked, lifting an eyebrow. “We’d like him back alive.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really think you guys need this many shots,” Youngbin told the group of them, placing the several bottles of soju down on the table. “But who gives a shit, am I right? Go wild. Celebrate. I’m not driving any of you home.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks Binnie,” Seokwoo said with a smile, lifting his empty shot glass as a cheer to the bartender.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem,” Youngbin replied with a smile. “Try not to throw up, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll do our absolute best,” Youngkyun told him with a cheap smile, picking up one of the full bottles of soju and lifting at him in a toast of gratitude before he walked away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Gimme that,” Taeyang said with a smile, snatching the bottle from his hands and popping the cap off. He poured the liquor into Youngkyun’s glass first before moving onto the other’s. He filled his glass last. “A toast,” he began, placing the bottle of soju down and lifting his glass. Youngkyun lifted his as well, clinking the rim of Seokwoo’s cup and Juho’s cup after. “To Xang’s wonderful legal team, and the Park family for wanting to wrap everything up quickly.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And also in memory of Park Minjun,” Youngkyun added softly, looking down to the table. Taeyang’s lips lifted in a smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And in memory of Park Minjun.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cheers,” Juho said, pulling his cup away and lifting it to his lips, taking the shot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cheers,” Seokwoo agreed with a nod, lifting his cup one last time at them before throwing it back. Youngkyun and Taeyang copied them before placing their glasses down on the table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Has Jaeyoon made any public statements towards Xang yet?” Juho asked, tilting his head at the three of them while resting his forearm on the table. “I haven’t had a chance to check recently.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would Jaeyoon make a comment towards Xang when he’s not involved with the issue?” Seokwoo asked, cocking his eyebrow at Juho as he leaned back in his chair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Juho shrugged, his long black hair tipping in front of his eyes. “Because Xang are Jaeyoon’s public defenders of the business world. I think it would be decent of him to at least make a statement, you know, as Seoul’s goodest boy.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodest boy?” Youngkyun asked, wincing at Juho from across the table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t have to make any comment,” Taeyang decided with a shrug. “I mean, what do you want him to say? I’ll admit, a rest in peace Minjun message wouldn’t be terrible, but I don’t expect him to involve himself with the issue.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe he should!” Juho stated, throwing his hands up. “But whatever. You three are Jaeyoon’s people. I’m just an attachment. Never met the guy, never plan to. If you say he shouldn’t make a statement then I guess the gods have spoken,” he monologued, earning suppressed laughs and side eyes from around the table as he moved to pour himself another shot. Seokwoo held his glass out towards him and he quickly poured him one, too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you hear Anonymous is donating towards fixing Wonhyo Bridge, though?” Seokwoo asked, looking around the table for reactions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Juho looked sideways to Seokwoo before taking his drink, throwing it back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like I always forget about Anonymous until he’s brought up again,” Youngkyun commented, tilting his head before moving to grab the soju bottle again. “I mean, because Jaeyoon is the public guy, but Anonymous just kind of sits behind him and does some of the big work. But no matter what he does, it boosts Jaeyoon’s name, not his own.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that was deep,” Seokwoo commented with a stifled laugh. Youngkyun rolled his eyes as he moved on to pour Taeyang another drink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just saying I always forget he exists until he does something like this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nice though,” Taeyang added in, taking the glass in his hands. “For him to donate towards fixing a bridge Dawon destroyed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted to comment how it wasn’t actually Dawon who did it, but he bit his tongue and forced himself to purge the detail from his mind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t Anonymous a bit creepy though?” Seokwoo asked, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re Jaeyoon’s personal lawyer,” Youngkyun pointed out, placing his glass on the table after swallowing the drink. “Are you telling me you’ve never met Anonymous? You’ve never come into contact with him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Never,” Seokwoo admitted, shaking his head. “The guys like a ghost. Like Winter Soldier level of not existing one moment and suddenly existing the next.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’re saying Anonymous is Bucky Barnes?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wasn’t Bucky Barnes a killer under the influence of hypnosis and brainwashing?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am comparing Anonymous to Bucky in a metaphorical sense, not a literal sense,” Seokwoo clarified, causing the table to erupt in smiles and laughs. “But wouldn’t that be ironic? Anonymous is the Winter Soldier to Jaeyoon’s Captain America.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You did not just compare Jaeyoon to Captain America,” Youngkyun mumbled with a snort, but Seokwoo totally did just make that horribly fitting reference. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it fits!” Seokwoo defended, laughing to himself even as he said it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that make Inseong Peggy Carter?” Juho asked, leaning forward in his seat as Taeyang snorted in laughter. He moved his hand up to cover his face as he snorted which just caused everyone else to start laughing with him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, speaking of Inseong,” Seokwoo cut in, grabbing the soju bottle to refill everybody’s drinks. “Can you believe Dawon kidnapped him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been almost a month since that happened, and you’re still on the ‘can you believe?’ stage?” Taeyang asked with a laugh, holding his cup out for Seokwoo to fill. “I mean, come on, he just blew up a bridge.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun really wanted to tell Taeyang. God, he wanted to tell Taeyang so badly. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t do that. He would just sit and pretend like his best friend wasn’t Dawon, just like he always did. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t he getting a bit worse lately?” Juho commented, thanking Seokwoo for the refill and quickly emptying his glass. “I mean, usually he pulls a stunt every other week. Something small, usually. But within the past month, he’s kidnapped Inseong, kidnapped a girl from a bar—this bar, I might add—and blown up a bridge. I mean, seriously. That’s a lot, even for him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if he starts getting involved with Xang?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really, Seokwoo?” Youngkyun asked, not being able to help himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just think it’s weird that he doesn’t bother you guys. He never has. I mean, let’s be real. Within two weeks of knowing about Inseong’s existence he managed to kidnap him. And yet it’s been just about two years since Jaeyoon started associating with Xang and Dawon hasn’t even spit in your direction.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want him to spit in our direction, that sounds disgusting,” Taeyang commented, causing Youngkyun to snort despite trying his best to keep a straight face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if he starts… messing with you guys?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not seriously implying that Minjun happened because of Dawon are you?” Juho asked, turning to fully face his partner. “Come on, bro.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, I’m not,” Seokwoo interjected, looking pointedly at Youngkyun and Taeyang. “Besides, Dawon doesn’t kill people. We at least have to give him that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Blowing up a bridge comes pretty close, though,” Juho mumbled, turning his attention away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dawon wouldn’t kill someone,” Taeyang interrupted, shaking his head. “He’s an asshole, but he’s a show, just like Jaeyoon is. They’re both publicity stunts at their core. Dawon won’t kill anybody, even I know that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun couldn’t help the corners of his lips lifting in a tiny smile as Taeyang said that, and he tried to quickly wipe it away by lifting his glass to his lips and taking the shot. He hadn’t remembered anyone refilling it since he last drank, but he didn’t question it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I dare Dawon to come at us,” Youngkyun challenged with a cocky smile, knowing he was more or less immune from Sanghyuk’s chaotic acts of villainy. Not only was it a decency in their friendship, he was also sure Sanghyuk was at least a tiny bit scared of what Youngkyun would do if he actually tried anything. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s not get cocky,” Taeyang said with a laugh, moving his arm to wrap it around Youngkyun’s shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop being gay in public, it’s disgusting,” Juho commented, making a face as he pretending to gag in front of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a love life,” Taeyang commented, sticking out his tongue childishly at Juho. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m in love with myself and I don’t need another human being,” Juho replied confidently, taking his shot and tipping it back into his mouth. “But seriously. You two are cute.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw, thanks,” Youngkyun said with a smile, leaning his head on Taeyang’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you two have always been this grossly in love since I met you,” Seokwoo commented. “And I’ve known you for three years.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I would hope we were in love at that point,” Taeyang replied with an exasperated laugh. “We’ve been married for two of those years!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’ve been dating since, what, 2013? I’m surprised you never got sick of each other,” Seokwoo mentioned, shaking his head with a laugh at the two of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We just work together too well,” Youngkyun stated proudly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who says I never got sick of him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned to Taeyang with his mouth open, and Taeyang immediately started laughing hysterically, holding his hands up to block Youngkyun’s hands in case he tried to push him over in his chair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Taeyang apologized quickly, tears brimming his eyes as he tried to stop himself from laughing, but it just seemed almost impossible. “Kyunnie, I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah you fucking better,” Youngkyun told him, lifting his hand like he would hit Taeyang playfully before turning away with a pout. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang laughed, moving his hand to cup Youngkyun’s face as he kissed his cheek lightly, and Youngkyun really really tried hard not to smile, but he just couldn’t help himself. His lips cracked into a smile, and Seokwoo and Juho started banging their hands on the table as a sign of Youngkyun’s complete failure. Taeyang just giggled by his side in success.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re just lucky I love you,” Youngkyun told his husband with a pout, reaching for his empty glass and demanding a refill. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Babe, slow down,” Taeyang told him with a laugh, taking the cup from his hand and placing it on the table.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why? We’re not working tonight,” Youngkyun told him, taking his cup back and holding it out to Seokwoo, who would most definitely refill it for him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang rolled his eyes with a smile as Youngkyun tipped the cup up to his lips. “You’re right. I am lucky you love me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you guys not be so grossly in love while you’re out drinking with us? Please and thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang moved forward to kiss his cheek again one more time before returning to his seat as if it had never happened, grabbing the soju bottle to fill up Juho’s cup. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun moved his fingers to lightly push his own cup more towards Taeyang, fully expecting to get completely wasted tonight, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He sighed, pulling it out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear to god,” he mumbled under his breath, pulling it up to his ear as he answered the call. “I’m not working tonight, Daniel. Is this important?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, there’s another body.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun could feel his body go cold at the sound of Daniel’s voice. The blood drained from his head and his fingers went cold where he held the phone. All at once, the hairs on the back of his neck shot up and his mind went blank.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” he asked simply, not knowing why he had to ask that when he definitely heard Daniel right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I- a few of the guys found it and I-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where… what site are you at?” Youngkyun asked, quickly pushing himself out of his seat and moving towards the door of the bar. He didn’t give a signal to anyone else at the table before moving away. “Where are you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Susong-Dong,” Daniel spoke, clearly shaking as he shifted the phone around in his hand. Youngkyun could hear the sounds of his fidgeting and pacing as he talked. “At the site for the new storage building.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I mean- do we know who it is?” Youngkyun asked, moving his hand up to push his hair back as he stepped outside, breathing in the cool air. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know. It’s some guy. He doesn’t look too old but… ah, I don’t know. Middle aged, I guess? Nobody has ever seen him before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun was almost afraid to ask the next question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“With… without touching him… how did he- uhm, how did he die?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a pause in the call. “Youngkyun it’s bad. It’s really bad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded to himself, sucking in a breath as Taeyang came up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He almost jumped at the touch but quickly found it in himself to ignore Taeyang for the moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you called the police, yet?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do it now. Don’t touch him if you haven’t already,” Youngkyun ordered quickly, tapping Taeyang’s side and gesturing to his pocket where his keys were as Juho and Seokwoo quickly came out of the bar. “Keep everyone on sight and don’t let anyone in or out. Lock it down, okay? I’m putting you in charge until we get there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyun what’s going on?” Taeyang asked hurriedly, moving closer to him and holding onto his arm as Youngkyun began walking down the alley towards the small parking area their car was parked in. After a few moments, he began jogging. Then he was running. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun we don’t even know who this guy is! It’s just a person! It’s not like Minjun who worked on sight, it’s just some stranger!” Daniel told him, and Youngkyun could hear the panic in his voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand, I know!” Youngkyun told him back, biting on his lip as he fought the urge to panic himself. He tapped Taeyang’s chest from behind him and gestured to the car. Taeyang unlocked it quickly as Youngkyun hopped into the passenger seat, closing the door behind him. Juho and Seokwoo followed behind them, getting into the back seat while Taeyang put himself in the driver’s seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Susong-Dong,” Youngkyun told Taeyang quickly, pulling his seatbelt over his chest as Taeyang began to drive. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Daniel, you need to stay calm,” Youngkyun began coaxing. “I’ll be there in five minutes, maybe. Can you stay in charge until then?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah I can- I can do it,” Daniel told him confidently, stuttering. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be there soon,” Youngkyun told him, ending the call. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck is going on?!” Juho yelled immediately from the back seat, hooking his hands over the back of Youngkyun’s seat to pull himself forward. “What the hell is happening?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They found another body at one of our sites,” Youngkyun mumbled, turning to Taeyang. “In Susong-dong. There’s another body.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ano- another… what?!” Seokwoo asked, pushing himself forward as well. Taeyang just froze, focused on driving. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who is it?!” Juho asked quickly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They don’t know, it isn’t someone who worked on site.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What if it was Heungsoo? What if Sanghyuk was right and someone was taking out his gangsters? What if they knew about Dawon’s connection to Xang? Should he call Sanghyuk? No, he didn’t have time. He couldn’t now even if he wanted to with Taeyang, Juho and Seokwoo in the car. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So it was just dumped there, then?” Juho asked, clarifying.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Youngkyun told him, turning around in his seat. “I have no idea. I don’t know who he is, why he’s there, or where he was found. I don’t know anything except there’s another body on one of our fucking sites which makes two in the past six fucking days!” Youngkyun didn’t know why he was yelling, but honestly he was too stressed to calm himself down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is bad,” Taeyang mumbled, keeping his eyes steadily on the road.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Youngkyun agreed, deflating in his seat. “I know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The ride was short, thank god. Taeyang hadn’t even fully stopped the car when Youngkyun was already unbuckling his seat, jumping out of the car and racing across the property. His shoes beat endlessly against the pavement sidewalk as he started sprinting towards the police lights, already flashing to illuminate the street. They couldn’t even get to the entrance of the site because of the crowd of people standing around it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please move,” he begged quickly, pushing through crowds of people with force if he needed to to get through. “Excuse me. CEO coming through. Move please, thank you,” he continued, shoving his way through groups of old ladies with their husbands standing around to know what happened. There was a police officer standing at the entrance that held his hand in front of Youngkyun when he tried to cross under the yellow tape, to which Youngkyun sent him a hard glare.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My name is Kim Youngkyun, CEO of Xang. I’m with CEO Yoo Taeyang and legal team members Baek Juho and Kim Seokwoo. Let us through or I’ll have your superior demote you,” he threatened in a low and impatient voice, quickly given access to the property. He didn’t smile at the police man, who, granted, was just doing his job, as he pushed himself under the police tape and began sprinting across the dirt ground. He could feel his lungs beginning to burn as he reached the grouping of police cars and employees. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need Daniel,” he demanded quickly. “Where’s Daniel?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun slow down!” Taeyang called after him, panting as he caught up to him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m here!” Daniel announced, pushing himself past the cops who had been having an actual conversation with him to approach Youngkyun. “Thank god, you got here fast” he breathed out, grabbing Youngkyun’s hand thankfully. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s the body? Where did you guys find him?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Over here,” Daniel told him, gesturing for the group of them to follow. Youngkyun hadn’t even realized Juho and Seokwoo had caught up to them. “He was buried under the extra wood we were going to ship out. They had him stuffed under the plywood.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cozy,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself, earning a shove against the shoulder from Taeyang. He needed to stop adopting Sanghyuk’s methods of coping with stress by making obscene comments. “Do we have an identification yet?” Youngkyun asked, turning to the cops standing near a tape border blocking off the area where the body was found. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And who are you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“CEO’s of Xang. I asked if we had an identification,” Youngkyun repeated, looking over to the blocked off section before returning his attention to the cop. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes snapped to attention quickly, his lazy posture fixed rather abruptly. “We do not,” he reported, head falling down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is the forensics team here yet?” Taeyang asked, cutting in. “Or how long until they’re here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They should be here in the next ten minutes,” the cop told him confidently. “Please, if we could just have everyone moved away from the area-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to talk to my employees,” Youngkyun decided quickly, moving away from the cop and over to the ground to his workers who sat tiredly on the rims of the unfinished building. The steel glowed under the lights of the police vehicles in the dark, and Youngkyun was beginning to despise the aesthetic. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you just going to talk rudely to every cop you see?” Taeyang asked in a hushed voice, coming up by his side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m stressed. They can deal with it,” Youngkyun confessed without even glancing to his side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang just rolled his eyes. “Technically they don’t have to. We’re not the most in charge people here,” he reminded him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well then they should stop acting like we are,” Youngkyun suggested, turning to his workers. Most of them sat with their heads down, hands tiredly laid in their laps. Their faces and bodies were coated with dirt from their night shift, and Youngkyun suddenly felt bad for them. They just found a body for Christ's sake. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned away from them quickly, leaning his head down so he could whisper to Taeyang. “I want to get them water and food,” he confessed quietly. Taeyang nodded immediately.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a chicken place right down the street. I can go get them-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you send Juho or Seokwoo?” Youngkyun asked quickly, interrupting him. He looked up to meet Taeyang’s eyes. “Can you stay here for now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Did Youngkyun need Taeyang by his side right now? No. Could Youngkyun handle himself perfectly fine? Of course. Could Taeyang stay here while Youngkyun went for the food? Most definitely. But Youngkyun wanted to stay here with his employees, and he wanted Taeyang with him. And it wasn’t just for comfort, although Youngkyun couldn’t deny that being a part of it. Taeyang anchored him in situations like these, and right now he needed that anchor, if his lack of a filter hadn’t already made that obvious.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang nodded, moving his hand to grab Youngkyun’s softly. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go get Juho,” he whispered. “What do you want him to get?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Send Seokwoo to get waters from a convenience store. Have him get… I don’t know, a shit ton. Cold. We can hand them out to the workers and cops.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You hate the cops,” Taeyang reminded him softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah well I bet cops hate dealing with two bodies within a span of six days so I think we can have a truce for the night,” Youngkyun admitted with a smile, his heart warming at the sight of Taeyang giving him a gentle smile in return. “Have Juho pick up a few buckets of chicken. Enough to feed the employees.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just the employees?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cops don’t get chicken,” Youngkyun decided with a laugh, squeezing Taeyang’s hand one more time before taking a step back. “You have five minutes. Leave me alone for any longer than that and I’ll divorce you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me three,” Taeyang told him, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek before quickly turning around to run in the other direction toward Juho and Seokwoo, who were in a crowd talking to the cops. The two of them didn’t honestly have any valid reason to be here. Youngkyun didn’t care, though. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned to his employees immediately after Taeyang left, moving over to sit on the steel frames with them. He let out a tired sigh as he did, turning all heads towards him. Most people wouldn’t consider themselves friendly with their CEOs, but Youngkyun always made it a point to put his employees first. Most of his workers called him by his first name, and if they didn’t he told them he preferred it. They weren’t as comfortable with Taeyang since he handled more of the business aspect of the company, but Youngkyun always made it a point to make them comfortable around him anyways. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry about this, guys,” Youngkyun apologized quickly, folding his hands in his lap as he stared down at the ground. “I’m sending my lawyers to get you guys chicken so at least you won’t have to just sit here and wait for questioning. Sorry about that, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not like it’s your fault,” one of the workers spoke, giving Youngkyun a soft smile. He shrugged his shoulders, trying to look like the situation didn’t bother him. “I can’t imagine you’re having a fun time dealing with this either.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How fast did you come here?” one of the other workers spoke up, looking to him before looking around at the rest of the workers. “I bet it’d take you ten minutes after Daniel called.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I bet five,” one of the other workers chipped in with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you guys know Youngkyun has the power of teleportation when it comes to his work?” one of the other guys scolded, tossing a pebble in his hand before throwing it towards the ground. He looked up to Youngkyun with a grin. “I bet one minute.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, sorry to disappoint you guys, but it took me </span>
  <em>
    <span>nine</span>
  </em>
  <span> minutes to get here,” Youngkyun confessed, smirking to the crowd.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nine minutes and fifty seven seconds, which rounds to ten, so I win,” the first guy spoke again, smiling to his buddies as they all moved to hit him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>None of them really seemed fazed by the situation, and Youngkyun was beyond grateful for that. He really owed his life to the employees that stuck their necks out for him the way so many of them did, especially when he did dumb shit like threatening cops all the time. He owed them for more than he could thank them for. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“One of the cops stopped me!” Taeyang defended quickly, sprinting up to Youngkyun. “Don’t divorce me please!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t but only because I originally gave you five minutes,” Youngkyun agreed, causing a chorus of laughs from the workers as he held his hand out for Taeyang’s, pulling him to sit on the steel frame with him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is everyone okay?” Taeyang asked, turning around to look at the crowd.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re all good,” one of the guys next to him said. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure? I heard somewhere that bad moods were contagious and I don’t wanna catch it from any of you,” he joked, leaning away from the guy next to him who couldn’t help but break out into a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang was making them laugh in such a terrible situation, and Youngkyun had to admit he was really in love with him. The way he smiled at the workers around him, his eyes glossing over every single one of them just to be sure, made Youngkyun’s lips pull into an uncontainable smile. He was really glad to have him by his side right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked away from Taeyang suddenly, eyes going wide as Daniel ran over to him from the grouping of cops that had held him until now. He didn’t hesitate to get up to his feet, making his way across the property to him as he ran up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Slow down, slow down,” Youngkyun told him, placing his arm on his shoulders and easing him to a stop as he approached. “Hey? Daniel, hey? Are you good?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Define good,” Daniel mumbled, straightening his back. “Ah, it’s like they think I’m a murderer now just because I was at both sites.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Taeyang and I will defend you,” he reassured him quickly, patting his shoulder. “Do you need to sit down? Our legal team is coming back soon with water and chicken.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You sent your legal team for water and chicken?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah? What does your legal team do when there’s been a murder?” Youngkyun joked, making sure to keep a straight face to make the joke even funnier, patting Daniel’s shoulder again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey man, did you see the body?” Daniel asked suddenly, shifting his arms to cross his chest as he cleared his throat. Youngkyun shook his head. “I mean… this one is pretty bad. Minjun was just a bit banged up, but this guy? Ah man, this guy is covered in bruises. I think his leg is broken… and his head.. Oh god his head.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Daniel, Daniel please sit down,” Youngkyun coaxed, only for Daniel to take a seat on the dirt right where he had been standing. Youngkyun didn’t blame him. He must have been tired from the adrenaline of finding yet another body, and then having to go through the effort of talking to the police all while giving statements for the second time that week. But really, he could have moved over to a place he could actually sit instead of plopping down on the hard dirt, falling over onto his side with a shaky breath. “Daniel, really?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow at him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“His head was all bashed to hell. Not his face, though. It was like the sick fuck that killed him wanted his face just… perfect. But his… the back of his head? God, Youngkyun. It was so bad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Daniel come on, get up,” Youngkyun told him, taking in the information but choosing to act like he was ignoring it. He knelt down by Daniel who just laid on the dirt, hair becoming soaked in the dust.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But I don’t think that’s what killed him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve had a long day, come on,” Youngkyun urged him, grabbing his shoulders and hoisting him up so he was at least sitting up properly. Daniel was heavy, but Youngkyun did his best not to act like he was struggling just pulling him up that much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, I don’t think the head trauma killed him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then what do you think killed him?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head to the side with a defeated sigh as he knelt back down in front of him. Clearly Daniel was going to talk whether he wanted him to or not.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it was poison.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And why would poison kill him? Why would the killer need to poison him if he was just going to beat him up and kill him that way?” Youngkyun asked, trying to drill any bit of logic into his mind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because that’s how Minjun died.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minjun’s autopsy hasn’t been released to us,” Youngkyun reminded him, letting out a breath. “So how could you possibly know?” He tried to keep himself from shaking as he gripped Daniel’s shoulder, but every word Daniel said just instilled more unnecessary panic into him. He tried to ignore it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I saw the needle prick in his neck.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his body freeze as Daniel spoke, trying to figure out a way to contradict what he was saying again. But Youngkyun never saw Minjun’s body close up enough. He didn’t see this one at all. But Daniel saw both. Daniel </span>
  <em>
    <span>found</span>
  </em>
  <span> both.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Needle prick?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Since he died after the needle prick… the blood rushed to the area but then he died so it just made the area all red and… because he died-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, save the forensics lesson for later,” Youngkyun cut him off, swallowing. “What do you mean needle prick?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean Minjun wasn’t stabbed or anything. He was just beaten a bit. But this guy has the same needle prick. It’s in the same spot on his neck.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You think these two were killed by the same person?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well what do you think, Youngkyun?” Daniel asked, merely blinking at him with a ghost of an expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t know what to think. He did, however, understand how closely the pattern of bodies was following Sanghyuk’s predictions, and how bad everything was going to be if the boy was right. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What did Youngkyun think? He thought Sanghyuk was right. And he knew that was a bad sign.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[February 23, 2018], [1 Year Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To say Youngkyun felt uncomfortable was an understatement. His fingers rubbed nervously against the champagne glass in his hands as he tried to maintain his composure. Taeyang was by his side talking to a group of company executives. Well, actually, Youngkyun was talking to them too, or at least he was supposed to be. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun was in their conversation, smiling at every point he had to smile and laughing at every bad business joke that was made, but he didn’t really feel involved in the conversation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were so many reasons Youngkyun felt uncomfortable here. He was wearing some tailored suit surrounded by other men with neatly trimmed hair also wearing tailored suits and it felt so fake that Youngkyun felt the need to act even faker. He was standing next to Taeyang like this in a business setting despite wanting nothing more than to grab his arm and pull him away in the least formal way he could possibly think of. His back had to be perfectly straight. His eyes had to be perfectly forward. His hands had to be perfectly positioned. Everything he said had to be absolutely perfect. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But that wasn’t even the worst of it. That wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> why Youngkyun couldn’t seem to bring himself to focus. No, the real reason he couldn’t focus was worse. Today, he was going to meet Jaeyoon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a business meeting between some of the biggest companies in Seoul, including Usang Productions, the company that backed Jaeyoon in the public. Usang Productions was one of the biggest companies in South Korea and they used their influence to help give Jaeyoon his support in the business community. Without company and business support, Jaeyoon would probably fail horribly, but more so in a way where he would just cease to exist in the public eye. Usang productions kept him public and current all the years he was building his reputation. At this point, Youngkyun wanted to think he could get by perfectly fine on his own without a business support system behind him, but he knew it would take just a little bit longer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And so Usang Productions was at the business meeting, and of course they had brought Jaeyoon with them. Jaeyoon was their face and star, who wouldn’t bring him just to brag?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But even if Jaeyoon was there, even with Usang Productions, there were still a hundred other company executives there at least. So if Youngkyun really wanted to, he could have avoided Jaeyoon for the entire party. There was no reason he had to talk to him, and absolutely no reason he felt like he should. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Except Taeyang. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun loved Taeyang, and part of the problem was that he always wanted to make him happy. So when Taeyang came home from a business meeting a few months prior saying he had had the opportunity to meet and go out to lunch with the one and only Lee Jaeyoon, Youngkyun had acted happy for him. Jaeyoon was a hero in everybody else’s mind, so of course he was happy that Taeyang was glowing with a smile at meeting someone so famous. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But now Taeyang was at the party. And Jaeyoon was at the party. And Taeyang wanted Youngkyun to meet Jaeyoon. But the problem was that Youngkyun didn’t want to meet Jaeyoon, but he couldn’t say no. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had been hearing stories of Jaeyoon from Sanghyuk since five years ago when Youngkyun found out he was Dawon. He had never heard anything about Jaeyoon being the hero he was claimed to be or being some holy person that was nice and sweet and good for the sake of everyone. Jaeyoon was just Jaeyoon, and Youngkyun had no interest in meeting him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What if it was betrayal? Sanghyuk didn’t know Youngkyun was going to meet Jaeyoon today. He hadn’t told him! What exactly was he supposed to say, anyways? ‘Hey Dawon, I’m going to meet the person you hate most in the world and shake his hand! That should be fun!’ No! Of course not! So Youngkyun had never even told his best friend that he was meeting Jaeyoon. Some countries would consider that going behind someone’s back, and in severe cases, treason. Was Youngkyun committing treason? No, he didn’t think so. Well….</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Taeyang said, bouncing happily by Youngkyun’s side as his eyes landed on Jaeyoon. He hooked his arm through Youngkyun’s with a giddy smile. “Ready? I’m so excited for you to meet him!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt terrible. What kind of husband was he to lie to Taeyang to this extent? He knew Dawon, didn’t tell him, and lied about wanting to meet Jaeyoon. For God’s sake, the least he could do was put on a slightly enthusiastic expression and humor him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So Youngkyun did. He smiled, exposing his teeth, and nodded with a giddy bounce of fake excitement. “Are you sure he won’t be bothered, though?” he asked, just to make sure.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Taeyang told him, pulling Youngkyun over. Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to follow him, determined to fake his enthusiasm for Taeyang so much so until it became real. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Taeyang!” Jaeyoon noticed with a large smile, placing his champagne glass down and hurrying over to the boys. “I didn’t know you were going to be here! Hello!” His eyes landed on Youngkyun next. “Oh, is this your husband?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taeyang nodded with a smile. “Youngkyun, this is Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon, this is my husband Youngkyun.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s so nice to meet you!” Jaeyoon introduced, bowing at him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Youngkyun did not expect Jaeyoon to bow at him, but he made sure to bow back in the same way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve heard so much about you from Taeyang,” Youngkyun told him with a nod, giving Taeyang a giddy smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?” Jaeyoon asked with wide eyes, turning to Taeyang. “Well, it’s an honor to meet you, and to see you again Taeyang,” he said with a smile, shifting his weight from one foot to the other in embarrassment. “Is Xang getting bigger since the last time we met? I mean, you’re at a party even like this, that’s incredible!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaeyoon remembered Taeyang’s company. He remembered Taeyang saying he had a husband. Jaeyoon was interested in the company as if he was directly involved with it. To be honest, Youngkyun had not expected that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! We’re doing really good actually. We’re hoping to get it a bit bigger in the next year or so, but it’s doing really well!” Taeyang bragged, and Jaeyoon actually smiled at how happy Taeyang was to deliver the news. “What about Usang? Are they still treating you right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaeyoon sighed with a smile of sympathy. “We’re hitting some rough patches, but I just hope they’ll continue to support me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought Usang was doing incredible right now,” Youngkyun interjected, lifting an eyebrow. “What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaeyoon shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just the face, so they don’t give me the details.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re directly involved with the company and its reputation, though. Shouldn’t they be informing you of what happens?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jaeyoon shrugged again. “Maybe. But I can’t really complain, you know? I have them supporting me now and that’s what matters the most. Plus, if they were thinking about dropping me I don’t think they’d invite me here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why wasn’t Jaeyoon an asshole? Sanghyuk had always talked about him beating the shit out of him when they met and acting like an asshole towards him. He said his personality on TV was different, that it was just an act. But how could this possibly be an act? Jaeyoon was so incredibly humble. He didn’t talk about being the face of the company like it was some prize, he talked about it and its downfalls like he was trying to be modest about how bad the situation was. He didn’t brag about being a hero, he talked about being glad the company supporting him wasn’t dropping him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And most of all, he just talked to them. Taeyang and him were CEOs of some close to unknown construction company that had just been started over a year ago. Jaeyoon was Seoul’s hero. And yet, Jaeyoon talked to them like he would rather entertain their company than talk to anyone else in the building. It was almost like… Jaeyoon didn’t like the stuffy atmosphere. Neither did Youngkyun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, I think I have to go meet with Usang CEOs now and their business friends,” Jaeyoon admitted shyly. “I was supposed to be following them around through the party, but to be honest this was more comfortable.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We won’t keep them waiting, then,” Taeyang told him with a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was nice meeting you,” Youngkyun found himself saying first. Jaeyoon wasn’t who Sanghyuk said he was, and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to know him, too. “I hope to see you again sometime soon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You too, Youngkyun. Taeyang, it was nice seeing you again. Nice meeting you Youngkyun!” he said with a smile, giving a small bow before leaving to find his company.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had said Jaeyoon was a rat. But to Youngkyun, Jaeyoon just seemed human. Now, maybe it was considered an asshole move to meet Jaeyoon and to wish to continue meeting him when he was already friends with Sanghyuk. But maybe, just maybe, Sanghyuk could understand if he held the both of them in parts of his life, even if for Jaeyoon it was small. Maybe Sanghyuk could understand. Or maybe Youngkyun was just being too hopeful…</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Pinky Promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed as he folded the bread in front of himself. His eyes glanced upward to the front counter where a group of high school aged girls were full on fangirling over Inseong. Sanghyuk tried not to glare, but they were being really annoying. Inseong was clearly uncomfortable, doing his best to hold up a gummy sweet fake smile as he tried to control the girls borderline screaming over him and asking a million personal questions. Of course, Sanghyuk wanted to know personal information about his relationship with Jaeyoon too, but no way was he curious in the same way those girls were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Inseong had a few rules about working with him, obviously. The number one rule? No denying the people pictures or autographs. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure why people wanted his autograph when he was merely just Jaeyoon’s boyfriend, but whatever, welcome to Seoul!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Sanghyuk held his tongue and didn’t make any moves, despite how badly he wanted to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been working with Inseong for twelve days now. Most of the time they spent together they were working hectically and had no actual time to spend together just talking. But there was always closing. Sanghyuk had made it a point to always make conversation with Inseong during closing to get to know him better, and to be honest, he wasn’t sure if he was doing well so far or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s favorite color was baby pink. His favorite game was chess, and when he was bored he did puzzles to keep his mind busy. He was near the top of his class in high school, though he wasn’t nearly anywhere close to popular because of his brain. He was left handed and had cute but messy handwriting. He loved to doodle but his doodles were absolutely horrifying in every possible aspect, so much so that Sanghyuk couldn’t help but laugh. He loved to eat food, and though he would never admit to it he would always snack on the extras in the cafe after closing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So again, Sanghyuk was learning a lot about Inseong through working with him, it was just that none of that information was really important to why he approached Inseong in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk had found out pretty quickly that Inseong didn’t like talking about Jaeyoon. Of course, Inseong never said that, but it wasn’t exactly hard to pick up on. When he checked his phone to see Jaeyoon’s contact name on his screen his smile always dropped. He became reserved when he had to step out to talk with him on the phone. When customers brought him up, Inseong’s smile always faltered. And as much as Sanghyuk wanted to know </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> Inseong had that reaction to his own boyfriend, he just couldn’t bring himself to ask. He couldn’t even bring himself to mention Jaeyoon’s name lately. He liked seeing Inseong smile too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had become apparent over the few days Sanghyuk had been working with him that he actually liked his job now. Working with Inseong slowly became less and less about his ulterior motive, although he would never truly drop that. He still tried to talk to Inseong as much as possible, telling him little details about himself that had no significance to gain his trust. It was manipulation, and manipulation took time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk really was enjoying working at the cafe. He liked baking for hours of his days, which Inseong paid him pretty well for considering it was only the two of them working. He used the money to help start buying more food for himself and Chanhee, and of course he brought home a small amount of treats every day. Chanhee liked that part the best. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t like the fangirls making Inseong uncomfortable. They really pissed him off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you just tell them to stop?” Sanghyuk finally asked that night as he wiped down the counter in front of him. “The fangirls,” he clarified quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shrugged as he continued to sweep the floor behind Sanghyuk. “It’s rude.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, them getting in your space is rude,” Sanghyuk told him, tilting his head as he tossed the used paper towels to the trash barrel. Sanghyuk wanted to call out ‘hole in one’ but he was trying to have a serious conversation with Inseong and that would ruin it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But if I ask them to stop they’ll twist it around and say bad things about me to the public. I can’t let myself have a bad image.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “So the obvious solution is to remain miserable for the rest of your life,” he replied with sarcasm dripping from his lips. He ripped another paper towel away from the big roll of them and balled it up in his hand as he sprayed another section of the counter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It shouldn’t be too much longer that I have to be like this,” Inseong tried, obviously trying to give himself an attitude where everything would be alright. And it was, by law, Sanghyuk’s job to destroy that false confidence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon has been in the spotlight for… what? Seven or eight years now? How long do you consider ‘not too much longer’?” Sanghyuk asked, throwing the next paper towel to the trash before replacing the paper towels to their places. He leaned against the indented corner of the counter as he turned to face Inseong. “I’m serious. You said before that this was your space, right? Because it doesn’t really feel like your space when people like them come in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What am I supposed to do?” Inseong asked with a laugh, finally quitting his task of sweeping to look up to Sanghyuk. “Should I just tell them all to fuck off? Oh, that would go over well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you don’t have to say it like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> but you, as a person, have every right to put up a simple sign that says ‘No Flash Photography’,” Sanghyuk pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But regular photography is okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not what I meant,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile and a laugh, grabbing a dirty towel from the sink, dry of course, and whipping it at Inseong. It was no trouble for him to catch it, but the action made him laugh at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you understand why nobody else wanted to work here now, though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said everyone wanted to work here,” Sanghyuk contradicted, reaching down into the glass display case to grab a cookie. He really needed to stop or he was going to get a bit of chub, but they were so good he couldn’t help himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People like those girls want to work here. Actual bakers and people that don’t give a shit don’t because of that kind of stuff,” Inseong clarified, looking from the cookie and back to Sanghyuk before returning to sweeping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I’m not an actual baker, right?” Sanghyuk asked, trying to conceal the fact that his mouth was filled with a wonderfully tasting lemon cookie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You cook and bake better than any baker I’ve ever met,” Inseong complimented with a shrug, sweeping the pile of whatever on the floor into a dustpan and tipping it into the trash. “So to be honest I don’t really give a shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help but snort as Inseong smiled at his own words, placing the dustpan and broom back in their spots. Inseong moved his hands to his hips as Sanghyuk took another innocent bite of his cookie. “Do you just come here for the cookies?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re good,” Sanghyuk replied innocently, making sure his cheeks puffed out in a pout as he spoke. Inseong just couldn’t help but smile at his antics. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was cute, to be honest. Sanghyuk really liked making Inseong smile and laugh as much as he could. It was something he couldn’t do for a lot of people. Chanhee was always worried about him. Well, then again, if Chanhee wasn’t worried, the two of them were probably fighting. With Youngkyun they were always fighting or talking about serious subjects. Taeyang was his friend, but they hardly ever met in a manner where he could just endlessly make him laugh. It was just Inseong. Inseong was the only person in his life that smiled and laughed this much because of him, and the feeling in his chest whenever Inseong did so made him feel giddy with bubbly excitement. It was more intoxicating than any alcohol he had ever tasted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The number one rule was that Sanghyuk couldn’t stop people from taking pictures and ruin Inseong’s image, but he had an issue. The problem was that Sanghyuk was so intoxicated by Inseong and his smile that he had begun to become emotionally distressed whenever Inseong was sad or stressed. It was as if his bad emotions were contagious and just latched on to Sanghyuk. That and Sanghyuk just didn’t like seeing Inseong stressed or sad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there was just one other small problem: Sanghyuk never listened to rules. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’ll be six thousand won please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl in front of Sanghyuk stared at him with eyes as wide as those on a fish. Her shaded lips hung slightly apart as she stared at Sanghyuk with absolutely nothing to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s hand moved to rest on Sanghyuk’s shoulder in a state of warning. “Sanghyuk, stop,” he whispered in a harsh tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gestured his chin down to the clear jar in his hands. Stuck on the very front was a decorated and easy to read label. “Six thousand won,” he repeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, that’s enough,” Inseong hissed at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why should I have to pay six thousand won for a picture?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re holding up the line and making everyone in the room uncomfortable,” Sanghyuk said, a bit more straightforward than he had admittedly meant to. But whatever, Sanghyuk would just work with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not at all,” Inseong cut it, trying to push Sanghyuk back with no success.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He says it’s fine," the girl pointed out with a smug expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s uncomfortable,” Sanghyuk denied. “This is the third day you’ve come in here asking for a picture as if we don’t recognize you. The food doesn’t come with a creepy picture, you know? He’s not an idol. He didn’t choose to have his picture sitting in everyone’s camera roll.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really don’t mind at all,” Inseong cut in again, pushing Sanghyuk away with a harsh shove. It only pushed him back a step, but he was quick to return to his place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Consider it a new policy. If you want a picture of Inseong for whatever reason, you have to donate six thousand won towards charity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That last part seemed to cut off any attempt Inseong was going to make at pushing him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Inseong mumbled, reaching forward for the jar sitting in Sanghyuk’s hands. He let him take it easily, almost smirking to himself as Inseong turned it around in his hands to read the front label. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you donate six thousand won to charity, Inseong will even smile and do a heart for your picture if you want. You want a picture </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> him? Fine. But it costs six thousand won.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to pay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well Inseong doesn’t want a million phone cameras shoved in his face every day either. So if you don’t want to pay, don’t ask for a picture.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk maybe you’re going too far,” Inseong whispered, placing the jar back in his hands. Sanghyuk took it easily, spinning it around so the label was facing outward again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is this at all fair?” the girl complained, pouting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fair because Inseong is trying to work, but when you ask to take a picture it stops him from working,” Sanghyuk explained, having gone over this in his head several times before he fell asleep last night and several more times this morning. “Dozens of people ask for his picture every day, so if you want to stop him from working so you can have his pretty face in your phone, you should do us the favor of at least acknowledging that. Donating is for a good cause, too, but I’m not telling you you have to. If you don’t want to, just order and sit down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pay the six thousand won,” a girl spoke up in the line forming behind the high school girl. She had straight hair and a neatly pressed school uniform. She walked forward with bubblegum stuffed in her cheek. “But do I get two pictures if I pay twelve thousand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely,” Sanghyuk told her with a smile, holding the jar out. She walked forward and easily stuffed the twelve thousand won into the jar. Sanghyuk turned to Inseong with a smile. “Have fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you kidding me?” Inseong hissed at him with wide eyes. “You’re selling me in pictures?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I am,” Sanghyuk told him confidently, spinning him around with little effort and moving him over to the high school girl before making his way back over to the counter. “Pictures with Inseong are six thousand won a piece! Come donate to a good cause if you want this </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span> face in your camera rolls!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I… get a picture too?” a little girl from the corner asked, standing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Sanghyuk told her happily, holding the jar out as she made her way forward. Sanghyuk placed the jar down on the counter and turned to the next person in line as Inseong was kept busy with pictures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can we get for you today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman in front of him looked between Inseong and him a few times before returning her eyes to him. “Uhm, who is he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave the woman a wide smile. “This is Inseong! He’s dating Seoul’s hero: Lee Jaeyoon. He’s pretty too, isn’t he?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Jaeyoon?! Oh, I have to get a few pictures for my daughter,” she rambled, pulling twelve thousand won out of her purse and showing it to Sanghyuk before stuffing it in the jar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can help the next in line,” Sanghyuk called out as the woman moved over to Inseong. His eyes glanced to the side to see Inseong smiling for the camera, holding up a peace sign with the small girl from the corner. But Inseong’s smile wasn’t forced or fake. Inseong’s smile was real. </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help himself as his head tipped down to the counter, doing his best to suppress the small smile forming on his lips despite failing miserably. “What can I get for you?” Sanghyuk asked, lifting his head up. The smile stayed on his lips like he couldn’t force it to go away, and he could feel it shining through his eyes as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Three lemon cookies, please,” the girl requested, and Sanghyuk wasted no time wrapping them up beautifully for her and handing them across the counter. He tied the little string around the small bag into a beautiful bow tie with a smile that radiated a thousand miles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay move, this is my station,” Inseong told him, forcing any expression off of his face as he shooed Sanghyuk away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk complied and stepped away from the register with a small laugh, trying to read Inseong as he moved back over to the counter where he was setting a tray of cookies. His face sat blank, but it didn’t really feel like Inseong was upset with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you not to interfere,” Inseong mumbled quietly, but Sanghyuk had already expected that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You told me not to stop them,” Sanghyuk corrected, placing another ball of cookie dough neatly on the sheet. He patted it down before moving to grab another one. “I didn’t stop them. I just made it harder.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen you actually happy like that taking a picture with a fan,” Sanghyuk commented, cutting him off while he placed another cookie on the sheet. “But go ahead. Scold me. I’m listening, I promise, but I can’t let the cookies wait anymore. But no, I’m serious, go ahead,” Sanghyuk encouraged, and he really meant it. </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk wasn’t exactly the most sensible person on the planet, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew what he did was a loophole in one of the few restrictions Inseong had given him, and admittedly he had no idea how the whole situation was going to go. He took a risk on Inseong’s public image by doing that, and he expected to at least be scolded for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, how can I help you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk watched as his hands froze on the tray in front of him. His head whipped around to see Inseong, but he was already helping another customer. Had Inseong just been interrupted by work, or did he choose not to scold Sanghyuk? He wouldn’t do that, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, don’t forget about the cupcakes in the oven,” Inseong reminded him, leaning down into the display case for a few macaroons. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Sanghyuk mumbled so low he was sure Inseong never even heard it as he placed the last cookie dough ball on the tray, moving over to the oven and swapping the two trays. He let the cup cake tray sit on the cooling rack as his eyes lifted back up to Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A group of girls came into the cafe as Inseong moved back up to the register, giving them his best smile. Sanghyuk couldn’t really hear them from across the kitchen, but he watched intently as one of the girls, one with curly pigtails, gestured to the jar sitting on the counter. Inseong’s eyes turned to Sanghyuk in that moment, and he wasn’t sure why he couldn’t just stay still and watch as his head instinctively turned back down to face the tray. He focused his eyes on the tray as he tilted his head to hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have a new policy. You can take a picture with me, but you have to donate six thousand won to charity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really couldn’t hold it in. His lips cracked into a smile and his cheeks puffed up so much he thought they would explode as he bit down on his lips to stop himself from exposing his teeth too. He kept his head tilted down as he moved behind himself, grabbing a new bowl to use for the macaroons, but he could hardly focus on his work when he was feeling so giddy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’ll pay the six thousand!” one of the girls commented, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help but look up. When his eyes lifted to Inseong’s, the older boy was staring back at him. But he wasn’t just staring with a blank expression. His lips, in the smallest movement possibly noticeable by the human eye, began to crack into a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for today,” Inseong told Sanghyuk suddenly, actually catching Sanghyuk off guard. He had just been sitting at the counter, sweater in his lap, waiting for Inseong to finish closing up so they could leave together. His fingers had been grazing over the surface of the counter as he stared down at the jar in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile, looking back down to the jar. Inseong walked up to his side, pulling the jar away from him. It was already filled. The entire jar was filled with money from just one day of offering pictures for donations. To be honest, Sanghyuk felt a bit bad about that. The jar was originally meant to deter some people from wanting pictures, and yet the jar was stuffed full of donations. “I don’t know why you’re thanking me, though. I made it kind of a hassle for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shrugged. “It was more of a hassle before.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? Before you didn’t even have to pose. You understand I just sold your smile and attention, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which, by the way, most people aren’t so comfortable just auctioning their friends off like products,” Inseong told him with a small laugh. “But-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Friends?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, eyes rising to Inseong’s. “Friends?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah,” Inseong told him with a huff of a laugh, moving his hand to rub at his arm. “I mean… we’ve known each other for… since the beginning of September. There’s only a few days left in the month. So… and I mean… yeah, friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really couldn’t stop himself from smiling this time, but it wasn’t so out of control that he couldn’t manage it. </span>
  <span>“I like friends,” he told him with a smile, popping off of the bar stool. “I’m just glad you think of me as a friend, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you even think of the charity idea?” Inseong asked, changing the subject. Sanghyuk didn’t mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well it was supposed to discourage people from asking for pictures,” Sanghyuk confessed, moving over to the front door as Inseong pulled it open for him. He walked through slowly and waited just outside as Inseong flicked the lights off, following him out. “But now that I think about it, putting that on a jar just encourages people’s curiosity and makes it acceptable to ask if they didn’t think it was before, so my bad,” Sanghyuk continued with a laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, what did he do now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked up quickly with a small jump, his heart rate easily calming down as his eyes landed on the familiar boy in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, what the hell are you doing here?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile, placing his hand on his chest as a gesture of the near heart attack Chanhee almost gave him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coming to get you. Come on, Kyun and Tae are waiting in the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Inseong butted in, coming up directly next to Sanghyuk. “Kyun and Tae, like Youngkyun and Taeyang, CEOs of Xang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded at him simply, looking to Sanghyuk. “Well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well what?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never met Inseong before and you’re just gonna sit here and not introduce us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, turning to Inseong. “Inseong, this is my little brother, Chanhee. Chanhee, this is Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better,” Chanhee commented with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! You’re Chanhee! It’s really nice to meet you!” Inseong told him, a happy smile appearing on his lips as he gave Chanhee a small bow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m only his brother by metaphor. We’re not actually related,” Chanhee cleared up with a small laugh, knowing Sanghyuk never bothered to fully explain the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He isn’t proud of being related to me, but I am,” Sanghyuk whispered to Inseong, just loud enough for Chanhee to hear it so he could roll his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are you coming or not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” Sanghyuk complied, rolling his eyes. He stepped more towards Chanhee before turning around to Inseong again, then quickly moved back over to him to hand him the jar full of money he had forgotten he was even holding. “Here. You hold onto it. I don’t want the responsibility,” he confessed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded as he took it with a laugh. “Thank you again, Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?” Chanhee asked, leaning in towards Sanghyuk as he started walking with him towards the car, wherever Chanhee had parked it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I sold him for charity money.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You- you </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, Lee Sanghyuk, sold Kim Inseong’s time and attention in pictures for money,” Sanghyuk repeated, speaking in the most clear way he possibly could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you trying to get on his good side?” Chanhee asked, raising an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He thanked me, didn’t he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still can’t comprehend why someone would thank you for selling them,” Chanhee mumbled, gesturing to the car as he moved over to the driver’s seat. Sanghyuk moved to the passenger seat, already expecting Youngkyun and Taeyang to be in the back together. It never changed with those two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a job?!” Taeyang asked, leaning forward and wrapping his arm around the back of Sanghyuk’s seat to pull himself forward as soon as he slid inside. “Since when?! Lemme see,” he said, reaching for Sanghyuk’s shirt and pushing him around roughly to see the name tag pinned on his outfit. He wore a white chef’s shirt, identical to Inseong’s, with black pants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you assume I’m incapable of having a job?!” Sanghyuk asked, pulling his shirt away from Taeyang with an offended stare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you are,” Youngkyun contributed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had jobs before!” Sanghyuk protested as Chanhee started the car, pulling out of the parking space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Name three jobs positions you held for more than three months.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There are none,” Sanghyuk confessed immediately, not even having to think about it. He spun around even move in his seat, no seat belt in sight. His arm hooked around the headrest of his seat as he turned to see Youngkyun. “But in my defense, that still counts as having a job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hardly,” Taeyang told him, earning an unamused glare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just surprised you haven’t been fired yet,” Youngkyun confessed, nodding in Sanghyuk’s direction. Taeyang didn’t know Sanghyuk was working for Inseong yet and it just seemed like Youngkyun wasn’t going to be the one to tell him and have to explain it all with bullshit lies. Sanghyuk respected that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” he huffed, turning around to deflate in his seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seatbelt on,” Chanhee scolded him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I swear to god-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, put your goddamn seatbelt on,” Youngkyun spoke up, looking pointedly towards him. Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, pulling the belt across his chest and buckling it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy now?” he asked, turning to Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Extremely,” Chanhee replied, lips cracking into a smile as he continued driving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee drove them down to a small restaurant in lower Seosomun-dong. The building was small and less than taken care of, but it was still a well known cheap restaurant. They had good alcohol and meat, and that was really all that mattered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He parked on the street, all of them getting out and going in together. A nice old lady with grey hair and a pretty little apron tied around her waist greeted them kindly and showed them to a clean table. It was a bench type table with wooden seats, so Chanhee sat beside Sanghyuk and Youngkyun and Taeyang sat across from them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t eat many of the pastries today so I’m starving,” Sanghyuk confessed, clapping his hands together lightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want dak galbi!” Chanhee confessed, looking to Sanghyuk with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help but laugh as he nodded his head. “We can get dak galbi if you want.” He looked up to the two CEOs across from him. “You guys want dak galbi?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Works with me,” Taeyang said with a smile, leaning his elbows on the table. “Youngkyun never buys me dak galbi,” he added in a whisper. That earned a slap on the shoulder from Youngkyun and a round of laughs around the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The four of them became instantly content when their food arrived at the table with the cooker, Youngkyun doing most of the work of cooking the meat for the rest of the party sitting around the table. </span>
  <span>Of course, Youngkyun gave the first piece of meat to Taeyang, which the older boy happily accepted with a smile. He served Sanghyuk next, just due to where they were sitting, but Sanghyuk gave the piece to Chanhee without hesitation, who accepted it just as easily. And of course, Youngkyun served himself last before declaring they were free to take from the pan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t remember the last time I ate dak galbi like this,” Taeyang moaned with a smile, more or less dissolving into the taste of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know right,” Youngkyun agreed, picking up another piece with his chopsticks. “I mean, we’re always stuck eating fancy foods at stupid fancy parties.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Screw fancy parties, I want seven thousand won chicken for the rest of my life,” Taeyang confessed, quickly covering his mouth as he spoke like he had forgotten he was already eating when he began speaking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll get fat,” Chanhee pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, will you still love me if I’m fat?” Taeyang asked with wide eyes, actually turning his attention away from his food to ask. Youngkyun copied him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only if I can get fat on dak galbi with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deal!” Taeyang called, returning to his dish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help but snort at the couple that were acting like they had seriously never eaten cheap food in their entire lives. Cheap food was always better, and that was just common knowledge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, did you hear Wonhyo bridge is finally completely cleaned up?” Taeyang asked, and Sanghyuk almost sighed at the topic of conversation, but he wouldn’t. He was sure he wasn’t the only one though. However, he did feel bad that every person sitting at the table knew his identity besides Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought it would have taken them less time,” Youngkyun confessed, maneuvering his chopsticks to grab one last piece of chicken. His bloated cheeks showed enough how full he was getting. “It’s not like the bomb blew up the entire bridge and collapsed it. It was a decoy bomb used as a distraction. It hardly caused any damage,” Youngkyun ranted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang shrugged, also grabbing another piece of chicken. “Yeah, but they were being slow about it. But at least it’s all finally cleaned up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had to say something, right? It would have been weird if he didn’t. “The news made it seem like such a huge deal when it was only something small,” he tsked, moving his chopsticks to the cooker to push Chanhee’s out of the way so he could grab the piece of chicken Chanhee had been aiming for. “They should save the screaming and crying for when Dawon actually does something that deserves it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” Taeyang said quickly, nodding his head as he chewed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You dick,” Chanhee mumbled, moving his chopsticks to grab the piece Sanghyuk already had and popping it into his own mouth. “Mine.” He finished chewing before turning his attention to the rest of the table. “Speaking of recent events,” Chanhee chimed in, looking between everyone in the group as if to read the mood before speaking any further. “Did you guys get an ID on the recent find, yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bae Intak,” Taeyang spoke quickly, clearly having the name of Xang’s newest found body ingrained in his head. “Not an Xang employee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Yours?’ Youngkyun mouthed to Sanghyuk, moving back just a little so his movements wouldn’t be caught in the corner of Taeyang’s eyes. He lifted his eyes to the ceiling and mouthed ‘no’ before moving his eyes down to the table and mouthing ‘yes.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sucks,” Sanghyuk consoled, shifting his eyes down to the table before lifting them back up, making direct eye contact with Youngkyun. “It’s not fair that bodies keep getting dropped on your property. What gives?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bae Intak was an easily recognized name for Sanghyuk. He was a thug in his mid thirties that had a bit of a violent streak. He had been in jail once before, but he worked well within the gang system Sanghyuk had set up. To be honest, he didn’t even know Intak was missing. Why didn’t he know that?! He knew Heungsoo was missing, yet his body still hadn’t been found, assuming he was dead. But Intak had been missing, too? Why didn’t Sanghyuk know that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t realize his breathing had become a bit heavier until he felt the comfort of Chanhee’s hand on his thigh, patting him to ground him back to reality. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But why didn’t Sanghyuk know?! First Minjun, then Heungsoo, and now Intak. Who was going to go missing next? If following the pattern, it would be one of his own gang members. Maybe it would be Heungsoo’s baby sister next, or what if it was one of their parents? Some of his men had kids! Were they going to go missing because of him too? Was he even going to know they were missing? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you don’t look so well,” Taeyang pointed out suddenly, and as he spoke a pang of pain vibrated throughout Sanghyuk’s head. His breathing became a bit more harder to control, and Sanghyuk felt himself wanting to just close his eyes and lie down for a second as his head began to pound with useless thoughts. Why was this happening now? Was it his fault? Obviously it was related to him, but he really couldn’t do anything to stop it. But what if he could and he was just ignoring it? It wasn’t like he had really done anything to help lately! People were dying and he wasn’t doing anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need a second,” Sanghyuk confessed, pushing himself up from the seat and making his way quickly towards the door of the restaurant. His breath came out easier the second the cool air hit his face and filled his lungs. As the sky grew darker, the air grew colder. It surrounded him completely, enveloping him in a sense of cooling comfort pricked with spikes of wind and the smell of a campfire which just naturally accompanied the coldest type of air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hand grabbed onto the side of the building quickly as his eyes closed. He drenched his world in a cover of darkness as he tried to focus on his breathing. He distracted his thoughts with the counts between his inhales and exhales, moving the tips of his fingers against the siding of the building to ground him to a sense. He focused on the cooling of the air and how it nipped at his bare skin, and even how his bangs moved against his forehead in the breeze. He breathed in again, taking in the sounds of the happy people talking in the restaurant and the sounds of his shoes scraping against the pavement outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Chanhee’s voice came, accompanied by the sound of the heavy doors closing behind him. Sanghyuk could hear Chanhee walk up to his side as he continued to breath, and his lips cracked slightly into a smile when he felt Chanhee’s fingers curl around his shoulder. “You’re okay. Right? You’re in a restaurant with Tae and Kyun right now, nowhere near your mask. Far from it, okay? You’re here with us having fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to do something,” Sanghyuk confessed suddenly, opening his eyes and turning to face Chanhee completely. “This is the third missing person, Chanhee. I was… I was so involved with Inseong that I didn’t even think about it as much as I should have… but Chanhee, my people are dying and I’m not doing anything-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So let’s start doing something, then,” Chanhee agreed calmly, moving his arms to rub down the sides of Sanghyuk’s arms. “Okay? Simple decision. We’re going to do something about it. Easy as that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But what are we-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll figure something out. We have plenty to work with, plenty of people to talk to, and plenty to look into. We’ll be busy with it all, okay? So don’t worry about what we have to do right now. We’ll do it,” Chanhee soothed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t even have the words to express how thankful he was for Chanhee at times like this. He never had to ask why he panicked the way he did or how to help him. He just knew. He knew what to say to calm him down and how to say it so Sanghyuk wouldn’t panic anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what about Wonhyo bridge?” Sanghyuk asked suddenly, the thought being brought back to his mind from earlier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One time thing,” Chanhee assured him. “And if it happens again, we’ll do something about it, okay? Stop worrying as if we won’t be able to do something. We’ve gotten through eight years of this, haven’t we?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk agreed with a nod. “Eight years. You’re right… I’m sorry-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you apologizing for? I needed a breath of fresh air anyways,” Chanhee confessed, turning his attention to look up at the sky. A small, calm silence fell between them before Chanhee spoke again. “Can you find any constellations? I can’t see any.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s too light polluted,” Sanghyuk confessed, his eyes lifting up to the same sky as Chanhee watched it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too bright, right?” Chanhee asked, to which Sanghyuk nodded without a word. “Okay, so if we want to see the stars what do we have to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go somewhere else,” Sanghyuk replied immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gwanghwamun Square is only like fifteen minutes away,” Chanhee told him. “I heard stargazing there is really nice since it’s so close to the mountains. There’s less light pollution.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you trying to say?” Sanghyuk asked, turning his full attention to the boy beside him. “I know you’re not really thinking about stargazing right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m saying the sky is too light here to see the stars,” Chanhee told him, not really clarifying anything. His eyes looked down to meet Sanghyuk’s before returning to the sky. “But if we go just fifteen minutes north we can see most of the constellations. And if we go even further north we’ll be able to see them all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, his thoughts clinging onto every word Chanhee said. He didn’t have to clarify anything the boy said or ask him for the meaning behind it. Chanhee would never give it to him if he asked. But he understood what he meant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now Sanghyuk just had to figure out which direction was north in his situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[June 7, 2007] [12 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 12, Chanhee is 7]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee you suck at this,” Sanghyuk commented, leaning back against the fence with a straw stuck between his lips dipped in the energy drink he was slowly sucking on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up,” Chanhee told him without even looking in his direction. He moved his hands around the basketball carefully, as if calculating his move perfectly. The court went silent as Chanhee aimed, pushing his arms up with all the force his little body had as he shot the ball towards the basket. It hit the rim of the hoop again, bouncing off with a loud bang and rolling away from him down the court. “FUCK!” Chanhee yelled, quickly chasing after it with flailing arms while Sanghyuk stifled a laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not doing it right,” Sanghyuk told him, placing his energy drink down on the ground and pushing himself up from the ground. He moved his hands for Chanhee to pass him the ball as the seven year old boy walked back to him, the ball held in between his tiny hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t touch it!” Chanhee told him quickly, holding the ball away from him with outstretched arms. “It’s mine! I’m gonna do it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk put his hands up in mock surrender, gesturing towards the hoop. “Be my guest! But you’re not throwing the ball right. You’re just gonna miss again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you don’t do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> right,” Chanhee spat at him with pouty lips, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk’s. Sanghyuk moved his hand to his lips to cover his smile and stifle his laugh as Chanhee lined himself up in front of the hoop. His stance was completely wrong. He barely bent his tiny legs, which stood horribly side by side. His hands held the ball at its sides and he threw it from the level of his chest, which wasn’t very high to begin with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The sight of this is literally making me sick,” Sanghyuk told him from behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said shut the fuck up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you stop saying ‘fuck’ every other word? Just because I do, doesn’t mean you should,” Sanghyuk lectured, coming around his side so he could be seen from the corner of Chanhee’s eye. He leaned down a bit, hands folded behind his back, as he waited for the boy to collapse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t. Chanhee ignored him, tossing the ball with every bit of strength his tiny body had. His feet lifted off the ground as he pushed the ball into the air, but sadly it fell just before the hoop, bouncing against the court and over to the fence. Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow at the small boy, but he just huffed at him before running after the ball. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, for fuck’s sake just let me show you how to throw the ball?” Sanghyuk begged, his voice rising at the end like he was asking for permission rather than begging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need you to show me how to throw it, you show off,” Chanhee grumbled at him, holding the ball to his chest as he moved back over to stand in front of the hoop. “I can do it by myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In how many more tries? You’ll get one out of sheer luck?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck does ‘sheer’ mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nevermind,” Sanghyuk mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “And hey! I told you to stop swearing!” he realized, stepping forward with his jaw hanging slightly ajar. “Listen to me you brat!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just let me get the ball in, I can do this!” Chanhee called at him, side eyeing him one more time before making another attempt at the hoop, only for the ball to go completely sideways. That was most likely one of his worst throws yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his mouth to criticize the shot, but Chanhee just turned around to give him a strict glare, clearly telling him to keep his mouth shut. Sanghyuk complied as Chanhee ran after the ball again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sheer means something similar to ‘nothing more than,’” Sanghyuk spoke up, crossing his arms again as Chanhee came back over with the ball. “So by getting the ball in by ‘sheer luck’ you’re making a hoop with no skill, and you probably couldn’t do it twice in a row. It’s just luck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Unless</span>
  </em>
  <span> you want me to teach you how to properly throw. At least let me give you some pointers? Some hints? Just one hint.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. One hint,” Chanhee agreed, probably just tired of listening to his endless talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Use your wrists to throw the ball, not your arms,” Sanghyuk advised, which just caused Chanhee to hold the ball in front of him with perfectly straight arms, throwing the ball up without moving them and simply flinging his wrists. The ball went less than a few centimeters in the air before bouncing against the ground and rolling against Chanhee’s foot depressingly. The small boy turned around to give him an unimpressed stare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like that?” he asked, clearly sarcastic and to prove a point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you never watched a single person throw a fucking basket ball before?” Sanghyuk asked, scooping down to snatch the ball from the ground before Chanhee could even think about picking it up. He held it strictly in his hands. “Listen,” he began, lining himself in front of the hoop while Chanhee watched. He maneuvered the ball to sit on the tips of his fingers as he lined the ball up, arms and legs bent. “Put one foot in front of the other for balance. If you stand with your feet side by side you’re gonna throw yourself to the ground,” he advised, nodding at Chanhee for him to try. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee gave him a small look of hesitation before looking down to his feet, copying him. “Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bend your arms. You throw the ball using your arm strength, but you aim and toss it using your wrists.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That makes no fucking sense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Stop! Swearing!” Sanghyuk hissed at him, biting his teeth at the small boy before looking back to the hoop. He moved his arms up slowly, as if he was actually throwing the ball just in slow motion. “As you straighten out your arms, fling your wrists forward,” he demonstrated, catching the ball as it simply fell in front of him with nothing but gravity to guide it. “Shall I show you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You will anyways,” Chanhee concluded, crossing his arms. So Sanghyuk demonstrated. The ball, as expected due to Sanghyuk’s level of skill in sports, did not go into the hoop. But the ball did bounce off the backboard and against the rim of the hoop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Impressive,” Chanhee cheered with a snort, raising his eyebrows as Sanghyuk quickly grabbed the ball before it could roll any further off. He pushed it against the ground without hesitation towards Chanhee, who caught it like it was a natural reflex for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Try it, smartass,” Sanghyuk challenged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee took the ball in his hands, shifting his feet to the position Sanghyuk had showed him. He lifted his arms, balancing the ball on his fingertips. Sanghyuk felt a small smile tugging his lips as he watched it all happen. And Chanhee pushed his arms up, flinging his wrists, and sent the ball into the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk didn’t get the chance to watch it go in. He could hear the sound of the ball going through the hoop behind him as he spun his head around over his shoulder. He heard the sound of the ball bouncing against the court and the sounds of Chanhee cheering in triumph. But he never watched it. He never saw Chanhee’s first success at getting a basketball through a hoop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk did you see that?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s voice sounded like nothing more than an echo in his ears, slowed in his mind as his eyes landed on the police car parking outside of the basketball court. There was only one entrance and their ugly car blocked it as the men stepped out in full uniform. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You there!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?” Chanhee asked, all happiness from his voice gone as his tiny hands grabbed onto the sleeves of Sanghyuk’s sleeve. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t really know what else to do, panicking as soon as the doors to the car closed. “Run,” he mumbled, pushing Chanhee back towards the back of the court as he stepped backwards. He spun around quickly, pushing Chanhee roughly and grabbing his arm as he felt the soles of his shoes kick off against the ground. “RUN!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee obeyed quickly, staying by his side as they reached the fence at the back of the court. The sounds of the police men’s boots slamming against the ground followed them closely as Sanghyuk grabbed Chanhee by the waist, hoisting him up easily as if he had done it a dozen times. Chanhee grabbed onto the chain link fence quickly, beginning to climb up and over it with ease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HYUK!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming shut up!” Sanghyuk called after him, climbing the fence as if it was a natural instinct for him. His fingers hooked over the cold metal as the toes of his shoes pushed him up. Chanhee was already over the edge and on his way down the other side when Sanghyuk pulled himself over the top of the fence, more or less jumping and slamming roughly against the other side. The rough movement of the fence moving threw Chanhee off as he tumbled roughly to the ground, but he was up on his feet again by the time Sanghyuk dropped to the ground. He grabbed Chanhee’s hand quickly, pulling him with his as he started running in a full sprint down the street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Move! Move!” Sanghyuk ushered him with a pant of breath, slowing down a bit to let Chanhee in front of him as he pushed his back to the side, turning them down an alley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“STOP! THIS IS THE POLICE!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FUCK THE POLICE!” Chanhee screamed back with a hoarse voice, skidding to a stop at the end of the alley and quickly pulling Sanghyuk’s hand down another side alley. Sanghyuk almost tripped over himself from the sudden stop, but quickly found his footing again as he followed Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keep your mouth shut!” Sanghyuk called after him, running up to his side with a few extra breaths of air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one that beat up an important company guy!” Chanhee yelled back at him, pulling his arms by his side as he continued to run forward. “What the fuck were you thinking?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking he was going to find out we aren’t paying taxes or living with adults!” Sanghyuk explained with wide eyes, a small glare aimed at Chanhee as if the answer was obvious. “So I beat him up!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you made it worse!” Chanhee argued, panting for breath as the two of them ran up to a small stone wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Up and over,” Sanghyuk told him, holding his hands together for Chanhee to step on. Chanhee didn’t hesitate, stepping up on his shoes and letting Sanghyuk hoist him up to the wall. He pulled himself up quickly, Sanghyuk jumping up to follow him. He pulled himself up with a small struggle before falling to his ass on the other side, which was thankfully a short drop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, ow!” Sanghyuk cursed in a whisper, backing himself up against the wall and grabbing Chanhee’s hand to pull him back with him. He pulled Chanhee into his arms, placing his hand lightly over Chanhee’s mouth, but not his nose. The air went quiet. It was as if they had stopped breathing altogether, which Sanghyuk would have believed if he couldn’t feel himself heaving for the breath he had lost running. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did they go?!” an officer called out, and Sanghyuk could feel his fingers slightly tightening around Chanhee’s lips, holding him steady. Chanhee didn’t push against him or fight him to take his hand off. Instead, Chanhee tensed against him, eyes wide as he tried to breathe slowly and quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck man, if we don’t catch that kid our boss is gonna have our necks,” the other officer complained, and Sanghyuk could mentally picture his posture deflating with the sigh that followed his statement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then split up man! Come on!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The footsteps of the officers slowly drifted away from hearing distance, growing quieter and quieter each second in different directions as the officers jogged to find where they had gone. It took almost twenty seconds after the police officers had left for Sanghyuk to release Chanhee, though, dropping his hand and leaning his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath and trying to calm his racing heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” he breathed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why won’t they just leave us alone?” Chanhee asked quietly, forcing Sanghyuk to lift his eyes to the smaller boy. His frame was small as he leaned against the wall, head angled down to his hands which were clasped together in his lap. “Haven’t they done enough?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The police are stupid,” Sanghyuk agreed, moving his hand to Chanhee’s hair to lightly brush it in a soothing motion. Chanhee leaned into his touch, his eyes still focused on his calloused hands. He seemed to be aimlessly picking at the dirt under his nails, but his nails were so short from biting them that he couldn’t really do much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did we do something wrong?” Chanhee asked, finally turning to Sanghyuk. “Did we do something for the police to hate us so much?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The police don’t hate us,” Sanghyuk told Chanhee with a sigh, turning to look at him as he sunk into the wall, his good posture long gone. “They’re just doing their jobs,” he added in a mumble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And we’re just trying to live,” Chanhee reminded him, and Sanghyuk really couldn’t find a single way to argue with that. “They took our parents from us. They took our homes from us-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They didn’t take our homes from us,” Sanghyuk interrupted him, closing his eyes in a sigh. “We ran away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t run away,” Chanhee whispered, and Sanghyuk winced at the small pang of guilt and pain he felt resonating in his chest. But the boy was right. Sanghyuk had never run away from his home. He had been taken from his home. “I miss them.” Chanhee’s head fell low to his lap as he mumbled, his voice cracking as he said it and his lips pulling back although he tried to hide it. Sanghyuk could see a small tear roll down the young boy’s cheek, and he was quick to shift himself where he sat. He opened his mouth to speak but no words left his lips. “Sanghyuk… I miss my parents.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” It was all Sanghyuk could seem to say in the moment, his shoulders releasing the tension they had built up. Sanghyuk moved his hand to Chanhee’s head, pulling him into his chest. Chanhee moved over to him without hesitation, wrapping his arms around his neck and collapsing into his body. Sanghyuk kneeled against the ground as he pulled Chanhee into his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to live like this anymore,” Chanhee sobbed, curling his fingers into the fabric of Sanghyuk’s shirt. “I want my home back. I want my parents back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt every nerve in his body going numb at those words. Because Chanhee was living the life he was now because of him. Because Chanhee couldn’t go back to his home, and even if he wanted to he would be worse off there now. Because Sanghyuk couldn’t bring his parents back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t bring them back for you, I’m sorry Chanhee,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pulling the boy closer to him if that was even possible. He let Chanhee’s head fall into the crook of his neck as his own fell to Chanhee’s. “I can’t… I can’t let them take you back to your family either. You know that, right? I won’t let that happen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Chanhee cried, his arms tightening around Sanghyuk’s body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it better for us, I promise,” Sanghyuk told him, sniffling in between his words. “We’ll go to school and have lots of friends, okay? I’ll make you sandwiches every day and make sure you have cool clothes. You’re gonna look cooler than every other kid there,” he rambled, and he could feel a lighthearted snort of amusement from Chanhee through his tears. “We’ll have a car and we’ll both know how to drive. We’ll have our own home, too. As soon as I turn eighteen I’ll buy us a home. Our very own home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if you’re not there for me when we get that old?” Chanhee asked, hiccuping as he spoke which only caused more tears to roll down his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ever say that,” Sanghyuk told him, pulling away from the hug and holding Chanhee’s shoulders in front of him so the boy had no choice but to look him in the eyes. “I’ll always be here for you, okay? I’m never leaving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if you do?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where I go, you go,” Sanghyuk promised, lifting his pinky finger in the air. “And where you go, I go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sniffled, looking skeptically to his hand before entwining his small pinky around Sanghyuk’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it, come on,” Sanghyuk encouraged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where I go, you go,” Chanhee mumbled, taking a deep breath as he began to calm himself down. “And where you go, I go.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. To Tell Sanghyuk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>[April 28, 2018] [1 Year Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun couldn’t stop himself as his lips drew apart, his jaw hanging slightly agape as he sat completely still. His fingers curled over the couch cushion of the seat in his own office. His feet felt glued to the floor. Every one of his thoughts felt frozen in time, like he couldn’t pull any of them back no matter how hard he tried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang stood in front of him, closer to the TV screen, as he ran his hand through his hair, sending it back in a messy fashion as if to lay his stress out for the rest of the world to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Usang Productions dropped Jaeyoon?” Youngkyun found himself mumbling, his body finally snapping out of its unmovable state long enough for his eyes to shift downward to the floor as the thoughts in his head started flowing again. But there was only one thought that he could seem to focus on no matter how hard he tried to shift his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Usang Productions… dropped Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed neither him nor Taeyang could move beyond that simple fact, eyes refusing to lay shut any longer than a single blink as the stress rose to both of their heads. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could Usang Productions just drop Jaeyoon? The poor man had been worried about it happening, and yet it did. He couldn’t imagine what he was going through with this whole situation, and the lack of a company backing him would definitely leave him open to issues with the governmental side of Korea. But why did Youngkyun care about Jaeyoon? He was supposed to care about Sanghyuk, was he not?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is bad,” Taeyang mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “I mean… think about it,” he prompted, beginning to pace back and forth across the room. “Without a company backing him, interest from the public will skyrocket but he won’t have anyone to manage it for him. He stands by himself now with no claim to any title because he doesn’t have people with power behind him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t he be fine on his own now?” Youngkyun asked, finally tearing his eyes up to Taeyang. “He’s popular. He’s his own person with power.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not in the business world! If he doesn’t have a company or political figure backing him it leaves him vulnerable, and who </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Dawon will do with that opening!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun could take a few guesses. In fact, Youngkyun could probably make a big guess as to every plan Sanghyuk had in mind for the poor hero. He wouldn’t fight Taeyang about it, because he knew he had made a very good point. Youngkyun couldn’t say anything to stop Sanghyuk, and Sanghyuk would probably exploit the man. It was to be expected, but Youngkyun still felt overwhelmingly guilty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe… maybe someone will step up and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had realized his mistake the second he opened his mouth. His eyes went wide as he realized his slip up, but that didn’t stop Taeyang from racing over to kneel in front of him, hands firmly gripping his legs as he practically crashed in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if we did?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Youngkyun told him straight up. “Jaeyoon needs someone with power behind him and our company is barely a year old! We don’t have power.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No no, Kyun, think about it,” Taeyang prompted again, his eyes shining with innocence as he begged Youngkyun to understand his point of view. Youngkyun really felt himself collapsing to Taeyang’s innocence, but reminded himself to hold onto the fact that he was still Sanghyuk’s best friend. Sanghyuk was Dawon. Youngkyun couldn’t support Jaeyoon without hurting his friend’s feelings. “We’re not huge, but we have at least a little bit of pull.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not enough!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve never had a scandal,” Taeyang pointed out, raising his eyebrows. “The public will look hard into our company but they won’t find anything. With the small pull we have, we can back Jaeyoon. The public that supports Jaeyoon will support us. Jaeyoon himself would also support us in return. By this, we gain popularity and business itself increases.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun couldn’t finish his own thought. He didn’t have a complete thought to argue with Taeyang. Everything he said about the situation was a plus for their company, and it would benefit Jaeyoon as well. Everything Taeyang said was true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would be good for us, Kyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There has to be a reason Usang dropped Jaeyoon,” Youngkyun mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Usang was problematic and couldn’t handle the constant pressure of the public on them,” Taeyang told him without even having to think about it. “We’re not problematic. We have nothing to hide.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had a few things to hide. Youngkyun felt guilty about that, but it was true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if Dawon focuses on us?!” Youngkyun spat out, and he closed his mouth before his thoughts of taking it back could surface. But Dawon focusing on them wasn’t even the problem. The problem was Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> attack them. Youngkyun couldn’t count on his fingers the number of times Dawon had made an attack against Usang productions, much to the benefit of the people they screwed over. But if Youngkyun and Taeyang backed Jaeyoon through Xang, would Sanghyuk attack them, too? </span>
  <span>He wouldn’t, right? Youngkyun wanted to believe he wouldn’t, but if he didn’t wouldn’t that at least raise a few suspicions? It was a hard situation. If Dawon didn’t attack Xang there would be a problem, but if he did, Youngkyun himself would beat Sanghyuk into the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to protect the company. After all, this had been his and Taeyang’s dream. He couldn’t let Sanghyuk ruin it because of a little game, and Jaeyoon would take part in ruining it whether he meant to or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what about Jaeyoon? His life revolved around him being a hero. What if the government ruined that because he had nobody fighting for him? What if Youngkyun gave Taeyang a final and hard ‘no’ right now, and Jaeyoon’s life fell apart? That would be his fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, Kyun,” Taeyang begged, moving forward to grab Youngkyun’s hands between his own as he pleaded with his eyes for Youngkyun to agree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun could do little more than sigh as his eyes flickered back up to the tv screen. “It’ll be hard,” he confessed, and suddenly he couldn’t see anything but the way Taeyang’s face lit up with joy at the implication that Youngkyun was agreeing. His smile grew instantly, eyes filling with the world they held in them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t just my decision, though,” Taeyang reminded him, moving in between his legs on his knees as he rested his arms on the top of Youngkyun’s legs comfortably. His smile dropped, a serious expression overcoming his features. “I want to support him, but if you don’t want to, I respect that, and we won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. If you aren’t comfortable with it, we won’t. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> company.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s do it,” Youngkyun found himself whispering without a second of silence. Sanghyuk would be angry, but he could live with it. Youngkyun would explain the situation to Sanghyuk, and he would learn to be okay with their decision. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean it?” Taeyang asked, eyes going wide with hope.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded, the corners of his lips turning up in a sweet smile. “I mean it. Let’s do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Present Day]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so let’s start with what we already know,” Sanghyuk began, pushing a blurry picture of Park Minjun against a completely blank wall of his apartment, sticking a tack in the wall to hold it up. “Minjun was the first one found.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee moved forward to grab another tack from the small cup full they had sitting on their coffee table, barely looking as he stuck his fingers in it. He came out with a blue one, pinning a blank piece of notebook paper beside the picture of Minjun before uncapping the marker he had stuffed behind his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minjun was found on September 14th,” Chanhee explained as he wrote. “At the Euijuro construction site.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Owned by Xang, of course,” Sanghyuk mentioned, placing his hands on his hips as Chanhee finished writing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he was an Xang employee, too,” Youngkyun reminded them, causing Chanhee to move quickly back to the paper to write the detail down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s write down everything so we can look for patterns,” Sanghyuk suggested, looking to Youngkyun. “How old was he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just eighteen years old,” Youngkyun told him quietly, watching as Chanhee quickly wrote it down. “And we don’t know when he went missing, either, but we know he has two brothers. Park Minsung, a gangster, and Park Minkyu, a cop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How ironic,” Chanhee mumbled, jotting it all down before stepping back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved to grab another tack from the cup full, also sliding another blurry picture off of the table. He pressed it to the wall and stuck the tack in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Heungsoo,” he began, stepping away from the paper as Chanhee stuck another piece of lined notebook paper to the wall. “Has been missing since September 13th. He’s one of my gang members, and his best friend and partner is Minsung, Minjun’s brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s put Minsung up here,” Youngkyun suggested, taking the printed picture of Minsung and putting it between Minjun and Heunsoo, but slightly higher up. He stuck it into the wall with a tack before being handed a spool of red thread. Youngkyun cut it and tied it carefully, making sure it wasn’t messy as it connected both Minjun and Heungsoo to Minsung, but not to each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minjun is dead. But we don’t know if Heungsoo is or not,” Chanhee mumbled, just to organize his thoughts. “Minsung is still alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, so Minjun and Heungsoo both went missing around the same time?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head. “We know for sure Heungsoo has been missing since the 13th. But the cops came to my property looking for Minjun on the 7th, so we either went missing then, or a few days before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Write down the 7th for Minjun,” Sanghyuk mumbled to Chanhee, who was already in the process of doing so, not that Sanghyuk noticed. “And write down that Heungsoo didn’t work for Xang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just connect Minjun to Xang and Heungsoo to Dawon with the thread,” Youngkyun suggested instead, taking two pieces of paper and tacking them to the wall above and below everything else. He let Chanhee write ‘Xang’ on one paper and ‘Dawon’ on the other before connecting the tacks to their appropriate missing persons cases with thread. He also connected Minsung to Dawon for the sake of organization. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bae Intak,” Sanghyuk began next, pinning the next picture up to the wall. “Mid 30’s, last seen on the 19th, found dead at Xang’s Ahnyeon-dong site on the 20th. No affiliation to Minsung </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> Heungsoo. He was in a different area of the gang business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed as he hurried to write everything down, but Youngkyun couldn’t help it as his expression turned into a pout. “No connection to Minsung? Just you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Sanghyuk confirmed with a tired sigh. “To my knowledge he didn’t even know Minsung. I could be wrong, but it looks like Minsung isn’t the connecting factor. So far it’s me in some way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Xang, considering they’re all being found there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The victims are connected to Dawon. Them going missing and turning up dead connects to Xang,” Chanhee clarified with a sigh, stepping back from the papers. “This is messy and confusing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know enough,” Sanghyuk confessed with a sigh, stepping back to observe the wall in front of them. Youngkyun thought they had a decent amount to work with, what with three people already missing and two found. But they didn’t have much. Looking at the display now, he felt like they had little to nothing to work with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t be saying what I think you’re trying to say,” Youngkyun begged, although he was sure he was thinking the same thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The only way for us to know more information is if we wait,” Sanghyuk spoke with a heavy breath, his lips twitching. “If… if we wait for Heungsoo to be found dead… and more people to go missing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is bullshit,” Chanhee mumbled, falling back onto the couch behind him. “This is bullshit and we all know it. What the fuck?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, and it didn’t take more than a second of looking at him to realize he had a small headache forming. His expression faded into one of heavy impatience and frustration as he hung his head down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, sit down,” Youngkyun told him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to,” Sanghyuk argued, just as expected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sit down before you give yourself another fucking migraine. You already had one this month, let’s try not to make it two, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked like he was about to argue, most likely out of habit and sheer personality, but he was obviously beyond exhausted and seemed to choose calmly sinking into the chair behind him as opposed to a screaming match, which his petty words would often escalate into.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So now what? We wait for more people to go missing because of me? We wait for more people to die?” Sanghyuk asked, his voice laced with the tight nerves and guilt he had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There isn’t much else we </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> do, Hyuk,” Chanhee told him with a sigh. “You were right. We just have to wait.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Youngkyun didn’t want to wait. And he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to wait before his company suffered the consequences of what was happening. </span>
  <span>But he would have to wait a while, it seemed, because nothing else happened until October 7th. And it had been a very long two weeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the lack of anything happening with the missing people, Sanghyuk had chosen to focus obsessively on Inseong, instead. Every time he met with Youngkyun, he talked about Inseong. And when Taeyang was in the room it seemed like he had to actually hold himself back from bringing the boy up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t figure him out, and he had vented his frustrations to Youngkyun several hundred times in the past two weeks. But most of all, Sanghyuk seemed to wince more talking about Jaeyoon now. He seemed more repulsed by him than ever, although he never actually said why. Well, at least until Youngkyun had asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think Jaeyoon is abusing Inseong,” he had told him over lunch one day, just two days ago, actually. Youngkyun had frozen at Sanghyuk’s words, and in all honesty he had no idea what to think about that. But Sanghyuk hadn’t just left it hanging at that. Of course he wouldn’t let his statement just hang in the air unsupported and free to judgement. He told Youngkyun why he thought that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Inseong flinched whenever Sanghyuk or anybody else brought up Jaeyoon’s name. Because Sanghyuk had dropped a tray by accident the other day and Inseong moved to pick it up after jumping like he had never been so shocked or scared in his life, and like it was his job to pick it up when Sanghyuk dropped it. Because Inseong avoided talking about his relationship and hated being known for it. Because his expression fell whenever Jaeyoon called or texted. Because he wanted to break up with him at some point, apparently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But sitting here now, Youngkyun could understand a tiny bit. It was hard to notice it, but as he looked for it more and more, he caught onto the small details Sanghyuk always mentioned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sat alone on his side of the table, Jaeyoon sitting across from him with a content smile. Inseong sat by his side, slowly sipping at his soda drink like he wanted it to last forever, to never have a reason to focus on anything else while he was here. But maybe that was just because Inseong was like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for having lunch with me,” Jaeyoon spoke up with a gummy smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he picked at his food with his chopsticks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Youngkyun said quickly, mirroring his smile. He wouldn’t let Sanghyuk’s assumptions ruin this lunch with Jaeyoon. He wouldn’t let that happen. “It’s been a while since we’ve gone out for lunch anyways. Taeyang says he’s sorry he couldn’t make it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon waved it away like he was just as happy to have lunch with just Youngkyun as he would have been if Taeyang were there too. “No worries. I understand he’s busy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’d think I’d be busy too. To be honest, this is one of the few free moments I’ve had lately,” Youngkyun confessed, moving his chopsticks to pick up a piece of his japchae. He stirred it around before picking up a decent amount of it, savoring the taste. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is it going with Xang by the way?” Jaeyoon asked, picking a piece of bell pepper out of his own bowl and moving it to Inseong’s bowl without explanation. Inseong’s eyes flickered to Jaeyoon before a smile formed on his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he mumbled, picking it up and eating it quickly. Youngkyun wanted to say it was sweet, but the thanks Inseong gave him almost felt forced. Did couples usually give small bows when they gave each other food? Youngkyun and Taeyang never did that. But maybe that was just because Inseong was like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s getting better,” Youngkyun confessed, forcing his eyes to his bowl rather than Inseong. He didn’t want Jaeyoon to even see him looking unnecessarily at Inseong, because for some reason he felt like he was doing something wrong by looking. But Jaeyoon hadn’t given him any reason to feel that way. He just did. “I’m still working with several dozen employees on better safety and precautions we can take for our sites in the future. I’m going a bit over self defense with a few of them and sending out messages to remind them to tell me if anything seems off, but hopefully it’s all pointless, and they won’t need any of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s good that you’re doing it though!” Jaeyoon pointed out, jabbing his chopsticks at his noodles. “The employees will be thankful for it anyways. It doesn’t matter if they need it or not, even though hopefully they won’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been two weeks,” Youngkyun said with a simple shrug. “I’m just hoping it stays as calm as it is now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be one of the first ones there if it doesn’t, though,” Jaeyoon assured him with a comforting smile. Youngkyun almost wished he didn’t say that, though. Of course, he was grateful for the help Jaeyoon was so insistent on providing, but Sanghyuk was also going to be the first person he called besides Taeyang, no matter what, and for good reason. Sanghyuk was directly involved, and had every right to help Youngkyun immediately. But he couldn’t have both Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk helping around him at the same time, obviously. Youngkyun just didn’t even want to think about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about that project you’re doing with the governor for charity?” Youngkyun asked, eager to change the subject so he didn’t have to dwell on the complicated details of things anymore. “How’s that going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon made a noise from the back of his throat as he hurried to swallow his food, placing his chopsticks down with excitement. “It’s going really well, actually. People are really pitching in to help and it’s incredible! Our goal was 11 million won, but by the middle of the month I think we might have double that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled at the news, his cheeks puffing out as he swallowed his bite of his food. “You’re helping a lot of people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know but it isn’t even about that,” Jaeyoon corrected him quickly. “I don’t give a fuck if it’s me who’s helping them, as long as they’re getting the help they need. Inseong’s planning a similar event, too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked excitedly to the boy who seemed to be constantly shrinking in his chair, only to quickly realize the boy had not wanted to talk at this meeting at all. But he snapped out of his ever continuous shrinking to sit up straight in his chair, placing his chopsticks down as he gave a very small smile to Jaeyoon, then turned to Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s doing a charity event to raise money for victims of abuse and the homeless. But I’ll be doing a big baking fundraiser to raise money for orphaned children,” Inseong explained quickly, his teeth poking out a bit in his smile as he spoke. And in that very moment, Youngkyun realized what Sanghyuk meant when he talked about Inseong’s real smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He said how Inseong’s smile in the public is fake, and how he hides his true happiness, but Youngkyun thought that was a complete load of bullshit. But to be completely honest, now that Youngkyun was seeing Inseong smile like this talking about baking and helping orphaned children, Youngkyun understood what he meant a bit. He had never seen Inseong smile like this before, nevermind look so content or happy in a single moment. He just thought that was the way Inseong was, but clearly he could be so much happier. But… he wasn’t. But maybe that was because… Inseong was just like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why orphaned kids?” Youngkyun felt himself asking, too curious to hold himself back. “Don’t get me wrong!” he added quickly, “It’s a fantastic cause! I was orphaned when I was a kid, too, so I love it. I’m just curious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes went wide. “You… you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun giggled with a nod. “Yup. Orphaned in primary school. But I’m over it. And I think it’s a really great cause. Are you taking volunteers to help bake? I’ll bring in as much as I can.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pink glow of Inseong’s cheeks as he smiled again almost hurt Youngkyun’s heart to look at, and he really found himself having the same thoughts Sanghyuk always had. Why did Inseong never smile like this around Jaeyoon?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s because of someone I work with,” Inseong confessed quietly, and it didn’t take more than a second for Youngkyun to regret asking why Inseong chose the charity cause he did. “You might know him, actually. I think you do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt every nerve in his body going cold as he tried to hold the same expression he had on his face when Inseong began speaking, but it was so hard not to wince as Inseong opened his mouth again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Sanghyuk. Do you know him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, the new boy you work with?” Jaeyoon asked, clearly recognizing the name. Youngkyun had to remind himself that there was no reason for Jaeyoon to catch onto anything with just a name. He didn’t know Sanghyuk was Dawon. Youngkyun just had to make sure to change the subject quickly enough so Jaeyoon didn’t get any ideas about wanting to meet with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We went to school together,” Youngkyun confessed quickly with a smile. “So I know him and his brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, he never talks about his childhood when I ask, and all he’s mentioned is bits and pieces of government homes and situations like that. So I just have a feeling. I haven’t told him about it yet, though. I want it to be a surprise, since I’m making him help me with it anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he’ll really appreciate that,” Youngkyun found himself saying, and he meant it. Because Inseong was right: Sanghyuk was an orphan. But he really had to wonder how on earth Inseong had read him so easily when Sanghyuk did everything possible to conceal himself within a spiked shell he called headaches and picking fights with everyone. It wasn’t easy to read him, yet Inseong made it seem like a walk in the park.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Youngkyun felt his skin go cold again. “Jaeyoon… are you going to be going to bake sale with Inseong and Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What the hell were they supposed to do if Jaeyoon was, which was extremely likely? Jaeyoon probably had Dawon’s voice ingrained in his brain at this point, so if he was going there and would meet Sanghyuk, what was the boy supposed to do? This plan of his was stupid. Getting so close to Jaeyoon as himself was stupid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Jaeyoon just hummed, turning to Inseong with a smirk mixed with a smile and a raised eyebrow. “Should I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was ready to give him every reason not to without hesitation, but it wasn’t the fact that he was doing Sanghyuk’s work for him that made him hesitate. It was the way Inseong’s smile had faded at the question. It was the way he so obviously tried to keep it up, like he had to pretend he wanted Jaeyoon there. It was the way Inseong’s shoulders moved slightly back as Jaeyoon leaned towards him, and it was the strained muscles Youngkyun could see in the boy’s neck from across the table. But Inseong wasn’t just like that. Inseong had been happy and smiling only a second ago. And Inseong… wasn’t just like that. He was uncomfortable. And he clearly didn’t want Jaeyoon to be there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should let Inseong have this one,” Youngkyun spoke up quickly, Inseong’s eyes darting to him like it was the last thing in the world he expected him to say. Jaeyoon turned to Youngkyun with interest, so he tried not to panic as he continued. “I mean… Inseong is constantly associated with you now. If you show up and help, it might have everyone thinking it’s your charity event, no offense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None taken,” Jaeyoon said with a smile and a small laugh. “I think you’re right, actually. Plus, Inseong has been really excited about leading this. The last thing I want to do is take any of that away from him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost bittersweet. And it would have been, too, if it wasn’t for the way Inseong’s shoulders deflated in relief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was wrong. Sanghyuk had noticed it right away, and Youngkyun hadn’t believed him. But he could see it now. Something was wrong, and he had a feeling it wasn’t with Inseong. Because Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> just like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should come, Youngkyun,” Inseong suggested, in no more than a small whisper. And it was in that moment that Youngkyun noticed Jaeyoon’s hand on Inseong’s thigh. It was an innocent touch, but Youngkyun couldn’t shake the pang of uncomfortableness that shook his body with it. It was almost like Inseong didn’t want Jaeyoon touching him, but wouldn’t say anything against it. Why would he invite Youngkyun? Why would he-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Youngkyun… could watch over him? Did… did Jaeyoon want him there? Was it Inseong that wanted him there or Jaeyoon?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, he was thinking way too much into it. It was just an innocent touch. Inseong was just being nice. Nothing was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see if I can go,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, attempting any form of comfort for the boy he was currently convincing himself didn’t need to be comforted. “I hope so. If not, I’ll still donate, both food and money.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t respond to that, keeping his head down. And Youngkyun was done thinking Inseong was just like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to tell Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a meeting with Daniel from Xang this afternoon,” Youngkyun spoke up, the lie easily rolling off his tongue. Had he picked that up from Sanghyuk, or had he just lied so much in his life up until now that it was like a personality trait for him? “So I’m sorry I can’t hang out for longer, but we need to talk about the new implements for the employees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries at all,” Jaeyoon told him with a smile. “Inseong and I will stay for a while if that’s alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Youngkyun said with a smile and a small bow, only now feeling a tiny pang of suspected guilt for leaving Inseong alone with Jaeyoon after having all those thoughts. But they were in public. People would still easily recognize them. Nothing would happen, right? Nothing would happen anyways, right? “I’ll go first, then. Thank you for inviting me out to lunch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t get more than halfway down the street, well out of sight of the small cafe, before hastily pulling his phone out of his pocket. He hadn’t exactly been walking calmly to where he was now, though, rather his steps had been hurried and uneven. Why was he so affected by his own speculations? Jaeyoon was a good person, it had to be Inseong. It had to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved his thumb to tap Sanghyuk’s contact on the screen, but before he could, Sanghyuk’s caller ID popped up on his phone. Youngkyun furrowed his brows for a second before quickly accepting the call. “Sanghyuk?” Youngkyun asked quickly, pulling the phone to his ear. “I was just about to call you. So I just met with Jaeyoon and Inseong, and about Inseong it’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Forget about Inseong right now, Kyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun actually found himself freezing in his spot at the sound of Sanghyuk telling him not to focus on Inseong. His heels scraped against the sidewalk as the wind blew through his hair, his breath caught in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For… forget about… Sanghyuk what’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minsung is missing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that instant, Youngkyun felt his lungs lose every bit of air they had in them as his eyes blinked away the shock from the information. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not… not </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> Minsung, right? Right, Sanghyuk? Not Minjun’s brother Minsung, right?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What other Minsungs do you know?!” Sanghyuk asked through the call, clearly just as stressed as Youngkyun felt right now. “Minsung is missing. I got a call from a few boys from the gang and they told me he was last seen at three o’clock this morning. Apparently the idiot went out in the middle of the night looking for more alcohol to drown himself in. Never came back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he got drunk and passed out somewhere,” Youngkyun suggested with a broken voice, clinging onto any possibility that it was just a horrible coincidence and that the missing people wouldn’t start showing up all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They said he wasn’t already drunk when he left,” Sanghyuk mumbled into the phone. “But maybe! I don’t know. Chanhee and I already checked the streets by the store he was heading to and we can’t find jack shit. We’ve been looking for an hour now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“AN HOUR?!” Youngkyun screamed into the phone, dragging a few wandering gazes to him that he couldn’t even bother to care about. “Why the fuck am I only hearing about this an hour after-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I was hoping he was just passed out drunk, too!” Sanghyuk suddenly screamed, cutting Youngkyun off. “But we can’t- Youngkyun we can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>find</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. He’s not here. We wanted to- </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to find him so badly, but he just isn’t here. His phone isn’t even ringing and there’s no trace of him. We don’t know what to do and at this point I can’t expect anything but the worst. Kyun, he’s not just missing, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just like Minjun, and just like Intak, and just like Heungsoo still is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can we do right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can we do </span>
  <em>
    <span>right now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Youngkyun asked again, stressing his words as he finally began walking again. He pushed himself forward, forcing himself to keep a fast pace as he searched the area for any way to get around. He hadn’t driven here, he took a bus, and the next bus wouldn’t be here for a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard Sanghyuk sigh from the other end of the call. “We can warn your employees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Warn-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because they were probably going to find another body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know it’s the biggest possibility right? That he’s already… that he’s already dead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Youngkyun mumbled, licking his lips as he blinked away any hesitation he had. He knew it. He didn’t want to believe it, but he knew the odds. “Okay. Okay we’ll go from site to site warning the employees. We need to look ourselves, too. Can you pick me up? My house isn’t far from here and I need my goddamn car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re here,” Sanghyuk spoke, ending the call as the familiar black car pulled over to the curb of the street. Youngkyun didn’t hesitate a second before pulling the door open, jumping in the backseat and closing the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Drive fast,” Youngkyun instructed, Chanhee already in the middle of pulling back into the street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, would you like to drive instead?” Chanhee asked, to which Youngkyun put his head down and nodded for Chanhee to continue what he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys… this makes Minsung the fourth missing person. But… it’s so-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We aren’t grouping him with the others until we find him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We grouped Heungsoo with them,” Sanghyuk pointed out, turning around in his seat to glare at Youngkyun. “You think I like this either? These are my boys and they’re fucking dying. I’m not in the fucking mood Youngkyun. Stop being so goddamn hopeful when we all know he’s probably already dead. We’re not going to Xang property to search for a drunk Minsung, are we? No, we’re going to warn employees that they could find another dead fucking body.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get it,” Youngkyun hissed at him. “These are your boys, I get it. But Minjun wasn’t your boy. These aren’t your people who are finding them. This affects both of us, so stop acting like you have the only right to be-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How about the both of you just shut the fuck up for once and stop fighting because I swear to god I’m about to crash this fucking car just to get you two to shut the hell up,” Chanhee spoke up from the front seat, silencing both of them instantly. Chanhee sped up the car a little bit more to swerve around traffic, clearly in an agitated rush, much like both of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to tell Taeyang,” Youngkyun mumbled from the back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, we don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk shut the hell up, it’s Taeyang’s company just as much as it is Youngkyun’s,” Chanhee interrupted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang knows who Minsung is. If you want to make sure he doesn’t know anything about his involvement with Dawon’s gangs, call him yourself and tell him to get his ass moving like the rest of us. Tell him you’re helping, I don’t fucking care. Just tell him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say one more thing about Taeyang and I’ll eject you from this car,” Chanhee warned to Sanghyuk, who simply crossed his arms and huffed. He turned his attention to Youngkyun. “We’re here. Get your car, get moving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What sites are we each taking? It’s better if we spread out,” Youngkyun spoke up, bracing himself against the back seat as the car slowed to a stop in front of his house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take the ones closest to where Minsung was at the time, also around where he lives,” Sanghyuk spoke up instantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll search those ones too,” Chanhee told him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you won’t,” Sanghyuk rejected immediately, and Youngkyun could already hear another fight about to start. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The fuck I won’t? You think you can just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, we’re looking for a god damn dead body. You can search any sites you want, as long as you’re the least likely to find him. I won’t put you in a situation where you have better luck at finding a </span>
  <em>
    <span>body</span>
  </em>
  <span> than I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go with Sanghyuk to those areas,” Youngkyun spoke up without giving Chanhee a moment to respond. “Chanhee, you and Taeyang can take the sites outside around that area, just to be safe. We don’t know where Minsung could be, so it’s safe to warn everybody just in case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Chanhee agreed in a quiet voice, no fight left in him. “Okay, Taeyang and I will warn the other sites. You and Sanghyuk go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take the eastern sites of the area, you take the western ones,” Youngkyun told Sanghyuk quickly before pulling himself out of the car and into his own. He was out of the driveway before even fully putting his seatbelt on, steering haphazardly with one hand as he clicked the seatbelt into place with his other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call Taeyang,” Youngkyun ordered, the car obeying his order and bringing Taeyang’s contact to the front screen of his car. Taeyang was busy with work, so he obviously wouldn’t answer Youngkyun’s call unless he understood it was important. So when the call stopped ringing, Youngkyun just ordered the car to call him again. And again. And again, until Taeyang finally picked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minsung is missing right now,” Youngkyun spoke quickly, not even giving Taeyang the time to process that they had an actual emergency. “Sanghyuk and I are going to check the sites around where Minsung was, but I need you to do a sweep of the outer sites with Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold on hold on hold on!” Taeyang spoke into the call, clearly shuffling around as he prepared his mind to deal with this. “Why do you think… why are you assuming-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Sanghyuk and Chanhee have already been searching for an hour and they can’t find him. Minsung’s phone isn’t ringing. We have to assume the worst, Taeyang, and you know it. So please, drop whatever you’re doing and help us search.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The line went silent for a moment before Taeyang cursed under his breath. “Okay. But why are Sanghyuk and Chanhee searching, too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Minsung is in one of Sanghyuk’s gangs, and you know how he is,” Youngkyun explained, technically not lying, as he turned the wheel of his car to drive down the street leading to the first site he would search. “Thank you, love. I’ll meet up with you later. Text Chanhee for his location.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be careful, Kyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun ended the call quickly, placing both of his hands back on the wheel. “Send Sanghyuk and Chanhee the VIP Xang passes,” Youngkyun ordered through his car. “Text Sanghyuk and Chanhee ‘I’m giving you these passes to get access into property. Don’t be an asshole to my employees.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car responded with a confirmation of the message and document before quickly doing as it was told. And by the time it was done, Youngkyun was at the first site. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Each site was about the same to be honest. Each one was filled with dozens of workers that all raised their heads at his arrival. Some that knew him waved, others that didn’t straightened their backs, and those that knew </span>
  <em>
    <span>of</span>
  </em>
  <span> him simply nodded in acknowledgement before returning to work. Youngkyun went to each manager of each site, explaining the situation and Minsung’s relation to Minjun. The manager at the first site even helped him print pictures of Minsung to post at the other sites. They all promised to spread the message, too, although Youngkyun still did a sweep of the sites anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asked, at every site, what was going on around three in the morning, but most of the sites just explained they had been empty. That was convenient for a killer, that Xang sites were always abandoned come night time. Youngkyun would quickly think about increasing security of each and every property site if they really did find Minsung like the others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only one site had mentioned having workers on property that early in the morning, but they hadn’t found or seen anything suspicious. Youngkyun took that in good faith and thanked the employees before moving on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, his legs grew tired as he walked across almost a dozen sites by foot, explaining the situation over and over again and checking the property like he would just find a body laying out in the open for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was tired. Nobody had called him since he sent them on their ways, but he worried if Taeyang thought this was just useless. As he scanned through another site, all he could think about was how much information Youngkyun had kept from him. Taeyang didn’t even know about Heungsoo. He felt a puddle of guilt pooling in his gut as he continued searching, and he considered calling Taeyang to just explain. But he couldn’t do that to Sanghyuk, so he just continued searching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look tired,” Daniel commented towards him. Youngkyun, after searching so many sites he couldn’t count them any more, had finally made it to a site Daniel was working at today. Daniel had switched sites since the bodies had been found a while ago, and Youngkyun was just grateful to see him. He really felt so tired. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Youngkyun admitted with a nod, walking side by side with the manager at the pace of a turtle. But Youngkyun didn’t mind. It felt nice to take a small breather. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should rest for a while. You have other people searching, right?” Youngkyun nodded, but he barely felt the energy needed to respond. “So take a seat, Kyun. You’ve clearly been stressed since hours ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s been…” Youngkyun looked up to the sky to find the sun almost reaching the horizon, dipping the sky into darker colors with hints of fire orange around the skyline, “at least five hours,” he finally admitted. “Maybe more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Youngkyun, take a break.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to find him,” Youngkyun mumbled, looking up to Daniel before looking back down to the ground. “We have to find Minsung. I don’t think I can stop looking until we do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’ll pass out first,” Daniel admitted, grabbing the sleeve of Youngkyun’s shirt and gently tugging him over to the small supply storage by the side of the building in progress. He pulled out a cooler, easily opening it and pulling out a water bottle. The plastic was coated with frosty condensation, and Youngkyun reached out for it knowing how cold it was. He didn’t realize until now how thirsty he really was. “Have you eaten?” Daniel asked as Youngkyun lifted the bottle to his lips, savoring the coolness of the fresh water. It felt like curing a dry desert. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I ate before I started searching. I won’t die,” he finally responded, capping the bottle. “I’m fine. But thank you for the water.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go home soon,” Daniel urged him with a kind smile, one that clearly said he only wanted the best for Youngkyun. Youngkyun did his best to return it. “I’m heading out in a few minutes actually. My wife is waiting with dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop trying to make me hungry,” Youngkyun snickered at him, pushing him lightly and swapping the bottle between his hands. “Go home. I’m going to stay and search the site just a little bit more before I go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And will you go home?” Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow. “Or will you just go to more sites until it’s so dark you can’t see where you’re putting your own two feet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled, looking down to the bottle in his hands. “I think you know me too well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll call Taeyang,” he threatened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s out searching, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he’d drop everything to come and pick you up, and you know that,” Daniel pointed out, grabbing a water bottle for himself before giving Youngkyun a nod. “Go home or call Taeyang after this, kay? I’m heading out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight,” Youngkyun wished the manager, lifting his hand in a wave. His smile lasted only as long as Daniel still had the ability to turn around and see him. As soon as the last trace of his presence was gone, Youngkyun deflated. His shoulders sank heavy with the weight of his lack of energy and his eyes sunk in guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should call Taeyang,” Youngkyun found himself mumbling to nobody but himself, the area around him now completely devoid of any person. The last of the workers were packing up for the day. The manager was already leaving for home. The place was emptying out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To be honest, Youngkyun never felt worse about anything than he did about lying to Taeyang. He wanted to tell him so badly. He wanted to be honest with him and just come clean, but it felt like his loyalty to Sanghyuk just wired his mouth shut every time the thought simply arose to his mind. He couldn’t do that to Sanghyuk. Even if it meant lying to Taeyang. And that hurt worse than anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the least he could do was check up on him. It wouldn’t do much, but Youngkyun hoped it would make him feel a bit less guilty if he called his husband. He hoped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun reached into the pocket of his pants, pulling his phone out with a weak grip. It started ringing in his hand before he even had the chance to turn it on. But it wasn’t Taeyang calling. It was Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Youngkyun asked immediately, holding the phone tightly to his ear with both hands as he just hoped to hear any news. He just wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Anything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was it. That was all the news he needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You found him,” Youngkyun mumbled, his eyes dropping to the ground as his voice seemed to fade away with the receding sun. All at once it felt like his hands went numb, a wave of… </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> traveling over every nerve in his body until he felt so numb he wasn’t sure he was still breathing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did his shoes scrape against the ground because he almost stumbled, or did he do that to shift his weight? He couldn’t tell. He had wanted to hear anything so badly… but this wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He didn’t want Minsung to be dead. He wanted something, but this wasn’t it. Anything else. He wanted anything else, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We found him,” Sanghyuk answered dully, his voice no more than a faint mumble against the phone. “The cops are on their way already. You should get here.” But how could Youngkyun get there when he felt like he couldn’t already move? “Kyun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was as if his voice was just tied to the wall of his throat, unable to let any words pass his lips. Why did he feel so gone right now? This wasn’t the first body that had been found, or even the second. Why was he so affected all of the sudden? He could handle this, couldn’t he? He had handled it before, so why was he reacting so badly against his will?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he… is…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun really felt like he was choking on the air he was breathing now. His lungs felt like they were collapsing inside his chest, every cell of them being ripped apart as the fabric of who he was just caved in. His legs felt unfit to hold him up, and the fact that he still held the phone to his ear seemed nothing more than a miracle at the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… he’s dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Youngkyun knew that. He knew it the second Sanghyuk told him they found him, but why did it feel like a bullet ripping through his chest?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s… uhm, on his neck there’s a needle prick like you said. He’s pretty badly beaten, too. The cops will want to talk to you so just… can you get here please? I don’t… I’m all alone here right now so please just come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t give him the chance to respond before hanging up, but Youngkyun was glad. Because the second the line went dead, a tear rolled down Youngkyun’s cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the absence of anyone to hear or see him, Youngkyun really felt himself breaking apart like a puzzle thrown over the cliff. He could imagine his pieces breaking apart in the wind into smaller chunks as they fell to the ground. He could picture them falling farther and farther as gravity pushed down on every single one of them. And finally, Youngkyun fell to the ground, and broke apart just like a thousand puzzle pieces smashing against the earth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears started rolling down his cheeks before he could stop them as his hands dug into the dirt he was now laying in. His lips pulled back in a horrible jaw aching grimace as he tried to control himself, but he couldn’t. His whole body lurched forward, sending him on his knees as he brought his hands to hug around his chest. The water bottle in his hands clashed to the ground but he couldn’t bother to watch it roll away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His breathing became worse, as if there was a net pressed against his lips so thick he couldn’t get enough air past his lips, but he refused to think of breathing through his nose. It was like breathing was so close, and seemed so easy, but he couldn’t manage it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His fingers twitched as he pressed them harder into his arms, hugging himself tightly as more tears fell. His head hung to the ground, tears falling in streams from his cheeks as he struggled to stop the small shaking that had started in the tips of his fingers and traveled to his shoulders. He wanted to stop himself, to tell himself that he was just being stupid and he could handle it. But it didn’t feel like he could handle it. And it made him wonder if he had ever really handled it at any point in time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt himself gasping, his lips wide open as he tried to suck in any air he could. His fingers moved to claw at his shirt, under which his heart was beating insanely fast. His useless fingers just continued to claw at his chest, banging above his heart like it would just stop him from being like this, but even he had to know it would do nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And all at once everything seemed to set into his nerves. Minsung was dead. Minjun was dead. Intak was dead. They were real people, and they were really dead. They were finding bodies and Youngkyun didn’t know who was doing it or how to stop it. And he couldn’t stop it. It just kept happening. Everything just kept spiraling around him and he couldn’t stop it. He wanted to just freeze time and figure it out but he couldn’t. He didn’t have enough time. He didn’t have the ability to figure it out. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t handle it!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wasn’t sure how long he kneeled on the dirt and pebbles just crying before his fingers finally let go of the material of his shirt. It was when his tears stopped falling in place of just an empty feeling that filled his entire chest. It was when he truly felt like he had given up. And it was when the bottom of the sun had finally reached the horizon, spreading a display of purples and blacks across the sky. There were no more vibrant oranges and yellows. It was just a dark, truthful sunset. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was then that Youngkyun realized what had really just happened to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was this what it was like for Sanghyuk when he had anxiety attacks? Was this what Sanghyuk went through almost every month when he had to excuse himself from a situation just to catch his breath? Did Sanghyuk really just… live his life going through this much pain and hurt every day of his life? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun knew he had them, but honestly he never knew what it felt like to have your breathing cut off completely, like your body wasn’t capable of the function. He never knew what it felt like not to be able to stop crying until he was curled in a ball on the ground. He didn’t know. And he wished he still didn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to go see him,” Youngkyun decided quickly, forcing himself to slowly rise to his feet. Sanghyuk was alone right now and Youngkyun didn’t want to let him be alone. Even if he felt like he could barely walk himself, he wouldn’t let Sanghyuk be alone, even if he was fine and handling the situation. It didn’t matter. Youngkyun wouldn’t leave him alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed himself to start moving back towards his car, the toes of his shoes kicking the water bottle at his feet across the dirt. He huffed in what little annoyance he could manage before walking over to it with nothing more than a blank expression and leaning down to grab it. His fingers curled around the body of it, grazing the dirt it had rolled into. But when he picked the bottle up and held it into the little light still covering the property, it wasn’t dirt and dust he found covering a small spot on the bottle. It was blood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun dropped the bottle and fell away from it before he could even process the drops of blood on the tips of his fingers as well. His body fell down to the ground before the bottle did, his legs kicking him back away from it with a yelp of shock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything went still once the bottle finished falling to the ground. Youngkyun’s body froze at the sight, like his mind was already a mush so it couldn’t seem to process it at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Blood,” Youngkyun found himself mumbling, his bottom lip quivering slightly. “It’s not Minsung,” he told himself immediately, knowing exactly why his body had reacted so badly. “Sanghyuk found Minsung. It’s not Minsung. A worker… a worker probably just cut themselves or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit the tip of his tongue with just enough pressure for him to feel the slight pain as he looked to the bottle. It reminded him that this was real, and he wasn’t just losing his mind again. “I need to get my shit together,” he mumbled to himself, eyes held tightly around the bottle that laid still on the ground in front of him. “This isn’t okay. This isn’t how I need to react right now. It’s just blood. Just blood,” he mumbled to himself, slowly pushing himself forward again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed the bottle carefully with his fingers, turning it over to see the spot of blood. And next to it on the ground laid another. And another. And more specs covering the rocks. And more spots after that, and they just became heavier and heavier as Youngkyun’s eyes followed them to a stack of plywood in the corner, tucked against the side of the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind felt frozen, but suddenly his body wasn’t. He moved over to the wood carefully, observing it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minsung is dead,” Youngkyun found himself whispering to himself, looking over the pile of wood. “But… but Heungsoo… is still missing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t know what came over him in that very moment. His feet were braced against the ground in seconds, his fingers working to pry the wood away from the pile piece by piece. He threw them away from the pile up and behind him to litter the ground around him, but he didn’t even care. He just kept tearing away at the wood until his fingers were littered with scratches and tiny little splinters he couldn’t even force himself to care about at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when he tore the last piece of wood away, his brain stopped working. He barely had the time to register the bruised and rotting body in front of him before he was stumbling back away from it, a scream ripping through his throat as he fell to the ground. His head hitting the wood piled up behind him was the last feeling he could register before everything flashed to black.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Some Things You Can't Take Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Are you okay? Are you feeling lightheaded? Can you see me? How many fingers am I holding up? Can you breathe? Can you understand what I’m saying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, ask me one more question and I’ll punt you out the window,” Youngkyun groaned, glaring through lidded eyes to the over hyped and way over dramatic boy. Sanghyuk went silent with a pout before Youngkyun gave up, releasing himself to fall back into the less than comfortable hospital bed. He sank into the mattress and sheets, eyes just drifting away as the lights from the ceiling danced above him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The… the ground is three stories down,” Sanghyuk pointed out quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you’ll fall three stories when I punt you out the window,” Youngkyun replied easily, a smirk falling on his lips as he imagined it. Would he ever push Sanghyuk out of a window? No. Did the boy maybe deserve it just a tiny bit? In Youngkyun’s mind, yeah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be your tragic demise,” Chanhee commented with a smile, sitting up from the couch in the middle of the room as he walked over to the side of Youngkyun’s bed. He grabbed his hand comfortingly, not saying much as he held him tightly. It was comforting, and certainly more appreciated than anything Sanghyuk was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“CEO pushes me out a window after I care too much and I fall three stories: my villain origin story,” Sanghyuk narrated, and Youngkyun really couldn’t stop himself before the snort left his throat and nose, his whole body lurching a bit with the laugh that slammed against his body to be released. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s my villain origin story?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Sanghyuk. “Make me one. Come on, be creative.” He turned his head back to stare up at the ceiling, waiting patiently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk seemed to think for a moment, the whole room falling silent in anticipation. “Youngkyun… oh okay. Your husband leaves you for EXO’s Kai.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’d let him,” Youngkyun rejected quickly, causing Chanhee to have to tip his head back to hold back his laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHAT?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d let Taeyang have a night with Kai! It’s reasonable!” Youngkyun defended, pushing himself up. “Can you imagine being able to brag about that? Bro hell yeah, I’d let him peg K-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay I really don’t want to listen to you talking about your husband pegging other men anymore thanks so much for that,” Sanghyuk interjected quickly, shutting the conversation down as he took a step back from the hospital bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged. “Ask Taeyang. My exception is Monsta X’s Changkyun. Ask him. He’d let me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you guys just openly talk about banging other men?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only EXO and Changkyun,” Youngkyun clarified with a straight expression before Chanhee simply couldn’t hold himself together anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold on hold on!” he called out, moving his hands to hold onto the railing on the edge of the bed instead. “You’re telling me Taeyang gets exceptions for every member of EXO but you only get Changkyun?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang only gets ONE member of EXO!” Youngkyun told him quickly, pushing himself up to point an accusing finger at Chanhee. “But he can have whichever one he wants.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t… I can’t believe this,” Sanghyuk mumbled, moving his hands to push his fingers through his hair. “This is insane. What the fuck?!” And just as Sanghyuk finished saying that, Taeyang opened the door, pushing it open with his back while he cradled a bag of food in his arms. “Taeyang! Front and center!” Sanghyuk called quickly, marching up to him. Taeyang’s eyes filled with momentary fear and confusion, but Youngkyun made no effort to stop the boy. “You and Kyun have exceptions?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang’s eyebrows furrowed for a second before realization dawned on him, his mouth falling open in a smile. “Oh yeah. Kyun gets Changkyun and I get any one member of EXO.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk just dropped to the ground, staring off into the void in shock as Taeyang moved past him to put the bag of food down. Chanhee followed him quickly, rushing over to help set it up. Sanghyuk was of no help. He just kind of crouched on the floor in an existential crisis of wondering how Youngkyun and Taeyang could just be like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Chanhee moved to rip the bag open, which quickly drew Sanghyuk’s undivided attention, Taeyang moved over to Youngkyun’s bed. Youngkyun moved to sit up, smiling at Taeyang. He wanted to hug him; as his husband, he had every right to do so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun put the best pout he could manage across his lips, looking up at Taeyang with a sympathetic look as he held his arms out wide to accept Taeyang. The sunshine boy was quick to laugh, his eyes crinkling with the beauty of a thousand stars before he moved over to the edge of the bed, leaning forward to fall into Youngkyun’s arms. Youngkyun didn’t wait to pull him off his balance, pulling him onto the bed, or more specifically, on top of Youngkyun himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun really?” Taeyang asked, unimpressed as he moved to quickly roll off of Youngkyun, opting instead to share the bed with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes really,” Youngkyun deadpanned, burying his head into Taeyang’s chest as he curled into his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even started eating yet and I’m going to vomit,” Sanghyuk commented from over by the food, but to be honest Youngkyun didn’t give two shits about the food right now. He had Taeyang, so why on Earth would he even think about moving? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aim it out the window,” Youngkyun commented lazily, letting his eyes flutter shut as he made himself even more comfortable. He didn’t bother asking if Taeyang was comfortable in this position because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was comfortable. Taeyang could spare a sore arm for an hour or two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Taeyang mumbled to him quietly, his lips grazing across Youngkyun’s forehead as he talked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt himself smiling at the sound of his voice. “I’m okay. I just… freaked out a bit. I’m okay now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re never going anywhere without me ever again,” Taeyang mumbled with a small laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Youngkyun agreed easily, snuggling his head deeper into Taeyang. “I can live with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m hungry and you two are being disgusting,” Sanghyuk commented, followed by the sound of him placing a small container of food down on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We could be more disgusting if you really want to test us,” Taeyang threatened, immediately causing Sanghyuk to scream in protest. Chanhee joined him in that one, quickly stating how happy he was they were enjoying themselves as they were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you guys hungry though?” Chanhee asked after a small moment of laughter filled with contentment. Honestly, Youngkyun understood it. When was the last time the four of them were together where they really didn’t fight at all? Times like this were rare, despite the fact that each and every one of them would do anything for anyone else in the group. “Youngkyun, you need to eat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t make a dirty joke. Don’t make a dirty joke. Don’t make a dirty joke.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll eat Taeyang.” He couldn’t help himself. The comment was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and all that followed was even more screams and calls of protest to the disgusting comment. Taeyang laughed though, and Youngkyun could feel his chest rise with sporadic laughter, so he couldn’t bring himself to regret it even slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Taeyang, off. Youngkyun needs to eat,” Chanhee ordered quickly, but Youngkyun just made sure to latch onto Taeyang in a way that showed he had absolutely no plans of letting him go. He was far too comfortable, and to be honest, he would rather starve than let go of Taeyang’s warmth right now. “Really?” Chanhee asked, unimpressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sick…” he begged with a pout. “Just feed me like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You had an anxiety attack and fainted when you hit your head lightly. If anything you’re just weak,” Sanghyuk commented, walking over to the bed with a spoon full of whatever. He didn’t hesitate to pull Youngkyun’s jaw open to stuff the food inside. Youngkyun jerked up quickly away from Taeyang to avoid choking while Sanghyuk just smiled smugly, stepping back to the food. At least it tasted good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate you,” Youngkyun directed at Sanghyuk with a pout. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you gonna do? Push me out the window?” Sanghyuk asked smugly, stepping back with open arms like he was ready to accept a challenge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t test me,” Youngkyun threatened with slitted eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh stop it,” Taeyang cut in, wrapping his arms around Youngkyun’s waist and pulling him back down to the bed. Youngkyun complied, only to forget any grudges as he melted into Taeyang’s arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, man, you have to slow down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun barely heard the words from across his office as he grabbed another piece of paper from the never shrinking pile in front of him, lazily tossing it into a small pile forming on the ground next to his chair. The paper glided across the air below it, sending it off the edge of the pile, just like every other paper that had missed its destination. To be honest, it was hardly a pile anymore. The papers just covered the floor all in one congregated group and Youngkyun had the audacity to call it a pile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he returned to sit straight at his desk again, he had to move his hand to push his reading glasses just a bit higher up on his face. He moved his fingers to grab the next paper, barely having to glance over it before tossing it lazily on the ground with the last one. He hadn’t even bothered to try and get it in the pile this time, rather he just moved his arm to his right side and dropped it. It floated until it landed upside down, but Youngkyun didn’t care nor did he have the energy to fix it right now. It would piss him off later when he had to go through and organize them all, but that was later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh right. Seokwoo had been speaking to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked up with a small startle, completely having forgotten the boy had even spoken to him before. His hands paused in the action of picking up yet another piece of paper as Seokwoo stood up from the floor. The small light he had in his office, mostly given from lamps on his desk and the faded ceiling lights, illuminated the man beautifully. With his creased suit and undone tie he looked like a true workaholic, but a decent one. He didn’t have bags under his eyes or a tired demeanor like Youngkyun was sure to have within the next hour. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Youngkyun breathed out to let him know he finally had his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo sighed before making his way up to the front of Youngkyun’s desk which was just a mess of papers and files. He had three stacks of papers and reports in front of him, all unorganized and printed haphazardly, while another four smaller piles sat scattered around his desk. One had made its home on top of his laptop while the other sat half hanging off the corner of his desk. There was a semi-neat pile of already organized papers building up in the right corner that Youngkyun had already gone through, though it was obvious as time went on his ability to care about the orientation of the papers was becoming a bit lazy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call it a night,” Seokwoo told him gently, placing the tips of his fingers on Youngkyun’s desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At Seokwoo’s words, Youngkyun turned his head to look out the windows in his office. They were big, giving him a beautiful view of Seoul from one of the highest floors in the building. Outside it was dark, the faint stars beaming through the clouds and light pollution to give the city a beautiful overhang of light. And yet it felt dark in his office, which he guessed it was. The lights weren’t turned up all the way because they had been giving everybody a headache.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What time is it?” Youngkyun asked himself, pushing back the sleeve of his shirt to look at his watch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Almost midnight,” Juho yawned from the floor. Youngkyun pushed himself up from his chair to look over his desk, only to see Juho sprawled out across the floor of his office, surrounded by several hundred papers either filed into manila folders, paper-clipped together, or strewn about like he had thrown them out of frustration. But now he laid flat against the ground, arms out wide, and not a care in the world that he was laying on a decent amount of his papers, probably crumpling them in the process. “Youngkyun I wanna go home,” he continued with a tired, groggy voice that just melted as he spoke. His words combined as he spoke, too lazy to separate them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed with a nod, tapping the surface of his desk before falling back into his chair. “I know. But there’s so much to organize. We can’t push off filing these papers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think we should just catch the bastard and throw him over a bridge,” Seokwoo suggested, falling down to Youngkyun’s couch with a sigh of defeat, deflating much in the same way Juho was. It seemed they all had a mutual agreement to take a break.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that would do much good,” Youngkyun said with a small laugh, a bit sad that he was too tired and exhausted to manage anything more than that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we even allowed to say that as lawyers?” Juho asked, sending the room into a thick silence before all three of them broke out into tired giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably not,” Seokwoo admitted with a laugh. “But Youngkyun doesn’t care. He’s thinking the same thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not thinking about murder!” Youngkyun defended, wanting to sit straight up to glare at Seokwoo but really not having the energy to. “I just want to catch him so he stops killing people and leaving their bodies on my property.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it’s a she,” Juho suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then she’s a bitch,” Seokwoo chimed in without hesitation. “Does she know how much paperwork the four of us have to do now because of her? I don’t care if she’s a woman, I’ll beat her ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a lawyer talk about beating a woman before,” Youngkyun snorted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care what gender this person is. I’ll beat their ass. They deserve it,” Seokwoo continued rambling. “Because of them, now we have to do all this work. I don’t want to file a thousand papers about missing bodies and dead people because they can’t get a fucking hobby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think they already have a hobby,” Juho commented without hesitation, and Youngkyun could hear Seokwoo reaching over from the couch and slapping Juho’s arm with the very little energy he had left. It caused Youngkyun’s chest to rise in a laugh as his lips turned into a smile. Juho’s joke wasn’t funny in the slightest, in fact it was morbid. But Youngkyun was so tired, and because of that he figured he might just be desensitized to everything for the night. He had been staring at papers for hours now, filing statements about bodies and missing persons cases. He organized over a dozen versions of new safety procedures for every site in South Korea, and he made mroe statements than he could count on behalf of those found at his company’s sites. He was tired of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They need a new one,” Seokwoo mumbled, his voice very clearly drifting off. Youngkyun wanted to tell him to stay awake because they still had a lot of work to do, but he could feel himself drifting off as well. He knew he should wake himself back up, but falling asleep just felt like such a nice idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t get much more of a chance to contemplate it, because what felt like a second later, Youngkyun was opening his eyes to his arms around Taeyang’s neck. Taeyang’s arms held onto Youngkyun’s legs as he was draped over his back. Youngkyun couldn’t really tell where the boy was taking him, but he could smell his cologne and knew he was safe. Out of instinct, he curled his arms around Taeyang’s chest more, hearing a huff of amusement from the boy below him. Taeyang didn’t say anything, rather he just continued to carry Youngkyun until he fell asleep again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun woke up again briefly when he was set down on what felt like his bed. He curled himself into the sheets and he thought he could remember Taeyang taking his shoes off for him, but he wasn’t sure. He drifted off in between, but he remembered feeling Taeyang in his arms again, smelling his cologne as he drifted back to sleep with a smile on his face. He felt Taeyang’s fingers in his hair, and his lips on his forehead. Finally, feeling as safe and assured as he could possibly be by Taeyang’s presence, he allowed himself to fall asleep for real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was still dark when he woke up again. Well… it felt dark. Youngkyun hadn’t actually opened his eyes yet, but he could tell it was dark. He could feel the night around him, and without opening his eyes he could guess how late at night, even though he was positive it was early in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His arms tightened around the body already pressed against his chest, a small smile coming to his lips as his fingers curled into the material of Taeyang’s shirt. He buried his head into Taeyang’s chest, scooching himself closer to the boy in the bed. He wanted to be warmer by stealing Taeyang’s heat, but no matter how close he got, Taeyang just didn’t feel warm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you cold?” Youngkyun found himself mumbling, barely even understanding himself. The words just kind of spilled from his lips without thought. But Taeyang didn’t answer him, probably still asleep. Youngkyun groaned, moving his hand to poke at Taeyang’s chest to wake him up. “Taeyang,” Youngkyun mumbled through his sleep, pushing lightly against Taeyang’s chest to wake him up. “Taeyang are you cold?” he continued, the boy still not waking up. “Taeyang if you’re… if you’re cold we can…” Youngkyun yawned in the middle of speaking, “get more blankets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun placed his hand on Taeyang’s chest one more time to push against it, but when his fingers fell on his chest, he stopped. Youngkyun’s body froze, his fingers twitching as his mind suddenly sparked awake. Youngkyun’s eyes slowly cracked open as his hand waited, sitting on Taeyang’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Taeyang wasn’t breathing. And he wasn’t warm. And he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>smell</span>
  </em>
  <span> like Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was sitting up straight before he could think of anything else, but the bed in front of him was empty. The blankets scrunched up around the spot Taeyang was supposed to be in, but he was gone. It was dark, and the rain outside that Youngkyun couldn’t remember being there before pounded against the window like a hellish rainstorm. And all Youngkyun could do was look with wide eyes at the empty spot in the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun couldn’t remember getting out of bed, but he remembered almost stumbling down the stairs as he ran down to the main area of the house as fast as he could. He had to grab onto the railing as his feet stumbled over each other, and when he got to the bottom of the stairs he felt like he could barely stand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“TAEYANG!” He screamed, panicking as he ran over to the living room, his eyes barely glancing over the empty, dark piano as his feet carried him quickly to the living room. His eyes scanned over everything, even as he made his way into the kitchen, but Taeyang just wasn’t there. He continued calling out for him, his whole body shaking as he ran down the hallway to the offices. He opened the door to Taeyang’s office first, slamming the door open so hard it slammed into the wall behind it and cracked it to a million pieces, and Youngkyun felt his heart shatter in the same way when he realized Taeyang wasn’t there. He moved behind himself, stumbling into his own office, but it was just as empty and dark as every other room in the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang…” Youngkyun felt himself mumbling again, looking around the house with shaking hands. ”Tae… Taeyang-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, Kyun, hey calm down, it’s me you can- hey!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like Youngkyun had been thrown to the ground when he finally tore his eyes open, his heart hammering against his chest like he had been moments away from having a heart attack. His fingers curled into Taeyang’s chest tightly, his knuckles turning white. His breathing was erratic, his lips parted so he could take in the air he had lost screaming. Taeyang looked at him with scared eyes, holding him tightly in his arms, but Taeyang was breathing and he felt warm, and he smelled just like he always did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Youngkyun breathed out, collapsing into Taeyang’s arms and pulling him as close to his chest as he possibly could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just a nightmare. It was just a stupid dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun…” Taeyang mumbled, and that was when Youngkyun realized he had begun crying. His chest rose and deflated with silent sobs as he hid himself in Taeyang’s chest. “Kyun are you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun couldn’t lose Taeyang. And maybe he was overreacting from his stupid dream, but he wasn’t losing Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to show you something,” Youngkyun decided before he could stop himself. He pulled away from Taeyang and grabbed his hand without hesitation, pushing himself up from bed and pulling Taeyang with him. He grabbed the car keys from the bedside table, shoving them in his pocket quickly. Taeyang followed him without question, but his eyes went wide as he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun! You just woke up! Are you sure you don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head as he lifted his other hand to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. He pulled Taeyang down the stairs carefully with him, barely slipping on his shoes before pulling Taeyang to the front doors with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun what are you doing?!” Taeyang called at him, eyes wide as Youngkyun pushed open the doors and pulled the boy outside. He fixed the heels of his shoes as he walked, ignoring Taeyang’s worried questions as he continued to pull him along. “Youngkyun stop!” Taeyang finally called, grabbing onto Youngkyun’s shoulders and pulling him to a stop in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun realized how ridiculous this must seem to Taeyang. He was still wearing a disheveled suit from work, two different colored and styled shoes on his feet with his hair sticking up in every direction, meanwhile Taeyang was still in his pajamas, barefoot as Youngkyun pulled him out to the car at what must have been close to three in the morning. Ridiculous was an understatement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just… let’s just go back inside and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Youngkyun yelled at him quickly, tears threatening to spill over his eyes again. “No, no, you have to come with me now. Please, Tae.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?!” Taeyang asked, grabbing his shoulders and moving closer to him. “Kyun, it was just a dream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! This isn’t a dream! I don’t want to lose you and I don’t care if I’m overreacting!” It was the guilt in him spilling out right now, and he knew Taeyang couldn’t possibly understand that. But it was tearing away at Youngkyun’s chest, banging against his heart and seeping its way into his dreams. If he continued like this would he lose Taeyang? If he kept keeping secrets would he really wake up to nobody beside him? Youngkyun never wanted to know the answer to that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Youngkyun mumbled, pulling Taeyang over to the car and placing himself inside the driver’s seat. The ride was silent. Taeyang didn’t dare speak, probably having no idea what to say. Youngkyun didn’t have anything to say, so he drove in silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They got to Sanghyuk’s apartment easily with the lack of traffic so early in the morning, and Youngkyun didn’t even check to make sure Taeyang was following him before he walked up to the front door. He grabbed the potted plant by the front door immediately, turning it upside down to spill out the soil and plant on the ground. Taeyang stepped back as he did, not wanting to step in it. Youngkyun dug his fingers through it, grabbing the spare key Sanghyuk kept. He didn’t even knock before unlocking the door, pushing his way inside and flicking on the lights. He heard Taeyang close the door behind him, but he couldn’t even bother to take off his shoes as he walked over to the living room wall, covered by a neat curtain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyu- Youngkyun what the hell are you doing?!” Sanghyuk asked, his eyes going wide from the hallway he appeared from dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers as Youngkyun reached for the curtain, ripping it down without a second of regret or hesitation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beneath it were pictures and papers hung up and attached by red strings and threads, the newest addition to the wall being Im Youngjae, the 23 year old Xang worker and drug cartel member Youngkyun had found just a few days ago. He had quit his job on October 1st and had gone missing the next day, which is why they never even knew he was missing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A silence fell over the room as Youngkyun stepped to the side, but all Taeyang could do was stare at the wall, taking it all in. Sanghyuk glared at Youngkyun heavily, but his eyes flickered to Taeyang in a worried fashion. The big bright piece of paper with “DAWON” on it most likely made his nerves sink to his stomach as he waited for Taeyang’s reaction. Chanhee stood by his side, just observing it all as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… what is this?” Taeyang asked slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cut in quickly. “Taeyang I can-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The missing people are connected to Dawon,” Youngkyun explained quickly, still determined to keep his friend’s secret too. He could relieve his guilt while still keeping a secret, right? He could do at least that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Sanghyuk found out from a few members of the gang he’s involved with that all of those people had connections to Dawon in some way, except Minjun, but his brother Minsung was involved… so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you knew all of this… and you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get mad at Youngkyun,” Chanhee spoke up quickly, his eyes falling to the floor. “It was my idea not to tell you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s eyes went wide as Chanhee spoke, because it was most definitely not his idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t know how to explain it. At first, it was just Sanghyuk and I looking into it a bit. And we weren’t really sure. We had no idea if we were right or not, so we didn’t want to tell you or Youngkyun. It was just information we had no idea was true or not. But then Heungsoo went missing from one of the gangs, too. He hasn’t been found yet,” Chanhee continued to lie, pointing at Heungsoo on the chart. It was incredible how he lied without even flinching as if everything he said was how it all really happened. “Youngkyun found out because Sanghyuk is a dumbass and accidentally mentioned Heungsoo, and so we told him everything we had heard. And we told him we didn’t know if it was true, and not to tell you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not tell me?” Taeyang asked, looking around the room with a blank expression that could only be read as confused and hurt. “It’s my company too and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because we got the information from gangs involved with Dawon. And we know you don’t like Dawon,” Chanhee explained quickly, angling his head down. “Sanghyuk and I didn’t want to bring up that the gangs we get involved with have a small connection to Dawon, so we all agreed not to tell you. Plus, Youngkyun wasn’t supposed to know. It was an accident. But then Minsung went missing. That’s why Sanghyuk and I were already helping look for him, because we knew he was connected with the gang. And then when Youngkyun found Youngjae we knew for sure we were right. But with everything going on with Xang we decided not to tell you yet, but we should have. Youngkyun wanted to tell you but we were still concerned about the Dawon thing. So… we’re sorry,” Chanhee apologized. “We should have just told you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well we could have all talked about it before Youngkyun just came barging in and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk shut the fuck up. This is Taeyang’s business too and it’s not fair that Youngkyun had to lie to him because we’re cowards,” Chanhee scolded him, and Sanghyuk shut up immediately at that. “He must have felt so damn guilty because of that. Think about how Youngkyun felt, he’s our friend.” The room fell silent, and Youngkyun was about to say something to explain further to Taeyang, but Sanghyuk spoke before he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Youngkyun,” Sanghyuk suddenly apologized, and Youngkyun really didn’t expect that. In fact, it was rare to hear those words from him so sincerely. He paused before speaking again. “Chanhee’s right. I didn’t actually care that much that everything I told you meant you had to lie to Taeyang. I didn’t think about how that must have made you feel.” It was clear now Sanghyuk wasn’t just playing along with the lie as he hung his head low. This was an apology for making him lie to Taeyang for all the times he had had to. This was an apology for all of it, at least, that’s what it felt like. “I’m sorry for asking you to lie to Taeyang. And thank you.” The thank you, Youngkyun realized, was for still lying, despite everything happening at the moment. Despite everything, and all of Yougnkyun’s guilt, he still hadn’t given away Sanghyuk’s secret. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to know everything,” Taeyang decided quickly, looking to the wall. He turned to Youngkyun, walking up to him. Youngkyun held his head down as he braced for Taeyang to scold him. He deserved it, and more than that, he expected it, but he braced himself for it anyways. He winced as Taeyang came to stand in front of him, and he held his teeth together as he waited. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang moved his hand carefully, moving to hold Youngkyun’s hand in his own. His hand felt warm and soft as he pulled Youngkyun’s hand closer to him, and before Youngkyun could fully register how gently Taeyang approached him, Taeyang was already speaking, with a voice so soft and quiet it made every worry Youngkyun had disappear. “Will you explain it all to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not mad?” Youngkyun asked quickly, shocked as he raised his eyes to meet Taeyang’s. Taeyang just shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… you just woke up screaming because you felt so guilty about not telling me this. How could I possibly be mad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Chanhee asked quickly, coming up to the two of them. “Kyun… you didn’t tell us that. Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” Youngkyun whispered with a nod, leaning the crown of his head against Taeyang’s shoulder while Taeyang pulled him into his arms. He felt so relieved. It felt like every weight hanging around his shoulders had just turned to dust and ashes at his feet as Taeyang pulled him further into his arms. Youngkyun was still hiding a lot from him, but for now this would be enough. This was plenty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t hide things like this from me from now on,” Taeyang told the group of them, his hand rubbing calming circles in Youngkyun’s back. “I don’t like Dawon at all, but if you guys know something… you should tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun opened his eyes to look towards Sanghyuk, and he could see the internal debate written across his face. Sanghyuk looked more than guilty standing where he was, eyes glossed over with his secrets as he stood in front of Taeyang like an open book Taeyang refused to read without permission. He held his head hung down to the floor, and his lips parted open with the lack of words his brain seemed to be capable of at the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys are more important to me than anything involving Dawon or Jaeyoon, you guys know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth as Taeyang added that last comment, visibly struggling not to start crying or breaking completely and spilling every one of his secrets. Chanhee noticed quickly, moving over to Sanghyuk’s side to throw his arm around his shoulder, patting it as a comfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Youngkyun felt truly bad for Sanghyuk. Taeyang was standing in front of him now, giving him the perfect opportunity to say everything he had never had the courage to say in all the years they had known each other, and Sanghyuk still didn’t feel safe enough to say any of it. He wanted to, Youngkyun could read it on his face. But as he saw it now, Sanghyuk would never feel safe enough to tell Taeyang who he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[June 1, 2013] (In hs), [6 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 18, Taeyang is 16, Youngkyun is 14]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just spit it out,” Youngkyun encouraged, as if it would be that simple. He knew it really wouldn’t be, but he did his best to sound positive about the situation. “Once you get it out, it’ll be easier to explain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to get it out,” Sanghyuk complained with a pout, passing his tiny water bottle from hand to hand by sliding it across the surface of the table. “I don’t want to say any of it. This whole thing is dumb. This is fucking stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not fair,” Youngkyun pointed out, straightening his back so it was like he was looking down at Sanghyuk, despite the boy having four years over him and much more height Youngkyun had yet to get. He would get there, but it would take maybe four more years. For now, he would just try his best to allude to his imaginary height. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter if it’s fair,” Sanghyuk mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee knows. I know. Taeyang is your friend, and he deserves to know, too,” Youngkyun advocated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just because you’re fucking him doesn’t mean-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t because we’re a couple,” Youngkyun sneered at him, pushing him over playfully. Sanghyuk did little but rock with the weak push. “This is because you’re friends with Taeyang just as much as you are with me. It’s not fair that I know and he doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds fair to me,” Sanghyuk denied with a shrug. “You found me crying and approached me. Taeyang didn’t approach me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So start sobbing at the table and maybe he will,” Youngkyun tested, turning away from Sanghyuk to grab his bag of chips that he had nearly forgotten about. He picked it up, grabbing a single chip and crunching it loudly in Sanghyuk’s ear. “Stop pouting and just say it. Taeyang won’t freak out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He will though!” Sanghyuk protested, fully turning his whole body to face Youngkyun. “He’s gonna hate me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then start crying now because here he comes,” Youngkyun mumbled, quickly turning up to face the approaching boy. “Hey Tae!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is… is Sanghyuk drinking water?” Taeyang asked with a raised eyebrow as he lowered himself down to the table. “Hyuk are you okay?” The question actually caused Sanghyuk to snort, his eyes still trained on the small water bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Soda isn’t healthy so he should drink water anyways,” Youngkyun advocated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think he was referring to the soju, not the soda,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a small smile pulling at his lips. The table went silent as Youngkyun’s eyes went wide. He had forgotten Sanghyuk drank soju as he pleased, as if he still wasn’t only a highschool student. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t drink soju anyways,” Youngkyun made sure to mumble just loud enough for Sanghyuk to hear. “You have to take care of Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t drink in front of him you ass!” Sanghyuk called out at him, slapping his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then who watches him when you drink?!” Youngkyun challenged, raising his chin in Sanghyuk’s direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk just shrugged, reaching for his water bottle to uncap it and lift it to his lips. “Chanhee is thirteen years old. He’s fine on his own for a few hours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s morbid,” Youngkyun threw at him, pushing the water bottle back in his direction as he tried to put it down. “Drink water instead. Chanhee doesn’t need to grow up smelling soju all over you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk just rolled his eyes, sipping the water again. This was becoming more difficult by the second by the frustrating mood Sanghyuk was in. He was uncooperative and plain pouty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t let Chanhee drink,” Taeyang mumbled, looking down to his meal. “He takes after you. In a bad way!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! You try telling him not to swear! It’s like telling him not to walk on his own two feet!” Sanghyuk defended, looking to Taeyang with an offended stare with his lips propped open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He swears because you swear,” Taeyang pointed out, raising his own water bottle in a motion like ‘cheers’ before lifting it to his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ain’t my fucking fault,” Sanghyuk mumbled, earning glares from both boys at the table before the glared turned to cheeky smiles. Sanghyuk didn’t smile, he just drank his water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point, Sanghyuk was never going to tell Taeyang. He wasn’t talking unless it was to contradict anything they said, and he wasn’t laughing along with anything in the way he normally did. Youngkyun would have to do it for him, it seemed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just the way the world is,” Youngkyun commented offhandedly, as a way to segment into a topic about Dawon and Jaeyoon. He had to close the previous conversation first. “But-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The way the world is today sucks,” Taeyang grabbed onto quickly, and Youngkyun wanted to kick him under the table for picking </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> to branch off of. “I want Chanhee to grow up in a world he’s safe in, but Seoul sucks. Maybe all four of us should just move.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Move?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow in an unimpressed fashion. He had the urge to tell Taeyang to shut his mouth so Youngkyun could lead the conversation where he wanted it to go, but he opted for trying his best to steer it somewhere else instead. Sanghyuk, it seemed, had no intention of letting him do that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why just Seoul?” Sanghyuk asked bitterly, his fingers holding tightly onto his water bottle as he stared down at it. A shiver ran over Youngkyun’s body and he could feel himself losing control of the situation more quickly than he could grab back onto it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Taeyang asked, leaning forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is it just Seoul that sucks? Why is it just Seoul that isn’t safe for Chanhee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” Youngkyun cut in, desperate to not let Taeyang answer that question. “I think he just meant that-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because of Dawon, obviously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt everything around him just fall apart at Taeyang’s words. He quickly turned to glare at the boy, but he didn’t seem to notice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because of Dawon? Why Dawon?” Sanghyuk asked, his voice becoming hard and cold with accusation. Youngkyun grabbed onto his arm in an attempt to ground him, but Sanghyuk just pulled his arm away harshly. Taeyang definitely noticed that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk why are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying you think Dawon is worse than every rapist on the streets out there?” Sanghyuk accused suddenly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?! No!” Taeyang blurted out quickly. “I just mean-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, Taeyang? There are rapists and murderers out there, but you still have the audacity to say it’s Dawon who makes Seoul dangerous. In my opinion, Chanhee is more safe here than anywhere else in the world,” Sanghyuk ranted, standing up from the table to look down on Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if Dawon loses it?” Taeyang challenged, standing up to match him. Everyone knew Taeyang idolized Jaeyoon in a way, but Youngkyun didn’t really see this as a reason to start a huge fight. People were looking now, stopping in their walks to watch the argument. Youngkyun felt himself shrinking in his seat as he pulled on Sanghyuk’s arm for him to stop, but he didn’t. “Dawon just robs stores, inconveniences people, and, oh, hacks government databases now! But what if one day he decides secret government files aren’t enough for him? What if he decides to rape some poor girl, or what if he ends up killing someone?!” Taeyang ranted, nearly getting in Sanghyuk’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon would never,” Sanghyuk sneered angrily at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have no way of knowing that,” Taeyang pointed out bitterly. “You don’t know Dawon! You don’t know what he’s like! But right now he has the social platform to do whatever the hell he wants! People are more amused by it then scared! What if he kills you?! What if he kills </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chanhee</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was in Taeyang’s face before Youngkyun could even stand from his seat. His fingers were buried in the collar of Taeyang’s shirt, and the smaller boy had to stumble back from the force Sanghyuk used to grab him. His eyes went wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk… it’s not that deep…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk about Chanhee like that. Don’t assume he’ll get hurt, because in truth he could get hurt anywhere in the world. Don’t blame Dawon for something he hasn’t even done. But if you hate him so much, go join Jaeyoon and play Tom and Jerry with him. Do it,” Sanghyuk spat at him in a voice so low and deep, Youngkyun felt himself shiver just hearing it. He stepped forward again, pushing Taeyang back with him as he glared down at him. “You’re talking about Dawon having a social platform like you’re not one of the hypocrites giving it to him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed him down to the ground and stormed off before anyone could utter a single word. Youngkyun raced quickly to Taeyang’s side, grabbing his wrists to examine the small scrapes on them from Sanghyuk throwing him to the ground. But that might have been one of the most regrettable mistakes in his life. Because as he knelt down to make sure Taeyang was okay, Sanghyuk turned back around to see them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met with no expression, but the message was clear enough in Sanghyuk’s mind and it would stick with him for the rest of his entire life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t just Dawon. Dawon was him, too. And as much as he had talked about Dawon never hurting those close to him, he had hurt Taeyang over it. Because Dawon was him, too. It was never said, and it didn’t need to be. It was there, underlying everything Sanghyuk was and who he wanted to be. He had hurt Taeyang, and he couldn’t take that back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Present Day]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no pattern,” Taeyang observed, eyes scanning across the wall of information for the 30th time that night. “There’s nothing. The only similarity is the relation to Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We know,” Sanghyuk groaned, lifting his hand to his head as he struggled to keep himself awake. Taeyang hadn’t stopped looking at the wall and asking questions since they had arrived, and Youngkyun could tell Sanghyuk was slowly losing his mind as he wished for the peace and quiet to sleep. Chanhee, unlike him and Youngkyun, had the amazing ability to just ignore everything going on around him. He was asleep on the battered up couch, curled into a ball with a blanket thrown over him. Sanghyuk glared at him out of envy, but Youngkyun knew he wouldn’t dare wake the sleeping boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There has to be something. Like a way they’re choosing the victims or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There isn’t any,” Sanghyuk groaned bluntly. “We’ve looked. There’s no order. There’s no rank order or age order or association order. I’ve checked every possible thing. There’s nothing. It’s just random.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me someone is killing people by just picking a random name on a list of people?” Taeyang asked, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s most likely at this point,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his eyes falling closed as he exhaled in a deep sigh, rubbing his temple. His voice was nothing but bored and plain now, no enthusiasm in anything he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, there has to be something. At least one thing,” Taeyang said, looking back to the wall. Even Youngkyun sighed now, feeling sleepy himself as he leaned against the wall behind his husband, arms folded across his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing. Literally the only patterns are who they’re related to and how they’re killed. There’s no order pattern or age pattern or look pattern or location pattern. There’s nothing,” Youngkyun said in place of Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang just merely shook his head, completely immersed in finding </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It was like he had to or else he wouldn’t be able to breathe properly, and Youngkyun could understand that, but god he was so tired. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about where the bodies were dropped?” Taeyang finally asked, looking to Sanghyuk. “Is there a pattern with that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not that we could find,” Sanghyuk mumbled without a shred of thought. Taeyang seemed dissatisfied with that answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without even asking, not that anyone would really care even if he did, Taeyang moved over to the coffee table to grab a blank sheet of paper. He took Chanhee’s marker from the floor where the boy had discarded it and kneeled down. Sanghyuk just sighed heavily, leaning his head back in the chair he sat in like he was truly seconds away from falling asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun moved to look over Taeyang’s shoulder with a slightly raised eyebrow, his arms dropping to his side as he watched Taeyang draw and entire outline of Seoul. He drew the Han River by scribbling a thick line across the borders with the pen before hesitating for a second, his pen hovering over the paper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun can you get me a pencil?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded, moving over to the kitchen area where he knew he would find a pencil. He grabbed the sharpest one he could find, which wasn’t very sharp, and brought it back over to his husband. Taeyang took it quickly, placing it down by the paper as he made a small dot on the paper in pen. He wrote “EJ” next to it. Youngkyun really felt a bit more awake now, leaning in to try and figure out what Taeyang was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next mark he made was another black dot on the paper, marked with “AYD.” The next one was “YNN” and the one after that was “SAD.” Youngkyun felt his hand coming to Taeyang’s shoulder as Taeyang moved to grab the pencil instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were initials for Xang sites. Youngkyun’s eyes blinked in realization as he recognized every site name. EJ stood for Euijuro, where Minjun had been found. AYD was Ahnyeon-Dong, for Intak. YNN was Yeonnam-Dong for Minsung, and SAD was Sangam-Dong for Youngjae. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, where did Minjun live?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With Minsung in Seogyo-Dong,” Sanghyuk recalled lazily, still not showing a single hint of interest in what Taeyang was doing. Youngkyun felt the exact opposite. He watched with wide eyes as Taeyang made a mark with a dot in pencil at Seogyo-Dong, which fell right next to Yeonnam-Dong… where Minsung was found. Taeyang circled the black dot and pencil dot together before looking up to Youngkyun. “Minjun worked for us, right? Which site did he work at?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his voice hesitating as his eyes fell to the small dot that represented the Euijuro site. “That one,” he spoke softly, pointing to the dot. Taeyang circled the black dot in pencil before moving to the Ahnyeon-Dong dot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Intak was a gang member, right?” Taeyang asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his eyes closed as his thoughts rolled to a dull drone of facts and no actual ideas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did he live?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bukahyeon-Dong I think,” Sanghyuk mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang smiled at that, making a small pencil dot right in between the Euijuro site dot and the Ahnyeon-Dong site dot. He circled Bukahyeon-Dong and Ahnyeon-Dong together, moving on to Sangam-Dong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What site did Youngjae work at?” Taeyang asked quickly. “He was an Xang employee, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He quit the day before he went missing,” Youngkyun reminded him. “But he worked on the other end of Seoul in Gwangjin-Gu. He lived around there, too,” Youngkyun told him with a pout. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, you said Youngjae was part of a cartel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter?” Sanghyuk groaned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where was the cartel?” Taeyang asked quietly, sending the room into a thick silence as Sanghyuk tried to recall. Youngkyun and Taeyang watched him as they paused, just waiting to hear the words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think…” Sanghyuk began, dragging his words as he spoke. “Ah. It’s in Jeungsan-Dong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang pressed the pencil against the paper quickly, making a dot right next to the Sangam-Dong site and circling them together. “That’s it,” he whispered, sliding the paper towards Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They all lived or worked around the sites,” Youngkyun mumbled, kneeling down by Taeyang to look at the paper. At this point, Sanghyuk had already pulled himself up with wide eyes, staring at the two of them as Youngkyun’s eyes swept over the paper. “It’s not a pattern, though,” Youngkyun added, a small pout on his lips. “Youngjae was found at a site near the cartel he works at, Minjun where he worked, and Minsung where he lived.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is a pattern though,” Taeyang told him with a smile, dragging the paper back in between them both as he looked over it. “It means it’s not random where they’re dropped.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s eyes went wide as his brain finally seemed to slide the final parts in place. “They’re being watched before they’re killed,” Youngkyun whispered, lifting his eyes to meet Sanghyuk’s, which were just as equally wide. “Every single one of them was dropped at a site near a part of their daily schedule. Which means…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Someone’s watching them,” Sanghyuk added in a mumble, sending the room into a dangerous thick silence as Sanghyuk looked between them, his expression now reading something more hesitant. “Does this mean someone could be watching us, too?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Would it Be Dawon or Inseong?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading so far &lt;3 I love you guys thank you!!</p><p>ALSO! There are mentions+ of abuse and suicide in this chapter, just a warning!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So… Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Sanghyuk asked over his shoulder, reaching into the over and taking out the fresh batch of macaroons. The cafe hadn’t opened yet, but right now they were just baking to get everything ready. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today the cafe just smelled different. Maybe it was because Sanghyuk had gone the entire weekend without working after dealing with everything Xang related, but the cafe just felt more welcoming today. Truthfully, he didn’t want the day to end. He kind of just wanted to stay in the cafe for a long, long time. With Inseong, too, it felt more comforting than it ever could if he was alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess what?” Inseong asked with a giddy wide smile, leaning onto the counter next to where Sanghyuk placed the tray of macaroons on a cooling rack. Sanghyuk was really bad at guessing, but the wide smile on his face convinced Sanghyuk that he had no choice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, uhm,” Sanghyuk began, trying his best to think of a single thing that could make Inseong that genuinely happy. He turned his full body towards Inseong, his arm resting on the counter still. “You… wow. Okay this is really hard, what makes you happy?!” Inseong laughed at Sanghyuk’s comment, his joy booming throughout the cafe as he gestured for Sanghyuk to keep trying. “Okay. You just found a new recipe!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Inseong replied with a smile, his teeth poking through his lips. “Try harder.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your parents are coming up from Jeongseon to visit?” Sanghyuk attempted, tilting his head a bit as he hoped he was right so he wouldn’t have to guess again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but that would also make me very happy,” Inseong admitted. He nodded toward Sanghyuk. “You have to keep guessing. I want to see how many bad guesses you can make.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously? Okay, fine,” Sanghyuk caved in with a defeated smile. “You hired another person to work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Inseong confessed with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You went out in public over the weekend and didn’t get recognized,” he guessed, but Inseong just shook his head. “You got new shoes?” Inseong told him he was wrong. “You helped… someone… do… something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s too vague! And no!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re breaking up with Jaeyoon?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong actually snorted at that guess. “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m lost. Come on. I’m literally out of ideas. Now that I think about it, I actually have no idea what could make you this happy. You’re always so down in public,” Sanghyuk confessed, turning back to his macaroons. Inseong grabbed onto his shoulder quickly to spin him back around to face him, and Sanghyuk didn’t fight against him. “Can’t you just tell me?” he begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Inseong agreed with a pout before losing his internal fight and cracking into a smile. “You and I have plans this weekend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk furrowed his brows at that. “We do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We do,” Inseong confirmed, his teeth joining his smile as he beamed at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if I was busy?” Sanghyuk challenged, despite the fact that he was not busy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun told me you weren’t,” Inseong confessed, unable to stop himself from cracking a whole new cocky smile at that. But that made about a thousand other thoughts run through Sanghyuk’s head. Youngkyun had met Inseong just over a week ago, and yet just a few days ago Youngkyun had told him about Inseong’s behavior at their lunch. Youngkyun had noticed it, too. He noticed the way Inseong acted differently around Jaeyoon, just like Sanghyuk had the first time they met. Sanghyuk tried to shake the thought away for now, reminding himself that this wasn’t about Jaeyoon right now. This was, apparently, about Sanghyuk having plans this weekend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what are we doing this weekend?” Sanghyuk prompted, leaning against the counter just like Inseong was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A big bake sale charity event!” Inseong announced happily. “I’m hosting it. Our cafe is the center of the event but it’s for everyone to donate. People are gonna come from all over Seoul and drop off baked goods and all the money is going toward making sure orphaned kids have good homes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to reply that he loved the idea, because honestly, as Inseong spoke, all Sanghyuk could imagine was hosting a huge event by Inseong’s side and baking all afternoon to get ready for it. But when Inseong mentioned the charity cause, Sanghyuk felt like he couldn’t speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why… why orphaned kids?” Sanghyuk finally pushed out, looking with wide eyes to Inseong. He swallowed to remove the lump from his throat, but it didn’t really work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Inseong mumbled, turning his head down in a shy fashion. “I mean… well, I could be totally wrong. But you never… you never really talk about you childhood. And you mentioned how you and Chanhee are brothers… but not by family. And so I just figured… I mean I assumed… but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you did this… for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really couldn’t help the emotions he felt building up behind his eyes and in his chest. Inseong clearly felt beyond shy about it, but he had guessed it all on the dot. Somehow, without Sanghyuk ever mentioning it, Inseong had paid close enough attention to him to guess that he was an orphaned kid. And he was right. He was completely right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean… wait… does that mean I’m right?” Inseong asked suddenly, looking up with wide eyes as his lips fell open slightly. He must have seen the struggle on Sanghyuk’s face not to cry. He wanted to scold himself for even thinking about crying right now, but it was hard not to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had started this mission to get close to Inseong, but here Inseong was paying attention to him in a way hardly anyone else ever had before. Inseong had created a whole charity event to donate to a cause that had affected his entire life, and he did it all without ever asking Sanghyuk about his past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really couldn’t help it, and in a desperate attempt to stop Inseong from seeing him cry he moved forward and wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling himself into Inseong’s chest. Inseong stumbled back a step at first, but quickly wrapped his arms around Sanghyuk in return while Sanghyuk buried his head in Inseong’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Inseong mumbled, as if he had done something wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Sanghyuk whispered, his voice coming out in a crack filled sob which he despised more than anything else at the moment. He wrapped his arms tighter around Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask… is that how you met Youngkyun? And… and Taeyang? And Chanhee? Are you guys all close because of… the system you guys fell into?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk knew Inseong’s question was a cue for him to pull away from the hug, but he refused to let go, and in return Inseong didn’t push him away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I met Chanhee around that time,” Sanghyuk confessed. “I met Youngkyun because he was involved with another home, not the one Chanhee and I were in at the time. And Taeyang was being taken care of by other members of his family, so we just met through school.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… shit, Sanghyuk, I’m sorry,” Inseong mumbled, and this time he made the hug tighter. To be honest, Sanghyuk wasn’t sure why he felt like he couldn’t let go of Inseong. How long would it be before he confessed out loud that maybe he liked Inseong as a person, and wanted to stay by his side not because he was Jaeyoon’s boyfriend, but because he was Sanghyuk’s friend?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk told him quickly, pulling back from the hug and quickly wiping his eyes dry. “Sorry I don’t know why I just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why you just what?” Inseong interrupted him, turning around so Sanghyuk was facing his back. “I didn’t see anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help but smile in that moment, drying his eyes quickly and turning back to the macaroons. “This weekend?” he asked, changing the subject back to the charity event. “Then I guess we’ll be spending all day Friday baking, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Duh,” Sanghyuk replied with a smile, grabbing a utensil to move the macaroons to the glass case below him. “I can get Chanhee to help too, if you want. He’s pretty good at cookies. And Youngkyun and Taeyang will bring everything we need and help if I just ask nicely,” Sanghyuk confessed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Inseong interrupted him, eyes wide. “You want to bring your whole family over to help bake for this? Would they really do that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried not to focus on the way Inseong so easily called the three boys his family as he gave Inseong the best smile he could manage. “Yeah. It’ll be fun, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… okay,” Inseong stuttered, his cheeks puffing out as his lips slowly lifted into a smile. “Okay. Yeah. Call them!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, are you sure the cookies aren’t done yet?” Sanghyuk asked from across the kitchen, mixing a bowl of cookie batter as he turned to look over his head to Taeyang, who stood beside one of his ovens to watch the cookies bake</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been Youngkyun and Taeyang’s idea to do all the baking at their house due to their kitchen the size of Sanghyuk’s entire apartment. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that big, but it was pretty big.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, I’m telling you they’re not done,” Taeyang replied with an exasperated look, his lips drawn apart as he gaped at the boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well they’ve been cooking for seventeen minutes now. They should be done,” Sanghyuk stated, shrugging his shoulders as he continued to mix with a wooden spoon. “If they’re burnt, it’s on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re not gonna burn! I’m telling you they’re not done yet!” Taeyang told him, not being able to hold himself back from laughing at Sanghyuk who acted like he ran the entire kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t fuck up my cookies!” Chanhee called to Taeyang from the other side of the counter, currently rolling a batch of M&amp;M cookie dough into balls and placing them on a sheet covered tray. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Check for yourself!” Taeyang called back, pointing to the oven he stood beside. “They’re not ready yet!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I will,” Chanhee decided quickly, dropping the last ball of cookie dough on his tray before strutting up to the ovens, peeking through to watch the cookies. He walked back over to his tray with a pout. “Okay I believe you,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you!” Taeyang called back at him with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk honestly had not felt this happy with his “family” in a long time. Of course, he had small moments between the stressful moments and the fights, but this was the purest moment he could remember in a long long time. Sanghyuk really couldn’t feel grateful enough towards Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jangmi had set up a whole playlist of Disney songs to play in the background as they baked, which Chanhee and Sanghyuk had protested strongly against, but Youngkyun and Taeyang had just ignored them and danced along with it, thanking Jangmi and pulling her into the kitchen to dance with her just to spite the brothers. Half of the cooking time was spent listening to Youngkyun and Taeyang singing along dramatically to Disney songs from popular movies Sanghyuk and Chanhee denied knowing. Sanghyuk refused to admit to Chanhee he had spent a weekend binge watching Disney movies after Youngkyun wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Frozen, and from there he was just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bit</span>
  </em>
  <span> interested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun and Taeyang had also taken this to an entire new level of unnecessary. They had brought out aprons for everyone to wear to “set the mood” as they cooked. Of course, Youngkyun and Taeyang were wearing beautiful black, very professional aprons over their jeans and long sleeved shirts with the sleeves neatly rolled up. Youngkyun had his long hair pulled up into a ponytail even though the ends still hung down to frame his face. Taeyang had his own hair brushed away from his forehead as he cooked, but every now and then he had to shake his head to move it away from his eyes again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wished he could say him and Chanhee looked as aesthetic as the two of them did as they cooked. He wished. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had taken the liberty of dressing him up. It had been part of the agreement that Youngkyun and Taeyang would help if they could dress the boys up, Youngkyun taking a bit more joy in it knowing Inseong was going to be there. Of course, the two boys would have helped anyways, but it was just their way of getting what they wanted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So now Sanghyuk stood at the counter mixing a bowl of cookie batter listening to another Frozen soundtrack in black jeans, a tight black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a pink frilly apron Youngkyun had ordered online just for him. It tied in a bow around his back and hung around his neck with a little heart stitched on the front. Sanghyuk also had his hair pulled into two very unnecessary pony tails on the top of his head, one on each side. They were put up with—no shocker here—pink hair ties. They did absolutely nothing to hold the hair out of his face, but it was for no other reason than Youngkyun and Taeyang’s humor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, and one couldn’t possibly forget about the makeup. No, that was unforgettable. Youngkyun hadn’t gone overboard, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> put an unnecessary amount of blush on Sanghyuk’s cheeks. He knew he looked ridiculous, and when Inseong had first walked in he literally collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter. He hadn’t been able to stop laughing for a good minute straight, which only caused Youngkyun and Taeyang to lose their minds snickering. Chanhee had just snorted when he saw Sanghyuk’s look, but it was quickly rescinded when Youngkyun dressed him up too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee, although still submitted to Youngkyun’s torment, was treated far better than Sanghyuk was. Well… in Sanghyuk’s mind at least. Youngkyun had dressed Chanhee up in a complete chef’s outfit with a neat black apron hung around his waist and an collared white shirt with buttons down the middle. The sides of his hair were clipped back neatly with pins, and he looked like a real chef, only much more miserable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then there was Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun hadn’t touched Inseong, but in all honesty he didn’t need to. Inseong showed up with a smile on his face as bright as all the best ones Sanghyuk had seen from him, his hair curled on his head in a way Sanghyuk could only label as adorable. It curled in front of his eyes and around his ears like he curled it every day. He wore a white short sleeved shirt under a neat black Adidas jacket, which he obviously removed when it was time to cook. He brought a pale green apron with him to wear over his attire, neatly folded over his arm with not a single wrinkle, like he had ironed it just for the occasion. He had natural colored makeup on with a barely noticeable tint of eye shadow, but Sanghyuk noticed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t deny staring, though he wasn’t sure exactly why he was staring when he saw the boy every day at work. Youngkyun had nudged his side with no added remark or comment, as if Sanghyuk was simply just zoning out. He wasn’t sure if Youngkyun knew it was Inseong he was staring at or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jangmi!” Youngkyun called, spinning across the kitchen with a plate of cooled cookies in his hands. It was a miracle they didn’t spill everywhere. “More cookies!” he announced, making his way over to the dining table and quickly setting the plate of cookies down for Jangmi and Inseong to continue bagging. Inseong had brought the cute bags they would be filling with all different kinds of cookies, aside from the stands that would be selling the treats individually. He had made cute stickers for them, so while he put stickers on each of the bags, Jangmi filled them with chocolate chip and M&amp;M cookies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cookies are done,” Taeyang announced, opening the oven and pulling them out gently and placing the tray on a cooling rack. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have the next tray,” Chanhee told him, handing the tray to him to place in the oven. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lucky for you, I have more batter for you to lay out,” Sanghyuk announced happily, sliding the bowl across the counter to Chanhee, who caught it between his hands, barely even looking in its direction. “Inseong come over here and help me with the macaroon recipe. I don’t have it memorized yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?!” Inseong asked with a small laugh, getting up from his seat and bouncing up to the counter. “You make them almost every day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I ‘make’ them but you mix them,” Sanghyuk reminded him, grabbing a bowl and what little he had memorized of the recipe. “Just stop whining and help me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I might as well just do it for you,” Inseong mumbled with a small snicker, moving over to grab something from the fridge to add to the bowl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re making macaroons now? We haven’t even done the sugar cookies, yet,” Chanhee pointed out, raising an eyebrow at them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do it for me. Show me so I can learn,” Sanghyuk pleaded with Inseong with a pout, completely ignoring Chanhee who just sighed, not caring whether Sanghyuk chose to pay attention to him or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still think it’s so funny that you guys work together,” Taeyang mentioned with a snicker, grabbing a spatula to move the cookies to another cooling rack so they could reuse the tray. “And it’s funny how you haven’t fired him yet,” he finished toward Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?!” Sanghyuk yelled, causing both Taeyang and Youngkyun to crack up into laughter. “I’m such a good employee! I work so hard! And I’m a fantastic baker too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but you’re a pain in the ass,” Chanhee mumbled, although everybody in the room heard it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is,” Inseong admitted with a laugh, moving his arms to block his body as Sanghyuk moved to hit him harshly on the arm, but the whole time he couldn’t stop laughing anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I’m such a pain in the ass, fire me!” Sanghyuk challenged, raising his chin up at the boy and narrowing his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and make your macaroons,” Inseong told him, gesturing toward the bowl. Sanghyuk smiled smugly at that, looking toward Youngkyun and winking in his direction before returning his attention to the bowl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the cooking went about the same, all of them making smartass comments at each other while they laughed. At one point, Youngkyun and Taeyang had gotten distracted singing “Into the Unknown” from Frozen 2 as loud as they possibly could, blowing out everyone’s eardrums in the process. Youngkyun got distracted the most, also taking a small “break” to spin Jangmi around and dance with her as “When Will My Life Begin” from Tangled started playing. Jangmi was so embarrassed and red in the face that Youngkyun couldn't stop apologizing through his laughter afterwards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang had, at one point, stolen some of Chanhee’s cookie dough that he had been mixing for the sugar cookies, to which the boy had reacted by grabbing an entire handful of flour and completely covering Taeyang and the floor in it. Youngkyun couldn’t stop laughing for five minutes straight, and Sanghyuk had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong, it turned out, could also sing. It was shocking to Sanghyuk to know the boy could sing, and really well at that, because he hadn’t known or expected it. Inseong just didn’t look like the type of boy who could sing as beautifully as an idol and he never gave any hints that he could sing, so Sanghyuk never even guessed. “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana came on, and although he was sure nobody else heard it, Sanghyuk could hear Inseong softly singing along as he sprinkled sugar over the uncooked cookie dough on the trays. He smiled as he sang, so content with the moment that Sanghyuk wanted to find a way to freeze time just to make him happy like that forever. A strange thought occurred in Sanghyuk’s head around that moment. Was it possible that Inseong was as happy around him as Sanghyuk seemed to be around him lately?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now Sanghyuk was waving his hand over the last cooling batch of cookies, watching them and looking around for any burnt spots. Inseong, Youngkyun, and Taeyang all sat around the dining table wrapping the cooled ones up. Jangmi had gone home around twenty minutes ago, having already had dinner plans with her family before Inseong even proposed them all cooking together. Youngkyun had sent her off with a smile and Sanghyuk hadn’t hesitated to scream a “have fun!” at her as she left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had been so distracted moving around trays after that, moving the dirty ones to the sink to be washed and pushing aside the cleaner ones to wash after, that he hadn’t even seen Inseong walk up behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you washing them?” Inseong asked in a quiet voice, but it caused Sanghyuk to jump regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” he breathed out, placing a hand over his beating heart, “please don’t do that again. Heart attack. Hello.” Inseong snickered as he turned back around to the sink. “Yeah I’m washing them,” he finally answered, covering the first tray in water before grabbing a sponge to scrub at the tray, although the baking hadn’t really left anything too tough on the surface. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give them to me to dry,” Inseong told him, grabbing a neatly folded towel from the corner of the counter to dry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or you two could just wait for the dish washer to finish this load so you can put those in after,” Youngkyun suggested with a snort, turning around in his seat and hooking his arm over the back of his chair to see the two of them from where he sat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m impatient,” Sanghyuk replied quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk is impatient,” Inseong replied at the exact same time, smiling as they both finished speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn okay,” Youngkyun surrendered, turning back around in his chair and taking a small plastic bag from Taeyang’s hand to wrap more cookies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned to Inseong with a giddy smile, handing him the wet tray. He took it quickly, drying it and placing it on the counter gently, having no idea where any of the cooking related things went in the kitchen. But honestly, Sanghyuk didn’t know either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for helping me with this,” Inseong told him sweetly, smiling down at the next tray as Sanghyuk handed it to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I? This is a charity event sponsored by your cafe, right? Why wouldn’t I help?” Sanghyuk asked, the corner of his lips pulling into a gentle smile as he grabbed the next tray to wash. Inseong opened his mouth to reply, but Sanghyuk didn’t give him the chance to. “And not to brag, but I kind of feel like the reason for this specific charity cause being the charity of the event, so I was helping no matter what,” he added in a low voice, leaning slightly more towards Inseong as he said it before returning his full attention to the sink in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I have so much to thank you for, though,” Inseong mumbled, his eyes flickering to the two boys at the dining table, like he didn’t want them to overhear him. Sanghyuk reminded himself, in the back of his mind, to keep his voice quiet for the rest of the conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you do,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his eyes falling to his soap covered hands as he pushed the sponge against the tray. His smile dropped. He had to remember he was still supposed to be using Inseong. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to remember that. Inseong was an experiment for him and a path to getting leverage against Jaeyoon. He couldn’t let himself forget that Inseong had nothing to thank him for. If anything, Sanghyuk had things to apologize for, but he couldn’t. He was still using Inseong, and Inseong could </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> know that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?” Inseong asked, raising an eyebrow. “I think I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling you you don’t,” Sanghyuk told him gently, dropping the sponge in the sink and moving to rinse the soap from the tray before handing it to Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I do,” Inseong denied, pulling the tray from Sanghyuk’s hands and focusing his eyes as he dried it. “I have so many-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to thank me for anything,” Sanghyuk interrupted him quietly. “I have things to thank you for, too,” he confessed, thinking of the way Inseong had made him relax, the care Inseong had put into their friendship, his new job, and the break it had given him from Dawon. In all honesty, Sanghyuk had ignored Dawon for the past month. News stations had begun talking about how Dawon hadn’t made any new moves, and yet every time Chanhee wanted to bring it up he pushed him away or changed the subject. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like he could say it to himself with confidence now that he had spent time living a normal life around Inseong. He didn’t want to be Dawon anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Sanghyuk lifted his eyes he felt his entire body freeze. His hands froze as he scrubbed the next pan, the water washing away the soap and running over his hands. His eyes looked past Inseong who had never lifted his eyes from the towel in front of him. Behind Inseong was a wall that led down the hallway towards the offices, and behind that wall was the shadow of Chanhee. He barely popped out, but Sanghyuk could see the way his fingers twitched at Sanghyuk’s words, just barely in the light. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did Chanhee go?” Sanghyuk asked quickly, barely able to move his eyes from the spot in the hallway. When Inseong lifted his head, though, Sanghyuk was quick to shift his attention to lock eyes with Inseong. “We can finish these after,” he decided, running his hands under the water quickly and grabbing the towel from Inseong’s hands, drying his hands with it. “I think he said he was getting the extra labels from Youngkyun’s office. I’ll go make sure he’s found them. Be right back,” he rambled, walking quickly around Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked down the hallway with no words, simply grabbing Chanhee’s wrist as he walked past him, dragging him silently with him down the hallway. Neither of them spoke a word until they made it to Youngkyun’s office. Sanghyuk pushed Chanhee inside quickly and shut the door behind himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Were you just standing there listening to us the whole time?!” Sanghyuk asked, really not meaning to sound as angry as it came out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee dropped his head to the ground, his fingers curling around his arm in a protective manner. Sanghyuk dropped everything quickly, moving over to Chanhee with gentle steps. He moved his arm carefully, his fingers barely grazing over Chanhee’s hair before his head slowly rose up, his eyes almost glaring at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chanhee asked in a less than delicate voice, his lips pulling back in a slight grimace. Sanghyuk felt his lips part open at Chanhee’s sudden anger. He blinked at the younger boy, trying to think of anything he honestly kept from the boy. But deep down, past the part of him that refused to admit it, Sanghyuk knew what he had kept from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a month and a half. Over a </span>
  <em>
    <span>month,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sanghyuk. Why didn’t you tell me?!” Chanhee asked him again, and this time Sanghyuk could really see the hurt behind his expression. “Instead of just ignoring me and walking away from me, why didn’t you tell me this?! Why didn’t you tell me something was changing?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When?” Chanhee asked strictly, cutting him off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt the urge to stumble back, although completely out of his control. “When… when what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did you start seeing Inseong as more than just a plan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s question sent Sanghyuk into a wave of shock he truly couldn’t explain. It felt like a bullet had just torn through the center of his chest, knocking every molecule of air from his lungs as he recoiled from the pressure of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee looked down to the ground, wincing before he looked back up at Sanghyuk. He brought his other arm around his chest as if he was hugging himself. But why did he need to do that? Why did he need to stand like he was protecting or comforting himself?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, </span>
  <em>
    <span>when?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk answered honestly in nothing more than a whisper. And that was when he realized the wince in Chanhee’s expression wasn’t from any hesitation he had about saying what he said. Chanhee was holding back tears building up in his eyes. “Chanhee…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I’m right?” Chanhee asked, taking a step back from Sanghyuk as he reached out for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee why are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could you… I mean… how did you let this happen… and you didn’t even tell me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt emotions building up behind his eyes just hearing Chanhee so hurt by him. He could hear it in the way Chanhee spoke and the way he recoiled from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should have told you,” Sanghyuk confessed quickly, taking another step towards Chanhee. “But Chanhee… it’s still a plan. That hasn’t changed. And I didn’t want to admit it to myself either so… I didn’t even… I mean-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re lying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not lying,” Sanghyuk told him sternly. “I’m telling you the truth!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said it’s still a plan!” Chanhee reminded him, looking up at him as a tear fell down his cheek. His eyes narrowed at Sanghyuk and he could feel the bullet tearing through his skin and muscles as Chanhee continued glaring at him like that. “But I think you’re lying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I’m not. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> still a plan,” Sanghyuk tried, feeling himself break to pieces as he felt his grip on Chanhee falling out of his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it?” Chanhee challenged, stepping toward him. “Then did you ever ask Inseong if Jaeyoon would be at the charity event?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s skin went cold as Chanhee took a threatening step towards him, and this time it was Sanghyuk’s turn to step back. Another tear fell from Chanhee’s cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you ever stop to think that you might run into Jaeyoon because of Inseong? No, you didn’t,” Chanhee scolded him. “Well guess what? Jaeyoon was planning on going, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Youngkyun</span>
  </em>
  <span> convinced him not to, because he knew you would be there. But not only that, Jaeyoon knows your name now. How long until you have to meet him, be it Inseong’s request or because he walks into the cafe while you’re working one day?!” Sanghyuk opened his mouth to defend himself, but Chanhee didn’t let him. “Sanghyuk, Jaeyoon knows your name. Let that sink in. You’ve kept your identity from him for eight years, but now because you became attached to a single person, he knows your name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon… knew his name? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re slipping up,” Chanhee told him, no cover to his words. “You’re fucking up everything to work day in and day out at a cafe which was </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> part of the plan. Do you… do you even remember what the original plan was?” he asked, more tears falling from his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Befriend Inseong,” Sanghyuk told Chanhee, gritting his teeth together. He felt tears welling up in his own eyes but he really, really tried not to let them fall. “That was the original plan. By any means necessary, make myself a part of his life so I can get information.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what information have you gotten exactly?” Chanhee challenged him. “You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Jaeyoon abuses Inseong because you have no evidence. You just assume. Because of everything you’ve seen, you assume, and yet you still haven’t gotten the evidence to prove what you found.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You introduced yourself to him over a month ago. What is taking you so fucking long?! You went in there to find dirt on Jaeyoon. You don’t need to stay around Inseong anymore to find what you need, because clearly Inseong isn’t giving it to you! It’s time to </span>
  <em>
    <span>move on</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Chanhee told him, and Sanghyuk could hear the strain in his voice from holding himself back. He had to keep his voice low because of everybody else in the house, but it was obvious he wanted to scream. It was obvious he wanted to push against Sanghyuk and shove him into the wall as he yelled and took out all of his frustration on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if I care about Inseong now?” Sanghyuk asked, biting his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you’re a fucking idiot,” Chanhee spat at him. “Can you even see what’s going on around you? Your people are going missing and ending up dead. Dawon hasn’t made an appearance in a month, and the last appearance he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> make wasn’t even you! Jaeyoon knows your name and wants to meet you, and yet all you can seem to focus on is Inseong! It’s Inseong everything! You </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s being abused and you always want to focus on him now. But you’re getting distracted!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if I want to get distracted?” Sanghyuk threatened, holding his chin up high as he challenged Chanhee to yell at him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to get distracted… then don’t be so shocked when everything falls apart around you because you can’t keep your eyes straight,” Chanhee whispered. “But if you want to get distracted, then at least have the courage to call it what it is instead of being a coward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what exactly is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s you giving up,” Chanhee told him flatly. “You’re dropping everything around you for Inseong and you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>giving up</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You need to decide if that’s what it is or not, because if you stay just ‘being distracted’ you’re gonna get yourself killed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> giving up,” Sanghyuk told him with absolute certainty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then if it came between choosing Dawon or Inseong, would you choose Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to answer that. He wanted to say ‘yes’ just to see the glare on Chanhee’s face falter. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t say that honestly. Something tugged at his mind like a rider on a horse. Because he didn’t know what he would choose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then would it be Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk confessed finally, closing his eyes and breathing in steadily to calm himself down. He couldn’t let Chanhee’s words get the best of him if he was still in the house with everyone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s called being distracted. Either cut Inseong out or give up, because you only have two options at this point Hyuk,” Chanhee told him, sighing as he moved his hands up to his cheeks to wipe them dry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you stay by my side if I chose Inseong?” Sanghyuk finally asked, and he saw the way Chanhee froze in front of him. “Or would you leave me for the identity of a coward who has the audacity to call himself a villain? Would you really rather waste your life chasing that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think it’s a waste?” Chanhee asked, and Sanghyuk could only look down to the ground. “I don’t,” he finished, walking past Sanghyuk and out the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do think it’s a waste,” Sanghyuk mumbled to himself, feeling wetness gathering in his eyes as he looked to the door Chanhee had left open behind him. “Because of me… it’s been a waste for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello! Thank you for coming! I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!” Sanghyuk spoke cheerfully, still feeling a pit in his stomach from the day before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee hadn’t spoken to him since then, and honestly Sanghyuk couldn’t blame him. But this was one of their worst fights. No matter what, Chanhee always talked to Sanghyuk, even if Chanhee was in the wrong. This time, like most others, Sanghyuk was in the wrong. Sanghyuk wanted to go talk to Chanhee, but he didn’t know what to say yet. He still didn’t have an answer for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were right. You really are just a friendly person at heart,” Inseong told him with a genuine smile, much more sincere than the mostly fake one Sanghyuk was displaying. He dropped it as soon as Inseong commented on it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired,” he admitted, causing Inseong to laugh. If only he knew how much of the truth that was, even when he displayed it like a joke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now, the sun was high in the sky, shining down over the park and bringing smiles to everyone’s faces. Despite it being past the middle of November now, today was one of the warmer days. The leaves on the trees were falling off, drifting to the ground and giving all the little kids new things to step on just to hear the delightful crunch beneath their shoes. Everyone smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did they know they were smiling at Dawon when they bought cookies and wished him well? No, of course not. They didn’t know him. They didn’t know the struggles he was going through. Even as the weather was getting colder, they couldn’t tell what would come next. So when they shook Sanghyuk’s hand or bowed towards him, they had no idea. How could they?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clouds were rolling in from the East, but nobody seemed to notice those either. It was sunny for now, and that was what really mattered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To be honest Sanghyuk felt a bit sick. Everywhere he looked he saw happy families smiling as they came to donate to charity and buy cookies. Could that have been Sanghyuk and Chanhee if he never became Dawon? Could they have had normal lives like everyone else? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” Sanghyuk snapped quickly, placing a smile back on his face. Inseong didn’t seem convinced, but only for a second. He smiled at Sanghyuk and patted him on the shoulder before turning back to the front of the table, lined from end to end with cookies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was Chanhee happy the way they were now? He said he didn’t think of it all as a waste, so was it possible he was completely happy with his life, so hidden in the shadows and stressed all the time? Was it just Sanghyuk that wanted, deep down, for everything to change? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And what if things did change? What if Sanghyuk just left right now and never came back to Inseong? Would that change things for him and Chanhee or would it keep everything the same, just like Chanhee wanted?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But… if he left Inseong, at any point in time, wouldn’t they still meet? Inseong knew Youngkyun and Taeyang, both through Jaeyoon. Were they not bound to still run into each other just because of that? Was Sanghyuk too far in already? Had it really come to a point where he couldn’t just simply back out?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Could he really not just leave?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his breathing becoming a bit heavier as he looked to Inseong who stood in front of him, happily helping families and selling them cookies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His plan had always been to make himself a part of Inseong’s life, but now that Sanghyuk really looked into it, he had made Inseong a part of his life, too. Could Sanghyuk really just leave him? Or had he gone too far this time? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What if he had fucked up for good, so much so that he couldn’t undo everything he had done this time? Before, he had always been able to fix his mistakes. When people framed Sanghyuk for being Dawon, when he was framed for rape, when he was framed for killing an entire family. He had always been able to fix everything. He had always made it right somehow. But the more he thought about everything, the more he felt like this was really something he couldn’t fix. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he ran away now there would be too many consequences. Everything would change anyways, but would it change for the better? What if Sanghyuk and Chanhee just ran away together, just like they had done a year after they first met? But that would mean leaving Youngkyun and Taeyang behind. Inseong would be left in a possibly abusive relationship. People would continue to die because of him. Copycats would never stop. Jaeyoon would always be a hero. So no matter what, in every situation, everything would change, and yet everything would stay the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So even if Sanghyuk felt like he could choose between Inseong and Dawon… could he ever choose Dawon knowing it would mean he would have to leave Inseong? Or could he ever choose Inseong knowing it would mean abandoning Dawon? Was it that simple that he only had two completely impossible choices? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” Inseong called, causing Sanghyuk to jump out of his thoughts like Inseong had sent a small shock of electricity through him. “Are you okay?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. “You… you honestly haven’t looked too okay since you went to find Chanhee yesterday.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he noticed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Sanghyuk lied quickly, turning back to the front table. Inseong grabbed onto his wrist before he could fully turn around, pulling him back to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you aren’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” Sanghyuk told him quickly with a shake of his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It does to me,” Inseong replied without a single breath in between their words, curling his fingers tighter around Sanghyuk’s wrist as if he was keeping him there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just need a second to sit down,” Sanghyuk mumbled, blinking at Inseong’s fingers curled around his wrist. “I’m just lightheaded,” he lied, although now that he thought about it, it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> a lie. He felt like if he thought about it anymore he could really pass out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then tell me you need to sit down. Don’t just stand there and feel that way,” Inseong scolded, tsking at him before forcing him to sit down. Sanghyuk let himself be pushed down in the chair with only a pout, but just as he fell into the chair, his eyes caught a glimpse above the table. The clouds began rolling over the sun, no people approached the table, and all heads turned to see the beautiful car roll to a stop in front of the park. A well recognizable, shining, Bentley Continental GT.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was up from the chair within milliseconds of sitting down, Inseong’s eyes already locked on the car. His whole body was frozen, his eyes now appearing distant. The entire view of the park shifted to the car, as if everything around him was focusing in on it. Inseong’s muscles tensed and Sanghyuk’s lungs stopped working.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought Jaeyoon wasn’t coming?” Sanghyuk asked, looking worriedly to Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… he wasn’t supposed to,” Inseong confessed in a low voice, his demeanor cracking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon got out of the car with a smile, just a speck of dust in the distance while fans screamed and began to crowd around him. He looked a bit overwhelmed, but Sanghyuk barely noticed it. He turned his entire body to Inseong. He opened his mouth to say something, but his voice got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t ask Inseong what the plan was. Inseong wasn’t Chanhee, he wouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> a plan! Right now, Sanghyuk needed Chanhee. Jaeyoon was in front of him, and he had to get out before Jaeyoon could approach him. If Jaeyoon came up to see Inseong, he would meet Sanghyuk, too. He would recognize his voice for sure. He would find out who he is. He would know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips as his entire body went numb, his throat feeling dry and scratchy. If he ran now, Inseong would be able to guess. Then Inseong would know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he ran to preserve his identity Inseong would know. But if he stayed by Inseong’s side now, Jaeyoon would know, wouldn’t he? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he chose Dawon… he would have to leave Inseong. But if he chose Inseong… he would be discovered. This is what Chanhee had meant by getting distracted? Because now that he had no more than seconds to make a decision, he couldn’t make it. And if he didn’t do something soon, the decision would be made for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The heel of his foot twitched like he wanted to run away, but he felt his fingers grabbing onto the material of Inseong’s shirt like he wanted to stay. He couldn’t stay. He would be screwed if he stayed, but what would happen if he ran!? Everything would collapse if he ran now! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t…” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling, unable to tear his eyes away from Jaeyoon. “I don’t know what to do.” It wasn’t loud enough for Inseong to hear, but it sounded like a drum echoing in his ears, bouncing off the walls inside his brain and refusing to die out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk, for the first time, was beginning to regret this plan. And he was regretting it hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[November 26, 2004] [15 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 9]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hated the smell of the hospital. Every time he inhaled, all he could smell was hospital. Every time he looked around himself, all he could see was hospital. He wanted it gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stretched his legs out across the floor in front of himself, exhaling as he leaned his back against the walls. His hands fell in his lap with little effort and he felt himself sighing as the back of his head rolled against the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished, more than anything, he had something to curse at now. But all he had was the empty room in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed again, tilting his head down as his eyes filled with tears. Why was he all alone here? His grandparents had gone out again and left him alone here, but he knew he wasn’t supposed to be left alone. Who else in their right mind would have left him alone like this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room should have been filled to the brim with people. Friends and family should have come from all over to bow to the pictures set up on the altar. They should have come to replace the flowers and leave behind their condolences. They were supposed to stay with him here if they really cared. He didn’t know much, but that was just how funerals worked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So why was nobody here with him now? Why was he just all alone?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. He looked slowly to his right, finding nothing more than the familiar pictures of his parents, both framed and displayed on the altar. But there were no flowers behind them to replace. Nobody had bought flowers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad,” Sanghyuk called quietly, wanting to speak louder but not having the energy to. His voice cracked with sadness when he spoke due to the fact that he really hadn’t spoken in days. His eyes welled with tears again, and he knew he couldn’t do anything to stop it no matter how much he tried. “Dad, why is nobody here?” he asked, his voice breaking to pieces as he spoke. “People should have come to see you. Why did only a few people come? Why.. why did they… why did they leave so quickly?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved to wipe at his eyes again, staining the cuffs of the suit he never wanted to wear in the first place. “Dad, why do they really think you did it?” Sanghyuk found himself crying, his voice straining as he began sobbing, falling to his knees, hands braced against the floor as he finally let out the cries he had held in for days now. “Dad I know you didn’t do it. But nobody believes me! They all didn’t come because they don’t believe me!” he cried out, his arms becoming weak as he collapsed onto the ground, curling into himself as he cried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom knew you didn’t do it,” Sanghyuk cried out through his tears, biting his lip to try and quiet himself, but he knew it was out of his control now. “Mom, you knew right? You knew he didn’t do it, right? Did you believe him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to believe his mom would tell him she knew, but he wouldn’t be able to hear her answer now. Sanghyuk closed his eyes as he continued crying, hugging his knees to his chest. “But… but why did nobody else believe us? They didn’t come. They think you did it and they didn’t come!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hit his hands against the floor as hard as he could until he saw light scrapes and stains of blood on his knuckles, but nobody would be there to bandage them up. He pressed his forehead against the floor as he cried into it, his tears pooling on the ground after they slid down his cheeks and over his chin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need you to come back!” Sanghyuk called out, wishing the floor would just swallow him into its nothingness already. “Please… please I want you to come back! I don’t want to be alone here,” he continued, wincing as he pressed his hands into the ground, pain radiating from his knuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sniffled as he forced himself to look back up to the framed pictures, but he could barely see them through the tears clouding his vision. “I saw a funeral in a move once,” Sanghyuk confessed, choking on his words as he spoke. “A grandma died. And when her family came to the… to the funeral… they bowed to the pictures and… and wished the family well. They said things like ‘I’m sorry’ and… and ‘I’m here for you.’ They brought foo- food and talked about how much they- they missed her,” Sanghyuk rambled, barely able to hear his own words clearly through his crying. “But nobody said those things to me,” he confessed in a small voice, falling back down to the ground. He hugged his arms around himself again, making himself small. “They came and told me I was safe now. They said… they said it would be okay now. They didn’t look sorry… or sad. They just… it was just pity. They pitied me for living until now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled again, closing his eyes as he tried to convince himself he could just disappear if he tried hard enough. “So why did you two give up when there’s still so much to live through?” Sanghyuk asked, curling his lips back. “Why did you leave me here to be pitied?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk jumped up at the sound of a creak on the floor, only to see the frame of another child through his blurry vision. He quickly wiped his eyes. What he saw was a small child, too old to even be in school yet probably. The small kid stood by the door, fingers curling into the door frame as his eyes moved from Sanghyuk to the pictures on the altar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, pushing himself back against the wall he had originally been sitting against. “Who are you?” he asked, not even looking back up to the kid. “I don’t know you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid didn’t answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you here to pity me, too? Go ahead,” Sanghyuk told him, but still, the kid didn’t say anything. Sanghyuk sighed before lifting his eyes to the kid, who still hadn’t moved from his spot. He had brown hair that hung over his forehead in a simple bowl cut, but one that was clearly well taken care of. His eyes were red, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked the kid over again before sighing. “Are you with the family across the hall? I heard a woman just died from cancer,” Sanghyuk guessed, pulling his hands into his lap after making sure his eyes were dry again. He could still feel the tears on his cheeks anyways, so it didn’t do much. But the kid still didn’t move. “Do you know that woman?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk watched as the kid’s tiny fingers curled around the door frame, holding onto it tightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that woman your mom?” he finally guessed, his heart sinking in his chest as he watched the kid give a simple nod. It was just one, but his eyes looked empty as he gave it. “I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk told him, bowing his head at him. “I hope she rests in peace.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without another word, the small kid started walking further into the room. Sanghyuk watched as he moved over to the altar holding his parent’s pictures. He didn’t stop until he was standing in front of them, and as he stood there he seemed to just focus on each picture by itself, taking them in. Sanghyuk just sat and watched him, wondering if he knew what death even really meant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, the kid turned to the picture of Sanghyuk’s dad, bowing slowly, only to rise and bow to the picture of his mother. Then, the kid turned to Sanghyuk, and slowly he bowed to him, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help but snort at the small kid, not really knowing what else to do. “You know…” he started, looking around the room, empty except for the two of them, “I think you’re the first person to bow to my dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk almost wondered if the kid could understand him, but before he could say anything else the kid was turning around, facing the picture of his dad, and bowing again, as if to make a point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Sanghyuk mumbled, looking down to his hands in his lap. Sanghyuk didn’t see the kid moving across the room until he was sitting by his side, pulling his knees up to his chest as he rested his back against the wall. Sanghyuk wanted to ask him why he was sitting with him, but he didn’t want to risk sending him away. Sanghyuk also didn’t really expect the kid to answer, so he figured he just wouldn’t ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he turned his head back to look at the pictures of his parents, he felt a small hand falling into his own. And when he looked back down, the kid was staring at the pictures too, holding his hand without a single word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To be honest, that simple motion comforted Sanghyuk more than anyone else in his life had so far. That simple act of holding his hand, sitting in silence, made him feel less alone in a world he was completely alone in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[November 26, 2005] [One Year Later] [14 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 10]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s Sanghyuk doing?” one of the kids asked in a judgmental voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I think his psycho dad died around this time last year or something,” a girl replied, as if his mourning was invalid because of who he was mourning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s such a freak anyways. Why do you care?” a different kid asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be quiet! What if he hears you?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who cares? He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> a freak. He should hear it so he knows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sucked in a shaky breath, biting his lip as he stared out the window in front of himself. He could just ignore the other kids. He had to. After all, that’s all he had done since he was forced into this stupid home for unwanted kids. Some of them became friends. They played together and ate together and went to school together. None of them ever approached Sanghyuk, though. At first, Sanghyuk had tried to make friends, but they all knew who he was. He was the son of his father, and everyone seemed to know his father. They didn’t want to play with him. They didn’t want to eat with him. They didn’t want to be in school with him. They just wanted to judge him and call him a freak. He was the one they took their frustrations out on when they were upset at life. But Sanghyuk was upset at life, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we play a joke on him?” one of the girls asked, and Sanghyuk tried to block out their whispers as they talked. He tried to just close his eyes and imagine they weren’t there. If only it worked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One girl tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around before he could tell himself not to. The girl held the phone out for him. “It’s your mom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My mom is dead,” Sanghyuk spat at her, turning back around. Why did they have to be so mean? Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s seriously your mom,” she told him, nodding as he handed him the phone again. “She faked her death and said she’s sorry she doesn’t love you, but she wants to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had thrown his fist before he could stop himself, sending the girl to the ground as all the other kids gasped, stepping back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t hit girls!” one to the boys yelled out at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If she didn’t want to get hit then she shouldn’t be such a fucked up kid!” Sanghyuk screamed at the group of them, cursing them out as tears began streaming down his face again. “My mom is dead! She died a year ago! But you guys just want to joke about her and make me feel sadder!” Sanghyuk screamed at them, feeling his voice ripping his throat apart as he yelled. He felt his heart collapsing in his chest as he yelled, but he just couldn’t stop. “My mom did love me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why did she kill herself?!” the girl on the ground sneered at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Sanghyuk. She left you here so she could die with your fucked up dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think it’s so funny to talk about my family like that’s okay?” Sanghyuk asked the boy who had spoken, tears still streaming down his face. “Is it funny to you? Is my dad being framed and sentenced to death something funny? Is my mom being so sad that she died with him something you want to throw at me because it’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>funny</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Sanghyuk sneered at them, tears still falling down his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax Sanghyuk it’s just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me to relax and don’t tell me it’s just a joke,” Sanghyuk snapped at another kid. “I hate every single one of you. You’re all terrible. I’d never wish something bad on anybody’s families, but I hope yours are doing better now without you, whether they’re dead or not,” Sanghyuk finished, stepping over the girl he had thrown to the ground and walking straight out the door. He had kept walking through the cold air, not bothering to stop for any reason, until he had reached the hospital.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t really know what had brought him there, but he just knew he wanted to be anywhere but that stupid home. He didn’t want to be there anymore. He would run away if he had to. He would go back later and take the money he had slowly collected in several ways, get some clothes, and he would leave. He would find a way to live without those people who despised him so much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nobody paid mind to him as he walked into the hospital, finding his way easily down the familiar corridors to the funeral halls. Of course there were new funerals happening, but he had to go there anyway. He wanted to find something familiar to him, and he couldn’t go home anymore, he didn’t have one. So he would just come here, the last place he had felt truly safe in this world. It was terrible to think the funeral home was that place for him, but already, just by walking in, he felt a sense of familiarity he latched onto. He walked down the halls, right into the room that his parent’s funeral had been held in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a family inside. The room was packed full with people mourning whoever died, and Sanghyuk felt himself freeze at the door. He had come to the funeral of a family he didn’t even know. This wasn’t a place he should have come… he should leave. He had to go. This wasn’t- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when he felt the tug on the fabric of his shirt. He looked to his side with a small jump, eyes going wide as he recognized the face of the small boy that pulled at his shirt. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were bright red. His lips were pulled back in a horrible grimace, and his head hung low. But his hair was still styled as a coconut, and his cheeks hadn’t grown any less puffier over the year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Sanghyuk said immediately, looking back into the room. The picture on the altar was one of an older man, but not so old that he would be considered ancient. Sanghyuk looked back to the small boy with a sad expression. “Is that your dad?” he asked, but the small kid didn’t do or say anything. Sanghyuk crouched down to his knees in front of the kid, grabbing his hands gently. “Has your life been hard, too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid just sniffled, having no other reaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mine has,” Sanghyuk confessed, rubbing his thumb over the kid’s small hands. “I’m sorry. It’s only been a year since your mom… I’m really sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid lifted his head slowly, but only to look back at the picture on the altar. He looked to Sanghyuk once, their eyes meeting, before dropping his head back down to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I greet him?” Sanghyuk asked, understanding immediately what the kid wanted. He stood up easily, still holding one of the kid’s hands in his as he walked further into the room. He brought the kid with him as he walked slowly up to the altar. When he got there, he bowed slowly, staying down for a few seconds before returning up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope he rests in peace,” Sanghyuk told the kid, not letting his eyes stray from the picture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the two walked over to the edge of the room, far away from the altar. They sat against the wall just like they had a year ago. Sanghyuk held the kid’s hand in his as they watched people walk past in silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to see people in this room,” Sanghyuk confessed after a while just sitting in silence. “You have a close family, I can tell. It’s good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, the kid looked up to the corner of the room, his eyes dropping just as quickly as they had risen. Sanghyuk looked over to the corner of the room, spotting an old couple sitting at the table, talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are those your grandparents?” Sanghyuk asked, turning to the kid. He nodded slowly, so slowly that Sanghyuk barely even noticed he was moving his head at first. “So are you staying with them now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid stopped nodding, but he didn’t shake his head ‘no’ either. It was like he didn’t know where he would be staying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you not know?” Sanghyuk guessed, sighing. “I wish I could have stayed with some of my family.” The kid looked up to him as he spoke, as if he was asking Sanghyuk why he didn’t. Sanghyuk gave the kid a small smile. “My family all left. None of them wanted to care for me. Do you remember the funeral? The room was empty,” Sanghyuk explained to him in a low voice, looking around the room now. “That’s why it’s good you have a big family that cares so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid moved his free hand slowly, poking at Sanghyuk’s arm. He looked at Sanghyuk with expecting eyes, but Sanghyuk had no idea what he wanted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? What are you asking me?” Sanghyuk asked, frowning. “Can’t you talk?” The kid nodded, quick small shakes this time instead of slow, empty ones. “Then can’t you just ask me what you want to know?” Sanghyuk asked, but the kid just kept staring at him. This time, Sanghyuk stared back, waiting. Eventually, the kid looked from Sanghyuk to the door leading out of the funeral hall, then back to Sanghyuk again. Sanghyuk’s lips parted as he realized what the boy wanted to know. “You want to know where I’m staying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, the boy nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pressed his lips together, leaning his head back against the wall. “I stay at a home for orphaned kids, now. Do you know what an orphan is? It’s a kid who doesn’t have a family,” Sanghyuk explained, looking back to the kid. “It’s not a good place. I hate it there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, slowly, the kid’s hand moved to point at himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you an orphan?” Sanghyuk asked, and the kid nodded just a tiny bit to show him he was right. “I mean… kind of. But you won’t have to go to one of those homes since you have a lot of other family to take care of you. That’s a good thing,” Sanghyuk assured him, patting his hand gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my, this boy,” an aged voice spoke from above them. The kid’s hands quickly grabbed onto the sleeve of Sanghyuk’s shirt as Sanghyuk looked up to see the kid’s grandmother standing above them. She looked down on them, like she expected Sanghyuk to get up and bow. Instead, he just bowed his head towards her. “Gosh, Chanhee, you have someone here talking to you and you still stay mute?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid—Chanhee—hung his head down to the face the floor, like he didn’t want to see her anywhere near him. His fingers curled tighter into the fabric of Sanghyuk’s shirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?” she asked, turning to Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… uh…” he stuttered, unsure of what to call himself. He couldn’t give the woman his real name because she might recognize it. But she waited expectedly, tapping her foot against the ground. “My name is Dawon,” he lied easily, bowing his head at her again. It was honestly the first name he could come up with, he just hoped it was believable. “Lee Dawon,” he added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And how do you know Chanhee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How old was Chanhee? Was he old enough to be in school now? Sanghyuk knew for sure he wasn’t last year, but he had no other ideas so he just had to hope. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m his big buddy from school,” Sanghyuk lied. He wasn’t sure why he felt so compelled to lie now, but he just felt like who he really was was unacceptable in front of this woman. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The old woman smiled at him, raising her eyebrows in interest. “Well good luck getting this one to be friendly with you. He hasn’t spoken in so long, it’s annoying,” she tsked at him, acknowledging Sanghyuk’s presence one more time before turning and walking away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like her,” Sanghyuk spoke the second she was far enough away, turning towards the kid… Chanhee. “She’s kind of rude. Do you not talk at all since… a year ago? If you don’t want to talk, I think that’s okay. She doesn’t have to be so mean about it,” Sanghyuk told him with a pout. “Are you staying with her? I hope she treats you well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was the part where Sanghyuk said his goodbyes to Chanhee. He had only come to visit, after all. He moved to position himself to stand up, but the way Chanhee held onto his sleeve so tightly made him falter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, are you okay?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as Chanhee turned to face Sanghyuk. “What’s wrong? I have to… I have to go back.” He was going to run away now. He was going to leave for good. Seeing Chanhee had settled him more than he could have asked for, but he had to go now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Chanhee tugged harshly on Sanghyuk’s sleeve, pulling him back towards himself. Sanghyuk was shocked by the force of the pull, furrowing his eyebrows at the small boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I… you don’t…” Chanhee didn’t want him to leave. But it was more than just a boy wanting someone to comfort him. Chanhee wanted to tell him something. “You…” Sanghyuk trailed off, looking back up towards the grandmother. When he turned back to see Chanhee, he was looking at Sanghyuk with an expression that screamed for help. It was Chanhee hoping he wouldn’t leave, now. It was Chanhee begging him to understand something nobody else could understand. Chanhee had understood him a year ago, so Sanghyuk would try to understand him now. “You don’t like her either,” Sanghyuk guessed. Chanhee pulled his lips into a thin line, and that was the answer Sanghyuk needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without hesitation, Sanghyuk grabbed Chanhee’s hand, pulling him outside of the funeral room and out into the hall. He had Chanhee stand against the wall as he knelt in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is she mean to you?” Sanghyuk asked, eyes growing in size with concern. “You have to help me understand, Chanhee. Is she mean to you? Does she hurt you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Chanhee lifted his hand, and it landed at his shoulder. His hand fell slowly, drifting over the entire length of his arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed his hand again, pulling him quickly with him to the bathroom. When they made it there, Sanghyuk moved his hands to the buttons on Chanhee’s shirt. He pulled his jacket off carefully, discarding it on the floor. Chanhee didn’t fight it, rather it was like he was helping him pull it off. And when Sanghyuk finally got Chanhee’s dress shirt off, he saw the marks. There were black and blue bruises across both of his arms and his chest too. There was a large red one on his hip and a few scrapes on his forearm that weren’t even bandaged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did they do this?” Sanghyuk asked, his voice so quiet and scared that he was almost afraid to ask. Chanhee pulled his shirt back on quickly, pulling his jacket over it. He grabbed Sanghyuk’s hand tightly, pulling him back to the funeral room. Sanghyuk ran after him quickly, following him with nothing but a thought-frozen mind. Chanhee’s family wasn’t as good as it seemed just because it was big. They abused him, and it was so well hidden Sanghyuk hadn’t even been able to guess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Chanhee finally stopped, it was at the door to the funeral hall. He grabbed the sleeve of Sanghyuk’s shirt, looking right at his grandparents in the corner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They did this to you?” Sanghyuk asked, looking to Chanhee. But then Chanhee shifted his gaze. Now, he looked at a young couple on the other side of the room. “Or… did they…?” Chanhee looked somewhere else again, this time at a man standing by himself against another wall in the room. “And… him?” Chanhee turned his head again, now looking at a small girl, around Sanghyuk’s age, holding her parent’s hands. “Her too?” Sanghyuk asked, and for that one, Chanhee pointed at a spot on his skin where Sanghyuk remembered a small blue bruise being. Then he looked at another old man standing closer to the altar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… did all of these people hurt you…?” Sanghyuk asked, not being able to tear his eyes away from the family he believed to be so good. He thought just because Chanhee had a family, that meant his family was good. But he had been wrong. He had been so wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed onto Chanhee’s hand, kneeling down to face him. “When the funeral is over, who do you go home with?” Sanghyuk asked. Chanhee raised his eyes to his grandparents before looking back to Sanghyuk. “Is there anyone else you can stay with that won’t hurt you? Anybody?” Sanghyuk was hoping with everything in him that Chanhee would look to someone he wanted to stay with in the room, but Chanhee just simply moved his hand so the tip of his finger was nearly touching the center of Sanghyuk’s chest. He was pointing at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was caught off guard by that movement, but it made sense. Sanghyuk had talked about a home where he lived. Did Chanhee want to go there with him now? Was there really nobody else that could keep him safe? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… I…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was when Chanhee’s eyes began filling with tears again, lips almost pulling back as he grabbed Sanghyuk’s hands. Sanghyuk looked with shaky eyes around the family in the room before looking back to Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… I’m leaving tonight,” Sanghyuk confessed. “I’m going back to the home to get my things and I’m… I’m running away.” Chanhee bit his lip quickly, holding onto Sanghyuk’s hand tightly and pulling him, in no specific direction, but rather like he just wanted him there. “Chanhee I can’t take you back with me. They hurt me there, too,” Sanghyuk told him, rolling up his sleeve to show the boy the bruises covering his arms and the small scrapes on his elbows from being thrown to the ground so many times. “They… they won’t treat you good there, either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And yet Chanhee still held tightly onto his hand, so tightly that Sanghyuk would feel terrible if he even tried to pull his hand away. He couldn’t leave Chanhee with these people. Chanhee had been his only comfort in the past year; his only friend, as terrible as that sounded. If he called someone they would send him to a home just like Sanghyuk was in now. Chanhee would be in his exact position a year later. Would he want to run away, too? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you…” Sanghyuk began, lifting his eyes to meet Chanhee’s. “Do you want to come with me instead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded quickly, holding even tighter on Sanghyuk’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, it’ll be hard. Nobody will be there to take care of us. There will be no toys, and we’ll have to find our own food.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there would be nobody to hurt them either, and Chanhee didn’t have to say it for Sanghyuk to understand he wanted to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? Do you really want to go with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded again, so quickly Sanghyuk felt his heart ripping to pieces for the boy he had only met twice now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just nod at me,” Sanghyuk told him, grabbing his hands in return. “I’ll be taking you from your family. You have to tell me you want to go. You have to be absolutely sure,” Sanghyuk told him, holding his hands just as tightly as he held his. “I need you to tell me you want to go with me, even though it’ll be hard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Chanhee’s lips curled into a bitter smile, struggling to keep it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to go with you,” Chanhee told him with a cracked voice, so delicate and fragile Sanghyuk was afraid the boy would shatter to pieces in his hands. “It’ll be hard, but I want to go with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we’ll go together,” Sanghyuk promised. “And I’ll keep you safe.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. No Answer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Do you want to run?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The question was out of Sanghyuk’s lips before he even realized he had opened his mouth. His fingers still held tightly onto Inseong’s shirt as he latched onto him and their eyes met with a certain unspoken confusion. Sanghyuk wasn’t really sure where it was coming from, or maybe it was just him and Inseong didn’t notice it at all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But the question still hung in the air, unanswered. Did Inseong want to run? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like he was ten years old all over again, staring at the boy in front of him, who definitely wasn’t as small as Chanhee was then, with a certain amount of concern. Back then, Chanhee had been abused, and as a child he had no restraint or common sense when he had asked to run away with Sanghyuk. But Inseong wasn’t a five year old kid. Inseong had common sense and would probably never suggest running away. But if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> being abused… was it possible he wanted that just as much as five year old Chanhee had, no matter how old he was?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Run away?” Inseong asked, blinking down at him, his lips parting slightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have twenty seconds before Jaeyoon sees you. You don’t have to explain your decision to me. Right now, do you want to run away?” Sanghyuk asked, dead serious, hyper aware of the feeling of Inseong’s shirt still clenched between his fingers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If Inseong said yes, that would be his decision. He would run away while still keeping Inseong by his side. He wouldn’t have to choose one or the other. But the final decision was up to Inseong, who seemed just as ‘distracted’ as Sanghyuk had been for a long time now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why… why would I want to- to run away?” Inseong asked, stuttering and fumbling over his words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you just saying ‘no’ then?” Sanghyuk asked through a breath. Inseong looked like he was about to clear his throat, but gave no sound. He avoided Sanghyuk’s eyes, lost in his own thoughts. He couldn’t say no. No matter how many times his lips parted to say it, he couldn’t do it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could feel his heart beating in his chest as everything moved in slow motion. Jaeyoon waved to his crowd of fans, Inseong blinked between him and his boyfriend, unable to make a decision, and Sanghyuk felt himself becoming more and more nervous. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I don’t know,” Inseong finally mumbled, looking back to Sanghyuk with a dazed expression. “I don’t think I can run away, though.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But do you want to?” Sanghyuk asked, more for his own benefit than Inseong’s at this point. He desperately wanted Inseong to choose to run away so he could keep things the way they were. He felt like he was almost begging Inseong indirectly at this point, clinging onto his shirt and pulling at him the same way Chanhee had done to him. “If you want to, then don’t worry about what will happen later. You can blame it on me. But right now, in this moment, do you want to be here with him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Inseong answered without hesitation, shaking his head. “I don’t… I don’t want him to be here,” he finished in a mumble. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then say you want to run away and I’ll get you out of here,” Sanghyuk promised, licking his lips as he anticipated Inseong’s response. He didn’t deserve Inseong’s agreement after everything he had done, but he couldn’t ask for anything more in his life right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong looked back to Jaeyoon quickly before looking back to Sanghyuk, and everything seemed to fall into an endless frozen period of time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to run away.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s hand was laced with Inseong’s before Inseong had even taken another breath. Sanghyuk pulled him, running around the tables and pulling him out of the area as fast as he could. It felt like slow motion as he pulled the boy around the tables and crowds of people, his feet pounding against the ground and arms swinging with Inseong’s. He could feel Inseong’s fingers tightening around his hand as he followed behind him and he could feel his heart beating in his chest with relief. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wouldn’t choose between Inseong and Dawon. He chose them both. That was his decision, and if that meant he chose distraction, then so be it. Sanghyuk would brace whatever was to come with that decision. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This way,” he mumbled, more to himself than Inseong, pulling him in between a line of trees. They came out on the other side of the park by the streets filled with people and cars. Some of them turned their heads, looking at them. They would know Inseong’s face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Head down,” Sanghyuk told Inseong, moving in front of him and lifting his hands to the side of Inseong’s face, gently angling it downwards. “Trust me to guide you, okay?” Sanghyuk asked, grabbing Inseong’s hand again before pulling him across the street. Right now he really wished he had his skateboard, but that wouldn’t do much good for him with Inseong. He would have to settle for a car. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The problem was, Chanhee had dropped him and Inseong off here and left with the car earlier, and Sanghyuk couldn’t hijack a car with Inseong by his side. For once, he would have to do things like a normal person would. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled Inseong close to his side, waving his hand out to the street to flag down a taxi. One pulled to the curb easily, and Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to shove Inseong inside. He got in after him, quickly closing the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where to?” the driver asked, looking over the seats.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But… where were they going? Sanghyuk couldn’t just bring Inseong to his house, the entire wall connecting the Xang bodies and Dawon was displayed out in the open for anyone to see. That was partly his fault. And Sanghyuk definitely wasn't risking bringing Inseong back to his own home; that would be one of the first places Jaeyoon would check. He couldn’t bring him to Youngkyun and Taeyang because Taeyang wouldn’t understand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bukchon Hanok Village, please,” Sanghyuk found himself requesting, his lips pulling into a small smile as he requested it. The driver nodded, pulling away from the curb.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why there?” Inseong asked, turning to look at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well we can’t go anywhere else right now, so we might as well go sightseeing,” Sanghyuk decided with a nod. “Plus, it’ll be a nice relaxer.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get in trouble for running away,” Inseong mumbled, turning his head to the window. “That was… that was a bad idea. We shouldn’t have-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Blame me,” Sanghyuk told him instantly, without hesitation. It was just as bad of an idea to use himself as an excuse to Jaeyoon, but he didn’t care anymore. “Tell…” Sanghyuk looked to the driver sitting in the front of the car, “him. Tell him I got really sick and you had to bring me home. Okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think he’ll believe that,” Inseong mumbled, facing his lap with a sad expression. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I get migraines,” Sanghyuk confessed suddenly, fiddling with his fingers in his lap to distract himself. “It happens at least once a month, usually, and they’re so bad that I’ll collapse and start screaming. It just happens. Tell him that happened.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait… really?” Inseong asked, turning to him with wide eyes. “You… that bad?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk confirmed with a nod. “This month has actually been pretty good so far, though. I haven’t had nearly as many headaches as I usually do, and I haven’t had a migraine in October yet, so I’d consider that pretty good. But we can lie and say that happened.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Hyuk,” Inseong told him, his lips pulling into a thin line of a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For what?” Sanghyuk asked, shrugging. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For understanding… even though you don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, reaching out to grab Inseong’s hand to hold it comfortingly. “I’d understand better if you explained it to me,” Sanghyuk pointed out, lifting his eyes to Inseong’s. He wanted Inseong to tell him what it was. He wanted to know how bad it was or how it happened. “And… if you don’t explain it to me… I might assume things,” he added, making sure to stress the truth of it. “But you also don’t have to explain anything to me,” he finished, smiling as he patted Inseong’s hand again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think… I’d rather you assume things,” Inseong confessed, his smile dropping. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Even if I assume worse than what’s actually happening?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes dropped to his lap, his shoulders dropping a bit. He took a breath before nodding slowly. “I don’t think you could.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really felt his heart break at those words. He felt like every bit of him had turned to fragile glass, and Inseong’s words had caused him to crack. Could Sanghyuk really not assume worse than it was? Was it that bad? It didn’t seem to be that deep, but was Sanghyuk <em>that</em> wrong?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They didn’t speak until they arrived at Bukchon Hanok Village, and Sanghyuk made it his goal to make Inseong smile as much as he could while he was here. He pulled Inseong out of the car by the hand, smiling at their surroundings. Bukchon Hanok Village was a site of history in Seoul, home to more wooden and traditional homes than any other place in Seoul. It reflected society during the Joseon Dynasty. Strangely, the air also felt clearer there and the clouds had cleared to reveal the sun now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So… what exactly are we going to do here?” Inseong asked, laughing at the expression of wonder on Sanghyuk’s face. In all honesty, he had never been here before. He had always seen the village, but he had never had a reason to come visit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever we want,” Sanghyuk decided, reaching into the zipped pocket of his pants to pull out his black face mask. He had forgotten it was even with him, but Chanhee never let him leave the house without one. He pulled it out carefully, hooking it over Inseong’s ears and tucking it over his nose. “There,” he said cutely with a smile, reaching down to grab Inseong’s hand again. He pulled him off down the roads, smiling at the structures around him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Stand there!” Inseong decided after a while, pointing to an aesthetic brick wall next to them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Me? Why?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as he walked over to the wall anyways. Inseong was quick to pull out his phone, opening the camera. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have any pictures of you. It’s unfair. Here, smile!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, I’m not good in pictures!” Sanghyuk protested, shaking his head. People never took pictures of him. He only had a few pictures of himself in them, and those few were when Youngkyun or Taeyang forced him to take pictures. He had his school ID pictures and the group home pictures he was forced into with Chanhee, but other than that, there really were none. “I don’t even know how to stand! What do you do in a picture?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you serious?!” Inseong asked, laughing. His eyes crinkled above his mask, clearly enjoying Sanghyuk’s trivial worries. “You’ve never posed for a picture before?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I never get my picture taken,” Sanghyuk confessed, backing up against the wall. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, so just stand there,” Inseong decided, raising his camera as he took a step back. “And stop looking so miserable.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How do I just look less miserable?!” Sanghyuk asked, gaping at Inseong. This was ridiculous. “I always look like this…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just imagine I’m not taking a picture and give me your best genuine smile!” Inseong decided, smiling at him. Sanghyuk really tried, flashing his teeth in a smile while shaking his head like that was making anything better. He put his hands up in a peace sign like he had seen so many people do, but as soon as he tried Inseong just snorted in laughter. It wasn’t just a small burst of laughter, Inseong actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>snorted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sanghyuk felt himself collapsing from laughing so hard the second the noise escaped Inseong, having to close his eyes he was laughing so hard. “There we go!” Inseong cheered on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sobered up immediately, running over to the phone quickly, gaping at Inseong. “You made me laugh to take pictures!” Sanghyuk accused, and all Inseong could do was give him a goofy smile in return. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Take some with me,” Inseong decided, pulling down his mask to have it positioned over his chin before raising the camera. He threw his arm around Sanghyuk’s shoulders, pulling him close. When Inseong flipped the camera, he could see both of their faces on the screen, Inseong looking more than happy while Sanghyuk just looked kind of awkward. “Smile idiot!” Inseong called out, and the name gave Sanghyuk no choice but to smile. Inseong ended up getting several pictures of Sanghyuk smiling, and eventually he got a few of Sanghyuk smiling while looking into the camera, too. That was a miracle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On their walk, they passed by several stores selling traditional drinks and foods, and even some with traditional dressings and hair accessories. Sanghyuk was barely interested in them, but he offered to go inside every single one in case Inseong wanted to. He never did. Just like Sanghyuk, all he wanted to do was walk around and enjoy the scenery. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed for several hours, taking pictures in the most ridiculous places and playing funny games while they walked. Sanghyuk actually felt his jaw hurting after a while from smiling and laughing so much, and a few times they had laughed so hard Inseong felt like he had to stop and catch his breath. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for today,” Inseong said quietly. The two of them were at the edge of the village now sitting on a wooden bench and drinking juice they had bought at a small convenience store down the street. The sky was slowly starting to fade to a darker color, stars popping out only at the horizon, but you had to look very carefully to see them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t laughed like that in a while,” Sanghyuk confessed. “I mean, my family is funny and all, but lately… it’s just hard to find moments like this.” Sanghyuk pulled the straw to his lips again, sipping at his juice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You already know I don’t have anyone to spend moments like this with,” Inseong reminded him, copying him as he lifted the straw to his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have me, now,” Sanghyuk told him, pulling his juice down to his lap. “So if you ever need to have another moment like this, call me. I won’t hesitate, okay?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did I do in my past lives to deserve meeting you in this one?” Inseong wondered out loud, and Sanghyuk felt like a prick for letting him think he was some sort of angel. Inseong’s past lives must have been terrible for him to end up in this scenario, stuck between his abusive boyfriend and the villain of the city. But Sanghyuk didn’t comment on it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Past lives…” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling. “I wonder what mine was like.” He must have been a real asshole in his life before this one, and even now, he knew his next life would probably be even worse. He was just destined to fall down every rung of the ladder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“SANGHYUK!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s head shot up as he heard a voice calling his name. A familiar man in a suit dashed toward him, completely out of breath. It was only then that Sanghyuk noticed the police lights coming from where he ran from. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stood from the bench quickly, bowing to the man. “Hello Daniel.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank god!” he cried, completely out of breath as he stumbled in front of Sanghyuk. “Can you… have you been able to reach Youngkyun or Taeyang?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t tried calling them,” Sanghyuk confessed, placing the juice on the bench before reaching forward to grab the man’s shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you…” Daniel asked, looking to Inseong. “Are you Jaeyoon’s boyfriend?” Inseong nodded slowly, still sitting on the bench. “Good. Please call him, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on, Daniel?” Sanghyuk asked quickly, determined not to let Inseong call Jaeyoon if he could avoid it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They found another body,” he breathed out, angling his head down. “There’s another one. He’s clearly been there for a while too and-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Daniel, slow down, it’s okay!” Sanghyuk was quick to assure. “Jesus, you’ve been at like every site this happens. What the fuck? Okay… uhm. Youngkyun isn’t answering?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Taeyang isn’t either,” Daniel added with a distressed nod. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled out his phone quickly, dialing Youngkyun’s number and pulling the phone to his ear. The phone rang out, and Sanghyuk sighed before trying Taeyang. Neither of them answered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sanghyuk mumbled, immediately sobering himself up completely. If there was ever a moment to be competent for once, this was it. “I still have the pass Youngkyun gave me. I can handle a majority of the employee related requests by the police and I can manage the situation in place of Youngkyun and put bigger issues off on hold,” Sanghyuk confirmed, sliding his phone into his pocket. “What I need you to do is call a taxi for Inseong and get him home safe.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you can’t be serious,” Inseong interjected, standing up. “Since when can you handle Xang business? Maybe I really should call Jaeyoon…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You said you didn’t want to explain anything to me, right?” Sanghyuk asked, turning to Inseong. Inseong stared back at him with wide, innocent eyes, but Sanghyuk kept his expression stern. “This is my turn to not explain my choices. Please don’t call Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inseong’s brows furrowed at Sanghyuk’s request. “But he could help,” Inseong reminded him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want him to help,” Sanghyuk told him carefully. “Don’t call Jaeyoon. Take a taxi home and tell Jaeyoon I had a migraine and you had to take care of me. Please go home and stay safe. You don’t need to deal with a body.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Neither do you!” Inseong interjected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I already have,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile made up of nothing but his lips pulled into a thin line. Inseong’s lips fell open at his words, but Sanghyuk didn’t give him a chance to add anything else before turning to the manager. “I’ll be fine. Daniel. Please call Inseong a taxi and have him brought home.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk walked away from the both of them without another word while Daniel quickly pulled out his phone. He only walked a small distance away as he waited for Daniel, and in the meantime he pulled out his phone. He dialed the number without hesitation, pulling the device to his ear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk where the fuck have you been?” Chanhee asked the second the line connected. “Jaeyoon showed up at the charity even and-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Inseong and I ran,” Sanghyuk told him quickly. “But this isn’t about that. Chanhee, I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I’ll tell you now. I choose Inseong and… I’m in public so I won’t say it. But I choose both, not one or the other. Don’t lecture me on how bad of an idea it is. Right now I need you at the Gahoe-Dong Xang site. They found another body and neither Youngkyun or Taeyang are answering their phones.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re not answering?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I need help handling their shit until they decide to pick up their phones, so please come here quickly.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hung up after that, adjusting his phone to pull out the pass Youngkyun had given him. He walked toward the police lights confidently, moving his hand to style his hair a bit better.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, no civilians allowed,” the cop said within seconds of Sanghyuk approaching, holding his hand out to stop him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“CEOs Kim Youngkyun and Yoo Taeyang are unavailable for whatever reason right now,” Sanghyuk said as professionally as he could, holding up his phone for the cop to see. “I’ll be representing the company on their behalf until further notice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The legal team is already here,” the cop informed him quickly, holding up the police tape to let him cross under it. Sanghyuk bent down, shoving his phone back in his pocket as he walked into the property, escorted by the cop. This was a simple home building site, smaller than most of the others. With the cop lights and people everywhere, however, it seemed even smaller than it was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk spotted the two lawyers easily, having recognized them from pictures Youngkyun had shown him. He approached them with the most professional smile he could manage, but when the lawyers turned around to face him, their expressions held only worry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong…?” Sanghyuk asked, walking up to the two of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Youngkyun always answers his phone,” one of them told him, pulling his lips back in worry. “Hi, I’m Kim Seokwoo.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lee Sanghyuk,” he introduced himself, shaking Juho’s hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Baek Juho,” the other one introduced, just as worried as he shook Sanghyuk’s hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you a witness?” Juho asked, turning to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, actually, I’m here on behalf of Kyun and Tae because they’re not… why aren’t they answering their phones?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, completely forgetting why he was really here. “They should be answering their phones.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m worried. I have a really bad feeling,” Seokwoo confessed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “They should be picking up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt a small pit in his stomach at those words. They were right. At least one of them should have picked up by now from the numerous calls several people had left them, but their phones just kept ringing out. Especially with what was going on, they should have been answering their calls. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s the body?” Sanghyuk asked suddenly, turning to the two lawyers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“With the police being bagged right now. You can take a look if you really want to,” Juho told him, licking his lips. “I wouldn’t want to. It’s not pretty.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk walked away from the two of them carefully, approaching the spot on the property where several cops stood around, taking care of the scene and the body. Sanghyuk called out to them as he jogged up to the police. He pulled out his phone to flash the pass at them, nodding his chin at the body. “Let me see.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure? It’s nasty,” one of the cops asked, but Sanghyuk just placed his hands on his hips, nodding.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Show me,” he demanded, holding his breath. They unzipped the white bag carefully, exposing the face of the body. Though it was mangled almost beyond recognition and horribly decayed, Sanghyuk could still recognize the face. He felt his heart drop to his stomach as his fingers curled tighter around his hips. His breath got stuck in his lungs as every hair on the back of his neck stood up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Heungsoo.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt himself stumbling back before he could stop himself, turning on his heel as quickly as he could and sprinting off of the property. The heels of his shoes dug into the ground as he ran, almost crashing into several different people as he struggled to avoid them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee pulled up outside of the property just as Sanghyuk made it to the entrance. His eyes went wide as Sanghyuk ran to him, grabbing onto his shoulders tightly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Something’s wrong,” Sanghyuk told him in nothing more than a puff of air. “We need to go get Kyun and Tae.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean something’s wrong?!” Chanhee asked, moving to hold him steady as Sanghyuk struggled to stand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Neither of them are answering their phones, Jaeyoon showed up out of nowhere, and they just found Heungsoo. Something’s wrong. They should be answering. We need to… I need to make sure they’re okay.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Get in,” Chanhee told him quickly, opening his door and sticking the keys back in the ignition. The second Sanghyuk’s door was shut, Chanhee was racing down the roads as fast as he could. Sanghyuk didn’t even put his seatbelt on, pulling out his phone to call Youngkyun again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Heungsoo… they found </span>
  <em>
    <span>Heungsoo</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Chanhee asked, clearly still trying to wrap his mind around it. “He went missing… what, September 13th?! It’s been over a month!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But it fits Taeyang’s pattern,” Sanghyuk pointed out, pulling his phone away from his ear with a grunt of anger as he moved to call Taeyang’s number instead. “He lived in this area as far as I know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think more people are missing than we know about,” Chanhee confessed, biting his lip as he said it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think so, too,” Sanghyuk agreed, his fingers curling so tightly around his phone that his knuckles turned white as he begged for one of them to pick up the phone. They just had to pick up. He just had to know they were okay. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee was pulling down Youngkyun and Taeyang’s street within a few minutes, but Sanghyuk felt his arms freeze by his side as his eyes locked on the cloud of rising smoke from the distance. Chanhee sped up the car as soon as he saw it, slamming on the brakes two houses down, but not before Sanghyuk already had the door open, flinging himself out of the car. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He felt his legs becoming weak as he watched the house he knew so well completely lit up in flames. He saw people standing around outside, but not a single fire truck or police car with flashing lights on the side of the roads. No Youngkyun. No Taeyang.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re still in there,” Sanghyuk mumbled to himself, pushing himself up to his feet as fast as he could, sprinting to the house with no hesitation. He pushed harshly past the people blocking his way, shedding off his jacket and leaving it on the ground behind him. Fire poured from the windows on the top floor, where their bedroom was. Sanghyuk had to hope that wasn’t where they were.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He cracked his knuckles as he took a deep breath, running quickly towards the house and kicking the door open. It busted open with a cloud of smoke and sparks. The heat intensified to almost unbearable as flames around him crackled and burned. He hugged his arms around himself, looking around quickly for any sign of the boys. Something cracked above him and Sanghyuk had just enough time to move out of the way before part of the ceiling above him crashed to the ground, breaking to pieces with a loud bang and a whole new line of fire blocking the door. Sanghyuk chose not to focus on that, stepping away from it and stumbling around the house. He tried to keep his feet moving around the flames, bringing the neck of his shirt up to cover his mouth as he started to feel himself inhaling the smoke. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“YOUNGKYUN!” he found himself calling out, crying out as he called for his friend. “TAEYANG!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He made his way into the kitchen quickly, looking around himself at the floor, but it was almost unrecognizable as fire spread around his feet, rubble covering the counters and the cabinets falling apart from the heat and pressure of the collapsing ceiling. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“YOUNGKYUN! TAEYANG!” he cried out, coughing into his shirt as he ran over to the living room. He heard the ceiling falling above him before he saw it, quickly diving out of the way. His right shoulder smashed into the floor just as another part of the ceiling crashed to the ground. Sparks flew around him with a new puff of smoke, flames spreading in every direction, ready to completely consume him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The floor felt hot under him, almost like it would burn his arm if he stayed there any longer. He pushed himself up, seeing nothing but smoke and the glowing orange haze of flames around him. Everything burned around him, and he couldn’t see anything beyond the burning furniture and walls. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He stumbled behind himself. “The offices,” he mumbled, tripping as his feet hooked over a fallen board. His body smashed into the ground with a burst of pain, and he only had seconds to look above him when he saw the flames rushing toward him. He covered his head quickly, bracing himself as he turned his body to hide himself into the floor as rubble smashed into his back. The heat was unbearable and he lurched away from the spot on the floor, screaming in pain as he ripped his shirt off. He threw the fabric, on fire as he tore it off, to the ground, abandoning it easily. He didn’t waste a second before running towards the hallway, jumping over a fallen part of the ceiling and broken area of the floor as he coughed smoke from his lungs. He kicked the door to Youngkyun’s office open, but the room looked empty, and if it wasn’t, Sanghyuk wouldn’t be able to get any further in. The whole room was engulfed in fire, too buried in flames to see any further inside it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He turned around quickly, lifting his foot and kicking the door of Taeyang’s study open. The room wasn’t engulfed in fire yet but it was completely filled with smoke, so much so that the opening of the door sent a cloud of it rushing out into the hallway, but it wasn’t covered in fire. Sanghyuk pushed himself into the room quickly, coughing the second he walked through the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There, on the floor, laid both Youngkyun and Taeyang, unconscious. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved over to the back of the office quickly, pushing the window open and smashing the screen out of the window. “I need help!” he screamed out the window, his voice hoarse and scratchy. “At the back of the house! Please!” he called out, running quickly back over to the boys. He pressed his fingers against Youngkyun’s neck first, sighing in relief when he felt his pulse. He almost collapsed over himself as he moved over to Taeyang, coughing away the smoke that filled his lungs as he pressed his hand to Taeyang’s neck. Both of them were still alive. It was okay. They were okay. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk knew Youngkyun would kill him if he saved him first, so without hesitation, he grabbed Taeyang’s wrists, dragging him across the floor to the window. Nobody waited for him at the window, but Sanghyuk didn’t have any time to focus on that. He coughed again, hacking terribly as he hooked his arms under Taeyang’s, pulling him up with a small struggle and pushing him through the window. He made sure to lower him outside of the house legs first, barely able to keep a grip on his arms as he did. He coughed again as he dropped him, wincing as Taeyang’s limp body fell to the grass outside the house. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ran over quickly to Youngkyun next, but he didn’t get the chance to grab his arms before the ceiling was breaking above them. Sanghyuk was hunched over Youngkyun before he could call out for help again, his arms bracing around Youngkyun’s head as he covered as much of him as he could with his body. The rough ceiling crashed against Sanghyuk’s bare back, the heat from the fire scolding his skin as the fire engulfed the room around him. Sparks flew everywhere, flaming materials drifting to the ground around them and burning everything in site. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck. Ow,” Sanghyuk cried, his eyes welling with tears from the pain as he rolled off of Youngkyun, barely having the arm strength to keep himself up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he cursed, trying to hold back his tears, but he could feel his back burning and he could feel the blood trickling down his side. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He moved his hands carefully, grabbing Youngkyun’s arms and dragging him over to the window. Anything in his way he kicked to the side, eventually having to kick his right shoe off after it caught on fire. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled Youngkyun up with a cry of pain, pushing him through the window and lowering him to the ground on top of Taeyang. And just as the rest of the ceiling above him collapsed, Sanghyuk pushed himself through the window, jumping out and landing on the grass behind the two boys with a grunt of pain. He couldn’t hold himself up, rolling onto the ground and screaming out in pain when his back met the grass. He barely had time to breath as he turned over, watching flames pour out of the window above Taeyang and Youngkyun. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled his weak body over to them, cursing as he pulled Youngkyun off of Taeyang, dragging him further back as a fire man approached, grabbing Youngkyun for him. The relief of Youngkyun’s weight caused him to fall backwards, yelling out in pain as he rolled onto his stomach. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!” a voice screamed at him, and he wished he could smile at Chanhee’s voice, but honestly all he felt was pain right now. He hissed in pain, wrapping his arms around himself and closing his eyes as he finally started realizing the pounding behind his eyes. “I need help! He needs help, please!” Chanhee called out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is… is Taeyang and Kyun okay?” Sanghyuk mumbled, pressing his head into the ground as if it would make everything that hurt just go away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The firemen have them. They’ll be okay. You saved them you fucking idiot,” Chanhee cursed at him, grabbing onto his hand and sighing shakily in relief. “You fucking saved them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The good news is that your back wasn’t burned for the most part. Just small burns that’ll heal in a few days,” Chanhee told him with a smile, patting his hand on the hospital bed. “It’s mostly just scarring from wood and splinters that got in your back when the ceiling fell. It’s all out now, though, so you should be fine in a few days. Sadly, you’re stuck here until then.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. I love hospitals,” Sanghyuk replied, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be such a baby,” Taeyang coughed out, smiling at him from the couch in the corner of the room. Youngkyun was laying down in his lap, slowly drifting off to sleep as Taeyang ran his fingers through his hair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I should have just let you two burn then, huh?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow toward him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Says the one that jumped out of a moving car just to run into a burning building without even fucking thinking!” Chanhee scolded him, smacking him on the back of the head with a pout.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow,” Sanghyuk mumbled towards him, lifting his hand to rub at the spot Chanhee had smacked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll kill Dawon,” Taeyang mumbled, looking down to Youngkyun in his lap. “He tried to kill Kyun and I, and you could have gotten hurt, too,” Taeyang told him, lifting his eyes to Sanghyuk’s again. The comment burned worse than any scars on Sanghyuk’s body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dawon doesn’t kill,” was all Sanghyuk could manage with his hoarse voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well he almost did. He would have, if it wasn’t for you,” Taeyang mumbled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But it wasn’t Dawon. Dawon hadn’t done it. Someone else had done it and left his symbol behind in the grass behind the house. They tried to kill his best friends and blamed it on him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried not to let his eyes water as he sighed, rolling onto his side and turning away from Taeyang to avoid him seeing him if he did indeed start crying against his will. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think Dawon did it,” Chanhee spoke up, patting Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “Sanghyuk’s right. Dawon doesn’t kill.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Wonhyo bridge? He almost killed then, too,” Taeyang pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if a copycat is running around?” Chanhee suggested, curling his fingers around Sanghyuk’s shoulder in comfort. “Maybe Dawon hasn’t really made an appearance since he kidnapped that girl. With bodies disappearing and someone committing crimes in his name, maybe he has a lot to figure out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a stretch,” Taeyang mumbled, clearly not believing it. “I’m just… I’m angry. I want to hit him. He came into our house and drugged our drinks so when we poured ourselves glasses we had no idea. And when we passed out in my office he lit our house on fire and burned everything we owned… like a coward.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his tongue as Taeyang talked. He understood. And although everything in him wanted to scream at Taeyang that it wasn’t Dawon who had done it, Sanghyuk was making a promise to himself now. Whoever had done that would pay for it. Whoever had almost taken his family from him would learn to never do anything like that again. They would understand. Sanghyuk would make them understand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Babe. We need to take care of the Heungsoo thing,” Youngkyun mumbled, tapping Taeyang’s leg. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can’t they just give us a break?” Taeyang whined, leaning back against the couch. “We almost just died.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but we didn’t,” Youngkyun mumbled with a sleepy pout. “So we need to take care of it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t need to do anything,” Taeyang told him with a sigh, patting Youngkyun on the head one last time before lowering Youngkyun’s head to a pillow on the couch as he got up. “Stay here and rest. I’ll go handle it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’re okay to do that?” Chanhee asked, turning to look at Taeyang. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just smoke filled lungs. I’m not burnt. They’ll let me leave if I ask nicely,” he said with confidence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Youngkyun mumbled tiredly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Taeyang told him with a smile, leaning down to kiss his head. “I love you too,” he added before nodding to Chanhee and Sanghyuk, making his way out of the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a pause of silence as the door closed behind Taeyang before anyone even dared to breathe. “I know it wasn’t you,” Youngkyun finally mumbled, pushing himself up to a sitting position. “Don’t worry, Hyuk, we’ll catch that bastard and show him how Dawon deals with people who go after his family.” Youngkyun smiled at Sanghyuk as he stood up, just as Chanhee helped Sanghyuk into a sitting position. “Taeyang has to take care of the Heungsoo case, and after that we’ll look into a new place to live. Until then, though, we have work to do, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you act tired just so Taeyang would go instead of you?” Chanhee asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well we can’t look into Dawon’s gangs with him in the room, now, can we?” Youngkyun asked, making his point clear as he grabbed the notebook on the side of the table. He drew the wall from Sanghyuk’s home out of memory, connecting everything on the wall exactly as it was connected in real life. “So let’s add Heungsoo. Finally found after over a month.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“More people have to be missing,” Chanhee suggested, pulling a chair over from the corner of the room and taking a seat by the hospital bed. “We found five bodies, but to be honest, there is too much space in between,” he continued to explain. “We found Intak on September 20th, right? Well, after that, it took until October 7th for us to find Youngjae and Minsung. That’s a sixteen day gap. And then another fourteen days after that before we found Heungsoo. There’s just too much space. Because Heungsoo had been there for a long time, but Intak was found the day after he went missing. There’s too much room. There’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> more people missing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chanhee, can you get on the incognito server with my boys and turn off the IP address?” Sanghyuk asked, turning his head lazily towards him. He really didn’t want to do this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I got you covered,” Chanhee told him with a smile, beckoning for Youngkyun to bring over the laptop he had brought from home before coming to visit. It only took him a few minutes to open the server the way Sanghyuk wanted before he handed the computer to him. “Youngkyun, do you want to look into employees you have on vacation or leave? We have to check them all just in case, since both Minjun and Youngjae were your employees.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled before typing into the server. It was a special chat zone Chanhee had programmed himself in high school for Sanghyuk to use. It was his birthday gift, actually. This website allowed Sanghyuk to communicate with his gangs and the members of his gangs in one place without speaking or showing himself. Only he had access to his account, so there could never be anyone pretending to be him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: You guys have gotten a bit lazy, don’t you think?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: It’s been weeks since I’ve asked for updates on MIA members and I haven’t received a single message.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: If you have nothing to report now I’ll just assume you all ignored me.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Within minutes Sanghyuk had received over a dozen messages of apologies and files for him to look over of transactions that were a bit sketchy. There were accusations against other members and reports of people who had gone missing for a day and returned. A few members had disappeared and hadn’t returned, and a few had gone on leave from the activity. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: From now on I hear about this shit as soon as it happens. Don’t disappoint me like this again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: Is everyone doing well? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: Heungsoo’s funeral will be starting tomorrow for those who would like to visit. You aren’t expected to, but you are welcome. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to look into these eleven people,” Sanghyuk finally compiled, handing Chanhee a piece of paper with names written down on them. Each one was a gang member who had gone missing and hadn’t shown back up. Sanghyuk had looked through every report by this point, narrowing the list down to the ones who were really missing. Youngkyun hadn’t found anything through Xang, so the three of them focused their energy on looking into the eleven names instead. Eleven names turned into seven. Seven names turned into five. And five names turned into three. Three people were really missing, unseen by family or friends and no record left behind after a certain period. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahn Wooseok, missing since… oh god- September 25th,” Chanhee announced, cringing at the date as Youngkyun nodded, writing the name down and connecting him to Dawon on his visualized map drawn in pen ink. “Then Kim Soohyun. We don’t have the exact date for him. He left for his assignment on October 12th, but he was seen on October 13th.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So he could have gone missing later, or someone could have misidentified him,” Youngkyun clarified. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Chanhee confirmed. “The last one is Seo Hyungi, missing since October 19th. Just… just three days ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So people </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> go missing in between the gaps,” Sanghyuk mumbled to himself, staring down at his hands in his lap. “But there’s still no pattern. Soohyun left on an assignment, Wooseok took leave to go see his family and never made it there, and everyone just hated Hyungi because he was a dick. There’s no similarities in their ranks and no connection between their work. This is ridiculous.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There has to be something…” Youngkyun mumbled, frowning at the map in front of him. “We’re missing something. We have to be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If we are… then I think we’re missing the piece of the puzzle to find it,” Sanghyuk replied with a pout. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think the person killing these people is the same person impersonating Dawon?” Chanhee asked, sending the room into a thick silence. The clock ticked on the wall as Chanhee waited for a response that never came. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Youngkyun finally answered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Sanghyuk decided immediately after. “If this asshole knows you’re connected with Dawon, that’s why he or she is dropping bodies at your sites. It doesn’t make sense to kill you guys when they’re clearly not done yet. It’s not logical.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why would someone try to kill them?” Chanhee asked, tilting his head at Sanghyuk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy,” he answered, turning to face the both of them. “Because I haven’t done anything to hurt them.” Youngkyun and Chanhee both raised an eyebrow at him, causing him to sigh. “The real Dawon has never done anything to Xang or the CEOs, despite their relationship to Jaeyoon. It makes sense to go for them because they’re believable targets. Go big or go home, I guess, in some fucked up way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned to his computer, situating it on his lap.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: If anyone tried anything against Xang or the CEOs of the company, I want to know about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>DAWON: Dawon doesn’t kill.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, he closed his laptop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[December 5, 2015] [4 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 20, Chanhee is 16]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk… are you sure about this?” Chanhee asked, his hands shaking just a tiny bit. “I think this is a bad idea.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure,” Sanghyuk confirmed, nodding his head. “We need to do this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee licked his lips, nodding as the wind blew around them. From the rooftop here, they could see almost anything. The whole city seemed to kneel at their feet from where they stood.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know we need to do this,” Chanhee told him, kneeling by his computer as he plugged another cable into it. “I just… I think there might be a few other ways we can do this that don’t involve… you know… possibly risking your entire secret identity.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I risk anything less nobody will believe me,” Sanghyuk pointed out, and it seemed like Chanhee had nothing to retort to that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Some people won’t believe you anyways,” Chanhee reminded him, moving over to the sheet hanging behind him and straightening it out a bit before making his way back over to the camera, which stood on a tripod beside his computer. Behind his computer he had a small homemade tower, which Chanhee swore would block all broadcasting stations, considering he hacked into the… yeah. Programming was Chanhee’s thing. Sanghyuk had no idea how he did it, no matter how hard he tied to understand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But how many will?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head at Chanhee as the boy made the last few adjustments on his equipment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Hyuk. You know I’m sixteen now, right?” Chanhee asked. Sanghyuk furrowed his brows, waiting for him to continue. “Well, you were sixteen when you first met Jaeyoon. And all I’m saying is… what kind of fucking drugs were you on when you made the decision to be a villain? I wouldn’t,” Chanhee mocked him with a laugh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was an idiot child and you’re a teenage prodigy, I get it,” Sanghyuk said with a roll of his eyes, despite how truly proud of Chanhee he was. It was incredible what he could do with a computer at the age of sixteen; half of the stuff he could do, Sanghyuk couldn’t even imagine. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready?” Chanhee asked, adjusting the base of the tripod.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah… my mask-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have it here,” Chanhee told him, reaching beside his computer and tossing the white and black mask to him. Sanghyuk caught it easily with a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure they’ll be able to hear my voice clearly through the mask?” Sanghyuk asked, pulling the rubber band back on it and sliding it over his head. He positioned the mask comfortably on his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s why I have microphones set up,” Chanhee told him without even looking up. “And straighten the wrinkles in your shirt.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You weren’t even looking,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a pout, flattening out the wrinkles that were definitely there. He was wearing a black turtleneck and black skinny jeans now, topped with black platform combat boots. His hair was gelled back with a simple white streak across the front, and his mask was fitted perfectly on his face. “God I feel stupid.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why? Because you’re standing in front of a camera?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I’m about to speak to the world on a </span>
  <em>
    <span>live</span>
  </em>
  <span> broadcast for the first time. Dawon has never spoken to anyone but Jaeyoon before besides that one video we did to end the rape accusations. What if I mess it up?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And now you’re doubting yourself,” Chanhee pointed out, walking over to him to check over his appearance. Chanhee was acting like this was a movie he was directing, as if Sanghyuk was just the star. In all honesty, though, that’s how it was. “Stop it,” he demanded, grabbing onto the sleeve of Sanghyuk’s shirt and straightening it out to his liking. “I don’t like your stupid plan, but don’t doubt it because you think you’ll look stupid. If anything, doubt it because it’s a dumb fucking plan.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I like my plan,” Sanghyuk mumbled with an over-dramatic pout. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then stop pretending you don’t,” he replied, patting Sanghyuk’s shoulder before walking back over to the camera. “Remember, this is going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>live.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Don’t laugh or do anything you normally do. Embody Dawon the way you do when you have an audience, even though you can’t see them. The whole district will be watching.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that’s comforting,” Sanghyuk mumbled, shaking out his nerves as he bounced from foot to foot. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d give you a script but you wouldn’t follow it,” Chanhee told him with a blank expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I prefer to adlib,” Sanghyuk retorted with a smug look Chanhee wouldn’t be able to see through his mask as he rolled his neck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh do you?” Chanhee asked, tapping away on his computer. “I wasn’t aware Dawon was such a comedian.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m hilarious!” Sanghyuk defended, gesturing his chin up at the boy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Go into Dawon mode before I start this so I know you won’t fuck it up,” Chanhee told him, pressing another key on his computer. Dawon mode. It felt so much harder since it was just Chanhee with him, but he knew it wouldn’t be just Chanhee in a few minutes. In a few minutes, the whole district would be watching him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook out the last of his nerves before forcing his body to stand perfectly still. He dropped any smile on his face in return for a blank expression as he held his chin up at Chanhee. He stood still like that, just breathing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re tense,” Chanhee commented, to which Sanghyuk relaxed his shoulders a bit more. “Did you have to wear that shirt? You’re all shoulders. I think your shoulders have their own personality in that shirt,” Chanhee commented with a snort, looking at the camera again before looking back to Sanghyuk. He took another breath, refusing to react to the statement. “Good,” Chanhee commented, nodding at Sanghyuk’s restraint to his humor. “By the way, I was kidding. You look like a beefy intimidating big boy in that shirt.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s lips twitched into a small smile behind the mask, but he hoped it didn’t show. Chanhee didn’t seem to notice, sighing in relief before nodding at Sanghyuk. “Double good. I’m kidding. You look good,” he finally complemented, moving back over to his camera. “Look here,” he instructed, pointing to the lens on the camera. “Not at me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shifted his whole head to look straight at the camera, just as Chanhee told him to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready?” Chanhee asked, hand hovering over the keyboard as he looked back up to Sanghyuk. “This isn’t a test. You can answer me now. Are you ready?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m ready,” Sanghyuk breathed out, nodding to himself as he tried not to let his nerves surface</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then we’re live in three… two.. It’s all you,” Chanhee told him, holding his hands straight in the air and bringing it down like he was cutting something. The second his hand stopped moving, Sanghyuk felt numb. In that moment, he was completely embodied by Dawon. He couldn’t be Sanghyuk. He was all Dawon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you know who I am?” he asked calmly to the camera, his shoulders easily slouching as he adjusted himself to fit Dawon. His head slowly tilted to the side as his hands found their way into his pockets. Chanhee held his thumb up, and Sanghyuk’s eyes flickered to it for only a second before returning to the camera. “I think you do,” he said, taking a small step toward the camera. Chanhee moved over to the camera carefully, checking Sanghyuk’s positioning on the screen, before holding his hand up flat. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But do you know my voice?” he found himself asking, tilting his head to the other side. “That must be new to you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>From the corner of his vision, Chanhee held his hand up, cutting it down and then rolling it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop wasting time. Move it along.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk froze in his place, staring into the camera. He wanted to build it up, make the people wait for what he had to say. He wanted, at any point, to be able to tell them he knew they were waiting. They wanted to hear what he had to say next. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think I killed that family?” Sanghyuk asked suddenly, moving his head to look away from the camera before returning his attention to it. “I’m offended,” he added with a scoff. “Because when have I ever given you the impression that I would kill someone?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee gave him a thumbs up again as he shifted between the camera and the computer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“To the Jung family, I’m so sorry for what has happened to you,” he spoke genuinely, tilting his head down in respect before lifting it again. “I will see to it myself that the killer is apprehended since our society and government are so incapable.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chanhee lifted his hand behind the camera, forming his hand into a fist and jerking it once. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Powerful. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Then he flattened out his hand, holding it steady. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now mellow out.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not a coward,” Sanghyuk explained, following Chanhee’s advice of mellowing out to appeal to the people, rather than scaring them for once. “If I do something bad I’ll leave my symbol behind and own up to it. From now on, don’t assume every crime is mine just because I’m a public face. Dawon doesn’t kill.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Without another word, Sanghyuk walked off the screen. Chanhee cut the feed quickly, and the second the camera was off, it was a race to get everything packed up and gone before they could be tracked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t take more than a week for Sanghyuk to find the real killer behind the Jung family’s murders. He left him chained to a tree in the park with seven padlocks with a note that said who he was and a warning not to unchain him. He delivered the key to the police after two days of letting that man starve, suffer the cold, and be cursed at by every passing person that came to see him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sanghyuk considered that one of the few good things he did as Dawon.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. That One Thing is a Mistake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>mentions of self harm in this chapter, be warned!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“This house is nice,” Taeyang told Youngkyun, handing him the iPad to see it. “It’s close, too. Close to the original area, and it seems comfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t a bit showy, though?” Youngkyun asked, lifting an eyebrow at Taeyang before handing the iPad back to him. “Tae,” he began, shifting in the chair to see Taeyang better, who sat comfortably on the edge of the bed within reaching distance. “We should buy a more comfortable house this time. Let’s buy one for us, not for other people. It doesn't have to be big and fancy. Let’s just live comfortably.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang smiled, tilting his head as he looked down at the iPad with a fond smile. “You never did like that old house, did you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun gave Taeyang a small smile, but he didn’t answer right away. “I liked it,” Youngkyun decided after a while, settling further into the chair.. “But it just felt like a house. I want a home,” he told him, smiling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want a home?” Taeyang asked, handing him the iPad. “Then we’ll get a home instead. Fuck everyone else.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled with his teeth as he grabbed the iPad from Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is so hard,” Youngkyun mumbled, pouting at the screen. The dim lighting of the hotel room made him feel sleepy, and looking at houses wasn’t exactly stimulating when he had to remember everything he owned before that was gone and burnt up. If Youngkyun was any more materialistic, it would even be depressing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… when do you think it’ll end?” Taeyang suddenly asked. Youngkyun raised an eyebrow as he looked to his husband, silently asking him what he meant by ‘it’. “Everything,” Taeyang clarified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was a lot to wait on. There was so much going on right now that Youngkyun was waiting to end. When were the bodies going to stop showing them up and causing them trouble? When were people finally going to decide that Jaeyoon and Dawon weren’t worth the attention? When… when was Sanghyuk finally going to give up Dawon?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When all of that was over… then it would have ended. But that was a lot to wait on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it will,” Youngkyun finally answered, putting the iPad down and shutting it off for the moment. He walked over to Taeyang carefully, cupping his face in his hands and pressing their foreheads together. “But that’s just life, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re my life,” Taeyang told him, reaching up to place his hands over Youngkyun’s. He sighed with a small smile on his lips as he leaned into Youngkyun’s embrace. “You always have been.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s pretty fucking cheesy, Tae,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, gently rubbing his thumb over Taeyang’s cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean it,” Taeyang told him sternly. “Ever since I met you. You remember how many times you saved me right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could Youngkyun forget? The endless nights stowed away in Taeyang’s aunt’s house, hidden away to keep an eye on the boy. The panic attacks and the scars across the wrists. Holding his boyfriend in his arms until he cried himself to sleep. Assuring him no matter what that everything would be okay even when he didn’t know himself how everything would turn out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could I forget?” Youngkyun asked, licking his lips as he remembered ripping the razor from Taeyang’s hands and throwing it across the room in a fit of screams. He remembered how dark those times had been in between everything. For Taeyang, it hadn’t been a good in between. He remembered the blood on his uniform, the dark circles under his eyes, and the fake smile he would put on his face when another kid made fun of him or pushed him away. When he took scissors to his hair in an attempt to control </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his life and when he fell asleep in Youngkyun’s arms with a bandage wrapped around his hand from beating his hand against the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From just remembering those times, Youngkyun felt like he had to hold Taeyang even closer to him, making sure he could never escape.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really are my life,” Taeyang told him, moving his thumb over Youngkyun’s knuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You say that as if you’re not mine,” Youngkyun commented with a bittersweet smile. “I think I’d be completely lost without you. I mean can you imagine? I’d end up like Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so lucky you have me, then,” Taeyang told him with a snort, pulling away from his forehead to fall back on the bed with a smile. Youngkyun smiled at him, sitting down on the edge of the bed instead of sprawling out across the sheets like Taeyang did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really am,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself, watching his man smile at the ceiling. As Youngkyun spoke, Taeyang shifted his eyes to smile at Youngkyun. Youngkyun couldn’t help but smile in return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… I had… a question,” Taeyang suddenly said, the smile almost dropping from his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you can ask me anything,” Youngkyun told him, grabbing onto his hand and folding his fingers in the palm of his hand. But Taeyang didn’t seem to want to say whatever he had on his mind. He held himself back from asking it right away. “Tae. Anything,” Youngkyun promised. “You can ask me anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to adopt?” Taeyang blurted out, turning his head away from Youngkyun as his cheeks and ears glowed red. Youngkyun felt himself freeze at Taeyang’s question, his cheeks heating up in a similar manner. “I mean… after everything calms down. If you want to… we could… I don’t know… I just…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Youngkyun mumbled, grabbing Taeyang’s hand harder and reaching over with his other hand to place his fingers under Taeyang’s chin, pushing his head to face him. “Yes,” he repeated with a full smile he couldn’t contain. For some reason, he felt tears building up in his eyes at the thought of adopting with Taeyang. He didn’t think Taeyang wanted to adopt, but it had been something he wanted since he was little. He had never brought it up, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you really want to?” Taeyang asked, eyes going wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I want to,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh, leaning down and pressing his lips to Taeyang’s before collapsing on top of him, wrapping his arms around him. “Oh my god, yes!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang laughed into him before returning the hug, pulling Youngkyun close to him. “You seriously mean it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes Taeyang! I want to adopt with you! I want to be a parent with you!” Youngkyun assured him, laughing as he buried his head into Taeyang’s neck. “When this is all over… when it all calms down… I want to adopt with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s keep it a secret for now,” Taeyang decided, pulling away from Youngkyun to see his face. “Just in case it doesn’t calm down for a while. Let’s wait.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re asking me to keep a pretty big secret,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh. “I want to tell everyone right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare spoil it!” Taeyang threatened him. “We’re telling everyone together!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then things better calm down quickly,” Youngkyun told him, cupping his face with his hand and kissing him once more. “Because I seriously want to tell everyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll divorce you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to see you try,” Youngkyun challenged with a cocky smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something smaller?” Jaeyoon asked, raising an eyebrow as they walked. “Actually, that makes sense. It’d suit you both a lot better.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was Youngkyun’s idea, but I like the idea of having a smaller house, too,” Taeyang confessed, shrugging as they walked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does this mean you guys are throwing a house party?” Seokwoo asked, leaning around Jaeyoon to insert himself in the conversation. “Can I come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean do we really have a choice?” Youngkyun asked with a giggle, looking over to Taeyang. He turned back to Seokwoo. “You and Juho are both invited, obviously. But don’t go spreading rumors like you did last time!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was a fun party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not for us!” Taeyang called at him, exasperated as he shook his head at the childish lawyer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, though, screw the house. I’m glad you two are okay,” Jaeyoon told them, moving in between them to throw his arms over both of their shoulders. “I lost it when I heard the news. I thought you two had really died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, we’re okay,” Taeyang told him with a gummy smile, turning to show it to Jaeyoon. “The house and everything in it isn’t important. We’re okay and that’s the most important thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn straight,” Jaeyoon told him, patting both of their shoulders as he walked with them. “It’s a good thing you have a friend like Sanghyuk, though,” Jaeyoon told them, pulling his arms away so he wasn’t dragging them anymore as they walked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… know Sanghyuk?” Youngkyun asked with wide eyes, trying to cover any hint of nervousness as he turned to face Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy shrugged with a small pout on his lips. “I’ve heard </span>
  <em>
    <span>of</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. He’s the one that works with Inseong at the cafe, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… that’s him,” Youngkyun told him, smiling in an attempt to cover his concern with fondness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to go visit him at the hospital to thank him for saving you two, but Inseong told me he would deliver the flowers instead. I forgot that years ago… a boy got framed for being Dawon. Inseong reminded me that it was him, which I still think is </span>
  <em>
    <span>crazy</span>
  </em>
  <span> all things considered. But Inseong told me it might stress Sanghyuk out if I visited, so I gave him the flowers to give to Sanghyuk instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll bring you to visit him at some point,” Taeyang promised, and Youngkyun had to remind himself he couldn’t exactly glare at the boy and tell him Sanghyuk would rather meet anyone else in the world but Jaeyoon. However, Youngkyun’s mind felt a bit hung up on the part where Inseong convinced Jaeyoon not to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon… was abusive towards him, wasn’t he? Or were Youngkyun and Sanghyuk wrong in some way? It felt weird to think of Inseong standing up to Jaeyoon just to prevent him from seeing Sanghyuk. Was it possible Inseong knew? Why else would he stop Jaeyoon from going so avidly? It felt unreal to think of Inseong trying so hard to keep Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk from meeting, considering he had no reason to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope so,” Jaeyoon told Taeyang with a smile. “I want to meet the guy that saved your lives. I need to thank him.” Jaeyoon’s gratitude seemed so genuine, and Youngkyun was left to wonder what would happen if Jaeyoon recognized his voice and found out who he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh wait… Sanghyuk, I know where I’ve heard that name from before!” Seokwoo announced, jumping as his memory clicked into place. “He went to the Gahoe-Dong site when you guys weren’t answering your phones to handle things, but as soon as he saw Heungsoo he ran out of there to go look for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They let him in?” Jaeyoon asked, turning to Taeyang and Youngkyun with a raised eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned to Taeyang with a sigh. “I never got the pass back from him,” he mumbled, bringing his hand up to his forehead to rub at it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least he isn’t misusing it,” Taeyang told him with a cheeky grin, swinging his arm around Youngkyun’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well if it isn’t the miracle boys and their angel. And Seokwoo,” Daniel commented, leaving Seokwoo standing with his mouth agape in offense. He walked towards them from the gates of the Xang site as the group of them approached it, smiles all around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>And Seokwoo</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” the boy asked in an offended tone of voice while Daniel just placed his hands on his hips, laughing at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good to see you again, Daniel,” Jaeyoon offered, bowing to the manager.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too, Mr. Hero,” Daniel greeted with a smile, turning to Youngkyun and Taeyang. “Are you boys still in good shape? Should you even be working right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re fine,” Taeyang assured him with a bright smile. “We came to check out the property site. We haven’t been able to since Heungsoo was found.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit is there a meeting I forgot about?!” Daniel asked, eyes going wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled. “Don’t worry. Can we just call for a rally with the employees? I want to talk to them. Tae, Jaeyoon, you guys can work out the small details of the company with Daniel, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And exactly what am I even here for?” Seokwoo asked, raising his eyebrows at Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need you to walk around the site and check for hazards before we get reported for anything,” Youngkyun told him happily. “You know the law. Make it so we don’t get slapped in the back of the head by it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” Seokwoo replied with a cheek puffing smile, happy to finally have a significant job for himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel was able to gather the employees at the site for Youngkyun quickly, handing out water bottles and letting them all sit down for a break. It was beginning to get colder outside quickly, and yet these men were still drenched in sweat from working so hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys okay?” Youngkyun asked, sitting down with the rest of them in a big circle. He liked informal meetings like this so much better than any business meetings Taeyang ever had to attend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ask us that every time there’s a new body found,” one of the workers pointed out. Youngkyun smiled, recognizing the face. “We’re okay, Kyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good to see you’re doing well, Jitae,” Youngkyun told him with a genuine smile, reaching out to shake his hand. It wasn’t some formal handshake, though. Youngkyun held onto Jitae’s hand for a moment, holding it as if he wanted to let the boy know things would get better, and that he was still there to support him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, is it true you beat up three cops when they assaulted Jitae?” one of the workers asked, leaning forward, dragging the attention of every other employee with his interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? I didn’t-” Youngkyun began, looking to Jitae accusingly only to see him wide eyed, mouthing begs and pleads to go along with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard Jitae help beat them up, too. Badass!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t really… </span>
  <em>
    <span>beat</span>
  </em>
  <span> them up,” Youngkyun tried clarifying slowly, looking to the first worker who had spoken. Well that didn’t sound very badass. “Jitae knocked one on their ass, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JITAE! YOU DIDN’T TELL US THAT!” one of the workers called out at him, looking toward him accusingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jitae looked toward Youngkyun with a thankful smile. “I didn’t want to brag!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But seriously, are you guys sure you’re okay? I mean it, like seriously now,” Youngkyun cut in, trying to be at least somewhat professional. “This is the fifth body we’ve found.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You might have a sixth,” one of the workers spoke up, leaning forward. The crowd around him went silent as all eyes turned to him. “I heard rumors that there’s a dead person at the Seongsu-Dong site by Han River.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But those are just rumors,” Jitae told him, leaning his elbows on his knees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard them too,” someone else spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, maybe it’s a joke, but a lot of people are talking about the dead Seongsu-Dong guy,” another worker spoke up, dragging his eyes down to the ground as his hands folded together in his lap. “I don’t think it’s a joke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner?” Youngkyun asked with wide eyes, looking around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Most of us think it’s a rumor,” a darker skinned worker spoke up, hanging his head down. “So we didn’t think it was important.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed himself up from his seat quickly, walking over to the employee and kneeling down in front of him with a smile. “Tell me next time,” he spoke to him before turning around to talk to all of the employees. “Everything is important to me. I promise. Call my personal number if you have to, I won’t be bothered by it, I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a short bow, Youngkyun left to run up to Taeyang and Jaeyoon. The two were off to the side of the property, talking amongst themselves when Youngkyun ran up. He placed his hand on Jaeyoon’s shoulder, sending him into a sudden shock. Taeyang snickered at his surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to go to Seongsu-Dong,” he told Taeyang, looking between him and Jaeyoon. “They said there’s a rumor there’s a body there, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait…” Taeyang spoke, his eyes going wide. “Didn’t Hyungi live near Seongsu-Dong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his body go cold. Taeyang was right. Hyungi did live near Seongsu-Dong, and he was one of the people they were sure was missing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s Hyungi?” Jaeyoon asked, looking between the two of them with a worried expression. “Is he missing? How do you know he’s missing? I haven’t heard anything from the news.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not important,” Taeyang told him, nodding towards Youngkyun. It was Sanghyuk’s secret. And Taeyang promised to not tell Jaeyoon about his gang involvement. “Where’s Seokwoo?” he asked, turning to Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged, moving to pull his phone out of his pocket to call him, but he didn’t get a chance. As soon as his fingers curled around the device, his ears were bombarded by the sound of a person running. Youngkyun spun around, only to see Seokwoo running towards the group of them, completely out of breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seokwoo? What’s wrong?” Jaeyoon asked, catching him and holding him by the shoulders with a worried expression, checking him over quickly before returning his full attention to his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Body,” he breathed out, shifting his eyes to Youngkyun’s. “There’s… there’s a body.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not right,” Youngkyun denied easily, fumbling back a little bit from the shock of the statement. “We found Heungsoo here six days ago. There has never been two bodies at the same site. Seokwoo are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care if it’s right or not,” Seokwoo spat at him. “If you don’t believe me, go at the back of the site and look at the rotting body that was hidden under the wood chips with his hand hanging out!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked to Taeyang quickly, and they both seemed to have the same thought. Within milliseconds of each other, they were both running around Jaeyoon towards the back of the property. Taeyang grabbed Youngkyun’s hand as they ran, pulling him slightly behind him as they found the pile of wood chips, torn apart. Sitting in the remnants of the pile was a boy no older than them, his hair dyed blonde and bruises covering his whole body. On his neck, a purple bruise from the prick of a needle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang held Youngkyun’s hand tightly, forcing him back more, but Youngkyun couldn’t take his eyes off the body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not Wooseok,” Youngkyun mumbled. “Or Soohyun. Or Hyungi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Taeyang mumbled in return, swallowing as he looked down at the body. “I know it’s not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which means he went missing, too. It… it had to be recently then, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could they not know about another missing person? How had nobody told them?! Sanghyuk had been on his server with his gangs every single day from the hospital and home, keeping in touch in every way. How had they missed another disappearance?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun reached into his pocket for his phone, pulling it out and dialing the number without even looking down at the screen. He slowly pulled it to his ear, his hand shaking a bit as he did. Just when they thought they were on top of everything, how had they missed something so big?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, what is your emergency?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My name is Kim Youngkyun, CEO of Xang,” Youngkyun spoke into the phone, feeling completely numb all over as he reported yet another body. “Please come to the Gahoe-Dong site again. There’s another body.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun hung up after that, not waiting on the line as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” he mumbled to Taeyang pulling on his sleeve a bit as he turned around and walked back over to where Jaeyoon and Seokwoo stood. Seokwoo just looked tired and nervous, but Jaeyoon looked worried. “We have to go to Seongsu-Dong,” Youngkyun mumbled, gesturing with his head for them to follow him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned to the group of employees that were now standing, watching him. “Please don’t go to the back of the property. Police will be here in a few minutes. Seokwoo will stay to handle the situation. The rest of us will go to Seongsu-Dong. When the police get here, if they permit it, please go home for the rest of the day and rest,” he told them, able to offer nothing more than a sad attempt at a smile as he made his way back over to the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once in the car, he pulled out his phone. Jaeyoon drove for them, and Taeyang rode in the back seat with him. The phone rang a few times before Chanhee picked up, but Youngkyun refused to let his thoughts wander too far. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gahoe-Dong,” Youngkyun spoke into the phone quickly, his eyes flickering to Jaeyoon in the front seat. “The signal is bad here.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t say everything outright.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “But it’s at Gahoe-Dong again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are… Youngkyun, what do you mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Who is it?” Chanhee asked, clearly waking himself up from an afternoon nap. Typical. He seemed to remember, from the lack of Youngkyun’s response, that he couldn’t say everything out loud. “If it’s Wooseok, say ‘I’m not sure yet.’ If it’s Soohyun, say ‘the police are on their way there now.’ If it’s Hyungi, say ‘we don’t know.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun stayed silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it’s someone else… say ‘everyone seems okay.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone seems okay,” Youngkyun spoke, licking his lips as he did. “We left Seokwoo back to deal with that. But we’re heading to Seongsu-Dong now. There was a rumor about another one there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hyungi</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Please look into it,” Youngkyun told him before hanging up, hoping he would be able to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> with what little Youngkyun gave him. He dropped his phone on the seat of the car, leaning his head into his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have people looking into it,” Jaeyoon whispered. “I invested in extra CCTV too… but I still can’t figure out who’s doing it. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault,” Youngkyun told him, pulling his head up to look at Jaeyoon through the rear view mirror. “You’re doing your best, just like we are. It’s not your fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive to Seongsu-Dong was excruciating with the traffic. Youngkyun and Taeyang’s phones were blowing up with calls the entire time. Youngkyun apologized to Jaeyoon many times, but each time he did, Jaeyoon assured him it didn’t bother him and it was more than fine. So while Jaeyoon drove, cursing at the heavy traffic, Youngkyun talked to the police about the body, and Taeyang tried to do what little he could to keep the reporters from getting too nosy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they had arrived at Seongsu-Dong, news had clearly already gotten out. Reporters waited for them by Seongsu-Dong, and Youngkyun wondered who it had been that let it slip at Gahoe-Dong where they would be going. Youngkyun stepped out of the car first, instantly bombarded by the flashing lights of cameras. Reporters yelled in his face and questioned him on things he had no answers to and the mere intensity of it all made Youngkyun’s ears ring. His mind felt like a thoughtless puddle, unsure what to do next or even what he could do next. Everything sounded muffled even though people were practically screaming at him. He felt… dizzy. Jaeyoon was completely swarmed with news reporters and microphones and couldn’t seem to even get a single word out, never mind move past them, and Taeyang was cornered on the other side of the vehicle, having no way to get through the crowd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, placing his foot on the tire of Jaeyoon’s car, thanking the gods it wasn’t his fanciest car that he had driven today. Slowly, he pulled himself up on top of the car, ignoring the shouts and protests of the reporters. He stood on the car as carefully as he could, feeling like his legs would stop supporting him any second now. The action dragged every single camera to him, but all he could see was stranger’s faces and empty lenses. It was a crowd of thoughtless strangers who were getting too involved. He just wanted them to move. He had work to do, and they were in his way. He just wanted everyone to disappear for a second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“EVERYBODY FUCK OFF!”</span> <span>he yelled at the top of his lungs, his throat burning from the sheer force he used to scream it. Within seconds, the only sound left was the steady shutter sounds of the cameras. Everyone had gone silent as they waited, and slowly, the flashing of the cameras died down to a dull annoyance.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun…” Taeyang mumbled from the side of the car, his voice so soft yet so loud against the crowd of silent observers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I SAID GO AWAY!” Youngkyun screamed at them, a single tear dropping down his cheek. “Can’t you see we’re busy?! Someone just died and all you care about is what we have to say about it!” he continued to scream, his throat burning as he cried out. He turned around to face each and every reporter accusingly, glaring not at their cameras, but at them. “I’ll tell you what we have to say about it! Fuck off and leave us alone so we can do our goddamn work!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun that’s enough,” Jaeyoon told him quickly, pushing roughly past a group of reporters to get to the side of the car where he reached his hand out for Youngkyun. “That’s enough. I think you made your point,” he mumbled, gesturing for Youngkyun to take his hand so he could help him down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, slowly grabbing Jaeyoon’s hand and letting him help him off the roof of the car. Taeyang pushed a reporter aside as he made his way to Youngkyun’s side, quickly grabbing his arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Kyun,” Taeyang told him, linking their fingers together to either hold him there or comfort him, Youngkyun really wasn’t sure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please move out of the way,” Jaeyoon requested, pulling both Youngkyun and Taeyang through whether the reporters moved or not. Youngkyun felt several reporters smash into him as he was pulled through the crowd, but he could barely tell from the overwhelming amount of senses clouding his brain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Taeyang told him in a low voice, stroking the back of his hand. “Remember the tips Sanghyuk gave you? Just keep breathing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just had to keep breathing. Right. All he had to do was breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll look around,” Jaeyoon promised as soon as they were within the walls of the site. Every employee had already gathered around the entrance, waiting for them. “Stay with Youngkyun here. Make him sit down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t need to do anything,” Taeyang scolded him easily, pushing him to sit down against the wall blocking the reporters from seeing him. “Right now you need to sit here and calm down. Hyungi can wait, okay? You can’t. You just survived breathing in a shit ton of fire smoke, so you need to breathe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t notice he was pressed back against the wall out of breath until Taeyang lowered him to the ground, falling down with him while Jaeyoon ran over to talk to the employees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am breathing,” Youngkyun coughed out, completely unbelievable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well breathe better, then,” Taeyang told him, scooching against the wall to sit with him, ignoring the dozens of people staring at them. “Okay? It’s okay. We’re away from them now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did we… how did we miss it?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Taeyang. “I mean… we’re trying </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> hard… but every time I think we might have moved closer to an answer, it’s like someone just takes their knee to my chest. Every time I think we’re close, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, you can’t solve this on your own, it’s okay. Nobody expects you to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t just him. It was Sanghyuk and Chanhee, too. It was Taeyang and Jaeyoon and even Juho and Seokwoo. They were all looking for answers. And every time they came back with something, it was just blown away by the wind. Everything they found was useless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not all bad. We’ve made good progress,” Taeyang tried to convince him. “I mean… some murders still aren’t solved after decades. But with these ones, it’s only been two months, and already we know one of the patterns. We know who the victims are. Think about it, Kyun. We haven’t even found Hyungi here yet, but we know it’s him. We can </span>
  <em>
    <span>predict</span>
  </em>
  <span> who it’s going to be. We’ve made more progress than you realize.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet we still don’t know who the second guy at Gahoe-Dong is,” Youngkyun pointed out with a pout. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Taeyang told him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “We can’t be expected to know everything. We’ll find it all out at some point. We’re getting closer. It just takes time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And all that time it takes, more people die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just pull the answers out of thin air, Kyun,” Taeyang told him, pulling his lips into a thin line. “The answers are out there somewhere, we just don’t have that one thing that’s going to help us find them yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That one thing?” Youngkyun asked, turning to look at Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There will be that one thing,” Taeyang told him without explaining it. “Until then, we’ll just have to work hard without it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys,” Jaeyoon called out to them, huffing out air as he approached them from further back in the site. No words were needed when he approached. His eyes held a certain sadness to them, his posture a certain hesitance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You found him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The bigger this map gets, the more disgusted I am,” Chanhee commented with a pout of distaste, pinning Hyungi’s picture to the wall while Sanghyuk wrapped a spool of red thread around it. He connected the red thread to Dawon, and the more thread he connected there, the more he was beginning to think he would need another place to attach the thread. It was overflowing as it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Taeyang told Chanhee, handing him the picture of Han Taehyun, the poor boy they had found at Gahoe-Dong. Chanhee took it without even glancing at it, pinning it up to the wall and letting Sanghyuk connect it to Dawon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So Hyungi was found close to where he lives, and Taehyun, same thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t know about Taehyun because he had left the gang,” Chanhee informed the two boys, throwing a stack of blank papers down onto the coffee table. “He wasn’t an active member anymore, which is a bit different than the others, but not by a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There has to be some sort of connection,” Taeyang mumbled, looking across the pictures of the victims. “Seriously. Why someone who left the gang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No idea,” Chanhee replied with a sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” Taeyang began, turning to the unamused boy. “You should be more careful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me? Why?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? Because you’re in the gang just as much as they are! What if you’re next?!” Taeyang yelled at him, and all at once it was like Sanghyuk remembered Taeyang didn’t know he was Dawon. But then again, what if the killer didn’t know either? What if he really did try to go for Sanghyuk? But they couldn’t right? Sanghyuk himself had no affiliation with the gangs, only Dawon did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to see them try,” Sanghyuk challenged, falling back into his chair. “Personally, that would make finding them a lot easier. Come to think of it, should we use me as bait?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You would scream in pain if I pushed you and you fell on your back. Don’t act so high and mighty now,” Chanhee scolded him, only to get a glare and pout from the older boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is your back?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Chanhee’s just dramatic,” Sanghyuk told him quickly. “It’s healing fine. I could roll over like a dog with no problem!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do it then,” Chanhee told him, gesturing his chin from Sanghyuk to the floor. “Roll around like a dog.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re… you’re not serious are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m dead serious. Prove it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had to hold his hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing as Sanghyuk, challenged as ever, stood from his chair with a bit of hesitance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re serious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get on the floor and roll around like a dog if you’re healing so perfectly,” Chanhee told him, crossing his arms over his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This won’t hurt him, right?” Taeyang asked in a low voice, looking worriedly to Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh. don’t ruin it. It’s funny,” Youngkyun told him, hushing him before looking to Sanghyuk again. The boy was wincing at Chanhee as he lowered himself to the ground, hands bracing himself against the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I’m going to roll over now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do it, then,” Chanhee challenged, lifting up his eyebrows in expectancy. Sanghyuk looked at him from the floor, eyes wide, like he expected Chanhee to say he really didn’t have to. Chanhee did nothing, just waited with a smug smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t roll over that means Chanhee is right and-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Youngkyun could finish his sentence, Sanghyuk had more or less thrown himself onto his back, letting out a yelp of pain as he deflated, laying on the ground breathing away the pain. Chanhee sighed, reaching down to grab Sanghyuk’s hand before pulling him up into a sitting position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” he mumbled with a smile, leaving Sanghyuk to sit and pout where he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned around to look behind him as Sanghyuk shouted something at Chanhee, both oblivious to the ding that had come from Sanghyuk’s computer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” he called out quietly. Nobody but Taeyang heard him. “HEY DUMBASSES!” That turned all heads. “Your computer made a noise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both boys in the room froze. Sanghyuk looked to Chanhee before looking back to his computer, pushing himself up easily and moving to grab it. “It shouldn’t be dinging unless one of the boys is ringing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” Youngkyun asked, eyeing Taeyang. Chanhee also had the same idea. If Taeyang looked at his screen it would give just about everything away, wouldn’t it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means there’s something really important, like important enough to bother me,” Sanghyuk told him, opening the program. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang!” Youngkyun called quickly, racking his brain for something. “Help me cover the wall? I think we’re done with it for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Taeyang agreed with a nod, letting Youngkyun guide him away from Sanghyuk as they each moved to grab an end of the blanket that was sitting in a crumpled pile on the floor. They hung the corners of it up easily, making sure to cover everything, as if the blanket hanging from the wall wasn’t just as suspicious. At least it didn’t give everything away with a single glance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys. Someone else is missing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who now?” Youngkyun asked, turning around with a groan of annoyance. Of course he should have felt worse for the actual person, but just two days ago they had found two more bodies! Youngkyun was feeling more frustrated than anything right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A guy named Kim Kitaek. He left him home earlier tonight on an assignment but never showed up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where was the assignment?” Taeyang asked, taking a step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Near Sangam-Dong, where Youngjae was found.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Police are currently investigating the murder of Kim Kitaek, who was found at 5:30 in the morning by an Xang employee on site in Wonchang-Dong, Incheon. CEOs of the company showed up and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know what we did, we don’t have to hear it,” Youngkyun mumbled, grabbing the remote and shutting the TV off. It clicked to a black screen and sent the room into a silence. Taeyang sat with his hands held in his lap, looking down to the floor. Chanhee sat in his own chair, eyes still looking at the now black screen. Sanghyuk, as expected, laid upside down on the couch with his legs in the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This doesn’t make sense,” Youngkyun mumbled, bothered by it all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why this one?” Sanghyuk asked, holding his hands out in an open gesture. “Taehyun wasn’t even in the gang anymore yet he went missing. Taehyun and Heungsoo were also both found at Gahoe-Dong. If anything, Taehyun is the weird one. So why is it that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kitaek</span>
  </em>
  <span> bothers you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Wonchang-Dong is weird. It’s a weird location. It’s not even in Seoul! And Kitaek being there is </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And it just bothers me,” Youngkyun told them, grabbing a sheet of clean paper and drawing a horrendously rough outline of Seoul. “Euijuro-Dong, Ahnyeon-Dong, Gahoe-Dong, and Seongsu-Dong are all in this one big cluster, which, </span>
  <em>
    <span>by the way</span>
  </em>
  <span>, is conveniently close to where all of us live,” Youngkyun pointed out, circling a small area right above the streak he made across Seoul, which was supposed to represent Han River. “Yeonnam-Dong is here,” Youngkyun pointed out as Chanhee scooted in closer to see. Taeyang was already hovering above him as he moved his pen just a little further away to the left, making a dot on the paper. “Then Sangam-Dong is out here,” he said, traveling a bit further. “But it all follows a pattern, right? It’s somewhat close to the Han River, in Seoul, and they’re all at least decently close to each other. But… but Wonchang-Dong isn’t anywhere near Han River </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> Seoul,” he told them, moving his pen down and to the left, way past the borders of Seoul, far away from the rest of the marks on the paper to draw an X, distorted by an ink blot from the pen. “It’s weird.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is weird,” Taeyang agreed. “I mean… why would this person… let’s call him X-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why X?” Sanghyuk interrupted, finally having something to contribute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to call him then?” Taeyang asked, placing his hands on his hips with a sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to call him Ae for now. It stands for Asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Taeyang agreed without conflict, looking back down to the paper. “So Ae… why would he leave the comfort of his zone?” Taeyang asked, pointing to the grouping of sites on the map. “Clearly, he doesn’t have a problem dropping several people at the same site, and there’s still a few sites in this area he hasn’t gone to yet. There’s no logical reason for him to go all the way to Wonchang-Dong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Especially since Kitaek was never supposed to be in Wonchang-Dong. He wasn't even supposed to be in Incheon,” Chanhee offered, pulling his lips into a thin line. “Kitaek was supposed to be in Sangam-Dong, which is where Youngjae was found. He was supposed to be in Ae’s ‘zone’ and, even more, in Seoul. And even so, it doesn’t matter, because he lived near where Minsung was found and he worked near where Intak was found. So no matter what, he had no reason to be in Wonchang-Dong. No family, no business, and no friends there. It’s a water port area anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So it breaks the pattern,” Taeyang said, leaning back. That caught Sanghyuk’s attention, almost falling off of the couch as he rolled over, falling onto his knees and pushing himself over to the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean it breaks the pattern?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Were you even listening?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head at the boy with his lips parted. “Everything we just said breaks his pattern!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Define listening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang sighed, pointing to Wonchang-Dong outside of the poorly drawn map. “Kitaek wasn’t supposed to be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk agreed. “And… oh my god. The pattern was that every person was where they should have been in their normal schedule,” Sanghyuk realized, his eyes going wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Youngkyun confirmed with a nod and a dragged out voice. “Why are you so slow to catch onto this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means Ae messed up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… what do you mean he messed up? It’s weird, yeah, but how can you say-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Ae always follows his pattern,” Sanghyuk pointed out, his mind suddenly running a thousand miles a minute as he moved over to the wall of faces and red thread. “Every single one of them was found near where they regularly work or live. Ae followed them and watched them before he killed them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Obviously. So what are you getting that I’m not?” Taeyang asked, blinking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ae couldn’t have been expecting him,” Sanghyuk pointed out with a muffled scream, like he was frustrated that he was the only one that could understand his point. “Ae follows his victims over time, right?” Sanghyuk asked, moving back to the table and flattening his hands on it, leaning on them. “But Kitaek wasn’t supposed to be in Wonchang-Dong. Nobody knew he was going there. So it’s close to impossible that Ae could have known when nobody else did. Not just from watching him. He couldn’t have known.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you dumb?!” Sanghyuk yelled at him, walking back over to the wall and jabbing his finger against Kitaek’s picture. “It means Ae messed up. We can figure out how he works! If he knew where Kitaek was going, it means he met with Kitaek or met someone in his life! We can easily find out who he met with! Everyone leaves evidence behind! If he just followed him, it means he followed all of his victims and didn’t just wait for them and expect them to show up. That tells us a lot. And if he didn’t follow him, and didn’t know, it means Kitaek wasn’t his target.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait hold on a fucking second,” Youngkyun interrupted, blinking at Sanghyuk as he leaned forward. “Are you saying you think Kitaek was an accident?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no even slightly,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “I mean, he’s dead. He died with a pin prick in his neck and a beating just like all the others. I’d laugh if anyone called that an accident,” Sanghyuk told them, shrugging. “But what if Ae was following someone else? And what if Ae ran into Kitaek down there instead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a big assumption to make,” Taeyang told him, looking around the group of them. “Especially since it’s so weird to happen in Wonchang-Dong. No matter who he was going to kill, be it Kitaek or anyone else, why was he in Wonchang-Dong? Why did he leave Seoul?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a fucking fortune teller, Tae. I have no idea,” Sanghyuk spat out of annoyance. “But guess what? We know where he was last seen. The police don’t.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Not Giving Up On Dawon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“This is ridiculous!” Youngkyun called out, standing from his seat and placing his hands on his hips. “You’re insane to think you can just conduct a full blown investigation!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve done it before,” Sanghyuk stated, holding his head high as he gave a pointed look toward Youngkyun. Taeyang ignored him, turning around mid-pace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just leave it to the police!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? So they can mess it up?” Chanhee offered, looking with wide eyes towards Taeyang. “The police haven’t found shit so far! We know more than they do!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s ask Jaeyoon!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why the fuck would we do that?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow in his direction. He turned pointedly to Taeyang. “Listen, just because Jaeyoon has the title of being a hero doesn’t mean he knows how to look for evidence in a murder case he’s barely involved in. Just let Chanhee and I do it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What exactly do you two plan to do?! What would you even be looking for?” Youngkyun interrupted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you like to come and help us then?” Sanghyuk challenged, looking to Youngkyun. “I’m sure the strip club Kitaek was last seen at would love the presence of two social figures like yourselves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh so you’d rather take Chanhee to the strip club?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In my defense that sounds fantastic,” Chanhee mumbled, only to be smacked on the back of the head by Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have four options here!” Sanghyuk screamed out, silencing everyone else in the room. “And I’ll give you a hint: three of them suck. Option one, we turn the entire case over to the police and I most likely get arrested for gang activity involvement and the case remains forever unsolved and we drown in our sorrows as we realize we wasted our one chance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t trust the police. For the love of god put your pride away and realize that plan is just stupid,” Chanhee told the boy, crossing his arms in front of his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Option two, we hand the case over to Jaeyoon and he struggles to figure out what to do with himself. He has no connections to gangs or illegal activity sites which is what the case is completely centered around. The case remains forever unsolved, most likely more fucked up than before, and we drown in our sorrows </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> as we realize we wasted our one chance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good luck asking Jaeyoon to find out information when we are the ones with all the information,” Chanhee defended, this time toward Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Option three,” Sanghyuk offered. “We do nothing and nothing gets solved blah blah blah the case remains forever unsolved and we drown in our sorrows blah blah wasted our one chance.” Sanghyuk waved his hands around dramatically while he talked, even rolling his eyes to stress how stupid the idea was. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Or</span>
  </em>
  <span> you guys trust Chanhee and I to go figure it out. We find something nobody else has the ability to find, we solve the case, maybe even stop the murders, and you guys admit Chanhee and I are fucking awesome.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so sure you have the ability to solve it?” Taeyang asked, stepping forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I not only have connections to gangs, I have more information than anyone else on the planet, I am personally connected to every victim in some way, I have Chanhee who can hack into fucking anything, and I know what the fuck I’m doing,” Sanghyuk ranted, pulling a finger out from under his thumb as he counted everything he could do to help in this case. “Oh yeah, and how about the fact that almost everything we know up to this point is because of me? You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, just go,” Youngkyun caved, waving Sanghyuk off before turning to Taeyang. “The more you argue with him the more he’s just going to fight you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you agree it’s a good idea?” Sanghyuk asked, smiling at the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re a dumbass and this plan is fucking stupid,” Youngkyun told him, crossing his arms over his chest. “But you’re going to do it anyways no matter what, so just be safe about it, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, are you sure you don’t want to come?” Chanhee offered with a devilish smirk. “Don’t let Youngkyun hold you back from enjoying the company of the strip club.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First of all, he doesn’t enjoy the company of girls, he enjoys </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> company,” Youngkyun jumped in almost instantly, sending Chanhee a small glare. “And like I said, we’re fucked if anyone recognizes us. So you guys are on your own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not just us,” Sanghyuk announced proudly, earning a confused look from Chanhee as the boy turned around to look at him. “We have one more person to bring onto our team.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate the both of you so fucking much,” Youngbin spat at them from the back seat of the car while Sanghyuk and Chanhee laughed. Sanghyuk leaned back in the seat, folding his hands under his head as Chanhee started the engine, pulling out of Youngbin’s driveway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for agreeing to help us,” Chanhee said with a glowing smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just kidnapped me from my house!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, feel free to open the door and jump out at any point in time,” Sanghyuk offered, shrugging as Chanhee pulled out onto the main road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’d rather!” Youngbin told the both of them, pouting as he sunk down in the backseat of the car. “What am I even-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s clothes for you back there somewhere. They might have fallen on the floor, but you can change into those,” Chanhee spoke, cutting him off with another smile, flashing it to him in the rearview mirror before returning his attention to the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with the clothes I’m wearing now?” Youngbin asked, looking down to his light blue wash jeans and yellow comfort sweater. Sanghyuk held down the urge to snort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin… my favorite bartender. My dear friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where we are going, you can’t wear a fuzzy yellow sweater. Change into the black shirt and leather jacket,” Sanghyuk finished, smiling to himself and making himself comfortable in his seat. “We have about a half an hour drive so get comfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not doing shit until you assholes tell me why I’m being brought out of Seoul against my will,” Youngbin complained with a pout. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know the murders at Xang?” Chanhee asked, looking over his shoulder to Youngbin to quickly get his attention before spinning his head back around. Youngbin nodded, making a noise to let Chanhee know he did. “Well, we’re going to a strip club in-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A strip club?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t finished,” Chanhee told him shortly. “Yes, a strip club in Danam-Dong, Gyeyang-Gyu, Incheon. It’s the last place one of the victims was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kitaek. I know,” Youngbin mumbled, grabbing the clothes from the floor of the car. “So just because Kitaek was last seen at a strip club, that means we have to go? And why me? Aren’t you criminals fine on your own?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, when we get there, I’ll need to talk to the lovely lady Kitaek visited, which will most likely be about the worst experience in my entire life. Chanhee will hack the CCTV system, and you, my lovely friend, will talk to the girls around the club and get any information you can.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t Chanhee do that?!” Youngbin whined, gesturing to the boy in the driver’s seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he’s too baby faced.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Chanhee grumbled at Sanghyuk. “Go enjoy your time with Miss Kassandra Kim.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather choke,” Sanghyuk grumbled back, moving his arms to cross them over his chest. “I think we should all just go in and do what we’re having Youngbin do!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even want to do what I’m doing!” Youngbin called out, pulling his shirt off to switch it while being immediately ignored by everyone else in the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! This was Youngkyun’s idea! And you agreed!” Chanhee pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have. That fucker just wanted to make me uncomfortable,” Sanghyuk spat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Youngkyun was right saying this was the best way to get information, and he made you agree to do it because he knew you would never suggest it yourself,” Chanhee commented, turning onto another street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WAIT!” Youngbin called out, leaning over Sanghyuk’s chair before fully getting the black shirt on. Right now, it just hung around his neck. “Do Youngkyun and Taeyang know I know you’re Dawon?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang doesn’t even know I’m Dawon!” Sanghyuk reminded him, turning around in his seat and swatting at Youngbin’s head. “But well.. Youngkyun knows… </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You fucker,” Youngbin sneered at him. “I had a lovely undercover thing going and you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to blow it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In our defense, you shouldn’t know anyways. It’s just our luck that Hyuk is a talkative drunk,” Chanhee commented while Youngbin finished pulling his arms through the sleeves of the shirt. “But it’s fine. Youngkyun didn’t say anything… well he probably would have if Taeyang wasn’t in the room. But that doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It matters to me!” Youngbin called out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Change your pants playboy!” Sanghyuk called out, sinking back down comfortably into his seat. He slowly began reclining the seat, forcing Youngbin to inch over to sit behind Chanhee instead with a sour expression on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me to change my pants but you’re reclining you fucking pervert,” Youngbin mumbled, moving over to flick Sanghyuk on the head before quickly unbuttoning his jeans. Sanghyuk glared at him as he rubbed the spot on his forehead, promptly flipping over to face away from the boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took just over half an hour to reach the club, the sun already having set past the horizon, leaving the sky drenched in a pasty darkness. Immediately upon opening the door, Sanghyuk had no choice but to shiver, quickly grabbing his jacket from the floor of the car and swinging it over his arms. “Oh god, it’s freezing,” he commented, pulling his arms around himself as his breath came out in white puffs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> November,” Youngbin told him, pulling himself out of the car and closing the door behind himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I guess I’ll just stay outside… away from all the pretty girls… hacking into a strip club’s security footage… yeah that’s fine,” Chanhee grumbled through the crack in his window as he pulled out his computer. Sanghyuk smiled at him, walking around to lean against his open window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Strip clubs have more than just outside security cameras,” Sanghyuk whispered, holding his hands up to his mouth before tapping Chanhee on the side of the shoulder. “Don’t soil the car while we’re gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that illegal?!” Youngbin asked, running up to Sanghyuk quickly. Sanghyuk just shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, probably,” he replied with a shrug. “But it’s just like a regular porno. Should they be filming the girls? No. But… it is technically their job to sleep with people, and I know some places have them sign a contract,” he explained, shrugging again as they approached the door. “Who am I to bust them? I should, though, shouldn’t I? Should that be the next thing I do? Exposing stripping joints?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just stop telling me about all the illegal stuff you do,” Youngbin mumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “Chanhee won’t watch them. He’s too nice. If anything, he’ll hack the camera of the room I’m in just to laugh at me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to know what you guys do. You act like this isn’t the first time you’ve done this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Binnie, there isn’t an illegal thing in the world Chanhee and I haven’t been directly or indirectly involved with,” he mumbled quickly before tapping Youngbin on the shoulder, pulling open the door to the club and letting himself inside. It was too easy to bring Youngbin here. Anyone else would have fought him or complained, even if they didn’t know who he was. But Youngbin only complained. He went along with it for some reason Sanghyuk couldn’t fathom, but it was convenient.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just ask around for information about Kitaek,” Sanghyuk told him under his breath as they walked in. “I have to go find Miss Kassandra Kim and… flirt. Ew.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk walked away without saying anything more, venturing into the depths of the strip club. It smelled terrible, and Sanghyuk really didn’t want to think about how much dried semen he was walking on. He didn’t even want to glance at the floors. Men around him screamed at the ladies on the stage, and Sanghyuk really couldn’t help but be completely repulsed. He tried not to touch any of them, but they all just seemed to find bumping into complete strangers just as exciting as the nearly naked girls. Sanghyuk averted his eyes as much as he could, honestly feeling bad for the girls who had to stand up there and dance while men shouted obscene things at them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate this fucking place,” he mumbled under his breath, pushing past another group of obnoxious men in his way. He moved his hand to block them from his view as he moved more towards the stage. He found someone familiar easily enough, and as he approached them; he found his heart dropping to his ass as he realized he really had to do this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You the club owner?” Sanghyuk asked in a rougher voice than usual, smiling a bit to himself as he recognized the man from the pictures he was sent from his server. It figured the boys from his gang would know the owner to the place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s asking?” the guy asked in return, glancing at him for only a mere second before returning his eyes to watch the stage, like an overseer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A friend of Kim Kitaek’s,” Sanghyuk mumbled, leaning a bit more towards the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The men from his server had given him quite a bit of information on Kitaek, including the fact that Kitaek was a regular at this place, but not by schedule. He came when he pleased, mostly only once a month or so. But Kitaek always overpaid and embellished the establishment. And he always came back to gush about his nights with one Miss Kassandra Kim.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen man, you a cop?” the guy asked, turning to face him. “We don’t know nothing about him, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just wanna see Kassandra,” Sanghyuk told the man, holding his hands up before taking a step forward again. “I heard you do special services here, and I’m willing to pay the same price Kitaek does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk would have to take at least seven showers later for just being in this building, with an additional four for the way he was acting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said Kassandra?” the man asked, leaning forward, interested at the mention of a large sum of money. Sanghyuk would also have to indirectly apologize to Inseong for using the money he paid him to buy time with a stripper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had to pay first, obviously, and he expected as much. Nothing shocked him more than the glares of confident men as he passed off his well earned money for a fucking scam. If Sanghyuk was really trying, which he should have, he could have just come in and kidnapped Kassandra. It really wouldn’t have been that hard. He could have broken into the room and drugged the next guy she came in with, or he could have just called the cops on the fucking place and stole Kassandra away with the promise of not getting her arrested. Why was he spending his fucking money here?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled out his phone as he came into the special room where Kassandra would meet him. He pulled up Chanhee’s number in his messages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>SANGHYUK: Transfer the six hundred thousand won I just gave them from their account to my mock account so we can get it back in cash by tomorrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>SANGHYUK: And transfer an extra three hundred thousand for my pain and suffering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>SANGHYUK: Consider it compensation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHANHEE: Should I just transfer one million over as Dawon when we get back so we can take it out and close the account? I’ll open a new one for you after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>SANGHYUK: If we’re robbing them as Dawon don’t be shy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>SANGHYUK: Transfer two million at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shoved his phone back in his pocket with a sigh as he looked around the room, honestly too afraid to touch anything. It was a dark room, glowing purple which Sanghyuk guessed was supposed to make it feel more sexy. It didn’t. It felt dirtier, but with the dim lighting Sanghyuk couldn’t see it. He would have to take an additional five showers now, but he had already lost count of how many he planned to take. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door opened sooner than Sanghyuk expected it to, causing him to turn around with wide eyes as a girl, who Sanghyuk could only assume to be the Miss Kassandra Kim, entered the room, closing the door behind her. Her hair, wavy and highlighted to make it come off as absolutely stunning, hung midway down her back. Right now, it was all pushed away from her neck, exposing what little she wore around her chest. It seemed more like strings and small pieces of fabric than anything that could count as an actual bra, and it exposed a lot. Sanghyuk would admit, he couldn’t help but look, but it wasn’t in any way of interest. He just genuinely was curious to know how she could be comfortable in anything like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked her up and down in a way that could have been considered checking her out to someone that didn’t know him better before she made the first move of approaching him. Sanghyuk held his hands out quickly, stepping around her and putting himself in between her and the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Miss Kassandra Kim?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can just call me Kassy,” she purred at him, stepping closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No thank you. I’ll stick with Miss Kassandra Kim,” Sanghyuk told her outright, gesturing to the bed with open hands. “You can sit if you’d like, but please, for my sake, don’t… take anything off. Are there any spare clothes in here? Feel free to cover yourself up if you feel awkward. I know I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… don’t want to sleep with me?” Kassandra asked, lifting an eyebrow at him. “Then why am I here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, you’re still getting paid for your precious time,” Sanghyuk assured her with a professional smile, gesturing to the bed again. “Please sit on the bed so I don’t have to stand between you and the door like some type of guard expecting you to run out. I paid for my time still so… please,” he requested. He couldn’t think of a way to possibly be more polite in such an unsettling and uncomfortable situation, so he did his best to accommodate Miss Kassandra Kim. In the long run, hopefully it would make her more likely to talk to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want from me?” she asked, crossing her arms across her chest in a way that just completely perked up her boobs. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure if there was any other girl in the world that crossed her arms so tightly </span>
  <em>
    <span>under</span>
  </em>
  <span> her boobs like Miss Kassandra Kim did, and it seemed like some cliche anime scene to him, but he just nodded and accepted it. Maybe it was habit? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like you to hear me out before you try and run?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head. “Do you know Kim Kitaek?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, the dead guy?” she asked, clicking her tongue as she raised her eyebrows at him, shifting her posture to straighten her legs. Her arms unfolded before finding their way to her hips. That was a power stance if Sanghyuk had ever seen one, and he was extremely intimidated by it. That was, after all, most likely the intention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really had to snap out of it. Letting Kassandra have the upper hand against him was not how to get information from someone. Maybe if he just gave Dawon a smidge of control in this interaction he would be standing above her now. He needed to have dominance in the room… but not like that. Just conversational dominance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, letting his other personality almost take control of his muscles. His stance slouched in mere unamusement as he convinced himself this was the best way to do things. Be dominant, just don’t be a rude asshole like you usually are, he told himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, ‘the dead guy,’” Sanghyuk confirmed, stepping away from the door and toward Kassandra with a calm demeanor. Dawon had some wild ways of doing things, and Sanghyuk hated himself for going along with them sometimes. But then again, Dawon at least got shit done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was standing in front of Kassandra before he could stop himself, placing his fingers on the underside of her chin to lift her head up to face him. He stood with a straight back, taller than her not by a lot, but by enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you do me a favor and tell me about Kitaek?” Sanghyuk asked, stepping away from her and leaving the path to the door completely open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is this? Good cop, bad cop?” Kassandra asked, furrowing her brows at him in a nasty manner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Sanghyuk told her with a shrug, walking over to the bed. Even as Dawon, he refused to touch it. “But I tried being innocent and asking nicely, and you just tensed up. So I won’t try that anymore.” Sanghyuk wouldn’t mention how much he would have rather done that, considering how uncomfortable he felt in a room like this with such a dominant girl. How did she work sleeping with guys when she gave off the vibe of being able to step over any one person she chose to? Sanghyuk decided it was better not to think about it. “So do me a favor and tell me about Kitaek so I can leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And why would you want to leave?” Kassandra asked, moving up in front of Sanghyuk quickly like a snake, slithering her arm around his neck and almost pressing her body against his. Not only was she dominant, she also knew how to manipulate a lust filled man. Too bad Sanghyuk was gay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I hate this place,” Sanghyuk sneered at her. Kassandra had her hand on Sanghyuk’s chest before he could move away from her trap, and with one swift movement, his body was down flat against the bed. Sanghyuk winced at the pain from his back, but tried his absolute best not to show it as Kassandra climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. Nevermind. The main room of the strip club was fine. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the worst place and position he had ever been in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure, baby?” Kassandra asked, trailing her fingers along his jawline.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty damn sure,” Sanghyuk told her with gritted teeth as her fingers moved down his neck. This was just pissing him off at this point. With one movement, Sanghyuk jerked his hips up, pushing Kassandra’s balance off as Sanghyuk swung half of his body around, easily pinning her into the bed out of shock. “Because I’m not into women. No offense.” he whispered, watching Kassandra’s eyes go wide with shock. Sanghyuk still refused to get off her though, holding her wrists to the bed. “Now how about you agree to tell me about Kitaek in a more comfortable manner?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t sell information on clients,” Kassandra hissed at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s dead,” Sanghyuk commented, pursing his lips as he spoke. “Who the fuck cares? Is the information you give me going to ruin his life now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why do you want it?” Kassandra hissed at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mind your own business,” Sanghyuk sneered back at her, adjusting his hold on her wrists. “You can start by telling me how you two know each other, and what you know about his life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Sanghyuk got back out to the car he felt his cheeks heating up in embarrassment as Chanhee nearly fell out of the car from laughing so hard. Sanghyuk wrapped his arms tightly around himself as he pulled his lips into a thin line, Youngbin looking at him in confusion the whole time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You fucking-” Chanhee started, but he couldn’t finish his own sentence, collapsing to the ground in a fit of laughter. He really fell out of the car this time, holding his hands against the concrete of the parking lot as he wheezed out the remains of his sanity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, yeah, get it out now,” Sanghyuk mumbled, looking away to glance around the uninteresting parking lot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Youngbin asked, looking to Chanhee, clearly not expecting an answer from Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He-” Chanhee started, but again, the boy could barely breathe. “Kassandra… she got him pinned against the bed,” Chanhee pushed out, collapsing into a ball of giggling laughter as Youngbin clearly held back the urge to snort in amusement. He looked to Sanghyuk with a held back smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you missing the part where I pinned her back?” Sanghyuk called out, gaping at Chanhee. “Were you too busy laughing that you missed that part?! I pinned her down too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk… you basically hip-thrusted her over onto the bed. You think you were so intimidating?” Chanhee asked, wiping away actual tears as he pushed himself up to a sitting position on the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got what I wanted didn’t I?” Sanghyuk asked, quickly walking around the car to his door so he could get in. “And hey!” he called out, pulling his door open but pausing before he could swing himself inside the car. “Let’s finish this up so I can go home and take ten dozen showers, okay?” he finished, swinging himself inside and slamming the door shut behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, this is the best thing that has ever happened,” Chanhee told him, laughing as he pushed himself inside the car. Youngbin followed quickly, kicking at Sanghyuk’s chair until he agreed to put it back to its regular position. “You just got completely dominated by a stripper.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Sanghyuk called at him, glaring as he shrugged his jacket off. “I dominated her! Me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay Hyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did! Chanhee, get the video and show him!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That would just be embarrassing for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was still pouting by the time they were back on the roads, arms folded strictly over his chest as he continued to sulk about it. He still felt disgusting, though, which he couldn’t seem to shake from his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So where to next?” Youngbin asked, shrugging off his leather jacket. “Home? We got what we came for, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not even close,” Chanhee told him with a sigh, changing lanes as he drove. “Kitaek was last seen at the strip club, but his car was found next to a bar right outside of Incheon in Ojeong-gu. Jak-Dong, specifically, but I don’t really think you care that much,” Chanhee rambled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So then what was the fucking point of us going to strip club?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To find out if Kitaek told anyone he was there, and if he mentioned anything useful to Miss Kassandra Kim,” Sanghyuk told him, finally turning around in his seat to participate in the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee snorted. “‘Miss Kassandra Kim,’” he mocked him with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, you two got kinky together. Doesn’t she like to be called Kassy?” Youngbin asked, leaning forward from the back seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you find out anything <em>useful</em> while you were in there?” Sanghyuk asked, spinning around in his seat quickly to flick Youngbin’s head. He hit the mark dead center, earning a sound of distress from Youngbin as he scooted back and covered his forehead. “And we didn’t get… you know what?! No! I don’t even want to say it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That you and Kassy got kinky together?” Chanhee offered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will put you up for fucking adoption,” Sanghyuk threatened, glaring at him before crossing his arms in a grouchy manner again. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Miss Kassandra Kim</span>
  </em>
  <span> told me Kitaek was more stressed than he usually was and was a bit… rougher… than-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee really couldn’t hold himself together for two more fucking seconds before he bursted out laughing again, snorting at Sanghyuk’s comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are literally nineteen years old!” Sanghyuk called at the boy, swatting his arm. “Stop acting like you’re twelve! Kassandra said-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh so it’s ‘Kassandra’ now?” Youngbin asked from the back seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One more comment from you and I’ll throw you into the ocean and let you drown,” Sanghyuk threatened, spinning around in his seat to glare at Youngbin who was trying very hard not to laugh. “Chanhee!” he whined next, turning to face him. “Stop! Kassandra said Kitaek was already upset when he went there! He went in a fit of unsettled depression with the way his life was going! He meant to go home later that night, and he just wanted to get away. Nobody knew he went there, and he didn’t get his assignment done first. God, you two are insufferable,” he spoke, getting the words out as quickly as he could to avoid being interrupted again. “Can we just get to the fucking bar already?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just so you know, Kitaek was kicked out of the club that night,” Youngbin spoke up, not laughing anymore. “Apparently he caused a ruckus after his time with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kassy</span>
  </em>
  <span> and got sent out for the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he was out of his fucking mind already? Alright. Noted. But also, now we know Ae didn’t know he was going to be here, which means he either followed him here or ran into him by accident.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were at the bar quickly enough, Chanhee carrying his computer cradled on one arm while Youngbin and Sanghyuk walked in on either side of him. The police had already searched the whole area around Kitaek’s car and had it towed away, but they hadn’t found any of his personal belongings around the car. Sanghyuk, for one, desperately wanted to find his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin, can you get info from the bartender on Kitaek?” Sanghyuk asked with a sweet smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bartenders don’t sell information,” Youngbin told him in a hushed voice as they made their way into the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So use your bartender to bartender charm and convince him,” Sanghyuk told him, patting him on the shoulder before guiding Chanhee over to a table so he could put his computer down. “Alright,” he began, taking his seat as Chanhee took his. “The bar told the police they didn’t recognize Kitaek, but that has to be a load of bullshit. He couldn’t have been mugged here. He definitely went somewhere else after this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because this bar is in Bucheon, but the Xang site he was found at is on the other side of Incheon. The closest site to us now is in Daejang-Dong,” Chanhee finished for him, Sanghyuk nodding along as he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he went somewhere after this. We just need to figure out where,” Sanghyuk spoke, looking to Chanhee’s computer. Chanhee waved at him dismissively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m already working on hacking the system. Be patient.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Youngbin came back over to their table, Chanhee had already brushed his hair back in annoyance about a several dozen times. Youngbin looked to Chanhee quickly before taking a seat at the table with them. He gave Chanhee one more look before opting to look at Sanghyuk instead. “The bartender said Kitaek </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> here, and he kept mumbling to the bartender about money from a job he didn’t want on his hands anymore. That’s it, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So the money from the assignment,” Sanghyuk guessed, looking to Chanhee. “Hey! Did you hear me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is stupid,” Chanhee bursted out, causing both Sanghyuk and Youngbin to jump from his outburst. “Everything else they have is online and accessible except for their CCTVs of anywhere, including the parking lot. My guess is he left either with a lady, less likely, or in a taxi, but we’ll never know how he left unless we have the CCTV, and they won’t just give it to us,” he ranted, glaring at his computer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been trying to hack into everything?” Youngbin asked, looking between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you were up there for like fifteen minutes,” Sanghyuk guessed. “But Chanhee gets impatient when it comes to hacking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’s the bartender?” Chanhee asked, looking to Youngbin. Youngbin looked too scared to really do anything else as he carefully lifted his hand, pointing to a specific man behind the bar counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee what are you doing?” Sanghyuk asked quickly, reaching out for the boy too late. He was already out of his seat, marching up to the counter. Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to grab his computer, chasing after him quickly. Youngbin just followed like a lost puppy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello!” Chanhee said with a chipper smile to the bartender. The bartender looked to Youngbin behind him before sighing, turning to Chanhee, but Chanhee didn’t let him speak. “Can we have the CCTVs from October 31st?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” the man told him quickly, and before Sanghyuk could reach out to stop him, Chanhee had leaned over the counter, grabbed the bartender by his necktie, and pulled him harshly against the counter. People stopped to stare, but no matter how much Sanghyuk tried to pull him away, Chanhee just ignored him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You seem to think I was asking,” Chanhee observed in a hushed voice. “Give me the CCTVs from October 31st or I’ll expose your shit excuse of an establishment for tax fraud and illegal purchasing and selling of narcotics, not to mention the disgusting secret cameras you have in your bathrooms. I’ll give you five seconds to decide. Five-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I can show you- I’ll give them to you!” the bartender told him quickly, raising his hands up in surrender. Chanhee smiled bittersweetly at the man, dropping his tie easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’d be great thanks.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or, yeah, we can just threaten them,” Sanghyuk mumbled, nodding as the bartender gestured for them to follow him. Youngbin seemed all but gone behind them, as if he wished he could just disappear and not be anywhere near them. Chanhee was kind enough to grab the sleeve of his shirt and pull him along as they followed the bartender to the back of the bar where their security footage was kept. Sanghyuk thought Chanhee might have to threaten someone else for them, too, but it turned out the guy Chanhee already threatened was the owner of the bar. How convenient. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does Chanhee always get this impatient?” Youngbin whispered, leaning closer to Sanghyuk as Chanhee loomed over the man’s shoulder, waiting for the footage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not usually,” Sanghyuk said with a shrug. “We really needed this, though, and the hacking wasn’t going well for him. It’s rare, but every now and then he loses his temper. Best to stay out of his way when he does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I thought you were the one that made him do this,” Youngbin mumbled, pulling away from Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He likes it just as much as I do,” Sanghyuk whispered, moving away as Chanhee gestured for him to come over. On the screen in front of him was a video feed from outside of the bar of a taxi, which was conveniently turned at the perfect angle to make the license plate unreadable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He says this is Kitaek,” Chanhee informed him, pointing to the man approaching the taxi from the bar. “So he left by taxi. But we can’t get the license plate, and even if we could, I don’t have access codes for Bucheon traffic cams, so hacking them would be an hour long pain in the ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the hell are you guys?” the guy mumbled, looking between all of them in a terrified manner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll give you a three hundred thousand won to never mention this,” Sanghyuk spoke up without even looking in his direction, instead, nudging Chanhee’s shoulder. “Keep it rolling, I want to see who leaves directly after him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee let the video play out, but for the next five minutes, people only came into the bar. Nobody left. Sanghyuk told him to try a full view feed of the entire parking area instead, but still, no cars pulled out immediately after the taxi left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… what exactly are you looking for?” Youngbin asked, peeking over their shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means he wasn’t being followed, either,” Sanghyuk said, turning around to face Youngbin. “So Ae didn’t know he was going to be up here, and he didn’t follow him either. That means Kitaek couldn’t have been his target.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… Ae was up here targeting someone else?” Chanhee asked, turning around in the chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Possibly,” Sanghyuk said with a shrug. “I mean, we don’t know for sure, but Kitaek had a needle prick in his neck, too. Ae injected drugs into him just like he did every other one of his victims. If Ae wasn’t in Incheon to kill someone, why did he have the drugs with him? Why did he know the Xang sites in the area?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good point,” Chanhee agreed in a low voice, looking to the screen again before turning to smile at the bartender. “Thanks for giving this to us!” he turned to Youngbin next. “Do you have three hundred thousand won on you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you fucking serious?” Youngbin asked, blinking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll give you five hundred thousand tomorrow after we…” Chanhee laughed in the middle of his sentence to nobody but himself. “We’ll have the money for you, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So the real question is where did Kitaek go after leaving the bar?” Sanghyuk asked, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants as they made their way across the parking lot. They had left the bar like kings while the owner shriveled in fear behind them. What a coward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well he came up here often enough, so it really could have been anywhere,” Chanhee admitted with a pout. “I really don’t want to hack Bucheon </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Incheon traffic cams. Do you even know how hard that is?” Chanhee asked, raising his eyebrows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys? Duh? He went to gamble,” Youngbin spoke up, like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could you possibly know that?” Sanghyuk asked, pulling the door to the car open but not yet pushing himself inside, instead waiting for Youngbin to answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he told the bartender he had money he wanted to lose. You said he had the money from his assignment, and your kinky hook up said he never went to the assignment first. He wanted to waste the money,” Youngbin deducted, and Sanghyuk decided to let the comment about Kassandra pass. “But since he was so out of it, he probably went to an illegal den, and we don’t know where those are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet we don’t,” Sanghyuk said with a smile, pulling the computer from Chanhee’s arms and opening his server. His boys, as expected, were more than happy to tell him where the popular illegal dens were in the Incheon area. It just so happened, there was one right down the street from Wonchang-Dong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, sit the fuck down,” Chanhee told him, pushing Sanghyuk back into his seat. He was currently standing in front of Sanghyuk’s open door, blocking his way out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? It’s a good plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s dumb. You can’t just go into a den, gamble, and expect them to tell you everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin shook his head, deflating in the back seat. “Sanghyuk, do you even know how to gamble?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you guys forget I have an IQ of 140 and can count cards. Does me being Dawon make you forget I could have gone to a top tier university?” Sanghyuk asked, gaping at the group. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I literally can’t believe you,” Youngbin confessed from the back seat. “There’s no way </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> have an IQ of 140. You’re a fucking dumbass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who do you think makes everything I use as Dawon? Who do you think puts everything together?” Sanghyuk questioned, turning around in his seat to meet Youngbin’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s valid,” Sanghyuk agreed, turning back around to face Chanhee. “Fine. How else would you like to figure out what happened to Kitaek?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s a den, so they won’t have any cameras for security reasons, but they do have guards at every entrance. Kitaek goes in and Kitaek comes out. That’s all we need to know,” Chanhee announced happily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They won’t just tell you that,” Youngbin told him with an unamused and, frankly, uninterested, expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They will,” Chanhee said happily, bouncing over to the trunk and popping it open. Sanghyuk followed him quickly, only to have his mask shoved in his hands. Sanghyuk sighed, glaring at Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry, do you want to know where Kitaek went or not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! Nope! Absolutely not!” Youngbin started yelling, walking over to them quickly and ripping the mask from Sanghyuk’s hands, only to throw it back down into the depths of the trunk. “I didn’t sign up for this!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well congratulations, you’ve been promoted,” Chanhee told him, retrieving the mask easily and handing it back to Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every time I’m with you guys lately… every single time,” Youngbin mumbled to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just wear the mask and flood the pipes with fire extinguisher shit or something,” Chanhee suggested, clearly coming up with the first thing he could think of. “While you do that, I’ll scope out the building for bits and pieces of evidence, and Youngbin can </span>
  <em>
    <span>politely</span>
  </em>
  <span> ask the guards if they’ve seen Kitaek.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do I have to be a part of this?!” Youngbin whined like a child, waving his arms around with a complete pouty expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re here to help us,” Chanhee told him, grabbing a few smoke bombs from the trunk and attaching them to one of Sanghyuk’s belts with ease, like muscle memory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee,” Sanghyuk interrupted, grabbing onto Chanhee’s shoulders. Chanhee stopped at his interruption, which was actually surprising. “There are easier ways to do this,” he mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said you chose the middle,” Chanhee pointed out, quickly returning his attention to the belt. He grabbed a small contraption Sanghyuk had invented which would spurt sparks and hot gas everywhere and attached it to the belt as well. “You said you weren’t giving Dawon up. Well I’m gonna be honest, Hyuk, it kind of sounds like you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying fire extinguishers in the pipes are a bit much,” Sanghyuk told him quickly, grabbing the belt and securing it around his waist. “I’m not giving up Dawon. Your idea was just kind of lame, to be honest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt a sour taste on his tongue as he realized how much Dawon meant to Chanhee. Dawon was almost his entire life. Of course… Sanghyuk wanted to end it. He could say that to himself, right? He wanted to. But it was clear Chanhee didn’t want him to give up. And until the time came for him to end it properly, he would just have to keep it going. He wouldn’t give up on it if Chanhee didn’t want him to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we blow up the pipes instead?” Sanghyuk suggested, raising an eyebrow in Chanhee’s direction. “We can stick my gas flares in the pipes and wreck the place. I wouldn’t mind some Jay Park playing in the background, too, if you could hack the speakers easily enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jay Park?” Chanhee asked with a smile, his cheeks puffing up as Sanghyuk agreed to being Dawon. Sanghyuk swooped his hair back quickly, grabbing a can of white hair paint and coating his thumb and pointer finger in it within seconds. He made a streak in his hair with it and quickly wiped his fingers off on a spare rag in the trunk. Youngbin, the whole time, looked like he was about to start crying out of spite for the look. “What Jay Park songs?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you do a playlist?” Sanghyuk asked, picking up the mask and wiping any dust or fuzz off of it. “How about ‘Forget About Tomorrow’ as our opener, ‘Drive’, and then ‘Mommae’, but the remix version because that’s the better one. And if you want to add another one, do ‘All I Wanna Do.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you guys usually make playlists for your hijinx?” Youngbin asked, his lips parted open at how ridiculous it seemed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “On occasion. Okay, so, Youngbin, you’re too shaken up for whatever reason, so why don’t you go to the back door and look around. Take pictures if you need to. Just do something and look for something. Chanhee, you should talk to the guards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s probably a better idea,” Chanhee agreed, grabbing a clip wire from the trunk and clipping it on Sanghyuk’s belt before handing him a laser gun from the very back. “Don’t drop it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> need a laser gun for?!” Youngbin whined.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m not going in through the front door,” Sanghyuk told him, like it was obvious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a lot more protesting on Youngbin’s half before Sanghyuk was released to walk around to the side of the shabby looking building. He secured the mask around his face quickly, obviously over another regular black face mask as a security. He made his way over to the side of the building in a small alley with no struggle, unclipping the wire from his belt and tossing it up, pulling his phone out to activate a setting from it, which, thanks to Chanhee, activated the claws on it, which would hold it in place. He clipped the other half of the wire back to his belt, pulled on his gloves, and began climbing without any hesitation. “I fucking hate climbing buildings,” he mumbled to himself anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he was on the roof, it was easy enough to find an air vent to completely destroy with his laser gun. Who needed screwdrivers anyways? He slipped into the building quickly, crawling through the vents with a sigh of cramped frustration before kicking his way out into a spare room for supplies. It was more like an attic crawl space that led out to the self-constructed catwalk hanging over the entirety of the den, but that worked even better for Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He crawled out of the small room quickly, making his way over to the tracks hanging above the basic crowd. He made sure to keep himself hidden as ‘Forget About Tomorrow’ began playing, but he couldn’t help but smile to himself. He hooked his legs around the track before leaning over to the pipes, turning the laser gun over in his hand to access the hooked end of the handle. He pried it under the clamp around the pipe before tugging it downward, popping it a bit loose. Sanghyuk pulled the laser gun away quickly, placing his hands around the pipe and unscrewing it the rest of the way before grabbing one of his hot gas flares, popping it inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved away from the pipe quickly, scurrying across the track as a loud pop came from the unscrewed pipe. Within seconds, hot gas and sparks were erupting inside the pipe, causing it to fall and crash to the floor. The crowd jumped away from it as Sanghyuk hooked his legs over a pipe next to the track. He made sure his legs were comfortable on it before he swung himself down, now watching every face in the crowd turn towards him as he hung upside down from pipes. Though nobody could see it, he smiled before pulling two smoke bombs from his belt. He pulled out the pins with his thumbs before dropping them to the floor. He swung himself up as soon as he dropped them, pulling himself back up on the track as people yelled to get out. Sanghyuk pulled the small plastic circle out from his pocket, dropping his signature symbol to the ground in the cloud of smoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved across the tracks like a monkey as people ran towards the door, and before dropping down from them, he grabbed another hot gas bomb, placing it on the top of the rafters and setting it off. He dropped to the ground with a short burst of pain in his knees, but he paid little to no attention to it as he made his way calmly towards the front counter. A scared man was standing behind it looking a bit too rough and scruffy to be scared by someone like him, but whatever. It worked for Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked up to the counter calmly, pulling a picture of Kitaek out of his pocket and placing it gently on the counter. He slid it over to the man who just backed away, but Sanghyuk didn’t take the tip of his finger away from the picture, even as smoke began to seep over his shoulders, clouding and building up behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you… are you looking for him?” the man asked in a high pitched voice, pushing himself further back as his eyes flickered from his unreadable mask to the picture on the counter. Sanghyuk didn’t show any reaction, simply rolling his eyes, though that wasn’t exactly visible to the cowering man. “I recognize him!” the man yelled quickly. “From two days ago! I saw him!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled the picture back into his pocket, pointing to the door before tilting his head at the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… he didn’t leave through- through the front door. He left through the back!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s brows furrowed behind his mask. Why would he leave through the back? Sanghyuk moved swiftly, jumping over the counter and sitting on it, not really cornering the man, but it gave the same effect with how he refused to run away out of some sort of fear Sanghyuk just couldn’t understand. Was he really that scary? He didn’t think he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why I just know he did </span>
  <em>
    <span>please don’t light me on fire and try to kill me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh… right. Dawon… almost killed Youngkyun and Taeyang. Well, he didn’t really, but to everyone else he did. To everyone else… he had come close to killing twice in the past two months. That’s why people were so scared of him now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Show me,” Sanghyuk hissed at him in a dangerously low voice, and the expression on the man’s face quickly changed from fear to that of a child who might be pissing its pants. He nodded quickly, dashing away from the counter and towards the back door. Sanghyuk followed, silent as if he had never spoken earlier. He followed the counterman all the way to the back door, where he stopped to bounce on his feet out of nerves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He left this way!” he told him, his voice still terrifyingly high. Sanghyuk sighed. This guy was really not being much of a help, and with his mask on, Sanghyuk couldn’t really do the job of interrogating him. In lieu of asking him questions, Sanghyuk lifted his hand, rolling it in a gesture for the man to just keep talking. Eventually he might say something useful. “He lost all the money he came in with,” the man compiled instantly. “I only remember because he was drunk as fuck and causing a scene. Then he started looking around like a crazy man after sitting at our bar and being refused drinks, and after he made eye contact with some guy in a mask sitting at the other table, he ran out, and the guy followed him. The guy was talking on the phone but hung up to go after that loser!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well… that was… useful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin opened the door quickly, his shirt off but tied around his face in a makeshift mask. He looked between the frightened man and Sanghyuk before gesturing his head outside of the den. “I found his phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk made one last glance to the guy in front of him before quickly following Youngbin out of the door. Youngbin moved away quickly, running as quickly as he could away from the bar knowing Sanghyuk would find his way to either follow him or keep up. But Sanghyuk paused by the door, his gloved fingers curling around the door frame. He tried to make his movement soft as he turned his full body around to face the cowering guy again, who whimpered in fear as he looked to him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed as he fought the urge to open his mouth. Dawon wasn’t supposed to speak. He had already spoken, which broke the rule, and yet here he was about to speak again! He wanted to! He knew he shouldn’t, and yet nothing his brain told him could seem to stop him as he opened his mouth, mumbled three words just loud enough for the guy to hear, before following Youngbin into the dark of the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon doesn’t kill.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Anon(ymous)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Where did Taeyang and Chanhee go, again?” Youngkyun asked with a heavy sigh, holding his head in his hands, his back folded over in a way which would eventually lead to a terrible back ache.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To finalize payments on your new house,” Sanghyuk reminded him in nothing more than an exhausted mumble, laying flat on his back as he stared up at the wall again, which was now completely covered in pictures, scribbled notes, and red thread. Looking at the wall so often was starting to become like saying a word so many times it starts to sound completely foreign, like it was never a word in the first place. Sanghyuk sighed again, closing his eyes only to blink them open again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah,” Youngkyun mumbled. It was obvious the boy was falling asleep, and honestly Sanghyuk could feel himself drifting away with thoughts of his bed, too. Hopefully Youngkyun would have a bed soon, too. For the past almost two weeks now Youngkyun and Taeyang had been staying in a hotel. Jaeyoon had paid half of it, and the only reason he didn’t pay the full price was because Youngkyun absolutely refused to let him. He had tried, of course, from what Taeyang had told the group of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now Taeyang was finalizing payments on the new house the two of them had chosen, a cozier and much smaller house that was still pay grades above what Sanghyuk could ever hope to afford. He was happy for them, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should… go over what we know again,” Sanghyuk mumbled, having to blink himself awake again to even get the energy to say that. At this point, the lights were almost burning his eyes, but he was too afraid to dim them knowing he would most likely just fall asleep immediately, and Youngkyun would be right there next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do we have to?” Youngkyun whined, and Sanghyuk could picture the boy jumping awake from the sound of his voice. He sounded so gone already, and Sanghyuk just wanted to join him. He was exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk breathed out, looking up to the wall. He didn’t even have to look at the information anymore, knowing it all by heart already. “So… Ae didn’t follow Kitaek there. Kitaek… ugh. Why don’t we just sleep?” Sanghyuk asked, completely giving up already. He closed his eyes and succumbed to his exhaustion in an uncomfortable position on the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kitaek overheard Ae’s phone call,” Youngkyun mumbled, his voice sounding muffled by the armrest of the couch. “So Ae has an accomplice or something. And… and Kitaek ran outside and tried to call the police… but when the police answered, he wasn’t on the line. So he got… attacked at that time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather just sleep,” Sanghyuk mumbled, curling into the floor. “I just started working again this week, and let me tell you something. I love Inseong to death, but this boy is so fucking energetic when he’s worried. I swear to god him trying to make me work less took more energy to deal with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get over it you baby,” Youngkyun told him weakly. “He was worried because you almost died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t mean I can’t still work. I’m fine,” Sanghyuk retorted, rolling over with a grunt and whine of exhaustion. “Why can’t Ae just come and try to kill </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>already? I would welcome it! It’d make everything so much fucking easier,” he said suddenly, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “If he just tried to come for me it would be instant! Case solved! I know who Ae is, I kick the shit out of him, we stop the murders, everything goes back to normal!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really think it would be that easy?” Youngkyun asked, opening only one of his eyes to peak at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I do!” Sanghyuk argued, sighing as he turned his head to look at the wall again. “I just… I’m mad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why specifically?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because we’re still missing something,” Sanghyuk grumbled, letting his eyes drift over every single file and paper attached to the walls in a messy attempt to understand everything going on. “It’s right here. I know it is. We’re missing it because we’re looking too hard into everything. It’s right here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then hurry up and find it,” Youngkyun told him, rolling over to finally sit upright and look at the wall. “Because I’m spent. I’ve got nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s think about this, okay?” Sanghyuk asked, as if he was now suddenly fully awake as he spun around to face Youngkyun. “Ae had the drugs with him that night, right? So he was obviously planning to kill someone that night and dump them at Wonchang-Dong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but even if he was still going to go back and do what he originally planned to do, Dawon caused a huge scene right down the road. You really think he would go back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think he would,” Sanghyuk mumbled, turning to look over his shoulder at the wall. “I think this whole thing is a show for Dawon. I think whoever the fuck Ae is wants Dawon to know he knows too much. If we’re finally getting close, why would he pull back? He’ll go back to Wonchang-Dong, I think.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you did that,” Youngkyun mumbled with a scoff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What would you have us do?” Sanghyuk asked, looking straight at Youngkyun. “Chanhee wanted me to prove I wasn’t giving up on Dawon! I couldn’t say no!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you lied to him!” Youngkyun pointed out, pulling himself to straighten his back as he accused Sanghyuk of lying to his brother. “Because you <em>do</em> want to be done with Dawon!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what?!” Sanghyuk asked, ignoring the question ringing in his mind of how Youngkyun so easily figured it out. “Yeah! I’m trying to end Dawon!” Sanghyuk admitted. “But I want to end Dawon with a finale, you know? I want to stop Jaeyoon and put him to rest. I don’t want him to have a purpose anymore when I finally walk away from it all. Right now, more than ever, there’s a purpose for Dawon to be out and about. Dawon should be roaming the streets! There’s murders, false crimes, and even Jaeyoon being a- never mind. The point is that I can’t give up on Dawon right now,” Sanghyuk found himself rambling. “I can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you seen the news lately?” Youngkyun asked quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been avoiding it,” Sanghyuk admitted. “I’ve been busy working and trying to figure this fucking mess out. I haven’t even wanted to check.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You…” Youngkyun started, his voice trailing off as he seemed to lose the words on his tongue, but quickly tried to pull them back together again. “You created quite the controversy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always create controversies,” Sanghyuk reminded him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s different this time,” Youngkyun told him, shrugging. “Some people are calling Jaeyoon out for something to really be done about you. A lot of people are convinced you started that fire. They’re scared of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No shit. What’s new?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But a shit ton of people are saying you didn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked at the ground before looking up to Youngkyun quickly with furrowed brows. “They’re… that’s stupid. Why would they say that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because of what you said to the guy at that gambling den,” Youngkyun told him, pulling himself together with a sigh. “Dawon never speaks… so obviously when he does it becomes something huge. And you said the same thing you did back then. ‘Dawon doesn’t kill.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have done that,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pulling his head back down to his lap where his hands sat, his fingers twisting together in an effort to keep his mind at least somewhat focused on anything else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s the best thing you could have done,” Youngkyun retorted, pulling out his phone. “Do you want to see a poll that people put up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A poll?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, the people put up a poll. You have two choices. Do you think Dawon started the fire, or do you think he didn’t? Do you want to know the results?” Youngkyun asked, swiping up on his phone to pull up the article which he found in just a matter of seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Sanghyuk admitted, pulling his lips into a thin line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“56 to 44,” Youngkyun told him anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those 44 percent are wasting their time,” Sanghyuk told him quickly, rolling onto his side to turn away from Youngkyun. He didn’t really want to talk about this topic anymore. “They shouldn’t try to defend me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those 44 percent are saying you started the fire,” Youngkyun whispered, but his words rang loudly in Sanghyuk’s ears, causing him to bolt up, sitting upright in a matter of seconds and staring strangely at Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re fucking lying,” Sanghyuk accused, pushing himself up and quickly moving over to Youngkyun, grabbing the phone from his hands. But Youngkyun wasn’t lying. The poll was crystal clear, and still ongoing. 44% of the people that voted said Dawon started the fire. 56% said he didn’t. 56% believed he was innocent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, Hyuk, you created a real controversy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… I… why would they-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is going on the news tomorrow to do a huge interview about it. I heard from Taeyang he plans to convince the public it was you, to talk about how maybe you’re just losing your mind,” Youngkyun interrupted him. “Taeyang and I are going on later in the day to do the same thing, but I’m fighting for the fact that you didn’t, even if Taeyang doesn’t like it. The public is hooked,” he finished, grabbing his phone back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well Jaeyoon hadn’t called to ask </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> about it,” Sanghyuk spat. “Not that he would. But you know, it’d be nice to believe, after all this time, he still believes I wouldn’t kill someone. Not to be sentimental, but we have known each other for eight fucking years, and I’ve never given him-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon isn’t supposed to say what he thinks,” Youngkyun told him, giving him a very faint smile. “Of course, he thinks you did it, but even if he didn’t, he has to play the hero role. He can’t fight for you. You know that, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He still could have called and asked,” Sanghyuk said with a pout, looking to the wall again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you call him, then?” Youngkyun suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I have nothing to explain to that bastard. I did what I did and I didn’t do what I didn’t. I said the things I said and he can take it how he wants if he’s too ignorant to see both sides of a story,” Sanghyuk grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn’t help but snort at it, though. Jaeyoon was focused on Dawon now when he could simply just call and have everything figured out, meanwhile Sanghyuk was the one trying to solve mystery murder cases. It seemed a bit odd when put into the context that Sanghyuk was supposed to be the bad guy, and Jaeyoon was supposed to be the good guy. It didn’t really feel that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All this time… all the way since the beginning of September. People had been going missing, and all that time Jaeyoon focused more on Dawon than what the real problem was. It had been, what, fifty something days now? And ten people had gone missing and eight of them had turned up dead. To even think that someone could ignore that was-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fifty… something… Youngkyun… when did Minjun go missing?” Sanghyuk asked, his eyes popping open as he stared with an empty look to the ground in front of him, but his mind was spinning so fast he felt like he wasn’t looking at anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Why Minjun?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What day did he go missing?” Sanghyuk asked again, looking up to him this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun seemed to think for a moment, his eyes lifting up to the ceiling as he tried to remember. “September seventh I think?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Sanghyuk asked, pushing himself up and quickly grabbing a piece of paper from the coffee table, which was just completely covered in pencils, pens, thread, and crumpled papers. Sanghyuk pushed them all onto the floor with one sweep of his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was September seventh,” Youngkyun said confidently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed a marker from the floor, uncapping it with his teeth and spitting the cap onto the ground somewhere. He wrote Minjun’s name onto the paper, writing the date next to his name. “Intak was found next. What day did he go missing?” Sanghyuk asked, witting his name down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The… hold on,” Youngkyun told him quickly, moving over to the wall without hesitation and looking around the papers to find Intak. “The 19th of September.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We found Youngjae and Minsung at the same time right? But Youngjae was missing first… when was the last time he was seen?” Sanghyuk asked, his mind running in a thousand different directions trying to remember each person who had gone missing in the order they had been found. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngjae was last seen on October first, and Minsung was last seen on the seventh, when we found him,” Youngkyun told him quickly. “I don’t understand though. What are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heungsoo was found next. Missing September thirteenth, I remember that one,” Sanghyuk mumbled, writing it down and drawing an arrow to insert Heungsoo between Minjun and Intak. He was the second person missing. “Who was next?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyungi and Taehyun. Hyungi was last seen on October nineteenth, and Taehyun was last seen on the twenty fifth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, writing them down. “So the last one was Kitaek then, right? Missing October thirty first.” He was quick to write it down, counting the number of names he had written on the paper. Eight. “So… that’s all the ones we found,” Sanghyuk mumbled, looking at the paper in front of him with wide eyes. There was a pattern. There was a pattern right in front of him and he had missed it this whole time. “But… but Wooseok and Soohyun are still missing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wooseok was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One of them went missing between September nineteenth and October first,” Sanghyuk mumbled, looking up to Youngkyun. “Am I right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun stared at him for a second before looking at Wooseok’s notes on the wall, then back to Sanghyuk with wide eyes. “He… he went missing September twenty fifth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And then Soohyun? Between October seventh and October nineteenth right?” he asked, gesturing for Youngkyun to check the wall. The boy almost stumbled over his own feet as he jumped to check, staring back at Sanghyuk with a blank look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Soohyun went missing October thirteenth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it,” Sanghyuk mumbled, grabbing a fresh sheet of paper and writing out all of the names in order by date they went missing. Youngkyun quickly stumbled over to him, almost tripping over everything in his path before catching himself on Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “We’ve been looking at them out of order this whole time. We only ever paid attention to the dates they were found, never the dates they went missing,” Sanghyuk mumbled, checking over the list to make sure every name was in perfect order. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Minjun, Heungsoo, Intak, Wooseok, Youngjae, Minsung, Soohyun, Hyungi, Taehyun, Kitaek. That’s everyone. That’s the order,” Sanghyuk explained, moving the marker up to Minjun’s name. “Minjun went missing September seventh… then Heungsoo the thirteenth… then Intak the nineteenth. Wooseok the twenty fifth. Youngjae October first,” he listed off, his voice turning into nothing more than a mumble as he finished listing off. ‘They’re…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re all six days apart,” Youngkyun whispered from behind him, his fingers tightening on his shoulder. Sanghyuk couldn’t help it as his face broke out into a smile. They found it. They found the pattern they had been missing this whole time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every six days… that’s when Ae kills another person. It’s… it’s been here this whole time. Every six days,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling with a smile. Youngkyun pulled his shoulder with a laugh before pulling him up into a big hug, wrapping his arms around him with a cheer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it!” he called out happily, pulling himself into Sanghyuk’s arms. “Oh my god, that's it! So… so if Ae is going to go back and kill the person he meant to in Wonchang-Dong… he’d do it six days from October 31st! That’s… that’s the sixth of November then!” Sanghyuk pointed out happily, bouncing as he pulled away from the hug to look at Youngkyun, but Youngkyun’s expression wasn’t very happy anymore. Slowly, his lips dropped, his lips still parted. “What?” Sanghyuk asked, stepping back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk… today is the sixth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t even register it in his mind before he was stumbling over himself, stepping back and tripping over something he had thrown on the floor earlier, falling back on his ass with a cry of shock and slight pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck!” Sanghyuk screamed, pushing himself up quickly and dashing to his room as quickly as he could. “We need to… we need to get to Wonchang-Dong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold on a second!” Youngkyun called after him as he ran to his room. His eyes looked hesitantly to the window, darkened by night. They didn’t have enough time. But if they didn’t hurry, they’d lose him. For now, they knew the time and location. If they moved any slower… they might lose that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed his computer quickly, throwing it on his bed before quickly ripping off his shirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk what are you doing?!” Youngkyun yelled, grabbing his shoulder with cold hands and spinning him around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to get to Wonchang-Dong,” he breathed out, so certain of himself as he turned away from Youngkyun again to grab a black shirt. He pulled his arms through the sleeves quickly, pulling it over his head and snugly around his body. “It’s already night time. We can’t waste any  more time or we’ll lose him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is the part where we call the cops,” Youngkyun warned Sanghyuk in a low voice. “This is where we let law enforcement deal with it. This is where we </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think the police will take us seriously when we tell them we solved a case they couldn’t even get any leads on?” Sanghyuk snapped, turning around to face Youngkyun within a second as he unbuttoned his pants, stepping out of them quickly. He kicked them to the side, grabbing a pair of black jeans and pulling them on. “They’ll either think we’re a joke or fuck something up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’d rather we do it instead?” Youngkyun asked, stepping closer to him. “Sanghyuk I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m definitely not Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Sanghyuk mumbled, buttoning his pants and quickly tucking his shirt into them. “I don’t want Chanhee to come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait a second,” Youngkyun interrupted him, grabbing his wrist and holding him with a strong grip. “Are you… are you seriously suggesting we go all the way to Wonchang-Dong to catch a killer without even telling Chanhee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If we tell Chanhee then he’ll meet us there,” Sanghyuk told him, ripping his arm away and moving over to his bed. He pulled out the bin underneath it quickly, pushing his main mask to the side like it wasn’t his identity. It was fine, his other one was in the car. “And I don’t want Chanhee going to Wonchang-Dong if Ae is going to be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’d rather us two go alone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, actually,” Sanghyuk confirmed, digging through the bin until he found the clip rope buried all the way at the bottom. He tossed them up onto the bed before grabbing a few extra smoke bombs to replace the ones he had stolen from the car a few days ago. “I think it’s not only more likely that we’ll catch Ae off guard if we go alone, but also more likely to be successful considering I know what the fuck I’m doing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t get over the fact that you don’t even want to tell Chanhee,” Youngkyun mumbled, just as Sanghyuk grabbed an extra black outfit from the bin, tossing it to Youngkyun. Youngkyun caught it easily, staring down at it like he was unsure, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about me not wanting to tell Chanhee,” Sanghyuk clarified, pushing the bin back under the bed. “It’s that I’ve already made up my mind that I’m not going to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what about Taeyang?” Youngkyun asked, still holding the clothes in his hand. “Do you want me to just go with you without telling him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Preferably, yes, considering if you tell Taeyang, not only is he going to tell Chanhee, but he’ll also risk his ass to come up too despite being the least fit to confront a killer out of the four of us,” Sanghyuk rambled, gesturing to the clothes in Youngkyun’s arms before grabbing his and Chanhee’s black regular face masks off of the hooks. He pulled his around his ears, tugging it just over his chin, before tossing the extra one in Youngkyun’s direction. “Do you really want Taeyang to come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You still assume </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to come,” Youngkyun pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m going whether you come with me or not, so it’s your choice,” Sanghyuk told him, grabbing his gloves off of the bedside table and slipping them on quickly. Of course Youngkyun wouldn’t leave him alone to go there all by himself, and it was mental manipulation to make it seem like Youngkyun had any choice. Of course, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> his choice to make, but Sanghyuk already knew what he would decide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk made Youngkyun drive as he situated the computer on his lap. He had his mask tucked over his chin, gloves now sitting on the dashboard, and combat boots snug around his feet. He typed away on the computer, holding a small flashlight in between his teeth to avoid turning on the inside car lights, which would ultimately just distract Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had left without telling anyone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing with your server?” Youngkyun asked as he drove, his eyes flickering over to Sanghyuk as he worked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Finding out every single person related to my gangs that works or lives anywhere near Wonchang-Dong,” Sanghyuk mumbled, changing windows to an open document so he could take notes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to warn them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Sanghyuk mumbled, typing out the name of the first person. “If they catch him, perfect. If they don’t… then we’ll just meet him at Wonchang-Dong. Hopefully, though, we won’t need to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride was only half an hour, but it felt so much longer as Sanghyuk looked into every person and typed with several people, constantly building the stress on his shoulders. Every name that was added to his list felt like another responsibility for him. One of them was probably going to be attacked tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are your final verdicts?” Youngkyun asked, pulling down another road as they approached Wonchang-Dong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s six,” Sanghyuk began. “Im Byungho, Kim Hyungmin, Kim Jaehwa, Park Jungwoo, Chu Kwangseon, and Kwon Kyungtae. Those are the only people it could be, but that’s still too many for us to predict who Ae was trying to kill six days ago. So… the best I can do is warn them and hope us waiting at Wonchang-Dong will be for nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The site wasn’t exactly pleasant. Of course, Sanghyuk was sure it looked much more appealing in the daylight with seagulls flying above it, people bustling about, and noises covering the terrifying crash of waves against the port side. Yup… the Xang site in Wonchang-Dong was a port site, right against the Yellow Sea which eventually led straight out to the Pacific Ocean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The site was dark, no bright light illuminating any area of the site and instead leaving it drenched in complete darkness. The unfinished metal frame of the new building towered into the air, dwindling to nothing but standing metal rods in a way that seemed too similar to the smashed body of a broken wine bottle, left with nothing but sharp edges of glass. It was just a dark frame against the night sky, though. Freight containers and large dumpsters lined the edges of the huge property, some standing right in the middle, left open to just sit there. They stood huge compared to Sanghyuk and Youngkyun, towering over everything like gargoyles watching over a castle, only much less animalistic and much more towering. They cast huge shadows over the already dark property, hiding what little could be seen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The property was expansive, extending far enough that if Sanghyuk stood in the dead center of the flattest part, he would feel too exposed to not look around in every direction. The ground was packed down dirt, peddles scattered everywhere and dust ready to puff into the air with a single step. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wind blew harshly around them, making the already cold fall night air even more cold. Sanghyuk had brought black jackets to match their attire, but they didn’t do much to help. Even with gloves on, Sanghyuk was left with the tips of his fingers feeling cold and numb after a while. His cheeks felt pricked by the outside wind, so much so that he was forced to tug his mask up higher on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to take it?” Youngkyun asked, looking down at the mask in Sanghyuk’s hands. The black Xs stood out against the bright white, even in the dark where it was dimmed to nothing but a faded grey. Sanghyuk held the mask gingerly in his hands as he bounced from foot to foot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” he finally decided, dropping the mask down into the trunk of the car, which was parked far off to the side, in the shadow of a freight container. “Ae wants Dawon to find him because he’s not scared of him or whatever. I want Ae to see the anger in my face when I find him,” Sanghyuk explained in a low voice, quickly attaching the smoke bombs to his belt before clipping it around his waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The belt didn’t stay on for long. With the belt tied around his waist, it became uncomfortable to crouch or sit, so eventually Sanghyuk just unclipped it and left it at his side on the ground with the rope and security clips he also brought with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun and Sanghyuk didn’t stay together as they waited. Sanghyuk stayed near the main entrance of the site while Youngkyun stayed closer to a secondary entrance near the side. They had ear pieces on, though, Youngkyun obviously taking Chanhee’s. Sanghyuk insisted they wear them to communicate with each other, but so far, after two hours of just sitting and waiting, they hadn’t said a single word to each other. Sanghyuk felt like his throat was too tight to speak, just waiting for someone to come. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He crouched for as long as he could, but now he was just laying belly down on top of a freight container that was entirely cast in a shadow from the building beside him. He blended in with the dark almost too perfectly. Every now and then he rubbed his hands together in an attempt to make them just a bit warmer, because even though it was chilly at first, he could definitely feel the cold even more now that he had been sitting in it for a few hours. It pricked harder at his cheeks and ears, burning into any skin it could find as the wind blew around him, taking advantage of the shadows as if they could somehow be any colder than the rest of the property. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost eleven at night,” Youngkyun mumbled quietly into his microphone, so quietly that Sanghyuk almost mistook it for the wind. “Maybe someone else caught him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have my server alerts on and connected to my ear piece. If anyone sends me an important alert, I’ll know,” Sanghyuk mumbled, almost afraid to speak too loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then maybe we were wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or maybe you need to shut the fuck up and wait for a little while longer,” Sanghyuk hissed at him, sighing as he adjusted how he sat on his arms again, focusing his eyes to scan the entrance. “It’s only been two hours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the three hour mark had come, even Sanghyuk was feeling tired. His body hurt from staying still for such long periods of time, and he was still cold. If he had known sitting outside for three hours by the sea would make the wind around him so frigid, he would have at least brought hand warmers. What the fuck was he thinking? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he moved to adjust his position again, he heard a crackling noise. He froze in his spot, opening his mouth to ask Youngkyun what that was, assuming it came from the earpiece, but then his eyes locked on movement in the corner of his vision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s head lowered slowly to the container as he watched with intent focus as someone entered properly from around a fence. He didn’t go through the main entrance, but he was still pretty close to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk watched him carefully, noticing that the crackling didn’t come from his shoes on the dirt, but rather the black sheet he dragged behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was heading toward the back of the property.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, without making a sound, Sanghyuk backed up towards the edge of the freight container he laid on, quickly but carefully climbing down the ladder and dropping to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ae is on the property,” Sanghyuk hissed into his microphone in the lowest voice he could possibly manage. “At the main entrance. Heading back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t a fucking joke, right?” Youngkyun hissed into the microphone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> would I joke about this?” Sanghyuk hissed back, quickly moving around the freight container on his toes, spotting Ae is ease. He wore all black, a mask over his face and a black hat covering his hair. “He has a body,” Sanghyuk hissed into the microphone, swiftly moving behind another container and moving around it in complete silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Youngkyun hissed from the other end. “I’m coming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Radio silence as I approach,” Sanghyuk whispered, peeking around the freight container again. Ae still tugged the body behind him, not even making an effort to be quiet anymore as he grunted from the effort it took. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I just dump you in the water this time?” Ae asked out loud, Sanghyuk assumed to the dead body he pulled behind him. His voice sounded decently young, not cracked with age or strain. “It would be much easier for Anon if you weren’t found, but I think Anon wants you to be found,” he continued, reaching over his shoulder to hit his back with his fist, as if trying to release the tension in his shoulders while still pulling a body behind him. “Ugh, I can’t tell. He never tells me what he wants anymore, he just assumes I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So… Ae worked for Anon? Or was Anon his accomplice? Who the fuck was Anon? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re one pain in the ass buddy,” he continued, heaving the body behind him as Sanghyuk began moving again, working his way around another container to get closer to Ae. He had a decent build, wide shoulders but a thin waist. He was clearly built with work, but Sanghyuk had no way to guess what forms of martial arts he was trained in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just had to get a little bit closer. If he got close enough, he could ambush Ae without giving him the chance to run. But the problem was the freight containers didn’t get close enough until they were right by the water edge. Was Ae really going to dump the body? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk continued following him, almost running into Youngkyun behind the containers and giving himself a heart attack mid-ambush. He quickly moved around Youngkyun, glaring at him quickly before gesturing for him to follow him as he continued to move in the shadows. Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to follow him, pulling his mask up just a bit higher on his face as he moved behind Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ae was clearly heading toward the water now, and Sanghyuk struggled to find good ways to get there. In between containers would be exposed patches he had to work around, constantly struggling to keep an eye on Ae as he continued dragging the body behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was almost running out of breath just from trying so hard at this point, but he was able to get by without Ae noticing, Youngkyun right behind him as he moved behind another container, this one almost bordering the water’s edge. He would have to really surprise Ae to get him down, and it would be hard. But whatever, Sanghyuk had fought Jaeyoon more times than he could count, and he fought other people before, too. He was trained in a mix of martial arts from gangsters and thugs, and he had been in plenty of situations at least kind of similar to this. He would be fine. Yeah, he could do this. Everything was fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If Anon wants you to be found then that’ll really suck,” Ae mumbled to himself, pulling the black sheet with one last heave before dropping it completely to the ground. “I’m done trying to hide you guys in shitty places. Dawon is catching on, and I don’t want his ass finding me because Anon likes to make a presentation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun tapped Sanghyuk on the shoulder, furrowing his eyebrows at him. Sanghyuk just waved him off, pulling his earpiece out and shoving it in Youngkyun’s hands. Youngkyun didn’t know how to fight, so he was here more for support than anything. The least he could do was make sure Sanghyuk’s earpiece didn’t get lost, because that shit was beyond expensive and programmed with everything in his system. Losing it would be worse than… well, almost anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head at Sanghyuk, but honestly, what did he really think the plan was this whole time? They were just going to watch Ae and observe him? Absolutely not. Sanghyuk moved quietly, stepping on his toes as he moved around to the edge of the container. This was it. This was the part where he attacked Ae. He had this. Everything was going to be fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s too bad nobody will ever find you… I hope,” Ae spoke to the body, and within seconds Sanghyuk realized he had left his belt and supplies by the first freight he had waited at. What a stupid fucking idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Ae reached down to grab hold of the sheet again, Sanghyuk started moving out into the open. The cold wind pricked at his skin as he moved into the open, and if Ae just turned around, he would be able to see him. This was the man that had killed ten… no, eleven of his boys. He killed them and fucked with Xang. And all the proof Sanghyuk needed was standing right in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had jumped before he had even processed how close he was, wrapping his arms around Ae’s neck and tugging his downward to the ground. Ae reacted immediately, swinging his elbow back and into Sanghyuk’s ribs. Sanghyuk grunted from the pain, swinging his whole body and pulling Ae down to the ground with him. He slammed Ae’s head into the ground as hard as he could, but the guy barely seemed fazed as he reached up to grab Sanghyuk by the hair, pulling him down too. Ae rolled quickly with a yell, pulling himself on top of Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk jabbed his knee up before Ae could get in the perfect position, pushing him off and then grabbing his shoulders, pushing him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved quickly, pushing himself forward to grab Ae’s shoulders again to slam him into the ground. Ae rolled away from him quickly, pulling himself to his feet. Sanghyuk was just as quick, rolling into a standing position and holding his hands out in front of him. Ae, apparently, wasn’t one to run away, which was good, because Sanghyuk hated running. He threw a punch at Sanghyuk, which was easily dodgeable, and Sanghyuk moved instead to aim at his head, distracting him only to knee him in the gut instead. Ae grunted and rolled onto the ground, and just as Sanghyuk moved to pin him down, Ae kicked his foot up, knocking Sanghyuk off his own feet and onto the ground. Ae tried to get on top of him next, but Sanghyuk didn’t give him the chance to, kicking out at him harshly. He kicked him in the chest first, but then Ae caught his ankle in his hands. He moved to bend Sanghyuk’s leg upside down, turning his whole body with it, and as he moved to pin Sanghyuk down, he threw his elbow back, knocking Ae back. He reached around quickly, smashing him in the side of the head with his locked fist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk struggled for a chance to breathe as he jumped back up to his feet, trying to move to kick at Ae so he could really knock him down, but Ae had already rolled out of his way, back up on his feet and glaring Sanghyuk down in a nasty way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved forward first, throwing a punch at Ae which he easily dodged. Ae threw one just as easily at him, and Sanghyuk barely managed to block that one before jumping out of the way to avoid his kick. He didn’t hesitate to spin around, kicking his leg out. He landed a hit on Ae, but his stance held too strong, and he was on Sanghyuk just as easily as before. He threw a punch at him, landing on his face with a nasty burst of pain just as Sanghyuk threw his elbow back, feeling the contact with Ae’s jaw. Sanghyuk spun around quickly, wrapping his arm around Ae’s neck and putting himself behind him before he could maneuver himself out of the position. Without warning, Sanghyuk kicked back, pulling all of his and Ae’s weight down with him as he fell to the ground. His back stung horribly from the pain as he landed, but he held his arm tightly around Ae’s neck pulling back as hard as he could to at least knock Ae down a few notches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ae, it seemed, was experienced in being in a chokehold. He tucked his chin, grabbing Sanghyuk’s arm and sliding his head underneath it, twisting Sanghyuk’s arm back in less than a second and pushing him chest down onto the ground. Ae was up on his feet before Sanghyuk could recover, delivering a blow to his stomach. Sanghyuk winced and coughed at the pain, grabbing Ae’s ankle at the next chance he got, using it as almost a ladder to pull himself up. He got just high enough to  grab Ae’s wrist, and as he pressed down on the toe of Ae’s shoe and tugged down on his wrist, he flipped him over completely, heaving from the effort it took. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was able to throw his fist at Ae one more time before Ae managed to get a hold on Sanghyuk’s shoulder, pinning him down and quickly smashing his knuckles against his face. He could feel the blood before he could taste it, fighting the urge to reach up and pull down his mask to let him breathe. He could only breathe through his mouth now, suffocated by the fabric of the mask and the blood filling his nose, but it was hard to breath when all the air was knocked out of his lungs by another blow to the stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk spun around quickly, grabbing Ae’s shoulders as he made the mistake of leaning too far forward, and pulling himself up, smashing his knee into his gut. Ae grunted from the pain, and stumbled back, giving Sanghyuk the room to pull himself back to his feet. Just as Sanghyuk did, Ae came running at him, wrapping his arms around his waist and slamming him backwards with the full force of his body. Sanghyuk was stumbling backwards before he could find his footing, and as he tried to find it again, he felt his feet leaving the ground completely, his body falling backwards with Ae. He barely had the time to take a breath of air before he felt it: the cold numbing pain of being surrounded by frigid water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It rushed over his body like a wave of cold needles pricking into his skin all at once, every sense around him vanishing as his body struggled to adjust to the sudden burst of cold. Everything felt weightless as he kicked out with no effect, his numb fingers, concealed by his leather gloves and rendered almost completely senseless, struggled to grasp onto anything noticeable. He felt Ae’s arms leave his body, and within seconds Sanghyuk was reaching out for him again, kicking to force himself up to the surface of the water as his ears were flooded with the sounds of both of them struggling to reach the surface before the other. Sanghyuk grabbed onto something, he wasn’t sure what, and pulled down as hard as he could. A hand came in contact with his face weakly through the restraint of the water, fingers curling into his hair and pulling roughly. Sanghyuk fought the urge to scream out as he flipped himself over in the water, maneuvering his foot between him and Ae to push away as hard as he could, pulling Ae’s fingers from his slippery hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was quiet, almost silent except for the echo of the water smashing against the walls of the land, as Sanghyuk struggled to swim to the surface, He kicked his legs underneath him, pushing his arms above him as he completely forgot about Ae, only knowing how little air he had left in his lungs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With one last push, he felt gravity finally pulling back down on him, the cold wind nipping at his skin again as he pushed himself above the water. He gasped for breath as soon as he was sure his head was above water, instantly gagging and choking as the mask, hanging around his ears, blocked his airway. The wet material was sucked between his lips with that one simple gasp, and it felt like being waterboarded as he choked for air. His head dipped below the surface of the water again as he reached up with his gloved hand, roughly ripping the mask away and discarding it in the water as he gasped for air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cold air filled his lungs all at once, his body shivering in pain from the cold that surrounded him as the waves pushed him around. He gasped for air again before his head dipped under the water from the waves again. He pushed himself up quickly, blinking the water from his eyes to look around, but everything was dark and anytime he was looking around for too long, he was swallowed by the waves again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself up again, gasping for more air and pushing himself forward through the water, but he didn’t get very far before he felt a hand gripping the sleeve of his shirt, slamming him harshly into the wall lining the small ledge they had both fallen from. Sanghyuk felt his back being slammed into the cold metal, making his whole body sting even worse as he grabbed onto Ae’s shoulders roughly. He tried to pull his hands away, but just as he moved to reach for Ae’s wrists, another wave slammed them both harshly into the metal siding. Sanghyuk gasped for air as soon as he resubmerged, reaching out for Ae and quickly pushing him down under the water with every effort he could without even opening his eyes. Ae fought against him, but Sanghyuk just kept pushing him down relentlessly. He gasped for breath at every chance he got, coughing when his mouth was filled with salty water from the waves instead, determined not to give Ae that chance. Ae continued  to tug at his clothing, trying to pull him down with him, and it would be a lie to say it didn’t work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was constantly pulled under the surface of the water, pushing himself back up by pushing Ae further down, and just as Sanghyuk was struggling to feel his own fingers under the water, he felt a hand pushing him harshly back. He felt so exhausted, barely registering it as he was pushed away from Ae. He let it happen, hauling Ae to the surface of the water and allowing him the chance to breathe. He coughed violently when he came to the surface, water spewing from his mouth as he struggled to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried desperately to stabilize himself by holding onto the metal as best he could, but every time he thought he was okay, another wave came and sunk him under the surface or smashed him into the metal wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Help me get him up!” Youngkyun called to him, and Sanghyuk pushed aside all thoughts of himself as he let the waves guide him over to Ae, grabbing onto his waist as Youngkyun grabbed his arms, pushing him over the ledge while Youngkyun pulled him up. It didn’t matter that Sanghyuk was pushed under the cold waves again as he tried to get him up, his whole body beginning to go completely numb as he struggled to really feel any part of himself. He couldn’t remember getting Ae fully up and back on land, but the next thing he knew, Youngkyun’s hands were around his wrists, pulling him up while Sanghyuk did his best to climb the metal wall, fingers bracing against the material though he couldn’t feel it as he felt like his body was dropping to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His arms curled into himself instantly, shivering as he struggled to keep his jaw from twitching in the cold. He felt like he couldn’t open his eyes, his whole body shaking from the pain of the cold wind eating at his skin and the water coating every inch of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, come on,” Youngkyun urged him, grabbing his arm and pulling him up to his feet, but Sanghyuk couldn’t find it in himself to stand on his own, barely able to breathe regularly. His breaths came in short bursts, begging for air to fill his lungs which felt three sizes smaller than before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I ca- can’t- I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He, shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. Just… just a little cold. It’s okay. Come on. You need to stand,” Youngkyun urged him, but Sanghyuk wasn’t sure he could. His body felt completely frozen the way it was, unable to move. “You did it. You got him. But now we need to get out of here, okay? You’re going to freeze if we stay here so… so please move,” Youngkyun begged him, moving his hands to hold onto the sides of his face, which he only knew from the sudden burn of warm skin against his face, though he couldn’t really imagine Youngkyun felt warm. Maybe it only felt that way to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pri- pricks,” Ae spat behind them, and that was all it took to get Sanghyuk up. He was up on his feet in a second, stumbling just far enough to reach Ae and swing his fist across his face before falling back down to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that’s enough,” Youngkyun told him, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back. “You’ve almost drowned him, okay? He’s down. He’s done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck- fucking.. .pri- prick. Fucking... pri- prick,” Sanghyuk stuttered through his quivering jaw, glaring at the man laying on the ground in front of him as he wrapped his freezing and wet arms around himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, holding his hands in front of the heaving vents again as he tried to keep his fingers warm. The heat in the car was blasting. Youngkyun had taken his jacket off a while ago, sweating while Sanghyuk still struggled to regain every bit of body heat he had lost to the sea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nobody had spoken since Youngkyun carried both of them to the car, pulling Sanghyuk out of his wet clothes and into spare clothes stored in the trunk. Ae didn’t get the same privilege, instead being given a dirty towel Youngkyun found on the property, only for the purpose of Ae not dripping all over Sanghyuk’s car seats. Ae didn’t argue, however, choosing to simply accept the fact and do his best with it. Youngkyun sat in the driver’s seat, controlling the heat, while Sanghyuk sat curled up in the passenger seat. Ae was shoved in the back seat, doors and windows locked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you Kim Youngkyun?” Ae finally asked, his voice nothing above a small mumble. Sanghyuk could hear him rubbing his hands together for warmth, but he chose not to turn around and look. The sight of the man disgusted him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With his mask off, Sanghyuk could see Ae was a man of about the same age as him. His hair was cut really short, but still long enough to not be considered a buzz cut. Personally, Sanghyuk thought it was kind of an awkward length. He had stubble on his chin and bright brown, almost yellow eyes, which struck Sanghyuk as a bit interesting for an assassin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Youngkyun answered curtly, looking to Sanghyuk again quickly before adjusting the setting on the heat with a quick motion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you are,” Ae told him quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why did you ask?” Youngkyun asked in return, his voice confident and strong as he reached over to grab Sanghyuk’s hands, feeling the temperature before moving them back in front of the heater himself. Sanghyuk didn’t really feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> cold anymore, but maybe it was only because he had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> cold before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To see if you would lie to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t pretend you have some upper hand right now,” Sanghyuk told him quickly, pulling his hands away from the heater to spin around and face Ae with a hard expression. “He lied to you. Deal with it. You’re literally locked in the back seat of my car. You have nothing, so don’t pretend like you have anything.” Sanghyuk scoffed at him, letting his eyes look over his still soaking wet body before spinning back around in his seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I suppose you’re Dawon then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk almost let his shoulders tense from the accusation, but he forced himself not to change the way he sat in his seat. How the fuck could Ae possibly know that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I look like Dawon to you?” Sanghyuk asked in the most relaxed way he could manage. He put his hands back in front of the heater, shivering as the heat covered the surface of his skin again. “Do I have his complexion? His eye color?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re definitely Dawon to be such a cocky bastard,” Ae mumbled at him, and all Sanghyuk could do to respond to that was lift his eyebrows up in amusement to nobody but himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, genuinely curious as he turned his hands over in front of the heater. “Also… how did you know the names and schedules of my boys? I’m a little curious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you and what you want to know,” Ae spat at him. Sanghyuk couldn’t help himself but smile sadistically at Ae’s words. He was in the mood to play with his food anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without warning, Sanghyuk moved himself to climb over the center console, crawling into the back seat as Ae stared at him with wide eyes, backing up against the door. Sanghyuk had his hands around the collar of Ae’s wet shirt in seconds, straddling him and pushing him harshly against the door with his teeth bared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you think I was asking?” Sanghyuk asked, shoving him a little harder. “Because let me tell you something </span>
  <em>
    <span>bastard</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Eleven of my guys died because of you. Eleven. And I’m beyond pissed. And this is the funny part, ready? I ultimately decide what happens with you, so you should refrain from pissing me off any more and just tell me what I fucking want,” he ranted, pushing Ae back and moving over to the other side of the back seat, waiting for him to answer the question he wasn’t going to ask twice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ae moved his hand up to his neck, carefully rubbing at it. “I shouldn’t have listened. I should have just gone to another site. I knew the second you showed up at that bar that you were onto me,” Ae spat at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun,” Sanghyuk called, his lips turning into a smile as Youngkyun watched the whole scene play out behind him. “Did I not just fucking say he should stop pissing me off? And here he is…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get back in the front seat,” Youngkyun told him quietly, unlocking the door behind him only long enough for him to open it and get out. He slammed the door behind him, Youngkyun locking it as Sanghyuk got back in his own seat. As Sanghyuk resituated himself, Youngkyun turned to look over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck Anon,” Ae mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck is Anon?” Sanghyuk asked, turning around just like Youngkyun did to face him. “Your boss?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess so,” Ae mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guess so? Did he or did he not hire you to kill people for him? Or are you two accomplices?” Youngkyun asked, furrowing his brows as he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He hired me,” Ae confirmed in a low voice, still refusing to look at them. “I never met him. He sent me the list of names over a concealed server, so I never heard his voice either. He paid me a shit ton of money for each body, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He just sent you a list?” Youngkyun asked, his eyes going wide. “So did you really just pick randomly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Expect for Minjun. He was more of a… practice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk about the victims like warm up rounds for a sports game again and I’ll throw you back into the sea and let you drown,” Sanghyuk threatened, biting his lip at the man. Ae just looked at him, quickly averting his eyes again. He didn’t respond, though. “So does Anon stand for anything specific, or is that all you ever knew him as? Do you have a name? A bank account number? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> useful?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anon stands for Anonymous,” Ae told him quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well no shit but who the fuck is Anonymous?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Youngkyun interrupted, his hand landing on Sanghyuk’s arm. “But… isn’t Jaeyoon’s sponsor called Anonymous?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “Yeah but why would-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon’s sponsor was called Anonymous. They had said back at the start of everything that the only person that could possibly know so much about Sanghyuk’s gangs was Jaeyoon, or someone close to him. If Anon was Jaeyoon’s Anonymous, that explained the connection. It explained why the victims were all related to Dawon, and how someone knew who to target.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you think Anonymous would do that?” Youngkyun asked, raising his eyebrows at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling. “I don’t… I don’t know Anonymous. Jaeyoon never left any clues to figure out who he was. There’s no traces left behind, and Jaeyoon takes care of him well. I’ve never been able to find him, not that I ever tried very hard. So… so I don’t know Anonymous. I have no idea,” he confessed, turning to look up at Youngkyun. He turned to Ae next. “Did Anon tell you how to kill them? Did he give you instructions to drop them off at Xang sites? What restraints did he give you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wanted them all dropped at Xang sites. He said that would make it personal. But as far as I know… nobody knows you’re related to Xang,” Ae mumbled, biting his lip as he finished that part of what he had to say. “I’m actually quite shocked. But uhm, he wanted them poisoned, too. It was his request-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why they all had needle pricks?” Youngkyun asked, blinking at him. “Because Anonymous wanted that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Poison,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling, grabbing onto Youngkyun’s arm and looking up to him quickly. “He… he wanted them poisoned before he killed them. Doesn’t that… doesn’t that sound familiar to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned to face Ae with narrowed eyes, no further explanation needed. “Did you start the fire at my house?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No!” Ae told them quickly, shaking his head. “I thought- well, I mean… I thought Dawon did that, but I guess since you guys are best friends that doesn’t make any sense. But it wasn’t me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if it was still Anonymous?” Sanghyuk asked, shifting in his seat to more directly face Youngkyun. “What if Anonymous was responsible for both? It connects!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t explain how he knows you and I are connected, though,” Youngkyun pointed out, turning to face Sanghyuk too. “We’ve been very careful about it. Taeyang doesn’t even-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your husband doesn’t know you’re best friends with Dawon? And your company publicly supports Jaeyoon? Oh jeez,” Ae commented, actually laughing to himself. Youngkyun closed his eyes and cursed under his breath as he realized his mistake. “Trouble in your marriage?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Youngkyun hissed at him over the back of the seat. He turned back to Sanghyuk quickly. “I think… we should start looking into Anonymous. Maybe, after all these years, we should focus on finding out who he is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great. Another mystery. This is turning into fucking Scooby Doo,” Sanghyuk mumbled, dropping his hands into his lap with a sigh. “We have Ae over here, Inseong’s situation, my copycat, and now Anonymous. This is just getting better every day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let Taeyang and I handle Anonymous,” Youngkyun proposed, tilting his head to the side as he raised his eyebrows. “We can look into it for you. It’ll even be less suspicious since Jaeyoon will be focused on you. That way you can focus on catching your copycat, helping Inseong, and still being Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… think Taeyang will just agree to look into Anonymous? Because, no offense Kyun, but Taeyang is infatuated with Jaeyoon. They’re like best friends. And how do you expect to tell him? ‘Hey I just went on a road trip to Wonchang-Dong with my best pal Dawon and we found out from a serial murderer that Jaeyoon’s anonymous sponsor Anonymous might have a murder kink, so we need to look into it </span>
  <em>
    <span>without</span>
  </em>
  <span> telling Jaeyoon!’ Yeah, that’ll go over well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? And what do you expect to tell Taeyang and Inseong about what you’re doing all the way up in Wonchang-Dong? Especially if you intend to turn Ae in as Dawon. How are you going to explain that, huh?” Youngkyun challenged, clearly not realizing how much his problem that was as Sanghyuk until he finished speaking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have an idea,” Ae offered from the back seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nobody wants to hear your idea,” Sanghyuk told him quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you don’t have any ideas!” Youngkyun challenged, sticking his chin up. “Coming here was a last minute impulse decision!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just lie,” Ae told them, shutting them both up. “Say you came here to solve the issue yourselves but Dawon got here at the same time and took care of it. It shouldn’t be that hard to imagine, you already made a scene at the gambling den as Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I distinctly remember telling you I didn’t want to hear your idea,” Sanghyuk spoke quietly, raising his eyebrows like it was a pure mystery as to why he was still giving his opinion despite the fact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And tell Taeyang you want to look into it before telling Jaeyoon, because if you tell Jaeyoon then Anonymous might catch on, and it’ll ruin everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re still talking… unbelievable,” Sanghyuk mumbled, staring with an exasperated expression and slack jaw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned to face Sanghyuk shyly, curling up his shoulders. “It’s a good idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked quickly between Youngkyun and Ae before sinking down in his seat with a whine, moaning like a little child. “Do we have to listen to the serial murderer?!”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. You Won't Lose Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please make sure you've read the tags before reading this chapter! There is a flashback scene with self harm in it at one point, and I don't want anyone to be shocked.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I liked Ae better,” Chanhee grumbled with a pout, staring at the ground as he walked. “Kim Manseok just sounds stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had to agree, he also liked the name ‘Ae’ much better than Manseok. They had heard it on the news yesterday when reports came out about the arrest of one Kim Manseok for murdering all eleven victims found at Xang sites. Credit, of course, went to Dawon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the end, Sanghyuk had been so annoyed by Ae’s presence that he simply decided to tie him to the building, using several clips, ropes, and locks to make sure he absolutely could not get away. Youngkyun had suggested tipping off the police, but Sanghyuk was brutal. He left Ae, now Manseok, out there to freeze all night until the workers came in the next day, finding not only Manseok, but the body of Kim Jaehwa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had certainly started a frenzy. News stations became close to delirious screaming about Dawon to the point where Taeyang and Youngkyun agreed to cancel their interview until things calmed down. Jaeyoon, on the other hand, hadn’t been nearly as lucky. He couldn’t get away from the news right now, and anyone could tell it was beginning to tick him off a bit how he was hounded about the ‘New Dawon’ as people called him. Dawon wasn’t new, though, they were just blind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One news station put out a new poll, asking the same question about the fire they had before. This time, 76% of the people voted that Dawon didn’t start the fire. People made signs, standing out in the side to get Jaeyoon or the government to stop painting Dawon as a villain. News stations wrote article after article supporting Dawon and asking him to reveal himself. It was a movement all across Seoul and huge chunks of other surrounding districts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was incredible that the news had come out just yesterday. Youngkyun expected Sanghyuk to be in a happy mood because of it, anticipating his smile when he heard how many people were supporting him. Of course, Sanghyuk was sick now because of the freezing temperatures he endured yesterday, but Youngkyun could still tell he wasn’t happy about it. Chanhee was ecstatic. Chanhee, after scolding Sanghyuk relentlessly and screaming at him for about two hours straight, had begun talking about the bright side of everything after hearing the news. Chanhee was nearly bubbling with excitement because of it, only having complaints against Manseok for obvious reasons. But Sanghyuk wasn’t happy with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried to smile whenever it was brought up, and he played along with Chanhee, but he wasn’t into it. He just wasn’t happy about it, and Youngkyun couldn’t figure out why. Sanghyuk just looked deflated, both mentally and physically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, maybe it was because Chanhee had scolded him so roughly. While Chanhee had screamed and yelled at Sanghyuk, smacking his shoulders until he listened and understood how angry he was, Taeyang had just cried at Youngkyun. It had been quite the event. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they arrived home in a soaking wet car, all they found was Chanhee holding his head in his hands, hunched over on the couch, while Taeyang paced back and forth across the room. When they walked in, the first thing Chanhee did was scream at them, but Taeyang just ran up and threw his arms around Youngkyun, bursting into tears as he yelled at him for leaving like that and not telling him. He screamed until his voice was nearly gone, just like Chanhee had, but unlike Chanhee, Taeyang had actually stopped when his throat felt sore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were all fine now, though. Youngkyun hoped, at least. They recounted this wild story to Taeyang about what happened, how they had gone to confront Ae and how Sanghyuk and him got into a fight, when Dawon showed up and pulled </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> Manseok out of the water. Sanghyuk and Youngkyun had left quickly after that, not wanting to be around Dawon just in case. Of course, Sanghyuk had told Chanhee what really happened later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, Manseok can’t get to anyone anymore,” Youngkyun assured them, slipping his hand into Taeyang’s. “He’s going away for a long fucking time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So even though Dawon technically caught Manseok, are you still gonna claim you’re the real hero, here?” Taeyang asked, nudging his arm against Sanghyuk’s as they walked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh? What?” Sanghyuk asked, bringing his head up with wide eyes. “Oh yeah. No, it was all me, obviously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was honestly the weakest attempt Youngkyun had ever seen at playing along, and Chanhee lifted his eyebrow up at Youngkyun from across the group as if to ask what was up with him, but Youngkyun had no idea. Personally, he was hoping Chanhee knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry you got sick, buddy,” Taeyang told him with a gentle smile, patting him on the shoulder. But Youngkyun knew Sanghyuk too well. It wasn’t because of a stupid cold that he was acting like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made it to the door of the cafe way sooner than Youngkyun expected, pulling open the door with a neat “Closed” sign hung on the front. Chanhee walked in first, followed by Sanghyuk and then Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where the fuck is he?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the voice, Sanghyuk quickly shrunk down to hide behind Chanhee, but it didn’t work. Inseong had already seen him and was already marching over in his direction. Within seconds, Inseong was standing in front of Chanhee, reaching around him for Sanghyuk’s wrist and pulling him out from behind the smaller boy. Sanghyuk shied away, but that didn’t stop Inseong from pulling Sanghyuk into his arms, wrapping him in a big hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not gonna yell at me like everyone else did?” Sanghyuk mumbled, clearly shocked by Inseong’s hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a fucking idiot you fucking dumbass. Shithead stupid fucking moron,” Inseong cursed, his voice muffled as he buried in head in Sanghyuk’s shoulder. Within seconds, Sanghyuk was huffing in small laughs, wrapping his arms around Inseong in return. “Asshole,” Inseong continued. “You’re a shitty friend. You’re a bad person.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Continue,” Sanghyuk prompted, almost laughing through his words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You suck. You’re the worst. I hate you. Why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> would you try to catch a killer?” Inseong asked, pulling away from him and jabbing his finger at his chest. “You didn’t even tell your own brother! You went all alone without any help and nobody even knew you were there! What the fuck were you thinking?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine though, aren’t I?” Sanghyuk asked gently, opening his arms like he was giving Inseong the chance to examine him completely. His lips curved up into a smile as Inseong began scanning him with a completely serious expression, brows furrowed as he looked for a way to prove Sanghyuk wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re sick,” Inseong pointed out. “And Taeyang said you almost drowned because you got into a fight. Your nose is bruised, and your knuckles are all scraped up. What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You rat,” Youngkyun sneered at Taeyang with a smile, nudging him in the side even with their hands still entwined. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In my defense Taeyang is an overdramatic cry baby and sea water tastes great. I can confirm,” Sanghyuk told him, smiling and almost laughing again as Inseong collapsed into him with another whine, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even seem concerned that he was in the same place as Dawon,” Taeyang commented with a light laugh. “I almost shit myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh what a pleasant thing to picture,” Youngkyun mumbled under his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next time Dawon kidnaps me I’ll just thank him for being there and making you get the fuck out of there before you could do anything else stupid,” Inseong mumbled, tucking his head further into Sanghyuk’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Sanghyuk said, grabbing Inseong’s wrists and pulling him out of the hug so he could see his face. “Next time?! You </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon to kidnap you again?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said I want him too,” Inseong denied, blinking innocently at him. “But I just anticipate it happening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you scared of Dawon?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow in his direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Why would I be?” Inseong asked, as if he didn’t see any reason why anyone would dislike Dawon. “After all, the public gives him too much shit. I think he deserves a break.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are the first person I’ve ever seen so avidly take Dawon’s side until… well, recently,” Chanhee mentioned from behind Sanghyuk. “Any reason why, considering you have every right to hate him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he never did anything to hurt me,” Inseong explained, almost like it was a popular opinion and he had no idea why everyone else was so confused. “I don’t think he attacked you guys, or even blew up Wonhyo bridge. I think he just gets too much unnecessary shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, me too,” Sanghyuk confessed, pulling him back into a hug. “But can I still work today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” Inseong denied instantly, pulling back from the hug with a stern expression. “You can go home and take a nap though!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already missed so much work when I was in the hospital, though! This is just a cold!” Sanghyuk complained like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum. “And you close the cafe when I’m not working, now, so suck it up and let me work!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re sick, so why would I let you touch the food?” Inseong challenged, shrugging with his hands on his hips as he gestured with his chin to the kitchen behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk begged, quickly grabbing his hand. “Please? Please. Pretty please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Consider it payback for going to Wonchang-dong like a fucking idiot,” Inseong told him, pulling his hand away with a smirk. “You can come back to work when you’re feeling better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see the way Sanghyuk stopped moping when Inseong hugged him?” Chanhee asked, swinging his hands as he walked. It seemed like the boy had been waiting all day to ask that, mostly because Taeyang hadn’t left their presence until about ten minutes ago. He had a meeting to go to with Xang, so Youngkyun stayed out with Chanhee. They had left Sanghyuk back at the cafe in Inseong’s presence hours ago, leaving them to do whatever they wanted. Clearly, according to Inseong, that wouldn’t include any kind of work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see the way he couldn’t even pull his head up before then?” Youngkyun retorted, sighing heavily as he wrapped his arms around himself. Nothing could be colder than the port site, but he was still cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get it,” Chanhee began to ramble. “I mean… you-know-who is finally getting attention for being good!” Youngkyun nodded, looking around to passing people as they continued walking down the streets, side by side. “Why isn’t he happy about it at all? He looks so depressed about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he just doesn’t want to be viewed as a hero,” Youngkyun suggested, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, Taeyang referred to Sanghyuk himself being a hero and he barely got himself together enough to answer. Maybe he just doesn’t want it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand why,” Chanhee said with a sigh, kicking at the pavement. “It’s his </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And finally people are viewing it in a positive light. I mean… all this time he has gone around solving other people’s crimes, fighting for human rights, defending himself, and standing up to trashy people in the media. Finally people are seeing him for who he really is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And who is he really?” Youngkyun asked, turning to face Chanhee as they walked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s my hero!” Chanhee told him easily, shrugging and quickly turning his face down to his feet. “I just wish other people would see him that way, and now that they finally are, he doesn’t like it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, people have been treating him like a villain his whole life,” Youngkyun pointed out, looking around him at the people walking by. Every single one of them probably had their own opinion on Dawon, formed with nothing but bias. It was no wonder Sanghyuk didn’t like hearing their opinions. “Why would he want anything to change?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because hasn’t that been the goal all along?” Chanhee asked, looking up to face Youngkyun. “Be better and all that? Self improvement?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not to Sanghyuk,” Youngkyun suggested, pulling his lips into a thin line. “I mean, was there ever really a purpose to it all? It started when he was sixteen. That’s not exactly at the pinnacle of thinking for the future.” Chanhee didn’t respond, so Youngkyun took it upon himself to continue. “I mean… what if Sanghyuk never really had a purpose for it all? Think of it like a second identity for him. Have you noticed that most of his headaches happen whenever he’s stressed about being… you-know-who?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who hasn’t noticed that?” Chanhee mumbled, bringing his shoulders up as he sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how to express it,” Youngkyun confessed. “Just that maybe being a hero isn’t what he wants, you know? You-know-who is a part of him. That’s part of his identity now. So maybe he doesn’t like people twisting it into something it’s not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just wish he would talk to me,” Chanhee admitted with a pout. “He doesn’t tell me what he thinks about it all and it makes everything confusing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? I thought you two were telepathic,” Youngkyun joked, and it caused a small smile to appear on Chanhee’s lips, so he could at least consider it a small success. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… can I be honest for a second?” Chanhee asked, suddenly looking up to Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Youngkyun told him without hesitation, but he realized maybe he should have hesitated when Chanhee grabbed his wrist, pulling him into an alley and backing himself against a wall. “Chanhee…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to do,” Chanhee admitted quietly, pulling his hands up to run them through his hair. “I can tell Sanghyuk wants to put an end to Dawon, but I’m worried for him. Dawon is everything to him. You think he’ll be able to let that go? How is he supposed to live afterwards? You know it and I know it; he would destroy himself to put a proper end to Dawon if that’s what it took,” he ranted, his teeth scraping across his bottom lip in worry as he spewed off everything on his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know?” Youngkyun asked quietly, pulling his lips into a thin line again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did I know? How could I not? He started talking to Inseong because he wanted to put an end to Dawon. But… he’s… he’s messing it up. He wanted to put an end to it, but now he’s willing to mess it all up just to be Inseong’s friend? He’s not even thinking about the consequences of Jaeyoon finding out who he is, and he’s not even trying to keep it a secret anymore! At the beginning, it was just him and I and one rule, that he shouldn’t speak. But as of now, you know, Youngbin knows, Manseok knows, Taeyang will probably catch on within a few weeks, Inseong will become suspicious at this point, Jaeyoon will figure it out, and he talks to anyone just to make his point clear! He talked to both Inseong and some random counter tender as Dawon!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee slow down,” Youngkyun told him, not really following his process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just want him to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kyun,” Chanhee blurted out, hugging his arms around himself with a grimace. “He’s gone his whole life being hated on by the media, his family, and people he didn’t even know. He spent most of his life taking care of me, suffering every single one of the consequences so I didn’t have to. Dawon was his </span>
  <em>
    <span>escape</span>
  </em>
  <span> from the shitty life he has. That was Dawon’s original purpose. It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>game.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But it’s… it’s not a game anymore and it hasn’t been for a long time. And by the time Sanghyuk realized that, it was too late to back out. So… so now he’s spent even more of his life in a repeated cycle of how it started! People and media hate on him, he takes care of me, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want him to be happy then why don’t you just stop Dawon completely?” Youngkyun asked, trying to find a solution in the mess that Chanhee had just dumped on him. It was like sifting through a pile of identical papers, looking for some way to tell them all apart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Sanghyuk would never be able to let it go,” Chanhee explained, finally looking up to Youngkyun. “Do you really think he’d ever be able to let it go if he didn’t give it a final end? You know he wouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is a good way to end it, though,” Youngkyun pointed out. “Dawon becomes a hero too! Shocking reveal, Dawon has always been a hero!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk doesn’t want to be a hero, you said it yourself,” Chanhee mumbled, dragging his eyes back down to the ground. “I think he wants to end Dawon in a way that doesn’t change who Dawon is… because again, Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sanghyuk, just as much as Sanghyuk is Dawon. If he changed Dawon’s identity… wouldn’t that also be trying to change Sanghyuk’s identity?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what’s the problem?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s getting distracted,” Chanhee mumbled. “Inseong makes him happy… and that’s fine. I can see it whenever they’re together. Inseong makes him happy, and like I said earlier, his life just isn’t happy. He’s clinging onto it. And I’m happy for him because I want him to be happy, but while he distracts himself with Inseong he’s tearing himself apart over Dawon. He’s getting sloppy, and when he messes up in a way he can’t take back, it’ll rip him apart. Something is bound to go wrong eventually and when it does and he can’t recover… I’m just scared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think will happen?” Youngkyun asked, placing his hand on Chanhee’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” Chanhee started, clearly struggling with how to say it. “I think Jaeyoon will find out… and I think he’ll lose Inseong.” Youngkyun opened his mouth to retort the idea that Sanghyuk would ever let that happen, but how could he when Chanhee was so right? Youngkyun knew it just as well as he did. Sanghyuk was tearing himself apart. “Youngkyun… Sanghyuk… right now… is trying to hold onto both Dawon and Inseong. But what happens if he ends up losing them both?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We won’t let that happen,” Youngkyun told him, moving forward and pulling Chanhee into his arms. Chanhee let himself fall into Youngkyun’s embrace easily, sinking into his chest. “We won’t let Sanghyuk destroy himself like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you do, please don’t tell Jaeyoon about Anonymous,” Chanhee begged suddenly, and Youngkyun could hear the way his voice stuffed up as he hid his face. “Please… we need this to end Dawon properly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you need?” Youngkyun asked, moving his hand to hold Chanhee’s head in the hug. “I promised I would start looking into Anonymous already. What do you need to make sure everything goes well? I’ll help. We’ll make sure everything goes okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to get evidence that Jaeyoon is abusing Inseong,” Chanhee told him, pulling back from the hug. “That’s how Sanghyuk wants to end Dawon. He wants to pull Jaeyoon down before putting Dawon to rest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First we need to be sure, though,” Youngkyun warned him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hence the part about getting evidence,” Chanhee told him with a small sniffle which he tried to conceal in his sleeve. “So… that’s what we need to focus on. That and Anonymous, because right now Anonymous is creating an annoying problem, and I think he knows too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In two days Taeyang and I will be holding a house party,” Youngkyun told him suddenly. “Jaeyoon and Inseong are going to be there together. I’ll do my best.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember, Kyun,” Chanhee told him, inhaling as he nodded. “Jaeyoon… can’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Even if that means not telling Taeyang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun hadn’t been able to sleep well since his conversation with Chanhee. Maybe it was because of the new bed, the new house, or the overlying fact that at any moment someone could try to kill them again. But Youngkyun knew it wasn’t any of that. It was the fact that it had been four whole days since him and Sanghyuk caught Manseok, and yet he still hadn’t told Taeyang about Anonymous having anything to do with the murders. It was the fact that he still didn’t know anything about Anonymous. And it was the fact that, after their conversation, Youngkyun had gone to his new home, only to turn on the TV to hear the news that Manseok was dead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nobody knew how it happened at first, only that Manseok had passed out and hadn’t woken up in his cell, and by the time anyone got to him, he had no pulse. Since then, however, they knew a lot more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Manseok hadn’t just passed out. He had been poisoned, and that was the most unsettling part to Youngkyun. He hadn’t called Chanhee or Sanghyuk about it, but all three of them seemed to understand who killed Manseok. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was just so stressful. Youngkyun had too much on his mind. He had to keep Dawon’s identity from Taeyang. He had to keep the secret about Anonymous being involved with the murders. He had to pretend he didn’t think Jaeyoon abused Inseong. He had to pretend he didn’t know Chanhee knew about Sanghyuk wanting to end Dawon. He had to pretend he himself didn’t know who Dawon was! He hated it. It was too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, hey,” Taeyang called, his fingers sliding over Youngkyun’s bare back as he hugged his face into his pillow, trying to hide himself. He tried not to breath like he was crying, but he couldn’t hide it very well. “Kyun, what’s wrong?” he asked, blinking away his sleep as he shifted in the bed, rubbing Youngkyun’s back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Youngkyun told him, sniffling into his pillow as he hugged it closer to himself. He didn’t want to keep things from Taeyang anymore, lying every time he took a breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, shhh,” Taeyang coaxed him, moving his hands to slide across Youngkyun’s shoulders in smooth circles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not getting better,” he cried, his voice almost completely muffled by the pillow. “None of it is getting better, it’s just getting worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember when I told you that?” Taeyang asked, continuing to rub circles in his back. “You told me things would get better, and they did. You got me through the toughest time in my life by constantly reminding me that you were there for me. Well, Kyun, I’m here for you, too, okay? It’s just a big hill we have to get over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun flipped himself over before he could stop himself, cupping Taeyang’s face and pressing their lips together. Taeyang jumped from the shock of it before slowly placing his hand on Youngkyun’s arm, only moving his lips as much as Youngkyun wanted him too. Youngkyun pulled away with tears streaming down his cheeks, holding his forehead against Taeyang’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Taeyang asked quietly, pushing himself to sit up more comfortably as he kept his face close to Youngkyun’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t ever leave me,” Youngkyun begged, more tears falling from his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, why would I ever leave you?” Taeyang asked, moving his hand to cup Youngkyun’s face gently, his thumb moving softly over his cheek. “That’s insane. I would never.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Even if I mess up?” Youngkyun asked through his tears, not being able to help how his voice sounded so vulnerable and weak as he talked through his sobs. “Even if I fuck up really badly? If I hurt you? When… when you can’t trust me anymore?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll always be able to trust you,” Taeyang assured him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips before moving his hand to the back of Youngkyun’s head, tangled in his hair. He pressed his forehead against Youngkyun’s again, placing his other hand on Youngkyun’s knee. “No matter what, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if you’re wrong?” Youngkyun sobbed, helpless. Taeyang didn’t know how much he kept from him. Taeyang couldn’t possibly know how much he lied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, Kyun,” Taeyang assured him in a voice no louder than a whisper. “No matter what you do… I’ll still love you. And I won’t ever leave you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun could only hope Sanghyuk would be able to put an end to Dawon quickly, because as much of a burden as it must have been for him, it was still an unknown burden for Youngkyun. He would bear it as long as he could, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could lie until he collapsed from the weight of it. And when that happened it would be unbearable for his friends to know how much he bore for them all this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[April 13, 2014] (in hs), [Five Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Taeyang is 17, Youngkyun is 16]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun could feel his lungs burning in his chest as he ran, the soles of his shoes slamming against the ground as his nails dug into the palms of his hands. He gasped for air as he ran, but no matter how much every intake of air burned, he didn’t dare stop running. Even when his side ached from the pain of running, he didn’t stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People stared at him as he ran by them, pulling themselves out of his way and either glancing at him in worry or disgust. He didn’t stop when the roads were busy, almost getting run over by at least three cars as he ran out into the streets, dashing across them as quickly as he could and hoping to whatever Gods or Deities there were that the drivers would be awake enough to stop before they hit him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The moon was high in the sky above him, and no matter how many scary dark alleys he ran by, he didn’t stop running. He never stopped to catch his breath, even when the corners of his vision became nothing but black splotches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he made it to the mansion, he could barely walk himself up the stairs. His toes tripped him going up the stairs, his knee bashing into the stairs with a burst of pain as he stumbled, gasping for breath. But he pulled himself up again anyways. He pulled himself up the stairs using the tips of his fingers as he dragged himself to the main door of the darkened house. No cars in the driveway. No lights on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he got to the front door, he pulled on the handle only to scream in frustration when it was locked. He pulled on it again and again with his fatigued arms until he lost his grip on the handle, falling onto his ass in front of the door. But that didn’t stop him. He pushed himself over to the nearest window next, grabbing a rock from the neat display in the front yard and chucking it at it as hard as he could. The glass shattered into broken pieces around his feet, shards sticking up in the plants and rocks in his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He climbed through the glass filled bushes without hesitations, his arms becoming nothing more than scratching posts as he pulled himself up to the window, pulling himself through without even thinking of how many glass corners and edges he could cut himself on in the process. He didn’t think about it as he pulled himself through the window, dropping to the ground inside the house with a loud thud. He rolled onto his back as he lost his balance, stumbling into the shards of glass with nothing more than a wince of pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was up again without even thinking, calling out as he ran through the empty halls of the house. His voice echoed through the walls as he ran towards the stairs, pulling himself up them as quickly as he could. By the time he made it to the second landing, he felt like he could barely stand, but that didn’t matter, because he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ran down the hallway as fast as he could, reaching the bathroom and swinging the door open so hard it slammed into the wall behind it, spewing a cloud of drywall into the air and bouncing the door back at him, but he was already running into the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang cried as he backed away, holding his wrist which was covered in blood. Tears coated the boy’s face as he backed himself into the wall, smudging the puddle of blood that had begun to form on the floor where he sat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to grab a hand towel from the counter, ripping it off of the pole it was hung on and sliding onto the ground next to Taeyang, who just couldn’t stop crying out in pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here,” Youngkyun told him as tears began falling from his own eyes, grabbing Taeyang’s wrist and quickly wrapping the towel around it. Taeyang cried out, his eyes closing and his head tilting back in unimaginable pain as Youngkyun put pressure on the towel, holding it against Taeyang’s wrist. “I’m sorry I know it hurts,” Youngkyun told him through his tears, feeling the towel against his fingers and knowing what was underneath it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s weight collapsed onto the floor, Taeyang’s blood staining his pants as he reached forward for Taeyang with his free hand. He grabbed Taeyang’s shoulder, pulling him forward to lean into Youngkyun’s chest. His uniform was covered in his own blood, his skin coated in little speckles of it, but Youngkyun didn’t care as long as Taeyang was in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be okay,” Youngkyun told him, wincing as Taeyang put his weight on Youngkyun. He could feel the glass stuck in the fabric of his shirt cutting his back as he moved, but all he did was wince as he pulled Taeyang firmly into his arms, still pressing down on the towel. “I’m here to take care of you. So… so please. It’s gonna- it’s gonna be okay, Tae,” Youngkyun told him, crying into his shoulder as he held him as close to him as he possibly could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I’m sorr- I’m sorry Kyun,” Taeyang cried out, sobbing into his shoulder as he collapsed into him completely. “I- I just couldn’t- I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Youngkyun assured him, curling his fingers into the material of Taeyang’s shirt. “But see? You called me,” he reminded him through his tears. “You- you called me. And I’m here now. So… so you don’t need to do that anymore. I’m here, okay? Okay, Tae?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Taeyang agreed, nodding into his shoulder as he cried out again. Youngkyun adjusted his hold on the towel over Taeyang’s wrist, not daring to look down at it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got you, Tae. I promise. I’ll always be here for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m- I’m sorry,” Taeyang stuttered, curling the fingers of his free hand into the front of Youngkyun’s shirt, pulling at it. Youngkyun winced as the glass cut into his back more, cutting the surface of his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please… please don’t scare me… don’t scare me like that again,” Youngkyun whined through his tears, licking his lips and trying to blink the tears away, but no matter how hard he tried they just kept falling. “Tae I was so scared I thought… I thought I- just… please,” he begged him, succumbing as he dropped his head into Taeyang’s shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t… you- you won’t lose me,” Taeyang told him through shaky breaths, sobbing into his chest. “I won’t let you lose- lose me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Youngkyun replied with a sniffle, pulling Taeyang even closer to himself. “Thank you for calling me,” he breathed out, reaching up to run his fingers through Taeyang’s messy hair, holding his head close to his chest. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never be sorry for calling me, okay?” Youngkyun told him, sniffling as he brushed his fingers through Taeyang’s hair again. “Because I never want to lose you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Present Day]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun only had two jobs at this party. Well… three, actually. His main job was to watch Inseong and Jaeyoon. As he had promised Chanhee, he had to find some way to prove Inseong was in an abusive relationship. It had to be something that could be exposed to the public. Something that couldn’t be easily explained. Which meant it had to be more than just behavioral clues. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His second job, courtesy of his promise to Sanghyuk, was to watch Jaeyoon like a hawk. He had to figure out whether or not Jaeyoon knew about what Anonymous could be doing. He had to note every single person Jaeyoon interacted naturally with, knowing any one of them could be Anonymous. After all, it was no longer Sanghyuk’s job to figure out who Anonymous was. Youngkyun had taken that burden and added it to his shoulders, and he would make sure he saw it through until it crumbled away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His third job, courtesy of the guilt that filled his gut like an hourglass filled with sand, was to keep Taeyang from finding out. Taeyang’s one weakness was his faith in Jaeyoon, which was only a weakness thanks to the situation they were all in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had spent more time thinking about Jaeyoon than he had paid attention to getting ready, which resulted in his outfit being more on a level of comfort than style, but Taeyang just smiled and dressed similarly. It was, after all, a cozier house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Youngkyun had to explain to Taeyang why he thought Jaeyoon was abusing Inseong, not only would he have to explain that he lied to Taeyang, he would also most likely have to explain his connection to Dawon. If he didn’t, Taeyang would most likely make him talk it out with Jaeyoon, which would then put him in the position of admitting Sanghyuk thought the same thing, which would then expose Sanghyuk. So ultimately, preparing for the worse case scenario, Taeyang couldn’t know about Youngkyun’s assumptions about Inseong and Jaeyoon’s relationship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would be even worse if Youngkyun had to explain everything about Anonymous, because Taeyang would definitely say something to Jaeyoon about that, which would either clue Anonymous in, or, even worse, Jaeyoon would tell him. Youngkyun was </span>
  <em>
    <span>screwed</span>
  </em>
  <span> if Jaeyoon told Anonymous; therefore, Taeyang couldn’t know about </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So basically, instead of enjoying himself at his own house party, Youngkyun would be spying on his friend and keeping secrets from his husband. How fun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look good,” Taeyang told him suddenly, coming up to his side with a smile. Youngkyun smiled back at him instantly, clearing his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So do you,” Youngkyun told him quickly, smiling at his black hair all ruffled up. He liked Taeyang in a casual look much more than dressed up in a suit, so this was good for him too. Youngkyun moved his hands to Taeyang’s waist, pressing their lips together for a short moment before pulling away with a smile. “Ew. Why did you wear </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> chapstick? That’s the worst one,” Youngkyun mumbled, sticking his tongue out a bit as he pulled away. Taeyang could do nothing but laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because that one works the best!” Taeyang pointed out with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay well it tastes the worst.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People showed up periodically, Jaeyoon and Inseong showing up somewhere in between, hand in hand. Youngkyun opened the door and welcomed them with his biggest smile, letting them inside and complementing their outfits. Jaeyoon went with a formal casual, dress pants hanging around his waist with a more casual pinstripe shirt hanging over his frame. Inseong wore jeans, which was fine because that was exactly what Youngkyun was wearing. His shirt was a black collared shirt, one half tucked into his waistband in a fashionable way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Kyun!” Inseong greeted with a smile, flashing his teeth. Jaeyoon looked between them with a shocked look for a second before smiling, moving forward to hug Youngkyun. Youngkyun returned it easily, quickly showing them over to Taeyang so he could say hello. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love this house,” Inseong told him quietly as they walked, his hand still held by Jaeyoon’s. “Is it rude to say I like it better than your other one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like this one better too,” Youngkyun whispered back, making it a point to cup his hand around his mouth despite being loud anyways. Jaeyoon smiled at the action, squeezing Inseong’s hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He seemed… fine. Inseong seemed normal. And it wasn’t like normal Inseong to be awkward around Jaeyoon and quiet. He was normal like he was around Sanghyuk, and that was the weirdest part. He held Jaeyoon’s hand just as much as Jaeyoon held his, and he smiled and talked to him. Jaeyoon handed him a drink and he accepted it with a smile, even thanking Jaeyoon for getting it for him. They looked… like a couple. Was it in some way possible they just had a fight and were now over it? Was that in any way possible?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Kyun,” a familiar voice greeted from behind him, breaking him out of his stare as he spun around to greet the person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Juho! Hey!” Kyun greeted with a smile as he turned around. “When did you get here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang greeted me,” he told him, Youngkyun making and ‘oh’ with his lips as he nodded. “By the way, I like your new house. No more sleeping in hotels and at the office, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never slept at the office,” Youngkyun denied quickly, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s such a lie,” Juho mumbled with a pout, almost causing Youngkyun’s straight face to break out into a smile. The struggle was obvious enough to appease Juho, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Wait a second!” Youngkyun realized, putting his drink down on the nearest flat surface and grabbing Juho’s wrist. “I have someone you need to meet!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Juho asked, completely lost as he was pulled across the room by Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon!” Youngkyun called, grabbing the older man’s attention as he dragged Juho over. “This is Juho. He’s Seokwoo’s partner on Xang’s legal team.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! I’ve heard of you,” Jaeyoon told him quickly, passing his drink to Inseong quickly as he bowed to Juho. Juho quickly bowed back as Inseong smiled at the two of them, holding both his drink and Jaeyoon’s in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you,” Juho told him with a smile, bowing. “I’ve heard a lot about you from… everyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s crazy that we haven’t met before now,” Jaeyoon agreed with a smile. “Especially with everything going on in the past two months. Thank you for all your hard work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seokwoo and I work as a team for a reason,” Juho admitted with a kind laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked to Inseong as the two boys talked, quickly noticing how his eyes drifted down to the two glasses in his hands. He moved his hands up and down like he was weighing them in his hands, his hands finally dropping his own cup just a little bit lower as he handed Jaeyoon’s drink back to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Seongie,” Jaeyoon told him with a smile. Inseong smiled at Jaeyoon as he gave the cup back, but his smile faltered at the name. It was so insanely small that anyone not looking for it would never notice it. But his smile </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> falter, and Youngkyun caught it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon, mind if I borrow Inseong for a second?” Youngkyun asked, interrupting their conversation at the best place he could find. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t need my permission,” Jaeyoon told Youngkyun with a laugh, returning his attention to Juho. Youngkyun gestured with his head for Inseong to follow him, and the boy quickly did, running after him as Youngkyun led him to the back door. It opened to a nice porch area with a fancy railing. It didn’t have the best view ever, but it was fine. Youngkyun liked it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you want to borrow me?” Inseong asked quietly, holding his hands around his cup as Youngkyun pulled him out to the balcony. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look happy tonight,” Youngkyun told him with a small smile, leaning his arms on the railing. “I’m just… surprised.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a happy person,” Inseong admitted with a shrug, copying Youngkyun. Youngkyun smiled with a nod. Exactly. Inseong was naturally a happy person, he just had a rough patch in his and Jaeyoon’s relationship. He was happy with Jaeyoon. He was happy in his relationship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled to himself again, looking over at Inseong just as the wind blew by them again. Youngkyun wanted to tell Inseong he was glad that Inseong was finally happy where he was. But once he opened his mouth, the words that left were not what he meant to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong… what’s that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked over to Youngkyun with furrowed brows, following his eyes to the base of his neck, exposed by the wind blowing around the fabric of his shirt. He jumped back quickly, almost spilling his drink as he grabbed the fabric of his shirt, pulling it quickly over the discolored patch of skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I ran into a fucking wall… can you believe it?” Inseong asked with a slight shake to his voice, shifting his eyes away as he held the shirt closed tightly. “It’s embarrassing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is it only bruised there?” Youngkyun asked quickly, looking from Inseong’s face to the patch of skin he kept tightly hidden. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because there was a hook in the wall of Jaeyoon’s house and I just… I ran into it like an idiot,” he explained, forcing out a laugh. It wasn’t a genuine laugh. It wasn’t a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, sorry to interrupt you,” Jaeyoon told them, walking out onto the porch. “But Youngkyun, Taeyang is looking for you.” Nobody spoke. Youngkyun couldn’t tear his eyes away from Inseong, but Inseong couldn’t lift his eyes up to face anyone. “What… happened?” Jaeyoon asked slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uhm,” Youngkyun started, not really sure what to say. What was he supposed to say?! There was a bruise the size of a hand on Inseong’s collarbone that he was so determined to keep hidden under his shirt and he could barely lift his eyes to face Jaeyoon now! He ran into a wall? Then he should be laughing if it was really a joke. He should laugh and tell Jaeyoon how wide Youngkyun’s eyes went when he saw how big of a bruise he had because of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>wall</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He should have said anything at least! Youngkyun cleared his throat, bringing his eyes to Jaeyoon’s. He had to play this off well, right? He couldn’t give Jaeyoon any clues that he knew. “I just saw a huge bruise on Inseong’s collarbone. Did you know about it?” he asked, blinking at Jaeyoon. “He said it was from a wall… it just looks painful so I’m concerned.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to lie to Jaeyoon. Because he didn’t trust him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, from the other day?” Jaeyoon asked, looking with wide eyes to Inseong. “Is there really a big bruise left over from it? Let me see,” Jaeyoon told him, reaching out for him. But Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>flinched.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon laughed nervously as Inseong’s foot scraped against the porch, almost enough to take a step back. “Does it hurt?” Jaeyoon asked, blinking at Inseong. “We should get you some pain relievers if it hurts a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t hurt,” Inseong told him quickly, taking a deep breath and plastering a fake smile on his face. It was so fake. It was the same smile he had been wearing all night, but Youngkyun could see now how fake it was. “I just didn’t realize how big it was either, so I was shocked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s lying because you’re here</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Youngkyun’s voice told him, ringing around in the back of his head. Was he supposed to excuse himself now? Should he leave Inseong and Jaeyoon alone together? But then again… both of them had said it was from a wall. Youngkyun still had no proof that Jaeyoon had hit Inseong, despite being so sure of the fact. He couldn’t do anything now. Inseong had lied to him, so he couldn’t do anything to help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should go find Taeyang,” Youngkyun mumbled, quickly bowing and excusing himself from the situation. He dipped out of the room, quickly walking across the house with his head facing down to the floor until he made it to the living room, easily spotting Taeyang talking to both Juho and Seokwoo. “Hey,” he said, running up to his side. Taeyang looked at him with a bright smile as Youngkyun tried to calm his racing heart. “What did you need?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Need? Who said I needed something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jae- I thought… I thought Jaeyoon…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You thought Jaeyoon what?” Taeyang asked, turning to face him. Jaeyoon had said Taeyang was looking for him. Jaeyoon had… lied about Taeyang needing him to intrude on his and Inseong’s conversation. Because Jaeyoon saw that Youngkyun saw the bruise? Because Jaeyoon was worried about them talking alone? It didn’t matter. The reason why barely had any significance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Jaeyoon had lied to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nevermind,” Youngkyun said quickly, feeling his heart beating insanely fast in his chest as he put on a smile like everything was completely fine. But everything was far from fine. Youngkyun felt lightheaded as his eyes shifted back to where he had come from, but the door to the balcony was behind a wall. He couldn’t see them anymore. He turned back quickly to Seokwoo and Juho in front of them, smiling again. “Seokwoo when did you get here?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. So Lost Without You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>When the author has a thing for ice skating.</p><p>ALSO sorry this update is so much later today than it usually is my only excuse is that I love procrastination and hate moving or doing anything productive :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“FUCK!” Sanghyuk screamed, his body slamming into the wall behind him and tumbling to the ground. “Okay,” he grumbled, pushing himself up quickly. “That was rude.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was easy,” Jaeyoon told him, moving forward and grabbing Sanghyuk by the arm. Sanghyuk let him, using the momentum Jaeyoon gave him to pull himself up, slamming his knee into Jaeyoon’s side and sending him to the ground with a gratifying kick to the stomach, stepping back away from him quickly to avoid his reach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said with a laugh, shaking out his arms as he moved back. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> was easy.” He stepped carefully, avoiding the poles sticking out of the floor as he made his way backwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you been practicing?” Jaeyoon inquired with a smirk, pulling himself back up. His hair hung down in front of his eyes on one side, dripping with sweat. Sanghyuk could feel the back of his neck coated with it too, despite the windchill from where they fought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah I’m just better than you,” Sanghyuk admitted, smiling cockily to himself behind his mask, impressed with his own comeback. He bounced between his feet as he moved back, anticipating Jaeyoon’s next move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s so sad that someone as smart as you can be so delusional,” Jaeyoon commented, lurching forward and reaching out for Sanghyuk. He dodged out of the way just in time, instead tripping over Jaeyoon’s outstretched foot and falling to the ground. Jaeyoon spun around and kicked him as hard as he could, sending Sanghyuk rolling over with a groan. “And wrong,” Jaeyoon finished, stepping back to allow Sanghyuk to recover. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw you called me smart,” Sanghyuk cooed, his voice slightly off pitch from the pain in his gut, and Jaeyoon clearly took pride in that. “Thanks boo,” Sanghyuk added before jumping forward, causing Jaeyoon to flinch back. Sanghyuk smiled to himself before really going for the hit, Jaeyoon dodging him easily and spinning around to grab his arm to bend it backwards. Sanghyuk hooked his foot under Jaeyoon’s leg, kicking it out from under him. Jaeyoon fell back, pulling on Sanghyuk’s arm which tugged him down as well. Sanghyuk made it a point to land as hard as he could on top of Jaeyoon before quickly rolling off of him and onto his feet again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Jaeyoon cursed as he tried to regain his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you done?” Sanghyuk asked, letting himself stand flat footed as he tilted his head at Jaeyoon. “Not that I don’t miss sparring with you, but I kind of want to go home now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you doing, huh?” Jaeyoon asked, pulling himself to his feet. “Why are you trying to be so good lately?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just doing what I usually do,” Sanghyuk admitted, smiling to himself. “I guess you slow witted excuses for functioning people are just finally catching on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon launched at him before Sanghyuk could brace himself for it, pulling Sanghyuk down to the ground with a bang. Sanghyuk moved his leg to kick Jaeyoon off, but Jaeyoon had already grabbed onto the collar of his shirt. Jaeyoon pulled him up, slamming him back down against the ground. Sanghyuk held his head up as much as he could, bouncing back and jabbing his hips to throw Jaeyoon off of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about you?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as he rolled onto Jaeyoon, both of them now holding each other by the collar. Jaeyoon took a second to catch his breath, letting Sanghyuk hold dominance over him for the moment. “What are you doing lately?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Besides chasing you?” Jaeyoon asked, raising an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, besides obsessing over me,” Sanghyuk confirmed with a nod, still out of breath. He pulled his hands away from Jaeyoon’s collar as he stood to his feet, backing away. He stepped back one step at a time, every step echoing over the roof and spilling over the edges of the building. The wind blew through his tight black clothes, giving his body a small chill. “I have a question for you,” Sanghyuk announced when Jaeyoon didn’t answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon grunted, propping himself up as he looked to Sanghyuk with a raised eyebrow. Was it a bad idea to tempt him? Of course. Was Sanghyuk going to do it anyways? Most definitely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you handling the whole Manseok thing?” Sanghyuk asked, taking another step back towards the door that would lead him to the stairwell. “Because I can’t imagine it’s good. I caught the killer everyone was rooting for you to find, and then he just ends up dead in prison. Got any leads on his killer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Butt out of my business,” Jaeyoon hissed at him, pushing himself to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean I caught Manseok so it’s kind of my business too,” Sanghyuk mumbled, shrugging his shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And I’d be doing even better if you stayed on your own fucking turf,” Jaeyoon spat at him, taking a step towards him. Sanghyuk took an identical step back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh sorry, does mentioning your failures make you feel bad about yourself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you just never stop covering your sad life excuses with bad comebacks and jokes?” Jaeyoon retorted, rolling his neck. “I mean seriously, Dawon, it’s getting old.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are your late night calls to come fight just because you’re stressed,” Sanghyuk spat at him, taking another step back as Jaeyoon took one forward. “What? Trouble in paradise with Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leave his name out of your mouth,” Jaeyoon hissed at him. “And stop acting like you're not the one that agrees to come every time I call.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I come because I know you’ll cry if I don’t,” Sanghyuk joked, jumping back as Jaeyoon took a big step forward. “But you can’t make this public right now, can you?” he tested, creeping further back. “Because the public is on </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> side right now, and that </span>
  <em>
    <span>burns</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t it? Because no matter how hard you try, they’re coming to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> now. Suddenly you’re in the spotlight,” Sanghyuk continued, watching Jaeyoon move forward with every step he took backwards. “And now that you have to actually put effort into it all, you have no idea what to do because it’s been so effortless for you all this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I care what the public thinks?” Jaeyoon asked, tilting his head to the side with a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s all you care about,” Sanghyuk mumbled, taking another step back and feeling his heel connect with the door. “And you’re losing your mind just as much as I am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m perfectly sane,” Jaeyoon hissed at him, his eyebrows knitted together angrily as he narrowed his eyes, continuing to walk forward slowly. Sanghyuk moved his hand back, grabbing onto the handle of the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we test that?” Sanghyuk asked, feeling the adrenaline pumping through his veins. His fingers curled around the door handle. Chanhee would have his ass for this later, but he just couldn’t resist it anymore. He would consider it a test. He pressed down on the door handle. “Or would I get a better answer if I asked Inseong tomorrow night over dinner how </span>
  <em>
    <span>sane</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks you are?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had thrown himself through the door and closed it behind him before the words could register in Jaeyoon’s mind. He slammed the door shut behind him, quickly jumping down the stairs. He skipped some as he jumped down to the next landing, bracing his knees and quickly moving onto the next landing as the door slammed back open above him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk slammed into the wall next to him as he heard Jaeyoon jumping to a landing to catch up to him. Jaeyoon jumped over the railing, reaching out for Sanghyuk and barely missing him as Sanghyuk threw himself over the railing too, jumping through the air and flailing as he jumped completely across the area in the middle of all the stairs , landing on the other side. His body slammed into the wall as he pushed himself to keep running, kicking against the wall to keep himself going as Jaeyoon caught up to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t notice Jaeyoon’s hand on his shoulder until he was already rolling down the stairs, stumbling to the next landing and quickly pushing himself up. Sanghyuk threw his fist at Jaeyoon, knocking him off balance before pulling himself over the railing and moving to jump again, but Jaeyoon grabbed onto his arm, stopping him from jumping and instead slamming him back against the other side of the railing, his legs hanging over the ground at least ten stories down. Sanghyuk grabbed onto the railing with his other hand quickly, trying to pull his arm free with no luck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think you’re really funny,” Jaeyoon sneered at him. “Let’s see how much that helps you when you’re free falling,” he suggested with a coy smile, letting go of his arm and kicking at his hand, which was wrapped around the railing, all at the same time. The impact from Jaeyoon’s kick sent Sanghyuk’s grip off of the railing, his body instantly falling away from the railing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reached out for the next nearest railing as he fell, his fingers curling around the metal and his body slamming horribly into the stairwell. He groaned in pain as his arm felt completely stretched out from catching his entire body, although he only fell one story.  He pulled himself up quickly, letting his body fall onto the stairs on the other side with a grunt of pain, not wasting any time to pull himself back up as he continued running. He stumbled down the stairs ahead of Jaeyoon, pushing himself out of the door on the bottom landing and sprinting through the lobby of the darkened building. He pushed the door open without hesitation, wincing at the pain in his shoulder as he continued running. He pulled his mask off quickly, hugging it to his burning chest as he continued to run into the nearest alley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stumbled down it quickly, gasping for breath. He placed his hand against the wall beside him, almost falling into it when he tried to lean his entire weight against it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it really true? Did Jaeyoon hit Inseong like Youngkyun said? Did Jaeyoon react that way because of it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, pressing his back against the wall and letting himself slide down to the ground. His body was once again used at Jaeyoon’s personal punching bag despite the fact that he avidly convinced himself he wouldn’t let it happen again. And once again, he had gotten himself covered in bruises he would have to hide from Inseong, explained away with another story of a mugging. He would tell Taeyang the same thing. And nobody would catch on, and nothing would change. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I tell you to rest because you’re sick, and you come back to me looking like this?” Inseong asked, gesturing to Sanghyuk’s banged up appearance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got hit by a car,” Sanghyuk lied easily, walking into the cafe before Inseong could tell him not to. He walked over to the back, grabbing an apron and throwing it over his head. “And like… went over it,” he added from dramatic effect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe you,” Inseong told him strictly, causing Sanghyuk to spin around like the motion didn’t hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun told me you ran into a wall and got pretty hurt,” he spoke up. He hoped Inseong wouldn’t lie to him about it if he really did lie about it the first time, and he tried to give Inseong a message by bringing it up at that specific moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Inseong told him with a smile. “Just ran into a wall like a dumbass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled at him, nodding before turning around to roll up his sleeves. “And I got hit by a car,” he told him, not bothering to make eye contact as he reached around behind himself to tie the strings of the apron around his back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll hit you if you don’t stop coming to work injured like this,” Inseong threatened under his breath, grabbing a bowl off of the counter and shoving it into Sanghyuk’s arms. Sanghyuk caught it with wide eyes, blinking at Inseong. “Start baking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir,” Sanghyuk replied with a happy smile and a bounce, moving over to the counter to grab what he needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cafe was more relaxing than any pain reliever or headache pill Sanghyuk had tried. The smell of the place alone was enough to completely calm his nerves and relax his shoulders. He could smell the freshly baked cookies and breads and every sense he had was flooded by the calmness they brought. He was practically dancing through the kitchen all day as he spun around Inseong to get what he needed to bake, smiling at him every time he passed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every now and then, Inseong stepped aside to take pictures with people who paid the price written on the jar, and every time Sanghyuk made it a point to make silly faces in the corner of Inseong’s field of view, making him laugh ridiculously every single time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” a cutely dressed girl called from the counter surrounded by her friends, looking to Sanghyuk as Inseong moved to the back of the kitchen to grab a new bag of flour. Her friends all gushed as she called out to him, laughing to each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can I do for you?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile, watching as the girl’s cheeks lit up in a bright pink blush. He leaned forward, his hands pressed against the counter as he leaned forward to hear her better. The girl had long flowing hair hanging over her shoulders neatly as her lips turned up in a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm… I was wondering… uhm… are you the one that makes all the pastries here?” she asked, finally lifting her eyes again to meet his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled with his teeth this time, gesturing behind himself to Inseong who was just coming back with a bag in his arms. “We both do, but they’re his recipes,” he told the girl kindly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re really good,” she complemented with a shy smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, leaning forward with his hand cupped around his mouth. “The pink macaroons are the best,” he whispered with a scrunch of his nose before moving back off the counter to return to what he was working on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Could I… try one?” the girl spoke up shyly, her friends laughing by her side and looking between him and her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave her his best smile. “Of course!” He gave her one quickly, smiling at her once more before moving back to what he was working on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, come on are you blind?” Inseong asked in a low voice, coming up by his side. Sanghyuk jumped a bit, not hearing him come up behind him. He turned over his shoulder to mouth “What?” to him before looking back to his cookie dough. “She’s totally into you!” Inseong pointed out.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and her friends giggling by her side are making that extremely obvious,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a small laugh, trying not to be heard by any of them. He turned over his shoulder to look at Inseong again. “Why? Are they distracting?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong gaped at him, frozen for a second before hitting him lightly on the arm. Sanghyuk tried his best to pretend like there wasn’t a huge bruise there. “Get her number! She’s cute!” Inseong encouraged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was smiling before he could stop himself, tucking his lips into a thin line as he tried not to laugh in Inseong’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Inseong asked innocently as Sanghyuk tried to turn back around to focus on his cookie dough, only for Inseong to grab onto his shoulder and spin him around to face him again. “What? What’s so funny? Do you know her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never met her before in my life,” Sanghyuk mumbled, really trying not to laugh as he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what’s so funny?” Inseong asked, gaping at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, leaning down next to Inseong’s ear carefully, making him wait for it like it was some big revelation. “Inseong,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it already,” Inseong mumbled, fidgeting. Sanghyuk smiled to himself again, biting his lip to keep himself from bursting out laughing in Inseong’s ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not… </span>
  <em>
    <span>into</span>
  </em>
  <span>… girls.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Sanghyuk pulled back, Inseong was just left staring at him with wide eyes, and Sanghyuk really couldn’t help it anymore. He broke down laughing so hard that he had to lean on the counter to support himself, avoiding looking at Inseong’s expression just knowing it would only make him laugh even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You- you’re-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please that was the best reaction ever,” Sanghyuk wheezed, laughing to himself as he tried to support himself on the counter, doing anything to uphold what little composer he had left. “Thank you for that Inseong, oh that was great.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong pouted as his cheeks lit up with a red blush, and Sanghyuk wanted to laugh again at how easily embarrassed the boy was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well…” Inseong grumbled, searching for something to say to make any comeback of his dignity. “Me too,” he grumbled before marching off to the other side of the kitchen, only leaving Sanghyuk in a mess of giggles and laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he called out though his laughs, his words barely understandable from how hard he was laughing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had almost complained to Inseong when it came close to closing time. He wanted to keep baking all day if he could, sinking in the sun that streamed through the windows of the cafe. He wanted to bake in the scent of freshly baked cookies and he wanted to let the laughter and energy of the place consume him for the rest of his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize you missed working this much,” Inseong commented with a laugh, grabbing the broom from the corner as Sanghyuk carefully flipped over the sign on the door, closing the cafe for the day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed it so damn much,” Sanghyuk told him honestly, turning around with a smile before walking back over to the kitchen area. He grabbed a rag from the counter, not hesitating to jump into the cleaning job. Even that, though, he didn’t mind. He spun around quickly, looking pointedly at Inseong. “Never refuse to let me work again!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t jump into freezing cold water trying to catch killers,” Inseong bantered, holding his chin up high and proud as he continued sweeping. He moved over to where Sanghyuk was standing, forcing him to move out of the way. Inseong kept sweeping the area, again, moving over to where Sanghyuk was standing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Sanghyuk called out at him, placing his hands on the counter and jumping up on top of it. He left his legs dangle over the floor as Inseong laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Hey,” he said again, his voice softer this time. Inseong stopped laughing, dwindling it down to just a simple smile as he turned to look in Sanghyuk’s direction, raising an eyebrow. “We should go ice skating.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ice skating?” Inseong asked with a laugh. “Why… all of the sudden?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, hopping off the counter. “Because I want to hang out with you outside of just the bakery. Anytime we’re together we’re always making or selling cookies and macaroons.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But ice skating? What if I have no balance?” Inseong challenged, looking away from Sanghyuk to continue sweeping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you’ll fall and I’ll laugh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?! And what if I push you?!” Inseong threatened, turning around with an angry pout. Sanghyuk almost snorted at Inseong’s expression but forced himself to swallow it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” Sanghyuk challenged, holding his arms out wide. “Push me. Go ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really want to go ice skating?” Inseong asked, changing the subject. Sanghyuk gave Inseong a cocky smile as he moved to grab the towel again, sliding it across the surface of the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I haven’t gone ice skating since… oh my god. The last time I remember I think Chanhee was twelve. It was when we were staying in the Yua Home, so it must have been I think seven years ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong blinked down at the ground as Sanghyuk spoke, his hands freezing around the pole of the broom. “The… the Yua Home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned around to see Inseong, who couldn’t peel his eyes from the ground. “Why? Do you know someone from there? Yua had a lot of nasty kids go through that system. I think Chanhee and I were two of the better ones, despite the fact that we left in the middle of the night to go ice skating with stolen money,” Sanghyuk recalled, not even caring that he admitted it to Inseong as he laughed with a fond smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your past is so mysterious to me,” Inseong commented, changing the subject again quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So tragic,” Sanghyuk commented with a smile, spraying the counter with the cleaner again before wiping the towel across it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to know more,” Inseong clarified, as if Sanghyuk couldn’t already tell. Was this the part where he played the game of how much could he reveal to Inseong without revealing too much? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to know?” Sanghyuk asked, looking up at Inseong as he sprayed the next part of the counter. “I mean… my past is about as cryptic as your relationship with Jaeyoon is. We all have our secrets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you keep commenting on it like that?” Inseong mumbled, pouting at Sanghyuk before crossing his legs and plopping himself on the now clean floor, a few steps away from the dirt pile he had yet to sweep into a dustpan. “Sit with me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m about to be interrogated,” Sanghyuk whined, dropping the towel and sitting down in front of Inseong anyways. It felt weird to be sitting on the ground of the kitchen now, like everything was ten times bigger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s play a question game! Rapid fire! You can pass on anything,” Inseong decided, placing his hands on his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do we have to?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong, it seemed, had already made up his mind. “How many homes have you stayed at?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Six,” Sanghyuk recalled easily, looking Inseong straight in the eyes. “Are we going back and forth? Do I go next?” Inseong just nodded at him, encouraging him to go now that he had his answer. Well… Sanghyuk wouldn’t go into the Jaeyoon questions just yet. “When did you realize you liked guys?” Sanghyuk asked, realizing that it was still, in some tiny way, related to Jaeyoon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eighth grade when a girl in my class confessed to me and I almost choked in the middle of class in front of everyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted, having to lean forward to stop himself from spitting everywhere as he tried to contain his laughter. That was one thing he was not expecting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many homes has Chanhee been to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Five. Same ones as me minus one,” Sanghyuk told him easily, bringing his head up with a smile. “Who was the first person you told when you and Jaeyoon started dating?” Well… so much for dodging those questions. But in his defense Inseong knew his past was on the same level as his relationship, and he was asking those types of questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nobody. Everyone found out when we revealed it to the public,” Inseong told him easily. “What type of person were you in highschool?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” Sanghyuk asked quickly with a laugh. “I was the weird orphan kid who cared about nothing but his baby brother. How did you and Jaeyoon meet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pass,” Inseong said with no hesitation. “How did you and Chanhee meet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At the funerals for my parents and his mom,” Sanghyuk admitted with no hesitation, barely blinking as he spoke. He wanted to know more about Inseong and Jaeyoon. If even how they met was a mystery, how was he ever supposed to figure out more about their relationship? “Who asked who out?” Sanghyuk was dying to know the answer, but Inseong just stared at him. “Hello? Earth to Inseong,” Sanghyuk spoke, waving his hand in front of Inseong’s face to knock him out of his daze. He blinked himself awake with wide eyes, clearly not having heard the question. “Who asked who out?” Sanghyuk asked again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon asked me out,” Inseong told him in nothing more than a mumble. “How… uhm. How did… how did your parents… nevermind. Nevermind that’s not a question I should ask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to know how my parents died?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. Inseong didn’t answer, instead angling his head to face the floor in front of him, too shy to look up. Sanghyuk sighed with a simple smile, folding his hands in his lap. “I told you about my dad right? He was framed for attempting to kill Jaeyoon’s father. It was a huge thing in the news at the time, because three of the politician’s house employees died that night, too. So my father was sentenced to death for it. But for the record, I never believed he did it, and I still don’t. I still remember him telling me about the amount of evidence that he was sure was faked, and how the camera footage of him was edited and doctored,” Sanghyuk explained, smiling at the small bits of memories he had about it, though most of the memories were sad. It just felt like he was supposed to smile. “My mom killed herself on the day he was sentenced to death. She had me sent over to my aunt’s for the day, and while I was there playing she slit her wrists in the kitchen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s terrible,” Inseong mumbled, biting his lip as he continued to stare down at his lap. “Sanghyuk I’m-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say you’re sorry for it,” Sanghyuk interrupted him, still smiling. “I can barely remember much about either of them now. Plus, I have a new family. Chanhee, Youngkyun, and Taeyang are my family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you have them,” Inseong admitted, a small smile appearing on his lips. It looked like Inseong was about to say something else, but he was cut off by the ringing of his phone. He pulled it out of his pocket quickly, staring down at the contact name with a blank expression. “Sanghyuk… do you mind?” he asked, holding his phone up for Sanghyuk to see.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon’s contact name simply read his name, with no added hearts or emojis. He didn’t even have a contact picture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah!” Sanghyuk told him, nodding. “Go ahead! Do you want me to…” he asked, gesturing with his chin to the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head quickly. “You… you don’t have to. We can just… continue our game after! After we finish cleaning. So…” Inseong stuttered, but Sanghyuk got the hint easily enough. He jumped to his feet quickly, moving around Inseong to grab the dustpan while Inseong answered his call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey babe,” Inseong said into the call, his free arm curling around his stomach to hold his elbow up as he held the phone to his ear. His stance was a bit shy and reserved, but Sanghyuk tried to avert his eyes so Inseong wouldn’t know how intently he was listening. “I’m still at work right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cursed the fact that he couldn’t hear what Jaeyoon said on the other end of the call as he swept up the pile on the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tonight?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip as he swept the contents of the pan into the trash. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… okay. Yeah, that’s fine. I’d… I’d love to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever Inseong was agreeing to, he didn’t really sound like he loved anything. His voice cracked as he spoke a bit and his shoulders scrunched up as he spoke, almost like he wanted to stop himself from speaking. But Inseong caught Sanghyuk looking. He turned his eyes away quickly, just as Inseong forced himself to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon, I’d love to,” he repeated, this time much calmer and confident. His voice rang with sweetness this time, and Sanghyuk could imagine the hints of a smile on his face as he said it. But it didn’t matter that he sounded like that now, because he hadn’t the first time he said it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I love you too,” he mumbled into the call, quickly hanging up and shoving the phone into his pocket. Did he really, though? Because everything Inseong said sounded so forced until he realized people around him were listening. Had Jaeyoon said something to him about how noticeable it was? Youngkyun had mentioned at the party how Inseong seemed so much happier until he pointed out the bruise, so what if Inseong was just forcing himself to act better? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to believe Inseong was happy in the situation he was in, that he really did love Jaeyoon and that Jaeyoon loved him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So why… in that small moment… did Sanghyuk assume Jaeyoon told him to act better? Why did he assume neither of them wanted to be in the relationship they were in?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon wants me to spend the night with him tonight,” Inseong announced, and Sanghyuk had to fight the urge to reach out to Inseong and stop him. He had wanted to run away before, so why didn’t he want to now? Why was he forcing himself to act so content and happy? Sanghyuk wanted to grab onto his wrist and pull him back and tell him not to. Because Inseong couldn’t really be happy. He couldn’t be. But to be honest… he was making it so hard for Sanghyuk to tell the truth from his acting at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s nice,” Sanghyuk said instead, acting just as much as Inseong did as he looked up to him with a bright smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So can we put our game on hold? There isn’t much cleaning left, so I’ll come in early tomorrow to finish it,” he offered, Sanghyuk making a mental note of that so he could come in just as early to help him. “We can both leave now. I want to spend more time with him, if you don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could delay his leaving with the excuse that he still had to clean. Why didn’t he? Why didn’t he try to run away? Was he happy where he was or not?! It was driving Sanghyuk insane!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile, placing the dustpan on the counter. They packed up easily enough, closing within just a few minutes. Sanghyuk pulled his jacket over his shoulders as Inseong locked the door behind them. Inseong waved goodbye quickly, but in that moment, Sanghyuk realized he had just one more question for Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong!” he called out to him, grabbing the older boy’s attention as he began quickly walking away. He stopped, turning around to face him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” he asked, hugging his arms around himself in the cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many acting classes have you taken before?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s voice echoed between them both in the empty streets, drifting through the wind as his question hung in the air. Inseong shrugged his arms tighter around himself, looking off behind Sanghyuk before returning to his eyes. He wanted to hear his answer already. This was supposed to be rapidfire, so why was he debating his answer instead of just blurting it out?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong pulled his lips together in a thin smile, giving it to Sanghyuk as the silence between them thickened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, are you sure about this? I read on the website that they weren’t open for free skating today!” Inseong protested, pulling on Sanghyuk’s arm as he pulled him along. He smiled to himself, not looking back as he pulled Inseong behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it!” Sanghyuk told him calmly with a smile, pushing the doors to the skating rink open and pulling Inseong inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t skate if there’s no free skating!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can if we just don’t follow the rules,” Sanghyuk retorted, looking quickly around himself to see the hockey players with their gear spread all over the floors. Of course, he had come here last night in the middle of the night to figure out where everything was, but he would at least pretend to not know the layout of the building inside and out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk we’re not just gonna- Sanghyuk!” Inseong called as Sanghyuk pulled him forward, not letting go of his hand and dragging him through the hallways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you know this arena has an extra hockey ice rink?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile, not bothering to worry about how distressed Inseong was behind him. “It’s not being used for anything today, and they just cleaned it last night!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well… of course the ice rink </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been cleaned last night, but definitely not by the arena staff. It was good enough to skate on now, and that was all that mattered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk held tighter onto Inseong’s hand as he pushed the doors to the extra rink open, smiling in awe at the dark room. Perfect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong fought against him a little bit as he dragged the defenseless boy inside, closing the doors behind them and quickly dropping Inseong’s hand. He moved over to the light switches quickly, flicking them on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room instantly lit up in a faded yellow glow, sparkling with the somewhat freshly cleaned rink. The cool air around them instantly surrounded their bodies, coating them in the frost of the ice. The white and blue walls sparkled against the lights, illuminating the room in a bright atmosphere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled happily to himself before hoisting his bag higher up on his shoulder, gesturing for Inseong to follow him over to the benches lining the walls. He put the bag down on the floor gently, plopping himself onto the bench.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We could have just gone free skating another day,” Inseong told him, walking over with his arms wrapped around himself. He was almost completely swallowed by his black Evisu jacket, sinking down into like he could hide himself from the fact that they just broke into a skating rink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “That could have worked too,” he admitted, leaning down to untie his shoelaces. “I think skating in public would have been great. People coming up to you asking for pictures every other minute… suffocating yourself in a mask… being called out for hanging out with someone that isn’t Jaeyoon because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> the media would go crazy for something like that. Yeah, that could have worked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk kicked off his shoes, pulling the duffel over to him and unzipping it. He reached in, pulling out a pair of black and white skates, untying the laces and sticking his feet in them with a small bit of effort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we could have just done something else,” Inseong conceded, hugging his arms around himself even tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong, do you want to know something about my past?” Sanghyuk asked, not even looking up as he focused on securing the ice skates around his feet. His question was more rhetorical considering he already knew the answer. “The first home I stayed in, I stayed in for a little under a year before I met Chanhee for the second time. That night, he ran away from his family, and I ran away from that trashy excuse for a home,” Sanghyuk began explaining, dusting off one of the skates as he moved to tie the other one, making sure his pants were tucked into them nicely. “That was in 2005,” he told him. “We were brought into another home when we got caught out on the streets later that same year. I don’t count that one on my list since we only stayed for two days before we ran away again. But after that… we didn’t end up staying in another home until late 2007. That’s two years on our own. I was… eleven at the end of 2005, so that means Chanhee was six.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you… I mean… you were so young,” Inseong mumbled, his lips turned in a pout as he continued to hug his arms around himself, shrinking down and appearing even smaller as he spoke. Sanghyuk finished tying his own laces, gently grabbing the sleeve of Inseong’s coat and guiding him to sit on the bench as Sanghyuk got up. He grabbed the pair of light blue ice skates he had for Inseong, placing them on the ground by his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you think we survived?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile, pulling Inseong’s shoes off without asking and setting up the skates for him. “We begged on the streets from strangers and ran away from cops. I stole from stores to feed and cloth us, and stole money off the streets to get little things here and there. I jumped more subway tolls than I can count and I rode trains without anyone knowing I was there probably more times than I should have. Did you know it’s actually really easy to jump into a train before it picks up speed?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… did all that?” Inseong asked, his eyes going wide as he leaned forward. At this point, he was just letting Sanghyuk fit the skates on him, pulling them on tightly and securing the laces. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did it for Chanhee, mostly,” Sanghyuk admitted. “He was six for god’s sake. I had to try my best for him. But… I’m kind of used to doing illegal things now. I know that’s not really the best image to give myself, but it’s true,” he admitted with a shrug, pulling the laces of the skates tightly as he began to tie them into a neat knot. “So I have no problem breaking into an extra and unused skating rink they never even bothered to lock the door of. Especially if it means we can have fun without you being in the public eye like you always are,” he confessed as he finished tying the laces, smiling at Inseong before pushing himself to his feet. He balanced himself on the blades of the skates as he took a step back, holding his hand out for Inseong to take. “So do you still want to go skating? Even if it’s illegal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong opened his mouth to say something, but he never said it. He dropped his arms from around himself, slowly shrugging his jacket off onto the bench. It fell from around his shoulders, exposing his small frame, covered by a soft looking baby blue shirt. It wasn’t tight, but rather it hung loosely around him, tucked in only at the front of the waist of his black jeans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lifted his hand carefully, placing it in Sanghyuk’s, and he didn’t hesitate to pull Inseong to his feet, taking a step back as Inseong rose to a taller height than him. He stepped back, still holding Inseong’s hand, as he guided him over to the rink. Inseong had no problem walking across the floor in the skates, and Sanghyuk had to wonder if he had ever been ice skating before. He had never told Sanghyuk that.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let go of Inseong’s hand as he turned around to step onto the ice, his fingers curling around the clear barrier as he balanced himself onto the smooth ice. He felt his feet slipping under him, gliding on the ice as he found his center of balance, easily bringing both feet onto the ice under him for the first time in a while. It didn’t feel as unsteady as he thought it would feel, so with confidence he spun around to face Inseong, offering his hand to help him onto the ice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did you get these skates?” Inseong asked, placing his hand in Sanghyuk’s and letting him hold him steady as he stepped onto the ice. Sanghyuk pushed himself back slightly on the ice to give Inseong room, watching the boy hold onto the barrier with his free hand as he brought himself onto the ice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I borrowed them from a friend,” Sanghyuk lied without hesitation, pulling Inseong away from the barrier with a tug at his arm. Inseong stumbled, his free arm flailing out as he panicked to catch his balance. Sanghyuk just smiled at him, holding in his laugh as he held his free hand to cover his smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When’s the last time you skated?” Sanghyuk asked, changing the topic as he kicked off lightly, his hand sliding out of Inseong’s. As he moved forward, he felt the cool air flowing around his cheeks bringing an easy, content smile to his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not for- for a few years! Sanghyuk come back!” Inseong called out for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned his head over his shoulder, his feet following him as he made a simple U in the ice, shifting his ankles harshly to stop his slow movement in the ice. The ice scraped up, making a small pile of shredded ice where his skates stopped as Sanghyuk struggled to contain his laughter. He folded one arm across his chest as he balanced his elbow on it, hand covering his smile as Inseong reached out for him, arms completely outstretched as his legs slid slowly farther and farther apart. Sanghyuk could only guess “a few years” was a bit of a bluff. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could have just said you don’t remember how to skate,” Sanghyuk told him, pushing off with his left foot and gliding over to Inseong’s side, turning his ankles quickly to stop by his side, holding out his arm for Inseong to take. The older boy didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Sanghyuk’s arm for balance, his whole body leaning to the side as he did. Sanghyuk almost folded over from laughter as Inseong glared at him. “Inseong… really?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile, pulling Inseong’s arms off of his arm. Inseong pouted, but his expression changed more to shock when Sanghyuk took his hand instead. “You’ll lose your balance if you just hang onto me like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is not enough to stop me from falling,” Inseong told him, holding up their hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could only giggle at him, pulling their hands back down to their sides. “Just follow my lead, okay?” he asked, looking down to his skates. “Kick off with your left foot while you keep your right foot pointed slightly outwards, remember?” he explained, doing exactly that, but only lightly. Inseong did it by his side, his hand tightening around Sanghyuk’s as he started moving. Sanghyuk giggled again, pushing off to reach his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He went only as fast as Inseong did for the first few minutes, staying by his side and holding his hand tightly whenever he started to think he would slip and fall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from his feet though, and that was clearly what was tripping him up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold on a second,” Sanghyuk told him, stepping slightly away from him. Inseong reached to keep their hands locked together, but Sanghyuk made sure not to drop his hands. This was going to be a very bad idea on his part, and he knew it before he was skating gently in front of Inseong, turning so he was facing him completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabbed Inseong’s other hand, holding them both in front of him. “I’m gonna skate backwards, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you even do that?!” Inseong asked, his eyes going wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had to learn when Chanhee did because I couldn’t let him out-do me,” Sanghyuk admitted shyly, squeezing Inseong’s hands to let him know he wouldn’t let him fall. “So stop looking at the ground and just look at me instead, okay? You’re tripping because you keep looking at your damn feet!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is hard!” Inseong whined, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help when his expression broke out into a ridiculous smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be such a baby and just skate,” Sanghyuk told him, kicking off with a little struggle as he started moving backwards. He did exactly what he told Inseong not to do at first, watching his feet positions as he began slowly moving backwards, making sure he was moving them correctly and wouldn’t just completely trip himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few seconds, though, once he was confident in his abilities to skate backwards, he lifted his eyes to meet Inseong’s. Inseong was looking right at him, which was definitely something he did not expect, but he forced himself to focus on skating instead, making sure to move slowly so Inseong could follow him. The boy almost stumbled a few times, but Sanghyuk caught him easily, making sure he didn’t fall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you can do it on your own, now? Like… can I skate next to you instead of in front of you, now?” Sanghyuk asked with a nervous smile, feeling his feet moving effortlessly across the ice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… but you have to remind me how to stop first. Because I don’t know how to stop,” Inseong confessed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just admit I’m teaching you how to skate for the first time!” Sanghyuk called out at him with a laugh. Inseong turned his eyes away with a shy blush to his cheeks, looking up at Sanghyuk to make what he guessed would have been a lame comeback, but his eyes went wide and he was calling out for Sanghyuk to stop before he got a chance to hear it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk barely turned his head around before he felt his back slamming into the barrier surrounding the ice rink, his skates falling out from under him as he fell forward, taking Inseong down with him. He fell onto Inseong, pinning him to the ice as he groaned from the pain in his back. First the fire, then Manseok, and then his fight with Jaeyoon. Now the ice? His back was really not having the best time lately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fucking idiot,” Inseong mumbled at him with a groan, but Sanghyuk really couldn’t help but laugh. He was laughing before he could stop himself, his laughter filling the entire room as he rolled off of Inseong onto the ice. The fabric of his black shirt felt cold against the frigid ice, but he was too lazy to move himself as he still tried to catch his breath from laughing. He moved one of his arms gently, pulling at the folded turtleneck to give himself space to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you not see the giant wall behind you?!” Inseong asked him, pushing himself up to sit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry? It was behind me!” Sanghyuk called out at him in choppy breaths as he struggled to stop laughing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. Help me up!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Inseong was back on his feet, it was like he didn’t even need Sanghyuk to hold his hand anymore. He was skating around, forcing himself to try and catch up to Sanghyuk’s speed, but by this point Sanghyuk was racing around the rink, holding his arms out wide as he skated around the curves of the oval rink, laughing every time he saw Inseong coming in the direction he had just come from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Slow down!” Inseong called out at him, but Sanghyuk didn’t dare. He could hear Inseong laughing every time he passed him, and when they were facing opposite directions, Sanghyuk teased him with silly faces to make him laugh even more. He wanted to make him laugh and smile at every possible chance he had. He loved the sound of it, and he never wanted it to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Sanghyuk moved to pass him for the umpteenth time, Inseong caught him off guard by reaching out. He grabbed Sanghyuk’s hand firmly, not letting go of it. But Sanghyuk was already going faster than him, within seconds the two of them were crashing to the ground together, sliding across the ice in a chorus of groans and laughs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you dumb?!” Sanghyuk called out to him with a laugh, his stomach laying flat against the ice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like to see you pass me now bitch,” Inseong called back at him with a smile, flipping onto his back as he laughed. Sanghyuk copied him, scooting over a bit closer to him before laying on the ice by his side. “Thanks for taking me out skating like this. It’s way more fun when people aren’t watching my every move.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it makes you uncomfortable,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile. He wanted to fold his arms behind his head, but he knew the ice would only burn his skin. The problem was the back of his head was starting to feel cold now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve tried to make me comfortable with my life like this more than anyone else,” Inseong confessed, taking in a breath of cold air and letting himself deflate into the ice. “Thank you, Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to say something about how it should be Jaeyoon that’s trying more than anyone, but he bit his tongue while it was still in his mouth. Inseong was happy now, not because of Jaeyoon, but because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Inseong was happy because of him, and he wouldn’t give Jaeyoon another chance to ruin that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” Sanghyuk told him instead, smiling up at the ceiling that towered above the both of them. “I want you to feel like this is a life you can continue to live if you want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for approaching me that day in the park,” Inseong told him suddenly. “I really would be so lost without you right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Sanghyuk started, moving his hand by his side. It was… wrong to do this, right? What Sanghyuk was about to do now was wrong. But before he could pull his mind against it, he moved his hand over, resting it on Inseong’s on top of the ice. “I’m glad I can help you keep your direction.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ringing of Inseong’s phone pulled them both from their moment, echoing across the room. Sanghyuk knew the ringtone well. It was the one Inseong had set specifically for Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s hand slipped from Sanghyuk’s before he could even blink, his body moving forward as he struggled to pull himself to his feet. “I have to get this, sorry,” Inseong mumbled, struggling to stand while Sanghyuk could only sit there and watch with a sad expression. The second Inseong pushed off to get closer to his phone, whatever held Sanghyuk back snapped like a broken elastic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself to his feet as quickly as he could, skating forward with speed. Inseong was already stepping off the ice by the time Sanghyuk made it over to him, but he didn’t slow down to step off the ice. He skidded himself to a rough stop, rolling onto his back as he stumbled onto the carpet. He rolled back up to his knees quickly, pulling himself to his feet and running over to Inseong’s phone, even though he was still wearing his skates. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk stop!” Inseong called out at him, but Sanghyuk didn’t stop. He grabbed Isneong’s phone, holding it behind himself and out of Inseong’s reach. Inseong scowled at him as he ran over, reaching out for his phone only for Sanghyuk to jump back, holding it even further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Were you going to answer it?!” Sanghyuk asked, something caught in his throat and forcing his voice out in a scratchy yell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Now give me my phone Sanghyuk!” Inseong called at him, but Sanghyuk refused to give him the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, holding it even further. “Jaeyoon knows you’re out having fun, right?! Can he not even let you do that?! Does he have to know where you are every second of the day?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like that Sanghyuk!” Inseong told him, reaching for his phone again. Sanghyuk moved under his arm, walking behind him now and holding his phone far out of his reach as the ringing stopped. Inseong’s entire expression changed in that moment from slight annoyance to something much more heartbreaking. His eyes watered a bit as he looked to his phone like it was something he would never be able to reach, and his fingers curled into fists by his side. “Sanghyuk give me my phone!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When was the last time you called him?” Sanghyuk asked, refusing to give it to him just as it started ringing again, the same song buzzing out and echoing across the rink. “Why does he only call you and why do you feel like you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to answer it?! Do you understand how wrong that is?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand how wrong it is I’m not a fucking idiot!” Inseong screamed at him, his voice echoing across the entire rink as everything else around them fell to silence. The only sound to disrupt them now was the ringing of Inseong’s phone in Sanghyuk’s hand. Inseong held out his open hand toward Sanghyuk. “Now give me the fucking phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you understand it’s wrong then why are you still going to answer his call?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head to the side with an expression that just begged Inseong to stand up to Jaeyoon. He just wanted Inseong to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you back then that you could assume anything you wanted about Jaeyoon and I,” Inseong reminded him, gesturing to his open hand for Sanghyuk to give him the phone. “And I told you whatever you assumed would be better, didn’t I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrifying</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, holding the phone closer to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So just keep assuming and stay out of it!” Inseong begged, biting his lip as he stepped forward, still holding his hand out for the phone. “Please…” he then begged, his voice turning much softer as he looked to the phone. “Please don’t let it ring out this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit on his lip as his own eyes betrayed him, glazing over with water. He dropped the phone into Inseong’s hand with no more resistance, and the call was answered before Sanghyuk even had a chance to breathe as Inseong pressed the phone to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi babe,” he answered quickly, turning away from Sanghyuk and walking towards the empty bag that had carried their skates in it. “Sorry, I fell on the ice and couldn’t get back up quickly enough to get to my phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[December 30, 2005] [14 Years Ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 11, Chanhee is 6]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… please don’t worry,” Sanghyuk begged, holding Chanhee’s small hands tightly in his own. The small boy just kind of stared with an empty expression towards the ground, not even looking up at Sanghyuk who sat in the chair right next to him. “Hey… can you do me a favor? Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded slowly, and Sanghyuk breathed out a sigh of relief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re going to ask who we are,” Sanghyuk explained to him. “That’s what they do at places like this. They need to know who you are to know if you’re just lost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But we ran away,” Chanhee mumbled, pulling his legs together tightly in the chair he sat in, sinking into it. “They’re gonna… they’re gonna bring me back… aren’t they?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t let them,” Sanghyuk promised him, squeezing his hand. “They aren’t taking you from me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said this wouldn’t happen if we ran away,” Chanhee told him, biting his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise I won’t let them take you,” Sanghyuk told him. “As long as you still want to stay with me… I won’t let them take you,” Sanghyuk promised, but Chanhee didn’t respond to that. Sanghyuk sighed, nodding. Chanhee would be better off if he stayed at a home like this, right? He’d be taken care of at a place like this. He wouldn’t be cold and hungry all the time like he was with Sanghyuk. He would be better. “Don’t tell them your name,” Sanghyuk told Chanhee, sinking into his own chair. “If they find out your name they’ll bring you back to your family. You can’t ever let them know your name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door opened to their side, shutting both of the boys up instantly. Chanhee was quick to pull his hand away from Sanghyuk’s, and Sanghyuk tried not to collapse from how guilty he felt towards Chanhee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys warm enough in here?” an older man with a kind smile asked as he walked into the room, moving behind the desk Sanghyuk and Chanhee was forced to sit in front of. Sanghyuk hung his head downward after looking the man over, shifting his eyes to see if Chanhee was doing the same. Of course, he hadn’t even looked up at the man to begin with. The man sighed as he took his seat, settling into his chair. “Are you hungry?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please,” Sanghyuk answered quickly, still not looking up to meet the man’s eyes. “Please. He’s hungry,” he spoke more quietly, nodding his head towards Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked up to the desk, eyes locking onto the two sandwiches placed in front of them. Sanghyuk grabbed the one in front of Chanhee quickly, unwrapping it and pulling the bread apart. He checked it over quickly for anything bad before putting it back together, pulling Chanhee’s hands up and forcing him to take it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eat it,” Sanghyuk whispered to him, gesturing to the sandwich. “Eating doesn’t mean we have to stay.” As soon as Sanghyuk said that, Chanhee lifted his hands to bite into the sandwich, ravenous from never having three meals a day. Sanghyuk unwrapped his sandwich next, not bothering to check it in the same way as he ripped it in half. The man in front of him lifted an eyebrow as he placed half of the sandwich back on the desk over the clear wrapping it had come to him in. He began nibbling at the other half.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man didn’t seem to want to question them while they ate, rather he seemed quiet content just observing them, but Sanghyuk had little energy to care at the moment.  When Chanhee finished his sandwich, which didn’t take long at all, Sanghyuk reached up to grab the other half of his sandwich, handing it to Chanhee as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eat this one too,” Sanghyuk told him. “You need to eat more. I’ll get more food later,” he whispered, watching as Chanhee gave him a small nod, biting into that half as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the two of them were finished eating, they were left in an awkward silence sitting in front of a man who just seemed completely captured by them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you two brothers?” he asked gently. Sanghyuk kept his head angled down, refusing to answer. The man sighed. “Okay, then what are your names?” Again, neither of them answered. “Boys, help us out, here. If you give us your names we’ll let you spend the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll end up staying the night even if we don’t tell you our names because you’ll make us,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pulling his lips into a thin line after he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Smart boy,” the man told him with a smile. “Are you two in school right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess not, huh? If you stay here, we can enroll you. You can go to school like everyone else. How long have you been out on the streets like you have?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No matter what he asked, Sanghyuk still refused to answer. And as Sanghyuk continued to ignore the man in front of him, it was obvious he was getting more and more peeved off. Of course, because nobody was ever as nice as they seemed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen kid,” the man sneered at him. “Should I call the cops then? Should I let them take care of you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We haven’t done anything wrong,” Sanghyuk told him simply, folding his hands in his lap. “We just want you to let us go back outside. We were fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were freezing!” the man screamed at them, and Sanghyuk winced as Chanhee flinched by his side. He grabbed back onto Chanhee’s hand quickly, but Chanhee just just pulled it away again. “Are you brothers, then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop asking us questions. We’re not going to tell you anything,” Sanghyuk told him simply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your name?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None of your fucking business is what my name is,” Sanghyuk spat at him, finally lifting his head. He could see the faintest smile on Chanhee’s lips by his side, and he felt an overwhelming sense of pride stirring in his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kid,” the man hissed at him, pressing his palms against the desk as he leaned forward. “I’m getting real sick of this game. Just give me a name so I can make a record for you or get you back to your god forsaken family!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I’m getting sick of you asking for our names. Fuck off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why isn’t he talking?” the man asked suddenly, gesturing with his head to Chanhee, who still hadn’t lifted his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he doesn’t want to,” Sanghyuk answered easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kid,” the man said, reaching forward to snap his fingers in front of Chanhee. He flinched at the sound, scooting back in his chair. “Hey kid,” he said with a much gentler voice. “Do you want to stay here? Do you want to be with this bigger kid right now? Is he forcing you to be here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk dropped his jaw in offense at the adult accusing him of such a nasty thing. “I would never-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t asking you!” the man snapped at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes went wide as he looked down to the small boy by his side, and even the man dropped any malice in his voice and expression as he turned his attention to Chanhee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee moved his hand carefully, grabbing onto Sanghyuk’s and lifting his head to glare at the man in front of him. “He’s my brother. So stop yelling at him and fuck off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s lips turned into a lopsided grin as Chanhee turned to him, his glare shifting away as his eyes lit up in a smile, his lips pulling apart and exposing his teeth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Sanghyuk whispered, moving his hand to brush at the back of Chanhee’s head. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Like a Broken Puzzle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I don’t get it,” Sanghyuk whispered, bouncing his bouncy ball against the floor so it would hit the wall and bounce back at him. Youngkyun honestly had no idea where he had gotten it from, but he didn’t even bother questioning it anymore. “He drops hints all the time. It’s like he looks me in the eyes and tells me he doesn’t like his relationship with Jaeyoon but doesn’t want to be confronted about it. He has flat out </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> me it’s worse than I assume… but I don’t get it! If he wants me to know… he should just tell me,” Sanghyuk told him with a pout, holding the ball in his hands before throwing it back at the ground in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t put holes in the walls,” Youngkyun told him, pushing his specs higher up in his nose with the end of the pen in his hand, moving his hand to flip over the page of the packet in his hand. “We literally just got this house.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jangmi doesn’t like it,” Sanghyuk told him, bouncing the ball against the floor and wall again from where he sat. “You haven’t made enough of a mess of it yet so she has nothing to do. She thinks she’s gonna get fired soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Youngkyun asked, spinning around in his seat to look at Sanghyuk behind him. “She told me she likes it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well she lied,” Sanghyuk told him, pursing his lips as he bounced the ball against the wall again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun moved his arm to the desk to rest on it. “And since when does she rant to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> about this kind of thing?” he asked, tsking at Sanghyuk before turning back around to face the papers piling up on his desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh she doesn’t,” Sanghyuk confessed, bouncing the ball against the floor again. “Chanhee and I got bored last night after I came home from the ice rink so we hacked her messages.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun spun around in his chair with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open, almost flinging half of his papers across the room as he did. “Don’t hack Jangmi’s messages!” Youngkyun yelled at him with an accusing stare. “That poor girl I swear to god… what is it with you and messing with her?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m amused by her!” Sanghyuk confessed with a smile and a single huff of a laugh, bouncing the ball against the ground again. “Plus, she’s fun to mess with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leave her alone!” Youngkyun told him, pushing away from his desk quickly and reaching over, snatching the ball as soon as it bounced off the floor again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, give it back,” Sanghyuk demanded, opening his hand for Youngkyun to give it to him. Without a single word, Youngkyun got up from his chair, moved over to the door to his office, opened it, and threw the ball outside into the main area of the house, and closed the door behind it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oops,” he mumbled with a cocky smile, falling back in his chair and letting himself drift back to his desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You suck,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pouting as he dropped his hands into his lap with nothing to play with anymore. “But were you even listening to what I was saying?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were saying how Inseong keeps giving you hints but he doesn’t want you to get involved and it’s annoying,” Youngkyun recounted, spinning back around to face the papers on his desk. “I was listening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At this point I am absolutely positive Jaeyoon is abusing him in some way. I can’t prove it’s physical, but I’m positive it’s at least emotional abuse,” Sanghyuk told him, pressing his back against the wall and sliding down it until he was just laying completely on the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Prove it,” Youngkyun challenged, moving another paper over to drop it into the trash sitting beside his desk. “Because it doesn’t matter how sure you are. If you can’t prove it, nobody else will believe you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know!” Sanghyuk whined. “Youngkyun, I have a headache.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s new?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. I’ve had less headaches in the past month than usual, did you notice?” Sanghyuk asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I noticed,” Youngkyun told him, looking between two papers, one in each hand, before dropping one into the trash. “And I don’t think that changes anything. You should get an MRI.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should stop suggesting I have some problem with my brain,” Sanghyuk challenged, scooting across the floor to sit next to the trash by Youngkyun’s desk. “It’s offensive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not saying you have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>problem</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun defended, rolling his eyes as Sanghyuk reached into the trash to pull out one of the papers. “I’m just saying you should make sure your brain is healthy. It’s not normal to have as many headaches and migraines as you do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had less this month!” Sanghyuk reminded him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean anything! Congratulations, it was less for a month. It doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way,” Youngkyun told him, pursing his lips as he returned his attention to the papers in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What even are these?” Sanghyuk asked, pulling out another paper. “I don’t read business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have an above average IQ, I’m sure you could figure it out if you put any amount of thought into it,” Youngkyun mumbled, dropping another paper into Sanghyuk’s lap for him to look at. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear Sanghyuk switching between the papers as he read through them, but Youngkyun just kept focusing on the ones in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are these documents of all the sponsorship donations made towards Jaeyoon?” Sanghyuk questioned, looking up to Youngkyun with big eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? Told you you could figure it out,” Youngkyun told him with a quick smile, dropping another paper off the side of the desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what are the ones you’re throwing away?” Sanghyuk asked, placing the papers in his lap into the trash. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Useless, because I either remember who made those donations or I have documents to show who did. I’m sifting through them to find the ones made by Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, there’s a way to tell that?” Sanghyuk asked with sudden piqued interest, grabbing onto the edge of Youngkyun’s desk to pull himself up to see the files on his desk better. “Are you looking for similarities? Wait- how do you even have these?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I brought them from the company,” Youngkyun explained, pushing Sanghyuk out of the way lightly to drop another paper into the trash. “These are all copies, obviously. But Taeyang and I kept records for Jaeyoon ever since we started supporting him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Anonymous started supporting him in late 2017. You guys started supporting him in early 2018. There’s a gap,” Sanghyuk pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? You even pay attention,” Youngkyun told him with a small smile. “Yeah, I know there’s a gap, but I can work around it. Taeyang and I have a majority of the documents, and even without the ones from 2017, Anonymous only made small contributions to Jaeyoon then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means in 2017, Anonymous didn’t have the means to make big donations, which is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge</span>
  </em>
  <span> clue,” Youngkyun told him, turning in his seat to face him more forwardly. “I’ve looked at theories online and a lot of them talk about how Anonymous has to be someone in business, which makes sense. So who in the business world has Jaeyoon met in the past three years that didn’t have the ability to strongly support him in 2017, but does now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You and Taeyang?” Sanghyuk suggested, only to earn an eye roll from Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Besides Taeyang and I!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of people to look through!” Sanghyuk pointed out with a dragged voice. “I mean… do you have any idea how many people Jaeyoon has met in that time? Also! You’re missing the fact that Jaeyoon could have met him for the first time at </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> point, not just specifically 2017. What if they met in 2016?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then they had to have met again in 2017 to discuss Anonymous being an anonymous sponsor, don’t you think?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow before pulling his specs off and laying them on the desk. “If they met… there has to be some sort of proof, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you just plan to look through every single place Jaeyoon has ever been and every single company and every single employee of every company and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay I get it,” Youngkyun deadpanned, sinking into his chair. “I’ll dwindle it down. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m looking for patterns and clues.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What has Taeyang found?” Sanghyuk asked, dropping to sit with his legs crossed on the floor again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun winced. “About that…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t told him yet!” Sanghyuk called out, looking at him with wide eyes, his mouth agape. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell him! I will! But-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, you said you would work on this with Taeyang, but how are you going to do that if you don’t even tell him?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as he waited for Youngkyun’s excuse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying to figure out how to tell him so he doesn’t tell Jaeyoon! As it is, him and Jaeyoon are at an Xang meeting right now!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what happens if Taeyang finds out you’re looking into it before you tell him?” Sanghyuk inquired, forcing Youngkyun to pull his head into his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you’re giving </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> a headache. I said I’ll tell him, okay?” he muttered, raking his fingers through his length of hair, sighing as he felt the pressure building behind his eyes. “I just… need to figure out how.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been over a week, Kyun,” Sanghyuk told him, pulling his lips into a thin line. “The longer you wait… the more pissed Tae is going to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>thank you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Hyuk. Thank you. I know. I know he’s going to be pissed at me. I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely</span>
  </em>
  <span> well aware of that. Anything else you’d like to add?” Youngkyun asked, his voice becoming slightly hoarser as he tried to calm himself down, nothing really working as he only seemed to become more agitated and angry as he continued talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should go,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pushing himself to his feet. “I need to get home to Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded, taking a big breath before letting it out, his entire body sinking as the air left his lungs. “Make sure you take headache medicine when you get home,” he mumbled, still cradling his head in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too,” Sanghyuk told him, walking out and closing the door behind him without saying anything else. As he closed the door, Youngkyun felt like everything holding his emotions back in front of Sanghyuk just collapsed. He pressed his forehead against the desk, trying to keep his breathing steady as it seemed like he was failing to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To tell the truth to Taeyang, he would have to lie about how he got the information. Yet another lie he would tell Taeyang to add to the many. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please forgive me, Taeyang,” Youngkyun whispered into the desk, a single tear sliding down his cheek. “But I’m too deep into this mess to just stop getting involved. Just… please forgive me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[January 3, 2017] [3 years ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Youngkyun is 18, Taeyang is 20]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This place is amazing!” Youngkyun screamed out, running into the big open space with his arms held out wide. He spun around himself, smiling into the room as he danced around the empty floor. “Look at it! Taeyang, </span>
  <em>
    <span>look at it!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he called with a laugh, continuing to run around the space with the biggest smile he could manage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun! Calm down!” Taeyang told him with a laugh, running over to him to grab his hand, but Youngkyun just continued to bounce around, his eyes moving around the room to see every single thing in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love it!” he cheered loudly, wrapping his arms around Taeyang’s neck and flinging himself into Taeyang’s arms. Taeyang barely managed to catch him, but Youngkyun didn’t care at all if they fell to the ground, too busy holding on to Taeyang as tightly as he possibly could. He screamed again with a wide smile, pulling away from Taeyang to look around the big room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even know what this room is for!” Taeyang told him with a laugh, letting go of his hand as Youngkyun moved away, interested in exploring every single thing in the big open room. He was most mesmerized by the large windows, exposing them to the cloudless sky hanging above them and the city below. The building wasn’t insanely tall, but it felt so much higher up than Youngkyun could have ever imagined. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even care,” Youngkyun admitted with a laugh, turning back around to smile at Taeyang beside him. “I love it. I love this whole building. I can’t believe this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>ours</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, Kyun, come here,” Taeyang told him with a smile, reaching out for his hands. Youngkyun was quick to take them, moving right in front of Taeyang with a giddy smile that just wouldn’t go away. “This room… it’s your office.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My… </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> office?” Youngkyun asked, his eyes going wide. He turned around to look at the room with wide eyes and a blank expression, never letting go of Taeyang’s hands. “This is… </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> office?” he asked again, turning back around to look at Taeyang with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Kyun. It’s yours. Do you… like it?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head to the side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I fucking love it!” Youngkyun cried, pulling Taeyang into his arms happily again. “Taeyang I’m actually gonna cry, I love it! I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you cry then I have to cry too and I’m wearing makeup so please don’t cry,” Taeyang admitted with a laugh, only for Youngkyun to pull back and punch him playfully on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m wearing makeup too you asshole!” He laughed again before pulling Taeyang into his arms once more, holding him as close to him as he possibly could. “This is incredible, Tae. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… uhm, actually,” Taeyang stuttered, pulling away from Youngkyun to only hold his hands. He had a smile on his face, but it was a bit lopsided with awkwardness. “I- uhm. I was thinking… you know. I mean… we always said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> would be the CEO… because… because of my dad’s company. But… but I was thinking… you know. Maybe we could… maybe we could be CEOs… together?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his heart stop in his chest as Taeyang broke out into an extremely nervous smile, leaning forward to wait for Youngkyun’s reply. Youngkyun wanted to scream “yes” at the top of his lungs, but his voice felt frozen in his throat as he felt his eyes well up from the offer. To be a CEO with the love of his life? That was honestly something Youngkyun could only imagine in his dreams. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And… I mean…” Taeyang began again, pulling his hands away from Youngkyun’s with a nervous cough to clear his throat. He reached into his pocket, digging around in it for a second before coughing in a nervous laugh. “Since… since we’d be CEO’s together… I was wondering…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t really realize he was crying until he saw Taeyang shift down onto one knee in front of him through the blur of his tears. He held his hand out in front of him, a simple ring in between his fingers with a beautiful purple gem on the top. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you… want to do that whole partners for life thing with me? Will you marry me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s lips pulled back as tears began flowing down his cheeks, and his throat was too backed up to get any words out, so all he could do was nod through his mess of tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang smiled in front of him, taking Youngkyun’s hand in his and sliding the ring on his finger. Youngkyun sobbed out loud just as Taeyang did, grabbing him and pulling him into another hug as he continued to just cry, his fingers curling into Taeyang’s suit as he tried to hide how much he was crying, not that that was in any way possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Kyun,” Taeyang told him softly, placing his hand on the back of Youngkyun’s head and brushing his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Youngkyun cried out, pulling himself even further into Taeyang’s embrace. “I love you so fucking much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Present Day]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun exhaled, looking at the setup in front of him. He had the food ready, the table set, and everything was perfect. Everything was perfect, wasn’t it? Taeyang would be home any minute now, and when he got home he would have a whole meal ready for him that Youngkyun had put together entirely by himself. Was it too much? Would Taeyang see right through it and know Youngkyun was trying to bribe him into being more sympathetic? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard the door opening while he was checking up on the food, dropping everything quickly to make his way over to the door. Taeyang looked over to him with wide eyes when he ran over, quickly taking in his appearance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you get all dressed up just for me?” Taeyang asked, blinking at him as his body stood frozen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Youngkyun asked, furrowing his brows. “I’m just wearing what I normally wear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no,” Taeyang told him quickly, dropping his work files on the table by the door before kicking off his shoes. He slid his jacket off his shoulders too, hanging it up gently on the hook, before making his way over to Youngkyun. “First of all,” he began, looking up to Youngkyun’s hair. “Your hair is tied up, and you know I like when you tie your hair up because I think it’s a good look on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was in my face,” Youngkyun defended, which was seriously the only reason his hair was tied back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Second of all,” Taeyang told him, gesturing to his shirt. “Your sleeves are rolled up halfway which you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> do, because you’d rather just bypass all the extra effort and push them up on your arms. You never </span>
  <em>
    <span>roll</span>
  </em>
  <span> them up like this. But I’ll admit, it’s hot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pouted, averting his eyes. He definitely put too much noticeable effort into this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I can also smell food, and I know Jangmi isn’t here tonight,” Taeyang told him, smiling cockily as he waited for Youngkyun to explain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just come get your fucking dinner asshole,” Youngkyun told him with a pout, turning around to stomp his way over to the kitchen before Taeyang grabbed his wrist, spinning him back around. Taeyang placed his hand on Youngkyun’s waist as he pressed their lips together, pulling back with a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re also wearing the cherry chapstick which is the best one,” Taeyang whispered, laughing a bit as Youngkyun pulled away in offense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did that just to see what chapstick I was wearing!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did that because I wanted to kiss my husband,” Taeyang told him with a smile. “It just so happened that I noticed what chapstick you’re wearing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Liar,” Youngkyun muttered with a pout, narrowing his eyes at Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, I’ll prove it,” Taeyang told him with a smile, stepping slowly towards Youngkyun and sliding his hand to cup Youngkyun’s face. He pressed their lips together again, this time much softer and sweeter. It wasn’t a short peck that spoke “welcome home”, it was a kiss that reminded Youngkyun how much Taeyang really did love him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he pulled away, Youngkyun couldn’t help but smile against his will, bringing Taeyang to laugh when he saw it. “I love you, Kyun,” he mumbled with a smile, looking up to the kitchen. “What did you cook?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Japchae,” Youngkyun told him, watching Taeyang walk over to the kitchen to look at the self cooked meal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? I mean, I’m not complaining. I love Japchae, and if you wanted to cook, you wanted to cook. I’m just confused by… all the effort you put in for no obvious reason,” Taeyang admitted with a laugh, gesturing from the meal to the table to even Youngkyun himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no reason,” Youngkyun lied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay well now I know there is,” Taeyang said within seconds, nodding with a smile on his face. “Can I have a hint at least?” Taeyang asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not. There’s no reason,” Youngkyun continued to lie, shaking his head. Taeyang came up to him with a smile, looking him over from head to toe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know if you just wanted to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“IT’S NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE SEX!” Youngkyun interrupted him quickly with a pointed look while Taeyang broke into a fit of laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was going to say… because Kyun you don’t have to cook me a meal for that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know!” Youngkyun told him, jabbing his chin at him. “That’s not it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you got all dressed up!” Taeyang defended, gesturing to Youngkyun’s style choice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I put my hair up because it was hanging in my face when I cooked and I rolled up my sleeves to look neat for once in a fucking while! And the cherry chapstick was the first one I found!” he told him strictly, stomping over to the kitchen and gesturing for Taeyang to come over and eat with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, babe,” Taeyang humored with a laugh, walking behind Youngkyun as he grabbed the bowl of japchae, placing his lips gently on the back of Youngkyun’s neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying to get our meal ready and you’re absolutely soiling it,” Youngkyun told him with a straight face, causing Taeyang to break out into a smile again, holding back his laugh. “Also!” he said, giving Taeyang a pointed look as he brought the bowl over to the table. “It’s so bold of you to just assume I wanted to have sex! You just called it out!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did not!” Taeyang defended with a laugh. “You cut me off before I could!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you were going to!” Youngkyun told him, exasperated at how defensive of himself his husband was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying you don’t want to?” Taeyang challenged, holding his palms up to the ceiling, arms out away from his chest. “I find that hard to believe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I find it hard to believe I married you,” Youngkyun joked as he placed the bowl in the center of the table, Taeyang’s laugh ringing through the room from the other side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was going to be okay, right? Taeyang loved him, and he always had. He would hear him out. Youngkyun was just overreacting. Everything would be fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they finished eating, though, Taeyang just seemed to become more and more interested in the reason why Youngkyun had cooked all this food for them. He ate quickly, leaning his head on his folded hands as he waited for Youngkyun to finish, who had no appetite left but continued to eat slowly. Taeyang didn’t push him once, simply waiting and watching with an adoring smile. Eventually, there was nothing left on Youngkyun’s plate to distract himself with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe there wasn’t a reason to begin with,” Youngkyun suggested, hating the way his throat seemed to close up as his nerves rose. He had to tell him. He had to. He didn’t have a choice. Taeyang deserved to know, so Youngkyun had to tell him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… is everything okay?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head as his smile faded. “You look… I don’t wanna be cliche and say ‘pale’ but you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> look pale,” Taeyang confessed, pushing himself up from the table and moving over to Youngkyun’s side. He kneeled down by his chair. “Is everything alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is fine,” Youngkyun told him with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are so bad at lying,” Taeyang mumbled, grabbing Youngkyun’s arm and leading him gently over to the living room, leaving their table a mess to be dealt with later. Taeyang sat Youngkyun down on one half of their new couch, sitting across from him with his legs folded criss-cross style. “Tell me what’s going on. Is there something you wanted to tell me? Is that why you cooked a big meal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Youngkyun mumbled, avoiding Taeyang’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang gave Youngkyun a small laugh, and the calmness of it radiated through Youngkyun’s body, reminding him how much Taeyang loved him. It would be fine. Everything would be fine. “Kyun,” he began slowly, tilting his head to the side. “You know you can tell me anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t want to tell him this. He deserved to know, but the problem was that Youngkyun should have told him a week ago! He shouldn’t have waited this long, and now that he had, he was becoming nervous of Taeyang’s reaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took in a big breath, trying to think of how he wanted to word it in his mind only for nothing to come to his mind. Everything was just blank. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About… about Manseok,” Youngkyun mumbled, pulling his hands together and curling his nails into his palms. “There was… something else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something else?” Taeyang asked, raising his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before… before uhm. Before Dawon got to him,” Youngkyun stuttered, biting his lip. “He said a few things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Things… like what?” Taeyang prompted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was talking to himself… well- okay, not really to himself, but more to the body he was… uhm… Jaehwa. The body he was dragging onto the- onto the property. He was- and he kept talking about his… his boss. The person he works for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait… Manseok worked for someone?!” Taeyang asked, his eyes going wide as he leaned in, but Youngkyun felt the urge to flinch back. He was going to be mad. He was going to be pissed and Youngkyun felt like he was going to cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… hesaidheworkedforAnonbutAnonisjustAnonymousand-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He works for Anonymous,” Youngkyun blurted out, holding his eyes shut tightly. “Like… Jaeyoon’s Anonymous… we think.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Taeyang asked, his whole body going rigid. “You… wait start over, start over. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Manseok said he worked for Anon… which was just his nickname for Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There could be a million different Anonymouses,” Taeyang told him quickly with a worried expression. “Why… why would you think it’s Jaeyoon’s Anonymous? That makes no sense!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It… it does, though,” Youngkyun mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it doesn’t!” Taeyang argued quickly, his voice sounding more stressed than angry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Manseok had a list with him of all the names of people in Dawon’s gang. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>paid</span>
  </em>
  <span> by Anonymous to kill them. How could he have possibly gotten that list unless Anonymous, who is really close to Jaeyoon, gave it to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous is Jaeyoon’s supporter, though!” Taeyang defended strongly. “And Jaeyoon is a hero. Of course Anonymous is a good person, Jaeyoon would make sure of that. So… so it’s insane to think that just because Manseok called his boss Anonymous that it would be the same person, especially if that’s your only reason for thinking so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk and Chanhee think so, too,” Youngkyun mumbled, wincing as he said it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So am I… was I just the only one left out of this for… I mean, how long has it been now? Twelve days?!” Taeyang asked, his lips parted as he struggled to find things to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun apologized, pulling his arms around himself. “But we- we knew you would want to tell Jaeyoon and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I want to tell Jaeyoon!” Taeyang told him loudly, and Youngkyun really felt his courage dwindling down to nothing. He just wanted the secrets and lies to end that was all he wanted. He hated this. He hated how betrayed he could tell Taeyang felt, and how weak he felt for keeping this from him. “You’re- you’re all accusing Jaeyoon’s biggest supporter of targeting Dawon’s gang members. Jaeyoon would never allow that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what if Jaeyoon doesn’t know?” Youngkyun challenged, biting his tongue as soon as he said it, but continuing anyways. “What if… what if Anonymous is doing this without Jaeyoon knowing? It would… it would still make sense since he had the list.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>ask</span>
  </em>
  <span> him,” Taeyang proposed. “Let’s call Jaeyoon right now and tell him what you think!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- please,” Youngkyun mumbled, the words falling deaf under the crack of his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can call him right now and make sure he knows,” Taeyang told him, pushing himself up from the couch to move towards his phone which he left on the dining table. “That way he can investigate it instead of you just making assumptions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. No, no, no,” Youngkyun mumbled, pushing himself up from the couch and sprinting over to Taeyang. “Taeyang please, don’t call him!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Taeyang asked, grabbing his phone from the table. Youngkyun felt helpless standing in front of him like this, on the verge of tears and clutching his hands to his chest. He couldn’t call Jaeyoon. Youngkyun couldn’t let him do that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because…. Because-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is Jaeyoon’s problem! If you knew… you should have gone straight to him,” Taeyang told him, holding the phone in front of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang please-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want to keep things from him so much? Jaeyoon is </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> friend, isn’t he? So why do you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t trust him!” Youngkyun yelled out, just as Taeyang moved to unlock his phone. Taeyang’s hand froze, while Youngkyun felt the first tear sliding down his cheek. “Taeyang please put the phone down and just listen to me!” he screamed, and he could see the hesitation across Taeyang’s face as he stood in front of him, so vulnerable and broken. “I- I cooked you dinner like this because I knew you’d be mad that I didn’t tell you sooner, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>should have.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But- but all three of us didn’t know how to tell you because we knew you’d try to call Jaeyoon like you </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost just did</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And we- we don’t want Jaeyoon to know! But you’re just- you’re not listening to me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then explain it to me,” Taeyang told him, biting his lip. “Kyun… I can’t… I don’t understand whatever you do. You need to help me understand. You… you don’t trust Jaeyoon? Why not?! What possible reason has he given you not to trust him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because… because…” oh fuck it. “We think Jaeyoon is abusing Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang rolled his eyes at that. He actually rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again, you’re not listening to me,” Youngkyun told him calmly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re not explaining it to me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying!” Youngkyun screamed, curling his fingers into his chest. “I’m… Taeyang… I’m trying,” he admitted in a defeated voice, tears falling from his eyes. “I’m really trying to explain it. But all this time… all this time I didn’t because I didn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don’t know how to explain to you everything that’s happened in the past two months to make you understand!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Taeyang begged him, dropping his hand to his side, phone still held tightly in his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk told me,” Youngkyun began, trying to piece the millions of crushed puzzle pieces into some order that resembled a puzzle picture. “He noticed things about how Inseong acted. Like… how Inseong never liked being recognized, or when he went silent whenever anyone mentioned Jaeyoon. He froze whenever Jaeyoon called him and he just seemed so forced whenever he had to smile and tell people he was Jaeyoon’s boyfriend. And when I had lunch with the two of them, it was just so weird the way Inseong constrained himself when he was sitting next to him. Just… everything about how they interacted felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And Sanghyuk could tell he wasn’t happy and isn’t because he is just never happy when anything about Jaeyoon comes up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And then at the bake fair… you read in the news that Jaeyoon went there to see Inseong but Inseong wasn’t there, right? You read that, right? Do you… I mean. Inseong didn’t want to meet him that day. Inseong got scared and asked Sanghyuk to take him somewhere else. And after that Sanghyuk told Inseong that if he didn’t explain anything he would just assume something bad… and Inseong’s response to that was something like whatever Sanghyuk assumed would have been better. Doesn’t that… I mean… doesn’t that raise </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> flags to you?” Youngkyun asked, but Taeyang just held his eyes down to the ground in front of him, unmoving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That…” he began slowly. “That doesn’t prove-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And then at the party. I pulled Inseong to the side just to talk to him and I saw- I mean- there was a big bruise on his collarbone, and he told me it was just because he ran into a wall but when he said it he stuttered and he looked nervous and he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>looked</span>
  </em>
  <span> like he was lying. And I didn’t know what to think, but then Jaeyoon came up and told me you were looking for me, so I went to go find you instead. But you weren’t even looking for me. You hadn’t even talked to Jaeyoon in the time I was with Inseong. He… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>lied</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me to get me away from Inseong after I saw the bruise. Taeyang… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>lied</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang stood frozen in front of him, fingers twitching around his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look me in the eyes and tell me you told Jaeyoon you were looking for me,” he challenged, finally bringing his eyes to meet Taeyang’s. Taeyang’s expression looked broken, his hands shaking as he tried to piece together everything Youngkyun still couldn’t figure out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I can’t,” Taeyang admitted quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why did Jaeyoon tell me you were while Inseong struggled to explain the bruise on his collarbone? I mean… a wall? He ran into a wall and has a bruise the size of a hand in just that one spot?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You still don’t have proof, though,” Taeyang mumbled under his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t,” Youngkyun admitted. “But Sanghyuk is… he’s trying to get some. He’s trying to get proof but… Taeyang I’m sorry for not telling you sooner… but you would have told Jaeyoon. I can see it in your face now that you still want to just call him and ask him if it’s all a big misunderstanding, but Tae what if it </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span><em>?</em> I mean… first Anonymous could be targeting Dawon’s gang members and having them killed, and then Jaeyoon lies to me to get me away from Inseong who he could be abusing? It’s that a bit suspicious?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang bit his lip as he looked away from Youngkyun. He didn’t give an answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang you don’t… you don’t have to believe me about Inseong. I’m not asking you to. You can decide what you think is happening there for yourself but… please believe that I don’t trust Jaeyoon. He’s- he’s been my friend for over two years now, I wouldn’t say I don’t trust him without a reason. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I believe you,” Taeyang mumbled, sighing. “I… believe you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you do?” Youngkyun asked, his eyes going wide as Taeyang nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you say you don’t trust him… then… then I know you mean it,” Taeyang stuttered. “But I don’t think Anonymous is killing people, and I don’t think Jaeyoon is abusing Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have… documents I’ve been going through,” Youngkyun confessed quickly, wanting to get it all out now before there was a chance for Taeyang to believe he was hiding anything else. “They’re sponsorship files from all the donations Jaeyoon has received. I want to figure out which ones are from Anonymous. I want to… Taeyang… I want to find out who Anonymous is… without Jaeyoon knowing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get that you don’t trust him, but Youngkyun do you have to go this far?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to do it together,” Youngkyun confessed in a small voice. “I want to know who Anonymous is. I won’t believe Jaeyoon if he just tells me, not that he ever would. I want to figure out who Anonymous is so I can understand why they’re always hiding their identity. I want to prove that they did or did not hire Manseok. I just… I need to figure it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?!” Taeyang begged, his demeanor crashing just as much as Youngkyun’s had. “Why can’t… Youngkyun. We talked about adopting after things calmed down, right? Do you really think things will ever calm down if you look into things like this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what happens if we don’t?!” Youngkyun challenged, raising his chin. “Whoever tried to kill us used the same method Manseok used to kill those eleven people, and Manseok said he believed Dawon did it. But I still don’t think Dawon did it and it’s weird that whoever it was used poison just like Manseok did. What if it was Anonymous, too?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s- you’re just wildly assuming things at this point!” Taeyang called out at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then help me prove my theory wrong!” Youngkyun begged, stepping forward. “If I don’t know who Anonymous is, how can I just assume it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> him? Help me figure out who it is so I know for sure it wasn’t him! And while we do that, Sanghyuk tries to get evidence that Jaeyoon is abusing Inseong, and if he doesn’t then I’m wrong! And if I’m wrong, I will step up to Jaeyoon and admit everything and apologize for it. But until I know for sure… I just… I can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang stayed silent as he stared down at the ground. Slowly, with his arm shaking slightly, he brought his phone up. And with a sound that rang throughout the entire house, he dropped it on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t agree with your theories,” Taeyang mumbled softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” Youngkyun told him quickly, stepping closer to him with a small amount of hesitation. “Can you just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Youngkyun could finish getting the words out, Taeyang was wrapping his arms around Youngkyun’s frame, pulling him into a hug so tight Youngkyun thought he might never breathe again. He felt his arms freezing as Taeyang laid his head in the crook of his neck, slowly letting his arms fall to wrap around Taeyang’s back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not angry,” Taeyang whispered, pulling Youngkyun even closer to him. “You thought I’d be mad, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand how you’re not,” Youngkyun mumbled, pulling his arms tighter around Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I understand why you didn’t tell me. I just… I didn’t know you thought about all of that stuff and… I still don’t think any of it is true. But I know you do. I can tell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Tae,” Youngkyun mumbled, burying his nose in Taeyang’s neck. “Thank you for not being mad and believing me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me that from now on, if anything else about Jaeyoon or Anonymous comes up, you’ll tell me,” Taeyang negotiated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t hesitate this time. “I promise.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Not Thinking The Bad Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It makes sense,” Youngkyun told Taeyang with a shrug, bouncing his shoulders as he reached up to push his specs up slightly higher on his nose. “See?” he asked, pulling the papers in front of him together into one neat stack before handing them across the dining table to Taeyang. Taeyang reached across, taking them easily and looking at all of them. “These are all donations we know or sure were made by Anonymous, right? Obviously, they were in the news,” Youngkyun asked, answering the question for himself. “But look at the account numbers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well obviously they’re all different,” Taeyang admitted, sifting through the papers. “It makes sense that Anonymous wouldn’t just continue to sponsor from a single account. Even Dawon does the same thing like he did with that strip club almost three weeks ago. After he transfers the money, he strips the account and makes a new one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe Dawon robbed a fucking strip club,” Youngkyun mumbled under his breath, fighting the urge to use Sanghyuk’s name in place of his cover name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So do you want to figure out what other of the sponsorships and donations were from Anonymous?” Taeyang asked, tapping the edges of the papers against the surface of the table to collect them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, or at least I want to try,” Youngkyun admitted. “So all the ones we don’t know of, we should go through and question ourselves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a lot of work,” Taeyang mumbled with a pout, handing the papers back to Youngkyun. Youngkyun took them quickly, placing them by his side. “I have eight accounts I think we need to actually investigate. The rest I can track and check easily enough, but these donations don’t look at all familiar to me,” Youngkyun told him, letting his eyes glaze over the mounds of papers in front of him as if that would really give him all the answers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are they all Korean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Korean account numbers start with ‘B’ for the country code identification, right?” Youngkyun asked, looking across the table. Taeyang nodded. “Well… five of them do. I don’t know the country codes for the other ones by heart, I’ll have to look them up,” Youngkyun admitted, dropping the papers he held in his hand to sink down in his chair. “But the good news is the five Korean accounts are all registered with Shinhan Bank’s SWIFT code. Lucky for us, because that’s the bank we use! So it’s easier to figure out.” He could hear the rain pouring outside, tapping against the dark windows with a constant drum. It was relaxing, and kind of helped him focus, but at the same time it made him tired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Him and Taeyang had been sifting through documents for Jaeyoon’s donations and sponsorships for about three hours now, only just finally dwindling it all down to eight unidentifiable accounts. The rest Youngkyun had checked with folders he had brought home from the office and verified, which is what took most of the time. Taeyang did the same, going through them and checking them all out. To be honest, Youngkyun was surprised there were only eight he couldn’t identify. He had found six of them while Taeyang found two of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lucky us,” Taeyang mentioned with a lighthearted laugh. “What are the country codes for the other accounts?” Taeyang asked, pulling out his phone to look them up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s two accounts beginning with GB and one with FR,” Youngkyun told him, eyes barely skimming over the papers. He had the accounts memorized anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FR is for France, I know that,” Taeyang told him without hesitation, only causing Youngkyun’s brows to furrow in confusion. Why would anyone be donating from France? There had been a few accounts from Japan, the Philippines, and Thailand, but who the hell was donating from France? “And GB stands for ‘Great Britain’ I guess, which means England.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know Great Britain is England,” Youngkyun told him with a small laugh, sinking even deeper into his chair. “But who the hell is donating from England and France? I want to check those ones, definitely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are the other ones?” Taeyang asked, grabbing a small sticky note from the pad by his side, twirling a pen between his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have B071, B773, B983, B718, and B616,” Youngkyun listened off, shifting between the papers quickly and finding the numbers without hesitation. “I don’t want to list off the rest of all five of those numbers. They’re long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to write them all down anyways,” Taeyang told him with a gentle laugh, taking the sticky note and sticking it to the top of the papers he had right in front of them. “I think that’s enough to start with, though. We have eight accounts to investigate and plenty of confirmed donations to look into,” he listed off, stretching his arms into the air and letting out a small moan as he stretched his back out. “I think… we should take a break,” he suggested with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Break?” Youngkyun asked, raising his brows with a smile. “What exactly did you have in mind for a break?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, first of all,” Taeyang started, pushing himself out of the chair he had been sitting in for hours now. “I’m calling it a break but I’m done for the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Understood,” Youngkyun agreed with a giggle, stretching his arms up with a smile. Sitting and going through paperwork this much was beyond stressful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How about a movie?” Taeyang suggested, leaning his arms on the table as he tilted his head at Youngkyun. “And by ‘a movie’ I mean cuddling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm that’s a lot to ask for,” Youngkyun teased with a straight face, pursing his lips as he pretended to weigh his options. Before he could make his pretend decision, Taeyang was already scooping him up in his arms. Youngkyun screamed as Taeyang lifted him effortlessly into the air, carrying him over to the stairs before putting Youngkyun down with a sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Walk up the stairs yourself! You’re heavy!” Taeyang told him, taking in a breath of air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun gaped at him, slapping him playfully on the shoulder as Taeyang ran ahead of him up the stairs. Youngkyun rolled his eyes as he followed his husband. As he made his way up to the bedroom door, all he could see was Taeyang jumping into the air and coming down into the blankets piled up on the bed, creating a mess of the bed he had just catapulted himself into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smirked to himself, fixing his stance. “Move!” he yelled, running as fast as he could into the room and jumping into the air. Taeyang barely had time to roll out of the way before Youngkyun was coming down onto the mattress in a fit of giggles, instantly attacked by Taeyang who pinned him down with a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You almost crushed me!” he accused with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I warned you,” Youngkyun defended smugly, lifting his head to peck Taeyang on the lips before pushing himself off the bed and moving over to grab the TV remote. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As expected, the movie they chose was a Disney movie. It had been a vote between Tangled or Mulan, but ultimately Tangled had won. Youngkyun had to stress, however, that the only reason Tangled won was because that was Taeyang’s favorite movie, and Youngkyun had an issue about refusing Taeyang things that made him happy. Taeyang liked to say he could “relate” to the movie because he saw himself as nothing dimmer than the sun in the sky, not that Youngkyun did either. He liked to brag about how cool he was being featured in the movie, and though it was insufferable and quite frankly impossible to make it through the movie without at least one of those comments, Youngkyun conceded and gave Taeyang the remote anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which one of us is Rapunzel and Flynn?” Taeyang suddenly asked, blinking at the screen as both of the main characters in question ran from a falling boulder as the water from the broken damn came rushing towards them. Youngkyun shifted in Taeyang’s embrace, his head cradled against Taeyang’s chest while Taeyang held his arm around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Youngkyun asked, watching the screen. “In this scene who is more like who?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No I mean in general,” Taeyang clarified. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you’re definitely Rapunzel,” Youngkyun said without hesitation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I top,” Taeyang defended, shifting his head to look down at Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay but so what? You’re nothing like Flynn. I totally am,” Youngkyun retorted, cuddling deeper into Taeyang’s side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In what ways are you like Flynn?” Taeyang asked with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s see,” Youngkyun began, watching the scene unfold on the screen. “I’m handsome. I’m your dream man. I’ve definitely robbed someone of something at at least one point in my life-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, how does that even make your top five reasons?!” Taeyang asked with a laugh, his chest bouncing with it underneath Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because that’s Flynn’s whole character! The story literally revolves around him being a criminal!” Youngkyun pointed out, pushing himself into a sitting position to look at Taeyang while he spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay yeah but Flynn has so many other character traits that you definitely could have gone to before criminal,” Taeyang told him with a laugh. “What about his hair? His cocky attitude about literally everything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And his soft side!” Taeyang continued. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait go back to what you said before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang giggled as he leaned up to press his lips quickly to Youngkyun’s. “And I don’t know I just think Flynn would be an excellent kisser. So you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you thinking about kissing Flynn Rider?” Youngkyun asked, raising his eyebrow and tilting his head at the boy. “I’m right here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was trying to compliment you and you’re getting jealous at yourself,” Taeyang mumbled, shaking his head in awe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m jealous of Flynn Rider now!” Youngkyun told him, jabbing his chin at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t we all?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay listen smartass,” Youngkyun told him, pushing him down into the mattress before laying himself back on his chest. “I’m just sitting here trying to enjoy the movie and you’re absolutely ruining it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang smirked, shifting onto his side so Youngkyun’s head dropped to just Taeyang’s arm. Youngkyun turned his head to the side to pout at him, but Taeyang just tilted his head a bit more. “Should I ruin it a bit more?” he asked, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Youngkyun’s. It was a sweet kiss, and Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to accept it. He moved his hand to Taeyang’s face sweetly before Taeyang pulled away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You always manage to ruin this movie in one way or another,” Youngkyun mumbled at him before Taeyang was pressing their lips together again, biting his lip before pulling away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up or I’ll stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who said I wanted you to stop?” Youngkyun asked, moving his other arm to hang around Taeyang’s neck as he moved to press their lips together again. Taeyang reached over Youngkyun carefully, grabbing the TV remote from the side of the bed and turning the TV off with a single click of a button, discarding the remote somewhere else—Youngkyun didn’t really care where it went. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Taeyang moved more over him, kissing him against the bed with his elbow propped to keep him up while his other hand laid on Youngkyun’s hip. Youngkyun pressed into the kiss a little bit more, pulling Taeyang closer to him as he melted into the feeling of Taeyang pressing against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang’s hand began to slowly slip under Youngkyun’s shirt, riding it up on his body, but his hand froze as the sound of the doorbell rang throughout the house. Taeyang pulled away from their kiss, Youngkyun sinking into the pillow with his eyes still closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If that’s Sanghyuk I’ll actually kill him,” Youngkyun grumbled under his breath, feeling Taeyang shift so he wasn’t as on top of him anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it’s Sanghyuk, tell him we’re busy,” Taeyang told him, leaving Youngkyun sitting in front of him, mouth agape. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh so I have to go answer the door?” he asked, raising his brows as the sound of the doorbell continued to ring throughout the house without pause. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was your friend first,” Taeyang told him, pulling the blanket up on himself and hiding under it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Asshole,” Youngkyun mumbled with a pout, leaving a smiling Taeyang behind in bed as he pushed himself up, tromping downstairs with no smile on his face. He was really going to kill Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reached the door quickly, pulling it open only for it to be thrown open as Sanghyuk came strutting in with a smile on his face. “It’s about time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please leave,” Youngkyun begged with his teeth bared together. “It’s almost eleven at night. Go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here too!” Chanhee cheered from behind him with an innocent smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great, then you two can go home together,” Youngkyun suggested with a pained smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aww,” Sanghyuk cooed at him, pinching Youngkyun’s cheek as he continued to make cute noises at him, pulling his cheek around while Youngkyun tried to restrain himself from hitting the older boy. “Was someone having sexy time with Taeyang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Youngkyun seethed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s too bad,” Sanghyuk told him, letting go of his cheek as he let himself inside. Chanhee followed him with a smile as Youngkyun closed his eyes, willing himself to stay sane as he closed the door behind them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least take off your wet jackets so you’re not dripping all over my floor,” Youngkyun mumbled at them as they took their shoes off by the front door. “Am I fetching Taeyang for you on this fine evening?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that would be fantastic,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile, bouncing further into the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang!” he called, too lazy to go back up the stairs. “They’re not leaving! Come on down!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang was down in just a few seconds, glaring at Sanghyuk. “If I ask nicely will you please go home?” he tried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean feel free to go back upstairs and finish fucking if you need to that bad,” Sanghyuk suggested, glancing briefly at the dining table covered in Xang and Jaeyoon’s files before turning around to face the two of you. “You guys can just come downstairs after. We don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I kind of mind,” Chanhee interrupted, raising his hand a bit. “I’m not as fucked up as him. I don’t really want to hear that shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could always leave,” Youngkyun suggested, shrugging his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We came all the way here. Why would we leave?” Chanhee asked, smiling bittersweetly at Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what are you guys here for?” Taeyang asked, coming up to Youngkyun’s side and throwing his arm around his shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To show you the news,” Sanghyuk told them, pulling his lips into a smile before dropping it quickly, making his way around the two boys to help himself to their TV remote. He turned it on quickly, jumping onto the couch and making himself more than comfortable. Chanhee made his way over quickly after, jumping over the back of the couch as if it wasn’t brand new and plopping into the spot right next to Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two boys came over as Sanghyuk turned the TV on, Youngkyun folding his arms on the back of the couch and leaning into it as Taeyang just placing his hands on the back, fingers curling into the fabric. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Sanghyuk to find a news station he needed, apparently, since every station was talking about the same story. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Memorial of the late politician Lee Jungsik was vandalized earlier tonight. The culprit has not yet been found or caught, and all CCTV for the area has been destroyed or covered up and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Taeyang mumbled, his hand coming to hold over his mouth. “That’s… that’s Jaeyoon’s dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No shit,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pulling his lips into a straight line as he drew everyone’s attention back to the TV. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Jungsik’s son, Lee Jaeyoon, has so far made no comment on the vandalism, nor has he shown his face in the hours since the event has occurred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’d think they’d at least give him a fucking break,” Youngkyun mumbled, taking in a deep breath as he watched the screen. “That’s his dad’s memorial.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it Dawon?” Taeyang asked, looking to Sanghyuk for answers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it wasn’t,” Sanghyuk told him calmly, lifting the remote to shut off the TV. “Whoever it was just did it and left.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why vandalize it now?” Youngkyun asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “That memorial has been up for over a decade now, and everyone loved him!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t!” Sanghyuk argued, spinning around on his couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah,” Chanhee agreed, following suit. “He’s kind of indirectly the reason both of our dads are dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay but everyone but you two cynical assholes loved him,” Youngkyun corrected with a pout. “That sucks. Maybe they’ll be able to put parts of it back together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see the video?” Taeyang asked, lifting an eyebrow. “That memorial was totalled. I’ll be shocked if they even did more than just clean it up since it’s been so long since his death.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we call Jaeyoon?” Youngkyun asked, turning to face Taeyang with a certain amount of settled weight in his chest. “I won’t make that decision with everything I’ve said lately. It’s your call.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go by his house,” Taeyang suggested, lifting his hand to place it on Youngkyun’s shoulder. “Just in case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, take Taeyang to his car real quick,” Sanghyuk mumbled, aiming his head at the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?” Taeyang asked, looking around the group. He turned sharply to Sanghyuk. “I know everything! I know about how you think Jaeyoon is abusing Inseong and how you think Anonymous is doing everything! Stop leaving me out of everything!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I include you in this, then?” Sanghyuk asked, raising his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk don’t say anything you’ll regret-” Youngkyun mumbled, his breath coming to a halt when Sanghyuk turned to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon has never once visited that memorial,” Sanghyuk spat out into the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what?” Chanhee asked, furrowing his brows at Taeyang. “The anniversary of both Sanghyuk and I’s parents is in just two days and we </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> go to visit after all these years. Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that Jaeyoon has </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> visited that memorial?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone deals with grief in a different way,” Taeyang defended quickly, moving away from the couch to the door. Youngkyun moved quickly, chasing after him, only to watch as Taeyang grabbed his coat. He could hear Sanghyuk and Chanhee running up behind him. “All of you are so quick to judge Jaeyoon. Can any of you even imagine his life?” Taeyang asked, looking down to zipper his jacket closed. “His dad’s memorial is in public. Don’t tell me you don’t cry and say private things when you go to visit your parents. You think he’d be able to do that if he went? He’s so famous he’d be bombarded by cameras and pictures of him crying would be all over the fucking news! As it is now, the news doesn’t care about his father’s vandalized memorial, they only care that Jaeyoon hasn’t said something about it yet. You guys should think before you just pile on accusations towards him. Let’s go Youngkyun,” Taeyang finished, pulling his coat tight around himself, grabbing the car keys, and walking out the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed as the sound of the door closing echoed throughout the house, ringing in his ears. He closed his eyes as he dropped his head to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He really believes in Jaeyoon, doesn’t he?” Chanhee asked gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk why did you have to say that?” Youngkyun asked in a small whine, looking to his side but not completely over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I have just kept it from him like we did with everything else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Incase you’ve forgotten,” Youngkyun snapped at him, spinning around and looking him dead in the eyes. “We still </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> keeping everything from him. I still have to lie to him. So unless you have a solution, I suggest you constrain yourself from making decisions about what he does and does not know. I’m trying my best!” Youngkyun defended, biting his lip as he turned around, quickly slipping his arms through the sleeves of his coat. “Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. Or leave. I don’t care,” Youngkyun mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… we did think about it,” Chanhee mumbled in a gentle voice, so low that Youngkyun almost mistook it for the voice of a hurt child. “But Jaeyoon became a ‘hero’ in 2010. His father passed in 2007. And still… there’s no proof he ever went to that memorial.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And there’s no proof he didn’t,” Youngkyun mumbled, pulling up the collar of his coat. “Just… keep your accusations to yourselves until you have something that you can at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>argue</span>
  </em>
  <span> beyond a suspicion. Please,” he mumbled, not looking back at them as he opened the door to his house, closing it behind him as he made his way out to the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are they coming?” Taeyang asked, blinking at Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go make sure Jaeyoon is okay,” Youngkyun told him, not answering his question. Taeyang’s lips twitched into a small smile as he got into the driver’s seat, waiting for Youngkyun to buckle himself in before backing out of the driveway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” Taeyang asked, not taking his eyes off the road as he drove. “Do you think Jaeyoon really never went to visit his father’s memorial? Do you… think that’s a bad thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to think anymore,” Youngkyun admitted with a sigh, leaning his head against the window of the car. “I’m tired of thinking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Taeyang admitted, taking one hand off the wheel and grabbing Youngkyun’s, locking their fingers together. “Can we just… not think for tonight? Just for tonight?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course,” Youngkyun agreed quietly, squeezing Taeyang’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They arrived at Jaeyoon’s house to see most of the rooms in the large house lit. Youngkyun didn’t expect Jaeyoon to be awake, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>certainly</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t expect every light in the house to be on for someone who lived alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They got out of the car together, walking up to the door carefully. Youngkyun wouldn’t think for today. He wouldn’t let his broad assumptions about Jaeyoon control anything he did now. He promised Taeyang. He wouldn’t think for the rest of tonight. No thinking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang rang the doorbell gently, but after two minutes of waiting, still nobody opened the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I ring it again?” Taeyang asked, looking to Youngkyun nervously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t trust him to answer it,” Youngkyun told him without hesitation. He wasn’t sure what his plan was, but it definitely didn’t end with him just pressing down on the door handle and the door opening with no hesitation. But that’s what happened. It just… opened. “Uhh…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this technically considered breaking into his house?” Taeyang whispered, leaning his body close to Youngkyun’s so he wouldn’t have to raise his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… technically he left it unlocked… so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then trespassing?” Taeyang asked, raising his brows at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun only shrugged, stepping through the threshold of the door. “It’s not like he doesn’t know who we are,” he explained with an unsteady voice. He continued to let himself inside, Taeyang closing the door gently behind him. “Jaeyoon?!” Youngkyun called out, his voice echoing throughout the house as he stepped further inside it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every hair on his skin stood up straight when he heard the crash of glass from upstairs. Taeyang tried to grab onto his sleeve to stop him, but it was too late. Youngkyun was already sprinting upstairs, blood rushing through his veins as he began to panic at the sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON?!” he called out louder, running up the stairs as fast as he could as Taeyang sprinted to catch up behind him. He was on the second floor landing before he even had a chance to take in a breath of air, rushing right up to Jaeyoon’s bedroom door and banging on it loudly. “JAEYOON OPEN THE DOOR!” he yelled, bashing his fist against it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, stop!” Taeyang called after him, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Youngkyun yelled, pulling his arm free from Taeyang’s grasp. “He could be hurt!” he argued, pushing down on the handle of the door and swinging it open with much less resistance than he thought he would have. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun almost felt himself freeze when he saw Jaeyoon standing in the middle of the room, the frame of his wall mirror laying on its side with glass shards spread around the entire floor. Specks of blood decorated a small, almost unnoticeable patch on the floor. Youngkyun noticed it, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus christ,” he mumbled, letting himself into the room as Jaeyoon bit his lip. He grabbed onto Jaeyoon’s shoulders firmly, holding him in front of him so he could look over every inch of him. His eyes burned red with tears, bloodshot and swollen from crying. His lips were a bit puffy, presumably also from crying. His cheeks were flushed red, stained with tears and his hair stood up in every direction, pulled and yanked in every possible uncomfortable way. His fingernails were chipped and his knuckles were scraped up. Scabs began forming on the tips of his fingers as parts of them still burned red. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Youngkyun stuttered out, letting his eyes drift around the rest of Jaeyoon’s body. “Are you hurt? I know you’re hurt,” he rambled, his eyes flickering to the blood on the floor. He turned Jaeyoon around in front of him, but Jaeyoon quickly turned back around to face him with a shake of his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I’m fine, I’m not hurt.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun continued to look over every inch of Jaeyoon. But no matter how hard he tried… Jaeyoon was right. He wasn’t bleeding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But… but the glass,” Youngkyun stuttered, grabbing Jaeyoon’s banged up hand and bringing it closer to his face to observe it. His knuckles were scraped up but there wasn’t a single fresh cut on them. He dropped his hand quickly, taking a step back as he took in every detail of him. “You… you didn’t get cut?” Youngkyun asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon pulled his lips into a thin line, shaking his head as Taeyang moved forward, pulling Jaeyoon into his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there was blood on the floor. Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun reached out to grab Jaeyoon’s hand, to pull him back toward him, but his fingers stopped as he was only centimeters away from grabbing it. The blood on his hand was dried from scrapes and cuts along his knuckles. It had to have happened at least two hours ago to look like that now, but there were wet drops of blood speckled across the floor that even Taeyang had seemed to miss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun lifted his eyes to Jaeyoon, snug in Taeyang’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t going to think tonight. No, he wasn’t going to think. There was no reason Sanghyuk had said what he said about Jaeyoon never going to his father’s memorial before. There was no reason to bring it up. And there were definitely no thoughts in Youngkyun’s head, because he wasn’t thinking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon are you sure you’re not hurt?” Youngkyun asked, looking around the rest of the room. It wasn’t just the mirror that was destroyed. The blankets on his bed were scrunched up and strewn about; one part of it even seemed to be ripped. The bedside table was tipped over onto its side, the alarm clock and picture frame toppled onto the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not hurt… I promise,” Jaeyoon mumbled, still held in Taeyang’s arms. But Youngkyun wasn’t even looking at them anymore, his eyes drifting around the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blood on Jaeyoon’s hands was dried. There was fresh blood on the floor. The room was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>disaster</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Jaeyoon hadn’t even answered the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun followed the way the mirror had fallen, almost blocking the door to Jaeyoon’s closet as it laid in its way. The blood dripped right before where it had landed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon… why is your mirror broken?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, who cares?” Taeyang mumbled, pulling away from Jaeyoon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just want to know how you hit it so hard that it broke,” Youngkyun explained easily. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A lie. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t trust him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “It looks painful and your hands…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why is the blood on them dry?</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he finished, pulling his lips together tightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I’m… I’m okay,” Jaeyoon told him, offering him a small, innocent smile. “I threw it to the ground when I got mad.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Then why is there blood on the ground if you just threw it? Where did the blood come from?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The important thing is that you’re okay,” Taeyang mumbled, grabbing onto Jaeyoon again. But Youngkyun still couldn’t tear his eyes from the mirror. He didn’t like the sour taste it left in his mouth or the bad feeling is left in his chest. It sunk like a drop of ink sinking and infecting a cup of clean water. It sunk all the way to the bottom of his stomach, branching out to turn his clean water into a murky grey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thought hit him like a brick, and he wanted to tell himself not to think about it, not not think anything. But it was too late. Youngkyun had already had the thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Jaeyoon wasn’t hurt… then that wasn’t his blood on the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt like there was a belt tied around his lungs, constricting his breath as his eyes refused to be torn from the mirror. Someone got cut on that mirror when it crashed and fell only seconds before Youngkyun pushed the door open. Which meant…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his eyes lifting to the closet as dread filled his stomach. He almost wanted to stumble back out of the room, his eyes flickering to Jaeyoon who was still cradled in Taeyang’s arms. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Everything was happening too fast. His thoughts were running too quickly, spiraling out of control but linking together in his mind to connect every stray dot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon hadn’t answered the door when Taeyang rang the bell… because he wasn’t alone. Because whoever else was here wasn’t supposed to be here. Because he didn’t want anyone to know. Whoever else was here had cut themselves on the fallen mirror. Whoever it was… was in Jaeyoon’s closet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt the air leaving his lungs as every thread holding him together untwined and snapped apart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon had someone hidden in his closet. Jaeyoon was pretending he didn’t right in front of his closest friends. Jaeyoon was hiding things from them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t take a breath even when he tried. He didn’t want to admit that he knew who was in the closet, but who else could it have possibly been? Youngkyun’s fingers twitched by his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What would happen if he walked over to the closet and flung the door open right now? Would Jaeyoon have to tell them the truth? Would Taeyang believe him? But… what if he was wrong? What if he missed something? But what if he didn’t?! What if he was hiding behind the door to the closet now, scared and alone. What if he was bleeding in there and nobody was helping him because he had to stay hidden? What if… Youngkyun would only hurt him more? Every bad thought he had about Jaeyoon was racing to the front of his mind now, every doubt coming forward to slam itself into him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon abused Inseong. Jaeyoon lied to his closest friends. Jaeyoon… could know about Anonymous. Jaeyoon was doing bad things without telling the world. Jaeyoon was </span>
  <em>
    <span>playing</span>
  </em>
  <span> himself off as a hero when he did this behind everyone’s backs. Jaeyoon… </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> a hero. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun… are you okay?” Jaeyoon asked suddenly, but Youngkyun honestly felt like he was going to throw up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had been right. Every curse he had thrown at Jaeyoon had been rightful and Youngkyun had always just summed down his antics to being overdramatic. Because Jaeyoon couldn’t have been the monster Sanghyuk played him up to be. Sanghyuk was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>biased</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But… but he wasn’t. Sanghyuk had never lied about anything. Sanghyuk had told the truth every single goddamn time and Youngkyun had never taken him seriously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had never lied to him once and yet Youngkyun had still gone and befriended Jaeyoon. He had let Jaeyoon into his home and his life. But Jaeyoon still lied to him. He lied to him now, standing in his husband’s arms. He lied through his teeth with a worried expression as if he didn’t have someone in his closet, hidden away from the two of them the second they rang the doorbell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every word of concern Jaeyoon held towards him now made his stomach twist inside him, his gut shriveling up with all of the lies he had been fed for the past three years of his life. How long had Jaeyoon lied to them? What else had he lied about? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was obvious now why there were dried scrapes all over his hands and fingers. Some stranger hadn’t destroyed Jungsik’s memorial… it had been Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon knew the place by heart, every camera and every weak spot. Nobody had better access to it than him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he had destroyed it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun turned to look at Jaeyoon, but he couldn’t stop staring at the tears streaming down his face now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why was he really crying?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did Youngkyun feel like he had to take a step back now? Why, all of a sudden, did Youngkyun feel more than just distrust for his friend. He hadn’t even given him a chance to explain, and yet he felt like he didn’t need to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to clean up the glass,” Youngkyun mumbled, his voice coming out his scratchy bits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… what?” Taeyang asked, furrowing his brows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want Jaeyoon to step on it,” Youngkyun mumbled, lying through his teeth as he looked down at it. “I want to clean it up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun you don’t look very good,” Jaeyoon commented, looking toward him with a worried expression. Was he acting now? Was he genuine? Youngkyun felt like, for the first time in forever, he couldn’t tell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should take Jaeyoon down stairs to get some water,” he mumbled, looking down at the ground. “I’ll clean everything up for him. Just… make sure he eats something too,” Youngkyun mumbled toward Taeyang. When he looked up to Jaeyoon, he could see his eyes wide with shock. Was it really shock, though, or had Youngkyun just been reading him wrong this whole time?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, are you sure?” Taeyang asked, wrapping his arm around Jaeyoon’s arm and looking to him with a worried expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun forced his lips into a gentle smile, as much as he could force one into his expression. “You know how much I don’t like anything sharp laying around at times like these,” he mumbled. Youngkyun felt shitty bringing that up now, using it as an excuse to get Taeyang to take Jaeyoon downstairs. But it worked. Taeyang pulled Jaeyoon out of the room with him, and Youngkyun didn’t miss the way Jaeyoon looked back at him with wide eyes as he was pulled out of sight of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Youngkyun was wrong… he didn’t even know what he was going to do. He had let himself become filled with so much fear and dread now because of every thought floating around his head. If he was wrong now… he would reveal everything. He was willing to bet everything on his assumptions now. If he was wrong… he would tell them everything to stop him from thinking anything like this ever again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun took careful steps across the glass, making sure to avoid the specs of blood as he approached the closet. He was so scared of being wrong. But all he could do now was to prove it to himself. Only then could he do anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just me,” he whispered, his forehead coming to rest against the wall. “I promise… it’s just me,” he continued, raising his hand gently. With a held breath, he let his knuckles fall to the wall. He knocked twice, quietly enough that the sound wouldn’t even travel outside of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his heart sinking in his chest every second of silence that followed. His breath held in his lungs. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he had just overreacted and had gone too far. Jaeyoon was a good person. Jaeyoon was his friend. Jaeyoon was a hero. Jaeyoon was everything he had always been. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed with a shaky breath as he let his hand fall to the wall of the closet, his lips pulling back in a grimace. He wouldn’t go any further than this to prove anything. He wouldn’t force someone who kept silent so well to come out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled his forehead away from the wall with another sigh, pulling his arms around himself as he backed away from the closet. He was wrong. There was nothing there. Nobody was there. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn’t there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned, his body moving towards the door as he felt his nerves caving in on him. He had been wrong and he had made Jaeyoon out to be so terrible because of it. In truth… he knew nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as Youngkyun took another step forward, his breath came out of his lips, his lungs holding as the sound rang through his ears, beating against his heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two knocks from within the closet.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. And Nobody Ever Bothered to Wonder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oh!” Chanhee said, bouncing up with a bright smile on his face as he tried to keep in pace with Sanghyuk. His hair bounced up and down with him as he popped his shoulders, giddy with excitement. “She doesn’t know about Inseong at all! We have to tell her! She’ll be so happy to know you have another friend!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled fondly, tilting his head to the side a bit with a hint of blush to his cheeks as he walked by Chanhee’s side, his hands clasped behind his back, flowers in hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By now, almost all of the leaves were gone from the trees. Soon it would snow, and this forest trail would be nothing but hibernating trees with dead looking branches, filled with greys and whites until the season ended. And yet somehow, though the weather was turning brutally cold, the trees here seemed completely untouched. They glowed with bright orange leaves, mixed with the browns like an elegant bouquet on the top of every tree. The ground they walked on was covered in a colorful array of untouched orange and brown, sunlight streaming through the gaps in the trees and lighting everything up in sparkling patches. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You act like she’s sad with my life,” Sanghyuk mumbled, still keeping his smile up as he continued to walk forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying… I’m sure she’d be happy to know you actually went out of your way to talk to someone outside the family that isn’t Youngbin,” Chanhee pitched in with a snort, holding his bouquet of flowers in front of him with a childish, happy smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like the walk through the trees had been far shorter than he remembered, but then again it always did. The buildup to get where he was going, and every year it wasn’t enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Momma!” Chanhee called with a happy smile, running ahead of Sanghyuk with his arms almost outstretched as he raced over to the twin trees, standing tall and healthy at the very edge of the park area, far out of the way of any tourists and wanderers. Hell, the path leading to them was starting to fill with weeds and dead twigs, not as taken care of as the rest of the area for sure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee disregarded the neat back dress pants he wore, skidding to a stop in front of the trees like a baseball player making it to first base. He barely caught himself with his hands, but he didn’t seem phased at all as he scooted to center himself in front of the tree on the right, crossing his legs in front of him. Of course, Sanghyuk knew dressing him up was practically useless, but he had made a point of doing it anyways, just to prove to his own parents that he could take care of the younger boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you and dad doing well?” he asked, his smile still wide across his face as he took the bouquet in front of him, holding it gingerly in his hands. “Well, you better be!” he scolded, pulling apart the bow around the wrapping of the bouquet. “If you’re not doing well you might have a heart attack hearing what Hyuk and I have been through in the past year,” he added with a laugh, discarding the bow and wrapping to his side as he pulled the bundle of flowers into his hands. “Did you just hear that Mom?” Chanhee called out, turning his head to the tree to the left. “Your son might give my momma a heart attack! Gosh, you should control him more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s your job,” Sanghyuk told Chanhee with a small laugh, coming up by his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t let Mom hear that,” Chanhee told him with a laugh, pulling the flowers in front of him and picking one beautiful pink one out of the bunch, snapping the stem to shorten it. “I think she expects you to take care of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe this, Mom?” Sanghyuk asked, turning toward the left tree. “He expects me to take care of him now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watch it or my momma will kick your ass,” Chanhee threatened, placing the flower at the base of the tree, moving to snap the stem of the next flower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled with only one side of his lips before folding his hands in front of him, holding the bouquet as comfortably as he could. He bowed at a complete 90 degrees to the right tree before straightening his back. “I’m sorry I let your son turn out this way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Chanhee called with narrowed eyes, spinning around to glare at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk raised his eyebrows at Chanhee quickly, giving him a cocky smile as the younger boy turned back around to face the tree in front of him. “Momma, Mom, Dad, are you listening? Daddy, you can listen too if you want, but only if Momma lets you.” Sanghyuk rolled his eyes with a smile as Chanhee spoke. “Guess what? Hyuk made a new friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Crazy, isn’t it?” Sanghyuk asked with a laugh, trying to focus his eyes on Chanhee only to fail as they flickered up to the left most tree. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean… of course they didn’t exactly meet in the best of circumstances,” Chanhee admitted, snapping the stem of another flower as he placed it at the base of the tree. “But what else can we expect from him? Right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re making me sound bad,” Sanghyuk whined, causing Chanhee to laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His name is Inseong. Although, Dad,” he started, turning to the left tree. “I’m not sure if you would approve of him, but I’m sure since he makes Hyuk happy, you would.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does anyone need to approve of who I’m friends with?” Sanghyuk asked, pouting his lips at Chanhee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee ignored him. “Inseong is dating Jaeyoon, Jungsik’s son,” Chanhee explained, snapping another flower stem. The water from them was getting all over his clothes and his hands were soaked in dirty flower water, but the boy didn’t even seem to notice. That, or he didn’t give a damn. “But he’s really sweet. He works with Hyuk at a cafe, and you know how Hyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves</span>
  </em>
  <span> to cook and bake. It makes him really happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can stop now,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his cheeks heating up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hear that Mom?” Chanhee asked, leaning forward to place another flower. “Your son wants me to stop telling you about how happy he’s been in the past few months. I haven’t even seen him have a headache in a while, isn’t that good?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee has only gotten more annoying,” Sanghyuk confessed, shrugging as he sent an apologetic look toward the right tree Chanhee was decorating with flowers. “Sorry Momma.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’d so kick your ass if she could,” Chanhee grumbled, snapping another flower step and tossing the useless part aside, not even looking to see where it landed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d expect nothing less,” Sanghyuk admitted with a smile, watching as Chanhee’s face lit up with a similar smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed by the trees for a good amount of time, Chanhee sitting on the ground while Sanghyuk opted to stand the entire time. They bickered like they usually did, but never did they really fight, never in front of their parent’s trees. It had been sort of a project for them only a few months after they ran away together. They buried their parents' ashes here and planted trees above them to grow as grave markers. Every year they got bigger, and they always stayed healthy. It was Sanghyuk and Chanhee’s way of promising to grow with them, even if they weren’t here anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee had taken a long time to arrange the flower heads the way he wanted them, having to make sure they were absolutely perfect for Momma. Sanghyuk, however, just placed the bouquet as it was in front of the tree representing both of his parents. At first, Sanghyuk had felt guilty that his tree represented both of his parents while Chanhee’s tree only represented his mom, but Chanhee didn’t seem bothered by it at all. He talked to his dad just like he would talk to his mom, only assuming he was there listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee talked most of the time, Sanghyuk just commenting every now and then. He talked about everything they did over the past year, never lying but rather just leaving small details out. Not once did they ever talk about Dawon together like this. Never. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, you’ve been quiet,” Chanhee noticed after a while, tilting his head at the trees. “You never shut the fuck up but now you can’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom doesn’t like it when you swear,” Sanghyuk joked, cutting Chanhee off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think Mom would prefer I swear to get my points through your dense skull,” Chanhee muttered, causing Sanghyuk to chuckle as he leaned his back against the tree. “And you interrupted me! She probably thinks that’s rude! So as I was saying-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard what you said,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile. “I just chose not to acknowledge it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Chanhee told him, popping up to his feet and brushing his pants off, although it was pretty much useless at this point. “I’m gonna go walk around for a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his eyebrows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said I’m gonna go walk around for a few minutes,” Chanhee repeated, smiling. “I’ll be back in a while. This time is yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee didn’t really explain his thoughts any further than that before skipping off, the sunshine practically following him with how happy this particular park made him. Sanghyuk watched him go, left standing in front of the trees with a tied tongue and nothing to say. He turned back to face the trees, the smile dropping from his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying,” he mumbled, looking over to the tree on the right. He gave the tree a sad smile. “I really am… you know that right?” Tears were beginning to build up in his eyes before he could argue against it, but he found little use in trying to stop them now. “I… I really just want him to be happy. I know I fucked up… but I was a kid trying to take care of him. But that’s… that’s hardly an excuse. I should have tried harder, right Momma?” he asked, lifting his head at the right tree again. “I should have done a better job taking care of your son. I should have given him a better life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned his head towards his parents’ tree. “I’m trying to end it,” he mumbled, his voice betraying him and breaking into a nasty crack. “For… for Chanhee. I’m trying but… but it’s hard. I don’t expect you to understand but… I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> use some help right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, moving closer to the tree so he could let his fingers trace over the rough bark. Slowly, he dropped his forehead to press against it. “I just… I feel like everything's falling apart,” he confessed, a single tear sliding down his cheek. “With Inseong… and Jaeyoon. Youngkyun hasn’t called me since he left with Taeyang to go see Jaeyoon and I’ve been too much of a coward to go see him. I should go see him, right? But… I just feel like he’s mad at me for accusing Jaeyoon of such things. It’s hard not to, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed out, pulling his head away from the tree and looking up at it. “You know that, right dad? You know it’s hard? I mean… I don’t remember how you felt towards the Lee family… but you were in a situation where nobody believed you, too. And if I told people now… they really wouldn’t believe me. It’s been eight years… that’s a little long to wait to reveal the truth isn’t it?” he asked, chuckling in a laugh filled with self pity. “I fucked up back then. But… then again… you saw it from up there, right? You saw what happened? Do you… do you really think anyone would believe me now?” he asked, another tear falling down his cheek as he sniffled, more water building up in his eyes. “Nobody would believe me now, right? Even… even Youngkyun wouldn’t believe me now. I think I fucked up so badly this time that even Youngkyun won’t believe me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk closed his eyes, letting the tears flow over the brim of his eyes as he pulled his lips back. “They just… they believed him so easily,” he cried with a small voice, pressing his head back against the tree, fingers curling into it. “Nobody sees what I see… not even Youngkyun. I can’t… I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>make</span>
  </em>
  <span> them see. That’s what I’m trying to- to do… but nobody </span>
  <em>
    <span>believes </span>
  </em>
  <span>me,” he continued to cry, his chest shaking as he sobbed into the bark of the tree, holding himself close to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They just all think he’s the good guy so they think he’s right. But nobody ever- nobody ever bothered to wonder why I’m the bad guy,” he cried, sniffling as he pulled his lips back again. “They never wondered… and because of that they’ll never believe me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[September 14, 2011] [Eight years ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 16, Chanhee is 11, Jaeyoon is 17]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hoisted his backpack up higher on his shoulder as he walked down the streets. He tried not to bump into people as he walked, but it was sort of becoming hard when his mind was so distracted. “Okay…” he mumbled to himself, ignoring the looks of passing strangers. “If I work at the corner store… assuming they’ll hire me… I can make… somewhere around 125 thousand won in a week… assuming I work fifteen hours in a week which I assume they’d give me less,” Sanghyuk mumbled, counting on his fingers as he multiplied the minimum wage he’d be making by fifteen. “That’s not a lot. I can’t do much with that… </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he whispered, dropping his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk couldn’t work any more hours than fifteen. Not only would no place hire a tenth year student for more than fifteen hours a week when they should be focused on school, Sanghyuk would be lucky if the house caretakers </span>
  <em>
    <span>let</span>
  </em>
  <span> him have a part time job. Not only that, but if Sanghyuk was working, that meant he couldn’t pick Chanhee up from school every day. Of course, Chanhee was old enough now to get on a bus and ride it back to Yua home by himself, but that didn’t mean Sanghyuk wanted to let him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How long would it be until Chanhee got to that point in life where he didn’t want Sanghyuk to pick him up from school? When would he start getting embarrassed that his older brother came to get him every day? As of now, Chanhee didn’t exactly show him off to any of his friends or anything, but rather he met him outside and flashed him a smile, bragging about how well he did in school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Would Chanhee be upset if Sanghyuk couldn’t be there to pick him up anymore? Would he lose that bright smile he always put on his face for him? Sanghyuk didn’t like the idea of that. But they </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> money. As of now, ditching school to hand out flyers for three hours straight just to make 25 thousand won was not getting them anywhere. Sanghyuk was saving it up overtime, but there were only so many times he could ditch school to make a measly 25 thousand won. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And not to mention how every now and then he needed to take some from it to take care of Chanhee. The Yua Home was less than providing for the two of them, doing only the bare minimum. If Chanhee needed a new uniform, the home never offered their hand to pay for it, and Sanghyuk wouldn’t put up the fight for it. He paid for food when Yua Home failed to adequately feed the two of them, and he paid for bus tickets to take Chanhee out when the Yua Home could care less if they died from the boredom of everyday life. And still, Sanghyuk saved up. But it wasn’t enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was almost seventeen now, and when he turned eighteen he would do everything in his power to get his own house and adopt Chanhee as his official brother just to get them both out of the system. But Sanghyuk couldn’t do that if all he made was 125 thousand won a week, maybe less. Over the course of a year, that would amount to </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> six and a half million won if Sanghyuk wasn’t fucking up his mental calculations. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But they lived in Seoul. They would never be able to afford anything there, of course meaning they would need money to get out of the district. If they got far enough away from the cities, perhaps they could find a cheap apartment, but the deposit cost for an apartment was around 23 million won, which was still way over what they would ever be able to afford, taking into account the monthly rent, clothing, and food expenses. And of course, without college and nothing but a highschool diploma, Sanghyuk would never really be able to make anything much higher than thirteen thousand won an hour, he had to guess. That still wouldn’t be enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would never be enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, his whole body deflating with him as he walked. Why was it just so hard to be on his own with Chanhee? Why couldn’t he have that? Why couldn’t he just live alone with Chanhee like he wanted to? Why did society make that so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span> for him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk huffed as he climbed the steps up to the Yua Home. The sky loomed dark above him from the night overcast, and as Sanghyuk pulled the heavy door open, his only thought was how Chanhee was doing. He had picked him up from school today, but left after bringing him to the home to go hand out more flyers. Another 25 thousand won in his pocket that was just as useless as the other bundles of 25 thousand won he had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“STOP IT YOU ASSHOLES!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make us you fucking coward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s bag was off of his shoulders before he had even finished closing the door behind him, dropping it on the ground and running into the house, around the wall dividing the living room from the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HEY!” he screamed into the room, eyes falling on Chanhee’s small frame surrounded by almost every other kid in the home. Chanhee had his head angled to the floor, sitting in a puddle of fire soot. The soot covered his hair and school uniform, staining his skin and smudging on his cheeks where his tears had fallen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk ran over to Chanhee quickly, pushing a kid in his way so hard he toppled over and fell into a bookcase. Sanghyuk didn’t care, sliding by Chanhee’s side and brushing his hair out of his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make it stop,” Chanhee begged, his voice cracking in nothing above a whisper as he pulled his arms insanely tight around himself, more tears falling down his soot covered face. “Please Hyuk… please make it stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned around to glare at the kids around Chanhee, but not a single one of them seemed to regret anything they had done. Their soot covered fingers were easy enough to clean but the sins they lacked the empathy to care about would stay with them forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Sanghyuk mumbled, grabbing Chanhee by the arm and pulling him up. Chanhee resisted, as if he wanted to stay where he was on the ground, humiliated. Sanghyuk sighed, reaching down to pick Chanhee up into his arms, although he was a bit too big. But Chanhee was tired and weak, and Sanghyuk didn’t mind putting in the extra effort to carry him up a flight of stairs to the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he got inside, he locked the door behind himself, turning on the sink and letting the water run until it would warm up. Suited the other kids right if he used up all the hot water now and left none for any of them to shower with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just want it to stop,” Chanhee cried in a whisper, his lips pulled back in a grimace as Sanghyuk grabbed a clean towel from the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have left you…” Sanghyuk mumbled, reaching for the tie of Chanhee’s uniform and quickly untying it, pulling it out and sliding Chanhee’s shirt off. The soot had made a clear outline on his skin where it used to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think… I think you should be able to?” Chanhee cried, hiccuping as his tears fell. “You shouldn’t have to worry about me so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… of course I have to worry,” Sanghyuk told him sternly, grabbing the towel and drenching it under the hot water, ringing it out over the sink. He brought the towel to Chanhee’s face first, gently wiping away the soot, only to realize it easily smudged, leaving Chanhee’s skin covered in a milky grey paste. “You’re my brother,” he continued, as if he wasn’t making everything a whole lot worse. “You’re smaller than half of the kids here for your age and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?!” Chanhee screamed, more tears falling from his eyes. “Hyuk… just because I’m small doesn’t mean they should be throwing fire soot at me! They could do that to anyone! It isn’t because I’m small, it’s because they hate me,” he cried, closing his eyes tightly. “They make fun of me and hurt me whenever you’re not here!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why…” Sanghyuk began, his hand dropping from Chanhee’s face. “Chanhee why didn’t you tell me?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because then you’d stay!” Chanhee cried, crouching down and burying his soot covered face in his soot covered arms, therefore only spreading the soot and having it stick to his now wet face. “You have to go out and get money but you can’t if you always worry so much about me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So they should just be able to do this to you?!” Sanghyuk challenged, dropping the towel to his lap. “Chanhee… I… I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk whined, almost begging him to understand. “I didn’t- I didn’t know. I should have known I just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please can we just go somewhere else?” Chanhee begged, raising his eyes to Sanghyuk’s. His face was stained with black specks of soot and tears and smudged remnants of soot that just looked like grey watercolor paint across his face. “Please… let’s just go away again. I don’t care if we end up in another home until you’re old enough,” he begged, reaching for Sanghyuk’s hand and holding it tightly. “But anywhere but here. Please. Please can we go anywhere but here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee we…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to tell him they didn’t have the money to move. They didn’t have the money to afford bus tickets away from here. They didn’t have enough money to feed them well and cloth them. They couldn’t be sure which homes were good enough, and since Sanghyuk just spent almost everything they had on the new uniform for Chanhee, which was now ruined with soot, they couldn’t afford to end up at another place like this. They just… didn’t have the money to go away again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But with Chanhee crying in front of him like this, Sanghyuk couldn’t tell him no. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got him cleaned up, doing his best to get most of the soot off before sending him into the shower. He tried to scrub the soot out of the white fabric of Chanhee’s uniform, but he knew even scrubbing for hours would only spread it. But Sanghyuk didn’t have the money to pay for another uniform.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tucked Chanhee to bed in his bed for the night, away from the kids his age who would just pick on him later. It wouldn’t be the first time they shared a bed together for comfort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After tucking him in, as cleaned up as he could probably get, Sanghyuk made his way downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, though, he could only sigh in annoyance as he noticed his bag missing from the ground where he had dropped it earlier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JOONSUP!” Sanghyuk yelled his voice booming throughout the home as he stomped into the kitchen. Joonsup sat around the large eating table with Sangchul, Hwasoo, and Eunjung. They all sat around in their pristine uniforms, arms crossed across their chest with smug looks across their faces. “Give me my fucking bag back,” Sanghyuk told them, marching up to the table and slamming his hands down on it. Sanghyuk was good about not losing his temper, but this was really crossing a line for him. This was crossing </span>
  <em>
    <span>several</span>
  </em>
  <span> lines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get mad, remember,” Eungjung warned him with a cocky nose scrunch to make herself appear innocent. “Miss Jang will have your ass for trying anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just threw soot at my little brother and you think I give a shit about what Miss Jang will do?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as he pressed his palms harder into the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He deserved it,” Hwasoo spoke up, shrugging her shoulders. “He’s such a self righteous prick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?!” Sanghyuk challenged, pulling his hands off of the table. “Because he doesn’t want to associate with you fuckers? Yeah, no wonder! He knows he’s better than you and he should fucking say it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watch it, Hyuk,” Sangchul warned, flicking his eyebrows up at him before returning to reading whatever he was so enthralled with on his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that,” Sanghyuk hissed at him, turning to his side to look at Joonsup who just had his feet kicked up on the dining table. “Give me my fucking bag back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you were gone for four hours… and all you have to show for it is 25 thousand won,” Joonsup complimented, his lips moving as his eyes clearly showed he had no interest in addressing the younger by the interest his phone held over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me the fucking money,” Sanghyuk hissed, slamming his hand on the table again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll just split it instead. Thanks Hyuk!” Hwasoo commented, blowing him a pretentious kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Joonsup, give me the money… and my bag… and fuck… off,” Sanghyuk demanded in a low voice, his fingers curling into his palm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What makes you think I’m going to do anything you tell me?” Joonsup asked, barely acknowledging him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was on him without a second of warning, curling his fingers into the collar of Joonsup’s shirt, knocking the chair out from underneath him and pulling at his throat tightly as he fell from the chair, his gasps and quiet yells proof if his wide eyes weren’t enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said: give me… my fucking… </span>
  <em>
    <span>bag</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk hissed at him, bringing his lips right next to Joonsup’s ear as he pulled at his collar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love this, thank you Hyuk!” Eunjung called out to him, the sound of a camera clicking behind him shocking him into losing his focus enough. Joonsup had smashed his fist across Sanghyuk’s face before he had a chance to realize he had lost his focus, dropping Joonsup and falling back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The older boy huffed at him, straightening his jacket. “You’re such a fucking low life,” Joonsup spat at him, watching him with a condescending eyes as Sanghyuk laid on the ground where he had fallen. “Thanks for the allowance,” he added, gesturing with his shoulder for his gang of friends to follow him, which they did without question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That, per say, was how Sanghyuk ended up standing, his back pressed against the back wall of a convenience store, a black gun sitting heavily in the palm of his hands. Getting a gun for free, it seemed, wasn’t so hard when you already knew where to get one. At the moment, he had thanked Miss Jang silently, but now he wasn’t so sure.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could feel his palms and the back of his neck sweating, his hands shaking as he could only look down at the gun in his hand. It felt even heavier with the knowledge that he himself had loaded three bullets in the chamber before he left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I have to get Chanhee and I away from here,” he mumbled to himself, staring down at the gun in his hands. “This is… this is all I can think of. We don’t- I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> right now. People will understand, right?” he asked himself, swallowing. “Mom… Dad… you’ll understand, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded to himself, licking his lips. “I won’t hurt anyone,” he promised himself. “I just… I just need the money.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded to himself again, pulling the plain black face mask higher up to cover his nose, almost brimming the rims of his eyes. He pulled the gun down to his side, shoving it in the pocket of his coat. He took a step toward the store confidently, but within seconds he was backing up, pressing his back against the wall as he breathed out nervously, pulling the gun back out into his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” he mumbled to himself, pressing his forehead against the side of the gun as he closed his eyes. “I can’t do it. No- I have to. I have to… it’s for Chanhee. Chanhee would understand rig- who am I kidding? Chanhee would hate me for this,” he mumbled to himself, not being able to hold onto any one argument too long. “But I have to get us out of here. I can- I mean there has to be another way right? No… not really, this is the only way to get the money we need. But it’s not like I’m doing something ba- no I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing something bad. This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, pulling his hands back to hold the gun in front of himself. He stared down it, his breath coming out in nothing but shaky bursts as his hands shook in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” he started, licking his lips. “I can’t…” He sighed, dropping his hands, the gun hanging loosely from his fingers. “I can’t do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dropped the gun to the ground, kicking it back against the wall and out of his sight. “I’m sorry Chanhee,” he mumbled, his back sliding down the wall as he came to a crouch, hugging his arms around himself. “I’m sorry I just… I don’t know what to do,” he cried, tears brimming his eyes. “But I can’t… I can’t do this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t have enough time to look up after hearing the footsteps by his side, but he definitely wished he had reacted quicker when a firm punch came at him, sending him toward the ground with a cough.  Sanghyuk flung himself away from the person before he even looked up to see them, pushing himself back with his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were going to rob this store?!” the man asked, kicking the gun further away from Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his eyes go wide as a boy about his age stood in front of him, nothing but a shadow against the light of the streets he had hidden himself from. “I- yes… I mean, no! No, I wasn’t!” Sanghyuk fought, still pushing himself back. “I… I was just… I-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other boy was moving toward him without warning, and Sanghyuk didn’t even finish making his point before he was pushing himself up to his feet with a stumble. He felt the heels of his feet pressing against the ground as he ran, his lungs burning in his chest immediately for some reason as he pushed himself forward, drying his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt before skidding to the right, down another alley. He heard the other boy following him quickly, and Sanghyuk began to panic, his arms shaking as he ran. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please leave me alone!” Sanghyuk begged in a yell, sprinting forward. Next thing he knew, he was standing at the foot of a huge construction site. The building towered above him, but it made the perfect cover. He ran into it quickly, following the straight path into the building. He ran towards the metal frame of it, ducking under it and pushing himself inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was darker inside the frame where part of the walls were in the first stage of being put up, blocking even the moonlight from reaching him now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re in here!” the voice called out to him, and Sanghyuk almost choked hearing it. He clasped his hand over his mouth as more tears began to fall from the fear of being caught. He hadn’t meant it. He hadn’t done it. He wasn’t going to hurt anyone. He just wanted to get back to Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk dropped below a piece of plywood, scooting under it on his hands and knees as he tried to steady his breathing and racing heart beat. He moved his entire body underneath it, pressing his chest firmly against the cold ground as he closed his eyes, just hoping the other man would leave him alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air went silent, nothing but stray echoes of footsteps slowly coming in contact with the rough dirt. Sanghyuk could feel his whole body pulsing with the beat of his heart, his hands shaking against the ground as tears continued silently falling down his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had fucked up. He had really fucked up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk winced as he watched the shadow of the man’s feet stop in front of the plywood he hid under, sucking in his lips as he silently begged the person to just keep walking. He had to get back to Chanhee. What would happen to him if he was caught, now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter, because Sanghyuk didn’t have any more time to dwell on the question as the plywood was lifted off of him. Sanghyuk screamed as the boy dropped to grab him. He felt the boy’s arms around his wrist and before he could think he was being swung into the ground, sliding into the dirt and rocks. He coughed, pushing himself up quickly, but he didn’t get a chance to before the person’s fingers were around the collar of his shirt, pulling him back down to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please stop!” Sanghyuk screamed out, kicking up as hard as he could. He felt his foot come in contact with something, but he honestly didn’t care how it happened as long as he was on his feet and running again as quickly as he could. He pushed himself up again, almost stumbling over himself as he ran away, his legs feeling weak underneath him as he ran out to the streets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost ran into a crowd of people as he sprinted out from an alley, barely mumbling an apology to them before continuing sprinting down the streets, fingers tucked into fists as he tried to breathe though it felt impossible through his mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wasn’t sure how it happened, but before he could see it coming he was being tackled to the ground again. A punch was thrown across his face, his hands moving in front of himself to block it with no success. He squirmed and screamed, but no matter what he did the other boy had him pinned to the ground. He felt the man’s knee jab into his side as his vision became spotty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please!” he choked out, reaching his hands up and throwing the man to the side, only to be smashed against the ground again instantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHAT’S GOING ON?!” an older voice shouted, a crowd of voices gathering around as Sanghyuk could only spit up the blood pooling in his mouth, struggling to block any hits that came his way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir, he was going to kill you!” the man called out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! No I wasn’t!” Sanghyuk screamed out, pushing his hands against the boy pinning him down until he found his throat, but the boy pulled his hands off easily, throwing another punch at him. Sanghyuk felt like his world was spinning. He had to get back to Chanhee. That’s all he could focus on. He couldn’t leave him alone. He couldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was going to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO I WASN’T!” Sanghyuk screamed at the top of his lungs, crying out as he tried to shift his way free, but he just couldn’t get himself out. He was stuck. He was trapped. He was never going to see Chanhee again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir you have to believe me he was-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached above him looking for anything to grab onto or use to throw at the boy. His fingers curled around a familiar metal, shaking as he curled it into his grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was going to kill you, I saw it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had run right back to the store he had come from. Right back to where he had left the gun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cried out as he let go of the gun, trying to push the man off of him, but nothing was working. They were calling the police. Sanghyuk was going to go to prison and he would never see Chanhee again. This was it. He had fucked up bad. He had screwed up this time. If his and Chanhee’s lives weren’t already ruined, they were now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cried as he thought about Chanhee waking up to hear what happened. He’d never see him again. Chanhee would be left all alone. Sanghyuk couldn’t let that happen. If nothing else, he promised to take care of that boy. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> let this happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Sanghyuk reached back up, his fingers curling around the smooth metal of the gun handle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His life was ruined anyways now, wasn’t it? He already fucked up so badly that he would never see Chanhee again. This was it, wasn’t it? He had already screwed up… and Chanhee would have to pay for it. If he had already ruined everything… then wouldn’t it be worth it to ruin everything just a little bit more if it meant he could still get back to Chanhee? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his fingers curling around the handle of the gun before he had even become sure of himself, pulling the gun in front of him and lining the barrel up with the man’s head. His black hair hung over his eyes as he turned around with wide eyes in what seemed like slow motion. He had a school uniform on. His look was innocent. His eyes were wide with fear, but Sanghyuk just closed his eyes, pressing his finger down on the trigger of the silver colored gun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it never went off. The trigger pulled, and the gun fired… but there was nothing to fire. The gun was empty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt everything around him crashing into a million pieces as the kid above him stared at him, wide eyed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re…” he whispered, the crowd around them dead silent as they watched everything unfold. The gun shook in Sanghyuk’s hand as he stared up at the kid above him. He was sure he had loaded the gun. He was so sure. Why was it empty now? Why couldn’t he just fire the gun and spiral his life into an out of control disaster like he planned? He couldn’t get away now. He had already shown he would have done it. Everyone was watching. People had their cameras out. It was too late. “You’re-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Sanghyuk finished for him, bringing the gun back and smashing it into the side of the kid’s head as hard as he possibly could. He was up on his feet the second the kid was pushed off of him, stumbling down the alley as fast as he could again with the gun in his hands. He couldn’t see where he was going. He was blindly stumbling all over the place, going anywhere there was a way to go. He was tripping over his own feet, looking anywhere for something he recognized, but everything was unfamiliar to him now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stopped to catch his breath by a dumpster, wiping the silver gun clean of prints before discarding it in the trash, not wasting another second before running away in the opposite direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy that attacked him had been Lee Jaeyoon, prodigy son of Lee Jungsik, who Sanghyuk knew all too well. He smiled at the cameras and got on the news, having everyone call him a hero. They awarded him the public eye and their favor, and when they spoke about Sanghyuk they called him the bad guy. Jaeyoon… called him a villain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn't tell Chanhee what happened until a week later, but even before that Chanhee seemed to be able to guess that it was him on the news by his reactions to the segments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk… maybe you should ignore it,” Chanhee had suggested at one point, but Sanghyuk couldn’t. Jaeyoon’s father had ruined the first part of his life, and now </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was ruining the rest of it. Sanghyuk would have just gone back to Yua Home if he hadn’t gotten in the way. Everything would have just been normal if it wasn’t for him. He ruined </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was the day Sanghyuk decided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Jaeyoon wanted to be the hero so badly, then Sanghyuk would be the villain he had already started to become. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Endure a Little Worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Youngkyun curled his arms around himself as he rested his forehead on his knees. His body sank into the mattress of the bed, swallowed by the dark of the night and the absence of the lights he couldn’t find the energy to turn on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat there with his knees pulled up to his chest, unable to do anything else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did my life get so hard?” Youngkyun whispered to himself, his fingers curling tightly into fists around his legs, his nails digging into his palms. He could feel his shoulders shaking with silent cries he let out, no tears falling from his eyes. Instead, his chest heaved with sobs he couldn’t release, and his head hung low with the guilt he couldn’t carry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang was gone right now. Jaeyoon had asked him to stay the night, and Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to assure him with a smile that it was alright because Taeyang was Jaeyoon’s best friend, and he knew that. And Youngkyun couldn’t stop him from going, so he wouldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was falling apart. It felt like sand sitting in the palm of his hands, seeping between his fingers and falling to the ground where he would never be able to collect it. His life was slipping through his fingers and he was too stupid to figure out a way to stop it before it hit the ground. He was letting it happen because he just simply didn’t know what else to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, releasing it only to hear it shake as it passed his lips. His shoulders curled in, his head falling deeper on his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to think anymore. He didn’t know what to do. Everything was so messy and he just didn’t have a way to clean it up. And he couldn’t even tell anyone. He had lost his temper at Sanghyuk even though he had been right all along. He hadn’t even told him about Inseong in the three days he had known. How could he explain anything to him now? Even Chanhee, he couldn’t explain anything to, because Sanghyuk would just be pissed when he found out from Chanhee. Again, he had kept things away from his family for this long out of fear of how they’d react. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang was the worst of them all, though. Youngkyun had lied to him so many times that telling him anything felt like he was destroying their relationship with rusted scissors. He had let that happen. The lies he told built up and the truths he kept rotted because of his own fears and self doubts. He let everything happen and he was too weak to fix it. It was too late now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But if Youngkyun just sat and let everything happen like this… wouldn’t it all just continue to fall apart? Couldn’t he try to salvage something?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what difference would it make at this point? Everything was broken as it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt a single tear drop down his cheek as he pulled his knees closer to himself. “This is my fault,” he whispered in a broken voice, curling himself into the tightest ball he could manage, wanting to just curl inside himself endlessly and disappear from the world. He didn’t want to confront his issues. He didn’t want to reveal anything. He didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to, and he felt like he couldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Where did Youngkyun find the courage in the small times he had it? When he stood up to reporters to fight for Jaeyoon and Taeyang, where did all that courage come from? Months ago he had been able to speak his mind about anything, feeling free with just a small weight on his shoulders that he could cover easily. When the weights had piled up, had that courage disappeared? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on Youngkyun,” he urged himself in a voice that was so broken it cracked halfway through his words. “You… you always coached Sanghyuk, right? Come on… coach yourself. Come on,” he urged himself, another tear sliding down his cheek. “Just… just say what you would say to Sanghyuk. What, that this is his fault? That he brought it upon himself and he needs to know that?” Youngkyun asked himself, snorting weakly at his own words. “But that maybe,” he continued, his lips pulling into a thin line. “If he just… if he focused on one thing at a time instead of- instead of trying to fix everything all at once.... What should I focus on first?” he asked himself, bringing his head up, the tears sliding down his cheeks as their trails dried. “I just… one thing at a time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was off the bed before he could fully arrange his thoughts, falling into the chair behind his desk and grabbing a sheet of plain paper. “Okay,” he began, grabbing a pen. “One thing at a time. Which means… the first step is to make a list. What do I need to work out?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pressed the pen against the pen, quickly scribbling the words across the page. His final list had only three things on it: Inseong, Jaeyoon, Anonymous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong… smaller steps,” Youngkyun coached himself, drawing a line from Inseong to a blank area on the page. “Break it down. Inseong is too big of a problem to fix. Break it down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no order to his list, just things he knew he had to do. He had to confront Inseong. He had to offer his hand out to him and let him know he would be willing to help, even if he would never say out loud that he might not be able to offer his hand beyond that. His fingers were stretched thin, but he would do it anyways. That was just one thing. He had to tell Sanghyuk, right? That was its own sub category. He had to talk to Sanghyuk and make up. But first… he had to talk to Inseong. That came first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the next step,” Youngkyun mumbled, pushing himself away from the desk. “Fuck thinking about anything else right now. That’s the next step. That’s what I should focus on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Inseong!” Youngkyun cheered with a smile across his face. He didn’t want to let it break, so he just thought of it like pinning the happiness on him with clips and safety pins. He let himself into the cafe, even though the sign clearly still read “CLOSED.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong froze as Youngkyun came towards him, his arms freezing as soon as he closed the oven, the tray of cookies still warm in front of him. He looked to Youngkyun with wide eyes, standing like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, Sanghyuk is gonna be a little late,” he explained with his smile, bouncing up to the counter and easily resting his arms on it. “I guess someone slashed one of the tires of his car!” he recounted, placing his hand on his cheek and popping his mouth open like it was a shock to him. “Bummer, right? Well, Sanghyuk is a dumbass, and can’t change a tire on his own, so I sent some people over to help him! You’re welcome,” he told the boy cheerily, smiling widely to hide the fact that he was really on the verge of panicking. Just like Sanghyuk wore a mask, he had to wear one now too. “So I’m here to keep you company until he comes!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong blinked once at him before seemingly breaking himself out of whatever daze he had been in. He moved his hands to slide the oven mitts off, placing them gently on the counter. “Man,” he started, his voice low. “You have one fucked up family if you just go around slashing each other’s car tires.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said I did that,” Youngkyun defended easily, the smile dropping from his face as his eyebrows stayed raised. He pursed his lips. “You have no proof.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do, though,” Inseong told him, smiling quickly as if just to wedge it into the conversation that he wasn’t trying to be hostile. “Because if you really just wanted to keep me company you would have come with Taeyang, but you didn’t. You came to talk to me,” he observed quickly, turning away from Youngkyun as he grabbed a spatula, scraping the cookies off the tray in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang stayed the night with Jaeyoon, anyways,” Youngkyun mumbled, watching Inseong carefully for a reaction. He didn’t. He didn’t even flinch at the name or the mention of any of it. He was prepared for Youngkyun to come talk to him, and it showed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good for him,” Inseong mumbled, his lips curling downward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Youngkyun interjected, not being able to help himself. “For someone that wants to pretend so badly that nothing happened, you’re a really shitty actor.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I beg to differ,” Inseong told him, turning to face him with a bright smile on his face, dropping it when their eyes met. “I just don’t see a reason to put on a face in front of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the compliment?” Youngkyun questioned, walking around the counter and helping himself as he made his way into the kitchen area. “But about-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Inseong cut him off quickly, still scraping the cookies off the tray and placing them onto a cooling rack. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I said,” Inseong stated, not even looking up as Youngkyun walked into the kitchen, looking around it for no other reason than to distract himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So that’s it, then?” Youngkyun asked, his mask falling. “You’re just gonna refuse to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk about what?” Inseong questioned, raising an eyebrow. “I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut the shit,” Youngkyun spat at him, Inseong’s fingers twitching from the outburst. Was it because he didn’t expect it… or out of instinct?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should leave,” Inseong told him in a low voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I think you should stop pretending,” Youngkyun argued, walking up to Inseong’s side. “You clearly want us to know, so why do you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know what I want,” Inseong hissed at him, pulling his arm away from Youngkyun’s reach and walking away from him, leaving some of the cookies on the surface of the tray just to get away from Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Youngkyun challenged, watching him distance himself. “Because I know you want people to know, you just don’t want them to interfere.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop pretending like you know </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> about my situation,” Inseong told him, curling his arms around himself. “It’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why did you knock?” Youngkyun challenged, taking a step towards him. “You knocked because you wanted me to know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Inseong admitted, finally meeting his eyes with a hard look. “I did. I knocked, are you happy? So take what you think you know and bury it because I don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you didn’t want me to know, then why did you knock?!” Youngkyun screamed, glaring at him. “Stop giving us hints and then pushing us away!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Us?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk and I!” Youngkyun screamed at him. “And Chanhee! And Taeyang! Stop telling us you hate your relationship only to push us away!” he continued, following Inseong when he walked away, rolling his eyes. “It’s driving us all insane!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then pretend you don’t know!” Inseong yelled at him. “Listen, Youngkyun. This is none of your business, so-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> my business, though,” Youngkyun interrupted him. “You being abused is my issue whether you like it or not!” Why was he yelling now? Why was he getting so mad when he had just planned to offer his hand? Was this what Sanghyuk felt when he first met the boy? He was just as deceiving as Jaeyoon was but in a completely different way. He led everyone on only to deny everything knowing there was no way to prove anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Prove it!” Inseong challenged, getting up in his face. “If you’re so confident about it, show me the evidence!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun grabbed Inseong’s arm before he could back away, his face contorting in pain as he whined, his body falling with his arm as he grimaced. Youngkyun let go of it quickly. “That’s my proof,” he spat at him, gesturing to his arm. “The cut from the glass on your arm is how I know. What about the bruise on your collarbone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gone, and you can’t prove anything,” Inseong stated, backing away from him. “You can’t prove it to anyone but yourself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you stop being such an asshole for a second?!” Youngkyun begged him, tilting his head with an expression of pleading. “You are staring me in the face right now and telling me with every single move you make that you’re being abused, and you’re defending it. You’re retaliating against everything I do instead of letting me help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to help,” Inseong spat at him, curling his arms around himself. “I want you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?!” Youngkyun yelled, stepping forward. “You scream for help but why won’t you accept it?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When have I ever screamed for help?!” Inseong asked, gaping at Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> screams for help, Inseong,” Youngkyun explained, taking another step forward. “The way you act around Jaeyoon screams that you’re not happy. The way you react to his name screams abuse and the way you asked Sanghyuk to run away with you proves it. There is not a single moment you have been by Jaeyoon’s side that tells the world you are in a happy relationship, everyone else is just too fucking blind to see it,” he ranted, watching Inseong’s face slowly fall as he spoke. “So please, if you’re going to show the world how much you hate the way your life is, and if you’re going to knock back, don’t back out! Stop running away when we’re only trying to help!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said,” Inseong began in a quiet voice, wrapping his arms around himself as he turned his head away. “I don’t want help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t even look me in the eyes while saying that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want help,” Inseong repeated, holding his head up high and staring Youngkyun in the eyes. His expression became hard, and very </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> forced. “I don’t want you or Sanghyuk to get involved. I want you to back out and pretend you never saw anything-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was about to,” Youngkyun told him, biting his lip. “I was about to tell Jaeyoon everything I thought about him and apologize for thinking so wrongly, but then you knocked. You answered my knock and let me know everything I was thinking was right. Why did you do that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have my reasons.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mind sharing with the class, then?” Youngkyun asked, holding his arms open. “I’m all ears!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop trying to interfere,” Inseong spat at him, turning his head away again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to talk about interfering?” Youngkyun asked. “How about realizing I could have just pulled you out of the closet and walked you downstairs in front of Taeyang and Jaeyoon? How about the fact that I could have called the police and told them to check the crime scene of Jungsik’s memorial for Jaeyoon’s DNA? How about the fact that if I did any of that, Taeyang would </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> believe me? But I didn’t, and do you want to know why I didn’t? Because when I asked you to knock again if you wanted me to, you didn’t knock. I respected that and didn’t expose everything happening. So don’t act like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the most I could interfere. All I want is for you to explain it to me, but you won’t even do that!” Youngkyun ranted, really feeling himself gasping for air as he finished speaking. “I just want to understand!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you just leave it alone?!” Inseong screamed, and when Youngkyun looked in his eyes again he could see tears building up in them. His voice was hoarse with stress and nerves. “Please!” he continued. “Just stop trying to help me because you’re not helping me! Every time anyone tries to help it just makes everything worse, and I’m sick of it! I’m sick of it being worse and I’m sick of making things worse for you guys! So stop! Leave me alone and let me live my life this way! I don’t want it to change! I like it the way it is!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sucked in a breath as a tear dropped from Inseong’s eye, trailing down his cheek. He was trying so hard not to break right now, but Youngkyun could see right through every lie he told. He watched as Inseong crumbled in front of him, his chest heaving in small sobs as he tried to collect his thoughts. How much weight did he have on his shoulders to be like that, too? What did Inseong carry with him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe you,” Youngkyun told him quietly, shaking his head. “Inseong I- I don’t believe you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t,” Inseong spat at him through his tears. “I don’t care. Just stop making it worse!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you think us getting involved would make everything worse?” Youngkyun asked this time, his voice soft and gentle. “If I told Sanghyuk what happened, and he tried to help, do you really think that would make everything worse?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell him,” Inseong told him, shaking his head. “And I do. I can promise you that the more you get involved, the worse everything gets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already hate myself and the way everything is happening so stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun froze, his hand stopping as he moved to reach out for Inseong. Inseong had said that last part with such a firm truth to his voice, and it was the most truthful Youngkyun had ever seen him. He felt his heart ripping in half as he realized those words were about Inseong hating himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was the situation really so bad that getting involved would be worse? Was it so bad that Inseong, who clearly knew how bad it was, felt staying was better? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We all want to help,” Youngkyun told him in a quiet voice, pulling his arms back. “All of us. We’re a family, and all four of us would drop everything to help you. So just… remember that if you ever think you want to endure a little worse so you can finally be happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Youngkyun pulled his arms tightly around himself, stepping out of the kitchen and walking out of the cafe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Youngkyun coached himself, looking down at the sticky note in his hand. It stuck to the tips of his fingers, sitting gently in his hand. On it, in big pen strokes, was the code B071 6000 3017 5667. It was the first suspicious bank account Youngkyun would look into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded to himself, bringing his shoulders back in as much composure as he could gather. He wouldn’t let what Inseong said to him earlier get to him. He wouldn’t let Taeyang spending time with Jaeyoon bother him. He wouldn’t let his current situation with Sanghyuk distract him. For now, he would just focus on Anonymous. One step at a time. One focus at a time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded to himself again, gathering the air in his lungs as he pushed himself forward. The front lobby of the building was completely unfamiliar to him, surrounding him in an uncomfortable stifle with cool purples and greens. The room was more than stuffy, and it felt like there was something across his mouth, blocking him from breathing in the air correctly. It was either that or the room was just awful and he wanted to leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” the lady at the front desk chirped, smiling although it was clearly a formality for professionalism. Youngkyun didn’t even know her, but he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to be here anymore. Youngkyun didn’t like the atmosphere of the place, and it felt more like the front lobby of a prestigious library than a legal office. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Youngkyun greeted, squinting his eyes in a smile as he approached the front desk. “I’m here for Baek Juho.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” she mumbled, checking her computer screen before returning her eyes to him. “He doesn’t have an appointment booked right-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he free? I didn’t make an appointment,” Youngkyun told her, smiling sweetly again. “My name is Kim Youngkyun, CEO of-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OH!” she chirped, eyes going wide. “Oh! I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t know who you were!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Youngkyun told her sweetly, bowing a little as he did. “Is he free now for me to see him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He should be yes,” she told him, reaching for her desk phone. “Let me just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Youngkyun said, smiling at her before walking towards the door, letting himself through it and walking down the stifling hallway. He didn’t really know where he was going but he hoped walking aimlessly around the building would eventually lead him where he wanted to be. Doors lined the halls, each complete with names of lawyers in small plaques. It didn’t take long to find Juho’s, Youngkyun being a bit thankful that it was so close to the front of the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knocked twice with the back of his knuckles before letting himself in anyways, not waiting for a reply. Juho looked up to him with wide eyes as he greeted the boy with nothing more than a smile, closing the door behind himself and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his dress pants. He walked slowly around the room, eyeing little details of it here and there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, hi?” Juho asked, setting down whatever papers he was working on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man how the fuck do you work here?” Youngkyun asked, looking back towards the door before raising an eyebrow at Juho. “I couldn’t even breathe out there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s just because you’re weak,” Juho commented with a smile, leaning back in his seat. “What can I do for you on this fine day? I didn’t expect you to ever come get me here for any reason.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well surprise!” Youngkyun said with a smile, looking at the seat situated in front of Juho’s clean desk before deciding he had no interest in sitting in it. “I have a fun game.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A game? Kyun, I’m working,” Juho pointed out, gesturing to his desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well technically you work for me and you don’t have any appointments scheduled for now, so right now you’re working for </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I say we’re playing a game,” he decided, taking a seat in the chair across from Juho’s desk anyways in some attempt to make it seem like the game was more than just fucking around. He really did need Juho’s help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, my legal cases can wait, sure,” Juho quipped sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders and giving Youngkyun his full attention. “What’s the game?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s called investigating mock bank accounts and finding the source of the money and any trace of where it ended up,” Youngkyun told him with a bright smile, passing the sticky note across the desk. Juho took it from his hands, the paper barely making a sound as Juho easily peeled it off of his hand. He looked down at it for a second before raising an eyebrow again. “How well can you keep a secret?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this some... like... patient confidentiality thing?” Juho asked, looking skeptically to the bank account code again. “What the fuck is this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a mock bank account used to transfer funds to Jaeyoon for either a donation or sponsorship,” Youngkyun explained, folding his hands in his lap. “I want to know everything you can figure out about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait why are you looking into Jaeyoon’s donations?” Juho asked, placing the sticky note on his desk before raising his eyes to Youngkyun’s. “Shouldn’t Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> where these came from? Plus, Seokwoo didn’t mention Jaeyoon getting any new donations recently.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He hasn’t,” Youngkyun clarified, shifting in his seat. “This bank account was used over a year ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why does it matter?” Juho asked, tilting his head to the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I need to know if the sponsorship money came from Anonymous or not,” Youngkyun mumbled, angling his head down at the floor. “So… can you keep a secret from Seokwoo and Jaeyoon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you aren’t telling Jaeyoon you’re looking into this?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Consider it the whole client confidentiality thing,” Youngkyun suggested, a weak smile finding its way onto his lips. “I have a few more accounts, too, but this is the first one I have with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any idea how useless this probably is?” Juho asked, picking up the sticky note and holding it up for Youngkyun to see. “If it’s from over a year ago then it’s probably all dead ends, not to mention the fact that it’s probably a decoy account which means it’s been closed for over a year.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it still exists!” Youngkyun pointed out, snapping and aiming a finger gun at Juho with a smile. “Help me out here,” he begged, dropping the ridiculous smile from his face, his hands falling to his lap. “I need to look into these bank accounts. Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho rolled his eyes, sinking deeper into his chair. “Fine,” he mumbled. Youngkyun popped out of his chair quickly, smiling and jumping around with excitement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” he said with a big smile. “So how do we look into the account, Mr. Investigator?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to go to the bank it came from,” Juho told him, tapping his fingers on the desk before pushing himself out of his chair. “Would you happen to know which bank that is?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shinhan Financial Group,” Youngkyun stated proudly, stuffing his hands back in his pockets and clearing his throat as Juho pulled his jacket on. He closed up his computer, leaving all of his other files out as he grabbed his case, looking up to Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well let’s go then. Move it,” he urged, bringing a bright smile to Youngkyun’s face. Youngkyun opened the door to let Juho out, closing it behind the both of them and happily following him out of the office. “Are we taking your car or my car?” Juho asked, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mine because yours is shitty,” Youngkyun told him, unlocking the car with the button on his keys. He smiled at the shiny black car, gesturing for Juho to make himself at home in the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My car isn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>shitty</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Juho defended, closing the door behind himself as he pulled the buckle over his chest. “She just isn’t as pampered as your rich ass car is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t condemn me for having an expensive car! You’re literally a lawyer!” Youngkyun scolded, turning in his seat to stare at Juho with his mouth hanging open. “You could have a nicer car than me if you wanted! You just choose not to!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love my car!” Juho stated strongly, crossing his arms over his chest with a hint of a smile as Youngkyun rolled his eyes, pulling away from the side of the street and into the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you do, but you should accept the fact that your beloved car is literally falling apart at the seams,” Youngkyun told him with a suffocated smile, sucking his lips in between his teeth as he tried to keep himself from laughing. “It’s shitty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> shitty,” Juho mumbled, pouting as he looked out the window to his side. “Fuck you and your stupid car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah fuck you too,” Youngkyun commented, smiling as he sped up the car, zooming down the main streets of Seoul. There was something about driving fast with the sun out that just changed the way Youngkyun felt for the moment. It was like, with Juho next to him, who was so oblivious, there were no weights on his shoulders at all. Everything was fine. Being here, in this moment, made him feel like the weights had fallen from his shoulders completely and he could finally breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that stupid smile on your face for?” Juho asked, raising an eyebrow as Youngkyun slowed to fall in line with traffic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged. “I’m just… happy I guess,” Youngkyun admitted, nodding to himself as he drove. Why couldn’t every day be like this? He wanted every day with Taeyang and Sanghyuk and Chanhee to feel as blissful as this freedom did right now. To never have to worry about keeping anymore secrets… that was his dream. That was his utopia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled, his eyes flickering between Juho and the road, his fingers curling loosely around the wheel. But something went wrong in that small second Youngkyun had looked away from the road, his relaxed shoulders bracing against the seat, his fingers curling sharply around the wheel as he spun it, foot slamming on the breaks and pumping them to try and bring the car to a stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car two cars in front of him went flying to the side as dust and debris shot up from the road, a cloud of smoke shooting up into the air with an ear deafening bang. The car rolled onto its side but Youngkyun didn’t have time to see how it landed. The car in front of him couldn’t turn or stop in time, slamming on the breaks and turning to the side, only to disappear into the cloud of asphalt dust. The red lights of the breaks shined brightly against the black dust, showing the movement of the car as it fell into whatever pit the cloud hid behind it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun did his best to turn the car away, bracing himself as he steered it to the side, but everything flashed to black as he saw another car in front of his. The bumpers collided, shooting Youngkyun harshly back in his seat with a scream of pain and shock, his fingers curling tightly around the wheel as he tried to keep himself steady. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he opened his eyes, it was like a snow storm of gently falling flakes around him, only the snowflakes weren’t white. They were black. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun groaned as he peeled his fingers away from the wheel, lifting them gently to his head where he felt a horrendous pounding headache forming. He pulled his fingers away, thankful to find no blood where he had touched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Outside the windshield, black dust and specks fell from the sky, coating the hood of his car. Grey smoke rose from the engine which was crushed against another car. From what he could see out the windshield, the cars’ bumpers had collided and smashed together horribly, smoke pouring from both of them and only adding to the darkness of the disaster outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a horrible ringing in his ear as he turned to face Juho, unconsciously reaching out to grab him. He couldn’t feel his own fingers, looking at them as if he wasn’t even looking at his own hand. It felt like he was just watching them, not controlling them. His head pounded, his eyes blinking like it was interfering with how he was seeing. He felt dizzy, like as he moved his hand straight it didn’t go where he wanted it to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Juho?” he called out, but his voice sounded distant and muffled. With the ringing, Youngkyun almost had to wonder if he had said it at all, finally grabbing onto the fabric of Juho’s sleeve and pulling weakly at it. “Juho,” he called out again, the ringing in his ear increasing before slowly fading away, only to pulse back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Around him, he could hear what sounded like crowds of voices, muffled by the car walls and his own mind. There were screams of panic as well, all mixed together in a horrible scene Youngkyun couldn’t process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Juho!” he called again, pulling on his sleeve with any amount of force he could gather. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho turned his head to face Youngkyun, and although his eyes met Youngkyun’s, it was as if he wasn’t looking at anything. Blood dripped from his hairline around his eyes and in trickles down the side of his face. The blood trailed over the tip of his ear which was scraped with smudged blood. One drop fell over his eyelid as he blinked at Youngkyun. He moved his lips, and Youngkyun knew he was saying something, but for the life of him he couldn’t hear it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Juho!” he called out again anyways, blinking and shaking his head as he tried to get rid of the horrible ringing sound, his fingers curling circulation-cutting tightly around the sleeve of Juho’s jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho’s voice sounded distant as the man blinked, his senses returning to him as much as Youngkyun wished his were. He could hear his voice, but it was barely there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pulled his hand away from Juho’s jacket, bringing it to his head and more or less slamming his palm into his head, banging it and begging the ringing to secede.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun?” he heard again, but he couldn’t bring himself to focus on it. He moved his hands to the handle of the car door quickly, pulling it with what little strength he had in his hands and pushing the door open. He felt like he was going to collapse on the ground the second the noises hit his ears. It was a loud mixture of screams and cries, people running up to help those who had been involved in the incident and the screams of those who were injured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his legs standing unsteadily beneath himself, his fingers curling around the frame of the door to steady himself as he blinked through the settling debris. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cars piled up in every direction he could see, though he was at the center of the disaster and definitely had one of the worse crashes. He could see civilians running in to help people out of cars and out to the side of the road, but no matter where Youngkyun looked, he just felt numb. His body felt numb as he stood in the cloud of asphalt dust and his mind felt numb as he tried to comprehend what happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Juho,” he mumbled, spinning around to see the car again, immediately regretting the decision as his vision momentarily blacked out, his hand bracing against the car to steady himself. After regaining his balance and sense of direction, Youngkyun moved quickly around the back of the car, making his way over to the passenger seat. He pried the door open quickly, watching as it detached from the car entirely and fell to the ground. “Whatever,” he found himself mumbling, reaching in and throwing Juho’s arm around his shoulders. He pulled him out of the car quickly, listening to him mumble and groan in disoriented pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got you buddy,” he mumbled to him, stepping away from the car. His legs hurt with the weight of carrying Juho, who was too desensitized to stand on his own. He felt like his own weak legs were going to fall to the ground any second, and as he took a step he wondered how long he had before he blacked out completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled Juho away from the cloud of settling dust, waving his free hand up for people to come help him. They ran his way quickly, offering to take Juho from him which he was more than happy to let them. They took Juho, and with the sudden lack of weight on his shoulders Youngkyun couldn’t stop himself before he stumbled to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?!” a woman’s voice asked, her hand coming to gently rest on Youngkyun’s shoulder, but Youngkyun really felt too sick to answer. If he tried to stand up again, he was sure he was probably going to throw up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Youngkyun confessed, digging his fingers into the ground as he angled his head down. His head was spinning terribly and he couldn’t think of a single reason why the shock wasn’t fading from his system yet. It was over. The crash had happened, so why did he still feel so sick?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll help you up, here,” the woman offered, wrapping her hands around his arm. Youngkyun let himself be pulled up, but it took much more effort to get him on his feet. A man with greying hair ran up to help, grabbing Youngkyun’s other arm and hoisting him up. He felt bad considering he had two working legs and should have been able to carry himself, but as of now it didn’t really feel like his legs were working. To be honest, they felt quite numb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun let his head dip down to the ground, the lids of his eyes slowly falling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need…” he mumbled, his voice cutting off as his throat suddenly felt coated in some indescribable thickness. “To-” he coughed, lurching forward and feeling absolutely terrible to the people he was leaning on. “My… my husband.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman patted his back, both of the adults clearly disregarding what he was saying to make sure he got away from the cars quickly enough. As they pulled him over to the sidewalk, gently easing him down to the ground, a news van showed up. It skidded to a stop in front of the cars, followed by two police cars and an ambulance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun, out of sheer habit and distaste for the media, turned his head away as he leaned his hands in front of him on the sidewalk. He seriously felt like he was going to throw up, or maybe he would pass out first. Maybe they would both happen at the same time. All he knew was that he felt like absolute shit, and the pounding headache he had refused to go away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kim Youngkyun!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh great.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kim Youngkyun! Reporter for-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun lifted up his head with lidded eyes as the report screamed at him with a microphone, a camera being instantly shoved in his face, or at least what felt like it. Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t breathe. The man was screaming at him, almost, but he couldn’t understand a word he was saying. Every word jumbled together and all it sounded like to him was an annoying noise. It was pissing him off as much as the relentless ringing in his right ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about the situation?!” the reporter asked with quick words, shoving the microphone at him and looking at him with wide eyes, waiting for a response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun tried to focus his eyes on the reporter as well as he could, but honestly he was having a bit of trouble seeing straight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm…” Youngkyun began, his mind a mix of the fact that he couldn’t think of a single comprehensible sentence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The reporter didn’t give him time to think of a good answer, clearly not expecting one. “This is the second time Dawon has made an attempt on your life, how do you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t… wasn’t Da- fuck,” Youngkyun cursed, pulling his hands over his stomach as a pain shot through it. His eyebrows knitted together as his face contorted in pain. He curled over, and before he could stop himself he was rolling onto his side, clutching his stomach. He held his eyes closed tightly as he waited for the pain to subside, but it never did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kim?! What’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before the reporter could finish his words, he was stunned into silence by Youngkyun lurching forward with a cough, spitting up a small amount of blood onto the sidewalk. He felt sick to his stomach as the blood dripped over his lips and down his chin, and he wanted to at least wipe it clean but he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He placed his hand against the sidewalk for stability, but before he could push himself up any amount he was coughing up more blood, hanging his head low as the blood dripped around his lips and in strings into a small puddle on the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Move!” someone shouted, presumably at the reporter. Youngkyun wanted to smile at that, but he really couldn’t muster the energy to accomplish that at the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun?!” someone called, and Youngkyun easily recognized the voice as Juho’s. He turned his head to see the boy stumbling over to him, immediately stopped by a paramedic who blocked his path. Juho clearly struggled against him, but with his head probably just as fucked up as Youngkyun’s was, he barely made it hard for the paramedic to subdue him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a hand on his shoulder as Juho was pulled away to an ambulance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want… ride with… with him,” Youngkyun mumbled, letting his eyes flicker to Juho. “That’s my…” Youngkyun didn’t get to finish that part, lurching forward and coughing up more blood. He pressed the palms of his hands firmly against the pavement to stabilize himself, but he could barely tell which way the ground was at this point, having to close his eyes to keep himself from swaying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lay back for us if you can,” one of the paramedics instructed him, gently guiding him onto the gurney before he was picked up and most likely carried to one of the ambulances. Youngkyun didn’t really mind. At least this way he didn’t have to walk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his head rolling to the side, no energy left in him to pick it back up at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was absolutely sure he remembered the ambulance ride. Sure… he couldn’t recall one specific detail about it. He couldn’t remember anything that was said to him during that time either. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure if he had ended up riding in the same ambulance as Juho or not. But he was sure he remembered it. He felt like he remembered it. So that meant he must have been at least somewhat conscious, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Youngkyun could say with absolutely positivity that he didn’t remember anything after, and that was most likely what led to his confusing awakening in a hospital bed, immediately bombarded by a sobbing wreck that was supposed to be his husband. Youngkyun could only blink at the boy with a blank expression while Taeyang, immediately upon seeing his eyes opening, bursted out into tears. He let his fingers trail over Youngkyun’s face as tears streamed down his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babe…” Youngkyun began, his voice hoarse. Taeyang looked at him as he talked, completely choked up. “It’s not like I almost died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were internally bleeding you asshole!” Taeyang screamed at him, grabbing his hand firmly and pressing his forehead against Youngkyun’s chest lightly, more or less just hovering over it. “You had to get surgery! You’re such a fucking asshole! You should have been more careful!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Youngkyun mumbled, his mind not quite processing everything Taeyang was saying. He definitely felt drugged up, that was for sure. “But the road kind of… blew up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care! You’re still an asshole!” Taeyang cried as Youngkyun did his best to squeeze his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Juho okay?” he asked, blinking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah Juho is fine,” Taeyang mumbled, sniffling. “You swerved the car so you took most of the impact. Like I said. You’re an asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember intentionally doing that but it sounds like something I’d do,” Youngkyun admitted, only to be lightly slapped on the arm by Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me in!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s family only, sir!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So suddenly I have to suck my best friend’s dick like Taeyang just to be his family?! Move!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door to the room was thrown open loudly, slamming against the wall and most likely shaking the whole building. Youngkyun didn’t have the energy to pull his eyes away from Taeyang. Had he been this sleepy a minute ago? Hadn’t he just woken up?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun!” the voice boomed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Hyuk,” Youngkyun mumbled quietly, his lips turning up into a small smile as he kept his eyes on Taeyang beside him who still had tears streaming down his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir I’m so sorry he just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, he’s family,” Taeyang assured the panicked nurse, turning around even with the way his appearance was to give her a soft smile. He quickly returned his attention to Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have some fucking nerve,” Sanghyuk scolded him, grabbing the back of the swivel chair Taeyang was sitting in and pulling it away from the bed, letting it carry a wide eyed Taeyang away from him and across the room. Sanghyuk took his place, leaning over the bed with his arms on the edge, more or less trapping Youngkyun in considering he couldn’t even get the energy to turn over and see behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do?” Youngkyun questioned. Man, he was fucking tired. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you do,” Sanghyuk continued, narrowing his eyes at him. “I saved you from a fucking fire so you could live not so you could crash your fucking car and get surgery. You’re such a dick!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My bad,” Youngkyun mumbled, his eyes slowly drooping shut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” Sanghyuk told him, pulling his eyes open with his fingers and blowing into them. Youngkyun blinked with an expression of disgust, or as good of an expression as he could manage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off I’m tired,” Youngkyun mumbled at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just woke up after a post surgery coma! The </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing you need is a nap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, he’s drugged up. Leave him alone,” Chanhee scolded him, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back so he could lean down by the side of Youngkyun’s bed. “How are you doing?” Chanhee asked, tilting his head with a smile. “Thank fucking god you’re okay. We need you to deal with Taeyang. Without you I think he might start the apocalypse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn right I will!” Taeyang defended, sniffling as he came back over to the bed. “Don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> do something that stupid again!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best,” Youngkyun mumbled, his eyes really falling shut this time no matter how hard he tried to keep them open. The drugs dragged him down into a blackness so dark he couldn’t seem to claw his way out, no matter how badly he wanted to stay awake with Taeyang. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to stay awake. He wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>be</span>
  </em>
  <span> awake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But as he felt himself being dragged down into the heavy darkness, it felt more like he was wide awake, surrounded by dark walls that he could never escape from. He felt small, surrounded by pillars of darkness and shadows that slowly crept towards him if he wasn’t looking. But he couldn’t look everywhere all at once, and slowly the darkness crept towards him on all sides until the voices and calls from the dark walls reached out to grab him. The second he turned around he felt the touch of darkness from the wall behind him, and without even realizing it, he was calling out for help in an endless chasm that silenced his cries for help like sound had never existed there at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with one last silent cry, he wished to be awake.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Stay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I’m sorry!” Sanghyuk told him, rubbing his fingers through his hair. He paced back and forth across the hospital room, Youngkyun glaring at him from his bed. “I don’t know what you want me to do!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you to figure out who the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> keeps trying to kill me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> they were trying to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” Youngkyun interrupted him sternly. “I don’t give a rat’s ass if I was their target or not. A month ago this bastard burnt my house down and tried to kill not only me, but Taeyang too. And now Juho and I are both in the hospital from his same game! This is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>second</span>
  </em>
  <span> time I’ve almost died!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And how should I figure it out, huh?” Sanghyuk asked, turning around sharply to face Youngkyun. “Don’t you even dare suggest I work with Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I was going to suggest that?” Youngkyun asked, relaxing into his bed and raising an eyebrow at the boy. “I don’t trust him either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then come on, give me your ideas!” Sanghyuk suggested, opening his arms as an invite to any advice he knew Youngkyun didn’t have. “Should I continue the work you were doing to find Anonymous? Oh wait, I can’t. Not only do I not have access to the same records you do, but I can’t investigate in person like you can because I’m not an adored CEO. Do you think Taeyang will do it on his own?! He didn’t even like the idea to begin with!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun crossed his arms across his chest with a pout. “It’s not my fault he blew up the fucking road.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well because of that, you’re now out of commission for the next six weeks,” Sanghyuk pointed out, falling back in the chair behind him. “Don’t push it. You need to recover.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I need to find Anonymous,” Youngkyun sneered at him. “Don’t you think maybe it’s just a little weird, assuming Anonymous is the one doing these things, that he targeted Taeyang and I in the first place? Sure, this time could be a coincidence, but the bomb went off at exactly 11:49 in the morning. That’s kind of a weird time, unless you can find another meaning for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you think he knew you’d be driving there? If he did, why wouldn’t he just blow up the bomb when you were directly over it?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t it close enough?” Youngkyun asked, biting his teeth at him. “I’m just saying, what if he knows we’re looking into him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter. You’re benched,” Sanghyuk mumbled, taking a sharp intake of breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like to see you fucking make me,” Youngkyun mumbled under his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said you’re benched!” Sanghyuk told him, standing up with a pointed look and making his way over to the bed. “You’re out! For the next six weeks, stop involving yourself. You need to rest more than anything, okay? Stop trying to look into anything, because you’re out!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So if Anonymous blows up another road and someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> dies this time, I should just sit here thinking there’s nothing I could do?” Youngkyun challenged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing you </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> do,” Sanghyuk sneered at him. “Because you’re out, got it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t got it,” Youngkyun retaliated, biting his lip. “If Anonymous keeps using your identity like this, people are eventually going to die. It’s a miracle nobody died this time. You can’t just expect me to wait another six weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> expect that,” Sanghyuk told him, crossing his arms across his chest. “And I do. Taeyang has already been told that you’re out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s expression dropped, his mouth hanging open with his eyes wide. “Sanghyuk you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Accept it Kyun, you’re benched. Give it six weeks like the doctor said.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> six weeks!” Youngkyun screamed at him, cheeks flushed with anger and irritation as his fingers curled into the blankets. Sanghyuk felt the insides of his stomach twist at the sight. “Anonymous could do anything at any time and we have no way of predicting </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he rasped out, his eyes filling, not with tears, but with emotion nonetheless. His hands were clenched against his chest, and Sanghyuk could tell he wanted to move forward when he physically wasn’t able to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if Anonymous goes after you again?” Sanghyuk asked in a quiet voice, crossing his arms over his chest. “If you… if you or Taeyang get hurt? Is that… is that okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun clearly didn’t have an answer to Sanghyuk’s question, becoming as still as a statue, a frown fixed on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t stress yourself. It’s not going to help you recover.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And sitting here isn’t going to help us catch Anonymous,” Youngkyun sneered in a low voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you collapsing from more internal bleeding and a possible infection because you’re so goddamn stubborn is just going to make everything worse,” Sanghyuk snapped, narrowing his eyes at him. “You’re out, Kyun, okay? It’s been three months already, I don’t care if things are picking up the pace. I don’t care if everything gets worse. I’d let the whole city burn to make sure you and Taeyang are safe so shut the fuck up, lay down, and fucking recover.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s coming for you,” Youngkyun mumbled, so low that Sanghyuk barely caught it. “You know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>do,” Youngkyun spat at him, sinking back down into the mattress. “I care that someone is coming for you. I care that someone is trying to ruin everything when you finally started making progress. So if you say you’d let a whole city burn to make sure I’m safe, then I’d put every goddamn fire out with my bare hands to make sure you’re okay, asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve heard the news?” Youngkyun asked, almost like he was changing the subject, even though Sanghyuk knew he wasn’t. Sanghyuk’s silence seemed to be the answer Youngkyun wanted. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> how Anonymous works.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you even talking about?” Sanghyuk asked in a small voice, pulling his arms around his torso. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous wants to destroy you. Why do you think he’s starting with your image?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like how you’re implying Anonymous has any power over me,” Sanghyuk mumbled, trying to bring anything lighthearted into the conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then go stop him right now,” Youngkyun challenged, his eyes dropping to his hands in his lap. “If Anonymous hasn’t already dominated you in the media, prove it. Stop him right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s lips parted in protest, but he had nothing to say. He let his mouth slowly draw closed while his shoulders deflated in defeat. The air between them fell silent, but it was clear Youngkyun, as stubborn as he was, was not going to speak again until Sanghyuk made up some reply of any kind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” he finally decided, just because he wanted to make Youngkyun think he didn’t care about how much Anonymous had already gained over him. He didn’t want to let Youngkyun know he already felt like he was losing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it really not matter?” Youngkyun asked, still not lifting his head as he raised his eyebrow. “Or are you just too scared to say it does?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like his lungs had just been beaten with the handle of a broom, pulsing through bruised patches of skin as they struggled to regain the pattern of breathing. He didn’t want to let it show, but even with Youngkyun’s eyes angled toward the bed it was like he was watching his every movement. Youngkyun probably saw the way Sanghyuk’s fingers twitched as he talked about being scared, and how his chest stopped steadily rising from the hitch in his throat. Youngkyun knew it affected him. He knew he was scared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave first,” Sanghyuk mumbled, having nothing else to say to the boy as he grabbed his small backpack from the table, swinging it over his shoulders and moving towards the door. He expected one last remark from Youngkyun as he left, one last defiance of being benched, but Youngkyun said nothing. He just let him walk out with the weight of their conversation following him around like an empty soul, breathed alive by his own regrets and worries. It clouded behind him as he closed the door, and it grew with every person he passed in the hallways, collecting their guilt and building it onto his own, just so he could feel heavier as he walked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even notice he had hugged his arms around himself until he had to step aside to avoid bumping into someone. He almost tripped over his own feet, having been looking down at them the whole time, as he pulled his own body to the side to avoid them. He was sure they muttered something towards him, but honestly he didn’t hear it, and he couldn’t care to either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stepped into the elevator slowly, careful not to touch anyone as he made himself small. With just his luck, more and more people piled into the elevator, crowding around him and pressuring him into a corner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Kijoon,” some nurse spoke up, elbowing some guy in a nurse’s outfit. “Did you hear the news about Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pounding behind Sanghyuk’s eyes was like a lion clawing at the inside of his skull, pounding against the edges and pressing harder and harder just to make it worse for him. His fingers curled more tightly around his arms, pressing into the fabric of his shirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” the other nurse, probably Kijoon, replied with a sigh. “I believed in him too, y’know? But lately he’s just going crazy!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long before you think he targets the hospital?” the lady nurse asked as the doors opened, the two of them continuing their conversation as they made their way out. Sanghyuk felt his nails digging into his arms at this point as a few stragglers in the elevator nodded along to what the nurses said. But they had a point. How long until Anonymous </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> target a hospital? No- how long until </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon</span>
  </em>
  <span> targeted a hospital?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pushing his way past several people blocking his way as he made his way out of the elevator, biting his lip as he walked through the room. The news was on TV in the main room, displaying another news story about Dawon’s latest “violent outburst.” Sanghyuk turned his head away, but as he did his eyes fell to a phone in a person’s hand, displaying a news article about Dawon conspiracy theories as he talked avidly with the girl next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned his shoulders away again, slowly letting his neck sink into them as his head began pounding terribly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone knew. Everyone thought. They all had their opinions and they all talked about him. All of them were thinking about him. They thought he did it. Polls turned against him and what used to be a majority siding with him landslide into a whopping 23% vouching that he hadn’t done any of that. People changed their minds so easily. They never really sided with him. They never </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to defend him. They just wanted to be part of a unique movement, and now that that movement was over they were done pretending their opinions had changed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow, fuck,” Sanghyuk cursed, pushing open the front doors and releasing himself into the cold air which didn’t help clear his lungs even slightly. He still felt suffocated. He felt like a hand was clasped around his windpipe, controlling how much air he was allowed to have. He felt his fingers clawing at his throat as he began to panic, heaving even though he still felt like he couldn’t breath at all. His head pounded, and Sanghyuk felt himself shrinking. “No, no, no, no, no,” he mumbled to himself, pulling his hands up to cradle his head. He had made it so long without another migraine. He had been on a streak! Why was everything good in his life being destroyed?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People watched him as they passed, understanding he was in pain but doing nothing to offer any help. They judged him, in every shape and form. It didn’t matter how he presented himself, because nobody ever bothered to help him or do anything beyond forming an opinion. They walked by. They left him there. His headache only grew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk dragged himself away from the front doors of the hospital, his hands clutching at his chest. He knew it was freezing outside but he felt unbearably hot as he gasped for breath again. His headache pounded, his chest shaking like that wonderful butterfly feeling everyone always talked about was just made of rabid bats instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Sanghyuk could even comprehend what he was doing, he felt himself reaching into his pocket for his phone. This was stupid. This was a stupid idea, and yet that thought never really made it past the first stage of thinking as he pulled up the contact in his phone, calling the person and pulling the phone to his ear. He was shaking. He felt like what little grip he had on his phone was short lived as he struggled to even process the fact that he was holding onto it. Was this a migraine or an anxiety attack at this point? Was it both? Sanghyuk had no fucking idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?” he answered, his voice raising in a question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you busy right now?” Sanghyuk asked, his voice shaking with fear and panic as he spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I- no, are you okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I come over?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, the words dripping off his tongue. He would make it better. He didn’t know why he thought that, or why he felt like he knew that for sure, but Inseong would make it better. Inseong always managed to make things better. “Please?” he added, after a small silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Inseong mumbled, his voice drifting off at the end. “I can… I can send you my address?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please,” Sanghyuk croaked out with a broken voice, wincing as the pain in his head surged forward like a knife being jabbed into his skull. “Please send it to me so I can come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk where are you?” Inseong asked boldly. “I’m- I’m coming to pick you up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can get there on my own,” Sanghyuk assured him, not really sure if he was being truthful. In all honesty, he just wanted a chance to compose himself before he forced himself into Inseong’s space like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t need to worry about him. Inseong had his own problems so why was he doing this? Why was he making more trouble for Inseong? He should have just called Chanhee instead. He should have, but why didn’t he? Why had he gone to Inseong first when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> he had people around him that could help him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you absolutely sure?” Inseong asked carefully through the call.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Sanghyuk assured him, wincing again as he stumbled around, his head suddenly feeling dizzy. He knew he needed to sit down, but if he sat down he wasn’t going to be making any progress on getting to Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise me,” Inseong challenged him. “Promise you are fine and would rather walk here than have me come pick you up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need you to pick me up,” Sanghyuk assured him again, closing his eyes tightly to push away the pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t ask if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> me to pick you up, I asked if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> me to pick you up,” Inseong pointed out, and Sanghyuk’s brain was too much of a disaster at the moment to sort through any of that. “Promise me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip again as his head pounded. Would he be able to make it to Inseong’s like this if it got as bad as it did last time? Would he just pass out in the middle of the streets again?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… can’t,” Sanghyuk finally muttered, fingers curling tightly around the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then where are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Outside of Kyun’s hospital,” Sanghyuk mumbled, and without anything else exchanged, the call ended. Sanghyuk barely shoved the phone back in his pocket before lowering himself to the ground to lean against the wall behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His vision faded in and out between something close to being able to see colors and shapes to black splotches as his head lulled to the side. It honestly hurt so badly. Everything in his head hurt so bad that he knew he had tears streaming down his cheeks. But his body barely moved. He felt frozen where he was as he just wished the pain would subside. He wanted it to go away so badly. His ears rang so he couldn’t hear anything around himself, and he could barely see straight, actually on the border of blacking out from the pain pulsating from behind his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had done this to himself, and he knew it. He blamed nobody but himself for this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How would life have been for him if he never took the bait? If he never picked up that gun in the first place and never contemplated ever doing anything bad like that. How would his life be? Would him and Chanhee be in Seoul still? Probably not. They probably wouldn’t even talk to Youngkyun or Taeyang anymore. Would both of them be working full time to pay for a tiny apartment? Would… would anything be better? Or would it all just be just as bad but in a different way? No… Sanghyuk didn’t really think it could get much worse, to be honest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was crying before he could stop himself, not from the pain, but from the knowledge that he had fucked himself over so badly. He had ruined everything his life could have been and he knew it. Everything bad that happened to anyone because of Anonymous was because of him. Everything bad that happened to Youngkyun was because of him. Anything bad that happened to Inseong… was because of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was all because of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was curling in on himself, falling to his side in tears as he silently cried out. His lips pulled back, wincing in pain as his head pounded again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want it to stop,” he mumbled, his fingernails digging harshly into his skin. It was just more pain and it did nothing to distract him, but if he didn’t do it he felt like he wasn’t holding onto anything and maybe he would just drift apart piece by piece. “I just… I want it- I want it to end,” he cried, feeling the side of his head against the cool cement beneath him, wanting nothing more than to just become one with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s legs curled up to his chest as he cried, turning his face to face the cement, wishing to shield himself with anything, but knowing he had nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please help me,” he found himself mumbling, the tears falling harder and faster. “Anyone just… please… please help me,” he cried, wincing as his head pounded again, a feeling embracing his arms and pulling him up into a sitting position. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even really comprehend that he was sitting upright again until he felt the sensation of a warm hand gently grazing over his chin, wiping away his tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes slightly, just succumbing to more tears as he saw the familiar boy in front of him. He leaned forward, letting Inseong catch him as he dug his fingers into his palm. Inseong held him close, patting his back and soothing him as he sunk into his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong had come to help him. He had asked for help and here he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk it’s okay,” Inseong soothed in a gentle voice, shifting to hold him even closer. Sanghyuk buried his eyes into Inseong’s shoulder, wincing from the burst of pain from behind his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk found himself crying, but not even just to Inseong. It was for everything. It was an apology for everything that he had done to everyone and every bad thing he had ever become the cause of. It was an apology for making Inseong come save him even when he needed saving himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t accept your apology,” Inseong told him carefully, his fingers curling around Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “Because you have nothing to apologize for.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s words only made the tears fall even harder down Sanghyuk’s face, soaking Inseong’s shirt. He lied to Inseong. He couldn’t even tell him his identity and he used him. Again… Sanghyuk had </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> to apologize for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you stand?” Inseong asked gently, but Sanghyuk honestly didn’t even feel like he could move. The cold air nipped at his skin, freezing his body as he threatened to just completely collapse. The weight of every lie he told and every secret he held pushed him down, the force stronger than gravity as he struggled to keep himself above ground. He felt like if he let go of Inseong now he would just plummet to the center of the earth. But did he really deserve to hold onto Inseong now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Inseong urged him, standing up and pulling Sanghyuk up with him. Slowly, Sanghyuk let him drag him upwards until he was barely standing on his own two feet. He never let go on Inseong, every movement bringing a new wave of pain through his head and every sensation overwhelming him. But not Inseong. Inseong didn’t overwhelm him. He grounded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed out, his worries somewhat deflating with each breath he took, although the pain didn’t subside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay to stand?” Inseong asked, bringing Sanghyuk to realize that he was leaning most of his weight on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so, to be honest,” Sanghyuk confessed quietly, biting his lip as he held tightly onto Inseong. He didn’t want to let go. He was afraid if he let go he really would fall to the center of the earth. His head continued to pound, his eyes shut tight just wishing it would go away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt dizzy, even knowing Inseong was right there holding onto him. His eyes felt like they were spinning in his head, and he slowly felt like he was losing his grip on Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong?” he breathed out, curling his fingers around Inseong’s shoulders as Inseong pulled him tightly against his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m gonna black out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit on his lip quietly, avoiding every single glance Inseong threw in his direction. He had his hands folded on the table in front of himself, waiting for Inseong to either say something to just flat out demand his attention, which he was very obviously trying to catch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In this way, Sanghyuk realized how fantastic of an actor Inseong was. The boy went about cooking for the two of them, keeping his chin up as if Sanghyuk’s silence didn’t bother him even slightly. But even without looking up to him, Sanghyuk could feel his gaze on him. He could feel Inseong sparing glances at him. Had he not been able to sense it, though, he really would have believed Inseong wasn’t watching him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it,” Sanghyuk finally gritted out, teeth bared together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you assume I have anything to say?” Inseong asked innocently, grabbing two plates from his cabinets. His apartment was tiny but cozy, and definitely not what Sanghyuk expected from the boyfriend of Lee Jaeyoon. He expected leather couches and a fancy TV with a king sized bed sitting in front of it. Inseong’s apartment was nothing but cozy, though. It was comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t everyone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What bothered you so much?” Inseong asked, finally turning around and asking him. “I guess is what I wanted to ask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you assume something bothered me?” Sanghyuk challenged, raising his chin to face the older boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re concerned with my opinion of what happens, which makes me think you being worried about someone’s opinion is what set off the migraine,” Inseong explained easily, setting the plates down on the counter. “I’m just saying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a pout, turning his eyes away again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then can you do me a favor?” Inseong asked, walking over to the small table Sanghyuk was currently sitting at. He placed his hand gently on Sanghyuk’s shoulder and tilted his head to see Sanghyuk better. Sanghyuk really didn’t want to look over to him, but Inseong quite literally just stood like that and waited, so finally Sanghyuk turned to face him with a huff. Inseong smiled when he finally turned to see him, his cheeks puffing out and teeth poking out between his lips. “Don’t be bitter about it,” Inseong told him, moving his hand to Sanghyuk’s hair and ruffling it before walking away. “Stop pretending like I care that you needed help. I don’t. I’m glad you called me,” he said as he made his way back to the kitchen. Sanghyuk pouted again. “When’s the last time someone cooked for you?” Inseong asked suddenly, stirring the food in the pan as he looked up to Sanghyuk for an answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his mouth to give him an answer but was cut off by the fact that he couldn’t remember. Whenever he didn’t cook he was eating at a restaurant. Had it been months since his last home cooked meal? Maybe years? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about a movie night?” Inseong asked, clearly reading the answer on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Sanghyuk asked defensively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t answer me,” Inseong accused, pointing the spoon in his hand at him. “Because you don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” Sanghyuk defended quickly, pushing himself to his feet. “I like cooking! I don’t need to waste my life watching movies. Why does any of that matter?” Sanghyuk asked, more or less strutting up to Inseong in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you could use a little bit more of that in your life,” Inseong suggested, whipping around to face him with no warning and placing the back of his hand on Sanghyuk’s forehead. He flinched away at first, but Inseong didn’t react to it, still pressing his hand against him just as easily. “You don’t feel hot, so that’s good. Does your head still hurt?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My head always hurts,” Sanghyuk told him truthfully, his shoulders dropping into a slouch. “Do you have any Ibuprofen or Advil?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How about we try something else instead of drugging the pain away?” Inseong asked, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow in Sanghyuk’s direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this the part where we call my fairy godmother then? So she can take my headaches away?” Sanghyuk asked, almost tempted to laugh out of the ridiculousness of Inseong’s idea. How else would the pain go away? This was just how he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eat this,” Inseong told him suddenly, grabbing a piece of meat from the pan with metal chopsticks and blowing on it, cupping his hand underneath it, before shoving it towards Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The whole meal isn’t prepared yet,” Sanghyuk pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” Inseong told him smugly, gesturing to the meat still stuck between the chopsticks. “Eat. It.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, leaning forward slightly and opening his mouth so Inseong could feed him. The boy seemed satisfied, happily placing the meat in his mouth and going back to cooking. Sanghyuk gave Inseong a thumbs up as he chewed, leaving a satisfied smile on Inseong’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But couldn’t you let me help?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head. “I feel bad. I’ve already practically invited myself here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I didn’t want you here I would have just hung up,” Inseong pointed out, stirring the contents of the pan again. “So stop fussing and let me cook you a fucking meal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn, okay,” Sanghyuk surrendered with a faint smile, holding his hands up, palms facing Inseong, as he backed away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sit down,” Inseong ordered, gesturing his chin towards the table. “You literally passed out from a headache. Sit down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Headache</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk mocked with a laugh, obeying Inseong nonetheless and taking a seat at the table. He actually felt bad for not being able to help Inseong with the meal, but the boy had made it quite obvious that he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> his help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Sanghyuk had expected nothing but the best from Inseong, who put his whole soul into the food he prepared, but to say his meal was good was an understatement. He had made japchae, stir fried noodles. Sanghyuk had made the same thing dozens of times, but the way Inseong made it was different. It felt like an explosion of taste in his mouth, and he hadn’t really realized how hungry he was until now either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare ask me if I like it, this is so good. Your food is incredible,” Sanghyuk cut him off, holding his hand in front of his mouth since he wasn’t done chewing, but yet he felt the need to cut the older boy off anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong leaned forward on the table, his arms resting on the surface, as Sanghyuk continued to enjoy his meal. Sanghyuk knew he was watching him, but honestly he didn’t care at all. Inseong’s cooking was just so incredibly good that he didn’t want to stop eating, or maybe it was because in all honesty this </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> one of the first home cooked meals he had in such a long time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, despite his better interest, he decided to comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you expecting something?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile, not even looking up as he stuck his chopsticks into the bowl again, stirring the noodles around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay to go home tonight?” Inseong finally asked, resting his chin in his hand while he continued to watch Sanghyuk eat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk lifted his chopsticks, pointing them at Inseong’s bowl before sticking them back in his own. “Eat. Your food will get cold,” he scolded him. “And yeah, I’ll be fine now. It’s nothing but a dull headache now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to stay the night anyways?” Inseong asked, finally picking his own chopsticks back up and sitting properly in his seat, digging into the bowl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t I imposed enough?” Sanghyuk asked with a pained smile and half of a laugh, picking up another bundle of noodles and stuffing them between his lips. He was going to regret eating so fast when his food was all gone, but that was a problem for future him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t be imposing,” Inseong clarified, stirring his noodles before picking up a chunk of them. “I’m asking if you want to stay and have a movie night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A movie night?” Sanghyuk asked, actually pausing in his action and looking up to Inseong. “You… you mentioned that earlier,” he added in a lower voice, furrowing his brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded to confirm, not lifting his eyes from his bowl. “And you couldn’t remember the last time you’ve had one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what?” Sanghyuk asked with a pout, returning to his bowl. “Who cares?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me, because it’s sad,” Inseong confessed bluntly, looking up to Sanghyuk this time. “Who doesn’t have a movie night to de-stress every now and then? I mean, seriously! Do you just live with all the stress in your life and never try to shake any of it off?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, picking at his noodles. “Trying to relieve my stress has never really worked for me I guess,” Sanghyuk confessed quietly. That wasn’t entirely true. He felt free when he was Dawon, or at least he had up until recently. But even lately Dawon was causing most of the stress in his life. For him, the only way to get rid of his stress was to create more of it, and he was clearly terrible at making good decisions in his life, which is why he was where he was now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m done eating,” Inseong blurted out, pushing his bowl forward towards Sanghyuk before standing up. Sanghyuk looked up with furrowed brows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong there’s still like half of the bowl left,” he observed, looking up towards Inseong as the boy pushed in his chair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Less than half,” Inseong argued, looking briefly at his bowl before shrugging. “Finish it for me. I’m going to go get you pajamas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong no you need to eat,” Sanghyuk denied without hesitation, pushing the bowl just a smidge more towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Inseong agreed, grabbing his chopsticks and dipping them back into the bowl, stealing one more bite before placing them back down on the table and trotting off to his bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed as he looked down to the bowls in front of him. No doubt Inseong had given him more because of how hungry he seemed. Did Inseong know he wasn’t eating well lately, or was it just because he liked the food so much? With all the stress of Youngkyun being in the hospital and Anonymous roaming the streets, Sanghyuk had honestly lost his appetite. He told Chanhee he was eating at the cafe, but he told Inseong he had been eating at home. Youngkyun didn’t ask, and Taeyang was too preoccupied to wonder if he was eating or not. Sanghyuk didn’t blame them, after all, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn’t the one in the hospital. But did Inseong know how little he had eaten in the past few days? He hoped Chanhee hadn’t caught on, but he supposed it wouldn’t be as bad if Inseong had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, he dipped his chopsticks back into his bowl, agreeing with himself to finish Inseong’s bowl only this one time, and never again. He really was hungry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong came out wearing a pair of black sweatpants that hugged his ankles, a grey long-sleeved shirt hanging off his frame. Even though he was wearing pajamas, he still put in the effort to tuck in his shirt. Sanghyuk thought it was endearing, finishing the noodles in Inseong’s bowl to suppress his smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have these for you,” Inseong told him, placing them down on the chair next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re not Jaeyoon’s right?” Sanghyuk asked, pushing in his chair as he stood up, grabbing the dishes from the table first. “No offense, but I don’t want to smell like him. His cologne is kind of nasty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip as soon as he spoke, realizing there was no instance Inseong knew of where he would have had a chance to smell Jaeyoon’s cologne. He tried not to let his eyes pop out of his head as he realized his mistake, his whole body freezing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re not his,” Inseong confirmed with a semi smile, shrugging. “And I agree. Everyone thinks it’s a trend to wear it, right? But every time I smell it I wonder why he ever chose it in the first place.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk let out a big breath of air as slowly as he could to avoid Inseong noticing, his heart calming as his nerves eased. Thank god Inseong was kind of an idiot when it came to things like this. He brought the dishes over to the kitchen, naturally grabbing a sponge to wash them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t like your own boyfriend’s cologne,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a laugh, finding it hilarious. Of course, it was obvious Inseong and Jaeyoon didn’t quite get along as well as they let on to the public, but it was still funny. How had Jaeyoon not completely repulsed Inseong when they first met? </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk frowned as he cleaned the last bowl in his hands, drying it with the towel by the side of the counter. “Wait… does Jaeyoon know I’m staying the night?” Sanghyuk asked, raising his eyebrows as he turned around to face Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong opened his mouth to answer, but Sanghyuk could tell by the look on his face that it hadn’t even occurred to the boy to tell his boyfriend he had another guy staying the night. Something about that didn’t settle right with Sanghyuk. It wasn’t the fact that Inseong hadn’t told Jaeyoon, because in all honesty Sanghyuk preferred that he didn’t. It was the fact that Inseong hadn’t even thought about it, like it wasn’t something he was supposed to concern himself with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does he… have to know?” Inseong asked, almost like he was testing the waters of the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips as he set the last bowl down. It was better if Jaeyoon didn’t know, right? After all, he would only misinterpret it and maybe even request to meet Sanghyuk. It was better, then, to not tell him. Right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does who have to know what?” Sanghyuk decided to ask, smiling at Inseong as he made his way back over to the chair. He grabbed the pajamas from the chair, making his way over to the bathroom to change. After closing the door, it occurred to him that one person he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell was Chanhee. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to text the other, typing out that he had had a migraine and would stay the night with Inseong since the boy offered, but his thumb hovered over the send button. Chanhee would worry if he knew he had another migraine, right? And of course, it was kind of an unspoken rule that Sanghyuk would always tell Chanhee, but wouldn’t the younger boy worry a bit too much? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Biting his lip, he deleted the message. He typed a new one instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Chanhee. I’m staying the night with Inseong. He insists on having a movie night and I feel bad saying no. You’ll be okay tonight, right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk let out a shaky breath as he placed his phone back on the counter, undressing himself. It was okay because it was only a small lie, right? It would be okay. Chanhee didn’t have to know anyways. It was fine. Everything was fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could feel his hands beginning to shake again as his head pounded just a little bit more, and he pulled on the pajamas as quickly as he could, not even looking to see what they looked like on him before grabbing his phone and leaving the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was ready to close his eyes and force himself to calm down in front of Inseong, refusing to let himself panic over something so small, but he couldn’t help but freeze the second his eyes found Inseong. The boy had dimmed the lights in the house, the TV in the living room lit up with fairy lights decorating the wall behind it. The couch was decorated with comfy looking blankets and pillows, and Inseong even had a bowl of chips set out on the small table in front of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ta-da!” he announced happily, his smile stretching across his face completely as he held his arms out wide, displaying the set up. “Movie night!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sight of Inseong’s smile seemed to calm Sanghyuk’s nerves instantly. He felt his stress deflating from him like Inseong had scared it all away, forcing it back into the corners of his mind. It was just like what being Dawon did for him, except without the addition of new stress. This was so much calmer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk let a smile creep onto his face as he made his way over to the living room, admiring the setup. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to watch first? Actually, never mind, I’m picking the first movie,” Inseong decided, grabbing the remote and dramatically plopping down onto the couch, patting the cushion by his side without even looking in Sanghyuk’s direction, just expecting him to take his seat. And he did. No arguments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk started out on the couch with his legs curled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. He watched the movie intently, afraid that if he didn’t Inseong would personally have his head for it. Inseong chose Parasite, which was fine with Sanghyuk because he had heard it was a good movie. Towards the end, Inseong had scooted slightly closer to him, horrified by the ending. Sanghyuk thought it was hilarious, enjoying the chaotic nature of the movie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was given the option to choose next, but since he didn’t really have any good movies in mind, he just let Inseong pick again. To say the boy was appalled to find out he had never seen Train to Busan was an understatement, and he was subjected to another violent movie. Again, it was fine, since it was entertaining. Sanghyuk found himself completely wrapped up in the movies, actually paying attention to the characters and story lines. It distracted him, and Sanghyuk didn’t realize how easily he could be distracted by something as simple as a movie. But with the combination of the movies and Inseong by his side, it was almost like he had no stress to begin with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the end of their third movie, Inseong’s head had begun to sway a bit. Sanghyuk watched him carefully, scooting just a bit closer as Inseong’s eyes drooped shut, his head lying gently on his shoulder. Sanghyuk made sure to catch him carefully, knowing damn well he would probably get little to no sleep anyways. He hadn’t lately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you.. ‘ncomfortable?” Inseong mumbled. Sanghyuk actually had to pause for a second before his brain fully understood Inseong’s words, and he resisted the urge to laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” he whispered, making himself just a bit more comfy as Inseong dozed off of his shoulder. Sanghyuk tried to pull the smile off his lips, but he couldn’t for some reason. He didn’t even want to pay attention to the movies anymore, his eyes continuously glancing to Inseong at his side. He was sure he was paying more attention to him now than the movie anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the third movie, Sanghyuk decided sitting up was probably uncomfortable for the boy anyways. He got up from the couch carefully, making sure to support Inseong’s head as he moved out from under him. He turned the TV off, tiptoeing around the couch as he carefully slid his arms under Inseong’s back and legs. </span>
  <span>He picked him up slowly, noting how much taller the boy was than him and how awkward it was to carry him, but Inseong was surprisingly light. He pushed the door to Inseong’s room open with his back, wincing as he set Inseong down on his mattress. He pulled the covers back carefully, pulling them over Inseong’s body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay,” Inseong mumbled as he stepped back from the bed, his hand moving slightly towards him, but not even really lifting off the bed. Sanghyuk pouted as he realized Inseong probably thought he was Jaeyoon in his sleepy state. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled his lips into a thin line, fixing the corner of the blankets on the bed. Inseong’s fingers carefully wrapped around Sanghyuk’s wrist as he did, and although it would have been so easy to pull his hand free, he didn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go to sleep,” Sanghyuk whispered with a genuine smile this time. He moved to pull his hand away, but the small amount of force Inseong used to hold onto him made him stop. He felt almost guilty trying to pull his wrist free. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk… stay,” Inseong mumbled, his eyes still completely closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his lips to tell him no, but his voice got stuck in his throat as he watched Inseong’s fingers hold tightly onto his wrist. Inseong didn’t want Jaeyoon by his side. He hadn’t even called out his boyfriend’s name. He wanted… Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” Sanghyuk denied, looking down at the bed. He was many things, but not that. Inseong was half asleep now. He would misunderstand it in the morning. Too many things would go wrong and he refused to let that happen. “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he whispered, gently pulling at his wrist again. This time, Inseong let go. Sanghyuk smiled gently at him, backing away as carefully as he could until he could close the door to the room behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but Sanghyuk was used to it, and he didn’t mind. He was tired, but he knew he wouldn’t fall asleep anyways. His eyes stared emptily up to the ceiling above him, just stirring in through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t tear his mind from the subject of Inseong and Jaeyoon. No matter how hard he tried, he just kept coming back to it. His suspicion was that Jaeyoon was abusing Inseong, and he was almost sure of that, too. He refused to let that go. And yet, even despite that, Sanghyuk felt like he was missing something. With all the time he spent around Inseong, almost 84 days now to be exact, he still didn’t know everything. Inseong was better at hiding things than Sanghyuk gave him credit for, even with how much he knew, or at least thought he knew. There was still so much Sanghyuk didn’t know, and he just couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something huge that would clue him into everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk heard the door to Inseong’s room open, and as much as he wanted to sigh and push himself up, just to scold the older back to bed, he restrained himself. He stayed perfectly still, listening as Inseong’s footsteps traveled across the house, slowly making his way over to the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy was walking with his eyes closed, it seemed, but he was definitely awake. He moved over to the couch with a bundle of blankets in his arms, dropping them in a heap on the floor. Sanghyuk wanted to ask what he was doing, but he didn’t even know how to ask. He couldn’t seem to even open his mouth properly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carefully, Inseong sat down on the edge of the couch, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up onto his lap. He spread it out over Sanghyuk’s legs, too, making sure it was absolutely perfect, or as good as he was going to get it, before laying back on the couch cuddled against Sanghyuk’s chest. He pulled the blankets higher up over both of them, snuggling against Sanghyuk and hiding his chin in the blankets. He said nothing, gave no explanation, and seemingly fell right back asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t really know what to do in this situation, because this was a bit too much in his mind. This could so easily have been misunderstood, and could totally backfire on him. He should have just woken Inseong up. He should have pushed him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But instead, Sanghyuk found his arms slowly falling around Inseong, holding him close to his chest. He began to relax into the cushions of the couch, Inseong breathing evenly against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just like that, Sanghyuk stopped thinking about him and Jaeyoon. He stopped thinking about Youngkyun and Taeyang and he stopped caring about Anonymous. He stopped worrying about Chanhee and everything else going terribly wrong in his life right now. And he just held Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just like that, Sanghyuk knew for sure that him staying around Inseong had nothing to do with getting dirt on Jaeyoon anymore. It hadn’t been about that in probably a long, long time. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes flung open at the sound of a loud ringing, lurching forward from the sudden jolt of shock. He hadn’t realized until seconds later that Inseong had fallen to the ground with a loud thud, frantically searching for his phone with wide eyes. Sanghyuk recognized the ringtone, blinking himself completely awake as he looked to his side, just watching Inseong. It seriously took him way longer than it should have to remember he fell asleep next to Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck!” Inseong cursed, finally pulling his phone from the tangled mess of blankets on the ground which had fallen with Inseong. The taller boy jumped quickly back onto the couch as he answered the call, holding his hand over Sanghyuk’s mouth to keep him quiet. Sanghyuk just watched with wide eyes, unmoving. “Hi,” he answered quietly, wincing. Sanghyuk could see the panic in his eyes as he swallowed, his fingers slightly twitching as he held the phone to his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really wanted to believe it was just the shock from waking up so suddenly, but he knew it wasn’t that. The pressure with which Inseong held his hand over his mouth, the scared look in his wide eyes, his shaky breath, and how he panicked when he couldn’t find his phone all made him believe the worst, as usual. But Sanghyuk didn’t comment on it. He followed along with Inseong’s game like he always did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you?” Jaeyoon answered from the other end of the line. His voice didn’t exactly sound caring and loving like Sanghyuk would expect, even though he could just barely hear it. Inseong’s eyes flickered to Sanghyuk, his teeth biting his lips in panic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was weird how Inseong didn’t answer the phone by calling Jaeyoon “babe” like he usually did. It was weird how Jaeyoon didn’t speak so lovingly to him. It was weird how Inseong looked like he didn’t know what to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it a code word? Him and Chanhee had plenty of them. They had a secret language of communication, so was it possible him and Jaeyoon had one too? It was weird how Jaeyoon treated him so kindly in public, even over the phone where he had no possible way of knowing where Inseong was. Unless he did know. What if… Jaeyoon knew if there were people around him by the way he answered the phone? What if “babe” was Jaeyoon’s cue that there was somebody else around? If Inseong called him “babe” now, wouldn’t Jaeyoon find it weird that there was someone else over Inseong’s house? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed slightly like Inseong had no choice in the situation he was in, stuck between not wanting Sanghyuk to hear and not wanting to give Jaeyoon a reason to be suspicious. </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk knew the feeling of being stuck. It reminded him of back at the bake sale when he had wanted Inseong to run away with him. It was his in between. Inseong needed an in between, even if Sanghyuk was wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk locked eyes with Inseong in the few seconds Inseong sat frozen in front of him, not answering. Inseong was panicking. So Sanghyuk would give him an in between. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Sanghyuk lifted his hands, covering his ears. Inseong didn’t really seem to know what to do with Sanghyuk’s gesture, just sitting with wide eyes. Sanghyuk sighed, gesturing to the phone with his chin, holding his hands tighter around his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong answered the phone almost immediately after, climbing off of Sanghyuk and walking to the other side of the house. Sanghyuk knew it was bad, and that his involvement with Inseong had nothing to do with Jaeyoon anymore, but still, he found his hands slowly peeling away from his ears, just enough to let him listen in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m at home, where else would I be?” Inseong asked as he made his way over to the kitchen. Sanghyuk closed his eyes to make himself seem more secluded, like he couldn’t hear Inseong’s half of the conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re coming over? Who invited you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip harshly. He hoped he overheard wrong. Jaeyoon wasn’t coming over right? Jaeyoon wasn’t coming over when he was here right now. That wasn’t true. God, this was going to be a disaster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you just come by another time? I have work today,” Inseong whined. Sanghyuk could hear him pacing around the house, but really Sanghyuk’s head was spinning with a cloud of information. Was this how him and Inseong talked to each other when nobody else was listening? Jaeyoon was coming over? Would he find Sanghyuk here? “I don’t want you to drive me in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled, trying to focus, but he could feel himself starting to panic slightly. He couldn’t meet Jaeyoon. Whatever he did, he had to avoid meeting Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon, I said I don’t want you to fucking drive me!” Inseong shouted in as low of a voice as he could possibly manage while so worked up, and his shout of anger almost made Sanghyuk flinch. He had to remember that Inseong was probably watching him. He couldn’t know he was listening. “Why do you have to come over right now? There’s no reporters here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could hear Inseong coming closer to him from the sound of his footsteps. He made sure to keep his hands perfectly positioned to look like he was still covering his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long until you’re here?” Inseong asked in a dull voice, most likely entering the living room area. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in my car already. I’ll be there in like three minutes. Stay on the phone with-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can wait at the door,” Inseong spat at him, hanging up and dropping his phone to the couch. “SANGHYUK!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his eyes quickly, pulling his hands away from his ears. Inseong stood in front of him with a panicked expression on his face. Sanghyuk really didn’t expect him to scream like that, and he had literally no idea what to do next. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is going to be here in three minutes. You need to leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” Sanghyuk told him, pulling himself off the couch quickly and leaning down to grab the blankets. Inseong began picking up the snack bowls from the table, running them back to the kitchen while Sanghyuk hauled the blankets back to Inseong’s bedroom, spreading them out over the bed and making it up as neatly as he could under the building stress. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong quickly moved over to the kitchen area, putting everything they used for dinner last night away in their places with loud clunks and clashes from the lack of care he put into it. Sanghyuk grabbed his clothes from yesterday, hooking his fingers into his shoes to grab them as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!” Inseong called out to him, running over to him and placing his hands on his shoulders. Inseong looked so panicked and frazzled, completely out of breath as he grabbed Sanghyuk’s shoulders. “Jaeyoon is driving me into work today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sanghyuk noted with a nod, understanding Inseong’s implication to show up separately, as if he even considered waiting in the first place.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you do me a favor?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Sanghyuk told him with a nod, doing his best to process everything as quickly as he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong bit his lip in front of him, eyes flickering to the door. “Show up late.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“La- late?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t come for at least twenty minutes. Come late. Don’t come at all. I don’t care. Just don’t be early and don’t be on time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of everything Sanghyuk was expecting, Inseong asking him to avoid Jaeyoon was the last. He was trying to process the information in his head, but he could barely even begin to think as the doorbell rang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s mouth fell open as his hands shoved Sanghyuk harshly towards his room. Inseong grabbed Sanghyuk’s phone, pushing it into his arms as he pushed him into his room. “Get out quickly and quietly </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Inseong begged him, unlatching the window for him before moving back over to the door. “I’m sorry I’m really sorry,” he finished, closing the door behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t even process what he was doing before he was over by the window. He took his clothes and shoes, throwing them out of the window as quickly as he could. He stuck one leg through as he heard the door open, wincing and cursing as he ducked his head, holding on carefully to the frame of the window as he pulled himself through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh.. why is your bedroom door closed?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cursed, looking down below him to the drop which was less than decent for landing on asphalt. He only had one of his legs out of the window and was struggling to get out of it without throwing himself to the ground, but he could feel his hands sweating as he listened intently, trying to pull himself through the window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t my door be closed?” he heard Inseong challenge. There was a pause as Sanghyuk silently hooked his other arm through the window, now just having the task of getting his last leg through. “Jaeyoon wait why are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk panicked. Before Inseong had even finished speaking, Sanghyuk let go of the window, his body falling to the asphalt below him. His whole body burned with the scrapes and cuts stinging on his arms, but he didn’t even have time to wince at them as he reached forward for his clothes and shoes, hugging them to his chest. He heard the door to Inseong’s room open, and with no time left to get away, Sanghyuk did the only thing he could think of. He backed against the wall directly under Inseong’s window and closed his eyes, wishing he was invisible. His arms burned horribly, and Sanghyuk could feel blood pooling in his mouth from biting his tongue too hard when he fell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hugged his arms to his chest, holding his breath. He sucked in as much air as he could and imagined he was folding himself against the shape of the wall behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you think was going to be in my room?” Inseong questioned harshly. Sanghyuk had no choice but to listen now, holding his breath as wishing he was anywhere else. Staying the night was a bad idea. This was so fucking risky. It was worse if Jaeyoon met him now this way, because like this he would assume the worst of everything. And the second he heard his voice he would know who he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t argue with me so much and maybe I wouldn’t be so suspicious,” Jaeyoon more or less sneered at him. “Why is your window open? Do you want to be sick or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping to jump out of it and kill myself before I had to deal with you again today,” Inseong sneered back. Sanghyuk heard the sound of the window being shut harshly above him, and finally he felt like he could release his pent up breath. He let himself breathe for only a second before looking up at the window, carefully scooting away from it. The second he was out from under it, he stood to his feet and started running. He ran as fast as he could, his side burning and his lungs gasping in the cold air as he pushed himself as far away from Inseong’s house as he could. He pulled his phone out, bringing it to his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee I need you to pick me up! Please!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk what the fuck?! Where are you?” Chanhee answered immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know! All I know is Jaeyoon is at Inseong’s house now and I had to jump out of a fucking window to get out. Please- please come pick me up,” Sanghyuk begged, finally running out of breath as he slowed, finally coming to a stop where he placed his hand on the wall beside him to keep him standing up right. “Chanhee please come pick me up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m already tracking your phone,” Chanhee reassured him. “God you’re such a fucking idiot. I’m coming Hyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t want to move around too much while Chanhee came to him, so he did the only thing he could think to do. He sat down and waited. The fabric of the pajama sleeves rubbed up harshly against the cuts on Sanghyuk’s arms, but he wasn’t just going to rip the shirt off in public like this when it was the only thing keeping him somewhat warm. His shirt wouldn’t exactly make his arms feel much better anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to be more careful. He had known last night that staying would be a bad idea, but he wasn’t thinking it would be a bad idea because of Jaeyoon finding him. He hadn’t even thought about Jaeyoon visiting in the morning. What would have happened if Jaeyoon hadn’t called Inseong first? Judging by the way they talked to each other, Jaeyoon calling was a blessing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> they talk to each other that way? Sanghyuk really couldn’t stop thinking about it in the back of his mind now that the adrenaline was draining from his system. Inseong had told Jaeyoon right to his face he would have rather jumped out a window than see him. And by the way he said it, it sounded like he meant it. Did Inseong usually say things like that to Jaeyoon? Did Jaeyoon always speak so rudely to him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More importantly… </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> did they talk to each other that way? Sanghyuk couldn’t think of a single thing that could go so terribly wrong in a good relationship for them to end up like that. His head began pounding again as he thought about it. He was missing something. He had all the puzzle pieces but he had no idea what the final picture was supposed to be. And as he started putting smaller pieces together, the picture just seemed more and more impossible to figure out. What was he missing?! What little pieces couldn’t he figure out?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk oh my god.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk lifted his head slowly, blinking as Chanhee ran up to him, crouching down in front of him. He had a black hoodie hooked over his head, zipped around his small frame. It was obvious the boy hadn’t woken up too long ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something is so wrong, Chanhee,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling, pulling his arms around him despite how much it hurt. His head hurt, too. Pounding. His whole body, his head, his eyes. They were all pounding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wrong? Sanghyuk, what’s wrong?” Chanhee asked, tilting his head as he grabbed Sanghyuk’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit lightly on his lip, and he saw Chanhee’s eyes widen a little as he looked down to it. His mouth was covered in blood, right? It tasted that way. “Inseong and Jaeyoon’s relationship. There’s something </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, Hyuk,” Chanhee assured him. His eyes throbbed, his breathing falling out of pace. How fast was his heart beating now? “Inseong is being abused, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t… I don’t even know anymore,” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling. Why was he shaking? He could feel himself shaking, but he couldn’t stop it. He wanted to stop it. He wanted it to stop. Just for it to stop. It had to stop. Why wasn’t it stopping? “I mean…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What kind of abusive couple has code words to let the other know when there are people around?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean sure it’s still abusive but why does it feel like Inseong is part of it even though I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> he doesn’t want to be. I mean how could it have gone so-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-wrong?! I don’t understand what happened to make it this way and I don’t understand!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk shut the fuck up!” Chanhee yelled at him, grabbing onto his shoulders. “You’re panicking yourself!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could feel himself caving into his pain, grimacing as he fell into Chanhee’s shoulder. His ears started to ring again, and slowly it dawned on him what was happening. “No… no no no no no-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s happening again,” he squeaked out, closing his eyes as tightly as he could. “Chanhee I- I don’t know how to make it stop,” he ranted, not even able to stop himself. He couldn’t stop. It wasn’t stopping. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>ending</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you- oh shit it’s a migraine,” Chanhee realized, grabbing onto his shoulders quickly. “Come on, let’s get you to the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing is stopping and it’s all just getting worse!” Sanghyuk yelled, biting his lip as hard as he could to focus on anything but the pain radiating from his head. “Chanhee I just want it to stop!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know! But you have to come to the car with me! Sanghyuk, you have to breathe. I need to get you home to make sure you’re okay!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay. Who was really okay anymore? Jaeyoon wasn’t okay. Something was wrong with him. Something was wrong with the situation. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Inseong wasn’t okay, he was hurting. Nothing about their relationship was </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Youngkyun was in the fucking hospital, and someone had tried to kill him twice. He wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> either. Taeyang had no idea what was going on and was constantly left in the dark. Was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! Was Chanhee </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> dealing with him everyday like this, suffering in the life he had never chosen for himself in the first place?! Who was really okay like this? Was anyone okay? Was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Sanghyuk found himself whispering, his pain covering him like a thick blanket he could never escape from. “I’m not okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Chanhee told him gently, handing him a hot cup of hot chocolate. Sanghyuk accepted it carefully, cradling the cup with both hands before lifting it to his lips. The lower half of his body was covered with warm blankets which Chanhee had tucked around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk appreciated everything Chanhee did for him when he felt so stressed, but he felt bad towards him too. Wasn’t Sanghyuk supposed to be taking care of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Why was he so immature?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t burn your mouth,” Chanhee warned him, pulling a chair over to the couch Sanghyuk was cuddled up on so he could sit on it. He sat on it backwards, of course, folding his arms over the back of it and using it as a chin rest as he leaned forward, watching Sanghyuk drink his drink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Chanhee,” Sanghyuk told him with a small smile, sipping at the drink again. If it was hot, Sanghyuk couldn’t really tell. Maybe his mouth was already burnt and he just didn’t care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>up</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk denied quickly, way too defensively to be considered even slightly believable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course there is,” Chanhee pointed out quickly, pulling his legs up to the rungs of the chair to rest them. “Please, Hyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I’m just stressed,” Sanghyuk whined, hoping that would get him out of having to explain everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Chanhee admitted, his voice sounding as if he was pouting, which he was. “So talk to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we not a team anymore?” Chanhee asked suddenly, looking at Sanghyuk as if he was demanding an answer. “Are we not partners in this mess anymore? Stop lying to me like you did about why you stayed over with Inseong, and just start talking to me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who says I lied about why I stayed over with Inseong?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows and looking up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me! Because I know you lied!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pouted, looking back down to his cup. He heard Chanhee sigh above him, but in all honesty he didn’t want to look up and face him. Chanhee was right, though. When had everything started changing? When had he begun keeping so much from the younger boy? When had he started lying to him? When had he become so distant? During the past few months it almost felt like he was ignoring the boy, for which he suddenly felt immensely terrible for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is talking about it all so hard? Please, Sanghyuk, just talk to me,” Chanhee begged, still looking down at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit on his lip. Chanhee deserved an explanation for everything, at least for putting up with Sanghyuk all this time. “Are you ever angry with me because of the way we live?” he asked quietly, still looking down to the hot chocolate cradled between his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would I be angry?” Chanhee asked. When Sanghyuk lifted his eyes to see Chanhee’s expression, he was thoroughly surprised to see Chanhee blinking down at him in genuine confusion. “Sanghyuk… I never expected to live past the age of being stuck in homes, but we have our own apartment now! I don’t even have a job because I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. We live comfortably, and we both graduated high school. How could I possibly be mad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So even though you have to live constantly lying to people and cheating our way through the system, you don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck the system,” Chanhee told him in a low voice, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “The system never did anything to support us, so why should we do anything to support it? If it weren’t for you being Dawon, who the hell knows where we would be. Life would suck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just because we wouldn’t have money?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. “Chanhee, money isn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Money determines whether you can live happily or not,” Chanhee told him strictly. “You know that, too. That ‘money can’t buy happiness’ thing is bullshit. I’m happy because I’m living comfortably and don’t have to worry. I don’t have to worry about having enough money to pay for bills, not being able to eat, not being able to see my friends, or being abused by those around me. How could I possibly hate the way we live?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pouted. It wasn’t because he was mad at what Chanhee said, it was just because Chanhee genuinely seemed so content with his life. But was he really? Wasn’t he tired? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about college?” Sanghyuk asked him in a quiet voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And exactly why do you think I would have gone to college if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon?” Chanhee asked with a small laugh, shaking his head as a smile curved onto his lips. “Seriously, Hyuk. You being Dawon isn’t an inconvenience to me in any way. It doesn’t stop me from living happily. Hello? Are you forgetting that I’m your partner? Who hacks everyone’s bank accounts? Who helps you make up all your plans? Who drives you around to meet Jaeyoon and patches you up after every fight? Hello? That’s me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help it as a small smile began spreading across his face, and he tried to keep his eyes focused on his hot chocolate to avoid it being seen, but it was way too late for that. Chanhee was already satisfied with his work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So come on, spill it,” Chanhee encouraged, leaning even more forward on his chair. “You barely talk about Inseong and Jaeyoon anymore just to rant. So rant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, thinking over the words in his head. “I’m worried,” he finally decided on, licking his lips again as he thought of how to add onto that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Inseong is being abused?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t even know anymore,” Sanghyuk confessed with a sigh. “Chanhee… you should have heard the way Inseong was talking to Jaeyoon earlier today. I mean, I always have the underlying feeling that Inseong is somewhat scared of Jaeyoon, but today Inseong just answered the phone call and insulted him. He talked rudely towards him because Jaeyoon talked rudely first. And Jaeyoon wasn’t confused by his tone at all, like that’s just how they normally talk when nobody is listening. And I just- I’m so confused because of it,” Sanghyuk ranted, not even paying attention to his drink anymore as he kind of just looked off into the distance, not really looking at anything in particular as he talked. </span>
  <span>“And I think they have a code. You know how we have codes, right? I think they do, too. Because every single time I have ever heard Inseong pick up the phone, he always answers it by calling Jaeyoon ‘babe’ but today he didn’t! He just said ‘hi’ in the most unamused voice I have ever heard him use. And this was the first time I ever heard Jaeyoon speak so plainly towards him through the phone. Every time I see them interact it’s always sweet and so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>fake</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s stupid though,” Chanhee told him, making a face of disgust. “Why would they even agree on a code for that in the first place?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly!” Sanghyuk pointed out, so thankful that Chanhee was understanding his confusion. “That’s why I’m so confused! Because it doesn’t make sense! But before that Inseong was searching for his phone like Jaeyoon would kill him if he didn’t answer it. And then at his house Inseong sassed him to his face and I just… I’m so </span>
  <em>
    <span>confused</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t even speculation, though,” Chanhee pointed out, licking his lips. “Like, you heard these things happen? Inseong sassing him, being scared to miss the phone call, all of that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I’m not just guessing, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> it all happened. And all within minutes of each other, too. And I just can’t understand what their relationship is supposed to be. They sounded like they both despised being around each other, and yet Jaeyoon still came to see him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked down at the ground where his phone laid dormant. Just about an hour ago, Inseong had texted him with just about every word misspelled, but the message was clear. Jaeyoon had decided to stay at the cafe for the day and work with Inseong, so he didn’t want Sanghyuk there. And it hadn’t been a suggestion. Inseong had told him “don’t come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why didn’t Inseong want him around Jaeyoon? Not that Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be around Jaeyoon, because he didn’t, but it was weird. The more Sanghyuk thought about it, the more it seemed like Inseong hadn’t wanted him around Jaeyoon from the beginning. Inseong never liked bringing up Jaeyoon around him, and whenever he took phone calls he always made space or left the room. He never expected Jaeyoon to show up to the bake sale and didn’t seem to want the two to meet. He even had Sanghyuk jump out of a window to avoid meeting him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think… do you think Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’m Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snort that followed Sanghyuk’s question left him with an unamused expression as Chanhee struggled to contain his laughter. “Absolutely not,” the boy told him confidently, swallowing his laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he never wants me near Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, Inseong never wants </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> near Jaeyoon. Have you noticed that?” he pointed out, raising an eyebrow as he readjusted himself on the chair. “Have you ever met him in a situation where he suggests introducing you? Have you ever seen him suggest meeting up with Jaeyoon when he’s with Kyun and Tae? And have you ever seen him even bring up Jaeyoon in conversation around any of us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… no,” Sanghyuk admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shrugged. “I don’t think Inseong wants any of us related to Jaeyoon, that’s all. I mean, think about it. He’s hiding something, right? It makes sense that he wants to keep it a secret then. Keeping everyone away from Jaeyoon is the best way to do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pouted, humming in agreement. It made sense, but still left Sanghyuk feeling iffy about the situation. He was iffy about the whole thing. Something wasn’t right. He was missing something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his mouth to say something, whatever it was became lost in a jumble of thoughts as soon as Chanhee jumped up, though, retrieving his vibrating phone from his pocket. He smiled, quickly answering the call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin, how are you?” he asked, quickly putting the call on speaker. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear to god, every time I breathe I end up getting involved with you two.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, placing his hot chocolate down on the side table before straightening his posture, leaning closer to the phone in interest. “Come on Youngbin! We’re even paying you!” he whined with a pout, which just caused Chanhee to stifle a laugh. “We love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, sure,” Youngbin mumbled. “I feel like a used chess piece, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Do you want your information or not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please!” Sanghyuk spoke, batting his lashes at the phone, even though it was just an audio call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I sent pictures,” Youngbin told them. Sanghyuk reached down to the floor to pick up his phone quickly, opening it to the secure server he had linked Youngbin to earlier. He opened the first picture to see Jaeyoon behind the counter of Inseong’s cafe, smiling as he handed a customer what looked like a cookie. Inseong smiled by his side. It wasn’t bright, though. It was just a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swiped to the next one. Jaeyoon was talking to him in the kitchen, smiling sweetly down at him while holding his hands. Sanghyuk felt absolutely disgusted by the sight. Especially when he saw Inseong giving the same look back up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next picture was of Jaeyoon helping Inseong in the kitchen, leaning over his shoulder in the most cliche pose ever. But maybe Sanghyuk was just being judgmental. Because in all honesty, if he looked at these pictures without knowing either of them, he would call them a cute couple. Inseong looked happy enough to be in a good mood, and Jaeyoon was all smiles and loving stares in Inseong’s direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And seriously, objectively, these pictures told the story of a cute couple working at a cafe together. But that was objectively. And of course, nobody else would have picked up on it, but Sanghyuk did. And in every single one of those pictures, there was something missing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong had hidden the pictures-for-charity jar Sanghyuk had made. Inseong didn’t want people asking for pictures of him and Jaeyoon and forcing them to pose together. And that spoke a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thousand</span>
  </em>
  <span> words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Sanghyuk looked up to Chanhee, he noticed Chanhee was giving him a strange look, but shook it off when he looked up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They look like a happy couple,” Chanhee commented.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a frown, going through the pictures again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna be honest, guys. I looked hard for signs that they weren’t happy together today. But there just aren’t any. They look like a seriously happy couple,” Youngbin told them through the call. “Like Jaeyoon even kissed his cheek and it made Inseong smile.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to mumble ‘gross’ but he held back the urge to say it out loud. Inseong smiling because Jaeyoon kissed his cheek? Disgusting. Them acting like a happy couple? Appalling. They couldn’t really be that happy, even though it seemed that way, right? </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I was hoping to jump out of it and kill myself before I had to deal with you again today,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Inseong had said. Inseong had said that only a few hours earlier. How could they </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly</span>
  </em>
  <span> be a happy couple when that seemed like something he would have so naturally said to him every other day? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Sanghyuk asked, struggling for </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> to grasp onto. Anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, man. They look like a really happy couple. Inseong doesn’t seem uncomfortable with him, and they both just look really happy,” Youngbin told him with a downfall to his voice. “I know you were hoping for something to use against them, but if they are acting, which I seriously doubt, then they’re really fucking good at it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s eyes flickered between Sanghyuk and the phone with an expression he couldn’t quite explain. Was it confusion? Maybe disgust? Maybe disturbed and disgusted confusion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks anyways, Youngbin,” Chanhee told him suddenly, adjusting his position on the chair. “We’ll still pay you for making you do that. Love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, whatever. Just don’t fuck up and do something drastic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s Hyuk’s job, not mine,” Chanhee told him with a laugh before ending the call. He dropped his phone to the ground immediately, spinning around to face Sanghyuk who just stared between him and the discard phone with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sanghyuk asked after a moment of Chanhee just staring at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You care about Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well no shit,” Sanghyuk told him with a snort. “He’s my friend!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you admit this has nothing to do with exposing Jaeyoon anymore?” Chanhee asked, tilting his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “I mean… no, I guess not. Because I really do care for Inseong as a-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could see it in your eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> in my eyes?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How disgusted you are by Jaeyoon now," Chanhee pointed out, but he almost looked like he was on the verge of smiling. "It was never this bad before, but now that you’re so close to Inseong it’s like you can’t even stand the sight of the two of them together. I’d even say you’re jealous!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HEY!” Sanghyuk called out quickly, standing up from the couch. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> despise Jaeyoon, and I’m appalled by him. But I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> jealous!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Awfully defensive for someone who isn’t jealous,” Chanhee commented, baiting him. But of course, Sanghyuk had absolutely no self control, and it was working. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What would I even be jealous of?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon, who’s standing next to Inseong and making him laugh instead of you,” Chanhee commented simply, a smile threatening to tug at the corner of his smuggish lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what? As if I’m the only person who’s allowed to make Inseong laugh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but you don’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span> making him laugh,” Chanhee explained as if he knew everything. Well, he wasn’t wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon isn’t even making him laugh! That’s not real! They’re faking!” Sanghyuk accused, and in that moment he realized how completely insane he sounded. He literally had no proof. And what if Inseong really </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> happy in that moment? What if Sanghyuk was wrong and just sounded completely insane? “Nevermind,” he spat, making Chanhee laugh as he grabbed his cup of hot—now cold—chocolate, bringing it over to the counter and discarding it there instead of actually taking care of it, like he should have. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like jealousy to me,” Chanhee commented with a less than stifled laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we just focus on Anonymous, please?” Sanghyuk begged, spinning around to face Chanhee. Not only was it something he wanted to bring up anyways, but it was a perfect change of subject. “If we can figure out who Anonymous is, then we can figure out how involved Jaeyoon is. We can frame him for the rest if we have to and then finally get him away from Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shrugged. “Okay, okay, fine. But exactly where do you want to start with that? I mean, we have no idea how far Kyun got in it before we kicked him off the project. So where do you want to start?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk groaned, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate this, I hate this so much,” Sanghyuk admitted, doing literally everything in his power not to scream out every swear in the book just looking in the side mirror of the car. Chanhee shut the driver’s door on the other side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This was your idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The outfit was not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Chanhee had lied, because the idea had originally been Chanhee’s suggestion until Sanghyuk made a whole plan out of it, which he was severely regretting now. The outfits had been entirely Chanhee’s idea, and they were, as expected, the worst part of the plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s brilliant!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s humiliating!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s black hair was straightened out around his head, pinned back on the top in the gayest way he could possibly imagine ever having worn it. His blue wash jeans were a higher rise than he normally wore, cuffed at the bottom to expose his ankles. He wore pastel blue converse with short white socks. His shirt was the worst of all, though. Chanhee had ‘found’ a plain white t-shirt, and cut the bottom to a crop. Sanghyuk was wearing a crop top. And specs. Sanghyuk was wearing short socks, cuffed jeans, specs, and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crop top</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I look like the gayest person Korea has ever known!” Sanghyuk whined as Chanhee came around the car. “As a gay guy, this is insulting!” But honestly, he had to wonder how Chanhee was just so okay with it when he was wearing clothes just as bad as his. He had pink skinny jeans on, his hair gelled back to expose his forehead which was just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird </span>
  </em>
  <span>sight in general. His nails were painted pink and his black shirt was a bit crooked on his frame. But honestly, at least it wasn’t as bad as Sanghyuk’s look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop whining I’m dressed like this too,” Chanhee told him, locking the car with the button on his keys. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I look like a flaming homosexual,” Sanghyuk deadpanned, gesturing to his entire outfit. The makeup on his face was itching, even though he wore makeup often. The sparkly lip gloss made it seem just that much worse, though. And of course, Chanhee hadn’t missed the opportunity to doll him up in flamboyant eyeshadow that just screamed “hey I’m a homosexual!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the point,” Chanhee reminded him, stuffing his keys in his pockets. “We both look gay so girls will feel more comfortable talking to us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get the logic here!” Sanghyuk pointed out, stepping back to block Chanhee from just continuing as if they were done discussing this. “Gays aren’t exactly the most accepted people in the country.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s fans are pretty accepting of it, though,” Chanhee pointed out with a shrug. “Remember, Jaeyoon is openly gay. The girls and guys that still accept him are more open to it. So not only will they not bash you for being dressed like that, they might even feel more comfortable talking to you since you seem harmless. Remember. Speak like you’re gay for Jaeyoon-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> say that to me again I will throw myself off the top of this parking garage,” Sanghyuk threatened, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach as he turned around and marched away from the boy. “Ugh, this is humiliating.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could feel his angry footsteps echoing throughout the building as he continued a straight path away from Chanhee. Unbelievable. This was a horrible plan. It would have gone just as fine if he was dressed how he usually was. He didn’t need to be this flamboyant just to get Jaeyoon’s fans to approach him. This was stupid. Everything about this plan was stupid. Stupid and unbelievable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, wait, I left my phone in the car,” Chanhee cursed from behind him. Sanghyuk groaned as he spun around, his voice echoing off of every wall in the structure. “Give me a second,” he said with wide eyes as he turned around to run back to the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “Hurry up!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he watched Chanhee run away from him, his eyes ventured over to the line of cars in the garage. The lovely sleek black Porsche Cayenne caught his eyes first, an insanely beautiful and expensive car, so badly parked in a shitty parking garage. It had a small stuffed tiger peeking out the back window. A couple cars away from it was a stunning red Lexus, though Sanghyuk couldn’t put his finger on the exact model. It was beautiful, though, and clearly shined to perfection. There were about three different Hyundai Santa Fes, all different colors, parked around the area. All of them were clearly well taken care of and relatively new. On the other side of the walls, most of the cars were just as well taken care of and shiney. They flaunted money and social status, but the effect was lessened by the decaying state of the garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really was left wondering how Jaeyoon’s fans had so much money they could just waste. Most of these cars were ridiculously expensive, even though there was a decent portion of average cars. Were Jaeyoon’s fans all rich beyond belief? Sanghyuk was under the impression that most of them were just teenage girls and geeks. Was he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was about to look away from the cars when his eyes caught sight of a light blue car, peeking out from the crowd. This car, clearly a 2018 Maserati, caught Sanghyuk’s eyes more than the rest. Sure, she was a 2018 model, and not anywhere as expensive as the newer brands like the Porsche and Lexus. But she was still a Maserati and absolutely beautiful. Sanghyuk figured if he would have hotwired and stole any car in this entire garage, it would be the baby blue 2018 Maserati. To say Sanghyuk wanted her was an understatement. Fuck Jaeyoon’s Bentley Continental GT, he wanted the Maserati. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Done drooling over cars?” Chanhee asked, waving his phone in the air for Sanghyuk to see as he made his way over to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you see this beauty?” Sanghyuk asked, gesturing to the Maserati as Chanhee continued walking, barely sparing a glance at it. “I want her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just steal a car like that without being caught,” Chanhee told him with a laugh, walking ahead of him as Sanghyuk tried to get him to look back at the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s blue. She even matches my horrible shoes and jeans. Chanhee, I think we were meant to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car was lost from Sanghyuk’s mind as soon as they left the parking garage. Standing in front of him was an entire event dedicated to Jaeyoon. And it was disgusting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People stood around a huge park, stands set up in every direction to advertise products they </span>
  <em>
    <span>swore</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon used. Some people advocated for theories on who Dawon was, and others talked about Anonymous. People sold pictures of Jaeyoon, Jaeyoon themed merch, and artwork of him. It was a whole event for fanatics. And Sanghyuk was about to literally walk into it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee I can’t even think straight right now this is so disgusting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee snorted, patting him less than comfortingly on the shoulder. At least it was an attempt. “Just try and talk to people. Everyone here is a fan of Jaeyoon and should be more than happy to talk about their theories. Just hear what’s out there. Some of these people have been focusing on Anonymous a lot longer than we have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And act gay! It’s more approachable!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not to everyone!” Sanghyuk pointed out, huffing at Chanhee before making his way regrettably into the crowd of people. He hated this so much. Why was he doing this? Why was he standing in a crowd of people that all adored Jaeyoon when he was probably the one person they hated more than anyone else in the world?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But fine. He was here to get information. This was all for Inseong, right? So he would suck it up. With Chanhee travelling off in the other direction, Sanghyuk took a deep breath in, plastering a smile on his face. If Inseong could act so happy around Jaeyoon, Sanghyuk would try to act just as happy around a crowd of his fans. He held his shoulders up high and added a bit of a skip to his step as he moved forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me sir!” someone called to him. Sanghyuk made the mistake of turning to look in their direction, but he kept his smile up anyways. He bounced up to them, wondering </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what he was supposed to do to appear more ‘gay.’ Was there a certain way he was supposed to portray it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay. Stereotypical and factually inaccurate ‘gay speech’ involved dragged vowels, right? He could start with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heeeey,” Sanghyuk greeted, smiling as he looked up to the stand the guy was standing at. He was disgusted with himself. He really could not do this for much longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever wanted to smell like Lee Jaeyoon? I promise you this fragrance is what he wears, and it’s been proven by several reports!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, actually, no. The guy was selling Bleu de Chanel, a fragrance that Taeyang used back in 2018. Since he spent time around Jaeyoon around then, maybe people just assumed that was Jaeyoon’s fragrance. But it wasn’t. Jaeyoon used Blanche Byredo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, but no thanks!” Sanghyuk attempted, pushing himself away from the table. He hated this. This was such a bad idea. How was acting gay going to make him any more approachable? He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> gay! If anything, he was just acting awkward and even less approachable. Sanghyuk looked around at the tables surrounding him. He had to keep going, though, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next table he wandered up to was surrounded by a crowd of girls. Sanghyuk approached out of interest, not even listening to the girl behind the table explain as he leaned forward. His eyes went wide as he saw pictures of Inseong from the cafe covering the table. Sanghyuk was in the background of several of them. That was…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, are you an Inseong fan too?” a girl next to him asked, turning to him. What the fuck was he supposed to say? Did they recognize him? God, why the fuck was he here?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a little bit,” he decided on, wincing a bit with a smile as he lifted his fingers to make a gesture. The girl next to him laughed and nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t we all? I mean, Inseong is so sweet to him, and so beautiful too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I know right,” Sanghyuk agreed with a smile just to make the girl happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl turned to face him suddenly, and out of fear Sanghyuk began to panic that she recognized him. “Do you think it’s crazy if I buy one?” she asked instead, turning back to the table. “I mean they’re cheap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was about to suggest she go to the cafe and take one with him there, but that would mean she would run into him again, and suddenly that was the last thing he was going to suggest to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk leaned a bit forward to look over the pictures scattered across the table. One particular one from the cafe caught his eyes. The familiarity of the picture brought a smile to his face. The picture was a close up of Inseong laughing behind the counter, his smile spread completely across his face and his eyes crinkling from happiness. Sanghyuk remembered that exact moment being after he made a terribly bad pun that half of the cafe had heard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tapped the girl on the shoulder, pointing to the picture. “You should get that one. He looks really happy in it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl smiled as she saw the picture he was pointing to. “That’s a cute one,” she agreed, looking briefly to him to give him a smile. “Excuse me, miss, can I get this one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled one more time before straying from the table, but it wasn’t seconds later that he felt a small tug at his sleeve. He turned around with a pleasantly surprised smile to see the same girl walking by his side again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, hi,” she greeted shyly. “Do you mind if I walk around with you? I don’t even know where my friends went.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged with a gentle smile. “Sure, why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl smiled. “Thanks! You have great taste, by the way. This picture is stunning,” she told him, showing him the picture again before placing it carefully in a pocket of her purse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged again. “People are always prettier when they smile like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re right. That’s why I like Inseong so much. He makes Jaeyoon smile like that a lot recently.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried to keep his smile on his face, but it suddenly felt like his smile was the heaviest weight he ever had to bear. “You think so?” he asked quietly, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Sanghyuk had been paying so much more attention to Inseong than Jaeyoon lately. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Had</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon been smiling more? Or was it fake? He couldn’t even tell what was real and what was an act anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are you here for Inseong, too? Or Jaeyoon?” the girl asked, looking off to a stand to their right with mild interest before passing it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m actually interested in Anonymous,” Sanghyuk admitted, figuring it couldn’t hurt in case she had any theories. “Well, lately, anyways,” he continued. “I thought it’d be cool to hear people’s theories about it in person instead of just online.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s cool!” The girl told him with a smile, considering the idea. “I never had many theories about Anonymous, but my friend thinks it’s Kim Youngkyun, one of the CEOs that supports him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk almost lost his cool for a second, but he reminded himself that this girl had no idea who he was. He composed himself. “Youngkyun? Why that guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl shrugged. “He’s powerful, rich, and has access to Jaeyoon all the time. Makes sense, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged with her. He had to admit, it did make sense. It made more sense than anyone else being Anonymous. Too bad it was ridiculous. “I mean, maybe, but didn’t Anonymous start supporting him before Xang?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl’s mouth dropped open in slight realization. She shut it, facing Sanghyuk. “Like I said, it’s my friend’s theory, not mine.” Sanghyuk nodded with a smile, trying not to laugh out of amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me lady and gentleman! Would you be interested in this face mask? Jaeyoon uses them to keep his skin looking beautiful and healthy every day!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl’s interest piqued as she leaned towards the table in interest. Who the hell did these people think they were? Jaeyoon would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> use Clarins Hydraquench face mask. That brand had some terrible reviews on it and was known for breakouts. He used Aussie Myer face masks since he was sensitive to smell and it was fragrance-free. That was a no brainer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did you find that out?” Sanghyuk asked, leaning a bit forward with the girl to get a better look at the masks. It was a scam. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guy behind the counter seemed to lose his composure for a second. “We- well it’s all over-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is sensitive to smell. Remember the incident when Dawon broke about ten different perfume bottles at his meeting and almost knocked him unconscious with the first two? I don’t think it’d make sense for him to use this mask,” Sanghyuk ranted, talking completely out of his ass. Of course, that did happen. Sanghyuk was proud of that one too, because it was hilarious. But he knew what facemask Jaeyoon used because he had broken into his house several times before without telling him. This was just a lie because he couldn’t exactly say that. But also, he wasn’t about to just let this girl be scammed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl nodded, tapping Sanghyuk’s shoulder to encourage him to keep moving. “That’s smart,” she whispered to him, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help but smile proudly to himself as they walked away. “I can’t believe I didn’t even think about that. You must seriously be a huge fan of him,” the girl commented, returning to an even pace at his side as they walked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Sanghyuk said instead of sticking his tongue out to imitate vomiting. “I’m just interested in it all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“More so Jaeyoon or Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t like that question. And personally, he didn’t want to answer that question. If he said Dawon he’d be looked at weird but if he said Jaeyoon he might puke halfway through his name because it was such a disgusting lie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Personally, I’m interested in Dawon, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked, turning to look at the girl. “You… are?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl nodded. “A lot of people are. I mean, there’s obviously a story we don’t know between the two of them, and no matter how many interviews Jaeyoon goes to, it’s obvious he’s hiding something. But that’s a thing between them. I’m just interested to hear his side.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried not to smile hearing the girl’s words, but it was hard to stop himself. “Yeah, I’m interested in his side of the story, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk walked around with the girl for a little while longer before she finally spotted her friends. She introduced Sanghyuk to them, and all of the girls were more than happy to meet him. He guessed this was the most approachable he had ever appeared in his life, so it made sense that for once people were smiling at his greeting and chatting avidly with him for once. The girl’s name was Iseul, and Sanghyuk found himself wishing to see her doing well in the future. He was surprised to have this hope for a fan of Jaeyoon, and was even more surprised to find himself thinking that he hadn’t had a horrible time at the fair. Though he had found little to nothing useful, it was nice to hear such nice things from someone he thought he would despise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk parted ways with Iseul and her group a few moments later, quickly finding Chanhee in the crowd. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you don’t look nearly as miserable as I thought you’d be,” Chanhee commented as soon as he laid eyes on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have a terrible time?” Sanghyuk asked with a huff in place of a laugh, gesturing with his chin for Chanhee to follow him back towards the garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shrugged. “I just figured you would. So what theories did you get?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled his lips into a thin line. “About that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you serious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got distracted!” Sanghyuk defended, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I call this a learning experience!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee scoffed with a smile. “Yeah? And what did you learn? Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That people are dumb. Really, who would believe Jaeyoon uses Bleu de Chanel perfume or Clarins Hydraquench facemasks?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee rolled his eyes at him. “You sound like a bigger fan than every person at this event combined!” Chanhee pointed out with a laugh. Sanghyuk hated that, and he could feel the slight embarrassment from it crawling up his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a fan, I just </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> him,” Sanghyuk defended, keeping pace with Chanhee as they walked. “I have an unfair advantage over all of them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you didn’t get </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> theories?!” Chanhee asked, exasperated as they continued to walk deeper into the garage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, a girl I met told me her friends thought Anonymous was Youngkyun. And hear me out, because I think this theory could really be-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee didn’t let him finish, cutting him off by laughing and coughing all at the same time, having to lean over to control the hysterics. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious! I think they’re onto something!” Sanghyuk scolded him sarcastically, swatting at him. As Chanhee struggled to breathe correctly again, Sanghyuk looked up, eyeing the blue Maserati from the corner of his eye. “Chanhee I think we should steal that Maserati.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk! We’re not stealing it!” Chanhee scolded him, coughing one last time before standing up straight and swatting his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For my pain and suffering! Chanhee I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> her,” he whined, grabbing onto the collar of Chanhee’s shirt as he begged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even drive!” Chanhee pointed out, swatting him away from him. “You can continue to want her as much as you want as we get in our </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> car and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s voice cut off suddenly, leaving a thick silence between the two of them. Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Chanhee mumbled, looking back towards the entrance of the parking garage. Sanghyuk obeyed, but he couldn’t hear anything. “Do you hear that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“.... no?” Sanghyuk replied, raising both eyebrows this time as he waited for an explanation. Was he supposed to be hearing something? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me neither,” Chanhee mumbled, furrowing his brows and looking back out towards the entrance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m lost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk shut up. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>silent.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk obeyed, closing his mouth as he listened. He waited for the sounds of people chatting and vendors doing their jobs to appear quietly among the sound of them breathing. But the more Sanghyuk waited, the more he began to have a bad feeling settling in his gut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked back to Chanhee for only a moment before the both of them began moving back the way they came. Their footsteps were the only sounds echoing in the garage, and as they approached the entrance faster and faster, Sanghyuk began to feel his worry sinking in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they reached the point outside of the garage where they could see the field of stands, Sanghyuk gasped. He fell back on his ass, hands flinging up to cover his nose and mouth immediately as he began pushing himself back. He grabbed onto Chanhee’s wrist before the boy could pass him, pulling him back harshly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gas,” he yelled, pulling himself up and pushing Chanhee farther back. The field was filled with a crowd of still bodies now, lying on the ground in silence. Sprayed with black paint in the grass just a bit away was Dawon’s symbol, but that wasn’t really the important part right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GAS?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, we need to- uhhh-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“SANGHYUK!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to get rid of the source… thing,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his thoughts processing lazily in his head as he pulled Chanhee back with him, sprinting towards the car. His lungs were burning in his chest as he sprinted ahead of Chanhee, not even bothering to slow to a jog when he approached the car. He just grabbed onto the frame to pull himself to a stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you even know what you’re doing?!” Chanhee yelled at him, pulling his keys out of his pocket and unlocking the trunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk threw it open, pushing the bag on top aside to open the floor of the trunk, digging quickly and pushing everything else aside before pulling out an old gas mask. He passed it to Chanhee who barely held onto it, digging even deeper for the second one he knew he still had in there somewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally pulled it out he wasted no time pulling it around his head, securing the sides of the mask around his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?! What are we doing?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s halothane,” Sanghyuk explained, his voice somewhat muffled by the mask. He opened the air chamber, clearing the air and breathing in deeply. “If it’s halothane then they won’t be seriously hurt, just unconscious. But if it’s chlorine or ammonia their eyes and lungs could start to burn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to drag dozens of people out of there?!” Chanhee asked, eyes going wide. Sanghyuk slammed the trunk of the car shut, grabbing Chanhee’s mask from his hands and pulling it over his head for him. He fit the mask over his face as Chanhee stood, still waiting for an answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We just need to get rid of the source,” Sanghyuk whispered, actually having no idea what he was doing or what his plan was. He was panicking, that’s all he knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we just </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Chanhee asked, leaning forward as Sanghyuk cleared the air in Chanhee’s mask for him. “Before we get caught here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t do anything,” Sanghyuk told him quietly, securing the traps of the mask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WE HAVE GAS MASKS WITH US!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“THEN WE’LL LEAVE AFTER GETTING RID OF THE SOURCE!” Sanghyuk yelled back, patting Chanhee on the shoulder with a shaky hand before stepping away, walking back towards the field. Within seconds he was sprinting, Chanhee following quickly behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t pause before running into the field this time, taking a deep breath of fresh air and hoping their masks weren’t broken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are we even looking for?!” Chanhee yelled to him, following him down into the field. Sanghyuk moved quickly, jumping over a body in front of him with absolutely no care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything that could be secreting gas! It wasn’t here before we left!” Sanghyuk yelled back, stepping over another person as he made his way further into the event. “Hurry! We only have so long before authorities show up and find us here!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we should just leave!” Chanhee screamed across at him with a panicked voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Find the source first!” Sanghyuk screamed back, stepping over another clump of bodies, searching the ground for anything that could be secreting halothane. In all honesty, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t even know what he was looking for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved to step over another body, but the familiar outfit made him stop. Before he could stop himself, Sanghyuk was leaning down to the ground, tipping Iseul over and pulling her eyelids open to check her eyes. They weren’t red or burning, thank god. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee!” Sanghyuk called out, his voice strained. “Please tell me you found something!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t know why he was doing it. Maybe it was because she never called him a villain, or because she had been so kind to him. But Sanghyuk slipped his arms under her back and legs, lifting her up carefully and pulling her away from the crowd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got it!” Chanhee called back, holding his arm up with a hand sized capsule in it as he moved towards Sanghyuk. “What do I do with it now?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk leaned down, lowering Iseul to the ground before moving quickly over to Chanhee, pulling the capsule from his hands. “I need tape.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Chanhee told him, pulling a small roll from his pockets. “You’re lucky I grabbed it from the trunk because I’m not stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My hero,” Sanghyuk commented sarcastically, turning the capsule around in his hands before ripping off a piece of tape, placing it over the hole the halothane was leaking from. He added another piece of tape over that one, and he kept taping up parts of the capsule until he was absolutely sure no more gas was leaking from it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay now what?!” Chanhee asked, staring down at the taped up capsule with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh… uh,” Sanghyuk stuttered, looking down at the capsule in his hands. “We leave it here for authorities to find I guess?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With tape all over it?! Our fingerprints are all over that shit!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, then we take it with us and dump it off a bridge!” Sanghyuk decided quickly, shoving it back in Chanhee’s hands before leaning down to grab Iseul.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, who the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>is that?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her name is Iseul and she was nice to me and I feel bad leaving her here!” Sanghyuk admitted, picking her up in his arms and carrying her away from the general crowd of people. He carried her all the way over to the side of the parking garage, setting her down gently away from the halothane polluted area. “Sorry, Iseul. I’m really sorry. I didn’t even do it, but you’ll think I did. And I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk mumbled, backing away from her with no extra glances, gesturing for Chanhee to hurry with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his lungs burning from the panic and adrenaline while Chanhee ran along behind him, their footsteps echoing like loud bangs all around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This was stupid this was so so </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> stupid,” Chanhee ranted as they ran, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help but agree as they ran past the rows of fancy cars, abandoned in an empty garage with their owners all unconscious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it was stupid but-” Sanghyuk felt like his heart began beating in slow motion, his feet slowing his body to a pause as his eyes froze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk we’re not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear Chanhee breathing heavily behind him through the gas mask, but Sanghyuk couldn’t pull himself free from the trance he fell into, his body frozen as his eyes stared down at the empty parking spot. The blue Maserati was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck cares?!” Chanhee yelled, panicking as he ran back over to grab Sanghyuk’s wrist. Sanghyuk pulled it free with wide eyes, looking up to Chanhee with panic filling his entire body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee the car was here when we got our masks! Everyone has been unconscious! How is the car gone?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- what?! Wait, wait what?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The blue Maserati! It’s gone! It’s not here!” Sanghyuk yelled, gesturing to the empty spot. “Chanhee it was right here!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee froze as he stared down at the spot, slowly listing his eyes to flicker between the spot and Sanghyuk, all words lost on his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee how is it gone?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t know,” Chanhee confessed quietly, staring down at the spot with wide eyes. “I- are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was right here! I know it was!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well it couldn’t have just </span>
  <em>
    <span>disappeared</span>
  </em>
  <span>… it- I mean…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked with wide eyes at Chanhee as Chanhee returned the same panicked expression to him. “Chanhee,” Sanghyuk mumbled, looking back down to the empty spot. “I… I think…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was Anonymous’s car,” Chanhee finished for him, sending a wave of shivers across Sanghyuk’s body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> that was Anonymous’s car!” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Pink Geranium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Youngkyun laid back in his bed, not really thinking much of anything. It was boring, to be honest, he had seemed to run out of things to think of. He was too stressed to read the books the hospital staff and Taeyang had brought for him, but when they knocked on the door he would pick one up and pretend to be immersed in them anyways. But in reality he wasn’t immersed in anything but his own thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was kind of numbing, honestly. While he was recovering, he had to stay in his hospital bed. Taeyang visited several times a day, and spent more nights here with him than he did at their own home, but he still had to work. Youngkyun wanted to work from the hospital, but Taeyang didn’t let him. So most of the time, when Taeyang wasn’t here, Youngkyun was left to just think about the same exact things over and over and over again until every thought he had was nothing but recycled garbage. So, in a sense, it was numbing. It numbed all his stressful thoughts to nothing but a routine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips, thumb sliding over the stem of the flower which he held delicately in his hand. It had been left on his bedside table while he slept, and whoever had left it hadn’t been permitted to visit him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang had walked in just a minute after Youngkyun woke up to find the flower, and in a panic Youngkyun had shoved it under the blankets to hide it from him. After his husband had left, it had taken him over half an hour to find the flower online. It was called a pink geranium. It was just one single flower that had been left for him, but Youngkyun felt that the flower held an incredible significance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In flower language, it meant “stupidity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun knew who the flower was from without a doubt. After all, the only person who left single flowers for those who could be considered unnecessary victims was Dawon. But his accident hadn’t been caused by Dawon. So it wasn’t hard to narrow down the choices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Taeyang didn’t know it wasn’t Dawon. And Youngkyun couldn’t explain it. So that’s why he hid the flower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun hadn’t just hid the flower, though. He had kept it with him for the past two days, holding it in his hand and running his thumb over the dried stem. The flower was wilting now, but Youngkyun kind of, in a sick way, wanted to hold it while it shriveled up and died. He couldn’t get rid of it. Nurses knew more than anyone who left flowers like this for patients in accidents related to Dawon, and he didn’t want gossip traveling throughout the hospital. Because it wasn’t Dawon. Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> do it. He didn’t trust them not to spread the word to Taeyang, or to anyone else who visited. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t just put it in the trash. It would be so easily found there. He refused to give it to Taeyang to dispose of because, after all, the whole point of getting rid of it was so Taeyang didn’t see it. If he asked Chanhee to get rid of it the boy would no doubt tell Sanghyuk, and Youngkyun thought it was maybe Sanghyuk who he wanted to know least of all. Seeing the flower would upset him, because it wasn’t him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun even considered asking Jaeyoon to get rid of it when he visited him. That idea left his head as soon as it had come. Youngkyun didn’t trust Jaeyoon, and as much as Youngkyun wished so dearly to still be able to consider him a friend, Youngkyun felt himself becoming more and more sour towards the man. He had no idea what Jaeyoon knew and didn’t know, and he didn’t trust him with anything when he knew how often Jaeyoon lied. He hid the flower from Jaeyoon, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Youngkyun supposed that was how he ended up finally picking up his phone, dialing the number he had been meaning to call for a while now anyways. This was, shockingly, maybe the one person would wouldn’t say anything about the flower. Not when he had so many secrets of his own to keep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Youngkyun asked into the phone after hearing the call click in. His thumb rubbed over the stem of the flower underneath the covers again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun? Hi, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit his lip as he heard the boy’s voice reply. It sounded a bit nasally. Was he sick? Or had he just been crying?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay. Do you want to come visit today if you’re free? I’m a bit bored right now,” Youngkyun lied with a small laugh, leaning back into the cushions of the bed as he glided his thumb over the flower stem again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The line went quiet for a second, as if he was debating whether or not to actually come. “Do you really just want me to come because you’re bored?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed. “Inseong… please just come visit me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard the boy sigh on the other end of the call. “Okay. I’m on my way.” He sounded tired and worn out, and Youngkyun couldn’t help but picture his eyes sunken in from a lack of sleep, his skin a bit more paled from a lack of proper eating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you-” Youngkyun began, but Inseong had already hung up. That was okay, because Inseong was coming. Youngkyun rubbed his thumb over the stem of the flower again, sinking down in his bed as he dropped the phone on the mattress. Now all he had to do was wait. With nothing to do. Nothing to think about. Just his numbing thoughts surrounding him, numbing him even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it better to feel numb, though? In all honesty, he cared so much about every lie he told, and every secret he kept, but now that he had nothing to do but to dwell on it, he felt like his care was slowly dwindling away. As much as he cared about Inseong being abused, he found himself caring less now more than ever that he wasn’t telling anyone else about it. He lied to everyone about the flower he received, and he barely gave a shit. He didn’t tell Taeyang the truth about the situation and what was going on with Anonymous and he barely batted an eye. So was he really just becoming numb to everything that was hurting him? Wasn’t that better? Or did that make him worse? Did feeling indifferent to every bad thing happening around him make him as bad as someone who caused those bad things? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s attention snapped up as the door to his hospital room opened, and he felt his lips carefully curling into a smile. He wasn’t sure why he was smiling. In all honesty, Inseong kind of looked like shit. Of course, he had used makeup to cover the dark circles under his eyes, just obvious by the fact that he didn’t have any. Didn’t they all have them at this point? They were all tired. But Inseong’s hair wasn’t as kept as it usually was. His fake smile was a bit lopsided on his face and his shirt wasn’t as neatly tucked into his jeans. It was just the little things that Youngkyun noticed that set his appearance off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Inseong,” Youngkyun greeted with that same smile, watching as the boy closed the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Youngkyun,” he greeted back quietly, making his way over towards Youngkyun’s bed. He looked like he tried to smile, but it just felt broken and out of place. “How are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I’m bored,” Youngkyun confessed lightheartedly, shrugging his shoulders. His thumb rubbed the stem of the flower again, twitching under the blanket. “Thanks for coming to see me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t want Sanghyuk or Chanhee to come visit you?” Inseong asked, pulling over a chair to the side of Youngkyun’s bag and setting himself down on it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged again. “They come and see me all the time. I haven’t seen you since…” since that day at the cafe. The day the two of them got into a screaming match about how Inseong chose to live his life. Youngkyun shrugged again. “It’s just been a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded, but he didn’t give Youngkyun a reassuring smile. It was almost like he couldn’t. In all honesty, he looked just as numb as Youngkyun felt lately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong how are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You told me you didn’t feel the need to keep up a face around me, right?” Youngkyun asked, interrupting him. He turned his head to face Inseong. “Inseong… seriously. I’m losing my mind in here just thinking about everything constantly. Can’t we just talk about things? Can’t we just talk like friends who know each other’s secrets?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t know all my secrets,” Inseong reminded him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you don’t know mine,” Youngkyun told him, absolutely sure he was too numb to care as he finally pulled the flower out from under the covers. Inseong’s eyes were immediately drawn to it, brows creasing in slight confusion as Youngkyun held it up to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Inseong asked quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s called a pink geranium,” Youngkyun explained, spinning it around slowly between his fingers, as if showing off every one of the flower’s angles to Inseong. “Where do you think I got it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong swallowed in his seat. “Did Dawon leave it for you?” he guessed easily. After all, it wasn’t really a difficult conclusion to come to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun tore his eyes away from the flower meeting Inseong’s gaze. “No,” he confessed, his lips turning up in an almost sadistic way. “But that’s what everyone else would think, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So who gave it to you, then?” Inseong asked, tilting his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged, passing him the flower. Inseong didn’t lift his hand to take it. “I know, in concept, who gave it to me,” Youngkyun confessed, gesturing for Inseong to take the flower. He nodded, reaching up and gently plucking the delicate flower from between his fingers. “But I don’t have a name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And let me guess, you didn’t tell Taeyang?” Inseong inquired, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t tell anyone,” Youngkyun corrected, folding his hands back on his stomach. “I don’t want anyone knowing I got that flower.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s not what everyone will think it is?” Inseong asked, sighing as he spun the flower around between his own fingers, staring down at it like the spinning motion was completely captivating him. “It’s almost insulting, though, to think anyone would believe Dawon left a flower for you that meant ‘stupidity.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what the flower means?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong bit his lip, but he never answered. He just continued spinning the flower between his fingers. They both just kind of stared at it for a while, neither of them really having any idea what to do with it next. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to get rid of it for you?” Inseong finally asked, his voice nothing above a small whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please,” Youngkyun answered with no hesitation. That was exactly what he wanted. “Can you not tell anybody about it, too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never planned to,” Inseong told him, lips lifting up in a sad attempt at a smile for only a second before dropping. He stared down at the flower again. “Youngkyun. Can I burn it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted to ask why Inseong would want to burn the flower, but deep down in his chest, he felt like he already knew. He couldn’t think of a coherent answer in his head, but his gut told him he understood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can do whatever the fuck you want to it,” Youngkyun told him, adjusting himself in his bed. “Just make sure nobody else ever finds it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded at his words, pulling the flower away from his eyes and stuffing it in the pocket of his jacket. He seemed to compose himself after that, like he had to remind himself not to say or do too much. Youngkyun could only imagine how exhausting that was. But in that moment, he understood, at least a little, what Inseong was going through. He understood the lying and deception. He understood the secrets. He understood how numbing it was. But more than anything, he understood wanting so badly for it all to end. Inseong wanted it to end, too, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips. “After this is all over will you still visit Taeyang and I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong did nothing but blink at his question at first, folding his hands together as he thought it over. “After what is over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything,” Youngkyun clarified, though it wasn’t really much of a clarification. “You think about it too, right? You think about what life would really be like if everything was okay? You think about where you would be if Jaeyoon was never part of your life? I bet you do.” Inseong licked his lips, deep in thought. But he didn’t answer. “I think about things like that a lot,” Youngkyun confessed, staring up at the ceiling above him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a lot to hide, too, don’t you?” Inseong finally asked, turning to face Youngkyun with a gentle smile, one that was there for no other reason than to reassure that Inseong felt the same way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun exhaled, and within that he found himself smiling. “Yeah, I do,” he admitted with a small nod. “And I like to imagine what life would be like if I didn’t have anything to hide, y’know? I picture Taeyang and I living happily where I don’t have to keep things from him. No secrets. And- and I picture you and Sanghyuk working at the cafe together as best friends, smiling every single day because there’s nothing else to worry about. I think about Chanhee going to school. And the funny thing is that I don’t picture Jaeyoon there at all. I picture my whole family happy because he isn’t there. Nobody is stressed anymore, and everything is okay.” Youngkyun didn’t really know why he was confessing all of that to Inseong, but in all honesty he knew Inseong wouldn’t tell anyone. Inseong was probably the only person he could talk to right now that would understand how he felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded. “I picture something like that, too,” he confessed quietly. “I’m so tired of hiding everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why keep hiding it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong laughed at Youngkyun’s words. He actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Youngkyun turned to look over at him with furrowed brows, only to see Inseong smiling out of the pain of every secret he had to keep. “Youngkyun, can I ask you something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course,” Youngkyun told him with a nod. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You act like I could just stop keeping all the secrets I keep,” Inseong pointed out, still not dropping the smile from his face. It was sick and twisted, and it portrayed all the pain he felt as nothing more than a sick joke. “You say I should just let it all out like it’s so easy. But Youngkyun… if I told you to just confess to the world who Dawon was… you wouldn’t, would you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s eyes went wide as Inseong’s words registered in his head. Panic began to cloud his mind as he sat up straight in his bed, Inseong’s smile just taunting him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know who he is?” Youngkyun asked in a quiet voice that shook with every word he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head, a smile still on his face. “No. But I know you do,” Inseong told him, shrugging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You swear you don’t know who he is?” Youngkyun asked, leaning a bit closer. Inseong didn’t know, right? He couldn’t possibly know. Sanghyuk was too close to him. But then again… didn’t Sanghyuk mention something about Inseong keeping him away from Jaeyoon? What if-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really don’t,” Inseong confirmed, pulling his lips into a thin line as he leaned back in his chair. “But I was right. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> know who Dawon is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong… you can’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell anyone. I know,” Inseong interrupted him with an understanding nod. “But Youngkyun, do you get it now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted to laugh at Inseong’s point. Relief flowed through his veins and tempted to have him break out into a laughing fit. That was what Inseong was trying to tell him, right? Just like Youngkyun couldn’t escape knowing Dawon’s identity, Inseong couldn’t escape whatever was tying him to Jaeyoon. Inseong was in a similar situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was that how Inseong knew the flower wasn’t from Dawon? Did Inseong know because he was a bit too attached to the situation? Exactly how was he attached, though? What was keeping him there against his will? Youngkyun wanted to pry. He wanted to scream at Inseong to tell him what was more or less ripping him to pieces because he didn’t already know. But Inseong was right. Youngkyun would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> confess who Dawon was. So he had to understand that Inseong wouldn’t confess what he knew either. That was Inseong’s point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong wasn’t happy with his life right now, but with the situation it seemed this was honestly the best he could have. Youngkyun was in the same boat. So as much as he wanted to pry in that sense, he didn’t. Because he understood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay after Jaeyoon decided to work with you at the cafe for a day?” Youngkyun asked instead, changing the subject with a small smile on his lips. Inseong, of course, didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to, but Youngkyun already knew Inseong wasn’t happy with their relationship. This wasn’t revealing anything. This was just ranting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled by the side of the bed, leaning closer as he rested his arms on his knees. “God, it was terrible,” Inseong confessed, breathing out a small laugh like this was the first time he felt free enough to just so openly talk about it. “I didn’t even want him there, he just kind of decided he would stay for the day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Sanghyuk?” Youngkyun asked, furrowing his brows as if he wasn’t completely aware Inseong told him not to come in for the day. He had heard the whole story already, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn’t giving Inseong any clues that Sanghyuk ranted to him about that stuff, especially when Inseong was apparently already well aware that Youngkyun knew who Dawon was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god I felt so bad when I asked him not to come in. But honestly, I don’t want him and Jaeyoon ever meeting. Sanghyuk makes me happy and I don’t want Jaeyoon ruining him. But suffering for </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> day isn’t so terrible in the end I guess. It’s just exhausting having to pretend I’m in love with him for hours and hours on end in front of people and cameras.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his lips lifting up slightly at Inseong’s confession. He wasn’t in love with Jaeyoon. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> all an act. Inseong had just said it to his face. To be honest, Youngkyun felt a bit proud that Inseong was able to be so comfortable around him at this point, knowing Youngkyun wouldn’t get involved any further. Inseong felt comfortable enough to confess that he wasn’t in love with Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully he’ll never insist on coming to work with you again, then,” Youngkyun relied, tilting his head with a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong gave him a simple smile back. “Yeah, I hope so too. I don’t want him associated with our cafe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun couldn’t help the smirk that spread across his face. “‘Our’ cafe? You mean between you and Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s ears lit up in a slight shade of red at the comment. His hand curled around to rub nervously at his neck. “I mean… Sanghyuk is the only one who works with me there now. It’s been a few months, too. So I guess I kind of consider it </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> cafe. I don’t really want anyone else working there with us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled, looking up to Inseong with a glow he was sure was just radiating from his face. “Hearing that makes me happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it does. Hyuk is your family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m annoyed,” Youngkyun confessed in a huff with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho laughed from the other end of the video call, a smile consuming his face as he brought a different stack of papers into his lap. “How do you think I feel? Ah, Kyun I think this was a bad idea,” the boy confessed, dropping his hands to his lap with the papers and facing the computer camera, defeated. “I can barely focus.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This was your idea!” Youngkyun pointed out, tsking at him before opening a separate tab on his computer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m curious now! I can’t stop thinking of all these bank accounts. You said they were related to Anonymous and that you think Anonymous blew up the fucking road. Fine. But now I’m curious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled as he opened a new file on his laptop. “Which accounts did you already check? I can’t even remember how long we’ve been at this for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho hummed on the other end of the chat, shifting around and presumably looking for a sticky note he probably lost somewhere in the jumble of blankets on his hospital bed. “I did both of the ones from England, the one from France, and the B616 one,” Juho told him. Youngkyun nodded as he spoke, looking over to the sticky note on the side of his computer, uncapping a pen with his teeth and making small little marks next to them. “The foreign ones are </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> legit. But the B616 account is closed. All the internal files are deleted and it has no associations, so I think it was used to hold donation funds before it was scraped.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How the fuck do you work that fast?” Youngkyun mumbled, hearing Juho laugh from the speakers. “I only finished looking into B773. Which, by the way, is the same as B616. It’s a closed donation fund account that Anonymous used.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m faster than you because I look into things like this all the time,” Juho pointed out, causing Youngkyun to roll his eyes as he dragged his files on B773 to a folder to store them on his hard drive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a fucking concussion and you’re still working faster than me,” Youngkyun grumbled, causing Juho to laugh again. Youngkyun couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his laugh, nodding in a sort of defeated way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you holding up? I haven’t been up to your room to see you, yet,” Juho commented, sounding like he was pushing the papers sitting on his bed aside to focus on Youngkyun. Youngkyun decided to do the same, clearing the file tab on his computer and reopening the online chat to see Juho’s beautiful smiling face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know to be honest,” Youngkyun confessed, repositioning the computer on his lap as he laid back. “I’d say it’s been nice to take a break from things, but in all honesty I have been so alone with my thoughts this past week that I think it might have just fucked me up more,” he admitted with a laugh, causing Juho to laugh slightly with him, too. Humor made despair easier to handle, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does Taeyang know you’re still looking into Anonymous?” Juho asked, reaching over to his side table to grab his glass of water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun snorted. “Oh absolutely not. I was strictly told that I’m no longer involved in looking into Anonymous while in recovery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So much for that,” Juho told him with a laugh, setting down his glass of water. “But what’s next? I mean, that’s all seven accounts, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded as he sighed. “Yup, Tae and I went through them all. And he wrote down all the ones we needed to go through. I really felt like it was more than seven, I mean I guess that was just me hoping we had more to work with, y'know? But now that we’re almost through them all I seriously don’t know where to look next. I mean, yeah, some of these were stripped accounts, but that doesn’t tell me </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe if Anonymous used them first and then-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked up from the computer at the sound of a door opening, eyes going wide as he saw Sanghyuk’s head peek in through the crack. He looked down to his computer quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for helping me work out those documents for Taeyang. I’ll get them to him later tonight,” Youngkyun said, grinding his teeth together as he smiled at the camera. Juho cocked an eyebrow at him, but Youngkyun didn’t have a chance to explain before ending the call, closing his computer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow. We turn away from one second and you’re already working when you’re supposed to be resting,” Sanghyuk scolded him, letting himself into the room. Chanhee followed in behind him, closing the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun put a fake smile on his face. “It was just one thing I was doing to help Taeyang,” Youngkyun lied. He didn’t even blink as he lied, ranting off the first believable thing that came to mind without even hesitating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And does Taeyang </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Chanhee asked, raising both eyebrows at him as he came over to the side of Taeyang’s bed, settling down in the chair Inseong had been sitting in earlier that morning. Sanghyuk, of course, didn’t choose a place to sit. His specialty was pacing around the room to the point where it pissed off everyone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s only a small thing, so don’t rat me out,” Youngkyun told the two of them, knowing if either of them </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> rat him out he would have absolutely nothing to show for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to rest,” Chanhee scolded him quickly, reaching over and flicking him on the forehead. Youngkyun flinched away and winced at the small burst of pain while Chanhee just sat back in the chair, satisfied with himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Message received,” he mumbled with a pout, rubbing his forehead. “Anyways, you didn’t call before coming. What’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We found something,” Sanghyuk announced prematurely, bouncing around to face Youngkyun with wide eyes. “Kyun we found something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun, out of habit from dealing with Sanghyuk for so many years, turned to look to Chanhee for confirmation, but he was thoroughly surprised to see the boy nod with a serious expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, found something on Inseong? Like, against Jaeyoon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Kyun, we found something on Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s words burned Youngkyun’s skin, or maybe that was just the run of adrenaline coursing through him, the need for information digging at every inch of his body. “You… you seriously found something on Anonymous?” Youngkyun asked, his lips dragging apart as he pushed himself up in his bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t quite sure when Anonymous had started to mean so much to him, but more than anything he wanted to reveal their identity. Anonymous was all he could think about lately. Anonymous consumed his thoughts and priorities. Hearing that they had found something on the subject felt like an unreal dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, again, you’re not looking into Anonymous. You have to promise us you won’t do anything with this. We’re just keeping you informed,” Chanhee interrupted, leaning against the edge of the bed to completely capture his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” Youngkyun told him, turning to face him. “I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lie burned on his tongue. In fact, it felt like he had just swallowed a mouth full of salty ocean water. But even when he felt so terribly about the lies that spilled from his lips, he turned back to Sanghyuk to hear the information, not even wincing as he lied to his best friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved forward, placing his hands on the edge of the bed with shaky fingers, kneeling down by the side. “Youngkyun we found Anonymous’s car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun blinked at Sanghyuk. “You… what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He drives a baby blue Maserati.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How the hell could you possibly know that?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, rolling his eyes. “We went to look into theories from fanatics on Anonymous, but Sanghyuk kept drooling over that Maserati. He kept talking about stealing it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hot</span>
  </em>
  <span> car, Kyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So then Anonymous came in and gassed everyone with Halothane-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard about that on the news this morning,” Youngkyun interrupted, looking between the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well that wasn’t me,” Sanghyuk stated straight away, furrowing his brows in slight annoyance at the fact that he even had to clarify that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I figured,” Youngkyun humored him, though he really never suspected it was Sanghyuk for even a second. Sanghyuk was sadistic when it came to playing Dawon, but Youngkyun couldn’t think of one reason he would have to use halothane on an entire crowd of innocent people. It made no sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone was unconscious,” Chanhee clarified, dragging Youngkyun’s attention back to him. “But when we got back into the parking garage, the Maserati was gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> there, Kyun,” Sanghyuk grumbled, shaking his head down at the ground. “I was so concerned thinking about the fact that there was something leaking gas everywhere that I totally didn’t even think about the fact that Anonymous had to be there. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be. And he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… did you get a license plate or something?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked between the two of them. “Please tell me you can find the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We tried all last night. I hacked into so many traffic cams but I lost the car. Anonymous knows how to drive to avoid cameras. There’s no license plate caught on camera, and all we know is the car brand and color.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a baby blue, 2018 Maserati. How hard can that be to find?!” Sanghyuk asked, looking between them with eyes that could have belonged to a hurt dog. “Kyun you don’t even understand. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A knock came from the door, and before the three of them could react Taeyang opened the door, entering with a smile. “Oh hey guys,” he greeted offhandedly, closing the door behind him. “When did you guys get here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been here for a while,” Chanhee lied easily, moving his hand to pat Youngkyun’s shoulder as he smiled towards Taeyang. It wasn’t a pat of comfort, though. It was to clue him in to lie. Because Taeyang couldn’t know about the car. Because it would raise questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would have brought food for everyone if I knew you guys were going to be here,” Taeyang admitted with a pout, placing his bag down on the table in the center of the hospital room. He smiled as he came over to the bed. “Move out of my way kids I want to kiss my husband.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s actually disgusting,” Sanghyuk commented, leaning back but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> moving so Taeyang could step over him. He did so easily, leaning over the bed and pressing his lips to Youngkyun’s sweetly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing today?” Taeyang asked, smiling down at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better I guess. I asked Inseong to come over and visit,” Youngkyun confessed, seeing no harm in it as Taeyang pulled away from him, moving back over to his bag where he previously mentioned he had food. Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow at him, and while Taeyang had his back turned, Youngkyun shook his head at him. “It was nice since I haven’t had a chance to meet up with him recently.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well no shit your bed bound,” Chanhee commented, and with no hesitation Youngkyun reached over, flicking him on the forehead. “Fuck! Taeyang! Control your husband!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t sass him,” Taeyang scolded instead. Youngkyun smiled as Chanhee sent Taeyang a dirty look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee flicked me first,” Youngkyun defended despite the fact that he clearly didn’t need to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leave my husband alone he’s wounded,” Taeyang scolded him again, leaving Chanhee gaping between the crowd of them as Taeyang carried a bowl of hospital approved food over to Youngkyun’s bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun eyed it eagerly, pushing himself up in bed and setting up the food tray over his lap. Taeyang smiled, placing the bowl down on the tray for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Youngkyun gushed with a happy smile, looking up to Taeyang with puffed cheeks. Taeyang smiled back at him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “How was your day at work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Boring without you,” Taeyang confessed with a pout.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You both are so unbelievably cringy I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> puke,” Sanghyuk commented as a threat as Taeyang leaned against the wall next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I ended up working a lot with Seokwoo today, though. He was worried about Juho.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I video chatted with Juho today,” Youngkyun confessed. Was he trying to tell more truths about his day so he felt less terrible about lying? He had absolutely no idea. “He’s doing really well, and he couldn’t stop smiling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys are in the same fucking building why did you videochat?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows as he looked to Youngkyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not allowed to leave my bed!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… that’s… okay that’s a fair argument.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang rolled his eyes with a laugh, placing his hand on Sanghyuk’s head and just pushing him to the side. Sanghyuk fell to the floor with an exaggerated ‘oof.’ Even Chanhee giggled at his brother’s antics. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two left shortly after with the excuse that Sanghyuk had to work in the morning, but it was bullshit because the cafe was closed tomorrow. Even Taeyang knew it was a lie, but the two just assumed the brothers were giving them some alone time, so they didn’t argue with it. Taeyang opted to spend the night at the hospital again, which Youngkyun didn’t mind even slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he began making up the couch, the lights already dimmed for the two of them to sleep, Youngkyun reached out for Taeyang, whining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His husband turned around with a smile on his face. “What? What do you want?” he asked cutely, humoring Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled cheesily at the way Taeyang replied, reaching out both hands for him and not saying anything to accompany the motion. Taeyang rolled his eyes, moving over to Youngkyun and holding his hands. Youngkyun smiled at the contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you have to sleep on the couch? I feel dejected,” Youngkyun told him with a pout, giving him the puppy eyes look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smile consumed Taeyang’s face so much so that he had to look away from a second to compose himself, returning with his best attempt at a stern look. “I got yelled at by the staff last time I slept in this bed with you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t we paying to use this bed right now?” Youngkyun asked, pouting. “I think if we’re paying for it then we can use it however we want!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They said it’ll be better for your recovery if-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck my recovery, I want to cuddle. Don’t deny a wounded person their cuddles. Get over here,” Youngkyun scolded him, scooting over in the bed to make room for him. It really wasn’t a bed meant for two people, but Youngkyun honestly didn’t give two shits. Taeyang bit his lip for a second, as if he was debating. It didn’t take more than three seconds for Taeyang to cave, though, climbing into bed next to Youngkyun and wrapping his arms around him carefully. He made sure to keep his arm closer to Youngkyun’s hip bone so it wouldn’t lay on his stomach area and create any unnecessary pressure there. “That’s better,” Youngkyun whispered, leaning his head against Taeyang’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang hummed in agreement, adjusting himself to the perfect cuddling position. “Hey Kyun,” he whispered, his eyes closed as he fit himself perfectly to Youngkyun’s side. Youngkyun didn’t really answer, but he hummed to let Taeyang know he was listening as he let his eyes fall shut. “I met with Inseong and Jaeyoon today. Inseong even mentioned coming to see you, and he looked happy because of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They were together?” Youngkyun asked quietly, barely processing Taeyang’s words as sleep began to slowly consume him. The nurses had given him drugs not long before, so he assumed this was the effect of them kicking in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Taeyang confirmed with a mumbled, nodding. “We went out to lunch together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, remembering what Sanghyuk had told him about the pictures from the cafe. They came across as a happy couple, and if it wasn’t for everything Youngkyun knew, he wouldn’t doubt how cute of a couple they made. “They look cute together don’t they? Happy?” Youngkyun asked with slurred words, pulling his lips into a thin line. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang nodded. “They did,” he confirmed, causing Youngkyun to sigh. “But when Jaeyoon went to go to the bathroom, Inseong kind of looked like he was deflating. He looked tired, to be honest. The whole time Jaeyoon was gone he seemed like he was just preparing himself to put on a smile again. And when Jaeyoon returned, he did. I thought it was a bit weird.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s eyes fluttered open. “You… you thought how he acted around Jaeyoon was weird?” he asked, as if that wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Taeyang had just said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I agree with your theory completely, yet,” Taeyang confessed, snuggling his head deeper into the crook of Youngkyun’s neck. “But it was weird. And I get what you mean about Inseong acting differently when he’s not with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted to tell Taeyang right then and there what Inseong had said to him. But bad thoughts kept plaguing his mind. Would Taeyang believe him? Would Taeyang think he was lying? Would he tell Jaeyoon? They would all be </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucked</span>
  </em>
  <span> if he told Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted so badly to be able to tell Taeyang everything, but he just couldn’t. He was feeling the effects of what Inseong had said now. Just like the older boy had said, even if he wanted to say something, he just couldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun snuggled into Taeyang’s side, wrapping his arms around him. Was this how Inseong felt with Sanghyuk lately? He talked about keeping him away from Jaeyoon so it wouldn’t be ruined. Was it because Inseong wanted to keep him close, just like Youngkyun wanted to keep Taeyang close to him now? Was Inseong just as afraid of losing Sanghyuk as Youngkyun was of losing Taeyang?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tae?” Youngkyun asked softly, his voice barely cracking above a whisper. “Can I tell you something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Taeyang mumbled, sleepiness overcoming him as much as it was dragging Youngkyun down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips, blinking at Taeyang on his side. “I’m scared.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Something to Break the Cycle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The second Sanghyuk arrived at work he knew something was wrong. He came in with a smile on his face, as usual. The cafe was like a safe zone for him. It was like calling base when you’re playing tag as a kid. So of course, he came in with a smile just like every other day. But what threw Sanghyuk off was the fact that Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> there, and Inseong was </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk put his stuff down on the counter before looking around, peeking into the closets and around the cafe just for a sign that Inseong had maybe come and left. But he hadn’t. His apron was still hung up on the hook protruding from the wall, the lights were still turned off, and the cafe was completely empty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled out his phone to text the boy, and he even typed out the whole message. But he never hit the send button. He felt shut down by the thought that Jaeyoon could be with him. What would happen if Sanghyuk texted him then? Would Jaeyoon come to meet him </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was already at the cafe? Would Jaeyoon get mad? Or… were they </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> just a couple with a few knots and kinks to work out? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had been actually putting some thought into it over the weekend while he was stuck at home. He shared every thought with Chanhee, of course, but his brother had offered him little to no ideas or solutions to his endless looped train of thoughts. He was sure he had repeated half of what he said so many times Chanhee eventually stopped listening just to let him rant his problems away. It didn’t work. Ranting just created more problems, which he currently had way too many of. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the problem was this: Sanghyuk had never actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon act hostile, or even rude, towards Inseong. Every bit of Sanghyuk’s opinion was based on Inseong’s reactions to everything. He had never </span>
  <em>
    <span>once</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought to look into Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were times, of course, that made it seem sketchy. There was that time when Sanghyuk had fought with him where Jaeyoon referred to Inseong as </span>
  <em>
    <span>his.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And there was the constant reminder that Jaeyoon had suspected Inseong of leaving his room door closed for a reason. But honestly, that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span> had been the one speaking rudely over the phone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span> had backed away from him in every instance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span> had run away from him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span> had called the situation worse than what Sanghyuk could imagine. What had Jaeyoon done to make Sanghyuk suspicious of the situation? The truth was: close to nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t want to call Inseong a liar; Inseong was suffering and clearly fucked up because of the situation. But honestly… there was a whole other half to everything that Sanghyuk hadn’t even bothered to begin looking into yet. After all, Jaeyoon knew Inseong didn’t like him right? God, the unknown bits that Sanghyuk didn’t know really were tearing him to pieces. Everything was terrible about this situation because he didn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. To him it seemed like he knew so much, but really that wasn’t the truth. Because after all, his thoughts just kept looping like a train on a circular track that never had a start or an end. And until Sanghyuk found something to break that cycle, his thoughts would just keep running in circles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, looking around the empty cafe. He should start running it, right? Even if Inseong didn’t show up until much later, he should at least start baking. Inseong did it on his own for weeks until he hired Sanghyuk, so Sanghyuk could do it, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved to grab a fresh tray from below the counter, but as he leaned down to pick it up, his phone pinged behind him. He placed the tray neatly on top of the counter, moving over to slide his phone into the palm of his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One text from Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No work today. Sorry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, licking his lips as he stared down at his phone. And without another thought beyond the continuous cycle of unknowns, he put the tray back in its place, walked outside, and locked the door behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, Sanghyuk had woken up already expecting not to go into work. Inseong had told him the week prior that the cafe would be closed because he was attending a charity event with Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled out of bed wide awake, but knowing well that his hair was sticking up in every direction from the complete lack of sleep he had gotten. The night had been spent just rolling around in his bed, switching sides constantly and annoying Chanhee to the point where he put his headphones in to ignore him. Sanghyuk had thrown a pillow at him for that. Chanhee had thrown his shoe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, get up,” Sanghyuk told him in a voice definitely too loud to appeal to the boy, pulling out his earbud and blowing in his ear as he walked out to the kitchen area. Chanhee groaned at him, but begrudgingly followed him out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> do I have to get up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smirked at him, chest filling with bubbles as he picked up his mask, which had for some reason just been out laying on the floor. He tossed it up in the air, flipping it and catching it again with ease. “You wanna play today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee blinked at him, eyeing the mask in his hands before looking back up at him, a bit more awake now than he was before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck yeah I wanna play. What’s the game?” Chanhee asked, lips slightly curving up in interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I call this one: testing Jaeyoon’s acting abilities.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is the biggest one you’ve done in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span> time,” Chanhee pointed out, bouncing with excitement as he shook the spray paint can in his hand. Sanghyuk could see the smile through the mask covering his nose and mouth, his eyes lighting up with adrenaline. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled back at him, adjusting the mask on his face before shaking his own can of black spray paint, pressing down on the top and making another streak of black. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it’s going overboard? Especially with everything else that’s going on?” Sanghyuk asked, moving his free hand up to hold his mask on, though it was clearly hooked around his ears. He sprayed another line, creating the bottom swipe of the circle surrounding the large D Chanhee was almost finished with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, maybe,” Chanhee confessed with a shrug. “But honestly you have to make a stand. Show this bitch who </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are. Empowerment, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, his smile fading slightly. “I guess.” He didn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> empowered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m done,” Chanhee told him, stepping to the side and smiling down proudly at their work. Sanghyuk finished his last line of black, taking just as many steps back as Chanhee had to admire the art in front of them. Seeing the symbol made him feel slightly sick, like it wasn’t even his to claim anymore. He didn’t voice this to Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In front of them laid a huge white sheet which the two boys had taken down from the rafters to paint all over. The staff wasn’t even at the event yet; what was already up had been put that way the night before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Help me string it up,” Sanghyuk told him, interrupting his own thoughts as he grabbed the top corner of the sheet. Chanhee grabbed the other, clipping the hooks around the metal rings at the top of the curtain and making sure it was evenly spaced. Perfect presentation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what Anonymous’s problem is?” Chanhee asked, moving away from the folded sheet towards the controls that would allow him to pull the sheet up. It was hidden behind another sheet. In the presentation, which of course was dedicated to their almighty hero Jaeyoon, the person in charge of the controls would drop the first sheet. Behind it was supposed to be some symbol of their charity work. Instead, Dawon’s symbol would be there. Sanghyuk made sure to donate a shit ton he stole from overpriced hotels before even starting the process as reparations for the image he was about to give this event. But, in hindsight, it created media face and publicity, so really the charity should be thanking him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s so many to choose from,” Sanghyuk pointed out, causing Chanhee to snort in his direction while pulling their freshly painted sheet up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His problem is presentation. I mean… blowing up one tiny street? Lighting one house on fire? Knocking everyone out at an event so there’s nobody there to see it? And-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>We</span>
  </em>
  <span> were there to see it,” Sanghyuk pointed out, taking a step back as the curtain locked into its final place. He turned around to face Chanhee, who still stood over by the controls. “Kyun’s house was burned and Kyun was in that accident. Almost everything Anonymous does is related to someone who knows my identity so… just remember that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying you think Anonymous knows?” Chanhee asked, leaning a bit towards him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t do anything but sigh. “I have no idea at this point,” he confessed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They waited all day for the event to start, never leaving the area that the event was being held. It honestly disgusted Sanghyuk. It was all rich families and sponsors gathering to cheer Jaeyoon on and donate to a cause he probably just picked out from a list to support. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please just make sure Taeyang is safe,” Youngkyun pleaded over the phone. “I swear to god if he gets hurt-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tae will be fine,” Sanghyuk assumed him over the phone, eyes intently watching the people begin to cluster from across the building. It was closed in, which worked even better for what Sanghyuk had planned. “I will make sure he’s fine. Jaeyoon will be fine. And Inseong will be fine. Nobody is getting hurt, I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just a scare?” Youngkyun asked, almost as if he seriously didn’t believe Sanghyuk. That was valid, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just a scare,” Sanghyuk confirmed, handing the phone over to Chanhee as the younger boy reached over to pull it from his ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk says shut up and stop worrying. You really think we would hurt Taeyang? Unbelievable. And Inseong is going to be standing right next to them! You think Sanghyuk would </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> do something to Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows as Chanhee rolled his eyes into the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you Kyun, and we’ll keep you updated. But stop worrying so much,” Chanhee told him, ending the call without letting Youngkyun respond and tossing the phone back over to him. Sanghyuk frowned at him, catching the device without even looking down at it before shoving it in the back pocket of his pants. Sanghyuk reached down to the floor, picking up his earpiece which he had discarded on the floor when Youngkyun called. He really needed to stop just leaving things lying around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin, hey, how you doing so far?” Sanghyuk asked as he repositioned the small mic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deal with it,” Chanhee told him through his own mic, smirking at his own comment. Chanhee peeked over the small balcony, looking down into the crowd of people. “Bin, your tie is a bit crooked, fix it. And stop responding to us. Just listen. You’re literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>surrounded </span>
  </em>
  <span>by people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin worst spy ever,” Sanghyuk commented into the mic as Youngbin straightened his tie. Chanhee moved his hand over and slapped Sanghyuk on the arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t listen to him baby. Youngbin world’s best spy,” Chanhee encouraged him, repositioning himself. “All you have to do is make sure you don’t turn away from the action. The tiny camera pinned to your suit will do all the real work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As expected, Youngbin didn’t respond, but Sanghyuk could mentally hear him cursing the both of them out. “You’ll be fine,” Sanghyuk reassured him, as if Youngbin really wanted to be reminded of what he agreed to. Youngbin didn’t really agree. It was more like inviting him out for drinks and then giving him an ear piece and filling him on the plan while he was already in the car. But Youngbin easily went along with it, even though he cursed at them a lot. The boy never seemed to deny helping them, for some reason. “Do you want us to go over the plan again? Cough once for ‘yes’,” Sanghyuk added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A small cough came from the mic, and Sanghyuk smiled in success. “Okay, so when the control guy drops the curtain, our curtain is going to be there instead of whatever the hell was supposed to be there before. Chanhee is gonna kill the power in the entire building, making it pitch black, and when he turns the lights back on I’ll be on the stage, hopefully between Inseong and Jaeyoon. I won’t hurt anyone, and I won’t even touch Inseong. The whole plan is to see how the two of them react. My goal is to get Inseong with me without even touching him. If Jaeyoon let’s that happen then he’s severely off his game, so I don’t even expect that to happen. Basically, I’m just gonna play with them both, land a few good hits on Jaeyoon, and when Chanhee decides it’s enough, he’ll kill the lights again, I’ll drop a vapor bomb that everyone will think is filled with smoke, and hopefully scare everyone. When Chanhee turns the lights back on, I’ll be gone. Simple, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This plan is not simple,” Chanhee concluded into the mic. “This plan is so dramatic but Sanghyuk wants to play so this is what we’re doing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get to kick the shit out of Jaeyoon so this is fun for me either way,” Sanghyuk added with a shrug, contentedly looking over the railing of the platform they were hidden on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee furrowed his brows, slowly looking over at Sanghyuk. “Jaeyoon usually kicks the shit out of </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nobody asked for your opinion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, I think it’s starting,” Chanhee whispered to both Youngbin and Sanghyuk as the lights on the makeshift stage lit up. “Oh, and Youngbin, remember to keep your face hidden as much as you can. Taeyang knows who you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd erupted into applause as Jaeyoon walked out onto the stage, smiling with his cheeks all puffed out. Taeyang followed out a few seconds after him, not following Jaeyoon to the center of the stage, but instead planting his feet at the back, to the right side of Jaeyoon. Inseong came out by his side and stood directly next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much for coming today, everyone,” Jaeyoon announced, his lips glowing with a thankful smile as his hands clasped together in front of him. A mic was attached to the pin on his shirt so he didn’t even have to hold a microphone. The crowd around him settled down, looking up to the stage with the calmest demeanor Sanghyuk had ever seen from a crowd. But then again, there were all people Jaeyoon had been actually working with, and this was just a congratulations ceremony to show off all their hard work, basically. Sanghyuk’s viewpoint was that the money used to rent the building could have been donated instead of used for this garbage, but whatever. Rich people were rich people and sucked no matter what anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As you know, our-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stopped listening. He honestly didn’t care to hear Jaeyoon’s speech, no matter how long it went on for. Sanghyuk’s attention was drawn to Inseong. He felt bad for the boy. Inseong had told him time and time again how much he hated being in the public eye, and here he was standing on a stage he probably wasn’t even meant to be standing on just displayed for everyone in the room to see. The toes of his shoes bounced together where he stood a bit out of nervousness, and Sanghyuk just wished he could take it all away from him. Well… actually, he most likely wouldn’t be helping. If anything, his appearance would just freak Inseong out even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk had a feeling that wasn’t the case. Inseong looked perfectly relaxed when he had been kidnapped before. Perhaps Inseong wouldn’t be freaked out by his appearance. Maybe Inseong would be fine with it, and maybe even less panicked than Jaeyoon. But this plan wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>about</span>
  </em>
  <span> Inseong. For once, this plan was about Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin had his camera aimed at both of them, but Sanghyuk wasn’t truly interested in how Inseong reacted anymore. He’d seen enough about how Inseong reacted to know he was uncomfortable around Jaeyoon. He didn’t like Jaeyoon. He didn’t want to be around him. Sanghyuk didn’t need a whole theatrical plan to understand that. But this looped back around to the fact that the one thing Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> know was how </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span> would react. How would Jaeyoon react </span>
  <em>
    <span>in public</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Sanghyuk getting between him and Inseong? In private, Jaeyoon freaked out on him whenever Inseong was brought up. Would his reaction change in the public eye? Was it all an act? Would he try to get Inseong away or would he try to get between them? Would Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>say</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything to Inseong? Would he </span>
  <em>
    <span>grab</span>
  </em>
  <span> Inseong? How far was he willing to go to keep the two of them away from each other? </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Sanghyuk wanted to know. He wanted to know how Jaeyoon would react toward Inseong when something unexpected happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe then his train of endlessly looped thoughts could finally be derailed. All he needed was </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna start heading down,” Sanghyuk whispered, looking toward Chanhee. “When the curtain drops-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know the plan, just go,” Chanhee encouraged in a low voice, pushing his shoulder lightly. Of course he had everything handled. He was Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smirked at him before beginning to crawl his way across the platform. He didn’t want to crawl, but he knew he couldn’t allow himself to be seen. He made it about halfway towards the stairs when Jaeyoon began talking about the results of their efforts, and so Sanghyuk stopped walking. He peeked his head over the railing, watching with a smile on his face, mask in hand, as he awaited everyone’s reaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon stepped back to the other side of the stage from Taeyang and Inseong. The curtain fell. Taeyang and Inseong stepped back. And Sanghyuk’s heart stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not our curtain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd gasped at the black painted symbol on the curtain. The familiar D encased in a circle spread a panic throughout the room as Jaeyoon began looking around with wide eyes. Taeyang grabbed onto Inseong’s wrist like a comfort, but Sanghyuk couldn’t even focus on their reactions. His eyes were focused on the dripped paint, making the symbol messy and hectic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our curtain was clean,” Sanghyuk whispered, his heart beating erratically in his chest as his mind swirled. “Our paint wasn’t dripping like that—that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> our curtain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk what do you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous,” Sanghyuk mumbled, biting his lip as he looked down to the stage. Anonymous was here. Anonymous was in the building with him right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Chanhee cursed into the microphone. Sanghyuk could barely hear it, his heart pounding against his chest as his eyes locked on Taeyang and Inseong. If Anonymous was here that meant he was doing something. But if he replaced the sheet that meant he knew Dawon was here too. And beyond that… Anonymous knew Dawon was here… and </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> replaced the sheet. He wasn’t afraid to be found… because he knew he had the upper hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes flickered nervously around the crowd, trying to figure out his plan. Nothing had happened yet, and everyone was just waiting. Anonymous hadn’t done anything yet and Dawon couldn’t move a single part of his body. What was he waiting for? Was he waiting for Dawon to appear first? What was he doing? What was his plan? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, what else had Anonymous done while pretending to be Dawon? He had blown shit up, hurt people, caused car accidents, started fires, and gassed people. What would he do this time? Was he waiting for Dawon to appear so he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> blame everything on him? It was a flawless plan, Sanghyuk had to admit. If he was standing down there as Dawon, and Anonymous did something terrible, nobody could debate on whether he had really done it or not, anymore. But Sanghyuk knew in the back of his mind that if he didn’t go down there, Anonymous would do whatever he planned to do anyways. Sanghyuk was trapped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bit his lip again as he looked down to the crowd. Youngbin was there. If Anonymous’s plan targeted the crowd, Youngbin would get hurt. Sanghyuk couldn’t let that happen. He looked over to the stage. It made sense, as Dawon, to target Jaeyoon, though. So if Anonymous targeted the stage, Inseong and Taeyang would both be hurt. Sanghyuk couldn’t let that happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk what’s the plan?” Chanhee asked, his voice low and nervous as the people in the crowd below continued to chat and scream. Jaeyoon looked at the sheet with wide eyes, still searching for Dawon even though he hadn’t appeared yet. Taeyang tried to pull Inseong behind him while Inseong bit his lip, staring down at the ground. What exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> the plan? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, uhm,” Sanghyuk stuttered, trying to think of a solution. But he really only had one. There was only one thing he could do. “Abort.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Abort the mission,” Sanghyuk whispered, looking back towards the stage. “Chanhee, we’re shutting it down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you can’t be-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Turn off the lights and give me fifteen seconds. Shut Jaeyoon’s mic off, turn the lights back on, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>get out</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk hissed at him, forcing himself out of his frozen state as he started making his way down the rest of the platform as quickly as he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> a plan-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The plan is to get everyone out of this building before anything can happen,” Sanghyuk hissed, his body nearly shaking with how nervous and </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was. “Shut off the lights </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t give Chanhee any other option, pulling his earpiece out and pulling the microphone off, shoving both of them in the pocket of his pants as he pulled his mask over his face, securing the strap lazily over his head. Jaeyoon wouldn’t try to pull his mask off this time, he knew that for a fact. The only thing he did know for a fact, now, was how Jaeyoon would react. How ironic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within seconds, the sounds of every light in the building being shut off rang against the walls, drenching the area in pitch blackness. Sanghyuk stood up instantly, sprinting as fast as he could towards the stairs. He jumped onto the railing, sliding down it instead of taking the time to go down the stairs. When his feet hit the ground the echo rang out through his ears and over the crowd of people screaming and calling out at Jaeyoon. He heard their muffled confusion even as he felt his shoes skid on the neatly cleaned floor. He grabbed onto the railing as quickly as he could, running up onto the stage. He went around the back so he wouldn’t have to pass in front of Inseong and Taeyang, finally skidding to a stop, evening his breath as much as he could, standing right behind Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon faced the crowd now, and Sanghyuk could feel Jaeyoon’s shoulders tense from their close proximity. He knew he was there. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the new plan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lights turned back on with a loud click that bounced away from every light in the building, drenching the scene in showers of light. Sanghyuk tried not to flinch when the lights turned on, but that was honestly the least startling thing he had to worry about right now. The crowd gasped, screaming out warnings to Jaeyoon who stood facing forward, frozen. He was tense, but not like he was scared. He was tense like he was ready to fight when Dawon made the first move. He planned to anyways. Sanghyuk leaned forward just slights as the crowd slowly quieted down, holding their voices in fear as Dawon just stood there, seemingly unmoving. But he was moving. He placed his mouth as close to Jaeyoon’s ear as he could without making any noticeable movements. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get everyone out,” he whispered, his voice so low that he thought Jaeyoon might not have even heard him. Taeyang and Inseong were so close, though. He couldn’t risk speaking any louder. Jaeyoon’s head made a sudden movement, just slightly flinching to the side. It was a sign that he had heard him, and that’s all he needed. Sanghyuk took a deep breath, preparing himself. This wasn’t the plan, but it was the only thing he could do. “That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> my banner.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon blinked but said nothing. He didn’t move. Fear still encased the whole crowd of people, some of which had already run and some who held their cameras up. And Jaeyoon waited for him to make the first move, because that’s what the hero did. This was hardly a situation that felt like it fit into that category, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk released his breath, taking another one. “I’m going to move,” he warned Jaeyoon, wincing to himself as he gave away his move. “In three… two…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t wait to say one, reaching around with quick arms to grab Jaeyoon’s, and the second he did Jaeyoon spun around on him. Jaeyoon kicked at his legs, but Sanghyuk jumped back, pulling Jaeyoon’s arm with him and throwing him. The crowd screamed as they started to fight, Jaeyoon looking at Dawon wearily the entire time. Jaeyoon couldn’t see Sanghyuk's expression, but it was obvious the man knew he was scared. He couldn’t keep his face straight, actually beginning to panic as Jaeyoon spun around, landing a hit on his stomach and sending him flying to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang grabbed Inseong by his shoulders and pulled him backwards with a scream, Inseong just watching almost in a trance-like state as Sanghyuk fell to the ground. Jaeyoon spun around to look up at them, and Sanghyuk felt like he was watching it all happen in slow motion as he recovered. Jaeyoon spun around to the crowd. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everybody get out!” he yelled, turning back to Taeyang and Inseong. “Taeyang, get Inseong out of here! Both of you get outside!” he yelled as Sanghyuk pushed himself back up, swinging at Jaeyoon and knocking him down. Jaeyoon grabbed Sanghyuk’s shirt, pulling him down with him and flipping them both onto the ground. As Sanghyuk tumbled, he watched as Taeyang grabbed Inseong by the wrist, pulling him quickly down the stairs that led up to the stage. Inseong didn’t turn around to run with them, watching the fight with genuine concern in his eyes as Taeyang pulled him back. Crowds of people ran for the doors and, on the balcony, Chanhee began running the opposite way, towards the other stairs which would bring him off the platform. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk kicked at Jaeyoon, sending him flying across the floor of the stage, but Jaeyoon jumped on his feet, losing his focus as he looked to Taeyang and Inseong. Inseong didn’t fight as they ran towards the doors, but he stayed watching them with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong lifted his hand to cup his mouth, lips quivering. “Be careful!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk barely finished hearing Inseong’s words before Jaeyoon grabbed his shoulders, throwing him to the ground again. Sanghyuk kicked at him again, flipping over him like a routine and smashing him with his elbow. He wasn’t even really sure where he landed the hit at this point, because within seconds Jaeyoon had him pinned to the ground. The doors closed behind Taeyang and Inseong, leaving the building completely empty and secluded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon stayed pinning Sanghyuk to the ground, breathing heavily as he looked down at him. He was sweating, his frazzled from the sudden fight. Sanghyuk expected him to get mad, throw him off the stage maybe. But he didn’t. Jaeyoon just pushed himself up to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck was that about?” Jaeyoon asked, lifting his hand to wipe away the blood dripping from a scratch on his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed heavily as he pushed himself to a sitting position, wasting no time to lift himself to his feet. He licked his lips. “This isn’t my banner,” Sanghyuk told him, gesturing lazily to the curtain still displayed behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon cocked an eyebrow at him. “It has your symbol on it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it’s not mine,” Sanghyuk breathed out, walking away from Jaeyoon and hopping off the end of the stage. He didn’t care if Jaeyoon stood above him now. He had gotten everyone out, and Chanhee was out with the crowd to keep an eye on them for now. It would be okay. Everything would be okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it’s not yours then why are you here? Are you saying you weren’t planning anything?” Jaeyoon asked defensively, joining him in hopping off the stage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, taking a step back from him. “I was, but-” He sighed. “You wouldn’t understand it, so why bother explaining?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand it because you’re not making any sense,” Jaeyoon confessed, taking a step towards him. “You’re saying this isn’t yours and you’re clearly freaking out, but I’m really fucking confused.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> mine,” Sanghyuk clarified again, taking another step back from him. “And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> freaking out,” he confessed, taking another step back. He turned around, but kept his head angled over his shoulder. “And so am I.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without another word, Sanghyuk ran towards the back of the building, lungs burning in his chest until he got to his car. He jumped into the back seat, Chanhee driving with Youngbin in the passenger’s seat. No words were said as they took off. Sanghyuk just sank down in his seat, leaning his pulsing head in his hands as he tried to figure out what the fuck to do next.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day at work, Inseong barely spoke. He looked dead exhausted, and even had to force a smile towards Sanghyuk. He tried asking about what happened, but when he did, Inseong just shook his head, so Sanghyuk stopped asking. The boy put on a smile for the customers, but it was painful. Many customers asked about what happened, and Inseong did his best to derail the questions. Some he answered vaguely. He didn’t have the pictures-for-charity jar out on the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The day after that, Inseong messed up about three batches of cookies. Sanghyuk quickly offered to do the majority of the cooking for him, as long as he was okay dealing with all the customers. Inseong had nodded, leaning his head on Sanghyuk’s shoulder and thanking him in a tired voice. Sanghyuk patted him on the back comfortably, but bit his lip to stop himself from asking why Inseong was so down lately. He wanted to believe it was because of Dawon’s appearance, but deep down, he didn’t think that was the reason. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong had left work that day rubbing his shoulders and neck. As they walked out, Inseong’s phone began ringing. He answered within milliseconds, signalling to Sanghyuk to lock up before running in the opposite direction. He answered the phone with “hey babe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had texted Inseong over the weekend to ask if he wanted to get out and do something, but Inseong had just denied and thanked him, making the excuse that he wasn’t feeling well. That was bullshit, because when Sanghyuk went over to his house, just to check for good measure, he saw Jaeyoon’s car in the driveway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Monday, Inseong came in with a smile on his face, looking replenished. Sanghyuk wanted to believe he was feeling better now, but he didn’t. Inseong didn’t smile when he thought Sanghyuk wasn’t looking. He constantly rubbed at his body. Sanghyuk could smell a pain patch stuck to his skin whenever he drifted too close, though, but only towards the end of the day as Inseong’s cologne faded away. Inseong wasn’t really feeling any better, he just felt refreshed enough to act like he had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While they cleaned up that night, Inseong kept looking down at his phone. Sanghyuk pretended not to notice. He also pretended he didn’t see Inseong’s hands shaking or the way he couldn’t focus enough to stop wiping the same counter spot for three minutes straight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Tuesday, Sanghyuk tried to ask him about it, but Inseong just bit his lip and shook his head. He didn’t even say anything, like if he did he would just break down. Sanghyuk helped him throughout the day as much as he could, handling the trays and explaining to avid customers that Inseong had to wear a mask because he wasn’t feeling the best. Sanghyuk had made him wear the mask to help him hide his expressions a bit. He hadn’t explained that reason to him, but Inseong seemed to understand. It was an unspoken thing that Sanghyuk just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He just had to wait for Inseong to accept his help. Forcing him to want help wasn’t going to get him anywhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong tried to prove to Sanghyuk several times that he was okay, but Sanghyuk saw right through every single one of them. The boy had even claimed he wanted to put the pictures-for-charity jar back out. He couldn’t find it, though, because Sanghyuk had hidden it the day before. Inseong wasn’t ready to deal with that, yet. Still, every attempt to convince Sanghyuk that he was alright made everything worse. Sanghyuk felt guilty for not being able to help. And Inseong suffered without asking for help. Like a never ending train in a constant loop. Nothing ever changed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wednesday was different. Sanghyuk had barely gotten halfway through the door when he heard the stuffiness in Inseong’s voice; that is, when he spoke. Inseong barely spoke all day. He even asked if he could swap jobs with Sanghyuk and bake so he wouldn’t have to talk to customers. Well, he didn’t explain why he wanted to switch, Sanghyuk just knew. When things didn’t need to be baked, or while Inseong waited for them to finish baking, he checked his phone. He even bit his nails a bit, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he replied to texts. Sanghyuk didn’t need to ask who Inseong was texting to know. As the day went on, Inseong said less and less, eventually just communicating through hand movements. He used the mask Sanghyuk had given him again to hide himself, even in the back of the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air was awkward as they cleaned the kitchen. Or maybe it wasn’t, it was just Sanghyuk. He wanted to say something, but he couldn’t figure out what to say. He didn’t know what would trigger Inseong. He had literally no idea what to say. All he knew was that he wanted to understand. He wanted to help. But he didn’t understand. And he couldn’t help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What made it worse was the almost silent sniffle that came from Inseong as he hung up his apron. Sanghyuk wanted to comment, but instead he just pretended he didn’t hear it. He turned away like a coward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He threw the wadded up paper towels in the trash after cleaning the counter, almost turning to look toward Inseong. He didn’t. Instead, he opened his mouth to </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> say something. He would risk saying whatever came to his head first at this point. But every word was suffocated and turned to ash the second Inseong’s phone started ringing on the counter. Jaeyoon’s name flashed on the screen, now decorated cheesily with a heart and cute picture. Sanghyuk despised it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When it rang for the second time, Sanghyuk furrowed his brows. He turned around to face Inseong behind him, but what he saw absolutely broke his heart. Inseong stood in front of him, tears streaming down his face, as he watched the phone ring. His lips pulled back as tears ran down his face, and his shoulders caved in like he was going to collapse. He heaved silently, trying not to let his cries out as the sound of the phone ringing filled the cafe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong…” Sanghyuk found himself mumbling, but he didn’t have any words to go beyond that. Inseong didn’t even look up to him, just crying as he watched the phone light up on the counter. Sanghyuk moved towards him carefully, testing his limits step by step. Inseong didn’t move. He didn’t look up at him. He just cried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, Sanghyuk reached him. He moved slowly, stepping up to Inseong and wrapping his arms around his torso. Inseong didn’t hesitate to lean his head onto Sanghyuk’s shoulder, drenching his shirt in tears as his arms came to wrap around Sanghyuk’s body. Sanghyuk held him tightly, convincing himself that he would never let Inseong go, even if it meant dying to make sure he was safe. Inseong cried into his shoulder and the ringing cut out. Inseong cried harder, pulling Sanghyuk into his chest like a stuffed bear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk please don’t make me go home tonight,” Inseong pleaded through heaves of breath and tears. “I- I can’t. I can’t do it. He’s gonna be there… and I can’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t make you go home tonight,” Sanghyuk assured him, patting him on the back lightly as he let his head fall to Inseong’s chest. “You never have to go home again if you don’t want to. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Inseong mumbled, his chest shaking as he continued to cry. His phone started ringing again, and together, they stood in the middle of the cafe, just listening to the noise enveloped in each other’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll protect you,” Sanghyuk told him, tears rising to his own eyes despite trying to hold them back. “I promise I’ll make sure you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look like shit,” Chanhee commented, raising both eyebrows at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like shit,” Sanghyuk admitted with a nod, lifting his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “I stayed at the cafe with Inseong last night, and then lied and told him I slept. I didn’t, obviously. But fuck, man, I’m exhausted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much sleep have you been getting lately?” Chanhee asked, falling down on the couch and pulling his phone out in front of him. He crossed his ankles, making himself comfortable. “You should go to sleep early tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should, shouldn’t I?” Sanghyuk asked with a weak smile. “But I’m not tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just said you were exhausted,” Chanhee pointed out, only glancing up from his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a difference between being exhausted and tired,” Sanghyuk defended, joining him on the couch. Chanhee scoffed as Sanghyuk scooted closer to him, cuddling up to his side. “I think I’ll just sleep like this,” he told him, closing his eyes and resting his head against Chanhee’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a bed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>heathen</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Chanhee spat at him with a laugh, shoving him off his shoulder and pushing him onto the ground. Sanghyuk made no effort to get up, opting to just curl into a ball by Chanhee’s feet instead. It was just a joke, to be honest, as Sanghyuk waited for Chanhee to kick him just for laughs. And seriously, Sanghyuk did not feel tired. But he didn’t remember much else after falling to the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thoughts swirled in his head in a pit of darkness. Inseong had convinced Sanghyuk he was okay to go home for the night. Of course, Sanghyuk didn’t like that idea at all, knowing that Jaeyoon had stopped calling after two missed calls and hadn’t even texted Inseong since. He tried to explain that to him, but Inseong had just put a refreshed smile on his face and told him it was alright. He walked home, as usual. And Sanghyuk couldn’t do anything to convince him to come back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A person who didn’t want help was close to impossible to help. And Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> want help, no matter how many times he asked for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So again, Sanghyuk knew nothing new. Everything fell back into a repeated pattern. The train kept spinning around the track. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk mumbled incoherently at the sound of a voice calling what he thought he heard was his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>get up</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was debating getting up, but he didn’t have much of a choice when Chanhee hit his stomach, causing Sanghyuk to instantly shoot up with a groan, holding a handover his stomach as he turned around to glare at his brother. “What?” he asked in a harsh tone, but all defense of his sleep vanished when he saw Chanhee holding his phone out in front of his face. Sanghyuk blinked away the tiredness from his eyes, lazily noting how early in the morning it was, before adjusting his eyes to read the article. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon’s car spotted after Jaeyoon’s charity event, sighted again in central Seoul.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Sanghyuk cursed, really blinking himself away as he grabbed the phone from Chanhee’s hands. “Wait that was over a week ago, how-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Someone came forward about it,” Chanhee told him, reaching up to his head to brush his hair back. “They were scared you would come for them if they told anyone before now. Then the police found your car again. So now they know the make, model, color, and have pictures of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk cursed again, reaching up to rub the last of the remaining sleep from his eyes as he stared down at the phone, eyes glancing over the words filling the article but not actually taking any of them in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee reached down and tore it from his hands. “You have to go down to Cheonan and trade the car in with Mr. Seo,” he told him, shutting the phone off and pocketing it. “Now. Like… </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk froze at Chanhee’s words. “I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> have to…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Hyuk. In case you’ve forgotten, Mr. Seo threatened to kill me next time he saw me,” Chanhee reminded him with a bite to his voice, running his hands through his hair again. “I can’t believe we got this lazy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself off of the ground, reaching forward and grabbing the sleeve of Chanhee’s shirt. “Drive me down,” he begged, eyes going wide. “I’ll trade in the car, but at least drive me down. Mr. Seo wasn’t serious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>deadly</span>
  </em>
  <span> serious,” Chanhee pointed out, pushing his hand off of his sleeve. He stepped back. “You need to leave now. So cut the bullshit and get ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not even coming with me?!” Sanghyuk asked, panic bubbling in his chest as he moved to step forward, his foot hooking on the underside of the coffee table instead and sending him tumbling to the ground. He pushed himself back up quickly, more or less tumbling his way over to Chanhee messily as the boy walked into their room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!” Chanhee screamed, spinning around and glaring at him. Sanghyuk froze, his heart stopping in his chest. “Do you not realize how fucking serious this is?! Has that not settled in for you yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand it’s serious!” Sanghyuk defended, walking into their room as Chanhee turned around to do that same. “But Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Authorities are literally looking for your car!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know!” Sanghyuk pointed out, watching as Chanhee leaned down to pull the bin out from underneath Sanghyuk’s bed. He grabbed Sanghyuk’s mask, tossing it up onto the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what don’t you understand?! Everyone is looking for your car right now. These articles </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> came out, so good luck getting all the way to Cheonan without passing any checkpoints.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip, bouncing on his feet as he tried to grasp onto reasons for Chanhee to drive instead of him. He laced his fingers together. “Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I’m driving, then we’re fucked. I need to be able to give you alternate routes. What happens if you get caught, huh? Then-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah!” Sanghyuk interrupted, jumping forward. “Why would I get caught?” he asked, his voice shaky as he tried to calm himself down. The situation wasn’t helping, in fact it was making him panic even more. “Why are you talking like we won’t be able to get out of this?! We’ve managed this long without being caught. Why would you say I’d get caught this time?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, biting his lip in frustration as he stood to his feet. “Have you not noticed a trend lately?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A trend?! What trend?! Nothing has changed, Chanhee!” Sanghyuk found himself screaming, flailing his hands around in dramatic gestures. “Everything is still the same as it’s always been! People have always tried to find me! What’s so bad about it this time?! This isn’t the first time they’re found a car I used!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and how many of those times has everything been as fucked as it is now?” Chanhee challenged, stepping up to him. He raised his hand, lifting a finger. “They are looking for you as we speak. You’re not ahead of them this time.” He lifted another finger. “You’ve lost </span>
  <em>
    <span>complete</span>
  </em>
  <span> control of the public’s opinion of you, and yet you’ve been in the news </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> is looking for you.” He added a third finger. “Where is Anonymous right now? We don’t know. We don’t know who he is, where he is, or if he is after you or not. We can’t predict shit.” A fourth finger. “A lot of people hate you for the things Anonymous has done lately. They won’t just not report you. Again, you’re Seoul’s biggest hit lately.” A fifth finger flashed in front of Sanghyuk’s face. “And we’ve never had this little time to prepare for something like this. You say nothing is different? Sanghyuk, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> is different. Every single odd is against us right now and you’re complaining because you don’t want to drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t driven in years after what happened!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, feeling himself boiling up with fear and anger. “I was being Dawon when that happened! And you want me to go behind the wheel again now and play Dawon again and act like everything is okay?! Chanhee, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> everything is fucked up! But you saying I could get caught is only worrying me more!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you at least know the truth?!” Chanhee screamed back. “This is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>serious</span>
  </em>
  <span> situation, and you’re acting like it’s just another job! It’s not! It’s fucking not! Everything is getting harder! Everything is falling apart! Nothing is as easy as it was before! So </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> stop fighting me on driving! You don’t have a choice!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip, feeling his eyes fill with tears. “Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you hate driving but Sanghyuk, you don’t have a fucking choice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t take your eyes off the road this time,” Chanhee scolded him, grabbing his mask from the bed and shoving it in his hands. “This isn’t a car chase with Jaeyoon like it was last time. You just have to get down to Cheonan and trade in the car. You’re not racing, you’re being careful this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” Sanghyuk denied, shaking his head as he stepped back. “Chanhee I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then call it,” Chanhee dared him, glaring at him with his teeth gritting together. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you want to go to the Horizon.” Sanghyuk went silent at Chanhee’s words, blinking at him. “We made that code word in case, some day, things went so bad that we couldn’t handle them, right? Abandon Dawon, escape, run away, all of that. So if you can’t handle it now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>say it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Things aren’t that bad yet,” Sanghyuk found himself whispering. He shook his head. “That is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> resort.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then get in the fucking car before it’s too late to use it,” Chanhee told him, pushing past him. He grabbed a mask from the coffee table, tossing it at Sanghyuk who trailed like a lost dog behind him. Sanghyuk caught it easily, but it felt like it weighed more than him in his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Think about Inseong,” Chanhee mumbled under his breath, every muscle in Sanghyuk’s body freezing. “If your identity gets revealed, not only is that gonna hurt him, but you won’t be there to help him anymore. This isn’t just about us anymore. So just </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, stop trying to think of other ways to do this. Drive down to Cheonan and see Mr. Seo. I’ll be on the phone with you the whole time, hacking cameras and redirecting you from police checkpoints. But we are in the dead center of Seoul right now, and we need to leave before we can’t get out of Seoul at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk held tightly onto the mask in his hands, feeling the weight against his palms and fingers. What about the situation wasn’t settling in for him? Chanhee was right, this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>serious</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It didn’t feel serious, though. It felt like just another mission, but the more he contemplated it, the more he realized how out of control everything was. Everything that had stayed consistent throughout his entire career as Dawon had crumbled to bits and pieces. It wasn’t the situation that was bad, it was the lack of control they had over it. It had come to a point now, where Sanghyuk couldn’t even leave Seoul as he pleased. He had to sneak out. The city was looking for him, and neither of them really had much of an idea what to do. They had this one plan. For once, there were no odds they could manipulate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If they failed, there was no backup plan. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sanghyuk agreed weakly, hooking the base mask over his ears. He looked up to Chanhee with a pained expression. “Just don’t hang up the phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Chanhee promised him, a faint smile of encouragement pulling at his lips. He was worried too. It was written all over his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sent him off quickly, but Sanghyuk felt like his heart was physically being pulled in five different directions as he stuck the keys into the ignition, starting the car up. He would be fine. He knew he would be fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had emptied the trunk of the car before sending him off. The only thing related to Dawon in the car now was his mask sitting upside down in the passenger seat. Over his face, he had his regular face mask tugged over his mouth and glasses perched on his nose. His hair was styled to conceal his forehead, but Chanhee had him wear a hoodie anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun hadn’t even risen yet as Sanghyuk pulled away from the curb, feeling like his chest would collapse in on itself as he began driving. He reached up carefully, sticking his earpiece in around his ears to secure it, quickly placing both hands back on the wheel of the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee I’m moving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m tracking your location, don’t worry,” Chanhee assured him. “I need you to take the next left you see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It went like that for most of it, just Chanhee giving him simple directions and guiding him around the city. Apparently, the police had checkpoints on every bridge crossing Han River in Seoul, but Cheonan was South, so they had to cross the river. So Chanhee was taking him out of Seoul first. Sanghyuk would cross the bridge in Namyangju instead, and head South from there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his palms sweating at every single red light he was stopped at, but Chanhee hadn’t said anything yet. He was listening in on the police radios, so he would know if anything new came up. Hopefully. Everything was just a hope at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take your next right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sanghyuk breathed out, gently spinning the wheel to take the turn. Driving felt foreign to him, but he did his best to stay completely calm. It was hard, though. Every time he looked out the window he felt like everyone was looking at him. It felt like every single person that passed by him might call something in and report it. He wasn’t even out of Seoul yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost twenty minutes later, Sanghyuk felt the blood drain from his face at a stoplight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee there’s a checkpoint ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you not fucking hear me? I can see a checkpoint!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The police don’t have that one on the map! There shouldn’t be any checkpoint there!” Chanhee called out in a panic. “Hyuk, there shouldn’t be a checkpoint there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I can see one in front of me so what the fuck do I do?!” Sanghyuk hissed, bracing himself as the light turned green. He moved forward with the crowd of cars. “Chanhee </span>
  <em>
    <span>quick</span>
  </em>
  <span>,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just get out of there for now,” Chanhee told him, clearly distracted by everything else happening. “Sanghyuk get out of there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked to his left, then to his right, searching for an alternate road to take. The checkpoint was right in front of him, but there were no side streets he could take to avoid it. It was a straight shot through the border into Namyangju. There was no way to avoid going through the checkpoint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee I have to go through it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Chanhee told him, scrambling on the other end of the call. “Find another way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk hissed back at him, moving forward with the cars that moved one by one past the checkpoint. The road widened immediately after the checkpoint, spacing out for cars to get around each other. “Chanhee I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> get around it. There are no other roads to take.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sanghyuk, just ditch the car. Run.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I ditch the car and run they’ll catch me!” Sanghyuk called into the ear piece, sweating as he neared closer and closer to the checkpoint. “Chanhee I have to go through it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh and you think they won’t catch you if you go through there?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least I’m not running on foot,” Sanghyuk stated, biting his lip as he contemplated the options he didn’t have. “Chanhee I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t care. This was a bad idea. We should have just abandoned the car and dealt with our losses. This was stupid. Sanghyuk, ditch the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was Sanghyuk supposed to do now? As he neared closer and closer to the checkpoint, he had less and less options. His window for making decisions was closing quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had two options as he saw it right now, and he didn’t have time to come up with a third. He could ditch the car and run, that was his first option. If he did that, he would be dangerously close to the police force. He would have to use his mask to keep himself completely hidden, but the problem was he really had no idea where to run. He couldn’t trust police positioning from Chanhee’s end because they had clearly not stated every position they occupied. Sanghyuk didn’t know the area, and if he ran into anyone bigger than him he was fucked. He didn’t have his belt with him or anything he could use to get the upper hand. If he managed to run away, and that was a big if, he had nowhere to run to. The car was junked, and the whole world would have seen how screwed he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or he could go through the checkpoint. The checkpoints were looking for him specifically, so they would recognize the car. But they hadn’t already. They would see his car and detain him without hesitation. But the problem was that Sanghyuk’s car was popular, especially in black. He definitely wasn’t the only person who owned a car like this. If he used his words to get through the situation, he could use the fact that he had already been suspected for being Dawon to get him out of the situation. That was the best idea he had, but there was one </span>
  <em>
    <span>major</span>
  </em>
  <span> problem with it. His mask was with him in the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This left one more option. He would have to go through the checkpoint without stopping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His car moved closer every second, and his window was shrinking at an increasingly rapid pace. He had two options now, and he had to choose. Chanhee wanted him to ditch the car. That would be the safest, right? He could get away and hide easier if he was just one person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip, tightening his grip on the wheel. But they would see Dawon running away like a coward. The whole world would see him scared. The whole world would know he tried to escape. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dawon didn’t work like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dawon also wasn’t very smart when it came to decision making. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going through it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m approaching the checkpoint,” Sanghyuk informed Chanhee, not bothering himself with the boy’s opinion as he waited for the car in front of him to move. He pressed gently on the gas, keeping his head straight ahead and completely covered as he rolled up to the checkpoint top. Nobody stood in front of the car. It was a clear shot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The police officer’s eyes went wide in front of him, staring down at the car. And Sanghyuk floored it. The wheels of his car screamed as the car jolted forward, and he sped up as fast as he possibly could. Sirens started turning on behind him, but Sanghyuk focused every bit of his attention on the road in front of him. The sirens wailed behind him as he sped up, passing a car in front of him and running onto the expressway. It was the easiest way he could get away from the cops. He sped up the car, blocking out the sirens trailing far behind him as he passed another car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Change of plans, Chanhee, get me out of here,” he spoke into the microphone, creasing his brows as he moved around another car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sanghyuk!” Chanhee cursed, clearly panicking as Sanghyuk pushed forward. The police cars behind him moved onto the expressway, only forcing Sanghyuk to up his speed. The speed limit was 120 km/hr, but he was already going 140. He pushed it to 150, jerking the wheel to get around the cars in front of him as the sirens screamed behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“CHANHEE GET ME OUT OF HERE” Sanghyuk screamed, gripping the wheel until his knuckles turned white as he maneuvered around another crowd of cars. He pushed his speed to 160, zooming by every car on the road, passing them as smoothly as he could, which wasn’t very. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sanghyuk why did you do that?!” Chanhee screamed at him, his voice hoarse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t have another option!” Sanghyuk screamed back at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I FUCKING GAVE YOU ANOTHER OPTION YOU ASSHOLE!” Chanhee screamed. “Take the next exit off the expressway. Don’t change lanes before then because-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk spat at him, eyeing the exit from where he already was. He braced his hands on the wheel, breathing heavily as he checked his mirrors. He was so fucked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a harsh tug, he pumped the brakes quickly, jerking his car as he spun the wheel hard. The back of his car slid out from under his control, forcing him to countersteer quickly to correct it. His speed was gone in an instant, his heart beating dangerously fast in his chest as he pulled himself off the ramp. He didn’t wait for the light in front of him to turn green, eyeing the small gap in between the cars baking their way towards the light. He didn’t wait, spinning his car right in between them. A chorus of car horns beeped at him, sirens following after him down the ramp as they tried to maintain the speed themselves. Sanghyuk sped up again, moving around the car in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now what?” he asked nervously, just following the road straight ahead until he had more directions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bear left,” Chanhee told him, breathing heavily against the mic. “You need to lose them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you ditch the car?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No until I lose them,” Sanghyuk told him, bearing left with his instructions. The cars behind him followed his directions easily, catching up as the cars in front of them moved to the side to let them through. “Can you turn me around?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> would I turn you around?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get me back on the expressway. I need to throw them off. They can’t know I have a path I’m following. Make it look random.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is a shit plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, complain later,” Sanghyuk told him, gripping the wheel tightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay take a left… </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk spun the wheel of his car harshly, pumping the brakes as he spun the car. He redirected himself quickly, following the road ahead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take the next left you see, and then take a right. It’ll be a hard left, but that will lead you right back to the on ramp,” Chanhee explained. Sanghyuk nodded, watching the turn approach before slamming on his brakes, turning the wheel and spinning the back tires of his car out from under him. He ignored the cars beeping around him, completely aware of how many accidents he was close to causing, but he couldn’t focus on that now. He straightened out his car again, speeding up as quickly as he could. When he got to the next turn, he spun his car right, speeding forward and maneuvering around cars until he made it to the on ramp. He sped up quickly, easily going 150 km/hr again as he sped down the expressway. It was close to empty right now, so early in the morning. He sped up to 160. The sirens blared behind him. He got to 170.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The police will expect you to keep going down. But the expressway ends in two more exits. You need to take the next one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t I going to end up close to where I just was, then?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows as he zoomed by a car. He readjusted his hands on the wheel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and from there… god I don’t fucking know. I’ll have you keep heading south until you can lose them and ditch the car. Sanghyuk this was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea,” Chanhee told him, his voice clearly strained even through the call.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk agreed, spotting the exit in front of him. He slowly began slowing down the car, knowing he couldn’t shit onto an exit going 170 km/hr. He slowed to 150 while it was in sight, and down to 140 as he approached it. He checked his mirror again to note how far behind him the police cars were, bringing his eyes back down to the road, ready to turn onto the exit ramp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like a sudden clash of thunder, so unexpected and sudden. His body was jerking forward before he could turn the wheel, his arms flying back as the airbag exploded into his body, shoving him back against the seat. He tried to grab back onto the wheel, but his hands couldn’t find it. He felt the car spinning around him, and with a jolt so violent he thought his car had just been launched off a cliff, the spinning came to a stop. Sanghyuk’s head slammed into the airbag, back aching from slamming against the back of the seat. He felt like he couldn’t breathe properly, his mind spinning from everything that was just happening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The airbag deflated in front of him, but still, he felt like he couldn’t see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gasped for breath, but it didn’t feel like he took any in. He gasped again, his throat making a terrible sound as he struggled for breath. Why couldn’t he breathe? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He curled his fingers against the console of his car to ground him. There was so little feeling. He gasped for air again. Carefully, he lifted his fingers up to his ears. The earpiece was gone, and as much as he wanted to bend down and search for it, he felt like he couldn’t move. The airbag continued to deflate in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked his eyes carefully, trying to get rid of the fuzzy vision in front of him. He had to find his earpiece. That was the only way he could contact Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gasped for breath again before raising his eyes. The windshield of his car was completely shattered, pieces of glass littering the inside of his car. He could feel them covering his body. His lip was bleeding. He wondered what else was too. His mouth tasted too much like blood for it to only be his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinked up through the windshield, adjusting his vision to see what had caused his car to lose control. And he saw it. And as his eyes locked onto it, Sanghyuk felt himself unable to even gasp for breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A light blue Maserati sat smoking on the side of the road, crushed to pieces from the impact of crashing into Sanghyuk’s car. He began to panic, and without even thinking, Sanghyuk moved to reach into the passenger seat. He patted the surface of the seat, never taking his eyes off of the Maserati in front of him. But his fingers couldn’t find anything but shards of glass. Sanghyuk tore his eyes from the road in front of him, looking down to the passenger seat with wide eyes. His mask wasn’t there. The passenger door of the car was crushed inward, smooshing the seat and the passenger’s side of the dashboard. The back of the car was a crumpled disaster, the windows were all terribly broken, and Sanghyuk couldn’t find his mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up quickly, watching as the door to the Maserati opened slowly. Sanghyuk gasped for breath again, moving his hands to the buckle of his seatbelt, pushing in the button. It didn’t come undone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Sanghyuk gasped, feeling tears beginning to stream down his face in fear as he tried to free himself from the car. “Please, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>please,” he whispered to himself, still out of breath, as he pulled at the belt. He pressed down on the buckle again, pulling the belt loose and tossing it away from his body. He reached for the door instantly, but looked back down to the passenger seat. He didn’t have his mask. He had to find his mask first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up to the Maserati, his lungs burning from the lack of air he had. He still couldn’t breathe. The door opened, a figure stepping out, squared shoulders, dark, black hair. A small drop of blood dripped down from his head, and his eyes looked around the area in a dazed fashion. Sanghyuk felt his lungs caving in now. His heart felt like it stopped beating, his stomach muscles tensing as he gasped for breath again, his body folding forward in pain. The pain didn’t have a source. It was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jae- Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk gasped in a voice no higher than a broken crack. He looked to the passenger seat again, shifting his aching body to look to the floor of the passenger seat. His mask wasn’t there. It wasn’t there, he couldn’t find his mask. He lifted his head, moving his hands lazily to pull his bottom layer mask up. Jaeyoon left the car. Jaeyoon had crashed into his car. The blue Maserati never belonged to Anonymous, it belonged to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled the handle to the door quickly, pushing it open and falling out to the asphalt. He didn’t wait to push himself to his feet, though, listening as the cop cars pulled up. Footsteps raced after him. His whole body ached. Everything hurt. He couldn’t go fast enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon was on top of him before he could brace himself, every inch of him screaming in pain as Jaeyoon tackled him to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, not even caring who heard him at this point. Not again. Not another situation where Jaeyoon had him trapped like this. He had to get back to Chanhee. Chanhee didn’t even know what had happened. He had to get back to Chanhee. He couldn’t let Jaeyoon succeed this time. Sanghyuk reached his hands up, pushing weakly against Jaeyoon’s chest, but it wasn’t even worth it. He had taken much more damage in the crash than Jaeyoon had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay down!” Jaeyoon screamed at him, the sound of guns being pulled out surrounding them. Jaeyoon stared down at him, but Sanghyuk could only see so much through his blurry vision and the hair covering his eyes. The glasses were long gone, who knew where they fell in the crash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk met Jaeyoon’s eyes, pleading with him. He gritted his teeth. He had to do something. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get back to Chanhee. He had to. He had to do whatever it took. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong,” he mumbled, licking his bloody lips beneath the blood stained mask over his face. The cops talked so loudly, he doubted any of them could hear him. “That day at the charity… the thing,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his voice weak and cracked. “It wasn’t me. He could- he could have been hurt. I save- I saved him. I- please. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>helped</span>
  </em>
  <span> you,” Sanghyuk begged, tears brimming his eyes. “Please, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>helped</span>
  </em>
  <span> you,” he begged again, his voice still nothing more than a crack. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You always have,” Jaeyoon mumbled back to him, his eyes moving noticeably down to Sanghyuk’s hip, even as he had him pinned to the ground. Sanghyuk blinked, shifting his own eyes to Jaeyoon’s hip. He wore a belt, much like Sanghyuk wore when he went on missions. Sanghyuk couldn’t make out exactly what it was attached to his belt, but it was round. It had a pin in it. Jaeyoon was telling him to use it. He leaned down, just barely a little closer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys come get him! I have him pinned down!” Jaeyoon called back to the cops, his eyes never leaving Sanghyuk’s. “I’m gonna grab your left wrist in three,” he mumbled, his voice only high enough for Sanghyuk to hear. “Two…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no ‘one’. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon grabbed his left wrist to pull him up, and Sanghyuk didn’t waste the chance to pull his leg up. He kicked against Jaeyoon’s chest, curling his leg around him and sending the both of them tumbling to the ground. The cops would never risk shooting as long as Jaeyoon and him were tangled together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached around him as Jaeyoon slammed him back into the ground, grabbing the small container off of Jaeyoon’s belt and pulling the pin on it, hoping it wasn’t an explosive since he still held it in his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Black spoke poured from the bomb instantly, creating a cloud so thick even Sanghyuk couldn’t see through it. He tossed it onto the ground, pushing himself away from Jaeyoon before running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. He ran as his lungs gasped for air until he was wheezing and his legs felt completely numb. And when he had run so far he couldn’t bear to run any further, he collapsed against the wall of an unfamiliar building in an alley. He gasped for more breath, but he couldn’t get any. His back slid down the wall behind him, and he felt himself beginning to sob until he was curled into a ball, sitting on the ground against the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon had helped him escape. Jaeyoon wasn’t really the righteous man he pretended to be for the public, Sanghyuk knew that. It was all publicity. But wasn’t it time to end it all? How much longer did Jaeyoon intend to keep the whole thing going for? How much longer until he just won already?! Why would he save Sanghyuk like he did? Why didn’t he just take his victory and finally bring an end to everything?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gasped for another breath, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he tried to control his senses. Everything continued to spiral out of control. His heart continued to beat, his head pounded, his cuts and bruises stung, his body ached, and his lungs burned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Jaeyoon owned the blue Maserati. He may have saved Sanghyuk and proven to him, once again, that everything was just for publicity. But he owned the Maserati. It made no sense for Jaeyoon to attack his own fans, and it was insane to think Jaeyoon would </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> try to hurt Youngkyun or Taeyang. Jaeyoon wasn’t Anonymous. But he knew who was. Jaeyoon knew who Anonymous was, and Anonymous used his car. Anonymous used his car the day he gassed everyone. Jaeyoon had given him access to his car. Jaeyoon knew. Jaeyoon knew what Anonymous was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything else was so predictable and expected. But not this. Not Jaeyoon knowing. It was insane to think he knew. He couldn’t possibly know. It didn’t make any sense that Jaeyoon knew any amount of what was going on. Jaeyoon was bad, but he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad. Jaeyoon wasn’t the bag guy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the bad guy. Jaeyoon was the good guy. Jaeyoon was </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be the good guy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Jaeyoon knew. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have known. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was it. That was what Sanghyuk needed to derail the train in his never ending loop of thoughts. This was the one thing that changed everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>Anonymous wasn’t working separately from Jaeyoon. He was working </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Lies, Lies, and More Lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“SANGHYUK!” Chanhee cried out, running straight out of the door in nothing but loose sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. His hair bounced on his head as he ran forward, and he didn’t stop until he was crashing into Sanghyuk, wrapping his arms around Sanghyuk’s frame. His bare feet pushed him on his tippy toes, holding Sanghyuk so close that he felt warm just from the contact. Sanghyuk’s skin was freezing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee cried into his chest, pressing his eyes into his shoulder. “I’m sorry!” he cried loudly, his fingers curling around the fabric of Sanghyuk’s shirt. “I never should have sent you! I’m sorry, I’m sorry Sanghyuk. I’m so fucking sorry!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk mumbled quietly, bringing his arms to return the hug. He placed his hands on the back of Chanhee’s shoulder blades, pulling him even closer despite the pain it brought him. He rested his head on Chanhee’s. “It’s okay Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it’s not,” Chanhee cried into him, holding him even tighter. “Nothing is okay. I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have sent you like that and- and then- I- and you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk told him again, swallowing the small remnants of blood still lingering in his mouth. His vision was still blurry, and honestly he felt like he was still holding onto Chanhee like this now more for his own balance than comfort. He licked his lips, holding back any tears that threatened to fall. “Chanhee it’s okay. It was a good plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it wasn’t!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad,” Sanghyuk promised in a gentle voice, moving his hands up to hold the back of Chanhee’s head, brushing through his hair. “You told me to ditch the car and I didn’t. That was my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I couldn’t keep track of the checkpoints,” Chanhee cried, doing anything to place the blame on himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, patting the back of his head again. “It happened,” Sanghyuk explained in a careful voice, falling to nothing but a whisper against Chanhee’s head. “And it’s over now. I’m back here with you and that’s all that matters to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Hyuk,” Chanhee cried, still pulling against the material of his shirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So am I,” Sanghyuk replied, leaning his head down. “I’m sorry for always worrying you so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee pulled away from him quickly, holding onto his arms instead as he looked him over. Chanhee’s eyes were bloodshot from crying, his hair sticking up in every direction. Sanghyuk knew he looked much worse, though. “Let’s get you inside,” Chanhee decided quickly, looking around them. Everything was faded and dulled by the cool air of winter. Even the clouds blocked out any sunshine that could have warmed them. “It’s freezing out here,” Chanhee added, hooking Sanghyuk’s arm over his shoulder without warning, helping him back over to their apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk, to be honest, felt like shit. He had walked all the way home, too afraid to take busses, not that he had any money on him. He didn’t have money, a phone, his mask, or a ride. He didn’t even have a sweater with him. He made his way home like that, hiding his face and only moving in between alleys and shady buildings. He could feel his head throbbing the whole way, but he bit his lip and held it back as much as he could. His mouth tasted like blood, but eventually it just all dried up. His whole body ached from the impact of the crash, and eventually it became all he could focus on as he walked. He was tired. He was so tired. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee had him lay down on the couch, instantly wrapping him in blankets to warm him up while he moved to the kitchen to make hot chocolate. He gave him some pain meds, and Sanghyuk took them despite knowing that they barely did anything to help anymore. They really never helped much in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened, Hyuk?” Chanhee asked quietly. He was sitting on the floor in front of the couch Sanghyuk was laying on. He didn’t want to move, and he was thankful to have Chanhee taking care of him for once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you see the news? I would have thought it would be everywhere right now,” Sanghyuk confessed honestly, taking in a shaky breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee licked his lips. “I saw… some things. And I heard some things from the police radios.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you hear?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee swallowed. “That… that you were being chased on the expressway. Then… then the cops were cursing and there was so much confusion. I- I heard something about another car and some collision. And I heard something about you being cornered and guns and then something about Jaeyoon. I heard something about you having no mask and in the background I heard Jaeyoon’s voice. And then more cursing and confusion and screaming. They said something about smoke, you, running, and then they couldn’t find you. Sanghyuk… they shut down the expressway and the entire area looking for you. The news said Jaeyoon was out there, too. But- but nobody could find you. They kept looking but they didn’t know where you went. One cop said something about you being too hurt to get anywhere far… and god I just- I had no way to contact you and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>panicked</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled, nodding his head gently. “I’m sorry for making you worry, Chanhee. I lost my earpiece when the collision happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You hit another car?” Chanhee asked, raising his eyebrows. Sanghyuk shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another car hit me. Didn’t you- wait didn’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> pictures of the car? How are you not freaking out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee furrowed his brows. “Hyuk I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> freak out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no that’s not what I mean,” Sanghyuk told him, pursing his lips. “Didn’t you see the other car that hit mine? I was ready to get off the exit but he came the other way at me and slammed into my car to stop me. You saw the car right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shook his head, pulling out his phone. He rested his back against the couch while he searched up the article, pulling up the first pictures of the scene he could. “Okay,” he mumbled, looking around the area. “It’s a blue… fuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s the blue Maserati,” Sanghyuk confirmed, resting his head back on the pillows. “And it’s Jaeyoon’s car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee spun around to look at him with wide eyes, dropping his phone. “You don’t think…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> think Jaeyoon is Anonymous,” Sanghyuk confirmed quickly. “It doesn’t make enough sense. Anonymous tried to kill Kyun and Tae, right? Jaeyoon would never do that, they’re friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why was Jaeyoon driving the Maserati?” Chanhee asked, tilting his head. “The Maserati was </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span> when those people were gassed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a nod, letting his eyes flutter closed. “I think… Chanhee. I think Jaeyoon knows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Knows what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What Anonymous is doing,” Sanghyuk clarified, swallowing as he rested against the couch. “I think Jaeyoon knows and gave him access to his car that day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then wouldn’t Jaeyoon know Anonymous tried to burn Kyun and Tae’s house?” Chanhee asked, leaning against the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sanghyuk confessed with a sigh. “I don’t know what he does and does not know. I just know Anonymous used his car, which means they met in person. Anonymous is someone close who can meet Jaeyoon whenever he wants to. Maybe Jaeyoon doesn’t know all of it, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know something, right? After all, he let Anonymous use his car. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he knows something… then why does he let it happen?” Chanhee asked carefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk paused. “I don’t… I don’t know. Come to think of it… doesn’t it make him seem like somewhat of a failure for not being able to stop Dawon from causing so much damage?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he looked shocked at the charity event, like he didn’t know Anonymous would be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is a good actor,” Sanghyuk spat, opening his eyes and turning his head to look at Chanhee. “What do you think happened after the car crash? Just from watching reports and listening to the police?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee pursed his lips. “I think Jaeyoon hit your car, cornered you, but got his feet swept out from under him when you pulled the gas bomb-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> a gas bomb with me,” Sanghyuk reminded him. Chanhee’s eyes froze, searching for an answer he didn’t have. “When have you ever known Jaeyoon to bring gas bombs with him? That’s my thing. Jaeyoon doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> gas bombs to escape when he’s in public with me, because he knows he’ll win.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you saying, Hyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon had me pinned to the ground,” Sanghyuk mumbled, folding his hands together under the blankets. “And I pleaded with him to help me. He pointed out the gas bomb on his belt. Just like at the charity event, he told me when he would strike so I could get the upper hand. I got the bomb and used it to escape. Chanhee, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>helped</span>
  </em>
  <span> me escape.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is the reason I got away,” Sanghyuk confirmed, pursing his lips together. “But Chanhee, do you really think that makes sense?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee went silent for a moment, falling deep into thought. “No,” he finally concluded, looking up to Sanghyuk. “Jaeyoon and you fighting has always been a publicity stunt, obviously. But his public goal is to catch you. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. The police wouldn’t have even been given credit since it was him that caught you. After all the destruction Dawon caused, it would have been a heroic and historic moment for him to apprehend you then and there. It would have explained why Jaeyoon was endorsing Anonymous doing bad things in your name, because it would make him seem that much more heroic when he caught you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he helped me escape,” Sanghyuk reminded him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t make sense. Maybe he felt bad in the moment? I don’t- I don’t think so though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, closing his eyes again. “He had that smoke bomb on his belt before he even hit my car. There was no hesitation when he helped me. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he did it flawlessly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think Jaeyoon planned to help me escape before he even left his house,” Sanghyuk mumbled, opening his eyes to gaze up at the ceiling. “It’s the only explanation that explains why he had that smoke bomb on him, not to mention one so powerful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you think he hit your car to get to you before the police? That makes sense. He gets no credit if the police catch you. As the hero, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be the one to catch you,” Chanhee concluded, as if any of that made sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded along. “But he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> catch me, so why did he help me get away?” Sanghyuk asked again, silencing Chanhee back into thought. “Jaeyoon is a good actor and always has been. He helped me escape and I don’t know why. He’s involved with whatever Anonymous is doing on some level, and I don’t know why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, still, we have nothing new to work with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, because I have a new theory,” Sanghyuk concluded quietly, pulling his lips into a thin line. “Jaeyoon knows, to some extent, what Anonymous is doing. Think about it, Chanhee. Why wasn’t the charity event a complete disaster?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a complete disaster.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not on Jaeyoon’s part,” Sanghyuk denied. “Jaeyoon didn’t flinch when the lights went out. He knew it was me. But more importantly… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> flinch when I was behind him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was standing between him, Inseong, and Taeyang. And he didn’t flinch,” Sanghyuk clarified, tying his thoughts together. “He didn’t panic, because he knew it was going to happen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s impossible, he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> let that happen if Inseong was on stage,” Chanhee denied, shaking his head at the idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I think Inseong knew, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would Inseong know?” Chanhee asked, rolling his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pursed his lips, turning to face his brother. “Because he knows something about Jaeyoon that we don’t, and he despises him for it,” Sanghyuk reminded the boy. Chanhee’s expression changed at his words, losing any arguments that sat waiting on his lips. “I think Inseong knows something about what Jaeyoon is doing, and that’s why their relationship turned bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[July 8, 2015] [4 years ago]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Sanghyuk is 20)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bounced on the heels of his feet, nervously biting at his lip. His hair was gelled down neatly, fingers curling around the stem of the white tulip. He wanted to tug at the collar of his shirt, but he refused. If he was uncomfortable now, he could deal with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved forward carefully, placing his hand on the door handle. He could do this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened the door more gently than he had ever done anything in his life before, creeping into the dark room and sliding the door shut soundlessly behind him. The room smelled of cleaning supplies and medicine, with the typical underlying hospital smell. As much as Sanghyuk hated it, he swallowed his distaste, tiptoeing forward towards the bed on the other side of the room. A window stood tall on the other side of it; the darkness of the night outside did very little to illuminate the room, and for that Sanghyuk was glad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the blinking lights of the city buildings were annoying. Carefully, he moved over to the curtains, drawing them shut with a gentle pull of his hand. He smoothed them out, concealing the window behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the silence of the room he left himself in, Sanghyuk slid carefully over to the guest chair, sat so perfectly by the side of the bed. He placed himself in it, eyes glancing over the small girl in the bed in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk whispered, his voice so quiet that even he could barely hear it. He moved his arm carefully, placing the white tulip on the table beside the bed. He smiled gently, pulling his hands away. “I hope you can forgive me,” he whispered, bracing his hands on the chair. He didn’t push himself up out of it quite yet, eyes still lingering on the small girl. “White tulips mean new beginnings, so I hope this gives us a good one,” he added, his smile fading to a sad, forced one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved to push himself out of the chair after another moment, freezing as the little girl shifted in bed. She moaned a bit from the sleep she was still pulling herself from, but no matter how much Sanghyuk knew he should run, he didn’t. He watched as the little girl moved her hands to rub at her eyes, slowly adjusting to seeing Sanghyuk. He didn’t move, but he wasn’t necessarily panicking either. He just watched her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moved her hand carefully, reaching under the shade of the lamp and flicking on the light. Sanghyuk winced a bit at the sudden light which illuminated the room. The girl’s eyes went wide, her mouth dropping open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled sheepishly, scrunching his shoulders. “Hi, Saehyun,” Sanghyuk whispered, trying his best to keep his smile up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you Dawon?” the girl asked again, amazed by his presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, keeping his smile up. “Yeah, I’m- I’m Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah,” the girl mumbled, looking over him with wide eyes. Her hair hung lazily and unbrushed over her head, her hospital gown draped loosely over her shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk confessed quietly, moving carefully to sit back down on the chair beside Saehyun’s bed. He held his hands clasped together in his lap nervously. “I came here to say that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought people couldn’t know who you are,” Saehyun whispered back to him, her small voice a bit above a whisper since she didn’t yet know how to control the volume. She was just a little girl, only eight years old. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled again. “They can’t,” Sanghyuk confessed. “I guess that just makes you special.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your real name?” Saehyun asked, still watching him with big eyes. Her hands came to rest on top of the blankets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you that,” he admitted with a shy smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Saehyun’s expression didn’t change, just watching him. Sanghyuk was scared she would scream for help any second now. She knew what he looked like now, too; that wasn’t part of his plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna call you Cheoeum,” Saehyun finally spoke, a goofy, lopsided smile appearing on her face. A few of her teeth were missing, but it only made the smile that much cuter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk furrowed his brows. “Cheoeum?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Beginning’,” Saehyun explained, reaching over to grab the flower from the side of the table. “You said white tulip means new beginning,” she continued, pulling the flower between her small fingers. She held it up to Sanghyuk, smiling at him from behind the stem. “Cheoeum.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help the goofy smile that appeared on his face. “Cheoeum,” he agreed with a nod as Saehyun dropped her hands back down into her lap, still holding the flower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon brought me flowers too,” she confessed, the smile fading from her face a bit. She raised her hand to point across the room. Sanghuk followed her direction, laying eyes on the huge bouquet of flowers sitting in a vase across the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded. While Jaeyoon had brought her a whole bouquet, Sanghyuk had only brought her one. “They’re pretty flowers,” he told her with a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Saehyun held up the tulip again. “They don’t mean anything, though,” she told him, turning to see him again. “Jaeyoon brought me flowers because they’re pretty. You brought me a flower to say sorry.” She dropped the tulip to her lap, a smile reappearing on her face. “It’s okay, Cheoeum. I forgive you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s smile dropped from his face at Saehyun’s words, and while she still displayed a happy smile on her face, Sanghyuk fought the urge to cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Saehyun I really am sorry,” he confessed, pulling his lips between his teeth as he felt his eyes becoming heavier. He bit his bottom lip when he felt like he was losing control over his emotions. “I can’t say that enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Saehyun confessed with a nod, looking down to the flower again. “You let me see who you are because you’re so sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really am,” Sanghyuk told her again, nodding his head and clasping his hands between his knees. “You almost died because of me, you know that right? I hit your car because I wasn’t paying attention, and you almost died because of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I didn’t,” Saehyun pointed out with a bright smile again, tilting her head. The monitor behind her beeped, but she didn’t even turn to look at the machine. “My dad even came to see me because of what happened. He hasn’t visited in a long time, but he said he was worried so he came to see me,” she confessed, holding the tulip between her hands. “So I forgive you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled in relief, placing his forehead on the railing of the bed as tears began to fall down his cheeks. “Thank you Saehyun,” he whispered through a cracked voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay Cheoeum,” Saehyun told him, gently patting his head with her small hands. She leaned in a bit closer. “I think you should go before my mom comes. She said she would come tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rose to his feet quickly, stumbling around the chair as he put it back in its place, almost tripping over his own feet as he backed away, wiping his tears. “Please don’t tell-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t tell,” Saehyun promised with a giggle, lifting her arm to wave at him as he took another step back. “Just don’t tell Jaeyoon I don’t like his flowers,” she added in a whisper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk spat out a happy laugh at her words, taking another step back. “I won’t. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She waved again. “Bye bye, Cheoeum.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Saehyun. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Present Day]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit!” Inseong called as soon as Sanghyuk walked through the door. He dropped the tray he was holding to the counter without a care, running to the door and throwing his arms around Sanghyuk. “Holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Hyuk. Chanhee told me you got in a car accident. Are you okay?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk laughed a bit, wrapping his arms around Inseong. “I’m fine,” he told him happily, sinking into his chest. “I’m just a bit sore. But I’m okay, really. I heal fast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you the past two days,” Inseong confessed, holding onto him even tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee wouldn’t let me come to work, and Kyun threatened to beat the shit out of me. I had no choice,” Sanghyuk told him with a laugh. “Are… </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Inseong told him, nodding against his head. “I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled into the hug, and the sad part was that he actually believed what Inseong said. Sanghyuk found the picture-for-charity jar and gave it to Inseong to put back up, and he did so with a happy smile. They played music at the cafe, too, dancing around the kitchen and entertaining the customers. It felt like home to Sanghyuk, but he wished he could enjoy it as much as he first had, all the way back in the beginning. That’s where Sanghyuk wanted to go back to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Customers asked Inseong about Jaeyoon, and every single time he had to answer a question he just seemed to lose more and more of his happiness; he even had to excuse himself outside once to take a call from him. He didn’t look happy. Sanghyuk just wanted him to be happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When it came time to close again, Jaeyoon’s car pulled up outside the cafe. Inseong didn’t waste any time shoving the keys in Sanghyuk’s hand, pushing him into the back closet and leaving without him, telling his boyfriend that Sanghyuk had left before him to meet his brother. Sanghyuk bit his lip the whole time, wishing more than anything he could have just flung open the door and screamed at the both of them. It was frustrating for him, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t look very happy the next day, though he tried to be. As always, his happiness was an act. He tried to smile, and tried to joke around with Sanghyuk, but he seemed nervous, constantly bouncing on the heels of his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to ask him all day. He tried to ask him if he was okay in the morning, but Inseong cut him off before he could. He helped him out in the kitchen more than he usually did, but Sanghyuk didn’t comment on it, and instead took over a bit more of the dealing with customers part without even being asked. The silence, however, as they cleaned for closing, was just unbearable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could tell Inseong wanted to say something. Everything he did made it extremely obvious. Usually, he filled the silence to make Sanghyuk think everything was okay, but now it seemed more like he was too busy figuring out how to say something to do that. Sanghyuk really didn’t want to cut him off or force him to say it if he was going to say it on his own, so he waited. And he waited, and waited, and waited. But throughout the entire time, it just turned into neither of them saying anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stuffed his hands in his coat pockets as Inseong locked the door when they were leaving. His breath came out in visible puffs of white in front of him, so he bounced on his feet to warm himself up while he waited for Inseong to finish locking the door. He had to say something. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. He wouldn’t let Inseong have a night to decide he didn’t want to say whatever he had already considered saying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his heart beating in his chest as Inseong walked down the steps toward him. He shoved his own hands in his pockets, hair blowing gently in the wind. Sanghyuk had to ask him now. He had to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong,” he called out, amazed that he had pushed the boy’s name from his mouth. Saying something was hard when he knew the boy didn’t want to talk. But Inseong stopped, turning to him with wide eyes, like he himself realized this was his chance to say something. Sanghyuk swallowed his nerves. “Inseong I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s phone rang out, cutting Sanghyuk off. Inseong jumped to pull it out of his pocket, and Sanghyuk actually lost his cool. He sighed, biting his lip angrily. He wasn’t angry at Inseong, though, he was angry in general. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked to Sanghyuk with wide eyes, holding the phone in his palm. It was gone. Whatever Inseong wanted to say before was long gone, now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head at Inseong, shoving his hands further in his pockets. “Every time,” he found himself mumbling, biting his lip. “Every single time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without another word, he gave Inseong a split second of a forced smile before turning on his heels to walk the other way. He held his head down, blinking away his frustration as he walked. He had wasted his chance. Of course. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned around, for some reason, to look up when Inseong called him. Inseong hadn’t moved from his spot, holding the phone up to show Sanghyuk who was calling. Of course, Sanghyuk already knew who was calling. It wasn’t a surprise, so he didn’t understand why-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong raised his other hand, declining the call while Sanghyuk watched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his eyes grow wide as he watched Inseong turn off his phone, stuffing it in his pocket and pushing his way towards Sanghyuk. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, watching Inseong so confidently walk towards him. He had just declined Jaeyoon’s call. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span> had just declined Jaeyoon’s call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong walked until he was standing right in front of Sanghyuk, his head hanging low, but Sanghyuk couldn’t even bring himself to focus on that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to see my family in Jeongseon this weekend, do you want to come?” Inseong pushed out, the air between the two of them going deadly silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked at him. “Do I… what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong sighed, his shoulder slouching nervously. “I’m seeing my family up in Jeongseon. I’m gonna stay with them for the weekend. They asked me to bring Jaeyoon, but I don’t want to. So I’m asking if you’ll come instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like he wasn’t fully comprehending anything Inseong was saying. “Wouldn’t- wouldn’t Jaeyoon be mad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well technically I never told him he was invited, so he has no reason to be mad,” Inseong confessed quietly, leaving the air between them stiff and quiet again. Inseong wanted Sanghyuk to meet his family. Inseong wanted Sanghyuk to be near him instead of Jaeyoon. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to, I shouldn’t have-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to meet your family,” Sanghyuk cut him off, a gentle smile appearing on his face. Inseong looked up to him with wide eyes, like he didn’t actually expect Sanghyuk to agree. “Seriously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You- you really want to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When do we leave?” Sanghyuk asked, blinking innocently at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Chanhee asked with wide eyes, watching Sanghyuk pack his things into a small duffel. He followed him around the house aimlessly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because, I don’t know, you’re leaving for a weekend, still in pain after a fucking car crash that could have killed you, and directly pissing Jaeyoon off, aren’t you?” Chanhee asked, raising his eyebrows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged. “Jaeyoon was never invited in the first place, so he has no reason to be mad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s Inseong’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span> he has </span>
  <em>
    <span>every</span>
  </em>
  <span> reason to be mad!” Chanhee pointed out, sighing as he followed him. Sanghyuk shrugged again as he grabbed another shirt, folding it quickly before adding it to his duffel. “Hey, look at me!” Chanhee demanded, grabbing Sanghyuk’s shoulders and spinning him around so they were facing each other. “Promise me you know what you’re doing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “When do I ever know what I’m doing?” Chanhee deadpanned him, so Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “Why are you getting so serious about this? It’s just a trip!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask you something serious and you give me a serious answer?” Chanhee asked, releasing his arms from his grip. Sanghyuk rolled his shoulders back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” he agreed, nodding his head. “Go for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you care about Inseong as more than just some mission now,” Chanhee told him. Sanghyuk shrugged, admitting he wasn’t trying to hide that fact. Chanhee nodded, inhaling. “But can you look me in the eyes and tell me you aren’t interested in him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk furrowed his brows. “Of course I’m interested in him he’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Romantically.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s throat tightened at Chanhee’s words, his mind spinning. “Wha- what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you like Inseong romantically?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was sure the following nervous laugh he gave was not very convincing, despite the fact that he had no reason to be nervous. “Why would I- I mean, why would I like him romantically that’s- I mean, come one. When have I ever liked someone like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shrugged. “You haven’t before. That’s why I’m asking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not romantically interested in Inseong,” Sanghyuk assured him, not stuttering over his words this time. He stood with his back straight, making himself taller as if that would help him prove how confident he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So nothing has happened between you two?” Chanhee asked, cocking an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No nothing-” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Except that night Sanghyuk spent at Inseong’s house.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Nothing hap-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You stuttered!” Chanhee called out, stepping back with wide eyes and pointing an accusing finger at him. “You stuttered!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee I didn’t stutter!” Sanghyuk attempted, shaking his head rapidly. He raised his hands to shake them out in front of him, as if that would make anything more convincing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> happen oh my fucking god!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee! Nothing happened, I swear to god!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a fucking liar!” Chanhee accused him, an actual smile appearing on his face as Sanghyuk began to panic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee it was nothing! Nothing happened!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You stuttered!” Chanhee called out at him, still pointing a finger as he began to laugh. “Oh my god I can’t believe this,” he continued, moving his hands to the sides of his head. “You-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> happened!” Sanghyuk assured him, shaking his head as he stepped toward him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just pulled the ultimate villain move.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Chanhee!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re stealing the hero’s man!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’M NOT STEALING INSEONG FROM JAEYOON!” Sanghyuk yelled, shaking his head as Chanhee just continued to laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I support you,” Chanhee attempted in a careful voice, smirking at Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a home wrecker!” Sanghyuk pointed out with a disgusted expression, yet still yelling to get his point across. “Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> a boyfriend! Jaeyoon! Jaeyoon is Inseong’s boyfriend!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that the only thing stopping you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“CHANHEE!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?! It’s a valid question!” Chanhee yelled back with a laugh, his smile spreading across his entire face. “Inseong is a nice guy! I approve!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>fooling around</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Inseong!” Sanghyuk emphasized, only causing Chanhee to crack up in an uproar of laughter, relishing in Sanghyuk’s embarrassed suffering. “We just slept on the same couch! That’s it! And Inseong moved to the couch </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was already settled!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So Inseong is </span>
  <em>
    <span>encouraging </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to be a homewrecker?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really tried not to think about everything Chanhee had said to him as Inseong hummed happily, packing his things in his bag. Sanghyuk had come over when he was told to, but Inseong wasn’t ready yet, so now he was just helping him pack the rest of the clothes he needed. But that was increasingly hard when Chanhee’s words just kept bouncing around his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t fooling around with Inseong. They hadn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>done</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything. They just slept in the same space, but that didn’t mean it was like that. Right? Because, that same night, Inseong had asked him to stay in his bed with him. But that wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That was just for comfort. The whole ‘not feeling alone’ thing. It didn’t mean they were fooling around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Besides, Inseong would never fool around behind Jaeyoon’s back. Inseong wouldn’t risk that. The keeping him hidden from Jaeyoon part seemed a bit suspicious, but it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that at all. There had been absolutely no signs that Inseong was interested in him, because they were friends and Sanghyuk was helping him through a rough time. That’s all it was. They were close because of the situation, and nothing else. Chanhee was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m excited,” Inseong confessed with a small smile, folding another shirt into his bag. “I haven’t seen my parents in a while. My aunts and uncles are gonna visit, too. Maybe my cousins, I don’t know. I’m just excited for the break, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, his cheeks puffing out. “I’m excited to meet them,” he admitted quietly, but Inseong heard it. His smile grew at Sanghyuk’s words. “Hey, what did Jaeyoon say when you told him we were going without him?” he asked out of curiosity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong snorted. “He didn’t mind.” Sanghyuk figured that wasn’t the whole truth, or maybe it was a lie all together, but he didn’t press. “He told us to have fun and come back safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that was nice of him,” Sanghyuk commented absentmindedly, mostly just to play along with it. Inseong nodded in agreement, but didn’t comment further on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong zipped his bag up, stepping back from it with a refreshed breath of air. “Okay, I think that’s everything,” he told him. He turned to face him with a smile. “We should be good to go if you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s head turned at the sound of the doorbell ringing, the two of them going silent. Sanghyuk turned back to face Inseong. “Did you invite someone else?” he asked, turning back to the door as the handle moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head with furrowed brows. “No I-” The door opened, and Inseong froze. Sanghyuk felt his breath hitch in his lungs, every muscle in his body freezing. “Jae- Jaeyoon. Hi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi baby,” Jaeyoon greeted with a smile, closing the door gently behind him. His hair was ruffled and unstyled, and his cheeks glowed a bit red from his natural glow, no makeup on his skin. His smile glowed with kindness as he looked at his boyfriend. Inseong quickly wiped the shock off his face, snapping into a smile. It didn’t feel the same, and yet it looked so real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know you were coming by,” Inseong told him, not moving from his place, but shrinking his shoulders to seem a bit smaller than he was. He still kept that smile up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like he couldn’t breathe, his lungs burning in his chest as Jaeyoon’s eyes flickered to him. He was bare faced in front of Jaeyoon now. No mask. No hiding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came to send you off,” Jaeyoon told him with a smile, walking forward and grabbing Inseong’s hands. Inseong let his hands be grabbed, smiling as Jaeyoon pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’d be a bad boyfriend if I didn’t at least do that, right? Besides, I haven’t met Sanghyuk, yet,” he pointed out with a smile, turning to give all his attention to Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt every muscle straining to keep him there. He didn’t know what to do. What the fuck was he supposed to do?! He couldn’t exactly escape anywhere. He had to stay exactly where he was. It was too late to go anywhere else or make excuses. Even Inseong hadn’t known he was coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon was waiting for him to greet him, but Sanghyuk’s mouth was as dry as sandpaper. He couldn’t speak. If Jaeyoon didn’t already recognize his face, he would recognize his voice. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what happened if he didn’t? Jaeyoon was waiting for him to greet him now, and everything was moving in slow motion in front of him. He had to do something. By the look on his face, he didn’t suspect Sanghyuk at all yet. Was he sweating? He couldn’t tell, but he felt like he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was trapped. Sanghyuk was absolutely fucked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cleared his throat, dipping his head low and offering a shallow bow. He had to say something or Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> become suspicious. He wasn’t yet. Sanghyuk’s only job now was to keep it that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you,” Sanghyuk croaked out quietly, causing Jaeyoon to laugh with a smile. He turned to Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t tell me he was shy, I feel a bit bad showing up like this now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong locked eyes with him, and Sanghyuk didn’t want to say he was pleading for Inseong to help him, but that’s what it felt like. He felt dizzy just from standing in front of Jaeyoon like this, so how much longer would it take before they could just leave?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong turned to Jaeyoon. “I guess that’s why I haven’t introduced you two before now,” Inseong lied, giving Jaeyoon a small smile. “He’s a bit shy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, thanking whatever gods that Inseong could lie well enough to subdue Jaeyoon. This was bad. This was really fucking bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, then I should properly introduce myself,” Jaeyoon decided, walking across the room to stand in front of him. Sanghyuk wanted to take a step back. He wanted to get as far away from Jaeyoon as he could before the boy realized there was something a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> familiar about him. He bowed towards him. “I’m Jaeyoon, Inseong’s boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bowed his head back at him. The less he spoke, the worse this was going to seem for him. But on the other end, speaking could get him caught. Maybe… if he just made his voice sound a bit more cracked than usual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” he introduced, forcing a smile onto his face. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” he lied, his voice a bit heavier by force. Jaeyoon smiled towards him before turning back around to face Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I help you guys carry your bags out to the car?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to launch himself out the window again. This was torture. Did Jaeyoon really not recognize his voice?! It was insane to think that, after everything, Jaeyoon was too stupid not to know his voice when he heard it. If he couldn’t figure it out, Sanghyuk would just have to hope he left before he could hear too much of his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” Inseong agreed with a smile, allowing Jaeyoon to grab his bag for him. Sanghyuk grabbed his own, really not at all interested in letting Jaeyoon touch his bag or do anything nice for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The three of them walked out to the car together, Inseong and Jaeyoon walking in the front and Sanghyuk trailing behind them. He was definitely sweating. He was still panicking from the suspense of having no idea what could happen next. Why did Jaeyoon have to come? Sanghyuk should have expected it to happen eventually, but he wished Jaeyoon could have just stayed away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon put Inseong’s bag in the back seat gently before reaching out for Sanghyuk’s with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Sanghyuk told him, still with a cracked voice, as he smiled and handed Jaeyoon his bag. Jaeyoon took it easily and put it in the backseat with the other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Seongie,” Jaeyoon started, turning towards Inseong. “Do you mind if I talk to Sanghyuk for a second?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt every hopeful thought in him die. He knew. He figured it out. Jaeyoon had </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> figured it out. Of course, Sanghyuk was stupid to ever suspect that he wouldn’t. He was fucked. Sanghyuk was so fucked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong furrowed his brows only slightly at Jaeyoon, looking between him and Sanghyuk. Since Jaeyoon had his back turned, Sanghyuk took the liberty to get out at least some of his nerves by biting his lip. Inseong looked back up to Jaeyoon. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to scream. There was no </span>
  <em>
    <span>specific</span>
  </em>
  <span> reason he wanted to scream, he just did. He wanted to yell at Jaeyoon and kiss the ground under Inseong’s feet and just scream for everything to be over already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean… I’ve never met him before and you’re going away for a whole weekend. You know how nervous I get,” Jaeyoon confessed shyly, turning to Sanghyuk. Fuck. “Sanghyuk, do you mind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no choice. He literally had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> choice. “Not at all,” Sanghyuk told him with a smile, keeping his pitch still a bit lower, just in case. Jaeyoon gestured with his head for Sanghyuk to follow him, and without sparing another glance at Inseong, he did. Jaeyoon brought him all the way back into the house where Inseong couldn’t see them, only increasing Sanghyuk’s anxiety.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He braced himself to be slammed against the wall and threatened. He bit his lip, awaiting the smile from Jaeyoon’s face to fade into a harsh glare. He waited to be caught. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry if this is a bit uncomfortable for you,” Jaeyoon apologized, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he stood in front of Sanghyuk. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Inseong, and I know you’re a good person. You were accused of being Dawon once, weren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could feel his lungs deflating in shocked relief, his nerves building up in the oxygen’s absence. He nervously brought his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I was,” he mumbled, remembering the old rumor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon gave him a reassuring smile. “No worries, Sanghyuk. But… if you don’t mind… can I ask you a favor?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was weird standing in front of Jaeyoon like this, as Sanghyuk and not Dawon. The realization hadn’t hit him until now, that to Jaeyoon he was two completely different people. Jaeyoon really only saw him as Inseong’s friend right now. He wasn’t Dawon. He wasn’t his enemy. He wasn’t the person he fought every month or the person he saved just the other week. He was Sanghyuk. Lee Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk found himself smiling back at Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon, his enemy. The man who he spent most of his years playing around with. The guy who had saved him just the other day. He knew Jaeyoon, and it was insane to think Jaeyoon didn’t recognize him right now. His nerves calmed down, his anxiety dissipating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the favor?” Sanghyuk asked, keeping his voice lower but tilting his head, intrigued to have a conversation with Jaeyoon. Was he pushing it right now to wish for this? To just hope to have a normal interaction with Jaeyoon as Sanghyuk? He didn’t want to be Dawon with him right now. He wanted to be Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was there another universe where they were friendly with each other? No Dawon? No hero? Was that even a possibility? Was Jaeyoon any better in that universe? What would have to change to make that universe a reality? It was too late, but Sanghyuk wondered if, had they had done things differently a long time ago, that was a possibility. Something had happened to Jaeyoon along that path. Along the way, something happened. Everything got fucked up. But standing in front of Jaeyoon now, Sanghyuk really hoped the man wasn’t playing with him. He hoped this was how Jaeyoon really was, despite knowing deep down that even he couldn’t believe that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s about Inseong,” Jaeyoon confessed shyly, the corner of his lips curling up. “He’s been… he’s been going through a rough time lately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… noticed. A bit,” Sanghyuk confessed, playing into it. He wanted so badly to believe Jaeyoon wasn’t the cause of it. Why did he want to believe that so badly? Maybe he was just so tired of playing games. He wanted to just scream out to the world that he was Dawon just to see how Jaeyoon would react then. What would be different?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon nodded, hanging his head. “Listen, Inseong has had a rough battle with depression in his life. I think he’s relapsing, and I know seeing his family will definitely help. He was so excited to invite you, too. Can you please just do me a favor and look out for him for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled at Jaeyoon, just barely. It would never be a reality. Sanghyuk wanted so badly to stop playing games, but it was obvious now that that just wasn’t something that could happen in their reality. It was still just an act. A front. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Depression? What kind of bullshit was that? Yeah, maybe Inseong had it, Sanghyuk wouldn’t have been shocked at this point. But that didn’t explain anything. It didn’t explain the coded phone calls, the rudely exchanged words, the anxiety Inseong had being around him, the Maserati, Anonymous, or anything else. The depression was just an excuse to cover up the surface Sanghyuk had already broken through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even like this, where Sanghyuk was a completely different person, Jaeyoon was lying. He just </span>
  <em>
    <span>kept lying</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do that,” Sanghyuk told him, forcing a smile on his face this time, nodding his head. “I’ll take care of him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Sanghyuk,” Jaeyoon told him with a smile. “I’ll- I’ll walk back out with you. Oh, by the way, did we ever meet before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk raised his eyebrows at him. The lie came so easily to him this time, not a hint of nerves surfacing as he let the lies roll off his tongue just as easily as truths. “I don’t think so, why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You seem a bit familiar,” Jaeyoon confessed, shrugging as he walked back out with Sanghyuk trailing behind him. Inseong leaned against the car, tapping his foot nervously against the ground. He raised his head when he saw the two coming back out, looking between them with another forced smile. So many lies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well you guys should have fun!” Jaeyoon told them, smiling as he looked between the two of them. Inseong looked a bit more uncomfortable than he had before. Jaeyoon seemed to notice. “You’ll call, right?” he asked, turning to Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Inseong told him, a forced smile on his lips. His eyes looked sad. Jaeyoon noticed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Jaeyoon spoke, a content smile on his face. He reached out for Inseong’s chin, holding his head carefully as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Inseong didn’t move towards him, but he didn’t back away. To Sanghyuk, it just looked like Inseong was letting it happen. Jaeyoon pulled away a second later, smiling at Inseong sweetly. “Don’t forget to call.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled, but it was broken. “I won’t,” he agreed, forcing it a bit more before turning to the car. Sanghyuk got into the passenger seat quickly, pulling on his seatbelt with a fake smile, watching as Inseong pulled out of the driveway. He never took his eyes off the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” Inseong spoke, his voice unsteady as he drove, both hands tightly clenched on the wheel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... yeah?” Sanghyuk asked carefully, feeling how sad Inseong was just from how he looked. He didn’t let his lips touch, grimacing to hold himself together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any mints?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded. “Yeah,” he told him quickly, reaching behind the seats to grab the container of them. He pulled them back into the front seats, watching from the corner of his eyes as Inseong removed his hand from the wheel, rubbing his shaking fingers over his lips. He rubbed at them, then rubbed at them with the back of his hand, his fingers shaking unsteadily as he tried to rub it all away. He still didn’t take his eyes off the road. Sanghyuk swallowed. “How many do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong wiped at his lips again before holding his hand out. “A lot.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Here With Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>[This Chapter takes place at the same time as the last chapter]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have never been more happy in my life to not smell a hospital,” Youngkyun groaned, smiling as he took in the smell of their house. It didn’t exactly smell as inviting as their previous home would have, but it smelt faintly of Taeyang, so it felt more welcoming than anywhere else in the world to him right now. Youngkyun kicked off his shoes at the door, letting his toes curl around the hardwood floor beneath him. “Tae, I’m so happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t go crazy,” Taeyang warned him with a laugh, hastily kicking off his own shoes before moving over to Youngkyun’s side. He wrapped his hand gently around Youngkyun’s side, looking down at him with a loving smile. “You’re still on leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pouted. “I don’t want to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s only been four weeks, you’re lucky they let you come home this early,” Taeyang reminded him, moving his free hand to gently bop Youngkyun’s nose with a giddy smile. “Come on, let’s get you fed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re babying me,” Youngkyun pointed out with a pout. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang smiled proudly. “That’s because you’re my baby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun made a slight gesture of puking before allowing Taeyang to carry him over to the dining room table. Taeyang sat him down there, looking over to the kitchen. Youngkyun smirked, laying back gently in the chair. His whole body was in pain from walking and not sitting for so long, but he didn’t say anything. It was just soreness. He really would say anything if the pain got any worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll cook dinner tonight. Please just sit there and don’t move,” Taeyang begged with puppy eyes. Youngkyun smirked, placing his hands on the surface of the table. “I know that look,” Taeyang denied immediately, shaking his head. “Stop giving me that look.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you gonna make me stay sitting?” Youngkyun challenged, looking over to Taeyang with a devilish smile. “The nurses aren’t here to yell at me anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, you’re going to rip open your internal stitching and strain your body if you move too much,” Taeyang warned him, walking over to the chair. He didn’t bend down to Youngkyun’s level just to give himself the illusion of appearing so much taller. It would have worked if Youngkyun was even slightly intimidated by him. He wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One kiss?” Youngkyun bargained, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head to the side with a tiny smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang sighed, a small smile appearing on his face. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>One</span>
  </em>
  <span> kiss,” he agreed, emphasizing that this was all Youngkyun would get before he started dinner. Youngkyun nodded, reaching up and cupping the side of Taeyang’s face. Taeyang leaned down, pressing their lips together. He pressed a little harder into the kiss, gently biting Taeyang’s lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Really </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kyun?!” Taeyang asked, eyes wide as he pulled away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pouted, sinking back down in his chair. “It’s been four weeks since you’ve even </span>
  <em>
    <span>touched</span>
  </em>
  <span> me!” he defended, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I mean we haven’t even kissed for more than three seconds for four weeks because you’re afraid I’m gonna break! Taeyang… please I’m suffering here,” he continued to whine, sinking down further and further into his chair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, stop doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Taeyang told him with a roll of his eyes and an entertained smile, grabbing Youngkyun gently by the arms and pulling him back up to a regular sitting position. He crouched down, tilting his head right in front of Youngkyun while he continued to pout. “There, see? I touched you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really fucking hate you,” Youngkyun told him with a pout. He didn’t lift the expression, but Taeyang only smiled even bigger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you do. But Kyun, you’re still recovering.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Recovering </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucks</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun spat, whining even more when Taeyang pushed his chair in to stop him from sinking down in it again. “Taeyang!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many fucking drugs did they put you on before we checked you out? Seriously!” Taeyang wondered out loud with a laugh, grabbing a towel as he made his way back over towards the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not on drugs! I’m feeling neglected by my husband!” Youngkyun reminded him, still crossing his arms over his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, I’m cooking you dinner! I just brought you home from the hospital!” Taeyang defended with a laugh, grabbing a pan from the cabinet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Says my husband who won’t even kiss me,” Youngkyun mumbled with a pout, turning his head away. He heard footsteps approaching him from the kitchen, but refused to turn his head. “No, you can’t just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang’s fingers pressed lightly under Youngkyun’s jaw, turning his head to face him and cutting him off. Taeyang pressed their lips together, leaning into Youngkyun and holding himself up on the chair. He pressed his lips deeper against Youngkyun’s, letting his hands slide down to Youngkyun’s neck. Lastly, he let his teeth graze over Youngkyun’s lip before pulling away. He didn’t seem so affected by it, simply raising an eyebrow in Youngkyun’s direction. “Happy now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Extremely,” Youngkyun admitted, smiling and tilting his head. “Do it again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m cooking dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang!” Youngkyun whined again, letting his head fall back against the backing of the chair. “You’re going to be the death of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang rolled his eyes, brushing Youngkyun’s hair back away from his forehead and leaning down to plant a tiny kiss there. “No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are going to be the death of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He kissed Youngkyun’s forehead one more time before pulling back, walking back over to the kitchen. “Please stop whining while I cook you food. If I’m cooking food I can’t give you 100% of my attention, and you whining makes me think you’re gonna throw yourself out of the chair just to be dramatic,” Taeyang confessed with a pleading smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pouted again. “Fine, but only because you’re making me food.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah whatever, you’re okay, I guess,” Youngkyun whined with a pout, still crossing his arms over his chest. Taeyang smiled at him before making his way back to the kitchen. “I love you, too, Tae.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Taeyang confessed happily, turning on the stove and grabbing the ingredients to make whatever he had planned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as Youngkyun loved Taeyang, though, he wasn’t allowed to do much of anything at home. He knew it was literally the doctor’s orders, but he still felt pouty at Taeyang for babying him so much. Taeyang helped him walk everywhere, didn’t let him clean up his own dishes, helped him change, and forbade him from getting up, since Taeyang could get up to get him anything he needed. Youngkyun wanted to get up to get a glass of water just to spite him for not letting him do anything. And come to think of it, maybe Youngkyun </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> still drugged up. He was a chaotic human at nature, but the more he thought about it, he had never been </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> whiny before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang pulled him up to bed quickly once he showed a single sign that he was tired. He carried him all the way up the stairs to their room, leaving him on the bed while he went to get their clothes so they could change. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey… Taeyang,” Youngkyun mumbled, just staring down at the ground completely immersed in his thoughts. “You still want to adopt, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Of course,” Taeyang assured him with a laugh, bringing the clothes over to the side of the bed and smiling at him. He raised his hand, rubbing his thumb over Youngkyun’s cheek. “Why wouldn’t I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged. “Everything is still hard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is always gonna be hard,” Taeyang told him gently, leaning his weight on his palm flat on the bed as he leaned closer to him. “Hasn’t it always been hard?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We had a good few years where it wasn’t so hard,” Youngkyun pointed out, finally turning his head to meet Taeyang’s eyes. Their faces were so close, but Youngkyun could still see the faint smile on Taeyang’s lips. He copied it without hesitation. “Do you think we can get a few more years like that after all this is over? Maybe enough to create a family?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think so,” Taeyang admitted, his cheeks rising as his smile grew. “Don’t you think we’ve earned it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled again, too, raising his hand and cupping Taeyang’s face, gently rubbing his thumb over his cheek. “I hope so,” he mumbled, trying not to think about everything he had done in between. It had been hard, but he hadn’t really handled the whole situation well, had he? “I’m just worried about not being a good parent,” he confessed quietly. “What if our kid doesn’t like the house? What if they get confused when they call out dad because there’s two of us and- oh my god they're gonna call us dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang laughed, falling back on the bed with his hands folded over his stomach. “Kyun, you’re going to be an amazing dad,” he assured him, tilting his head with a smile. Youngkyun turned over his shoulder to see it. “If anyone is going to be an incredible dad, it’s you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun lowered himself to the bed carefully, laying by Taeyang’s side and staring up at the ceiling. “Only because you’re here with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang smiled, scooching closer to Youngkyun and cuddling against his side. “I’m happy to have you here with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise?” Youngkyun asked, raising his hand and sticking out his pinky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang giggled, raising his hand and hooking their pinkies together. “I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> you’re gonna be okay on your own?” Taeyang asked again, raising his eyebrows at Youngkyun, just waiting for him to tell him he wouldn’t be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun gave him a gentle smile. “Tae, I’ll be fine. You have to work! It’s not like you can just take a few days off, you have to run the company.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll shut the whole company down for the day if you want me to stay,” Taeyang told him again, pulling his phone out of his pocket and showing it off. “I’ll call them right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, go to work,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh, gesturing to the couch setup he had. “I’m fine to get up and walk around a little bit, and my therapist said I should be doing that anyways. I won’t strain myself, I’ll be fine. Go work, and don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang pouted, looking around his setup. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure,” Youngkyun confirmed, nodding and giving Taeyang a reassuring smile. He looked hesitant to leave, so Youngkyun added something else. “It’s just like staying at the hospital all day, only I don’t have a nurse pestering me every other hour.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang bit his lip. “Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolutely</span>
  </em>
  <span> sure?” he asked again, tilting his head with sad eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tae, I promise I’m fine. I’ll call you if I need you to come home, okay?” Youngkyun told him, lying through his teeth. Taeyang knew it, too, because Youngkyun would absolutely not call Taeyang under any circumstance, and he knew that. He would be more likely to call Chanhee or Sanghyuk, but Taeyang knew that too. Youngkyun would be fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Taeyang mumbled, pulling his lips in between his teeth as he grabbed his case from the table. He clenched his fingers around it, looking back at Youngkyun worriedly. “Okay,” he mumbled again, walking over to Youngkyun and cupping his face with his free hand, pressing their lips together. “I’ll be home after work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you, Tae,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, waving him off as he went. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too,” Taeyang called back, waving again as he left. “Bye!” he added, closing the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sat up a bit higher, watching through the windows as he walked down to the driveway, unlocking his car and getting in it. He watched Taeyang pull out, driving away. “Bye…” he mumbled, a smile pulling at his lips as he threw the blanket on his lap off his body. He pushed it off to the ground, swinging his feet over the edge of the couch and pulling himself slowly to his feet. He grabbed the TV remote quickly, throwing on the first pay-per-view movie that looked appealing to him, leaving it on the TV and muting the volume. Just in case Taeyang didn’t believe he had relaxed all day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabbed his phone off the table, dialing the number as he made his way over to his office. He held his phone between his ear and shoulder as he made his way to his office and opened the door, sitting down at the chair behind his desk and opening a drawer of files. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The line clicked, triggering Youngkyun’s sly smirk. “Juho, you got out of the hospital a while ago, right? Wanna come over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, I thought you’d never ask.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho was knocking at his door in the next thirty minutes. Youngkyun opened the door happily for him, letting him inside and bringing him over into his office. Juho didn’t hesitate to follow him, trailing slowly behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, are you sure you should be walking like this?” he asked, furrowing his brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged. “The doctor said a bit of unstrained movement was good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay but you clearly have no plans of settling down,” Juho pointed out, causing Youngkyun to giggle a bit. He just shrugged again using the desk to lower himself to the floor. Juho followed suit, sitting down in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? I’m settled down now,” he pointed out, reaching back and grabbing a file of papers from his desk. “Okay, so I have a theory.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A theory?” Juho asked, raising his eyebrows. “Didn’t you just get home? How do you already have a theory?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun snorted. “What else do you think I thought about at the hospital the whole time?” he asked, placing his hands on his knees. “So I have one suspect. Someone I think could actually be Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho’s eyes went wide. “I thought the bank accounts were a dead end?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged again. “They were. I used my brain power for this one,” he admitted, reaching up to tap the side of his head with the tip of his fingers. “This is my theory. Anonymous </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be someone close to him, right? Well, the more I think about it, who is closer to him than Xang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I swear to god if you accuse me I’m gonna-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not accusing you!” Youngkyun told him with a laugh, swatting the file of papers at him playfully. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> accusing someone who works for my company, though. You know him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh great, this should be fun,” Juho mumbled, voice dripping with unamused sarcasm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and listen to me,” Youngkyun told him, placing his hands on his legs again. “Anonymous has to be close to him, right? Someone who has immediate access to him. I didn’t even think about this before, but every body Manseok killed and hid was dropped at an Xang property. Anonymous had knowledge of the properties and areas </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely</span>
  </em>
  <span> well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho pursed his lips. “That’s… actually yeah, how </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> we think of that before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So my conclusion is that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anonymous had ties to Xang. </span>
  <em>
    <span>However</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anonymous has to be someone who supported Jaeyoon before Xang did, right? So they have to be someone who either had a high paying position at Xang early on, or a better job before coming to work for the company. This is the only logical way they could afford to support Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So a management position?” Juho asked, putting the pieces together in his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly!” Youngkyun told him, clapping his hands together and pointing a finger at him. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking. So, who knew all the properties the best, went to all the crime scenes, and had access to records and people that most other employees wouldn’t have?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho’s lips drew apart, his eyes lingering around the room before landing on Youngkyun. “Daniel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bingo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho sputtered, looking up at him with wide eyes. “But- I mean- you don’t really think </span>
  <em>
    <span>Daniel</span>
  </em>
  <span> did all of that, do you?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit his lip, shrugging. “Juho… I don’t know what anyone is capable of anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Juho asked, furrowing his brows. Youngkyun sighed, scooting forward to sit facing Juho. Juho eyes him curiously, but didn’t cut him off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A couple months back, I started noticing some things that just seemed a bit </span>
  <em>
    <span>off</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Jaeyoon,” he began, using his hands and flailing them around as he explained it. He explained it all to Juho. He told him about Jaeyoon lying to him at the party, finding Inseong in the closet, and even Inseong telling him he didn’t love Jaeyoon. He told him about telling Taeyang everything, and how he recruited Sanghyuk to help him find Manseok when he was killing people. He told him about Manseok confessing that he worked under Anonymous, and his ‘theories’ about who was really pulling all of Dawon’s tricks lately. Juho listened the whole time, never interrupting him. He leaned forward at certain parts, furrowed his brows at others, and even looked like he wanted to cut Youngkyun off. But he never did. Juho listened to every single word he said, taking it all in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Youngkyun finished explaining it all, he was sprawled out across the floor, just staring up at the ceiling. Juho copied his position by his side, hands folded on his stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you get why I’m looking into Anonymous, now?” Youngkyun asked after he had finished explaining, not even daring to check how much time he had wasted. He turned his head to see Juho who still stared blankly up at the ceiling. “I don’t trust him. And- this is just my theory, but I think Jaeyoon knows what Anonymous is doing,” he added, remembering Sanghyuk’s words after the car crash. “It would explain why Inseong acts like he does around him, if Inseong knew, too, and disagreed. I don’t know. Everything is so uncertain right now. All I know is that finding Anonymous will at least clear some things up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho nodded, staring blankly with no real target. “Do you want to know a secret?” Juho asked, turning to face him. Youngkyun lifted his eyebrows as a gesture for him to continue. Juho licked his lips. “I’ve never trusted Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed himself up slowly, his eyes never leaving Juho. “You… </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never trusted him,” Juho repeated, turning to meet Youngkyun’s eyes. “Explain this to me,” he started. “How does Dawon manage to get away every single time, even when he’s just a human? Him and Jaeyoon meet in private all the time to fight, right,? But Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t know who he is. The car crash the other day, Dawon didn’t even have his mask on but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> got away. Jaeyoon can’t take him down even after he possibly attempted to kill you guys? What about that seems normal to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, nodding slightly. “It doesn’t,” he admitted. Of course, Juho didn’t know what he knew. Jaeyoon had more chances than any of them could count, and had even saved Sanghyuk from being caught. They worked together to get everyone out of the building at the charity event, and Jaeyoon even had a way of contacting him. Youngkyun couldn’t say any of that, of course, but it all contributed. None of it was right. None of it had </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> been right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never really trusted him </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> his image,” Juho confessed, folding his hands into his lap as he pushed himself to a sitting position. He turned to Youngkyun, a slight smile on his face. “You say you think he knows what Anonymous is doing? I think you’re probably right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t breathe. He never imagined Juho would agree with him like this. He never imagined </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> would believe what he said that wasn’t already involved. Even </span>
  <em>
    <span>Taeyang</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t really believe it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much of this does Taeyang know?” Juho asked quietly, sending a shiver over Youngkyun’s skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Some of it,” he confessed in an equally quiet voice. “He knows about Inseong possibly being abused, and that Anonymous was probably ordering those people to be killed. It’s just bits and pieces, though. He doesn’t know about how bitter Inseong acts toward Jaeyoon when nobody is looking. He doesn’t believe Anonymous is doing the things that don’t seem normal for Dawon to be doing, lately. He doesn’t know we suspect Jaeyoon knows what Anonymous is doing. He doesn’t have any of the connecting pieces. I’m- I’m scared to tell him, to be honest. He doesn’t tell Jaeyoon any of it because he promised me he wouldn’t, but I can tell he doesn’t believe it. Juho, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>idolizes</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon is one of his best friends and his hero, and I know he’s trying to stay neutral for me, but he just doesn’t believe any of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you called me over here after he left for work?” Juho asked, tilting his head. “Because you’re still looking into it even when he told you not to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want him to know I’m looking into it anymore,” Youngkyun decided, meeting his eyes. “I don’t want to take the risk of ruining anything in case I’m wrong. From now on, I’ll work on it when he’s at work. I don’t want him to know I’m still looking into it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Juho told him gently, offering him a smile. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> looking into it,” he corrected, lifting his hand. Youngkyun couldn’t help but smile, grabbing his hand with a strong grip and pulling it down, like making a pact. His smile spread all the way across his face, and he couldn’t stop it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, someone was believing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think Daniel has ever met Jaeyoon, though,” Juho confessed, his fingers curling over the fence as he watched the man from a distance. He was working with the employees at the site for now, just doing his job. “Doesn’t that not fit the criteria?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just because we didn’t see it happen, doesn’t mean it didn’t,” Youngkyun reminded him, also peering over the wall. “Daniel was at almost every single site when people started going missing, and he fits the timeline of when he could donate to Jaeyoon perfectly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t just watch him from here,” Juho told him, looking back to him instead of over the fence. “We’ll get nothing out of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what do you want to do?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do you want to go in and question him? Let’s ask him outright if he’s Anonymous, that’s a good idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho pouted, glancing back at Daniel. Slowly, his pout changed into a sly smirk. “I have an idea,” he mumbled, turning back to Youngkyun. “I just need a suit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged. “Okay, we can go back to my house and get changed. But why do you need a suit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just trust me,” Juho told him, grabbing his wrist and leading him gently back to his car. Youngkyun made sure to give Juho the suit he thought would fit him proportionally the best, hoping that it wasn’t obvious it wasn’t his suit. Youngkyun didn’t want to make it seem borrowed, especially because Juho was still neglecting to tell him any parts of his plan. He pulled a tie around his neck, tying it and securing it under his collar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Juho asked if Youngkyun had any ear pieces. Youngkyun furrowed his brows at Juho, asking why on earth he would have earpieces. Juho didn’t really give him a reason, instead telling him to hand them over. Youngkyun did so with a pout, marching into his office and pulling out the set of ear pieces he had hidden in his desk. As he gave them to Juho, he told the boy not to ask why he had them. He didn’t seem to care, to be honest. In truth, though, Youngkyun still had them from when he and Sanghyuk went to catch Manseok. He had just never given the set back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho drove the two of them all the way back to the site Daniel was working at, parking the car a bit down the street and suggesting they walk. They walked slowly, and Youngkyun was thankful for that. As much as he pretended he wasn’t in a serious amount of pain, he hadn’t taken any pain meds this morning and his whole body was burning with pain. His abdomen was sore from simply breathing, never mind constantly walking around and being active, the exact opposite of what he was supposed to be doing right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay here,” Juho instructed, holding Youngkyun’s shoulders in place outside of the site, hidden in between two buildings. “Try not to get mugged, and don’t get caught.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, I’m not going in with you?” Youngkyun asked, furrowing his brows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho gave him an unamused look, gesturing to his outfit. “Kyun, you’re wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. No you’re not going in with me.” Youngkyun pouted, crossing his arms over his chest with a defeated ‘fine,’ watching as Juho walking away. He kept his posture professional as he made his way towards the site, letting himself in and greeting people he recognized as he walked by. Even as he walked away, Youngkyun could still hear him greeting people through the earpiece he was wearing. Youngkyun only worried a little bit that he still had no idea what the plan was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned his back against the wall, breathing out in as even breathes as he could manage. Slowly, he lowered himself to the ground, surrendering to a sitting position. It would be worth it. Whatever pain he was in right now, it would be worth it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pouted as he continued to breathe evenly, focusing himself on easing the pain. How unfair was it that he was barely going 70 km/hr when he hit another car head on, and yet Sanghyuk was speeding on the expressway and got rammed into by a car going just as equally fast, and barely came out with any trouble? Of course, the boy’s body had been beyond sore, and his head was pounding horribly, as he explained. But nothing was broken. Other than a minor concussion, assumed, of course, since he refused to go to a hospital, and some bruises and cuts, he was fine. And yet Youngkyun was stuck with internal bleeding, surgery, and a six week recovery period. It was bullshit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hi, Daniel!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Juho introduced, Youngkyun’s attention becoming alert as he listened intently through the earpiece. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Juho, hey. You’re not with Seokwoo? I thought you two always worked as a pair?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Youngkyun heard Daniel reply, his voice laced with an amused laugh at the site of only Juho in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, about that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Juho began, his voice steady and confident. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not here for Xang today, I’m here for Jaeyoon.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Last time I checked, you didn’t work for Jaeyoon,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Daniel replied, his voice a bit cleared now that he was closer to Juho, and therefore the microphone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon’s dealing with a lot of shit right now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Juho explained. Youngkyun was left to wonder exactly where this plan was leading. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Seokwoo is focusing on the shit that just happened a few days ago. He’s got reports to deal with, the police, investigators, and of course, insurance since he destroyed his car in the process. It’s a lot to handle</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Daniel said with a small chuckle, the sound of a door being opened following his voice. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I haven’t seen him in many interviews lately. Is it because he’s dealing with all that?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Pretty much</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Juho admitted. The thing was, so far all Juho was doing was telling the truth. Seokwoo was absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>swamped</span>
  </em>
  <span> from helping Jaeyoon through personal legal cases, and it made perfect sense that Juho would have jumped in to help if Jaeyoon needed a second legal person to help handle things, except for the fact that Juho still hadn’t returned to work yet. He hadn’t officially been allowed to, due to the hospital’s orders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So I assume you’re here as Seokwoo’s replacement?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Daniel asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho chuckled. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not his </span>
  </em>
  <span>replacement</span>
  <em>
    <span>, I’m just the extra hand Jaeyoon hired since it was a lot to handle. I’m Seokwoo’s partner, so it made sense to ask me for help.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>And yet, you’re here at Xang?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Daniel asked, the sound of chair legs sliding against the ground following his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>People are still wondering about Manseok’s involvement,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Juho lied. Nobody had cared about Manseok for a while now. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>So I’m here just to clear a few things up.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Man, how am I still involved in this shit?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Daniel asked, his voice sounding a bit peeved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m supposed to be here going over the state of properties, blah blah blah,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Juho told him, trailing off. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>But instead, I want to go over your personal finances.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun furrowed his brows, listening in on the conversation. What the fuck was Juho doing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why my finances? Why is that any of your business?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The police haven’t done anything about it yet, but on the downlow, the Manseok case is still an ongoing investigation. They have intel that he worked for someone. All of this is coming from Jaeyoon, by the way. He found evidence that Manseok was anonymously donated to. Well, maybe ‘donated to’ is the wrong term. Paid. Manseok was paid for what he did, so the next step is figuring out who paid him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait- wait you’re not accusing me, right? Because-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I never said I was accusing you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Juho told him strictly, bringing a sly smirk to Youngkyun’s face. That’s exactly what they were doing. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>But since Manseok worked around Xang properties, it’s valid to assume the guy above him is in some way related to Xang. Jaeyoon figures he was trying to screw the company over. Our only next valid assumption is that someone paid Manseok directly from Xang finances, someone working for Xang paid through personal finances, or money was stolen from company or personal finances. I’ve already informed Youngkyun, so he can check company finance records with Taeyang, but right now I’m focusing on the managers working at Xang. We want to cross check your financial accounts, just to make sure nothing was stolen. If you don’t want to give me permission, you don’t have to, I’m just warning you how suspicious that sounds. I can come back with a warrant, later, if you’d prefer.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Do you mind if I just call Youngkyun first?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Daniel asked, his voice a bit faded. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Not that I don’t trust you, just that the situation is iffy.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Be my guest,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Juho invited. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was quick to pull out his phone, staring down at it and waiting for the call. “Juho, you’re a fucking genius,” he spoke into his microphone, watching as his phone lit up with the call. He let it ring out once before answering it, lifting the device to his free ear. Daniel asked him if what Juho was doing was something he was aware of, and with a smile he informed Daniel that he was perfectly aware of the situation. He did, however, ask for Daniel to keep the situation on the downlow. Since the investigation wasn’t completely open for the public yet, he requested that Daniel cooperate and not spread around information. This was solely to prevent Taeyang from finding out anything he was doing right now, because Taeyang would be positively </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Not only was he out of the house, not recovering, not telling him about what he was looking into, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> accusing people he knew, but he was also using Juho and lying about a whole legal situation. The cops weren’t interested in shit to do with Manseok anymore. There was no investigation. Even Taeyang was aware of that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel agreed to cooperate, giving Juho complete access to his financial records. Juho’s plan was brilliant. By looking through Juho’s finances, he would be able to check if Daniel had ever made donations before to anyone. He could check bank accounts and funds he worked with. In the span of maybe an hour, they would know for sure whether or not Daniel had ever donated to Jaeyoon, or any other accounts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Juho looked, though, Youngkyun could tell they had no luck. He wasn’t exactly sure why he felt so upset to know that. It wasn’t like he wanted Daniel to be a bad person. He didn’t want to think Daniel would try and kill him and Taeyang, or work with Jaeyoon. He really didn’t, and he was glad it wasn’t Daniel. But that still meant they had no idea who Anonymous was. They were no closer to an answer than they were before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can go through and check with the other managers, too?” Juho offered, approaching him as he left the site. Youngkyun smiled, pulling his earpiece out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to,” he agreed. “Just under the radar, please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t let Taeyang find out,” Juho told him with a sad smile, grabbing Youngkyun’s hand to pull him back up to his feet. It seemed Juho had the same unnecessary disappointment that Youngkyun was feeling. “But Daniel is clean. He donated to a few charity organizations, but I know those ones well. He’s not Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” Youngkyun told him, letting the finely dressed boy lead him back to the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho sighed, nodding. “Me too, on some level.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho brought him home after that, and when they arrived, he folded his hands in front of him. “I’ll keep looking until we have more suspects,” Juho told him, looking up with a sad smile. “Let me know if you find anything else, or think of anyone else who it could be. I’m sorry your one suspect didn’t work out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged. “That’s okay. It was a long shot. Rest for the rest of the day, since you’ve worked hard,” he told him, placing a hand on the doorknob behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too,” Juho told him, getting into his car and watching as Youngkyun entered his house before leaving. Youngkyun peered through the window as he pulled out of the driveway, driving away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun suppressed a content smile that attempted to build onto his lips. His body still burned with pain, but the accomplished feeling he had in his chest, and the hope for his next attempt to work out, masked it completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once the car was completely gone from view leaving Youngkyun in a still silence, he finally revealed his smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good thing Daniel wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> my only suspect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pulled the black mask up a little higher on his face, readjusting the straps hooking around his ears. The longer he waited, the more impatient he was getting. Every cell in his body was burning with pain and suspense, not to mention the underlying feeling that he would be caught. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ducked down behind a bush as he saw the taller man walk out, closing the door to his house behind him. Youngkyun’s hand wrapped around his stomach, forcing himself to ignore the slight twinge of pain. He peeked his head up over the rim of the bush, watching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo was talking on the phone, barely even looking up from his feet as he unlocked his car remotely, starting it up. Youngkyun ducked down a little further, not daring to move even a single muscle until he had pulled out of his driveway and left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long. Seokwoo started up the engine quickly, driving away while still speaking into his phone call. Within a minute, he was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun breathed out a small sigh, looking up to the man’s house. This was so wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself to his feet anyways. He pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head, pulling it tightly around the edges of his face as he walked up to the door. He didn’t let any detail of himself be seen all the way up to the steps of the front door. He kept his head down as he climbed them, and when he got to the door, he pulled a leather glove out of his pocket. He pulled it on over his hand, quickly pressing in the code to unlock the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was wrong. He knew it was wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed down on the handle of the door, letting himself inside carefully. For whatever reason, he didn’t even bother to open the door completely before sliding himself in, as if anyone else would be in the building to see him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The house was drenched in darkness, but Youngkyun didn’t bother turning on a light. He walked around in the darkness, observing every detail he possibly could. It was a cozy apartment, but much closer to the style of his old house. The decor made a statement about how much money Seokwoo had, and yet it wasn’t flashy. It was elegant and neat. It didn’t shock Youngkyun to find out Seokwoo’s home style was more poised and clean, considering how neat his desk at work always was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quickly, he made his way further into the house. He shouldn’t be doing this. What was wrong with him? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his thoughts away, walking further into the house. He kept his arms close to his sides like if even his shirt sleeve brushed up against something he would be caught. He walked slowly, taking everything in around him, even though half of everything he looked at was drenched in complete darkness. He didn’t dare pull the shades away from the windows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole situation made him wonder why he was even doing this. He obviously didn’t feel comfortable here, and yet he seemed to feel a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> comfortable breaking into somebody else’s house. Had Sanghyuk rubbed off on him that much? Could he even say it was Sanghyuk’s fault at this point? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all, Youngkyun was the one that was constantly lying. He had told Juho just earlier today that they would work on this together, and yet here he was breaking into Juho’s best friend’s house without even telling him. He was lying to Juho </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Taeyang. Sanghyuk and Chanhee didn’t know. Inseong had no idea, and Youngkyun was lying to him a great deal about how much he knew anyways. And on top of that, Youngkyun kept a strong face around Jaeyoon, another lie. Lie after lie after lie after lie. Did that not make him a bad person already if breaking into Seokwoo’s house was currently topping the cake? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head again, as if brushing the thoughts away could vanish them. He moved his gloved hand to the door handle of the first closed door he found, pressing down on it and letting the door swing itself open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was his bedroom. The king sized bed sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by things that all meant something to Seokwoo. Youngkyun let himself in, taking the whole room in. There were neatly folded paper cranes scattered across his bedside table, paper mache planets hanging from strings on his ceiling, and navy blue silk sheets hanging off his bed, all crumpled up and unmade. It was childish, but cute. The room looked like it belonged to some rich guy’s treasured son, but it was so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seokwoo</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun reached his hand back carefully, tapping the lightswitch with the tip of his finger and triggering the lights to illuminate the room. His eyes were immediately drawn to the back wall, covered in pictures from top to bottom. He found himself drifting over to it without even consciously thinking about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first picture he saw, eye level to himself, was one of him with his parents as a kid. Above that, him in middle school with a few of his classmates. Next to it was one of him in high school, sitting on the bleachers with a group of friends. He had his arm hooked around Juho’s shoulders, both of them laughing with crinkled eyes and exposed teeth. There was a picture of him and Juho out at a cafe together, and another one of them dressed in fancy suits, still high school aged, holding out finger guns with their backs pressed together. There were more recent ones, too. One of them was a selfie of Seokwoo next to a sleeping Juho. Youngkyun recognized the background as his office. One picture showed the two of them standing outside their law firm, arms around each other with huge smiles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were pictures from their graduation, their jobs together, their outings as friends, and sleepovers. Some of them were group shots with Taeyang and himself, all of them laughing and having fun together. Another picture showed Taeyang walking, looking so content, with Youngkyun asleep hanging over his back. One of them was a selfie of Youngkyun and Seokwoo at a bar together, Youngbin leaning in to photobomb it with a silly expression. There were quite a few of those ones actually. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there were some of him and Jaeyoon together, too. Of course, Seokwoo was more than just Jaeyoon’s personal legal advisor, he was his friend. There were pictures of them together at the office, pictures of them at special publicity or charity events, and even backstage at shows Seokwoo had gone to support him on. They both looked so happy in all of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun took a step forward, eyes focusing on one specific picture. It had been taken from a third party, showing Seokwoo, Jaeyoon, and Taeyang all sitting together at a restaurant. Taeyang had his head cradled in his hands, the tips of his ears red and his enormous smile visible through his fingers. Seokwoo had his head tilted back, cheeks burning red from laughing. His mouth was open in the picture, lips pulled back in a happy laugh. Jaeyoon sat next to Taeyang, across the table from Seokwoo. His smile was much more contained, but his teeth still poked through it and his eyes still wrinkled from laughing. His eyes glossed over with disbelief, Youngkyun guessed, but he was still clearly laughing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What had gone so wrong? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When had everything stopped being like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, pulling himself away from the pictures. Sometimes it was just so hard to remember Jaeyoon was lying, too, especially when he started mixing all of his friends into the issue. Did lying make Jaeyoon a bad person? If it did, what did that make Youngkyun?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned off the lights carefully, letting himself out of the man’s bedroom and closing the door gently behind himself. He quickly moved on to Seokwoo’s office, trying to shake the mental image of all his friends smiling together. It wasn’t like that anymore. Nothing was the same anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened the door just as gently as he had opened every other one, letting himself in and carefully turning on the lights. He closed the door behind him, turning around as he looked over the room. This room was much more professional, painted and designed perfectly for focusing on work. But Youngkyun had to imagine it was somewhat lonely for him. He made his way over to the boy’s desk, eyes scanning the plethora of papers neatly stacked in organized piles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reached down with a still gloved hand, opening a small compartment in the base of the desk, revealing a jackpot of files. One of them had to have something to do with Jaeyoon, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he looked. He looked into the files one by one, taking out any manila folders he thought might have anything to do with Jaeyoon, making sure to keep every single paper in the exact order he had found it in. He put them back neatly, not a centimeter out of place. He never took two things out at once, and put everything back exactly where he had found it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Youngkyun pulled out another folder. This one was labelled “Jaeyoon’s Projects” which no doubt caught Youngkyun’s interest. What caught his interest even more, though, was the fact that the folder was not in alphabetical order. It was in the back of the cabinet. He pulled the folder onto his lap quickly, opening it and gently grabbing the first paper out of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun thought maybe “Jaeyoon’s Projects” would refer to legal issues Seokwoo had helped him settle or charity projects Seokwoo was keeping track of for him. Youngkyun did not expect to open the folder to see a background check on Inseong. The paper was dated in October, three months after him and Jaeyoon had announced they were a couple. Why was Seokwoo doing a background check on Inseong? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun reached to grab another paper from the folder, every muscle in his body freezing in place as his ears twitched. The front door was opening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was moving before he could fully register anything, placing the background check back in the folder and replacing it in the back of the cabinet. He closed the drawer and moved over to the lights. He flipped them off quickly, stepping back from the door. He held his breath, not daring to breathe as he heard the door close behind whoever had walked in. He took another step back, his foot sliding back slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’re okay to be here for a few?” he heard Seokwoo ask, his voice growing slightly louder. Youngkyun panicked, looking around the office quickly. The footsteps grew louder, so he did the only thing he could think of to do. He shoved himself in the closet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he closed the door to the closet in front of him, he heard the door to the office creaking open, the lights coming on. Youngkyun lifted his hands to his mouth, covering it as if the mask wasn’t enough. His lungs felt like they were burning from holding his breath with his muscles so on edge, and his body was definitely not enjoying the tensed stance he held. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun will be okay for a few more minutes. I won’t stay for long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt like, without even releasing his breath, his lungs had gone completely empty. His fingers curled tighter around his mouth, holding himself still. Taeyang was with Seokwoo now, coming home way before he had told Youngkyun he would. And Youngkyun wasn’t home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should text him, just so he knows,” suggested another voice. Youngkyun felt the blood drain from his face, his skin going cold as a dark shiver traveled over every inch of his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’ll surprise him instead,” Taeyang decided, pacing around the room. “I want to convince myself he’s resting anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun? Resting? You have to be kidding me,” Seokwoo replied with a laugh, followed by the sound of the cushion of his desk chair sinking in under his weight. “Taeyang, whatever you think he’s doing, he’s definitely not doing. That boy </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> rests.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit his lip. He really wanted Seokwoo to shut the fuck up before Taeyang actually caught onto the fact that he could not possibly be more right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you were able to keep him in the hospital for four weeks,” Jaeyoon told Taeyang with a laugh. “I expected him to break out or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So am I,” Taeyang agreed, sighing afterwards. Youngkyun felt his heart sink in his chest at the sound. “Guys I’m just… this is so stressful. Everything is so stressful right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should take a break, too,” Jaeyoon suggested, moving somewhere around the room. Youngkyun had no idea. Maybe if he could focus hard enough for the sound of blood rushing through his ears to stop, he would actually be able to tell, but as of right now he couldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A break? Funny,” Taeyang replied with a sarcastic snort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious,” Jaeyoon told him in a gentle voice. “Everything is really hard right now, for you and Kyun especially. Maybe you should-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> rest right now!” Taeyang exploded. Youngkyun actually flinched at it. He didn’t expect Taeyang to be so stressed right now. Youngkyun couldn’t even imagine what was stressing him out so much to explode like that. How could Youngkyun not know he felt this stressed?! Taeyang seemed to be pacing around the room, but Youngkyun really couldn’t tell. “This is the second time Youngkyun has almost died! What if it happens again?! If I take a break now I might as well just be letting it happen!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his eyes fill with tears a bit as he listened to Taeyang’s voice rip apart, scratching from the stress of yelling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon and I are still working on it!” Seokwoo reminded him, though Youngkyun had no idea what </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> was. Seokwoo wasn’t rough with his voice, but he did seem to be really trying to get Taeyang to listen to him. “You can-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do shit, and that’s the problem,” Taeyang spat at them, pacing around the room more. Youngkyun felt his heart pounding in his chest, his head feeling a bit dizzy as black spots threatened to poke at his vision. “It’s been weeks now, and none of us really have any leads. How can you expect me to stop now?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to stop, just take a break for a day or two!” Seokwoo told him, his voice a bit louder and assertive this time. “Tae, you need to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to do shit until we figure out who Dawon is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s chest felt like it was caving in hearing Taeyang’s words. His fingers fell loose from around his mouth, but he could do anything but let his eyes fill with tears as he struggled to remember which way he was even facing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, we’re working on it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust me</span>
  </em>
  <span> we’re working on it,” Jaeyoon told him, his voice gentle and soft. “But you being too stressed to even focus at work isn’t helping anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s right,” Seokwoo agreed quietly. “Tae, I get it. Finding out who Dawon is is insanely important. We all know it is. Stopping Dawon means stopping everything. It’ll mean Youngkyun is safe. Tae, I get it. We both do. But you won’t be finding shit in this state.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips, trying to blink away the tears as he curled his fingers tightly into his palms. Taeyang was looking for Dawon. Just like Youngkyun was looking for Anonymous, Taeyang was looking for Dawon. Of course Taeyang never really believed him. It was the same way Youngkyun worked with Sanghyuk and Chanhee to find Anonymous, knowing it would put an end to everything. Taeyang didn’t know what he knew. Taeyang didn’t believe him. So instead he was looking for Dawon to put an end to everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The more Youngkyun thought about how he knew who Dawon was, he wondered if Taeyang knew who Anonymous was. But Taeyang would have told him something like that, right? If Seokwoo was Anonymous, Taeyang surely would have said something. Unless Youngkyun had scared him out of it by accusing him… just like Taeyang had done with Dawon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang hadn’t told him. But then again, Youngkyun hadn’t told </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we please just focus on the bank accounts Dawon has used before? He had to have made a mistake somewhere. Please,” Taeyang begged in a soft voice, seemingly ending the argument. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit his lip, sliding his phone out of his pocket. He turned the brightness down immediately, opening his messages. He needed to get out. He needed to get home. He needed to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled up Youngbin’s contact quickly, having no idea who else he could possible ask for help right now, and types his message into the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[</span>
  <em>
    <span>I need help</span>
  </em>
  <span>]</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Mask</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stepped out of the car, his lungs instantly filling with cool fresh air. His entire chest expanded as he soaked in the rays of the sun, not even noticing as he spun around to take everything in. Trees stood tall above him, towering into the sky but casting no shadow over him. Their leaves had long since fallen and they were left looking grey and faded. But it wasn’t ugly. The grass, matted to the ground in a paler green, and in some spots orangish brown, gave the whole area a more faded tone. It wasn’t bleek. It was toned down. Sanghyuk liked that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wind blew past the trees, bitter cold and nipping at Sanghyuk’s exposed cheeks. He couldn’t even bring it in himself to care, his lips curling into a smile at the sight of the area. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s parents lived in a small cabin hidden in the trees. It was made of dark, old wood, but stood tall and strong like it was freshly built just a year or two before. Smoke gently rose from the chimney, filling the cloud covered sky with puffs and wisps of grey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard the car door close behind him, pulling his attention from the cabin to look back at Inseong, who had an apprehensive look on his face. His hand rubbed nervously at his arm through his coat, the fingers of his other hand curled tightly around his backpack which he had kept with him out of the trunk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s not a lot,” Inseong began, but Sanghyuk didn’t dare let him continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so excited,” he mumbled with the happiest smile he could manage. It was a real smile because he really was that happy. He moved slowly around the bumper of the car to get closer to Inseong, still keeping the smile on his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever stayed with a family like this before,” he rambled, staring down at his hands as he talked, too shy to actually make eye contact with Inseong for some reason. “I was always taking care of Chanhee. Neither Taeyang or Youngkyun had families I was welcome to stay with, either, and I never did the whole foster home thing. This is… the first time I’ve ever met someone’s family like this,” he confessed, blinking at his own realization. He finally looked up to meet Inseong’s eyes. “Thank you for inviting me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong moved quickly, pulling the straps of his backpack over his shoulders and letting it rest on his back before sliding his arms over Sanghyuk’s shoulders, pulling him into his chest. Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to pull his arms around Inseong’s waist, laying his head on his shoulder. Inseong didn’t move for a moment, not explaining why he did it or why he was still doing it, but Sanghyuk couldn’t really find it in himself to care that much. He was just happy to be hugging Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for coming,” Inseong whispered gently, finally pulling back with a small smile grazing his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled back at him before moving over to the trunk, grabbing most of the rest of their bags while Inseong grabbed the few he left for him, both of them making their way up towards the front door of the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to be confident next to Inseong. He wanted to feel brave to face a family he had never met before, especially when Inseong seemed so apprehensive to face them himself. His steps fell slightly behind Sanghyuk’s, letting him take the lead by only a few centimeters. He held his bags cautiously in front of him like a small shield, and despite his height he appeared smaller than usual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Again, Sanghyuk wanted to be confident, if not for himself then for him. But he didn’t feel confident. What if Inseong’s family didn’t like him? Were they expecting Jaeyoon instead? What if they didn’t want Inseong bringing anyone in the first place? What if they got the wrong idea? What if Sanghyuk fucked up and made a mistake and embarrassed himself? What if Sanghyuk just wasn’t good enough?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door was opening before either boy had a chance to knock on it, which made Sanghyuk immensely glad since he wasn’t sure if either of them actually had any plans of knocking. A woman opened the door quickly, pushing it out of her way with a bright smile and a yell of excitement, running outside as quickly as she could without even grabbing a coat. She threw her arms around Inseong, who stumbled with a bit of a dazed look, dropping his bags to return the hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseongie!” she cheered loudly, her smile consuming her entire face as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, holding Inseong in her arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi mom,” Inseong whispered, falling into her hug with a content smile, his arms folding completely around her smaller frame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“INSEONG?!” came a childish yell from inside, quickly following the arrival of a wide eyed little girl. She looked to be around ten years old, her hair up in pigtails with overalls hanging off her shoulders. Her lips parted in surprise when she saw Inseong, her whole body freezing. Another small child ran over to her, much younger and much slower since he carried a small teddy bear with him. He looked up to the girl with a slightly confused expression, but the girl didn’t even seem to notice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled at the girl over his mom’s shoulder, lips peeling back to reveal his teeth. He pulled away from his mom quickly, and the girl didn’t hesitate to run towards him, jumping up into his arms and barely giving him enough of a warning to catch her. She wrapped her arms around Inseong’s neck while he struggled to hold her up, opting instead to lower himself to her level so she could stand, but even then she refused to let go of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you!” she cried, holding onto him even tighter. Inseong giggled as his mom laughed. Her gaze fell to Sanghyuk next, who, up to this point, had sort of been standing off to the side a bit awkwardly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s neck scrunched into his shoulders, any confidence he had quickly fading. He didn’t know how to interact with a family like this. He wanted to be calm and collected, but he had never experienced anything like this before. He licked his lips nervously, doing his best to compose himself. “Hi,” he introduced, which was a good start. He felt his fingers digging into his palms. “I’m Sanghyuk, Inseong’s friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Inseong, you didn’t tell us you were bringing a friend!” she told him, looking down at him as he finally managed to separate himself from the little girl. He smiled sheepishly up at his mother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Surprise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother rolled her eyes, turning to face Sanghyuk, but he cut her off quickly. “Is it okay if we move inside first?” he asked, wincing as he realized he sounded a bit rude. “You don’t have a coat on, and neither does she,” he explained hurriedly, gesturing towards the little girl. “I don’t want you to get cold and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had no idea what to do when Inseong’s mother let out a roar of a laugh, turning to Inseong. “He’s so sweet!” she told him happily, smiling widely at him. “Of course, of course! Come in and we can do introductions after!” she told them, placing her hand on Sanghyuk’s shoulder, ushering him inside. “Oh dear, you two must be so cold.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong closed the front door once everyone was inside, smiling around the familiar cabin. The lights hanging from the ceiling drenched it in a warm glow. Everything inside radiated an immediate cozy feeling, like a warm air was just surrounding every bit of Sanghyuk and comforting him. Not to mention, it smelled like warm bread. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom, this is Sanghyuk,” Inseong finally introduced properly, gesturing to him. Sanghyuk bowed towards Inseong’s mother as politely as he could. Inseong gave him a smile. “He works with me at the cafe now. He’s like my best friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s heart felt warm at the words, so much so that he couldn’t help a tint of pink rising to his cheeks hearing the words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you ma’am,” Sanghyuk told her kindly. “Thank you for letting me come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mother laughed again, turning to face Inseong. “Oh boy, Inseongie dear, where did you find him?” She turned to Sanghyuk. “Sanghyuk, you are welcome to stay with us for as long as you’d like. And please call me ‘mom’ or ‘mother’ while you’re here, oh my goodness,” she finished with a small laugh, reaching for a few of the bags and carrying them further into the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The little girl followed her quickly while Sanghyuk let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Inseong turned to him quickly, worry filling his eyes. “Please tell me if it gets overwhelming for you,” Inseong told him immediately, looking him over. “You don’t even have to call her that if you don’t want to. Seriously. If you’ve changed your mind and you don’t want to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, cutting off Inseong’s words. He could do this. There was no reason he couldn’t handle something as simple as this. It was custom to call his friend’s parents by ‘mom’, but he just wasn’t used to it since his friends really didn’t have moms. Inseong did, though, and Sanghyuk was more than capable of handling himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s nice,” Sanghyuk assured Inseong, trying his best not to seem completely at a loss for what to do. He was Seoul’s biggest bad guy, and yet he couldn’t handle a little family interaction? That was laughable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Inseong mumbled softly, nodding his head a bit as he said it, leading Sanghyuk further into the main room of the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently, a large portion of Inseong’s family had decided to stay the weekend at the Kim's house since Inseong was staying. Sanghyuk felt himself smiling at the idea that they all wanted to see him so badly, thinking of it as endearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had already met Inseong’s mom, but within minutes he found out how amazing of a baker she was. She had made sweet pastries for their arrival which Sanghyuk had been forced to try out of politeness, not that he would have declined one anyways. They were incredible, to say the least, and Sanghyuk quickly realized how Inseong had learned to bake so well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He met Inseong’s dad next. He was a kind hearted man, Sanghyuk could tell. He smiled at Sanghyuk and exchanged a few words with him, smiling and laughing at a few jokes that were thrown around by the crowd of people in the sitting room. He also preferred to be called ‘father’ or any other variant of that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found out the little girl was named Nari. She was Inseong’s favorite cousin, as she put it. Her little brother had been the boy carrying the teddy bear, and his name was Chol. Sanghyuk thought they were adorable, to be honest. Sanghyuk hadn’t had many harmless interactions with kids, but he really hoped this would be one of them. Chol couldn’t stop staring at him. He hoped it was because the boy liked him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their mother, Inseong’s mom’s sister and Inseong’s aunt, was very loud, but not in an ear aching way. Her laugh filled the entire room as her body flung back onto the couch as if to make a point. She spoke loudly, but kindly at the same time. She spoke a lot, too, but so did Sanghyuk when he was with Chanhee, so he could relate to that. She said everything on her mind, even going so far as to point out how uncomfortable Sanghyuk looked around the group and insisting he take a seat and relax. She commented that he looked like he had never spent time with a family before. Inseong, Sanghyuk assumed, had made some sort of gesture from behind him to tell her to knock it off, but Sanghyuk just laughed it off and agreed to sit. They didn’t know and they didn’t need to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The aunt’s husband came in afterwards, clearly waking up from a nap. The second he laid eyes on Inseong, his face lit up. He ran forward, pulling Inseong into a bear hug and yelling excitedly. Inseong laughed quietly, like he had seemed to do for most of the time they were here already, as he returned the hug to the best of his ability. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s other aunt, this time from his father’s side, was quieter, but mentioned how nice it was to see Inseong. He gave her a warm hug, and Inseong seemed to appreciate the softness of it more than anything. Her daughter, a 15 year old girl named Eunhee, was staring at Inseong the whole time, holding her tongue. Eventually, during a lull, she blurted out a question about Jaeyoon. The aunt had smacked her over the head with a magazine lightly and scolded her for being rude. Eunhee had pouted, Inseong had laughed, and the question remained unanswered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk had never felt more out of place yet welcome in his life. He wasn’t used to having a family. The closest thing he had to that was Youngkyun, Taeyang, and Chanhee, but that was drastically different. They were all the same age, went to school together, and shared similar problems. They fought all the time and almost never made up, yet they were always on good terms. There were lines that could be crossed, but it took a lot to get there. Those lines, though, never had anything to do with respect. It was always touchy subjects like their past and the lives they had lived so far. They stayed together to breathe away those troubles like breath dissipating in the cold air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s family was nothing like that. There were kids running around, still being lectured by parents about what to do. The family shared jokes back and forth for no other reason than to share jokes. They hung out because they enjoyed each other’s company. Sanghyuk was expected to address them as his own family, despite the fact that he had only just met them. It was a completely different concept of family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk viewed family as the people he loved and cared about, while Inseong’s family considered it to be blood. Yet, Inseong’s family still all loved and cared about each other. It was so weird to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While the family talked and shared stories, Inseong leaned cautiously over to Sanghyuk. “Are you sure this is okay?” he whispered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cracked a smile, not even turning to look at him. “It’s more than okay,” he promised, watching the family with adoration as they conversed. He loved it. He wanted to be a part of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So how’s the cafe been?” the uncle asked, leaning his elbow on his leg and turning to the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Business has been crazy,” Inseong confessed with a short laugh. “But I’ve seen a lot of good reviews on our pastries lately, too. Mom! Everyone really likes your macaroon recipe,” he called towards the kitchen where his mother promptly returned with a tray of snacking foods. She placed it down in the center of the crowd of people, waving for them all to grab what they pleased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’d you two end up working together?” Inseong’s dad asked, not even looking up at them as he was too immersed in the sight of the treats in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I thought hiring was hard because of the fame,” his aunt commented, smacking the dad’s hand away from the tray and grabbing a snack for herself. “I never heard the story.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been so long,” Inseong admitted with a light laugh, turning to face Sanghyuk. “I don’t even remember. We met at the park and you didn’t even know who I was, then a few days later you came into the cafe to tell me you found out,” Inseong explained to him instead of his family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head in disagreement. “I met you again at the park before then. We met twice, I think, before I came to find you at the cafe,” he explained, turning to Inseong’s family. “The cafe was so busy and he was working all by himself. He was too busy arguing with me that he didn’t hear his oven timer go off and almost burnt his macaroons, but I saved them. So he offered to pay me to work for the day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you just took the job?” Inseong’s dad asked, being slapped lightly on the arm by his sister since his mouth was still full of food. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk scrunched up his shoulders shyly. “Yeah, I guess.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom, you should see us working in the cafe together,” Inseong insisted, turning with an excited smile towards his mom. “Remember how we used to bake when I was a kid, and we would run around the kitchen and have so much fun? It’s like that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I showed her the pictures from a fansite’s webpage,” Eunhee spoke up, bouncing her leg as she reached for another treat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong furrowed his brows at her. “Fansite? You mean one of Jaeyoon’s?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eunhee nodded, taking a bite. “Yeah. He started working with you a few weeks after the announcement, so people were still really interested. There’s a bunch of cute pictures of you two working the cafe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong snorted, shaking his head. “Why would Jaeyoon’s fansites be following me?” he asked rhetorically, reaching forward for a treat. He grabbed one for Sanghyuk too, handing it to him without even knowing if he wanted one or not. Sanghyuk thanked him quietly with a smile before biting into it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is Jaeyoon, by the way?” one of his aunts spoke up, sending an uncomfortable shiver around the room. Inseong definitely felt it more than anyone. His hands folded in his lap, jaw contorting in deep thought as he tried to think of an excuse he clearly didn’t have. “I thought you’d bring Jaeyoon by to meet us before you’d bring a friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, confidence filling his chest as he saw how uncomfortable Inseong was at the sudden question. “He had work to do with Xang,” Sanghyuk lied, shrugging. “Do you know Taeyang? Well, he told me they’re working together to really crack down on finding Dawon since his husband is so hurt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every word of that lie stung Sanghyuk as he spoke it. The whole thing was bullshit, but it stung anyways. He had just basically made it seem like Dawon had done all of those things. Sanghyuk didn’t know what was worse: him saying that or him not batting an eye while doing it. Dawon was the bad guy, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon didn’t do it,” Nari spoke up, shaking her head. “Absolutely not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his tongue, instantly regretting bringing up Dawon. Why did he bring up such a controversial topic like this? He fucked up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon kidnapped Inseong, so fuck-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Language,” Inseong’s mom warned her brother in law. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hold any grudges,” Inseong told them quickly, his voice as smooth as a stream of water, yet as gentle as the tips of a feather. “I’ve told you guys that before. I don’t think he did it, either, Nari.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See!” Nari exclaimed loudly, jumping up from her seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s boyfriend having a different opinion than him on Dawon? Spicy,” Eunhee decided, earning a glare from her mother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong stuttered, searching for words he didn’t seem to have. Sanghyuk jumped in before he could mess something up. “I guess we won’t know what Dawon did and didn’t do until it’s all revealed,” he spoke up, dragging everyone’s attention to him. He was mentally kicking himself in the ass already for what he was about to say. “But we can all trust that Jaeyoon will reveal the truth, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The family agreed with him and quickly changed subjects, going into some conversation about another relative of the family that was living in a different district. While they talked amongst themselves, Sanghyuk found his hand moving to hold Inseong’s. It was only for a fraction of a second, and it was only to send him the subtle message that he didn’t mean what he said. It wasn’t really something that needed to be clarified, but Sanghyuk felt uncomfortable leaving it as it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was calm for a while until it came time for the house to settle down for the night. Nari and Chol had been sent to bed a while ago, and Eunhee had gone upstairs a while ago claiming she was tired, but was more likely sitting in bed on her phone. There was only a problem because so many family members were staying at the house. Nari and Chol were staying in the guest room with their parents. Obviously, Inseong’s parents would keep their room. Eunhee was upstairs in the same room as Nari and Chol for now, but her and her mom would be staying on the couches down in the living room for the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That left Inseong’s room. For just the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong, clearly, had no problem with it, and insisted that it was perfectly alright with him. Sanghyuk had also, after being questioned by Inseong’s mother, attested that he was completely fine with it. Inseong’s mom was the one that wasn’t okay with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Jaeyoon? Is he okay with this?” she bugged, waving her hands around. “Inseong you need to call your boyfriend and make sure he’s okay with it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom, Jaeyoon will be fine with it, trust me,” Inseong tried to convince her, but it wasn’t working. It was more than obvious Inseong just wanted to escape upstairs already, but his mom just wouldn’t let him. She was adamant that he called Jaeyoon in front of her so she had proof. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like he wasn’t allowed to say anything unless spoken to in this situation. He could feel how uncomfortable Inseong was with the idea of calling him just by the way his posture shrunk at the mere mention of his boyfriend’s name. And Sanghyuk really didn’t want Inseong to have any contact with Jaeyoon this weekend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was ready to go to hell and back to make sure Inseong stayed happy this weekend, and if that included making one of the stupidest moves in his life, that was fine with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Inseong and his mom more or less argued about the situation, Sanghyuk pulled out his phone. He typed in the familiar number, not that it should have been familiar to him, before putting the phone on speaker phone. Neither Inseong or his mom even noticed Sanghyuk had made a phone call.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voice had caught Inseong so off guard his voice tightened, his head whipping around to the phone with wide eyes. He licked his lips before composing himself, but Sanghyuk couldn’t get that image out of his mind. What the hell was Jaeyoon doing to have Inseong so scared like that? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Jaeyoon, it’s Sanghyuk,” he spoke into the phone, remembering to pitch his voice enough to not sound completely like his normal self, but also not to appear like he was changing his voice on purpose. It was hard and he hated doing it. There was, however, a very simple way to avoid having to do that: not calling Jaeyoon on the phone. That had been his first mistake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Sanghyuk. Is everything okay?” he asked quickly, his voice filling with concern. Sanghyuk, without standing in front of him, couldn’t actually tell if it was faked or not. He risked a glance up at Inseong, who was staring down at the phone like he wanted to smash it to pieces. If he had to guess, he would have said faked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” he assured the man. “It’s just that the place is absolutely crowded with Inseong’s family. For sleeping arrangements, we figured Inseong and I sleeping in the same room would be the most convenient, but we just wanted to check and make sure you were okay with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what? Yeah, go ahead,” Jaeyoon responded easily, his voice fading into a lighthearted response. “No worries. Am I on speaker?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk regretted it now, definitely. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong? I love you. Sleep well!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong cleared his throat, all eyes shifting in his direction. “You too,” he mumbled, quickly turning away to walk up to his room. He didn’t even bother looking happy about his boyfriend calling, which definitely caused a bit of confusion for his mother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk told him before hanging up, thanking Inseong’s mom one more time for letting him stay before following Inseong up to his room. He hurried after the boy, pulling his bag into the room and quickly closing the door behind himself. “Inseong I’m so sorry,” he apologized immediately, turning towards the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head like he was shaking away any emotions he had. “Why are you sorry?” he asked, blinking at Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked back at him, stunned. Inseong was upset, so why wasn’t he showing it? Within seconds, Inseong had managed to compose himself enough to hide everything he was feeling. If Sanghyuk was a stranger, or even someone close to him who didn’t know what he knew, he would think nothing was wrong. Inseong’s acting was getting better when he had the strength to hold up his face. It was his mask. But unlike Sanghyuk’s mask, built from plastic and his own deflated ego, Inseong’s was built from lies and crude acting. Inseong’s was covering up more than an identity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Knock it off,” Sanghyuk found himself saying, walking up to Inseong without hesitation and wrapping his arms around him. Inseong’s body went rigid, like he wasn’t really sure what to do. “I know you’re upset so… you can take off your mask when you’re around me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I’m-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited for Inseong to finish what he was saying, hearing the tiny crack in his voice. It was a weak spot in his mask, and Sanghyuk wanted nothing more than to rip it apart at the seams. He wanted Inseong to be honest with him. He was so tired of dealing with all the lies and fake smiles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine. Really.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s not what Sanghyuk heard. What Sanghyuk heard sounded something more like ‘no, I can’t.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked himself awake gently, his eyes wincing at the light from the sun streaming in through the open windows. He felt warm as he brought himself back to a state of being partially awake, but the soft fabric of the sheets convinced him there was really no need to be fully awake. The devil on his shoulder won him over, dragging his eyes closed again and letting his head sink back into the pillow. He shifted a bit where he laid, getting comfy again. He didn’t care if he would be late for something, or if Chanhee would nag him for sleeping in so late. He was just really comfy and really tired. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A soft mumble came from behind Sanghyuk’s ear, sifting behind him to also get a more comfortable position. The weight over Sanghyuk’s hip shifted a bit before resting further up his waist. And before Sanghyuk’s eyes could snap open in realization that he wasn’t at home, Inseong’s nose was buried in the crook of his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tried not to tense up as his eyes snapped open. He wasn’t in his room with Chanhee. He was in Inseong’s room with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And Inseong was </span>
  <em>
    <span>spooning</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could feel Inseong’s gentle breaths on the back of his neck, his arm curled softly around his body. His chest was pressed into Sanghyuk’s back, their legs tangled together in a mess under the sheets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, no this wasn’t supposed to happen. Jaeyoon had said it was fine for them to share a room, but Sanghyuk knew for a fact that probably didn’t include spooning in the same bed. Even after claiming he was fine with sharing the room, Sanghyuk had still insisted he take the floor. In fact, when had he even gotten into bed with Inseong?! His bed wasn’t exactly big enough for two people who weren’t intending on ending up completely mixed up in each other’s embraces for an entire night. He couldn’t remember agreeing to sleep in the same bed, either. He was sure Inseong didn’t have the strength to move him to his bed without him noticing, so he must have agreed at some point, but when?! When had Sanghyuk, in whatever delirious state he was in, thought sharing a bed with Inseong would be a good idea? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But this was fine, right? This was fine. Inseong was just cuddling. They were spooning. But that was fine. People who weren’t romantically involved spooned all the time, right? That was a normal friends thing? Friends usually ended up sleeping in the same beds with their legs tangled together and their arms around each other’s waists. That was normal. That was just normal for normal people, and totally wasn’t at all romantic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee was really getting to Sanghyuk’s head now. Sanghyuk wasn’t stealing Inseong from Jaeyoon. Sanghyuk wasn’t making any moves on him. It was all on accident. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But even if it was just on accident, this was a bit much. And Sanghyuk knew that. He sighed, realizing his comfiness came at a price he wasn’t willing to pay. Inseong had a boyfriend, and it wasn’t him. Sanghyuk had absolutely no reason to end up like this with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong,” Sanghyuk whispered, trying to get him to wake up. “Inseong, wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Inseong mumbled, pulling Sanghyuk even closer to him. Sanghyuk held his breath, sighing as his head sunk deeper into the pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong, I’m Sanghyuk, not Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Inseong replied lazily, burying his head even deeper into the crook of Sanghyuk’s neck. He seemed too calm and aware of the fact that he was so intimately entwined with Sanghyuk, meanwhile a horrible blush was creeping its way up Sanghyuk’s cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Inseong didn’t want to cuddle with Jaeyoon. Though they were dating, and Sanghyuk couldn’t explain it, he knew Inseong didn’t want to be like this with him. But that didn’t mean Inseong should have wanted to be like this with him either. Because Inseong and Jaeyoon were a couple so Inseong should have been doing this stuff with Jaeyoon, not him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unless…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck!” Inseong yelled, jumping away from Sanghyuk quickly enough to shoot himself off the other side of the bed. Sanghyuk pushed himself up quickly, spinning around to lean over the edge of the bed with wide eyes, staring down at Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked like an absolute disaster. His hair stuck up in literally every direction possible while his eyes looked up at Sanghyuk like they would pop out of his head. His lips parted and refused to close and his face glowed red like he had just run a marathon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Sanghyuk asked, blinking at him. “What did you do that for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You- I- and I- I mean- uhm. I just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deep breathes, Inseong,” Sanghyuk coached him, gesturing with his hands for Inseong to breathe before losing his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong swallowed whatever words he had planned to say, biting his lip. “I-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk waited. He waited for an explanation of why Inseong literally just dove out of the bed. But it didn’t come. At least, it didn’t come honestly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought- I… I thought… you were… Jaeyoon,” Inseong mumbled, his entire expression of shock fading into a much more saddened look towards the ground. “Sorry I- I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry. I’m gonna go clean up in the bathrooms,” he rambled quickly, pushing himself off the floor quicker than Sanghyuk could reach out for him and making his way towards the door. He was gone in seconds, leaving Sanghyuk not only confused but frustrated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to bring it up to Inseong again at some point, but just like every other time Sanghyuk ever wanted to bring something up, Inseong put on his mask and made it impossible for Sanghyuk to even approach the subject. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two boys offered to help Inseong’s mother with breakfast, but it wasn’t the right time to bring it up since his mom was in the room with them. Inseong ended up putting on some upbeat music, dancing happily around the kitchen as he baked. Sanghyuk didn’t want to admit it, but he knew it was true. </span>
  <span>Inseong’s mask was getting better. It was getting so solid that, if it hadn’t been for Inseong’s disastrous appearance and excuse this morning, he really would believe he was happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Sanghyuk was beginning to lose track of what was Inseong’s real happiness and what was just the product of his lies. His mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really wanted this to be a relaxing weekend, but the more the day progressed the more Sanghyuk worried. Inseong wasn’t dropping his act. Even when they were back at the cafe working, Inseong had weak moments where his smile dropped. It was times when he thought nobody was looking, but Sanghyuk was always looking. It was just like that now, except Inseong really wasn’t letting it drop. He ignored everything that happened that morning despite Sanghyuk’s constant questioning glances. He didn’t acknowledge it and instead wore his smile like it would save him from everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That worried Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The day was relaxing, overall. The family had declared a Mancala challenge to everyone, claiming that Inseong’s mom and himself were the champions of the game. The two aunts went against each other first, then the uncle and Eunhee. Inseong and his dad went against each other while Sanghyuk played against Inseong’s mom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk realized two things from this game. The first thing he learned was that Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mancala. His smile was genuine, or so Sanghyuk guessed. Honestly it was becoming increasingly difficult to tell the difference as Inseong learned to hold himself up with his mask better. But to be honest, his determination to win and play against his family seemed genuine. The second thing he learned was that he absolutely sucked at Mancala. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong played against Eunhee next while Inseong’s mom played against one of the aunts. And lastly, Inseong played against his mom. Everyone crowded around them as they played. Sanghyuk honestly didn’t get the competitiveness of the game, so Eunhee, who seemed to be able to just read his confusion from him like words off a book page, explained the tradition of playing the game. Apparently it went really far back into the history of the family, but Sanghyuk still couldn’t wrap his head around it. All he knew was that Inseong won. Inseong didn’t seem to be willing to let Sanghyuk forget that, bringing it up about every hour how he had won Mancala. He acted like he was trying to impress Sanghyuk while he just stared at him in an unamused fashion. Their dynamic made the family break out into constant giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong and his mom had helped make sandwiches for lunch. He handed them out with a happy smile, but Sanghyuk worried it wasn’t real. He knew Inseong too well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While they ate, they sat around in the dining room and chatted. The conversation, without any prompting, seemed to turn in Jaeyoon’s direction. Sanghyuk felt his stomach twist in knots when Inseong answered the questions so easily, not even flinching. He felt worried and sick listening to Inseong so easily talk about Jaeyoon. He gave the story about how they met, talked about the event Dawon had shown up at, and even mentioned the day Jaeyoon worked the cafe with him. Of course, all of these were prompted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t hesitate to say it all with a smile. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk struggled to keep the concern from showing to his whole family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was definitely wrong for Inseong to keep his mask up that strongly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At some point, Eunhee had suggested watching Parasite, so the three of them had settled down to watch the movie. About an hour into it, Inseong’s phone rang. Sanghyuk bit his lip at the familiar ringtone, watching as Inseong excused himself with a happy smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I have to go to the bathroom. Can you pause it since Inseong is on the phone anyways?” Sanghyuk asked, to which Eunhee easily nodded and paused the movie. Sanghyuk didn’t go to the bathroom. He followed Inseong to the front door and stood against the wall, listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s too soon,” Inseong spoke into the phone. Sanghyuk cursed at himself, realizing he could only hear Inseong’s end of the conversation. “Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he heard Inseong beg, his voice raspy and tired. “I’m so- I just- no! Jaeyoon I just want to have a nice weekend. Did you have to call me? Really? Was this so important?” There was a silent moment in the call as Inseong listened. “You’ve made it crystal clear what will happen if I don’t, so no worries there,” Inseong spat bitterly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his stomach twisting into terrible knots as he walked away from the door, making his way back out to the living room. Inseong came back in a few moments later, grabbing the blanket the two of them shared and instructing Eunhee to start playing the movie again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t shake the dread that tugged at his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It happened again at dinner when Inseong got a text, replying to it under the table. Sanghyuk wanted to look down and read his text, but he knew with the whole family near him, he couldn’t risk looking like he was trying to read Inseong’s texts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet Inseong’s smile never faltered. His happy expression never dropped and his demeanor never shifted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt absolutely sick to his stomach by the time night fell. He couldn’t be more ready to head up to bed with Inseong, not faltering as he closed the door behind them after saying goodnight to everyone. He turned to Inseong quickly, giving him a pointed look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong licked his lips before furrowing his brows. “Why would you think anything is-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk found himself begging, stepping towards Inseong with a weak voice. “Please don’t lie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it again. His smile finally dropped from his face. “Then don’t ask.” Inseong moved his hand up to rub nervously at the back of his neck, his entire mood shifting. “About last night… sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk mumbled immediately. Inseong had done it. He had shifted the conversation and gotten away with it. He had given Sanghyuk his answer as three simple words and not given him a chance to pry for more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t sleep decently that night, but then again, he didn’t suspect Inseong was really sleeping peacefully either. Inseong mumbled a few words in his sleep, shifting around a bit. Sanghyuk didn’t dare wake him, rather he just stared up at the ceiling and listened. He didn’t even flinch when Inseong mumbled “Dawon” as he shifted again. Sanghyuk’s gaze hardened at the ceiling, waiting for more. Wasn’t it so pathetic to think the only way he would ever even have a chance of knowing anything was if Inseong was asleep?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt terribly guilty about letting Inseong go on like that after hearing the word “help” escape softly from his lips. Without another second to think, Sanghyuk shifted in the bed, wrapping his arm around Inseong’s waist. He fell into what Sanghyuk could only assume was an empty sleep at that point. Was that better for Inseong? Sanghyuk had the feeling that an empty mind was better than both nightmares and real life for him alike. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was woken up the next morning by Inseong shifting out of bed, mumbling under his breath a bit. He decided to play the role of still being asleep as he listened to Inseong quickly fix himself up before heading out of the room to brush his teeth and meet the rest of the family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, sinking down into the bed. Out of all the time he had lost in fights to Jaeyoon, this was the time he felt, more than any of the others, like he was losing. He raised his hands up to run his fingers tiredly through his hair, pulling at its roots to release any amount of his stress. Without any luck, he pulled himself out of bed and headed downstairs to meet with the rest of the family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day went exactly the same as the day before had, and Sanghyuk was growing increasingly frustrated and worried. He couldn’t pull himself or his thoughts together, he just knew he was overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s mom walked into the sitting room, dragging Sanghyuk’s mind back to reality. Right, he was sitting next to Inseong listening to a conversation between the two aunts about proper education while Nari listened from the corner of the couch like she was absolutely disgusted with her family. Chol just played with legos in the corner while Eunhee ignored the topic completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong, your dad is going to the store to get more tteok for tteokbokki tonight. Can you go with him and make sure he gets the right stuff?” she asked, ripping a piece of paper out of a pad of paper and handing it to him. He reached up for it to take it from her, looking down at it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” he told her, flashing her a smile. He looked back to Sanghyuk. “Do you want to come or stay here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was about to reply that he would go with Inseong, considering he still felt the most comfortable around him and hadn’t intended on letting the boy out of his sight for even a minute, but Inseong’s mom’s hand was on his shoulder before he could even speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll be fine here. Besides, we’re all having a very interesting conversation about… what were you talking about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“School,” Nari groaned, causing smiles to break out on everyone’s faces. Sanghyuk made sure to make his as genuine as he could. He didn’t want to leave Inseong. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t like the idea of not having a constant eye on him. Something was wrong, he just didn’t know what. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong waved goodbye before leaving with his dad. Sanghyuk felt even more closed off as the door closed, separating them. How long would this go on for?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the car began pulling out of the driveway, Sanghyuk realized a slight hush had gone over everybody in the room. His eyes lifted from his lap, noticing how every pair of eyes subtly looked up towards the window. Sanghyuk turned his head to follow their gazes, watching the car leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe it,” he heard whispered from his right. He turned his head to look up to the talkative aunt who still kept her eyes completely focused on the window. “I don’t think I’ve seen that boy smile like that since the announcement.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hush,” Inseong’s mom interrupted, but Sanghyuk easily recognized the face as a way to hide the fact that she agreed. He was getting better at recognizing the masks that people wore. Inseong was ever better at hiding them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you hush me!” the aunt spat at her, turning her whole body as if ready to defend her statement. “You know as well as I do how your boy is!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you’re assuming about my son, but he has </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> been a bright and happy boy,” his mom defended sternly, sending a slight glare towards the aunt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eunhee, at that moment, be it bad or good, decided to throw her two cents in. “She isn’t wrong… about Inseong seeming happier than usual.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nobody asked for your opinion,” Nari spat at the older girl, earning a glare from her mother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his brows creasing as he finally took in what everyone was saying. As that one word finally settled into his skin, digging into his veins like an itch, he looked up to the rest of the family. “The announcement?” he asked quietly, looking around the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eunhee nodded. “Well, yeah. The announcement,” she told him, finally setting her phone face down on the couch as she turned to face him. “You know… the Inseong and Jaeyoon are a couple announcement.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It must be the fame that’s just been getting to him lately,” his mom concluded with a shake of her head. “I know he hates being recognized. Jaeyoon’s fansites following him around, too? Isn’t that a bit much?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least he seems to be happier now,” one of the aunts concluded, taking a sip of her water. “He’s been so genuinely happy all weekend.” Sanghyuk wanted to stand up from the couch and scream that it was all an act. He wanted to scream it in all of their faces just to let them know their precious Inseong was so unhappy it was killing him. He just wanted them all to know. Why didn’t they know already?! How was it possible they couldn’t tell?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Inseong’s little game wasn’t the only thing floating around Sanghyuk’s head. His fingers dug into his palm thinking about the fact that Inseong’s own family couldn’t tell how unhappy he was now, but his muscles loosened at another thought. This question burned at the back of his mind so harshly that every sense in his body went completely numb.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean… he was happy before the announcement?” Sanghyuk asked, furrowing his brows. He didn’t mean to, but as he looked up at the family he realized his mistake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” the mom said with a nod. “Before the announcement he was happy with Jaeyoon without the media getting all in his face. Of course, he never told </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> that. How rude.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You became friends with him after the announcement, right?” Eunhee asked, turning her full attention to him. Sanghyuk could only manage to nod as thoughts literally swarmed his brain. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He wasn’t unhappy with his relationship before the announcement. Something changed when they announced it.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Haven’t you noticed it? He’s happier lately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s suffering.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk seriously felt like his head was about to explode. Inseong was in so much pain and nobody even paid enough attention to notice. His own family couldn’t even tell. Nobody knew why he was so hurt, he wasn’t letting them know, and he hid every emotion he had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Something changed when they announced their relationship. Something went wrong. Find out what it is,</span>
  </em>
  <span> his mind told him. Sanghyuk felt the headache growing behind his eyes as he tried to, in the short milliseconds he had before being expected to answer, figure out what to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What would have happened if he told the truth? What if he stood up right then and there and told everyone Inseong was faking it? What if, when Inseong walked through the door, he called him out? No, that wouldn’t work. Inseong had made it clear that whatever he was going through was bad. He would make up some excuse. He would hide away. He would pull up his mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, looking up to meet Eunhee’s eyes. He had to get Inseong to willingly drop his mask, right? That’s what he had to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What better way to do that than to know what was going on? What better way to manipulate Inseong’s mask away than to put on his own?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just like that, his headache vanished.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yeah, it seems like he’s getting used to the constant pressure of the media now,” Sanghyuk told them. Except it wasn’t really Sanghyuk speaking now. He had Dawon flowing into his personality, taking hold of every part of him. “But I figured he had gotten over that within just a few weeks. I think it’s just the attention in general.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How so?” one of the aunts asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk- no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon</span>
  </em>
  <span>- relaxed. “He doesn’t like talking about Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk admitted, choosing the words he spoke carefully. “He never has really,” he admitted with a shrug. “I think it’s the whole attention thing. He doesn’t like being associated with it because of all the attention it brings him. But… I mean… I’m not his family. I haven’t known him nearly as long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t tell you about Jaeyoon either?” Eunhee asked, leaning forward. “I thought it was just us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He never even hinted at it before the announcement?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head. “You said you didn’t know, but did he really not even drop any hints?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” his mother confessed, taking a seat. “Nothing about him changed even slightly until the announcement. He called us the day after to tell us over the phone but he sounded so tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Something happened when they announced it. Within a day, something happened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did Jaeyoon ever give an excuse?” Sanghyuk asked as if he was just interested in the drama. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the aunts shook her head. “We haven’t met him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or maybe it didn’t happen after the announcement. Maybe it happened before.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve tried to bring up the idea, but every time we do, Inseong changes the subject.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Inseong doesn’t like Jaeyoon.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s like he doesn’t want us to meet him at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because Inseong doesn’t like him. Inseong… is afraid of him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was no shock to Sanghyuk that Inseong was skittish around Jaeyoon, but the thoughts barrelled into him full force. Inseong didn’t like Sanghyuk being around him. Inseong didn’t want Jaeyoon around his family. Inseong constantly pretended to be happier than he really was and Jaeyoon knew it. It was an act. Inseong’s happiness was an act and Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. Because Inseong didn’t like Jaeyoon. And maybe… he never had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t get the thought out of his head. It wouldn’t leave. Sanghyuk wanted to convince himself that this theory, out of the many he had come up with, was the stupidest of them all. He wanted to find some reason to invalidate it all because it was just that ridiculous. This was his dumbest theory yet and somehow it was the only one he could definitely not find proof against. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That one fact just kept resurfacing in his mind, blaring like an alarm any time he even tried to think about something that contradicted his theory. Inseong was happy before the announcement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Inseong arrived back at the house with his father, Sanghyuk went to the door to greet him. When he opened the door to let them in, watching as they both exited from the car, Sanghyuk felt the cold flakes nipping at his skin. The world went completely quiet around him as his eyes lifted to the cloud covered sky, watching with a completely numb gaze as snow began drifting down to the ground, covering the matted grass in a thin layer of white. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“IT’S SNOWING!” Chol screeched, running past him into the snow. Inseong’s father laughed, running after him to chase him through the cold air. Nari ran out, too, followed by Inseong’s mother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed, in that moment, that the only two people not enjoying the snow were Sanghyuk and Inseong. It was the one moment Sanghyuk could say, without a doubt, Inseong’s mask had faltered. As he looked up at the sky, his smile was completely gone. Inseong himself looked gone. Whoever he was when Sanghyuk had first met him had completely faded away. He was, at this point, more of his mask than he was of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As his eyes drifted down, watching the snow, his eyes landed on Sanghyuk’s. He didn’t care that he was staring, and at the moment, Inseong didn’t seem to care either. Their eyes met like that, a space filled with falling snowflakes in between them as they both stood terribly still. Inseong’s family ran around happily in it, but it was as if they were too far away to hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like they were both thinking the same thing, their thoughts connecting across that field of snow and cold air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had met back in September. Now, towards the end of December, it was snowing for the first time. Four months. They had known each other for four months now, and everything had just faded away since then. In four months, Sanghyuk’s identity had crushed him like a weight. In four months, Youngkyun had ripped himself apart piece by piece trying to fix everything on his own. In four months, things had grown so out of control that nobody could handle them anymore. In four months, Inseong’s sense of self had broken into tiny shards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Inseong wasn’t completely gone, right? He was just hidden. Sanghyuk knew that better than anybody. He knew what it felt like to have to become someone else entirely, so much so until that other identity controlled him. God, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So maybe there was a chance to help Inseong. He would never be quite himself again, but at least he wouldn’t just be a figure for his mask. He was still Inseong, even if Inseong wasn’t the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed as his mind broke him out of his sleep. He hadn’t even opened his eyes, but he didn’t need to to tell it was still the middle of the night. He had no idea what hour it was or how long it would be until the sun rose, but he knew it definitely wasn’t time to wake up. His mind kept him awake though, filling every sense in his body with a feeling of uneasiness as he closed his eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed, turning over in bed. He just wanted to go back to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind didn’t let him. Every inch of his body became alert, forcing him to stay away, and therefore causing him to groan. He was tired enough as it was thanks to constantly stressing over Inseong, so he didn’t need-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shot up in bed, squinting in the dark at the other side of the bed. His fingers tightened around the empty sheets, barely warm. He let himself breathe for a moment, feeling the fabric of the sheets with the pads of his fingers, before swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. He grabbed his sweater quickly, shivering as he pulled it over himself. He leaned over to grab Inseong’s phone from the nightstand, turning it over and wincing at the harsh light, but forcing himself to take in the time. It was around one in the morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light, glancing over the mass of texts covering his screen. Jaeyoon. 51 missed texts. 10 missed calls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For god’s sake, it was one in the fucking morning. Sanghyuk wanted to reply to the texts himself, but he restrained the urge to even open them. If he did, the notifications would disappear and Inseong would know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip as he looked back down to the empty spot in the bed. His body filled with dread again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shot up out of bed, moving stealthily over to the door before twisting the knob carefully, letting himself out of the room. The house was scary quiet, and horribly dark. Sanghyuk squinted to see through the dark, his eyes settling on the empty bathroom in the middle of the hall. He found the stairs quickly, letting himself down them. He held his breath carefully, tiptoeing around as he glanced into every room. Eunhee and her mom were asleep, undisturbed in the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Where the fuck had Inseong gone?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s breath hitched as he looked out the window to his left, watching specks of snow fall slowly, blending into the dark of the night outside. It really was pitch black. It was also the perfect place to avoid everyone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk slipped his shoes on over his bare feet quickly, hugging his sweater against his body as he carefully turned the knob to the door, opening it just a crack and slipping outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cold air stung him immediately. It felt like pin pricks jabbing into his cheeks while strings cut off the blood flow to his fingers. Everything was quiet as he closed the door behind him, the smell of </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold</span>
  </em>
  <span> filling his senses. It smelt like burnt firewood and ice in the form of dust. It surrounded him completely while the air sat completely still around him. The snow piled up around him, his shoes sinking deeper into the blanket it had created outside. It hadn’t stopped snowing since it started, and by now the snow was so high it was overflowing into Sanghyuk’s shoes, nipping at his ankles in a way that was so numbing he didn’t even want to walk. He grit his teeth and continued anyways, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to call out Inseong’s name the second he turned around, but he only needed to look down in front of him for a second to realize he didn’t need to. The snow was covering them quickly, but the shoe prints in the snow were more than obvious. Sanghyuk followed them carefully, hugging his arms around him in the cold as he stared down at the tracks. He walked a few paces before looking up in the direction the tracks showed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s lungs deflated completely as his eyes settled on Inseong’s still frame. Even in the dark, he could see the way Inseong’s bare skin glistened with melting snow and flakes that still covered him. He could see the red hugh that had completely taken over his skin tone, formed from the bitter cold of the snow that literally surrounded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk walked over to him steadily, careful not to disturb him. When he was right by his side, ankles burning from the cold, Sanghyuk finally opened his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Sanghyuk could feel the unsteadiness as he spoke, his voice finally reaching above a whisper as his eyes filled with worry. His arms hugged his body tighter, his senses overflowing with burning cold. “Inseong, what are you doing?” he asked again, immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy didn’t even flinch at the sound of his voice. His hair was sprawled in every direction around his head, sinking into the snow around him. His arms laid out like a T, bare. The only thing he had covering his torso was a t-shirt and a thin layer of snow. As red as his skin was, he looked too cold now to even melt the snow that touched his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His skin was very red. He wore sweatpants and sneakers, but that was it. The rest of his skin was completely exposed, surrounded by the snow he laid so calmly in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what are you doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Sanghyuk asked again, his voice pleading for an answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s numbing,” came Inseong’s response, his voice gentle and… free. Sanghyuk didn’t respond, watching as Inseong’s chest rose gently with a breath of air. A silence fell between them before Inseong spoke again. “How do you think it feels to freeze to death?” he finally asked, sending a harsh shiver throughout Sanghyuk’s body. It was like he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> how lost Inseong really was. What was worse was that he understood. “To just feel so, completely numb.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that how you feel right now?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, biting his tongue the second he spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Inseong replied honestly, taking another breath of air. “But it’s how I want to feel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his body filling with rage, blood rushing to his head and cheeks flushing with heat as he marched deeper into the snow, reaching down and wrapping his fingers around Inseong’s arm. Without any hesitation or second thoughts, he pulled Inseong up from the snow. Inseong seemed shocked at the strength Sanghyuk had, his eyes popping open widely as he was forced to his feet. Sanghyuk grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Sanghyuk told him sternly, his voice ripping apart with worry. “You don’t get to feel numb.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you need help, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ask</span>
  </em>
  <span> for it. But you don’t get to just feel numb and hope it just all goes away!” Sanghyuk scolded him, cold tears pricking at his eyes. His lips pulled back disgustingly, but he didn’t even care. “Because if you just ignore it until you can’t feel anything you’re just gonna be more hurt when you feel it anyways!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked at Sanghyuk with wide eyes and a shocked expression, like he genuinely did not expect Sanghyuk to be so hurt over his own emotions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God dammit Inseong, </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> something about it!” Sanghyuk yelled at him, his voice traveling through the empty air surrounding them. “Ask me for help! I’m right here Inseong! I’m right here! Tell me you’re not okay and that you’re hurting! You can’t lie to me anymore, you just can’t! I can see past your bullshit lies and I know you’re hurting even when you smile! So </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> just </span>
  <em>
    <span>say it</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk cried, cold tears dripping down his cheeks as his fingers held tightly onto Inseong’s shoulders in front of him. “Say you’re hurting so I can help you instead of just running away to numb what little feeling you have left!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong blinked at him, and Sanghyuk felt himself falling apart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong I’m right here for you!” he cried, shaking him a bit in front of him. “I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> been right here for you… so please just… just say you’re not okay. You’re not. I can see it every day now but you just won’t admit it to me. You’d rather feel numb than ask for help, but I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>begging</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to ask for help,” Sanghyuk continued, his cheeks freezing over from his tears, frozen from the cold air nipping at them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk waited, staring into Inseong’s eyes which still hadn’t shifted from his own. His lips parted slightly, but that was the only part of him that moved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gritted his teeth together. He couldn’t lose any more than he already had. “Whatever’s stopping you from admitting you’re hurting… why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> is it so important to you?” he asked, finally ripping his eyes away from Inseong’s, looking down at his hands around his shoulders. “Because right now I can’t come up with even two things that matter more to me than you being okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong licked his lips, staring down at Sanghyuk. “I’m…” he started, his voice barely above a cracked whisper through the snow. “I’m not okay,” he finally pushed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his chest collapse in relief, his head falling to Inseong’s shoulder as he let the tears fall from his eyes. He felt Inseong swallow, his freezing cold fingers coming around to hold his back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I’m… I’m not okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Sanghyuk cried out weakly, biting his lip as he continued to cry. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, struggling to find even one breath that contained enough oxygen to pull himself together. “Thank you,” he repeated through a sob, forcing himself to become collected as he raised his head. He reached down and grabbed Inseong’s hand, cursing to himself as he felt how freezing Inseong’s fingers were. “Come on,” he mumbled, stepping backwards and pulling Inseong with him. “We need to warm you up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong hadn’t said a single word since Sanghyuk brought him back inside, but that was okay. Sanghyuk didn’t need him to say anything else. His chest felt full as Inseong’s words replayed over and over again in his head. That was a crack in Inseong’s mask he would never be able to fix again, and if Sanghyuk convinced him to confess even more of it, there would hopefully be no more mask left to wear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong had admitted he wasn’t okay, and that was the first step to everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stayed wrapped around his side in bed, glad to feel his natural body temperature finally returning. It was weird, sitting like this on their own accord. Every time they woke up, recently, it had been an accident that the two of them were wrapped around each other. But not this time. This time, without even asking, Sanghyuk had cuddled up against his side, wrapping his arms around his body and laying his head on his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything would be okay. He would make sure it would all be okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his eyes slowly drooping, his mind slowly fading into unconsciousness when the sound of Inseong’s voice snapped him back awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think about it sometimes,” Inseong whispered, just loud enough for Sanghyuk to hear. He didn’t respond or make any sound that showed he had heard. Rather, he brushed his fingers along Inseong’s waist to show he was awake and heard him. He felt Inseong breathing underneath him, his heart beating gently. Inseong left out a soft sigh, sinking into the bed. He wanted Sanghyuk to respond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think about?” Sanghyuk asked, his voice a hoarse whisper as his fingers played with the hem of Inseong’s nightshirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong went silent for a few beats, just breathing. Sanghyuk breathed with him. “I think about what it would be like if I had never met Jaeyoon,” Inseong confessed quietly. Sanghyuk’s breath hitched a bit, but he quickly evened it back out, listening. He could hear the way Inseong’s voice sounded a bit more choked up than it had been before. He could hear the emotion in it. “I think about it when I’m at work,” Inseong confessed in a whisper, moving his hand up gently to Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “I think about it when I’m at home. It’s in my dreams sometimes, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?” Sanghyuk asked quietly, melting into his touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong paused for a few more beats. “And I’m just… in this life I imagine where Jaeyoon doesn’t exist for me… I’m happy. I’m really </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> happy,” he finally confessed. Sanghyuk felt a sensation close to bliss wash over him. He had been right. This whole time he had known how unhappy Inseong was, and now he was finally admitting it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong cleared his throat quietly, letting out a somewhat shaky breath. “Thinking about it makes me think about how happy I </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> be, and just imagining it makes me smile,” Inseong confessed, his heart beat beginning to race a bit in his chest. “I think about running the cafe with you and just always smiling. Like… there’s never any reason not to smile. I’m never distracted by him or brought away by him. And… I imagine Youngkyun and Taeyang having lunch with me. And I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> me. Jaeyoon isn’t there making me hold my tongue and nobody is stopping me from being happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So even with Jaeyoon gone, we’re still all in this world you imagine?” Sanghyuk found himself asking, pushing himself up into a sitting position to look down at Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded gently. “Despite everything, you guys are some of the best things to ever happen to me,” he confessed quietly, looking down and not meeting Sanghyuk’s eyes. “In my happiest thoughts, you’re all still there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then with Jaeyoon gone, what else do you picture instead?” Sanghyuk asked, wanting to hear more about Inseong’s happiest dream. He pressed his palm against the sheets, leaning his weight against it, his head tilting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already told you,” Inseong told him, expression not changing save for a slight blush on his cheeks. “It’s you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but I mean, what else besides that?” Sanghyuk asked, a small smile appearing on his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing else matters besides that,” Inseong told him with a shake of his head. “The details change every single time I want to imagine it differently. You’re the only thought that doesn’t change.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean Youngkyun, Taeyang, and I?” Sanghyuk asked, raising his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Inseong told him quickly, no hesitation as his eyes finally returned to Sanghyuk’s. “I mean just you.” Sanghyuk wanted to clarify what Inseong was saying again, still too confused to really wrap his head around it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Without even realizing it, he had already understood what Inseong meant. “I picture myself with you instead of Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk swallowed, the smile dropping from his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was… was that why Inseong reacted the way he did when he woke up tangled together with him? It didn’t seem possible that Inseong could possibly… it was insane. Right? The thought was insane? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it make you happy?” Sanghyuk found himself asking instead of voicing his opinions, not breaking eye contact with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong sighed, tilting his head. “What I just said doesn’t bother you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I asked if it made you happy,” Sanghyuk whispered, not giving him a chance to avoid the question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong licked his lips, pausing a beat. “Yes,” he finally answered, still looking up at him. “Thinking about a life where I’m with someone I like instead of Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> make me happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly everything Sanghyuk had told Chanhee became lies. They had probably been lies then, too. It wasn’t like it was some revelation since, in all honesty, Sanghyuk couldn’t remember a time anymore where he didn’t like Inseong as much as he did now. The only thing that changed was knowing liking him was an option.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then forgive me,” Sanghyuk began, not really having a plan as he shifted his weight slightly. But then again, when did he ever have a plan? “Forgive me for trying to make you just a little bit happier in this fucked up world,” Sanghyuk finished in a whisper, moving his hand to gently cup Inseong’s cheek before leaning down, pressing their lips together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the way Inseong froze up, Sanghyuk could tell he didn’t expect it. He moved to pull away, but before he could even move his hand Inseong had pushed them both into a sitting position, wrapping his hand around the back of his neck and pulling their lips together again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved his other hand to cup Inseong’s face, too, sinking into the taste of his kiss. His lips were soft against his own, moving gently and in harmony. Inseong’s hand wrapped around Sanghyuk’s back, holding him close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled away with a sharp breath, realizing exactly what he was doing. He let panic slowly fill him as Inseong stared at him quizzically. He stuttered. “Wa- wait,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “What- what about Jaeyoon? I mean, you’re-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck Jaeyoon,” Inseong whispered, not breaking eye contact with him as he pressed their lips together again. Sanghyuk didn’t argue, letting Inseong fill his mind as the thoughts that worried him faded like wet paper drifting into useless pieces. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck Jaeyoon.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Game Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hadn’t stopped pacing since he got home. Inseong dropping Sanghyuk off at his house consisted mostly of smiling and awkwardly saying he would see him at the cafe the next day. His thoughts had been entirely consumed with Inseong up until the point where the boy drove away. The second he was gone, every thought Sanghyuk had had before then came rushing back at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he made it to his and Chanhee’s apartment, he was completely trapped in his own thoughts. Inseong didn’t tell Jaeyoon. Inseong didn’t care. Would Jaeyoon care? Sanghyuk’s theory. Inseong being happy before the announcement. The announcement. Their relationship. Sanghyuk’s head was spinning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Chanhee greeted at the door, letting Sanghyuk in. “How was the… hey? Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t even answer, pulling his stuff inside and dropping it right next to the door before immediately pacing the room, fingers gliding over his lips as he thought. He couldn’t stop thinking now, that was the problem. Inseong himself had been a distraction from the thoughts he had begun to have before all of… </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> happened. The thoughts didn’t go away, though. Far from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, come on,” Chanhee prompted, standing in front of him. “What the fuck?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong was okay before the announcement,” Sanghyuk mumbled to keep Chanhee satisfied. He said it more to himself, though. He continued walking back and forth across the room as he thought, his ideas and his theories digging him deeper and deeper into a hole he didn’t even want to touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What announcement?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before they announced they were a couple,” Sanghyuk clarified without even thinking of his response first. He continued to pace. “There was nothing off about Inseong. His family didn’t see any signs that he was in a bad relationship. They didn’t notice </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?” Chanhee asked, furrowing his brows. “The pressure of the media.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Inseong sounded exhausted to let his family know he was dating Jaeyoon. He told them the day </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But before that he was fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you’re going to have to help me out here, I’m completely lost,” Chanhee admitted, stepping forward as Sanghyuk finally stopped pacing, coming to a stop in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it weird that they revealed that they’re a couple even though it’s obvious neither of them are happy about it? I mean, Inseong told me to my face he doesn’t like Jaeyoon. So why did they go public? Obviously there was strain before then, because by the time I kidnapped him two weeks later, Inseong was already scared, for a lack of better words. Two weeks. That’s not enough time for an abusive relationship to develop under the radar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, I’m confused,” Chanhee told him again. “We already know all of this stuff. We’ve gone over it a dozen times.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did we not know?” Sanghyuk asked, pacing again. “I mean… how could we have possibly missed the fact that Jaeyoon had a boyfriend? Not a single person knew. Inseong’s family didn’t even know. How the… how the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> did we miss that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, use your brain, Chanhee!” Sanghyuk told him, spinning towards him suddenly. “Think about it. Think about all of it. None of it adds up, right? Really think about it when it’s all put together. Not a single part of it adds up. It’s not normal. It’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Chanhee assured him, biting his lip. “But that’s why we’ve been looking into it. Remember? You were hung up on trying to find out how their relationship started and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It didn’t,” Sanghyuk mumbled, cutting off Chanhee’s words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee,” Sanghyuk mumbled, staring down at the ground. “I don’t… I don’t think they were… that… I mean…” Sanghyuk shook his head, composing himself. He locked eyes with Chanhee. “I don’t think Inseong and Jaeyoon are really dating.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s eyes went wide at his theory, mouth hanging open. “Hyuk, of all the ridiculous ideas-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s stupid, I know. But Chanhee, I dare you to try and prove it wrong, because I promise you, you can’t,” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. “I have thought of every possible way to discredit the idea but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It makes sense if you think about it like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> does that make sense?!” Chanhee asked, blinking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was no evidence of them as a couple before the announcement because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> a couple and never were. Inseong doesn’t like Jaeyoon because he never did. Inseong’s family didn’t know because Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> in a relationship then. Inseong’s mood dipped, not because of the media attention, but because of the situation. He doesn’t like talking about Jaeyoon because he doesn’t have much to talk about. It’s a lie. For whatever reason, they’re pretending to be a couple, but behind the scenes they both don’t want to deal with each other and it’s obvious. Jaeyoon didn’t care about him going on a trip without him because he’s not jealous. They’re not a couple. He didn’t care when I called to ask if he was okay with me and Inseong sharing a room because they’re not in a real relationship!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee coughed, staring at him wide-eyed. “I’m sorry, say that again. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sanghyuk asked, staring up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>called</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon… as </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and met him face to face, too. He didn’t recognize me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee gaped at him. “You MET Jaeyoon and didn’t think to tell me?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgot!” Sanghyuk yelled at him with wide eyes. “I was focused on the fact that Jaeyoon kissed Inseong in front of me and Inseong looked like he would have rather let me run him over with the car than continue breathing! I was thinking about how Jaeyoon pulled me aside and made up some bullshit lie about Inseong being mentally depressed and how he asked me to keep an eye on him. I wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Dawon, I was thinking about Inseong!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You met your enemy face to face, Sanghyuk! That’s pretty fucking important!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and then I called him later on the phone. I did a lot of shit I probably shouldn’t have done this weekend. You want to know what else I did? I kissed Inseong! I did exactly what I said I wasn’t doing! I stole the ‘hero’s’ man, only </span>
  <em>
    <span>plot twist</span>
  </em>
  <span> I don’t think he was ever Jaeyoon’s man to begin with!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need you to take a breather for a second and slow that shit down for me,” Chanhee mumbled, staring at him with wide eyes. “You… so, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>met</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>talked</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Jaeyoon. You called Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>on the phone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And then, after all of that, you hooked up with Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well when you sum my weekend up like that it makes me seem like I’m incapable of making good decisions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF MAKING GOOD DECISIONS!” Chanhee yelled at him with an exasperated look on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please just help me,” Sanghyuk begged, taking a step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With what?” Chanhee gaped at him. “It seems like you’re doing fantastic on your own so far!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a disaster of a human and I know it! Stop rubbing it in!” Sanghyuk told him, frustrated. “I need help with this, I really do Chanhee. I’m back on my Dawon bullshit. This goes all the way back to September. Remember that plan of figuring out Jaeyoon’s secrets through Inseong? I think we really need to do that now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee deadpanned at him. “You think you can, now?” he asked, hands on his hips. Sanghyuk opened his mouth to speak again, but Chanhee cut him off. “What changed, huh? What makes you think we’ll be able to find something that we couldn’t even find before? Sure, let’s say Inseong and Jaeyoon aren’t a couple. I admit it. It doesn’t sound completely irrational when you put some thought into it, but none of that tells us anything about why they would be pretending to date.” Chanhee shook his head, exhaling as he still tried to compile all his thoughts. “We have looked into Jaeyoon and his motives more times than I can count on both hands, but we’ve never found anything new.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head. “We did find something new. There </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a clue, it’s just that neither of us thought anything of it. It came to my mind this weekend, but something happened that we never looked into.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Chanhee challenged, leaning back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk locked eyes with him. “Jaeyoon destroying his father’s memorial.” Chanhee’s expression froze as Sanghyuk’s words seem to sink in, his lips drawing apart with no real words to say. “We never looked into that,” Sanghyuk reminded him, taking a step forward. “We just accepted that it was probably Jaeyoon and moved on as if that was perfectly normal, but it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does that have anything to do with Inseong fake dating Jaeyoon, though?” Chanhee asked, furrowing his brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t,” Sanghyuk admitted, finally taking the time to kick off his shoes as he moved over to the coffee table. Anything that was on top of it, he quickly swept onto the floor, disregarding the complete mess he made. Chanhee didn’t even bat an eye at him. Sanghyuk sat down in front of the table, folding his arms on top of it. “But it does,” he added, reaching over for a pad of paper he had tossed onto the floor, grabbing a pen with his pinky. He flipped to a new page in the pad of paper, uncapping the pen with his teeth. “We have to forget everything we know about Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk concluded, watching Chanhee slowly sink to the ground on the other side of the table. “We couldn’t figure out they weren’t dating because we assumed too many things. The answer was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there</span>
  </em>
  <span> this whole time. We just missed it,” he explained, scribbling a few words onto the pad of paper. “What if we’re missing more?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Forget everything we know about him?” Chanhee asked, furrowing his brows. “We know almost everything about him, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Clearly we don’t,” Sanghyuk contradicted with a shake of his head. “We don’t know why he’s pretending to date Inseong. We don’t know why he would have destroyed his father’s memorial. We don’t know why he attacked me that night at the convenience store. I don’t know if he switched the guns I used or not that night, and we don’t know how he knew to keep coming after me even before I made my villain identity known. We don’t know how he met Inseong or what he’s doing with Anonymous,” he listed off, writing each one down in an illegible scribble as he spoke. “Chanhee, I could list off to you every perfume Jaeyoon has ever used and what his favorite breakfast foods are, but I can’t give one explanation for any of those other things. We’re missing the most important parts about Jaeyoon’s life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So where do you want to start, then?” Chanhee asked simply, folding his hands on the table. Sanghyuk looked up to him, a bit shocked. “You’re right,” Chanhee admitted with a slight shrug. “And this has seriously gone on for too long, now. So… let’s figure this shit out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start with his past,” Sanghyuk decided, ripping the first page of paper out of the pad and pushing it aside so he could start writing on a new one. “All of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On July 13, 2004, Sanghyuk’s dad had left for work. In all honesty, Sanghyuk couldn’t remember where he had worked anymore. The memory had faded from his mind, almost as much as the picture of his dad’s face. July 13, 2004: the day Lee Jungsik was attacked and almost killed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t remember the news story appearing on the tv, though he knew he was sitting right next to his mother while she watched it. She loved Lee Jungsik. Everyone loved Lee Jungsik. Not only was he one of the best politicians to ever hold a position of power in South Korea, but he was charismatic and well rounded. From news reports Sanghyuk read years later, he knew how good of a man Lee Jungsik was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had helped feed thousands of homeless people and had offered ideas in helping boost the economy. He always smiled at everyone around him and people adored him for that. There wasn’t one article talking about a mistake he had made or something bad falling upon his shoulders. He was this perfect, untouchable man. And on July 13, 2004, someone tried to poison him at a public event.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been aired live on TV. The video was old, filmed with a grainy camera with horrible sound quality. There was no doubt, though, that the man in the video was Lee Jungsik. He sat at a table with his family and other political representatives, raising a glass of wine before lifting it to his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wine had been poisoned, apparently. Nobody knew when it had happened, or who had done it, but before he could finish his toast, Lee Jungsik was clawing at his throat unable to breathe. The video was shaky from that point, filled with the sounds of a crowd screaming in terror as their favorite politician choked and fell to his knees. They saved him. Sanghyuk wasn’t exactly sure how, but it had something to do with forcing him to throw up and immediately pumping his stomach. They gave him so many medications and other things, Sanghyuk didn’t even think it was worth memorizing the list. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately for two others, Lee Jungsik wasn't the only one at the gathering drinking Pinot Noir. As it turned out, a few of his staff helped themselves to a few sips from the bottle after it had been served to him. They died in the kitchen where nobody was there to help them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s dad did not go to work that day, and on July 15, 2004, he was framed for the murder of two people, and the attempted murder of Lee Jungsik. Sanghyuk could remember crying out and screaming as his mom kept trying to explain to him what was happening, and the run to the police station where they were bombarded by reporters shoving rude questions in their face. Sanghyuk had crawled around their legs, sprinting into the police department and being promptly thrown out by a group of large officers. They hadn’t been allowed to visit for days, and his father hadn’t received the right to a phone call. No bail was offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they were finally allowed to visit, Sanghyuk hadn’t said much. Kids at school teased him and made fun of him. They told him his father was a killer, and maybe someday he would be too. They tried to convince him his father had done it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The police confiscated it, but his dad’s reason for not showing up to work was a small ring with a ruby in it. It would have been an anniversary present for his mom. Coincidentally, the ring shop was next to the venue where Lee Jungsik was poisoned. They framed his father for hating Lee Jungsik, and promptly framed him for the crimes as well. But Sanghyuk’s parents had both loved Lee Jungsik, and there was no way his dad had done it. Even as a nine year old kid, Sanghyuk knew his dad had been falsely framed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His temper rose in school, his outbursts becoming a regular part of every class day. He was picked last in sports. Kids stared at him. Nobody wanted to play with him. They called him the weird kid and ran away from him out of fear. He camped out on the police station steps waiting for a chance to get information on his father, hoping some officers might pity him. He sat out there through storms, but they never let him inside. His mother barely even noticed he left, sometimes. She went from reporter to reporter, going after politicians and making scenes everywhere she went to defend her husband. She cried herself to sleep almost every night while people called her insane and delusional. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On October 23, 2004, the trial finally took place. News reporters filed into the building to watch his dad be convicted, but Sanghyuk could barely remember anything other than the judge saying ‘guilty’ as he cried out, held back by officers. He screamed out for his dad, while his mom assaulted an officer out of anger, hitting him to try and get to her husband. That was the day Sanghyuk’s dad had received the death sentence, since the two other men that died had also been politicians. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On November 22 his dad received his sentence, and at the same time his mother hung herself in their home. That was the day Sanghyuk had truly lost everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On October 11, 2005, almost a year after that had all happened, Chanhee had found his dad’s office. At this time, his mother had already passed from cancer, so his dad and grandparents were the only people taking care of him, but that was a bold choice of words considering his grandparents beat him when his dad left for work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee’s dad ‘worked for the government.’ He said little about what he did, and what his work entailed, but Chanhee was the only person who knew the truth. He had found his dad’s equipment in the closet and the pictures of people he didn’t even know on his desk. He didn’t know it then, but later Chanhee realized his dad had been a secret agent working for the government. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His dad had an interest in the case of Lee Jungsik’s attempted murder. He, like Sanghyuk and his mom, didn’t believe his dad had really done it. For whatever reason, with whatever knowledge he had, he knew it was framed. On November 16, his dad kissed Chanhee goodbye for the last time as he took his things. To everyone else, he was staying at a secure government building in Seoul for the next few days. Chanhee was the only person he told the truth to. He was going to Daejeon to look more into the case under the radar. He wasn’t assigned anywhere, rather he was looking into it all on his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On November 20, a news report aired talking about a fatal car crash in Seoul, claiming the life of only one victim. Chanhee’s grandparents were informed later that day that his father was dead. But Chanhee’s father hadn’t been in Seoul, and the car in the news report hadn’t even belonged to his family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few years later, Lee Jungsik passed away, leaving his legacy to his only son, Lee Jaeyoon. To say he held up the legacy was an understatement. Everyone loved Jaeyoon, even more than they did his father. Jaeyoon was a figure even outside of Seoul, sometimes making international news. Jaeyoon was a ‘hero.’ So if his goal had been to top his father’s image, he had definitely succeeded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what Sanghyuk had always assumed it had been. He had tried looking into the cases, but evidence was buried and locked away by government officials, or better yet, burned. There was nothing Sanghyuk could really use to figure out the truth. So in Sanghyuk’s mind, Jaeyoon had tried to top his father’s legacy, and the culprit had been some low life who never confessed to his crime because it had been unsuccessful. And Sanghyuk gave up looking for answers after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But why would they frame someone if it wasn’t someone important who had attempted the murder in the first place? That was the question that always stirred in the back of Sanghyuk’s mind but never really made it to the spotlight. He knew it didn’t make sense, but he had no way of explaining it. Now, with everything he knew, he had a new angle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon and Inseong weren’t in an abusive relationship because they weren’t in a relationship at all. He never could have known what Jaeyoon was hiding if he hadn’t figured out the mask he was wearing. Inseong and Jaeyoon were hiding something. So what was his dad hiding?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What if there had been a reason someone attempted to kill him? If he assumed that, he had to assume the media would dig deeply into the event, too. How long would it be until they dug up evidence against the real culprit? How long until they revealed something the government didn’t want them to know? They wouldn’t just protect some lazy politician who tried to kill their golden star. They were protecting </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lee Jungsik.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Even if it had been a government plot to kill him that went unsuccessfully, there would have had to be a reason. There was something about Lee Jungsik he didn’t know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Jaeyoon really did destroy his memorial, did that mean he knew? And for how long had he known?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two boys sat down for hours looking through old articles and conspiracy theories, digging through everything involving Jaeyoon and his family’s past. In the end though, their eyes were burning from digging through so many files. Sanghyuk was missing something. Something was escaping him. It was right in front of him. He knew it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just feared his time to figure it all out was running thin. How long before it all revealed itself? How long before it was too late? After all, Inseong had said it himself over the phone. Whatever was going to happen, it was happening ‘soon.’ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t have much time left to figure it all out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A lot of different things danced through his mind as he walked towards the cafe for work. The first thing on his mind, which hadn’t left since the night before, was Jaeyoon and his past. To say it worried Sanghyuk was an understatement. He was freaking out. His original plan had been to give Inseong time and break down his mask piece by piece until he admitted everything. Sanghyuk feared he didn’t have time for that anymore, though, but he couldn’t think of any other way to get Inseong onto his side. He had to remember that Inseong was hiding the secret too, and so far had seemed dead set on not letting anyone find out. He needed to get answers, and thinking of any way to do that scared him too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second thing on his mind was Youngkyun. He had called the boy last night to let him know what they were looking into, but it was weird. Within seconds of Youngkyun answering the call, Sanghyuk felt a shiver go over his skin. He kept the conversation casual, asking how Youngkyun was recovering and what he had been doing. Youngkyun lied. Sanghyuk had no idea how he knew, exactly, but Youngkyun wasn’t as relaxed as he should have been. If Sanghyuk had to guess, he was still looking into Anonymous. Something dug at Sanghyuk’s skin, though, telling him Youngkyun was hiding something. He decided not to tell him about Jaeyoon and Inseong, hanging up the call without giving Youngkyun a reason as to why he called in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the third and final thing on his mind was Inseong. Sanghyuk had a lot of thoughts about Inseong. First of all, he was scared. Inseong was not only hiding something drastically important, but he was suffering because of it. He was being hurt by whatever he and Jaeyoon were doing, but he still wouldn’t confess to it. It made Sanghyuk wonder how serious the situation really was without him even knowing. Second of all, he was nervous. What would happen to Inseong if he didn’t figure it out in time? Inseong was already suffering enough as it was, so what would happen if Sanghyuk couldn’t stop it, whatever </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> was? Third of all, he had no idea where he stood with Inseong. Of course, this was the absolute last thing that should have been on his mind considering the situation, but he couldn’t help it. Had Inseong kissed him just to forget about life for a second? Did he really like Sanghyuk? Sanghyuk was pretty sure he liked Inseong, but it was hard to work out his feelings when he felt so overwhelmed with emotions already. He knew he wanted to protect Inseong, though. But then again, what if Inseong didn’t need protecting? It all fell back to the question: what were Inseong and Jaeyoon hiding? The one thing Sanghyuk couldn’t figure out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed the doors to the cafe open with a fresh intake of air, pushing every thought he had no to the back of his head. He didn’t need to, though, because the second he saw Inseong smiling at him from across the cafe, every thought in his head vanished anyways. He closed the door behind himself, quickly shedding his coat and running up to Inseong. Inseong stared at him with wide eyes as Sanghyuk grabbed onto his arms, looking up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re smiling,” Sanghyuk pointed out. It caused Inseong to giggle, his lips creating a gentle smile as he nodded. Sanghyuk shook his head. “Are you really smiling, though? Don’t lie to me. I don’t wanna see it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy, Sanghyuk,” Inseong told him, pulling Sanghyuk’s hands away from his hands so he could lace their fingers together instead. “I mean it. I’m not pretending this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his lips finally lifting into a small smile. He pulled away quickly, though, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “But we uhm- I mean the windows… so-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong grabbed his hands quickly, pulling him back to a secluded corner of the cafe before gently pressing their lips together again. Sanghyuk couldn’t help but melt into Inseong’s kiss, holding his hands gently as their lips moved together. It ended far too quickly for Sanghyuk’s liking, and it didn’t take more than a second to realize he wanted to do it again. He liked the feeling of kissing Inseong and he didn’t want to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were pulled from their trace of staring into each other’s eyes when Sanghyuk heard Inseong’s phone ringing from across the cafe. Sanghyuk’s mood dampened instantly, his eyes shifting around the corner to find the phone. Before he could move, though, Inseong had his fingers placed gently under Sanghyuk’s chin, turning his face towards him, still with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Inseong whispered, still keeping the smile on his face. “Not even he could ruin the good mood I’m in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, still unconvinced. But he relented with a small “okay,” receiving a small peck on the lips from Inseong before the boy moved across the cafe, picking up his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey babe,” he answered, and Sanghyuk felt himself sighing at the greeting. His fingers rubbed up the length of his arm as he emerged from the back corner, watching Inseong as he paced around the cafe getting things ready, the phone shoved between his ear and his shoulder as he worked. Sanghyuk couldn’t take his eyes off of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How much longer until it was too late to save him? Even if he was happy now… how long would it be until that happiness faded away? Just because he was happy didn’t mean he was suddenly okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his breathing becoming a bit more labored as thoughts rushed to his mind. It was like every part of him that was Dawon was trying to tell him what he should do, but he didn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do. He needed Chanhee with him right now. He needed Chanhee to tell him what to do because right now he really didn’t know what was the best choice. He was happy right now, or, at least he was as happily distracted as he could possibly be. What if he fucked it up? But why should he prioritize temporary happiness over good end results? What if he waited too long now and things turned out bad later? What if he fucked something up by </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing anything?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk watched as Inseong put the phone back down on the counter, not having heard a single word he said. He turned to face him with a smile, but before he could turn back around, Sanghyuk realized he had already made his decision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Inseong replied, pulling out another tray to prepare a batch of cookies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk swallowed, but it didn’t suppress his fear. “Inseong I have a question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded, still grabbing what he needed to start the cookies. “Okay, so ask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong seemed to forget how everything had been lately, not even worried that Sanghyuk would ask him something he didn’t want to answer. But Sanghyuk had to know. He had to be sure. He needed to figure it all out. “When did you and Jaeyoon start dating?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“February 25,” Inseong answered without even blinking in hesitation, only pausing after he had already said it, turning around to face Sanghyuk with furrowed brows. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk definitely thought it was weird how Inseong didn’t stutter or hesitate to remember the date. For crying out loud, Sanghyuk had to pause and think when he was asked when his own birthday was. How could Inseong remember it so easily?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dawon, unlike Sanghyuk who was just confused, wanted to turn it into a game. Without any restraint from Chanhee, Sanghyuk let the Dawon instincts in him kick in. After all, this had been Dawon’s game to begin with, hadn’t it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about the day you met Youngkyun and Taeyang?” Sanghyuk asked, meeting his eyes. “I’m just curious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong opened his mouth before closing it again. He blinked at Sanghyuk. “Why… why would I remember that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What day was the announcement made?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this some sort of test I’m not understanding?” Inseong asked, a nervous laugh escaping him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on. What day was it?” Sanghyuk asked him, encouraging him with a fake smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong paused to think for a second before his face lit up. “It was August 15th,” he recalled, and he was right. But why did Inseong have to think about that date and not the date he and Jaeyoon started dating? It was almost like it wasn’t a real date at all. It was made up for the purpose of telling a story. Inseong seemed to forget about the tray he was setting up as he took a step toward Sanghyuk, looking quizzically at him. “Why, though? What’s with the quiz?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So…” Sanghyuk began, putting the puzzle pieces together in his head. “From February 25 to August 15, you and Jaeyoon were dating secretly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong visibly shrunk at his words, and Sanghyuk definitely didn’t miss that reaction. Inseong was suddenly avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t confident anymore. Sanghyuk begged himself to stop there because he already had his answer. That was enough. He didn’t need to continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have pictures?” he asked anyways, the part of him that longed to be Dawon taking full control of the situation without letting Sanghyuk himself tag back in. Sanghyuk wanted to stop now. He had already gone too far, and he was done playing this game. He needed to stop now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong blinked at him, shoulders scrunching up. “Why do you want to know if I have pictures or not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to see them.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop! That’s enough!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head, fingers easily finding his phone in his pocket and guarding it, like he was scared Sanghyuk would try and take it from him. “I don’t want to show you them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop pressing. Let it go. For god’s sake shut the fuck up!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want to see them so badly? Just… ignore Jaeyoon. Don’t think about it,” Inseong tried to tell him, but Sanghyuk was only partly listening. But it was obvious now that Inseong wasn’t showing him the pictures for a very specific reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dawon faded out of Sanghyuk’s mind as soon as he spoke the words, realizing it wasn’t another part of him that spoke those words at all. It was him. It was all him. He was so scared of what would happen if he didn’t do something that without even realizing it he had acted rashly and said something he probably shouldn’t have said in the first place. But it was never Dawon saying those things. It was him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what?” Inseong asked, eyes going wide as he stared up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt numb as he looked from the phone in Inseong’s hand back up to his eyes. “You don’t have any pictures of you two together.” He had to get it out. Maybe if Inseong knew how much he knew, he wouldn’t hide so much from him anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course we do!” Inseong defended, but his expression betrayed him. He looked scared. “We-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you don’t,” Sanghyuk interrupted him, just looking him over, finding every flaw in the way he stood that betrayed what he said. “Because you and Jaeyoon aren’t a couple… and you never were.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cafe went completely silent around them as Inseong met his eyes with his own as wide as he could force them. Sanghyuk could see the way his chest moved while he breathed and the way he looked at every inch of Sanghyuk, like he was wondering how he could have possibly figured that out. Sanghyuk didn’t need to guess anymore. He was right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong and Jaeyoon had never been a real couple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes dropped from Sanghyuk, watching the ground by his feet as his mind seemed to be overwhelmed with thoughts. And this, for this exact reason, was why Sanghyuk needed Chanhee. He could tell before Inseong even opened his mouth to speak that he had fucked up by bringing that up. Inseong’s fingers clenched into his palm. His breathing quickened, his eyes flickering everywhere in a mental panic. Sanghyuk had fucked up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt the blood draining from his face as Inseong’s words found his ears. His lips parted open in shock as he stared at Inseong, who at this point was just gritting his teeth staring down at the ground. The tips of his ears were red and his lips pulled back to reveal his teeth bared together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what?” Sanghyuk asked, his voice becoming small.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t hesitate to repeat it for him. “Get. Out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong wait,” Sanghyuk attempted, stepping forward and reaching out for him. Inseong took a step back and pulled his arm out of his reach, finally meeting his eyes with an icy glare. Sanghyuk was taken back by the look in Inseong’s eyes. He wasn’t numb anymore. He was angry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you misheard me,” Inseong growled at him, eyes soaking with wetness. Was he crying? Or was he going to cry? But was he mad? Sanghyuk couldn’t even tell what emotions he was feeling anymore. But while Inseong stared, expecting an answer, Sanghyuk had none to give. Inseong sighed, hardening his glare even more. “Leave, Sanghyuk. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked at him, dread filling every nerve of his body. “But Inseong I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What Sanghyuk wasn’t expecting was Inseong to step towards him, his expression unmoving and unchanging. Sanghyuk felt the fear rise in his chest, but he couldn’t move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to forget what you just told me,” Inseong borderline growled at him, taking another step towards him. This time Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> take a step back, his back pressing against the wall behind him. His eyes still filled with wetness, but Sanghyuk couldn’t even bring himself to focus on that anymore. “Purge it from your brain and mind your own fucking business from now on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out,” Inseong told him through gritted teeth, glaring at him. “Get out of my cafe. Get out of my life. Stay away from me. Stay away from Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, not out of denial, but out of fear and not understanding anything. He could feel his heart racing in his chest as Inseong’s words sunk into his chest. His own eyes prickled with tears. Why was Inseong getting so mad? Of all the reactions he had seen Inseong have, anger was never one of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What were they hiding?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you not get it Sanghyuk? You’re fired. Lose my number. And get. Out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could hear nothing but his heart beating in his chest as Inseong backed away from him. He nodded, but it didn’t feel like he had any control over his body as he stumbled towards the door. Blood was rushing in his ears and he couldn’t feel anything, not even his hands on the door as he pushed it open and ran. And Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>ran</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had never run like that from anyone but Jaeyoon, but he was running now. And Sanghyuk was scared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you doing?!” Chanhee asked, barreling after him as Sanghyuk pushed his way into their room. He tore off his jacket quickly, tossing it into the corner and kneeling by his bed. Without hesitation he pulled out the bin underneath it, eyes moving over everything in the bin. Sanghyuk still didn’t answer, dried tears still coating his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I fucked up,” Sanghyuk mumbled, pulling his mask out first. He looked down at the regular face mask he usually wore under it, but decided against it. He wouldn’t be confronting Jaeyoon tonight anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You fucked up? How did you- oh shit. Sanghyuk what the fuck did you say to Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told him I knew, okay?” Sanghyuk confessed, annoyed. Pain pulsed at the back of his head, but Sanghyuk could barely bring himself to focus on it. The thoughts running through his head hurt more than the headache itself did. He reached into the bin, grabbing his belt. “He got mad- no. He got </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong? Pissed?” Chanhee asked, kneeling by his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, grabbing a single smoke bomb and his black outfit. He pulled out a black jacket, too, knowing it would be cold. “He…” Sanghyuk stopped, turning to face Chanhee. “He told me to get out of his life. Chanhee, I told him I knew they weren’t a real couple and he threatened me to never come back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee didn’t answer. He moved his hand carefully with an expression filled with worry, pressing the back of his hand to Sanghyuk’s forehead. “You feel sick,” Chanhee mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s because I’m terrified,” Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to admit, pushing himself to his feet and pulling his shirt over his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What exactly do you plan to do, then?” Chanhee asked, looking at him cautiously as he pulled the black shirt over his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled off his jeans, swapping them for his black pants instead. He shoved his legs in them, buttoning them around his waist before turning to Chanhee. “I have to figure out what they’re hiding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait any longer, Chanhee,” Sanghyuk denied, grabbing his black socks and pulling them over his feet. He grabbed his special combat boots, shoving his feet inside of them. “I’ve waited long enough already and look where it’s gotten us. Everyone knows more than we do and we have </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Something is going to happen I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, but I have no fucking idea what it is!” He turned towards Chanhee, grabbing his shoulders. “Chanhee, for the first time since I went to that convenience store, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrified</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Chanhee’s face shifted into light shock at Sanghyuk’s words, and he could feel his heart beating in his chest as he admitted it. “This is it, Chanhee. This is what everything had been building up to for years.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not like this,” Chanhee denied, shaking his head as Sanghyuk moved to walk past him towards the bathroom. “Sanghyuk it shouldn’t be like this!” Sanghyuk paused, turning around to face him. Chanhee shook his head, tears building up in his eyes. He was scared too. They were all scared. “In every story, it’s the villain who does something so bad that the hero questions their role! That’s how the story should go! But this… this </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> that! You’re not the hero! Jaeyoon isn’t the villain! Since when, in stories like this, is the boyfriend or girlfriend involved what the villain is doing?! No- the hero. The- I don’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> anymore!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, staring at the ground as he nodded. He knew what Chanhee was feeling. He understood. “Me neither,” he mumbled, turning away towards the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stayed in the shadows as he moved. He tiptoed around everything professionally, using shortcuts and back alleys to avoid Inseong thinking he was following him. He kept his head down, his hood over his hair. His mask poked at his side, secured to the inner fabric of his jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had waited at the cafe to follow Inseong home, but the boy didn’t leave the cafe until quite some time after closing. Sanghyuk waited regardless, watching him with piqued interest as he left, making his way down the streets. He didn’t go home, though. He was going somewhere else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk kept his hands shoved in the pockets of his coat as he followed the boy, becoming a near professional at watching others by this point. Inseong didn’t look back to see him once. He was too far away to hear him, if he said anything, and directly behind him, so he couldn’t see his facial expressions, but the way he held his shoulders was reserved. His neck caved into his shoulders, his head facing down to the pavement he walked on. He didn’t look nearly as confident as he had seemed this morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Inseong pulled out his phone, Sanghyuk pulled out his own. He dialed Chanhee’s number quickly, and the boy picked up like he had been waiting for the call. Inseong lifted his phone to his ears. “Chanhee, connect my earpiece to Inseong’s phone. He’s on a phone call.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When you said you were finding out what was going on, you weren’t kidding,” Chanhee mumbled into the call, quickly hanging up. Sanghyuk pulled his ear piece out of his pocket, hooking it around his ear and turning it on, waiting. It clicked on quickly, and Sanghyuk smiled at the speed Chanhee pulled off his little magic trick with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within seconds, the voices connected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” It was Inseong’s voice, but it sounded even more devastated than Sanghyuk had ever heard it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong, get it together,” Jaeyoon told him from the other end of the call. Sanghyuk could picture the man rolling his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had a rough day, so fuck off and don’t tell me what to do,” Inseong spat at him. Sanghyuk felt a buzz from his phone after Inseong spoke, looking down to see a text message from Chanhee. He opened it without hesitation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[</span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn. You weren’t kidding about how they treat each other when they’re alone.</span>
  </em>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course Chanhee was listening in, too. Sanghyuk wasn’t even surprised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You always have bad days because you constantly make yourself miserable,” Jaeyoon retorted, placing all blame on Inseong, who merely scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As if you have no hand in it whatsoever,” Inseong fired back, huffing. “You know? I find it funny how you constantly pretend to have no blame in this situation when you’re the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> reason my life is a living hell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to tell me off, do it to my face instead of over the phone, Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like to see and speak to you as little as possible, but you can’t seem to stop calling me every other hour. Fuck off,” Inseong spat back at him, pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call. The connection in Sanghyuk’s earpiece quickly cut out, but Sanghyuk didn’t lift his hand to remove it just yet, hearing the sound of it clicking back on within seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck was that?” Chanhee asked, knowing Sanghyuk didn’t have the microphone enabled right now, and wouldn’t speak out loud anyways. It was more rhetorical, so Chanhee could vent his feelings. “I mean you told me it was bad but… holy shit. When you said they were rude to each other I didn’t think you meant like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk huffed with an amused smile, only because Chanhee was finally realizing how right he had been. “But hey, did you notice how Inseong only mentioned having a rough day?” he continued on as Sanghyuk continued walking at a gentle pace behind Inseong. “I don’t think he told Jaeyoon about you knowing. I don’t know why. If he got mad before, wouldn’t that mean him and Jaeyoon were in on their secret together? It doesn’t sound like they are, though. Man, I’m confused. Okay… uhm… text me when you’re done I guess. Call me if you need me to hack into his phone again,” he added, quickly clicking off the connection between the two ear pieces. Sanghyuk finally reached up to pull his off, placing it back into the pocket of his jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he returned his eyes to Inseong, he noticed he wasn’t in front of him anymore. Sanghyuk had literally taken his eyes off of him for one fucking second, where the hell did he go?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk began to panic, moving forward quickly and shifting his body to be closer to the buildings on his right as he looked around. Inseong wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere. He couldn’t have run ahead quickly enough, so the only place he could have gone was-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get your hands off me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk froze, pinning himself against the wall. He was directly next to a small alley in between two shifty looking buildings, and aside from the car making their way down the street, he could hear feet shuffling further and further down the alley. He risked peaking around the corner when he couldn’t hear the voice anymore, finding the alley to be empty. He pushed himself into it quickly, creeping his way down it. At the end of the alley was another alley, this one going horizontally in between a lane of buildings. Sanghyuk quickly moved all the way to the end of it before reaching into the pockets of his jacket. He pulled out a small circular mirror that he had forgotten to take out a few missions ago. He mentally thanked himself for being the most forgetful person on the planet before holding his hand out gently, holding the mirror at just the perfect angle to see around the corner without giving himself away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong was pinned to the wall by three muscular looking men, all smirking at him devilishly. Sanghyuk planted his feet to the ground as he watched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We know who you are pretty boy,” one of them purred at him, and it was obvious by the sound of his slurred speech how drunk he was. Inseong’s wince at the apparent smell of his breath attested to that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great. So you can let me go now,” Inseong told them strictly, trying to pull himself away from the wall with no success. Sanghyuk could see Inseong trying to keep up his courage, but with the men crowding around him like that, he was becoming more and more scared. They inched towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wanted to step in and help Inseong, but there were so many reasons he knew he couldn’t. Inseong didn’t want to see him. If he realized Sanghyuk was following him, he’d ask why. Sanghyuk couldn’t answer that. He couldn’t go in and help him with his mask on either. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jaeyoon was his hero and would save him, not Dawon. But even if he called Jaeyoon now, how fast would the boy be able to get here? Would Jaeyoon even care?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes focused back on the mirror, watching as one of the men grabbed Inseong’s arm, pulling him roughly. Sanghyuk felt the blood rushing to his face as he watched panic flash across Inseong’s face before he was pulled roughly back by another one of the men. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get </span>
  <em>
    <span>away</span>
  </em>
  <span> from me!” Inseong spat at them before they more or less slammed him back into the wall. The look on his eyes was so terrified that it scared Sanghyuk, too, and before he knew it, he was pulling his mask over his head, shedding his coat and pulling the smoke bomb off of his belt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dropped the mirror to the ground, moving into the alley silently. Inseong barely had a chance to register who he was seeing before Sanghyuk released the pin of the smoke bomb, tossing it into the group of men and clouding the area with smoke. He grabbed the hair of one man quickly, wrapping his arm around his neck and pushing in the back of his legs, bringing him to the ground easily. He kicked his leg up at another one of the guys, grabbing his wrist and pulling it over before twisting that guy down to his knees as well. Drunk men were almost too easy to take down. He moved onto the third guy, emerging from the smoke that filled the alley and jabbing his elbow into his chest as hard as he could. The guy tried to fight back and defend himself, but the alcohol made that less than possible for him. Sanghyuk had him knocked down to the ground in seconds, stepping harshly on his ankles. The man screamed out in pain, but Sanghyuk didn’t stop. He leaned forward, staring the guy down. He couldn’t speak. No matter how much he wanted to, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing he could do now was speak. Inseong was right behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m sorry!” the man screamed, his eyes nearly popping out of his head as he stared up at Dawon. Sanghyuk didn’t move, waiting. “He’s- we’ll- we’ll never touch Inseong again! He’s all yours!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just like that, Sanghyuk released him, watching the three cowards stumble to their feet and run in the opposite direction. He permitted himself a simple smirk as he watched the pigs run like terrified children away from him before looking down at the ground, gently kicking the smoke bomb away from him. The cloud of dissipating smoke followed it, clearing the air around him a bit more. As the whiteness of the smoke faded away, what was left was Inseong staring at him wide eyed from behind it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, everything seemed to fall completely silent. The world around them drifted to a complete stop and the only thing left was Sanghyuk’s heart beating in his chest. He found himself staring at Inseong, just as Inseong stared at him. The smoke around them faded away with the breeze, and everything else went still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like he was all the way back in September, watching Inseong stare at him like he was a wonder instead of something to be afraid of. Only it was definitely not September anymore. A lot had changed since then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were following me,” Inseong concluded easily. Sanghyuk didn’t even dare open his mouth. He didn’t reply in any way. He didn’t even nod his head. He simply let Inseong continue watching him, unable to read him without a facial expression. The consequences of running away now would be worse than standing still where he was, and that was really the only thing keeping him there. The silence around them felt deafening. Inseong looked him over completely, eyeing every inch of him with interest instead of fear. Why wasn’t he afraid of him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… are you here to kidnap me again?” Inseong asked, raising his eyebrows at him. “Or are you just going to stare at me like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opted to just stare at him, and it seemed Inseong easily understood that as his answer. He nodded, accepting it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you at least going to say something?” Inseong asked. It was weird to see him so calm right now. Inseong was rarely even this calm and collected around him without the mask, so how was he so at ease now? Dawon was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>villain</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Inseong should have been terrified like everyone else! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong sighed, kicking his feet at the ground. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he begged, closing his eyes tightly. Sanghyuk was almost taken aback by it, parting his lips to reply before biting them harshly. “Just do… do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled, taking in Inseong’s words. And as soon as he was finished speaking, Sanghyuk followed his request. He did something. He turned around and began to walk away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon!” Inseong called out after him. He hated the way he stopped moving at the sound of his voice as destroyed as it was. He hated the fact that his entire body filled with some sort of fear as he listened to Inseong beg him to stay. “Why are you leaving?! You followed me here, right?!” Inseong asked, his voice pained with scratches like he was clawing at his own throat. “You came here and then saved me but you’re just leaving now?! You’re- you’re supposed to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt tears forming in his eyes as Inseong screamed at him. He couldn’t stop it from happening and he couldn’t bring himself to move forwards or backwards. He wanted to leave but his feet felt glued to the ground as Inseong cried out at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard Inseong taking a single step forward, but even then, he didn’t move. “You’re supposed to kidnap me and torture me for information! You’re supposed to torment me and make my life miserable!” he continued to scream. Sanghyuk felt one tear drop down his cheek as he listened to Inseong scream in complete agony. It was so hard to listen to it when he knew he couldn’t say anything in return. “You’re supposed to be the villain!” Inseong continued, sobs coughing up from his lungs as he screamed, broken. “Why aren’t you being the villain?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk let another tear fall down his cheek before pulling his feet from their place on the ground. He pushed himself to keep walking, focusing on the fact that he had no business being there in the first place. He had to leave. Sanghyuk was the villain and he couldn’t stay to comfort Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound came from Inseong, but it didn’t sound like him. It came with a heavy sob and the sound of Inseong collapsing to the ground behind him. More tears fell down Sanghyuk’s cheeks as he spun around to face the boy against his better judgement. Inseong’s fingers braced against the dirt beneath him, tears streaming down his face now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Inseong begged, his voice broken like shattered glass as he choked out his words. He lifted his bloodshot eyes to see Dawon. “I- I need </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his lip quivering from behind his mask as tears spilled over. His skin went cold as he stared down at Inseong. He was finally asking for help but Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> help him. He couldn’t do anything as Dawon. He couldn’t help him. He couldn’t do anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s face twitched into fear as Sanghyuk hesitantly took a step back, and Inseong’s eyes went wide, his lips parting in shock. Sanghyuk took another shaky step back, his heart ripping at the seams at the desperate look Inseong was giving him. Inseong needed help… and the one time he was asking, Sanghyuk was running away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- no don’t run away!” Inseong called at him as Sanghyuk took another step back. Sanghyuk’s eyes widened as Inseong pushed himself to his feet. “Please! I’m losing </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I lost the one person that was willing to help me today and I can’t fucking do it anymore!” Inseong continued to scream, his hands clutching his chest. “I- I can’t do it anymore. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t know why he was shaking his head as tears continued to stream down his face. He was scared for all the wrong reasons as he continued to back away. He wanted to tell Inseong he was sorry but he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So he backed away more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s face twitched into desperate panic as Sanghyuk turned away from him again. That was his mistake. Of all the things he could have done, the last thing he should have done was turn away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second he wasn’t looking, Inseong’s feet pounded against the dirt. Sanghyuk barely had enough time to turn around again before Inseong was crashing into him, sending them both flying to the ground. Inseong was on top of him now and Sanghyuk had never panicked more in his life. He pushed Inseong off him harshly, as much as he would to Jaeyoon, but Inseong didn’t even bat an eye, grabbing his arm and pulling him right back down to the ground. Sanghyuk pushed him away again, but Inseong was quicker. He grabbed the edge of his mask, pulling it away from his face and flinging it against the wall to his side. Sanghyuk panicked. He pulled his hood down over his face as Inseong held him to the ground. He covered his face with his arms, pressing his nose into the dirt. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he felt his heart racing in his chest. He didn’t have his under mask on. He didn’t have </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> mask on anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to do. He had no options left. Inseong curled his fingers around his shoulder, and Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to swing his arm back, pushing him away. He had to run.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk quickly pulled himself to his feet, holding his hoodie around his face, but Inseong was too quick to grab his leg again, sending him tumbling into the ground again. Inseong grabbed his arm before he could catch his breath, and with all the strength he had in him, Inseong turned Sanghyuk over, pinning him to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The look on Inseong’s face was a look Sanghyuk, never in his life, wanted to see. He could feel himself panicking, his heart racing and his breath coming in and out in choppy waves. But he didn’t feel like he was panicking. Inseong’s wide-eyed look settled under Sanghyuk’s skin. He registered the way Inseong’s fingers loosened around his arms. Inseong stopped crying for the moment, and so did Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Game over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You…” Inseong whispered, looking down at him with trembling lips and disbelief written across his expression. Sanghyuk wanted to say sorry. He wanted to apologize and try to fix everything. He didn’t. He knew it was too late. There was no use in apologizing now when it was beyond fixable anyways. After all, what else could he expect when someone he cared about found out who he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> was?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s shocked expression shifted, his lips tightening into a line and his tears drying up. He looked confused. He looked distraught. He looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You lied to me,” he mumbled, staring down at him. Sanghyuk didn’t react. “That day you approached me at the park… you said you didn’t know who I was. You-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I used you,” Sanghyuk spat, not even looking him in the eyes anymore. He looked past him, absentmindedly. He wanted the words to sting his tongue when he spoke them, but they didn’t. They didn’t burn at all. Everything just felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>numb</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He shifted his eyes, meeting Inseong’s with a hard look. He wanted to say it felt weird to meet his eyes as Dawon now, considering that’s all he would ever be to the boy now, but it didn’t. It didn’t feel like anything at all. “I used you to get information on Jaeyoon,” he repeated, moving his hands in one swift movement to reach Inseong’s chest, pushing him away. Inseong fell back, tumbling against the ground beneath him, never breaking eye contact with Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk sat up, still staring at him emptily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… I… I trusted you,” Inseong mumbled, expression shifting to betrayal and blame. Sanghyuk didn’t even care anymore. He did betray him. He was to blame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What a fool you were to do that,” Sanghyuk spat at him, pulling himself to his feet. He didn’t walk away, though. He wasn’t afraid to face Inseong anymore. He was numb to everything, even his own concerns. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to be kidding,” Inseong spat at him, pushing himself to his feet to meet him. Sanghyuk couldn’t explain it, but even with the height difference, he felt taller than Inseong. “Do you have nothing to say to me after this? I trusted you. I trusted you and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> I trusted you more than anyone else, and yet you still made me out to be an idiot!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you are,” Sanghyuk spat ruthlessly at him, meeting his gaze with cold, hard eyes. He took a step towards him, but Inseong didn’t back down. Somehow, it felt like they were on equal ground. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> an idiot. You pushed me out of your life and refused help from everyone to the point where you’re so broken that you can’t do anything to fix yourself anymore!” Sanghyuk cursed at him. “We told you over and over again-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet when I asked for help just now you turned away like a coward!” Inseong quipped at him, glaring down at him. “That’s all you are. You’re a coward. You hide behind your mask to do things you can’t bring yourself to do on your own! You don’t have any idea what you’re dealing with and you’re too distracted to figure anything out!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not distracted,” Sanghyuk told him sternly. “You’re just difficult. You made me care about you to the point where I just wanted to take down Jaeyoon to make sure you were safe, but this whole time you’ve just been playing pretend with him. I don’t even know what the fuck is going on anymore because you’re so difficult to deal with,” Sanghyuk yelled at him, getting in his face. Inseong didn’t back down, letting him. “I’ve spent all this time trying to fix your issues-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re not issues, it’s my </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Inseong spat back at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well your life is a fucking issue!” Sanghyuk continued, shouting. “We all tried so hard to help you through it but you played us all just like you played everyone else!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I played you?!” Inseong asked, blinking at him. “I literally just poured my heart out to you saying I need help! But suddenly I’m just as bad as Jaeyoon?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know!” Sanghyuk admitted, holding his arms out wide, as if displaying all the answers to the questions he had. His arms sat empty. “Because you didn’t fucking tell any of us! You just kept lying and playing pretend! So now none of us know what’s going on!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t pretend like you have any right to know,” Inseong spat at him, teeth bared. “Don’t talk about lying when you sat there this whole time getting close to me, pretending to be someone you’re not. I don’t even know if Sanghyuk is your real name! Is it just some alibi? What about Chanhee? Is he your real brother? Were Taeyang and Youngkyun in on it too? Did you take the job just to eavesdrop on my phone calls? What about that kiss? Was that just to play with my feelings even more?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can think whatever the fuck you want,” Sanghyuk spat at him in a low voice, his chest burning from screaming so much. “But I said I cared for you and I meant it. My name is Lee Sanghyuk, and Chanhee is my brother. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hardly</span>
  </em>
  <span> lied to you about my life. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> framed for being Dawon at one point, but the media was stupid enough to believe Chanhee in a mask was Dawon instead of me.” Inseong’s expression went blank as Sanghyuk spit the truth out of him like he had no reason to keep it inside anymore. Sanghyuk took a step forward. “Your turn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My turn?” Inseong asked back in an offended manner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m Dawon,” Sanghyuk confessed openly. “Lee Sanghyuk. Youngkyun knows, and has known this whole time. Chanhee’s in on it. So yeah, it’s your turn. You know my truth so let me hear yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re despicable,” Inseong spat at him, but Sanghyuk barely batted an eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here’s what I know,” Sanghyuk continued, ignoring any and all of Inseong’s protests. “I know you and Jaeyoon are not and never were a real couple.” He lifted one finger as he spoke, holding it out for Inseong to see. “I know you were scared of him at some point,” he continued, raising another finger. “I know Jaeyoon knows who Anonymous is, and that Anonymous has been pulling all of those stunts pretending to be me lately. So why don’t you just go and fill in the blanks for me? You said you needed help? I’ll still help you. I’ll take Jaeyoon down so you can leave and never have to worry about any of us ever again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think I would tell you anything after all of this?” Inseong asked with a hard glare. “I’d rather watch you slowly fade away as everything around you falls apart. I thought you were a good guy. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought you were.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grimaced at Inseong’s implication, stepping towards him with an angry stare. “Look me in the eyes and say it,” Sanghyuk challenged him in a deep voice. “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m worse than Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time since the argument started, Sanghyuk felt like his heart had been shot with an arrow. He didn’t show it, but he couldn’t bring himself to reply to Inseong’s comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong continued glaring at him. “Did you hear what I just said?” he challenged ruthlessly. “I said you’re worse than Jaeyoon. You, Lee Sanghyuk, are the worst of them all.” Inseong took another step towards him, pushing him back with the tips of his fingers. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the bad guy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the villain.” Inseong pushed him back with both hands this time, sending him flying to the ground and barely catching himself with his hands. Inseong didn’t seem even a little phased, watching him with malice in his eyes. “And you always will be.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong walked past him, glaring at him until he had gone by him completely. He left without saying another word, walking back out into the world with everything he knew and not doing a damn thing about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sanghyuk, slowly, curled in on himself. And after every word of the argument had replayed in his head, he started to cry again. He curled up into a ball and just let himself cry.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Completely Torn Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hadn’t gone home that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee had called at least over fifty times, but Sanghyuk just shut his phone off. He didn’t want the boy to get any ideas about tracking him. He even considered dropping the device off a bridge just so he’d never have to listen to the tune of another horrendous phone call again in his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost went to a bar, but when he got there all he could remember was the drunk men going after Inseong and the thought disgusted him to the point where he felt sick. He didn’t want a drink now or ever again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had gone to a small bridge for a while, resting his arms on the railings of it and just letting the wind run through his hair, hoping maybe the cold and bitter feeling would either make him feel better or numb him even more. It just made him feel worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to feel better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Sanghyuk looked down into the water below the bridge, he genuinely considered jumping into it. How cold it would feel completely surrounding him. He wanted that feeling. To feel numb, just like Inseong said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he had shed a few more tears by the bridge, he let himself just saunter down the streets, arms wrapped around his cold body in any attempt to give himself warmth. Some people looked as they passed him, but honestly he didn’t even give them the light of day. They didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must have walked around for about an hour until his feet were pulsing with pain, burning from the cold. Even walking constantly couldn’t save him from the hell that was cold toes. He had no idea what time it was by the time he found the familiar doors of a place he was used to. He didn’t go inside though. Instead, he opened the door to the familiar car, closing it behind him and curling up in the back seat. There was a soft blanket on the floor that he used to cover himself with, fading into a dreamless sleep, curled up in the back seat of his friend’s car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He woke up again to the sound of the car running, feeling the steady purr of the engine around him. His blurry vision barely registered the sight of street lights flashing by one by one before the drone of the engine cradled him right back to sleep. He was so exhausted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He woke up again in a dark room, squished between the cushions of a couch and the fabric of a soft blanket. His head curled into the pillow beneath his head, and without giving his location a second thought, he let himself drift off once again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he woke up again hours later, the first thing he saw when opening his eyes was Chanhee’s gentle frame curled up on the floor next to the couch Sanghyuk was asleep on. Of course he had called Chanhee. Sanghyuk shifted on the couch gently, staring down at his brother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he mumbled under his breath, blinking gently at the boy as he settled back into a comfortable position. “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stayed awake, sitting still on the couch until he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. He shot up from the ouch, staring at the boy in front of him who was just a complete mess of tired sleep. Youngbin looked at him gently and understandingly under a fluff of bed head. Sanghyuk offered him a small smile before pointing down to Chanhee, pressing his finger against his lips. Youngbin nodded tiredly, moving over to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled himself up from the couch, stepping carefully around his sleeping brother. He tiptoed across the floor, over to the kitchen area where Youngbin was currently making a cup of tea. Sanghyuk deflated onto the chair by the small table next to the kitchen, resting his head on his arms. After a few minutes, he heard the delicate sound of a cup being slid across the table towards him. He opened his eyes, finding a simple white mug barely grazing the tips of his fingers. He lifted his head to see Youngbin standing in front of him, a sad smile on his face. Without even saying a word, it seemed like Youngbin understood, at least to some degree, how upset he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Sanghyuk could stop himself, he was tearing up again. He looked down sadly to the mug of tea, lips pulling back as tears began to pool in his eyes. And as the first tear fell, Youngbin knelt by his side, enveloping him in his arms. Sanghyuk leaned into him, resting his head on his shoulder and just letting himself cry again. His fingers wrapped around his back, holding onto him so he wouldn’t be able to leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled away from Youngbin, staring over at Chanhee as the boy gently rose from the floor, looking over him with the most concerned look Sanghyuk had ever seen from him. Sanghyuk attempted to wipe the tears from his eyes, but Chanhee had definitely already seen how bloodshot and puffy they were. Slowly, Chanhee rose from the floor, making his way over to the group of them. He pulled Sanghyuk to face him before wrapping his arms around his neck, holding him close. Sanghyuk melted into his touch, returning the hug easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened Hyuk?” Chanhee asked gently, reaching up with one hand to stroke Sanghyuk’s hair, smoothing it out against his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled, pulling Chanhee closer. “He found out who I am,” he whispered through a cracked voice, just barely loud enough for the two of them to hear. He hid his face in Chanhee’s chest, feeling the tears still pooling in his eyes as he thought about it. He hid his face more. “Inseong knows I’m Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard Youngbin gasp from behind them as he felt Chanhee’s grip around him tighten. Sanghyuk shook his head as he continued to cry, trying to focus on Chanhee brushing his hair, but it was so hard to just focus on one thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you explain to him that you care about him?” Chanhee asked with a soft voice, but the question just made Sanghyuk feel worse, guilt building in his chest as he shook his head into Chanhee’s chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said really bad things to him,” Sanghyuk confessed weakly, tears drenching the spot on Chanhee’s shirt. Sanghyuk sniffled, but it didn’t do much to help. “We both got so mad and we were yelling at each other. And- and he- I just… I let him go and I didn’t even try to stop him,” Sanghyuk explained poorly through his cries, letting all his weight fall onto Chanhee. “It hurts,” he finally confessed, closing his eyes tightly as he heaved through his tears. “Chanhee I really care about him but he- it’s- I fucked everything up and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> fix it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So many people had warned him this would happen, so why hadn’t he listened? Chanhee, more than anyone, had told him what a disaster it would be when Inseong found out, and now here he was, crying because that exact thing had happened. Inseong had found out about his identity… and there was just no taking that back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had been quiet for most of the day. They played simple card games to keep Sanghyuk’s mind busy, and for the most part it worked. Neither of them pushed him to talk, and honestly it must have been so shocking to hear him so quiet for once. Sanghyuk didn’t really feel like talking for the first time in maybe ever. It felt weird to keep his voice to himself for once, but not bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t see it, but Sanghyuk could tell the boys were trying hard to make him feel better. They played happy music and Youngbin danced around goofily to it in the kitchen while he made lunch. Chanhee took a marker and drew all over Sanghyuk’s hand, too, which he definitely didn’t mind because Chanhee drew adorable things all over his skin. He drew a fat sheep on the side of his hand and the solar system along the length of his arm. He even drew Dawon’s mask with a tongue sticking out on his wrist which he found ironically funny. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Around midday, a knock came at the door, following Youngkyun holding a box filled with different flavors of ice cream. Sanghyuk wouldn’t admit it, but it made him really happy to see Youngkyun standing there with a beaming smile on his face, bringing treats just to cheer Sanghyuk up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who called you over?” Sanghyuk asked, quickly jumping up to meet him. Youngkyun smiled, moving forward and wrapping his one free arm around him in a hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck do you think? Chanhee, of course,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh, backing away and presenting the bag of ice creams to him. Sanghyuk took it eagerly, peeking inside and marvelling at the different flavors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Taeyang let you out of the house?” Youngbin asked, raising his eyebrows in astonishment at the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Right now I’m technically at home, and right before Taeyang gets home I’ll have left for physical therapy. Juho is covering for me,” he admitted shyly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So sneaky,” Chanhee told him with a smirk, reaching into the bag of ice creams and pulling out his favorite flavor. Youngbin reached in next, helping himself and racing over to the kitchen to grab some spoons for the group of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun smiled gently, closing the door behind him. He slipped off his shoes before meeting eyes with Sanghyuk. His smile fell into a less cheerful one, but rather one of support. “Chanhee told me what happened,” he admitted, his eyes falling to the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for coming,” Sanghyuk cut him off quickly with a smile. It was a real smile, too, because he really was happy to have Youngkyun there with him. He moved forward, wrapping his arms around the boy. “I’m happy to have my family with me,” he confessed quietly. Youngkyun returned the hug easily, resting his chin on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They moved on quickly, the four of them sitting around in a circle, ice cream in their laps. They all sat criss-crossed on the floor playing silly games together. Sanghyuk guessed he had cried so much that it was just so easy to get distracted. He found himself laughing surrounded by his friends, rolling on the ground and stuffing his face with ice cream. </span>
  <span>Honestly, he had forgotten how much support he, too, had around him. Watching Inseong constantly act like he had nobody to support him made Sanghyuk forget all the people he had supporting </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. None of his friends had hesitated to come over and comfort him, despite warning him how things would turn out. They didn’t blame him, hold anything against him, or blame him. They were just there for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, listening to his family laugh and smile around him. These people all cared about him for some odd reason, and despite how strongly he felt that he didn’t deserve it, he was so incredibly glad to have them all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s where Sanghyuk got his confidence from. The people that supported him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So in a lull in their laughter and distractions, Sanghyuk decided to say something to the group of them he hadn’t ever anticipated himself being ready to say. </span>
  <span>“I think I want to stop being Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone around him had gone quiet as his confession, looking at him with expressions made out of shock and concern. But Sanghyuk just kept smiling to himself, playing with his fingers in his lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are… are you serious?” Youngbin spoke up first, his voice cutting through a silence nobody else was confident enough to break through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk found himself nodding contently, a small smile gracing his lips. “I’m serious,” he confirmed, finally looking up. They all stared at him expectantly, wide eyed. Sanghyuk couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face in that moment. He sighed, content to get that off his chest. “I think… I’m done being Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Even with everything still going on?” Chanhee asked, subtly hinting about everything that they still hadn’t figured out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk found himself shrugging, looking back down to his lap. “I guess I just don’t see how any of that is my problem anymore,” he confessed quietly. “I mean… there’s still a lot going on, and I won’t ignore it. But… I don’t want to play this game anymore. I don’t want to… </span>
  <em>
    <span>be</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m proud of you,” Youngkyun spoke up, sending a small smile his way. “Dawon has always pulled you down. I think you deserve to feel detached from it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled to himself, finally turning to Chanhee. The boy sat next to him, a wide smile spreading across his face as he met his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Chanhee told him gently. “I’m proud of you, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, leaning his head on Chanhee’s shoulder comfortably. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… proud of me, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was one of those dreams where Sanghyuk knew he was dreaming, but he still couldn’t control anything. No matter how many times he repeated to himself that he was dreaming, he didn’t wake up. It was obnoxious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dawon sat across from him, clad in his mask with the signature white streak through his hair. Sanghyuk sat across from him at a metal table in an empty room filled with all different shades of grey. To say it was unsettling was an understatement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A mirror stood halfway through the table. It spanned the whole wall which stretched as far as Sanghyuk could see. It went as high as he could look, too. But Dawon sat on the other side of the mirror, staring at him. He moved differently than Sanghyuk, too. </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s hands were folded up on the table, but Dawon’s hands rested on his lap. Sanghyuk’s head stood straight up while Dawon’s tilted to the left. </span>
  <span>And yet, when Sanghyuk raised one of his hands, Dawon raised his mirrored hand to follow him without a second wasted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must have been stuck in that infinite room for a while before anything happened. Dawon spoke first. “You’re such a coward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, dropping his hand. “I don’t want to hear it,” he told him, shaking his head. “Not from you or anybody else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s right in front of you but you’re running away from it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not running away from anything,” Sanghyuk retorted confidently. “It takes more strength to put an end to something than to run away from it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet you aren’t putting an end to what’s right in front of you,” Dawon spat at him. Even with the mask covering his face, Sanghyuk felt like the other half was glaring at him. His tone was rude and harsh, filled with spite and malice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what exactly would that be?” Sanghyuk asked, simply raising his brows at the boy. “Go on. Tell me what I’m missing as if you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is still hurting Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “That’s none of my-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t lie to me and say it’s out of your hands!” Dawon boomed at him, standing and slamming his palms down on the table creating an ungodly bang that echoed continuously throughout his dream, slowly fading away but never completely ceasing. Sanghyuk didn’t flinch, as if he had expected Dawon to do that. “As long as Jaeyoon is around, everything affected by him is your responsibility. Don’t wipe your hands clean and pretend they were never dirty to begin with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk watched him with labored breaths as Dawon slowly returned to his seat at the table, this time assuming Sanghyuk’s prior position. He folded his hands on the table and held his head up straight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do anything,” Sanghyuk denied quickly, but Dawon didn’t believe it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can do </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m not willing to,” Sanghyuk fired back quickly, staring the masked boy down. “It’s not my job to pick up Jaeyoon’s messes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You allowed him to make messes in the first place, so what right do you have letting him run free now?” Dawon spat back at him. Sanghyuk was beginning to feel anger surrounding him as the walls of the room slowly faded to darker and darker shades of grey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not my fault,” Sanghyuk told him definitively with a hard glare. “Jaeyoon could have chosen anyone to make him a hero. I didn’t create Anonymous. I didn’t start whatever he and Inseong are doing. I didn’t start </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you deny that you are the only person with the ability to end it, though?” Dawon asked, leaning forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely!” Sanghyuk replied immediately, pushing himself to his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then list off the people that could do it instead of you,” Dawon challenged, but Sanghyuk was already prepared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who says anyone has to stop it? At this point, why not just let it happen?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room around him flashed to black with a click and everything in his vision faded away from him. Dawon faded into the blackness surrounding him, but it didn’t matter. Sanghyuk could still </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. He could sense the aura around him, his breathing, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>heartbeat</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything went silent, and before Sanghyuk could blink he felt every hair on the back of his neck stand straight up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’ve let everything happen up until now, and it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>tearing you apart.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked, finding himself back in the lit room sitting across from Dawon again. In front of him, on the metal table, laid three pictures, each one showing Jaeyoon with his dad as a kid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, looking up to Dawon. “Don’t let it just happen,” Dawon told him, forcing Sanghyuk’s eyes back down to the pictures. “You have to </span>
  <b>
    <em>understand</em>
  </b>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked into each of the pictures, but he couldn’t see anything but Jaeyoon. He had seen the pictures before. There was nothing he could find in the pictures. They were just pictures! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You, of </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> people, should </span>
  <b>
    <em>understand</em>
  </b>
  <span>,” Dawon spat at him. Sanghyuk felt pain rushing at his head as he stared down at the pictures. He had to notice something. He was missing something, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should know…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon wasn’t smiling in any of the pictures. His posture stood straight and rigid, like he was afraid to stray from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... how to tell…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His father looked down condescendingly at him. His smile in public was nothing but professional, but he never smiled like a real kid in any pictures with his dad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... if it’s a mask…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never stood directly next to his father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... why they’re wearing the mask…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... and what could come from wearing that mask for too long…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk jolted awake, his face completely drenched in sweat as he stared out at the pitch black room. His heart was beating so heavily in his chest that he thought it might burst out and kill him then and there. He couldn’t control his own breathing. Dawon’s voice—his own voice—echoed inside his head, screaming at him to be heard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew what was missing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shot out of his bed, running for the door to his room. He threw it open with a bang, not caring how loud the noise he made was. He marched out into the living room of his apartment, quickly grabbing his computer and pulling up every possible picture he could find of Jaeyoon when he was a kid. He heard Chanhee’s feet approaching from the hallway, but he couldn’t stop. His mind was absolutely racing. He grabbed the small tin of pins he kept from the wall they had set up when people were still going missing. He took the now printed pictures and tacked them up to the wall, grabbing sticky notes and jotting small notes onto them and adding them to the right pictures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee watched with tired eyes, slumping down into a chair behind him and just watching him. Sanghyuk never stopped to look at him, though. He had a pen cap stuck between his teeth as he went from picture to picture, circling the details. He tied red strings around the pictures that showed him what he wanted to know, connecting them with the others. Before he knew it, almost every picture he had printed was attached to red thread, and his wall was nothing but a mess of thread and papers. His eyes burned from the work, not having a clock around to tell him how long he had been at it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk scoffed, taking a step back from his work. “How did I not see it before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See what?” Chanhee asked with a yawn, looking over the wall. Sanghyuk’s head snapped over to him, watching carefully as the tired boy looked disinterestedly over the wall. “All I see is a shit ton of thread.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look at the pictures,” Sanghyuk mumbled, bells ringing in his head as he connected the dots. His eyes stared across the wall as if that alone was helping him make everything make sense. “Look at Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about him?” Chanhee asked with another yawn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s never happy.” Sanghyuk moved over to the wall, pointing to one specific picture. “This smile. It’s the one Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> used when he had to hide something. It’s fake. It’s his </span>
  <em>
    <span>mask</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Sanghyuk moved over to another picture. “He wears long sleeves in the summer and never any shirt that exposes his collarbone. He still doesn’t. Have you ever seen Jaeyoon wearing a revealing shirt? I haven’t.” He pointed to another picture. “He doesn’t stand close to his father. He stands far away from him to keep a distance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk took a deep breath, turning to Chanhee. “Jaeyoon’s father beat him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee woke up with a sharp snap at Sanghyuk’s words, actually looking into the pictures Sanghyuk pointed out now. He looked over them carefully, eyes going wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… he beat Jaeyoon as a kid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk this isn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look!” Sanghyuk told him, gesturing to the pictures. “I don’t have proof, but it’s right there! Remember at the funeral home when I pulled your shirt off? You showed me the bruises you had. Jaeyoon destroying his father’s memorial? You know that whole factually proven thing that abused children are likely to become abusers, too? I don’t even know if that’s true or not, just throwing that out there while we’re at it. And- and what about Jaeyoon never visiting his dad’s grave or memorial? Jaeyoon never talks about his father. He wanted to become a hero to outshine his father. Chanhee, look at me and tell me it doesn’t make sense!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It…” Chanhee began, but he couldn’t continue. He couldn’t say anything to prove Sanghyuk wrong. “What does this have to do with anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk expression sunk as he took a step back, staring at the wall. “It means now we’ll know if we’re right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right about what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why they’re pretending to be a couple,” Sanghyuk whispered, still staring emptily at the wall in front of him. “Once we find an explanation, we’ll be able to rationalize it. We know Jaeyoon’s past now. So if we find an explanation, we won’t have to wonder about his past to make it make sense. We already know his past now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, following his eyes to the wall. “I thought you said you were done being Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, unable to tear his eyes away from the pictures. “Just… just until this ends. And then I’ll stop. I swear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stared at the buildings passing by him, a faint smile pressing against his lips. They towered over the car, passing by in flashes through the back window. Sanghyuk leaned his arm on the side and sighed contently, just watching them go by. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>News stations all over the country were going absolutely crazy right now. From the small flashes of lights through store windows, Sanghyuk could see the stories playing on dozens of tvs across the district. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon and Inseong would be attending a new year’s party tonight and everyone was wondering what Dawon would do. They wanted to know how he would crash the party or how he would sabotage it all. But Dawon wasn’t going to be there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled to himself, taking a deep breath and letting himself exhale slowly. Sanghyuk had other plans. For the first time in a really long time, he felt like he could make his own plans without thinking about what Jaeyoon was doing first. He found himself not even caring what Jaeyoon was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, quickly pulling it out and pressing it to his ear while the taxi driver turned off the music politely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Tae,” Sanghyuk greeted with an overwhelming smile, not that he could see it. He settled into the car seat, still looking out the window. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you gone to the store yet?” Taeyang asked, and by the sound of his voice Sanghyuk could tell he was on speaker phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m on my way there now,” Sanghyuk told him, looking out the other window to see the Han River to his left. He smiled at it before looking back out the window on the right, which he sat right next to. “Did you want to add something to the list?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re getting helium balloons right?” Taeyang asked, causing Sanghyuk to roll his eyes. “Because I need new videos of you and Chanhee drunk on helium.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the hell do you think I am?” Sanghyuk asked with a laugh. “Of course I’m getting helium balloons! It’s the first thing on my list!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, okay, you’re right I’m just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Sanghyuk spoke gently, his smile fading a bit. “Taeyang, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… I really want this party to be perfect, you know?” he asked, his voice small. He heard the sound of something metal shifting in the background and figured it was something on the stove. “It’s been so long since we’ve been able to get together and have fun like this and I just want it all to be… perfect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It will be,” Sanghyuk assured him with a returning smile, settling his eyes back on the passing buildings. “Everything is taken care of, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang made a noise of confirmation. “Youngbin and Chanhee are getting all the alcohol right now, which it definitely </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> my idea to send Chanhee on that pick up job, it was Youngbin’s!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk laughed, rolling his eyes. “I know, but Chanhee is more responsible than half of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Considering Juho and Seokwoo are coming to the party, I really don’t think we have any right to consider Chanhee one of the most responsible,” Taeyang mumbled, causing Sanghyuk to laugh. “By the way…” Taeyang began, his voice dropping a bit. “Is there something between Youngkyun and Seokwoo going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk furrowed his brows in confusion. “Not that I know of,” Sanghyuk admitted slowly. “Why? Don’t even try to think he’s cheating on you because-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, I know Kyun isn’t cheating on me,” Taeyang assured him gently, bringing another smile to Sanghyuk’s face. “We actually… there’s something we agreed to tell everyone tonight. So… I know he’s not cheating on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes went wide at Taeyang’s words, a chill of excitement racing over his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re adopting,” Sanghyuk whispered, his eyes going wide as his lips broke out into possibly the biggest smile he could manage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what?! No- no! Of course- no… I mean, I- how did you- no!” Taeyang stuttered nervously followed by Jangmi’s laugh in the background. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes just went even wider. “You’re adopting! Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe you’re finally adopting!” Sanghyuk cheered, his cheeks puffing out so much they began to ache. “You are! You’re really adopting!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not supposed to know that yet!” Taeyang hissed at him. Sanghyuk tried to stop his smile, but it was absolutely impossible at this point. Happiness overflowed him at the thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee and I get to be uncles, right? Right?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Yes! You and Chanhee will be uncles!” Taeyang hissed at him, bringing an even happier smile to Sanghyuk’s face. “But you can’t tell Youngkyun you know! He’ll kill me! You’re not supposed to know yet!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll act surprised!” Sanghyuk assured him with a quick nod. “I swear I won’t drop any hints that I know already! But oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taeyang you’re gonna be a dad!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a small silence on the call before Taeyang finally replied. “I know…” he spoke softly, his voice literally sounding like the smile Sanghyuk could picture plastered across his face. “Hyuk I’m so fucking excited. We talked about it last night and we’re definitely telling everyone tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, how long have you two been planning this?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since that whole thing with Xang was still going on,” Taeyang admitted with a laugh. Sanghyuk scoffed. “We were planning to wait until things calmed down a bit and I think they finally have. We won’t adopt until we’re absolutely sure that everything is calmed down, but seriously. We’re gonna be parents!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lips, not even letting himself think of all the things that still hadn’t been cleared up yet. He pushed them to the back of his mind, ignoring them. </span>
  <span>“I’m so fucking happy for you guys,” Sanghyuk admitted quietly, the smile unable to leave his face. “Where is Kyun now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At the bakery getting treats. He absolutely insisted he be the one to do it for some reason.” Sanghyuk nodded. Taeyang didn’t say it, but Sanghyuk knew without a doubt Youngkyun was going to Inseong’s bakery. “He should be back soon, and so should Chanhee and Binnie. So hurry up and get the decorations so you can come help set up, and don’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> say anything about what I just told you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk laughed, “I won’t.” He pulled the phone away from his ears with a short goodbye, shoving the phone back in his pocket with a happy smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations on becoming an uncle,” the driver told him with a nice smile on his face, pulling the car up to the curb outside the store. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk beamed at him happily, like he just wanted to brag to everyone that he was going to be an uncle now. He wanted everyone to know. “Thank you so much!” Sanghyuk told him happily, giggling to himself as he paid the driver. He added a big tip just because he was in such a good mood, smiling once more at him before stepping out of the car and closing the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk barely took one step onto the sidewalk before he was thrown violently to the ground. He wasn’t sure what happened but he knew he had lost his footing. His hands scrapped against the sidewalk to catch him as his whole body tumbled. People around him began screaming, falling to the ground and looking up with huge, wide eyes. That’s when Sanghyuk realized he had heard a sound when he fell, something he hadn’t registered at first out of shock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was an explosion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself up, turning around behind him. The first thing he saw was the huge cloud of dark grey smoke rising from the opening to Hangang bridge, growing every second as it consumed the air around it. He looked down to the actual bridge in front of him, lips parting in horror as he watched part of the bridge break away from the impact of the explosion, falling and crashing onto the roads underneath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was running before he could stop himself, arms tucking in by his side as he began pushing his way towards the bridge. He pushed by people that stood around watching in horror, not even muttering apologies as he evened his breathing, sprinting. He didn’t even look both ways before crossing the road in front of him, skidding to the other side and continuing forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he ran towards the scene he heard more and more screams. People on the roads beside him gasped in horror, screamed, and even pulled out their phones to film it. Car horns blared beneath collapsed rubble and people screamed for help from on top of and underneath the bridge. Smoke continued clouding around the area as concrete dust began settling on everything around it, ash and dust still floating around in the air. Sanghyuk pinched the neckline of his shirt and pulled it over his nose with barely any thought, racing into the cloud of dust and ash despite the screams that followed him doing so. He watched as people ran past him away from the disaster, but he just kept running forward, making sure to avoid crashing into any of them. Visibility dropped, and by the time he got as close to the bridge as he was now, he could only see a few meters in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ran forward, placing his hands on the hood of a crushed car and pushing himself over it instead of wasting the time to go around it. The neckline of his shirt fell away from his nose but he was quick to pull it back up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he ran forward, he heard a sound akin to cracking coming from above him. He spared one glance above him to the unstable bridge before immediately jumping out of the way, his body collapsing to the ground and skidding across concrete pebbles littering the road as a chunk bigger than his entire body fell from the bridge above, crashing into the ground. He didn’t waste time marveling at it, pushing himself up and moving further underneath the bridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first scream he heard sounded female, so he headed towards that one first. He found the car easily, crushed on one side and covered in concrete dust. He wiped it away from the window to see a mother in the front seat begging for help. A banging came from the back door as well meaning kids trapped in the backseat. He looked down at the door as the woman tried to pull on the handle. It was jammed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pressed his foot against the backseat door of the car, grabbing the handle to the front seat door and pulling it as hard as he could. It didn’t budge. He had a better idea anyway. He motioned to the mother to bring the kids into the front seat before grabbing a decent chunk of concrete with a metal rod sticking out of it. He threw it at the window as hard as he could, shattering it. He pulled off his jacket quickly, placing it over the edge of the window and using the concrete chunk to clear the rest of the glass sticking out. He grabbed the little kid’s hand, pulling her out first before gently helping the mother out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out of here!” he told them quickly, pushing them away as they cried thanks to him. He grabbed his jacket back, shaking the glass out of it as he moved further under the bridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Other people were gathering under the bridge now, helping the injured out of cars and trying to get everyone out from under it as quickly as they could. Sanghyuk ran to the side when he heard more screams, pulling chunks of concrete away from a man trapped beneath them, presumably having been trapped when he tried to run. His head and arms were covered in blood, but Sanghyuk didn’t point it out to the disoriented man. He waved his hand, quickly grabbing the attention of another stranger on his way out. The man didn’t hesitate to race over to him, hooking the injured man’s arm over his neck and quickly pulling him away. Sanghyuk moved on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his lungs burning from the concrete dust building up in them, but holding his shirt up was useless when he didn’t have a way to keep it there, so he stopped bothering. Crumbs and debris fell from the bridge above him and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the bridge wasn’t going to last. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk started running faster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly helped a man and woman out of their turned over car, directing them towards the exit and instructing them to run. Less and less people stayed under the bridge to help, but Sanghyuk refused to leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next car he went to had a woman sitting back against the seat, crying in pain. The door was already opened, but Sanghyuk didn’t dare touch her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be okay, miss,” Sanghyuk told her carefully, looking over her entire body. Nothing seemed wrong but that didn’t mean everything was okay. “I need you to do me a favor, can you do that?” Sanghyuk asked, tilting his head as the girl looked at him from the corner of her eyes. “I need you not to move, okay? Can you do that for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” a voice boomed at him. Sanghyuk raised his eyes to see paramedics and firefighters running in, glaring out at him. Sanghyuk was quick to wave them over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed one of their arms, pulling them over to the woman. “She needs a stretcher,” Sanghyuk explained, gesturing to her. “We need to stabilize her neck and back when we-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>out</span>
  </em>
  <span> of here!” the official boomed at him. The statement caused Sanghyuk to glare harshly at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> need to get her a god damn stretcher and get her out of here before the bridge collapses!” Sanghyuk told him with a stern look. “I'm certified in first aid and I’m trying to help. Do your job so we’re not wasting time. Get her a fucking stretcher,” Sanghyuk told him, giving him one last stern look before walking away, moving onto the next groan he could hear. The voice came from a small kid coughing up clouds of concrete dust. His leg was trapped under a heavy chunk of concrete complete with a pipe going through the middle of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk skidded to a stop, kneeling down beside him. “Hi, hi,” Sanghyuk told him gently, looking over his leg. “I’m gonna pull the rock off your leg, okay? Stay still.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It hurts!” the kid cried at him, so Sanghyuk nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” he told him gently, shaking off his jacket. He shook the concrete dust off of it before finding the sleeve, folding it over. He moved towards the kid. “Open up and bite on this,” he instructed. The kid nodded with teary eyes, opening his mouth and letting Sanghyuk place the sleeve of his jacket between the kid’s teeth. “Ready?” Sanghyuk asked, positioning his hands around the rock. “One,” he counted gently, looking up at the kid. What torture it would be to make a small kid expect oncoming pain. “Two!” he yelled, wrapping his fingers around the rock and pulling it off quickly, tossing it out of his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid screamed as he bit down on Sanghyuk’s jacket. The poor kid’s leg was crushed and bleeding heavily. With no other option and his jacket being too thick, Sanghyuk pulled his shirt off. He grabbed the long sleeves of it, sliding it under the kid’s leg and tying it as tightly as he could around the upper half of his leg as a makeshift torque. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid winced again when he did it, but to be honest Sanghyuk didn’t even care. He grabbed the kid by the sides, pulling him up gently and cradling him in his arms. And Sanghyuk ran. He ran as fast as he could without tripping himself up, trying his best to shield the kid’s head from falling rocks as the bridge groaned above him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna collapse!” Sanghyuk yelled back out under the bridge towards the paramedics. He kept running, dashing around cars and holding the kid’s head close to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GET OUT!” he heard the officials yell to each other. Sanghyuk pushed himself, running as fast as he could as his lungs burned. Stampedes of footsteps began rushing out from under the bridge as fast as they could. Sanghyuk felt his lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, and just as he made it out from under the bridge he heard a crack from above him. He kept running, but he barely made it. Chunks of the bridge fell behind him, crashing into the ground and creating a wave of dust and shock that sent Sanghyuk tumbling to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kid yelled in his arms as they both fell, and Sanghyuk cursed in an apology as he picked the kid up quickly again, pulling himself away. He kept running until he ran into a crowd of people surrounding the bridge. They caught him quickly, pulling him even farther back as the sound of rubble against rubble crashed behind him. Someone pulled the kid from his arms as he felt ready to fall to the ground himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned around with unsteady footing to watch the opening to Hangang bridge collapse in on itself. The concrete fell onto the road, crushing everything beneath it. Cars tumbled off the top into the Han River as the bridge continued collapsing until the next pillar holding it up. People ran back on the bridge itself as authorities began instructing rescue methods to get people out of the collapsed rubble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk knew he was breathing, but between how out of breath he already was and the dust filling his lungs, he felt like he wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My son!” he heard from behind himself. He turned around just in time to see a blood covered lady come running up to the boy he had brought out. She took him in her arms, crying as she held him to her chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself back, turning away to hide himself before anyone could recognize him for bringing the boy out. He pulled himself up the hill back to the upper road, his heart beating erratically in his chest. He didn’t stop, though. He pushed himself up until he felt like his limbs were going to detach out of exhaustion, and even then he forced himself back onto his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let himself catch his breath, looking down at the disaster from higher ground. His eyes focused on the part of the bridge that was gone, now, first. His eyes traced over the chunks of concrete that had fallen from the explosion. He watched the officials and authorities make orders and bring tools over to help clear the rubble. He watched medics treat those who they brought aside. He watched the crowds of people cry from the trauma of the event. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Over here!” someone called to Sanghyuk’s right. Sanghyuk looked up with unnecessary interest, following their voice and heading tiredly in the direction. People began gathering around, all of them clean and shaken up after watching from a distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd seemed to part for Sanghyuk as they saw him, covered in concrete dust and probably bleeding from a number of places. They let him forward, though he wasn’t even sure why he was moving forward in the first place. </span>
  <span>Finally, he saw what everyone else was looking at. His body froze up, blood draining from his face as his lungs just completely gave out. He felt his legs going too weak to hold him up now, forcing him backwards where he barely managed to catch himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Painted in heavy black spray paint, right on the side of the bridge, was Dawon’s signature D, encased on a lazy and messily painted circle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk really couldn’t breathe now, feeling everybody’s eyes on him as he tried to push himself back from it. His heart was beating too fast for him to count now and blood was rushing through his ears. His head felt like it was going to explode as his ears rang. He shook his head, backing away from it, but everyone just watched him with concerned glances. He felt like he was sputtering something, but he couldn’t tell anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gasped for breath, but he just couldn’t breathe. He was clawing at his neck. Tears built up in his eyes, but he couldn’t control any of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He continued shaking his head as people began making their way over to him, trying to help him. He pushed himself back away from them. They jumped back like he screamed, but he couldn’t even hear himself if he had. He closed his eyes as tears started streaming down his face, shaking his head violently as he tried to push himself back from it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t escape it. He couldn’t get rid of it. It followed him everywhere he went. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ve let everything happen up until now, and it’s </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>tearing you apart</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head as the tears started pouring from his eyes, his hands and feet still pushing him back away from the bridge. His head throbbed and he could feel his throat burning like he was screaming but he couldn’t hear himself. He couldn’t hear </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You have to </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>understand</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had tried. He had tried </span>
  <em>
    <span>so hard</span>
  </em>
  <span> to understand, but he just couldn’t. All this time he had been trying so desperately but he just kept failing. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>losing</span>
  </em>
  <span><em>!</em> He didn’t understand. It was chasing him like a bad dream and no matter how much he dug his fingers into his hair to make the pain stop it didn’t. It wasn’t just physical pain. His head hurt. His mind hurt. Thinking about it hurt. He just wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>understand</span>
  </em>
  <span><em>!</em> He wanted to stop it from tearing him to pieces before there was nothing left of him to put back together.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Lose it All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Youngkyun walked into the cafe it was like time itself was frozen. Not only did Inseong turn to watch him, but so did everyone else in the cafe. Inseong watched him with wide eyes from behind the counter like he seriously didn’t know what to do. He just stared at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wasn’t particularly sure whether or not he should offer a smile, but he decided against it. So he just stood there, letting the door close gently behind him. A few customers went back to eating, but a few more took out their phones to take pictures.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun walked carefully up to the counter, watching as Inseong’s expression never changed. When he finally placed his fingers on the surface of the counter, Inseong seemed to snap out of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can I get for you today?” he asked, as if Youngkyun was any other customer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re closing early tonight for the new year’s party with Jaeyoon, right?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head as he met his eyes. “When do you close?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In 45 minutes,” Inseong told him quietly. He dropped his gaze, staring down at the counter now. He already knew what was coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then where should I sit to wait?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun ended up being allowed in the kitchen area to avoid having everyone take his pictures and maybe notice something just a little too off about the way the two of them interacted. So Inseong gave him a nice little spot on the floor of the kitchen area behind a wall until Inseong was ready to close up. Youngkyun was happy Inseong at least didn’t kick him out and was more than happy to wait. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He played with his phone until Inseong finally bid the last customer goodbye, at which point he peeked his head around the corner. Inseong rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your order?” he asked unamused. Youngkyun carefully pushed himself to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need two dozen cookies and some macaroons,” Youngkyun told him with a smile. “I’ll help you make them, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No thanks,” Inseong told him quickly, shaking his head. “I can make them on my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look exhausted,” Youngkyun pointed out, relenting and taking a seat at the counter. He made it clear by the way he sat that he would be willing to help if Inseong just let him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. That’s a real picker upper,” Inseong mumbled, grabbing some extra cookie dough and preparing the tray. He already had the macaroons made, just not enough cookies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun leaned forward on his elbows, trying to get a read out of him. “How are you?” he asked quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong just snorted at him. “I can’t possibly imagine why you’re asking,” Inseong replied sarcastically. “You could have gone to any cafe,” he pointed out, raising his eyes to meet Youngkyun’s with an annoyed glare. “And yet you came here. You insisted on staying late just so you could bring this up. I’d rather you didn’t though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you should have just kicked me out,” Youngkyun pointed out, shrugging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could list a dozen reasons why I couldn’t do that, and they all pertain to the media bashing me, you, and Jaeyoon,” Inseong quickly retorted, grabbing the rolled up dough in his hands and pressing it into balls. “Can’t you just sit there and be quiet while I make your cookies?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Staying quiet isn’t exactly one of my strong suits,” Youngkyun confessed with a cheeky shrug. Inseong rolled his eyes and sighed. Youngkyun sensed that his joking around wasn’t really making anything lighter, so he just opted to stop. He sobered up, sighing at Inseong. “I’m serious, though. How are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine!” Inseong shouted at him, not even slightly believably. “Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not like the one person I put all my trust in turned out to be using me and lying the whole time. It’s not like I cared about him or anything. It’s not like I finally thought I had </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> to make me happy only to realize I’m a fucking idiot,” Inseong ranted, slamming a ball of cookie dough on the tray. “No, Youngkyun, I’m not fine. And you’re not helping considering you knew the </span>
  <em>
    <span>whole fucking time</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shrugged with a nod. “I did know,” he confessed. “I knew Sanghyuk was meeting with you before you even offered him a job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you just watched like a-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you ever wonder why he decided to do it though?” Youngkyun asked, cutting him off. Inseong looked up at him blankly before returning to his cookies without responding. “He-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” Inseong snapped at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that sucks because I want you to listen anyways,” Youngkyun decided, leaning on the counter. “You can think whatever you want, but at least have the decency to listen.” Inseong didn’t particularly agree to listen, but he didn’t say anything in rejection either, so that must have been a good sign. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hadn’t said a lot about what happened, and in fact he had said little to nothing to Youngkyun himself. All he knew was that Inseong had found out about Sanghyuk being Dawon without Sanghyuk telling him. That was all he was told. He knew they weren’t on good terms right now, so Youngkyun could only assume Sanghyuk lost his cool and said something stupid in the moment. That was a very in character thing for him to do, especially around someone he ended up caring about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk would never explain it all to Inseong, now. He knew that. He also knew he would be an absolutely terrible friend if he didn’t at least try to explain it for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When Sanghyuk kidnapped you at the end of August, I didn’t know about it,” Youngkyun began, watching Inseong as he continued to make cookies. He acted like he was ignoring Youngkyun, but he knew he was listening. “He didn’t even tell me after he did it. I found out about it the same way everyone else did. But Sanghyuk came to see me the day after. He showed me a video from when he kidnapped you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that illegal?” Inseong asked, furrowing his brows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kidnapping is also illegal. He does lots of illegal things,” Youngkyun pointed out, waving his hand like he was clearing the air. “But he showed me a video of you with no sound. There was one moment in the video where you looked terrified, and that was the moment Sanghyuk brought up Jaeyoon.” Inseong’s face fell at his words. “He immediately thought there was something there he could use to bring Jaeyoon down. He wanted to know why you were so afraid of him. So he started meeting you as himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then you offered him a job here and that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> not in his plan. And everyone could see it. The more he worked with you and got to know you, the more and more distracted he got. He stopped thinking about his next move as Dawon and got more hung up thinking about what your phone calls with Jaeyoon meant. But he never snooped through your phone. He never hacked your computers or followed you over to his house. He had the ability to do all of those things the whole time but he didn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How kind of him,” Inseong muttered, rolling his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Over time… we all realized he doesn’t want to be Dawon anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong clearly wasn’t expecting that next part, his hands freezing for a moment before returning to the task of fitting cookie dough to the tray like nothing was wrong. He still didn’t respond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wanted to bring Jaeyoon down at first so he could stop being Dawon,” Youngkyun continued. “But then his motives changed again. He couldn’t fall asleep because he was worried about you. He constantly wanted to know how you were acting to know if something was off. For crying out loud, he didn’t even give a shit about Jaeyoon anymore, he just cared about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s real comforting,” Inseong mumbled, placing the last cookie on the tray. “It still doesn’t change anything. He still-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He cared about you,” Youngkyun interrupted, looking up to Inseong to find their eyes meeting. “I don’t care if you believe me or not, but he did- does. He does. I don’t even know what the hell happened where you found out he was Dawon, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted you to know. He knew you’d be upset and you’d misunderstand it, but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He told me to my face I was stupid for not realizing it sooner!” Inseong shouted at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Have you met Sanghyuk?! Of course he said something stupid like that! He may have a big IQ but his communication skills and common sense rarely make an appearance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care if you don’t believe me or not,” Youngkyun stressed again, meeting his eyes strongly. “I just wanted you to know his side. He does care about you. He has for almost this entire time. You’ve made him happier than I’ve seen him in years. So… blame him all you want. But at least understand that he wasn’t just using you the whole time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s expression sunk. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyways,” Inseong mumbled, shaking his head. “He’s not involved with me anymore… so it’ll be okay.” Something about the way Inseong’s voice cracked at his last words told Youngkyun nothing was really okay. “It was a bad idea to let him get so close to me in the first place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Youngkyun challenged, pressing his arms against the counter and leaning forward. “Because you don’t deserve to be happy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about being happy,” Inseong told him sternly, resting his hands on the counter and staring down at them. “It’s about… nevermind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, tell me,” Youngkyun urged, tilting his head a bit. “If it’s not about you being happy, then what is it about? Are you saying you weren’t happy with him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong scoffed at him, rolling his eyes. “Are you kidding? Of course I was happy!” Inseong confessed, throwing his hands up into the air. “He made me happier than I’ve been in months. I never- I mean… it was stupid, though. Letting him into my life was stupid. Being his friend was stupid. Kissing him was-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun choked, his eyes going wide as he stared at Inseong. Inseong stared back at him, shocked. “What?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong blinked at him. “I- we… what do you mean ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>what’</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! Didn’t Sanghyuk tell you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, mouth hanging open. “You… Sanghyuk and you… oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>you- you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did Sanghyuk really not tell you we kissed?!” Inseong asked, tilting his head in disbelief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! That didn’t come up at all in fact!” Youngkyun shouted, staring with wide eyes down at the counter. They kissed? They </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! When Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> Inseong and Jaeyoon are a couple? They </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But… that’s how he found out about-” Inseong began, but his voice cut off as his voice went silent. Youngkyun met his eyes, but Inseong’s expression shifted between realization and panic. “You still don’t know,” he mumbled to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t… don’t know what? What don’t I know?” Youngkyun asked, pushing himself out of his seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong glared at him. “Nevermind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Youngkyun told him, walking around the counter and grabbing his shoulder. Inseong pushed his hand away with a malicious stare. “Found out what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong laughed at Youngkyun’s outburst. He was insane. He cracked a smile and laughed hysterically to himself like anything about this situation was even remotely funny.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be shocked that he didn’t tell you, but I’m not,” Inseong commented, turning to look at Youngkyun. “Good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk looking too far into what was none of his business got him where he is now in the first place,” Inseong spat at him, shaking his head. “Don’t press.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can either tell me now or I’ll just ask him instead,” Youngkyun threatened, but a smile just broke out all over Inseong’s face again. It wasn’t funny. Inseong didn’t find it funny. It was a broken smile to hide everything else behind it. It was nothing but a smile made of disbelief and fear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk won’t tell you,” Inseong assured him, not dropping his smile. “He didn’t tell you in the first place, so why would he tell you now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll tell me because he’s my </span>
  <em>
    <span>family</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun stated heavily, slamming his hands down on the counter. “You know, Inseong,” Youngkyun began, shaking his head. “I wanted to consider you part of our family, too. I still do. Because no matter what bad ideas go through my head, I still believe you want to do the right thing. But you’re scared. You’re a coward. You don’t want to speak out and help everyone else because you’re afraid of the consequences even though we’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>promised</span>
  </em>
  <span> to protect you!” Youngkyun didn’t know where this anger was coming from, but he felt like he couldn’t close the door back around it. It was flowing out of him like leaking water, only the leak was too big to patch up. He took a step closer to Inseong. “You’re playing in between, and you have been this entire time. It’s annoying. Either choose Jaeyoon and fuck us all over already or tell us what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> is going on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong looked like he wanted to laugh, but the second he tried to force that smile onto his face, his eyes filled with tears. Youngkyun wanted to pity him, but he couldn’t bring himself to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk is your family?” Inseong challenged. Youngkyun rolled his eyes. He wanted Inseong to choose his side but the boy was being really fucking difficult about it. “Then how come he didn’t tell you about anything?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> my family,” Youngkyun confirmed strongly. “I don’t give a shit that he didn’t tell me about that stuff. You wanna know all the things I haven’t told </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I didn’t tell him about finding you in Jaeyoon’s closet. I didn’t tell him about you not loving Jaeyoon. I didn’t tell him about the flower Anonymous left for me.” Inseong’s eyes went wide at the comment, the feeling of dominance running through Youngkyun’s veins. He decided to save it for now, continuing on his rant. “I didn’t tell him you knew I knew who Dawon was. I didn’t tell him I was still looking into Anonymous even though I promised not to. Oh yeah, you think we’re stupid don’t you? No. We know what Anonymous is doing, and I’m close to figuring out who he is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know who he is,” Inseong told him, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you do,” Youngkyun confirmed. Inseong’s eyes fell back to the floor again, but Youngkyun still didn’t feel bad. “I’m closer than you think I am, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Inseong whispered, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why should I?!” Youngkyun challenged, holding his arms out. “I have nothing to lose anymore! I have-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> to lose!” Inseong snapped at him, actually shocking Youngkyun. His eyes were filled with tears as he shot back at him, grinding his teeth together. “Stop looking into Anonymous before you lose it all because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise</span>
  </em>
  <span> you that you will!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is your problem Inseong,” Youngkyun mumbled, taking a step back from him. “You tell us to back off, tell us you don’t want help, and then you act like you care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do!” Inseong yelled, tears still building up in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun held his chin up. “Then prove it. And say something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-” Inseong began, his hand grabbing at the material of his shirt as he shook his head. “I can’t!” Youngkyun blinked as the first tear trailed down Inseong’s cheek. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> care! You have no idea how much I fucking care!” he screamed, sending Youngkyun what he imagined was supposed to be a glare through his tears. “I never wanted to kick Sanghyuk out! It ripped me to fucking pieces to say that to him! But I was scared. You were right, I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>! He figured out something he should have never known and I got scared he’d get hurt. I didn’t want him to look further into it! And then- and then he </span>
  <em>
    <span>followed</span>
  </em>
  <span> me and that hurt even more! I cared so much about him getting so unnecessarily involved, only to find out he’s too far invested to get out! And I can’t fucking do anything about it! I know what happens at the end of this story and I just want to rip the fucking pages out and burn them! But I can’t!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun had never heard Inseong so loud before. His voice ripped to absolute shreds as he screamed and cried all in one go. Youngkyun lost his breath listening to Inseong’s confession, having nothing to say in retort to how he really felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong stared back at him, eyes flickering to the clock on the wall. Youngkyun licked his lips as Inseong took a breath to calm himself. He looked like a disaster, tears streaming down his face and eyes burning red. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s happening whether you want it to or not, and you can’t stop it,” Inseong told him in a strangely calm voice as another tear dripped down his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t stop </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Youngkyun asked in a panicked voice, eyes going wide. Why did he look at the clock just now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I tried to stop it. Months ago,” Inseong told him, bringing his eyes back to meet his own. “If you try to stop it from happening you’ll just get even more hurt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Youngkyun yelled at him, heart thumping in his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes flickered back to the clock again before returning. “You should check the news now. And call him… I don’t think he’ll be okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun opened his mouth to question the boy again, but his voice cut off in his throat. He sputtered, quickly pulling his phone out of his pocket. He fumbled around with it, almost dropping it completely as he struggled to type in his passcode. He pulled up the news quickly, clicking on the first article he could find. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt everything in him deflate as his eyes skimmed across the headline. He didn’t even look back at Inseong before sprinting out of the cafe, running down the street with his lungs burning in his chest. He held his phone tightly in his hands, running until he couldn’t feel his feet anymore. He didn’t hear anything as he ran besides the failing attempts to keep his breathing steady. Everything just went silent around him. Everything moved in slow motion as he ran. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His feet slammed against the pavement beneath him as he continued running, puffing out breaths of thinning air as he tried to focus on nothing but running. He could feel his side absolutely screaming in pain as he ran, pushing the limits of what he should have been doing physically. He didn’t care. He would take five years off his life if it meant he could have the ability to run faster for just the next ten minutes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt exhausted by the time he approached the area, but seeing the rising cloud of smoke in the distance pushed him to run faster. He kept running until his lungs ached. He was suffocating himself but he didn’t even care. He continued running. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People stared in concern as he ran past, feeling oddly lightheaded. He couldn’t even focus on the people he ran by. Things were getting a bit dizzy, and he didn’t know if it was possible but he just refused to feel dizzy. He wouldn’t pass out now when he was so close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard the familiar sound of his friend’s voice crying out before he even saw him, quickening his steps and sprinting over to the sound. What he saw caused the little air in him to be knocked out of his chest as he skidded to a stop, falling to the ground and scraping his hands on the pavement. He crawled forward quickly, reaching out for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People didn’t know what to do. They backed away and watched in concern as Sanghyuk raked his hands through his hair, screaming and crying with tears running down his face. He shook his head violently, refusing to let anyone come close to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun moved forward anyways, placing his hands on the sides of Sanghyuk’s face carefully as he screamed and cried. His hands felt damp from his tears but he didn’t even pay any attention to it as he gasped for breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” Youngkyun whispered, holding tighter onto his face to hold him steady. He kneeled in front of him, cradling his face between his hands. “Sanghyuk, listen to me. I’m here. Sanghyuk it’s okay, I’m here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not okay,” Sanghyuk cried, shaking his head with tightly closed eyes. “It’s not- It’s-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then help me make it okay,” Youngkyun whispered desperately to him, still breathing heavily as he readjusted his hands against Sanghyuk’s cheeks. “I’m holding you right now. Focus on that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk cried out, sobbing. “It- it </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurts</span>
  </em>
  <span> it hurts so fucking bad!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded, trying to find a balance between speaking and breathing. “I know it hurts,” he told him gently, holding his face a bit tighter. “Show me all the places that hurt. I’ll make them feel better, okay?” Youngkyun told him calmly, letting go of his face to reach up for his wrists. Gently, he pulled them away from his hair. Sanghyuk let go of his roots, letting Youngkyun pull his hands away as he continued to cry, wincing in pain as he rocked back and forth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t speaking, so Youngkyun decided to speak for him. “Head?” Youngkyun asked first, pulling Sanghyuk’s hands up to gently touch his head. Sanghyuk let him move his hands, simply nodding through his tears. Youngkyun moved his hands down to his chest, pressing them right above his heart. “Chest?” he asked, to which Sanghyuk nodded. “What else?” Youngkyun asked, already moving his hands down to his abdomen. “Lungs?” Sanghyuk nodded, tears still pouring down his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ground yourself,” Youngkyun reminded him gently. “Head,” he began again, moving Sanghyuk’s hands back to his head. “Chest,” he added, moving his hands to his heart. “Lungs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Head,” Sanghyuk choked out, bringing his own hands to his head with Sanghyuk’s guidance through his tears. “Chest.” He moved his hands to his heart, choking out a sob. “Lungs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded as he copied him. “Now what feels okay?” Youngkyun asked, readjusting his fingers around Sanghyuk’s wrists.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Sanghyuk cried out with a choked up sob.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head. “Nose,” he began slowly, dragging the tips of Sanghyuk’s hands to his nose. “Shoulders,” he added, dragging Sanghyuk’s hands back down to his bare shoulders. “Hips,” he continued. Sanghyuk nodded as Youngkyun brought his hands down to his hips. “Ankles,” he added, bringing Sanghyuk’s hands to his ankles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nose,” Sanghyuk repeated, bringing his hands to his nose. “Shoulders… hips… ankles.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Youngkyun whispered, reaching up with a gentle hand to stroke the boy’s hair. He did it calmly, watching Sanghyuk choke out another sob and collapse into his chest. “It’ll be okay. It’s only a migraine. You’ll feel better when we get you home,” Youngkyun told him. His eyes flickered to the people gathered around them, remembering they had an audience. Assholes. They sat here watching him the whole time and then marveled at Youngkyun when he finally stepped in to help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, let’s get you up,” Youngkyun coached him, wrapping his hands gently around Sanghyuk’s side. As he pulled him up, his eyes glanced to the side of the bridge. There, in messy black spray paint, was the one symbol that Sanghyuk could never purge out of his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licked his lips with a bad feeling in his chest, whispering reassuring words to Sanghyuk as he slowly carried him away from the bridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun hailed the first taxi he could see, apologizing profusely for the concrete dust in the car and promising to pay extra for it. He kept his arm around Sanghyuk the entire ride back to his house, petting his hair and whispering things to distract him from the pain in his head. When they finally got to Sanghyuk’s house, the driver accepted no money, and Youngkyun bowed gratefully to him before carrying Sanghyuk up the steps to his house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee ran out of the house with wide eyes, not hesitating to run down to steps and throw his arms around Sanghyuk. He started crying the second he got a good look at Sanghyuk, who honestly looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were decorated with tear trails through the concrete dust coating every bit of his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee offered to help carry Sanghyuk up, but as he did Youngkyun shook his head and backed away. “I-” he stuttered, watching Chanhee look at him with a confused look. He took another step back. “I have to check something. Make sure- call me. So I know how he’s doing,” Youngkyun told him quickly, running back down the stairs and as far down the street as he had to before reaching the main road. The cold wind nipped at his skin as he ran, his heart beginning to race again. He caught the first bus he could, running his hands through his hair as he waited for his stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He barely registered any of the bus ride, jumping off the second he was close enough to where he wanted to be. He ran down the street, sprinting up to the door of the cafe and pressing down on the handle. It didn’t budge. Youngkyun pressed down on it harder as if it would magically open the door. It didn’t move and Youngkyun began to panic. He pressed his face and hands against the glass, peering inside. It was dark. Inseong was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun cursed to himself, running to the edge of the street and hailing a taxi. He brought his fingernails to his teeth as he threw himself into the backseat, quickly mumbling his destination. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong had known. He knew exactly what was going to happen and that it wasn’t Sanghyuk who had done it. He knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the taxi came to a stop Youngkyun practically threw the money at the guy, jumping out and racing up to the door. None of the lights were on but Youngkyun didn’t even care. He banged on the door as loudly as he could, surely making a scene to all the neighbors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“INSEONG!” Youngkyun screamed, banging his fist violently against the door to his house. “INSEONG OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No answer came, and slowly Youngkyun’s knocks became weaker and weaker. Youngkyun sighed, out of breath, as he pressed his forehead against the door. He watched his breath emerge from his lips in white puffs in the cold as he breathed. His hand, burning from the impact against the door, slowly curled around his abdomen. He winced in slight pain, but ignored it to the best of his ability. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong!” he called again weakly, but the boy wasn’t home. Youngkyun sighed out in pain, turning around to press his back against the door. He pulled his phone out of his pocket quickly, dialing the number and pressing it to his ear. He hoped with all his life Inseong would answer his call, but he was sent straight to voicemail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun gasped in disbelief and pain as he felt tears prickling his eyes. He had to find Inseong. No matter what it cost, he had to find Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself away from the house, walking until he found another taxi. He tried not to cry in the backseat, pulling himself back together to the best of his ability as he struggled to hold onto himself long enough to last the ride. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the taxi pulled up outside the familiar house, Youngkyun nearly stumbled running up to the door. He banged his fist as loudly as he could against it, ignoring the dark lights in every window and hoping to god someone was home. “INSEONG!” he screamed out, his voice cracking tiredly as tears began pooling in his eyes again. “JAEYOON!” he continued to scream, pounding both fists against the door. When nobody answered, Youngkyun resorted to kicking at the door. He slammed his hands against the door to take out all his frustrations on it. He kicked his feet at it, screaming and cursing at it with every ounce of breath he had left in his lungs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure exactly when he tired out, but at some point his fists stopped banging against the wood of the door as his entire body fell to his knees, head pressed against the door in front of him as he cried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he begged to the empty house, crying. “I… I need you to answer me. I’m- I’m your friend, right? I’ve always been your friend. You… you need to explain to me what’s going on. I’m- Jaeyoon I’m getting bad thoughts in my head. Every day I trust you less and less. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I need you to explain it to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No reply came, and as Youngkyun sat in silence he found himself sobbing on Jaeyoon’s front doorstep. He pressed his hands against the concrete, feeling his tears dripping off his chin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long have you two known?” Youngkyun cried, wishing Jaeyoon would be able to answer him even though he knew he wasn’t there. “Did you know what was happening when all those people were missing?” he cried, pressing his arms against the ground. “What about the explosion that hospitalized Juho and I? What about the fucking fire?!” he screamed, slamming his hand against the door again. “How long did you know?! How much did you pretend not to know about?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit his lip as he sobbed, pressing himself against the cold concrete beneath him. He wanted to stop crying but he just couldn’t. So without hesitation, he finally just let the tears fall again. He let them pour from his eyes as he cried about it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t exactly sure how long he stayed there just crying, but he knew it was long enough for him to run out of tears to cry. And just like that, he felt empty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t help when he pulled up to his own house to see Taeyang’s car gone and all the lights off. He almost raised his knuckles to knock on the door due to how exhausted he was, but instead he just pushed down on the handle. At least Taeyang had left it unlocked for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed the door open solemnly with no emotion, listening to it creak as it swung into the dark house. Youngkyun looked around it before sighing to himself, closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes. He flicked on the lights around him to reveal a clean house, half way cooked food covered up on the counter, and a small pink sticky note stuck to the fridge. They were supposed to have a party tonight to celebrate the new year, but it didn’t seem like that was happening anymore. So much for that one sliver of normality he had tried to cling onto so terribly that he lost it completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun moved into the house, sliding his fingers under the paper of the sticky note and pulling it off the fridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m meeting Juho, Seokwoo, and Jaeyoon at Hangang Bridge. I’m really sorry. Let me know when you get home, but I hope you stay safe with Inseong at the cafe~ We’ll figure out things about the party later tonight. I love you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, tears pricking at his eyes. How much more fucked could everything in his life turn out to be? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun crumpled the note in his hand, pulling out the trash and effortlessly dropping it into the barrel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was so fucked up. Youngkyun didn’t even know where to begin to tie it all together. Yet somehow, the one thing that clung to him more than anything was Taeyang leaving. He left to go investigate the bridge being blown to bits with Jaeyoon and Seokwoo of all people. Seokwoo, who Youngkyun was willing to bet his entire life was Anonymous, and Jaeyoon, who definitely knew about the bridge before it had even blown up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang never believed him. Back then, when Youngkyun had told Taeyang he didn’t trust Jaeyoon, Taeyang didn’t understand. He still didn’t understand. He didn’t see anything the way Youngkyun saw it and he was taking the wrong side. He left now to play along with people who were lying to him about everything. Had it been Seokwoo that tried to burn them alive before? Had Jaeyoon known about it? At this point, Youngkyun was willing to say yes to both. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sunk to the floor, wiping the tears away from his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to be on the same side as Taeyang for once. He didn’t want to be separated by the sides they chose. He just wanted the normality of his life back. He wanted Taeyang back by his side without having to lie</span>
  <em>
    <span> constantly. </span>
  </em>
  <span>God, he had lied about so many things lately he couldn’t even count them. He called Inseong to get rid of the flower, continued looking for Anonymous, worked with Juho, left the house after just leaving the hospital, lied about a legal investigation to Daniel, broke into Seokwoo’s house, had left the house several more times since then without saying anything, didn’t tell Taeyang about Sanghyuk and Inseong, didn’t tell Taeyang </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Inseong after that one confession as a matter of fact, and now didn’t tell him how much he really knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun knew without a doubt that Jaeyoon knew what Anonymous was doing, and yet he still hadn’t worked up the guts to tell Taeyang that. It all came down to one thing, wouldn’t it? Taeyang wouldn’t believe him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Youngkyun could register what he was doing, he was already pulling out his phone, pulling up Chanhee’s contact. He had to find a way to prove it. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. He owed Taeyang at least that much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun?” Chanhee answered, his voice sounding drained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keep me off speaker phone please,” Youngkyun requested quietly, pulling himself up to his feet slowly. “Where’s Hyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Asleep,” Chanhee told him quietly, shuffling around. “I can leave the room, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Youngkyun requested, pulling himself over to the couch and falling down onto it. He waited for Chanhee to tell him he was alone before sighing. “Chanhee… what did you and Sanghyuk find out about Inseong?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee went silent for a moment. “How do you know we found something out about him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> me,” Youngkyun mumbled, running a hand over his face. “Just like he said he and Sanghyuk… uhh… ‘got together,’” Youngkyun added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed. “We </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to tell you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” Youngkyun confessed. “I haven’t told you some things, too. So… we’re even.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed again on the other end of the call. “Okay, well… turns out Inseong and Jaeyoon… aren’t a real couple.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun blinked as he held the phone to his ears. “What?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard Chanhee loud and clear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong confirmed it by freaking out at Sanghyuk the way he did. They’re not really dating. They never were. This whole time it’s been an act, but we don’t know why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun honestly had not known what to expect, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was definitely not anything close to what he imagined. Youngkyun wanted to say it wasn’t true, but strangely enough he found himself not even surprised at the information. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They… they lied?” Youngkyun asked anyways, blinking down at the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This whole time,” Chanhee told him with a noise of confirmation. “It makes you wonder what else they’ve lied about, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun swallowed, opening his mouth before he could convince himself it was a bad idea. “Inseong knew what was going to happen today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sputtered from the other end of the call before going silent. Then: “WHAT?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh, don’t wake up Sanghyuk,” Youngkyun told him carefully. “He knew it was going to happen,” he repeated. “He knew the exact time it was going to happen and that the blame would be put on Sanghyuk. Chanhee… him and Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> know what Anonymous has been doing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And that’s not all,” Youngkyun added, biting his tongue. “I… I think I… </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> I think I know who Anonymous is.” The call went dead silent as Youngkyun confessed so he figured he might as well have just kept talking. “Chanhee… I think it’s Seokwoo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re kidding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I sound like I’m playing a fucking joke on you, Chanhee? Seokwoo had documents in his desk labeled as Jaeyoon’s projects and in it he had a background check on Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And how the fuck would you know that?” Chanhee hissed into the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun winced. “I… broke into his house…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You? </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> broke into a house? All by yourself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Laugh it up, go ahead,” Youngkyun mumbled, shaking his head. “Yes, okay? I left the house without telling a single fucking person and I illegally broke into Seokwoo’s house.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but Seokwoo is Jaeyoon’s personal legal advisor, isn’t he? Wouldn’t it make sense to keep a background check on Inseong?” Chanhee asked, quickly moving on. Figures. After all, breaking into places wasn’t out of the ordinary for Chanhee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t it make sense, though?” Youngkyun asked, reaching for the TV remote. “Seokwoo has the money, the constant access to Jaeyoon, and the ability to pull it off. Nobody questions him being around Jaeyoon so he can meet him whenever he wants. He’s one of the most obvious people it could be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t Anonymous try to </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill</span>
  </em>
  <span> you, though?!” Chanhee whispered harshly into the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun rolled his eyes, turning the TV on. “Yes, and is it so hard to believe after everything we’ve found out that someone close to us could be lying? At this point, I’m struggling to think of one single person in our fucked up circle that hasn’t constantly lied about something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin hasn’t!” Chanhee pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin knows who Dawon is and constantly helps out on your plans. I’d call that lying, considering he never admitted it to Inseong, Juho, Seokwoo, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taeyang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then Juho,” Chanhee challenged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, flipping between channels. “Juho has been helping me look into Anonymous this entire time and knows almost everything going on. Seokwoo? He’s working with Taeyang and Jaeyoon secretly to try and figure out who Dawon is. Oh yeah, by the way, Taeyang is working with Seokwoo and Jaeyoon trying to figure out who Dawon is and didn’t tell me or any of us, even after I told him my suspicions about Anonymous. So… yeah. I’d say just about every single person we are close to is lying about something. I can’t even pretend to be shocked anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun took a deep breath, listening to the silence on the other end of the phone call as Chanhee processed everything. “I can’t find Inseong,” he admitted slowly. “Chanhee… I tried looking for him after I left, but I couldn’t find him or Jaeyoon. I’m scared, though. I’m scared that if we don’t figure out everything soon, something even worse is going to happen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun…” Chanhee began softly through the phone. “People died in that explosion today,” he whispered. “The media is blaming Sanghyuk for the deaths of over ten people, now. But we… we expected this, right? We expected Anonymous to turn everyone against Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Youngkyun admitted with a nod, staring down at his feet as he skipped to the next channel without even glancing up at the TV. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what happens after Anonymous has everyone turned against Dawon?” he asked, a chill spreading over Youngkyun’s skin. He didn’t even want to think about that. “What’s the next move, Kyun? Because I can’t help but think we’re running out of time before it happens, and we are </span>
  <em>
    <span>severely </span>
  </em>
  <span>unprepared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed heavily, finally raising his eyes to the TV screen in front of him. He blinked at the muted news report, finding himself shocked to see they weren’t talking about Hangang Bridge still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon robs six million won from local bank]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun groaned, pulling the phone away from his ear for a second to glare at it. “Really?” he spoke into it annoyed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Chanhee retorted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re in the middle of this mess and you rob a fucking bank?” Youngkyun asked, clicking off the tv and laying back on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee went silent for a moment, and Youngkyun almost checked to see if the boy had hung up before the sound of his voice came back through the call. “Kyun… we haven’t stolen any money in weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun blinked for a moment before furrowing his brows. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would you think we stole money? God, why the fuck would we even focus on money right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A news report,” Youngkyun mumbled, holding the phone against his ear as he sat up straight on the couch. “I just… I just saw a news report that said Dawon stole 6 million won from a bank.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun inhaled strongly before cursing, not even bidding goodbye to Chanhee before hanging up. Anonymous was stealing money as Dawon now, too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucked</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun grumbled at himself, pushing himself up from the couch. He moved all the way to his office, nearly throwing the door against the wall as he moved over to his desk. He breathed out a sigh to calm himself, not that it worked. “Seokwoo is Anonymous, right? So if Seokwoo is stealing money, it has to be going into a live bank account of some sort. I can… I can find that, right? I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>prove</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s Seokwoo if I have the bank account. That’s tangible proof,” he coached himself, pulling open a drawer of his desk. “I just need to… I just need to use my brain for once and figure out exactly which bank accounts they’re using. So… I need the list of </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> the bank accounts Taeyang and I went through weeks ago. God, where the fuck did I put those?” he mumbled to himself, digging through piles and piles of papers strewn around his office. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard his phone ringing from the living room but didn’t even bother checking to see who was calling as he continued grumbling to himself, shifting through several folders full of papers just to find that one folder. He hadn’t returned the folder to Xang at any point, so it </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to still be here somewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All I need is the one bank account,” Youngkyun reminded himself, shoving a useless folder of files back into his desk. “That shouldn’t be so hard. It just means searching through literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>dozens</span>
  </em>
  <span> of bank accounts I’ve already searched through,” Youngkyun grumbled, closing the drawer to his desk with a bang. “But that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span> it can’t be that hard.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, pushing himself up from the floor. “Did I have it last or did Taeyang?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He closed the door to his office quietly as he ventured over to Taeyang’s office, letting himself in without batting an eye. If Taeyang found him when he came home hunched over the kitchen table with all the papers out, Youngkyun would stand there and tell him exactly why it was so important. If he had to, at this point Youngkyun was even willing to admit Dawon’s identity. He needed Taeyang to understand. He needed proof. He hoped for both, but even one of those things would make him melt with happiness right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pulled a pile of folders to the side of Taeyang’s desk first, checking them over with barely any interest before realizing none of them were what he was looking for. He put them all back in their places, kneeling down and opening the bottom drawer of Taeyang’s desk. Manila folders were organized alphabetically, of course, so Youngkyun started sifting his fingers through them because not even god could guess what Taeyang would have labeled those bank accounts under. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s fingers, however, froze on a simple folder labelled “Jaeyoon.” He pulled the folder out to look for what he needed, and maybe out of plain curiosity, opening it on his lap to look through it. Documents about his name under the company… documentation of meetings… technical employment through the company… media support… blah blah blah, all of it was boring. Youngkyun spread the two manila folders open so he could put the folder back where he had found it. As he shoved the folder back inside, he heard the sound of paper falling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun froze, slowly sliding the drawer shut to see a simple sticky note laying under it. He picked it up carefully with a shrug, opening the drawer back up to put it back in it’s place so it wouldn’t get lost. His eyes glanced over it as he found the place where it had fallen from, and for some reason Youngkyun’s blood ran cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He recognized the note. It was the original sticky note they had written all of the mock bank account numbers down on. Youngkyun furrowed his brows as he held it in his palm. But that wasn’t possible… because </span>
  <em>
    <span>Youngkyun</span>
  </em>
  <span> had the original sticky note. Had Taeyang made a copy?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed himself up from the floor, carefully moving back to his office and opening the top drawer. Right there, exactly where he had put it, was the sticky note. It was the exact same color as the one in his hand with the few select bank numbers written in exactly the same order. Except…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t match up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun bit his lip as he looked at the sticky note in his hand. He looked back and forth between the two notes, eyeing every single detail of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Him and Juho had gone through seven bank accounts… but the sticky note from Taeyang’s desk listed </span>
  <em>
    <span>eight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun blinked at it, tilting his head to the side. It was possible that Taeyang had copied the sticky note for him and maybe forgot to list one of the accounts, but even Taeyang himself had confirmed there were only seven accounts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was almost sure that wasn’t right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It must have been a mistake though, because Taeyang and he had gone through the accounts together. Taeyang had even written them all-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked between the sticky notes. Taeyang had given him the original sticky note… so why did he have one hidden between folders in his desk with an extra account?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun tried not to question it, not daring to let his mind wander as he sat down carefully at his desk. He turned his computer on quickly, opening the program he had been using to check back accounts like Juho taught him. Juho had convinced him that this process was entirely legal, but something about logging into live bank accounts convinced Youngkyun it wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He placed both stick notes by his computer, eyeing the one account that was on one note and not the other. B983. Youngkyun began typing in the code, pulling up the details of the account. Youngkyun bit his tongue as he stared at his screen, hands instinctively pulling away from his computer. This account was live. Every other account had been used and closed a long time ago but this one was still open. This one was used </span>
  <em>
    <span>today</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt another chill run over his body as he pulled up the log of payments, biting his lips silently as it showed a 6 million won transfer into and out of the account from earlier today. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pulled his hands away from his computer, pushing his chair back away from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was it. This was the account Anonymous was using to transfer the stolen funds to Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun swallowed thickly, too afraid to even breathe suddenly. It was… a mistake that Taeyang hadn’t written down this account on his sticky note, right? It had to be. He could have accidentally forgotten to copy that one account down and then hid the sticky note between useless folders in his desk. It was an accident. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s tongue felt dry in his mouth as he stared between the sticky notes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang hadn’t done it on purpose. It was just Youngkyun being paranoid. Taeyang would never lie to him about something like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun found himself reaching for the desk phone and pulling out a log book of meeting dates before he could stop himself, dialing the number of his secretary’s desk at work as he flipped back a few pages. He just… wanted to clear his paranoia. That was all he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he introduced professionally, acting as if he wasn’t sweating from panic. “Do you have the confirmation for Taeyang’s meetings with Jaeyoon? We just need to reconfirm the dates for a project we’re working on, and would like to revisit the material that was discussed, just to be sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” she answered happily. “What dates?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun looked down at the book in front of him. “November 8th,” he told her. In his book it said Taeyang had met Jaeyoon about Xang that day. Youngkyun just wanted to be sure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kim… I'm sorry but there were no meetings held at all on November 8th.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun swallowed what little he could in his mouth as every hair on the back of his neck stood up. “Are- are you sure?” he stuttered, losing his cool. “Taeyang has it written down here that he was at a meeting with Jaeyoon that day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Mr. Kim, but there were no meetings that day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun flipped a few pages ahead in the book, laughing nervously to cover up his trembling hands. “Ah, I meant November 18th, my bad,” he mumbled, staring down at the page that said Taeyang had another meeting with Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kim, Taeyang and Jaeyoon didn’t meet that day either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt like he was going to be sick, quickly mumbling thanks before hanging up and settling back in his chair. It was just paranoia. That’s all it was. Youngkyun’s book must have been wrong. Taeyang </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been at meetings with Jaeyoon, he was sure of it. They were… they were meeting on Xang business, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, pushing himself out of his office and beginning to pace the hallway. Seokwoo was Anonymous, so it didn’t make sense to even suspect that Taeyang knew something about it. Seokwoo was the one that had the money to fund Jaeyoon. Well… so did Taeyang. But that didn’t matter. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seokwoo</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the one with the personal connection- no Taeyang had that too. But Seokwoo met with him all the time. And… so did Taeyang. But Seokwoo had the background check on Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And Taeyang hid that bank account</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he didn’t hide it,” Youngkyun mumbled nervously to himself, shaking his head. “Taeyang wouldn’t… he wouldn’t hide that from me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun continued pacing around the house, nervously playing with his lip. Of course, it was weird that of all the bank accounts Taeyang could have possibly forgotten to write down for him, the one he missed was the one that was connected directly to Anonymous. And it was also weird that Taeyang had that original sticky note hidden between files in his desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Come to think of it… Taeyang had never liked the idea of finding out Anonymous’s identity. He had found the idea completely insane when Youngkyun proposed it, having the utmost faith that Anonymous wasn’t involved with anything. And back in September, that night at the bar, Seokwoo had even called Anonymous creepy while Taeyang had praised him for donating towards fixing a bridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Taeyang wouldn’t do any of those terrible things, right? After all, Anonymous came after them too, so that didn’t make sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then again… had the group of them ever really completely confirmed that Anonymous was the one doing all of those things? No… not </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But after his talk with Inseong earlier today he was sure. Inseong knew who he was. He said Youngkyun would never figure it out. That meant it had to be someone unpredictable, right? Well…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. Taeyang wasn’t… that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was insane to even think. Youngkyun </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taeyang. Sure… he had maybe hidden an account that would have led him to Anonymous weeks sooner and he may have not told Youngkyun about looking into Dawon, but he did that last one </span>
  <em>
    <span>for</span>
  </em>
  <span> Youngkyun. He couldn’t have caused the fire or blown up the street. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> have. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s mind swarmed with contradictions, overwhelming him as everything he knew about Taeyang rushed to his mind. He had never liked Dawon. No matter what, he always believed Dawon was the enemy. He was a fan of Jaeyoon. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>supporter</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He met Jaeyoon before Youngkyun did in some way Youngkyun never really got the full explanation of. Taeyang met Jaeyoon… all the way back in 2017. That’s when they predicted Anonymous would have had to have met Jaeyoon. Then Taeyang insisted they support him publicly. By that point, Anonymous had already started supporting him, right around the time when Taeyang and Youngkyun reached a good financial standing. Anonymous had to be someone in business. He had to be someone with constant contact with Jaeyoon. He had to be someone Jaeyoon trusted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh god,” Youngkyun mumbled, bringing his hand to his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. Taeyang was a good person. Unless he didn’t know? No. He hid the account, he- NO! He </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> hide the account he wouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> that! But how much did Youngkyun think Jaeyoon was capable of up until four months ago? Youngkyun had called him a good person when Sanghyuk first proposed the idea that Inseong was scared of him. Youngkyun had </span>
  <em>
    <span>defended</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. But Jaeyoon did bad things. He did lots of bad things. He knew what Anonymous was doing, so… what if- no. Taeyang was not lying to Youngkyun like Jaeyoon was. He wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the sound of the door unlocking, Youngkyun’s heart nearly lept out of his chest. He couldn’t control himself. When Taeyang opened the door and let himself inside, Youngkyun stared up at him with wide eyes and leaned away. Taeyang was not Anonymous. Taeyang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anonymous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Kyun,” Taeyang greeted without even raising his eyes. “You didn’t text me when you got home. But anyways, I’m sorry about-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must have seen the look on Youngkyun’s face. Youngkyun knew he was as pale as a ghost but he couldn’t help himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anonymous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Taeyang mumbled, his expression dropping as he stepped toward Youngkyun. Youngkyun froze in place as Taeyang walked up to him, placing his hands around Youngkyun’s neck. His hands felt cold. “Are you okay?” Taeyang asked softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. No I’m not okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I’m… I’m fine,” Youngkyun mumbled, shaking his head. “I just… uhm. The bridge and…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Taeyang whispered, pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him. Youngkyun was hesitant to return the hug, licking his lips nervously. “I know, I know. But don’t worry. Dawon won’t try and come for you again. I won’t let him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t exactly feel comforted by that statement. Taeyang had almost died too, hadn’t he? How was he so sure now that he wasn’t in any danger? How did he know they wouldn’t be attacked? What did he know?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, are you sure you’re okay?” Taeyang asked, pulling away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips. “Tae?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Taeyang asked him softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun swallowed his fear. “How do you… you said you trust Jaeyoon,” he mumbled, staring down at the ground. “How do you know he’s good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, where is this coming from?” Taeyang asked softly, tilting his head a bit to see him better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?” Youngkyun asked again, biting his lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt every bone in his body shake with fear at Taeyang’s answer, his hands twitching as he tried to hold them around his arms. There was no reason. There never was a reason for anything when you had to lie, Youngkyun </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that. If he was asked that same question about Dawon… that would have been his answer. Youngkyun would have said the exact same thing to lie to Taeyang. And Taeyang would have believed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt himself flinch away from Taeyang, holding himself against the wall as his eyes went wide. Taeyang was Anonymous. Holy fuck, Taeyang was Anonymous. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Consequently No Longer Needed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>[</span>
  <em>
    <span>June 18, 2012] [8 years ago]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Sanghyuk is 17, Chanhee is 12]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tapped Chanhee’s shoulder as they ran, pushing him to move faster as he kept the boy in front of him. He could feel his lungs gasping for air as he panted, licking his lips and forcing himself to push forward even harder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear the footsteps behind him chasing after them and no matter how hard he tried to block them out, they still chased him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled his fabric mask higher up on his face, tapping Chanhee’s shoulder again and pushing him forward. He could hear Chanhee gasping for breath in front of him but he couldn’t risk stopping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People jumped out of their way as they sprinted, falling back and tripping over their own feet as they watched the chase with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey brother!” Sanghyuk called out, unable to think of anything else to call him without using his name. “Do you remember the construction building I was near three years ago?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now?! Really?!” Chanhee called back at him annoyed as he pushed himself to keep running. Sanghyuk’s eyes flickered to his left, seeing the building still unfinished out of the corner of his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Up top,” Sanghyuk called to him, tapping him on the shoulder again as they continued to run. “Split. Meet there!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Split?!” Chanhee asked, gaping at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave him a small laugh out of nerves. “What?! You’re small! You got this! I’ll meet you there, okay?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tapped him one last time on the shoulder before jumping to his left out into a busy street, quickly dodging cars around him while Chanhee ducked into an alley to make his way around the buildings. The cops screamed some things back at them but Sanghyuk just smirked to himself. He ran onto the other side of the street as people moved out of his way with wide eyes. He could hear cops still chasing after him, so he ducked into an alley on the other side of the street. He knew the area better than anyone. He ducked out of the alley and back into another one, turning corners at almost every intersection he saw just to send the cops on a frantic and frustrating chase. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He led himself right out to the construction building, running straight into it and bolting up the stairs. He jumped back as the cops ran into the area, ducking behind a bundle of bricks on the second floor. They kept running after him, assuming he ran back out into the streets. Sanghyuk sighed in relief, finally allowing himself to rest for a moment so his lungs didn’t just shrivel up and give out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he was sure enough he could climb the rest of the stairs without passing out, he started making his way up. He scaled the entire building, finally gasping in relief when he made it to the top floor. Chanhee sat in front of him, gazing out over the edge of the tall rising building. Sanghyuk made his way over to him, just barely getting to him before collapsing onto the ground with a smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air blew through his hair as he rolled onto his back, spreading his arms out wide to just feel the air. His chest rose and deflated gently as he caught the rest of his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sat next to him, legs folded in front of him as he raised his chin up high. Wind blew through his hair giving him a free spirit aesthetic. Even </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> had a small smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess we should have been more careful stealing that car,” Sanghyuk spoke up with a laugh, causing Chanhee to laugh with him, nodding his head. His cheeks were coated in a red blush and his forehead had a decent sheen of sweat on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t even a cool car,” Chanhee told him, shaking his head. “Hey! You didn’t even leave your symbol!” Chanhee told him with wide eyes, tsking at him before looking back out over the edge of the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A silence spread between the two of them for a few minutes, but it was so calming that Sanghyuk didn’t even want to interrupt it. He rolled over when he was ready, crossing his legs in front of him and laying his hands in his lap. Obviously he hadn’t bothered taking in the view before, but it was no wonder Chanhee was so caught up in it. Seoul spanned out in front of them, every building lit up with the life of the city. Cars raced by, illuminating the streets under the setting sun which draped over every building in sight. Sanghyuk exhaled, feeling like he was breathing new air from where he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Sanghyuk whispered, not pulling his eyes from the view as the sun gently set in front of them. “I bet other boys your age don’t get this view on school nights.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee chuckled, shaking his head by his side. “Other boys aren’t trying to steal cars in their free time either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to come along,” Sanghyuk told him quickly, turning to see him. The sun made his skin glow like honey, his eyes now a bright brown in the fading sunlight. “Me being… the whole Dawon thing. It’s me. It’s not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Other boys don’t have the coolest brother in the world, either,” Chanhee mumbled, still staring out at the city in front of them. “Fuck their video games and their girls. Disgusting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk chuckled, nudging Chanhee in the side. “So you don’t have any interest in girls?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed. “Girls don’t like me anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank god,” he added with a lighthearted laugh. All Sanghyuk could do was smile and nod, staring back out over the edge of the building. “I think we should save this place,” Chanhee added after a small silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Save it?” Sanghyuk asked, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean… let’s make this our spot. So when… if things ever get so bad that we need to bail… we can meet here,” Chanhee decided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded with him, a smile coming to his face. “Like… a safe zone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Chanhee agreed quietly. He turned to face Sanghyuk suddenly, so Sanghyuk did the same. “This spot is going to be the </span>
  <em>
    <span>big</span>
  </em>
  <span> spot,” Chanhee decided, his face deadly serious. “One time use only. So if things ever get so bad that we need to bail… on </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>… we meet here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This spot means no more Dawon,” Sanghyuk realized, blinking at Chanhee’s words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A fresh start. Like… our reset button,” Chanhee decided. “If we ever have to meet here for whatever reason… it means we’re done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded easily. “Okay,” he agreed, bringing a smile to Chanhee’s face. “What do we call the spot?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee thought for a moment, staring out at the horizon. He seemed to have the same idea Sanghyuk had, smiling out at the city. “Horizon,” Chanhee decided, tilting his head out at the view. “If we ever need to bail, we meet at the Horizon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[present day]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Twenty three people. That’s how many people died at Hangang Bridge two days ago. The final count had just been released a few hours ago, and since then Sanghyuk hadn’t even opened his mouth. He hadn’t said much at all in the past few days, actually. In all honesty, he didn’t really find himself having much to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon had called yesterday. Hearing that disposable phone in his room ring ticked off his nerves so much that he felt blood rising to his head. He couldn’t answer now that Jaeyoon would associate his voice as Sanghyuk, and he didn’t want to put his mask back on. He didn’t want to deal with it at all. So he had brought the phone outside without a word and smashed it to bits and pieces with a hammer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee had found it smashed outside when he got home, but he hadn’t said anything about it. Chanhee hadn’t spoken up about a lot of things Sanghyuk was doing lately, but then again, Sanghyuk didn’t have answers to give him either. He spent most of the past few days curled up in bed just laying down. He had the curtains shut and the lights off. When he ate, he put no effort in to make an actual meal and instead just ate whatever he could find. He wasn’t cleaning, not that either of them usually did on regular days either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And most of all, he didn’t speak. He didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t have anything to say. His actions spoke for him enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had smashed the one thing that could keep him in contact with Jaeyoon. He had pulled the bin out from under his bed and thrown it against the wall until the plastic was cracked. He left everything strewn out all over the floor, which Chanhee took the courtesy of picking up and shoving in the back of their closet. He ripped down everything about Jaeyoon he had pinned up all over their wall and shoved it all in the trash. He unplugged the TV, too, as if it would turn on the news channel all by itself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew Chanhee was trying to help him, but he knew it was hard when he just didn’t want anything to do with the world right now. Sanghyuk didn’t want to face his problems. He didn’t want to remember he had problems at all. He just wanted to be numb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More importantly, though, he didn’t want to be Dawon. He wanted to purge himself of the identity and strip any relation he had to it. He wanted to run away from it and never look back. If he had the ability, he would have erased his memory just to get rid of the weights hanging off his shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fucked up everything by being Dawon, and there was no taking any of it back. Jaeyoon was who he was today because of Dawon. Inseong was suffering because of Dawon. Chanhee had a terrible life because of Dawon. Youngkyun always had to lie to his husband because of Dawon. Those people were </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span> because of Dawon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to escape it, but no matter how many times he threw it out of his head like throwing paper into an open flame, it just kept coming back. Because Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon. All of those things he had blamed Dawon for… it was his fault, and nobody else’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you hear me?” Chanhee asked, clapping his hands in front of his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked himself back to consciousness, realizing Chanhee had been talking to him and he hadn’t been listening even slightly. He was wearing black jeans with a long sleeved blue shirt under a gray jacket, so obviously he was going out. Or had he just come home? “Uh, no, sorry, what?” Sanghyuk asked quietly, blinking up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed, but didn’t get annoyed. “I said I’m going out for the day. I’m taking the train down to Cheonan so I can get a new car from Mr. Seo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Seo doesn’t like you,” Sanghyuk reminded him in a hushed voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighed again. “I know, but we need a car. I can at least try.” The air between them went silent for a moment but Sanghyuk didn’t lift his head. He didn’t want to see the pitiful look Chanhee was giving him. He was falling apart and he knew it, no need to prove it to himself. “Do you want to come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No thanks,” Sanghyuk mumbled, still keeping his eyes down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk… some fresh air would be good for you,” Chanhee told him delicately. “It’s been a few days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to,” Sanghyuk assured him, but it felt more like he was just restating his point that he wasn’t leaving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he relented with a sigh. “I’ll be home in a few hours, and I’ll bring tteok-bokki with me, okay? It’s your favorite.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help but smile at Chanhee’s words, shaking his head reminiscently as he stared down at his lap. “No,” he mumbled, not able to wipe the smile from his lips. “I want you to bring kimchi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kimchi… why?” Chanhee asked, furrowing his brows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk lifted his head to meet his brother’s eyes for only a second before dropping them back down to his lap. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> favorite.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee scoffed at the comment, shaking his head with a small laugh. “I’ll bring tteok-bokki,” he decided, grabbing his wallet and phone. “Just stay here until I get home, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I would leave anyways,” Sanghyuk commented weakly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shrugged. “You have a habit of doing things after being told not to,” he commented with a laugh. Sanghyuk smiled, nodding as Chanhee left, closing the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, deflating into the couch. “Love you, Chanhee,” he mumbled, pulling the blanket over himself and curling it around his frame. He settled his head into the pillow of the couch, making himself comfy. “What would I do without you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk woke up next to the sound of a rough banging sound at his door. “It’s open!” he called out through a mumble, raising his hand from under the blanket to rub tiredly at his eyes. He had definitely been asleep for longer than what would constitute a small nap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The banging continued at the door, causing Sanghyuk to groan as he tossed the blanket off of himself. He raised his hand to his eyes again as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He rubbed at his eyes more so he would be able to see where he was walking in the darkness of his apartment while groaning more at the relentless sound of knocking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself to his feet, sluggishly walking towards the door. He flicked on the living room light as he did, squinting down at the knob on the door. “Oh,” Sanghyuk mumbled, yawning. He guessed Chanhee had locked it before he left considering that the door was not, in fact, open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He yawned one more time before pulling the door open, blinking at the person on the other side before every muscle in his body froze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They looked at each other hesitantly before Sanghyuk snapped out of it, his tired self deciding he didn’t really give a fuck. He dropped his hand from the knob of the door before turning around and walking away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” he spat, leaving the door open for the boy to come in. He heard the sound of the door closing behind him as footsteps traveled further into his disaster of an apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No answer came, so Sanghyuk didn’t try to press. It seemed the boy was busy staring at every detail of his horrendous lifestyle as Sanghyuk moved further into the apartment, walking over the various clothes and random things strewn all over the floor. The area by the coffee table was the messiest considering Sanghyuk’s habit of throwing everything on top of it onto the floor and then proceeding to never clean it up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk made his way over to the small kitchen area, opening the fridge and grabbing an already opened water bottle from one of the door pockets. He had no idea who it belonged to at this point but he also didn’t give a shit, so he drank from it anyways. When he was done refreshing his throat, he finally turned around to stare at the boy currently watching him from the hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like looking at the opposite end of a spectrum for Sanghyuk. He knew his hair was unkempt and maybe even a bit dirty, though he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> showered two days ago. His nails had a bit of dirt under them even though he hadn’t left his house, and he knew he had freshly-woken-up-from-a-nap-breath. His clothes were wrinkled and worn. The sweatpants he was wearing didn’t even have a string through the waist of them anymore ever since Sanghyuk had taken it to help make something he was using for Dawon at some point. He couldn’t even remember anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Inseong. Inseong looked fresh. His hair was clearly washed and blow dried, neatly kept and straightened. His skin was coated with a very thin layer of touch up makeup and his lips weren’t at all chapped, while Sanghyuk’s definitely were since he had misplaced his chapstick and gave up on finding it within five minutes. Inseong wore blue jeans with a neat, unbent leather belt and a soft grey shirt hanging over his shoulders. Tucked between his arm and his side was a manila folder, but Sanghyuk didn’t have any interest as to what was inside of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked like he was suffering the effects of everything that had happened while Inseong looked like he wasn’t losing a single wink of sleep over it. Sanghyuk wondered how close he would have to get to see the makeup covering the bags under his eyes, or if he would have any at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well don’t you look nice,” Sanghyuk commented, not giving a shit where his filter was or if it was ever coming back. He lifted the water bottle to his lips again to take another sip while Inseong looked him up and down. Upon first glance, Sanghyuk couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, so he stopped wondering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You live like this?” was the first thing that came out of Inseong’s mouth, gesturing to not only his appearance, but his apartment as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave him a cheeky and more than sarcastic smile, leaning against the counter. “Looks like </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>has never suffered a depressive episode before,” Sanghyuk mumbled, lifting the bottle to his lips again. “And yes, I do live like this. I just woke up from a nap in case you couldn’t tell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t worry, I can tell.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, capping the bottle in his hands. “Why the fuck are you here?” he finally asked, looking up to meet Inseong’s eyes seriously. “If you came to make sure I was doing worse than you, don’t worry, you have your proof. You can take your leave now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what I expected when I came here,” Inseong confessed quietly, looking around the apartment. “But this wasn’t it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “Did you expect Dawon memorabilia all over the place?” he asked, the name sliding off his tongue so easily it almost stung. “Did you expect my masks hung up on all the walls and stacks of the money I’ve stolen displayed in the corner?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean I didn’t expect you to live like you’ve never cleaned in your life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again, you’ve clearly never had a depressive episode before,” Sanghyuk spat at him, rolling his eyes as he abandoned his bottled water on the counter and made his way over to the living room. He just needed to wake his legs up, to be honest. “Again, I’ll ask, why are you here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong paused for a moment, not tearing their gazes apart. Sanghyuk didn’t feel intimidated at all standing in front of Inseong, now. If anything, the reminder that he could never fix anything just rose in his chest, disintegrating his filter. He couldn’t fix it, so why should he care?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you didn’t blow up that bridge.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk scoffed before Inseong had even finished speaking, a sadistic smile coming to his lips as he shook his head, laughing a bit. “That’s funny,” he mumbled, watching as confusion drew over Inseong’s features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is funny about what I just said?” Inseong asked, furrowing his brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s funny that you think I didn’t do it,” Sanghyuk told him, tilting his head as he met his eyes again. “Sorry to break the news to you, but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> do it,” Sanghyuk spat at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head. Why didn’t he believe him? Why didn’t he believe what everyone else believed about him? “I know you didn’t do it, so why the fuck are you saying that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you see the symbol on the side of the bridge?” Sanghyuk asked, a laugh escaping his lungs. Inseong stared at him with wide eyes and angled brows, lips parted open in shock. “You know Dawon did it don’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, you didn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon</span>
  </em>
  <span> did it!” Sanghyuk reminded him, shaking his head with another laugh. “Dawon left his symbol there! Everyone knows it! Stop living in a fantasy world and just accept that Dawon did it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> did it, though!” Inseong told him harshly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk laughed again, gaping at Inseong. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dawon, in case you’ve forgotten which I find hard to believe. I’m Dawon! Dawon did it! Did you see the symbol? That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> symbol. Should I show it to you again?” he asked, his voice rising higher than it had in days as he reached down to the floor, picking up an almost empty can of black spray paint as he jumped up onto the coffee table with a loud stomp. “It looks like this!” Sanghyuk yelled at him as Inseong gaped, watching as he drew a large black circle on his wall where the tacks had been hung up before. He drew a straight line through it, making a curve around it like a big D. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you seriously just paint all over your wall?” Inseong asked, unimpressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sanghyuk told him, jumping off his table and whipping the can across the room. It hit the floor with a loud clunk, but Sanghyuk didn’t even wince at it. “That symbol behind me is </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I put it on that bridge.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Twenty three people died! What kind of sick joke is this?” Inseong yelled at him, eyes narrowing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a joke!” Sanghyuk yelled back at him, shaking his head. “I’m Dawon. Dawon blew up the bridge. Inseong, I killed those people,” he growled, blood rushing to his head as he said the words out loud. He killed those people. Every single one of them. “Why can’t you just believe that like everyone else? Why are you so suddenly changing sides?” Sanghyuk asked, walking around the couch towards him. “Stop trying to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong moved before Sanghyuk could even finish, grabbing his wrist and pulling him harshly over to the kitchen. Sanghyuk made a sound of shock as Inseong dragged him, slamming the folder he held onto the counter and staring maliciously at Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came here to say I know better than to believe you killed those people, and here you are blaming yourself for it like a coward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked at him in shock. “I’m-?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Open the goddamn folder, Sanghyuk,” Inseong spat at him, gesturing to it with his chin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s gaze dropped to it, looking it over before sighing in defeat. He flipped open the cover to the folder, rolling his eyes as his eyes fell to the first page of the pile in the folder. Sanghyuk’s fingers froze around the folder as his eyes scanned over the paper. His breath caught in his throat, his mouth going dry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first page of the folder showed a layout of Hangang Bridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carefully, Sanghyuk moved his hands to move the paper aside to see the next one underneath it. He looked at the one underneath that one, and the one below that one, and he kept flipping until he was so overwhelmed by the papers in front of him that he couldn’t flip through them anymore. Layouts of every part of the bridge. Designs for different kinds of bombs. Scheduling for when the most traffic passed under the bridge. Disaster team response times. Planning for where the symbol would go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was breathing visibly heavier by the time he shut the folder in front of him. He couldn’t do anything but stare blankly down at it. He couldn’t focus on anything else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon doesn’t kill,” Inseong whispered beside him. Sanghyuk stumbled back from him, blinking widely at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did you get this?” he asked with wide eyes, looking between Inseong and the folder. “Inseong where did you get this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s office,” Inseong answered without hesitation, turning around and walking away towards the front door. Sanghyuk sputtered as Inseong walked away, snapping himself out of whatever trance he was in and quickly following after the boy. He slipped his slippers on for lack of time, slamming the door shut behind him as he followed Inseong outside into the cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s office?!” Sanghyuk asked, almost tripping down the stairs as he tried to catch up to Inseong. “Are you even </span>
  <em>
    <span>allowed</span>
  </em>
  <span> in there?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not,” Inseong spat at him, walking confidently as Sanghyuk stumbled after him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved quickly, jumping down a few steps to push himself in front of Inseong, blocking him. “You can’t just leave now!” Sanghyuk told him sternly, but Inseong only deadpanned at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving,” Inseong assured him monotonically, pushing him out of the way before continuing down the steps towards his car. “I’m showing you something.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hurried after him again, eyes wide and his skin barely registering the cold as his heart began beating quickly in his chest. Inseong brought him down to his car, digging the keys out of his pocket before remotely unlocking his trunk. He pulled the hatch open, stepping back and giving Sanghyuk the space to look inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk ran up to the trunk, placing his hands on either side of it as he looked inside. It was piles and piles of manila folders, each one filled with stacks of papers. There were rolled up reports and layouts of buildings and entire pads of papers with scribbled details on them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached in, grabbing the first folder he saw on top and flipping it open in his arms. The explosion on the streets that put Youngkyun and Juho in the hospital. He closed the folder and dropped it back into the trunk, reaching in and pulling out the next. He opened it, papers spilling out all over the place, but he didn’t even care. He grabbed the first two he could catch, staring at the design for the blue Maserati and different designs of gas bombs. Sanghyuk discarded the two papers, grabbing another one to see a layout of security cameras. He reached in for another folder, opening it to see designs for Dawon’s mask. He threw the folder back into the trunk, grabbing another one and spilling the papers out to see them. It was the layout for Youngkyun and Taeyang’s old house. There was a medical report on a type of liquid chemical that would knock them out and its effectiveness when mixed with different alcohols. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt like his lungs weren’t working as he stared down at everything in the trunk. He looked up to Inseong with wide eyes, panting for breath as he began to panic. “Inseong,” he began carefully, looking back down at the piles of folders in the trunk of his car. “What exactly don’t I know about Jaeyoon?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A lot,” Inseong mumbled, looking between the trunk and him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was planned. Jaeyoon had plans for everything going back years. He- “Fuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk turned on his heel, sprinting back up to his apartment. He pushed open the door and let himself back into the disaster, making his way over to his room. Inseong sprinted in after him, heavy steps beating against the floor. “Sanghyuk?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was faked!” Sanghyuk screamed, swinging the door to the closet open. He pushed himself inside, pulling everything in his way out and throwing it onto the floor. He dug all the way to the back until he reached his black clothes, mask, and belt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What- what was faked?!” Inseong asked with a shaky voice as Sanghyuk pulled the black clothes out of the closet, tossing them behind him. Inseong reached down and grabbed them from the floor as Sanghyuk threw them out, looking them over. He grabbed his belt next, tossing it out. He added the smoke bombs, acid boxes, real bombs, his taser, his scaling claw, and even his baton which he had stolen from a police officer. He threw out his mask too, climbing out of the closet to see Inseong staring down at it all with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk quickly kicked all of the coats and useless things out of his way, grabbing the first black shirt he could find and holding it out in front of himself, quickly observing it for no rips or tears. “Everything,” Sanghyuk finally replied, quickly pulling off his own shirt and throwing it to the ground at his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong’s eyes zapped to his own like he didn’t dare move them any lower, but Sanghyuk didn’t even care. He pulled the shirt over his head, sticking his arms through the sleeves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When Jaeyoon and I first met,” he began explaining quickly, pulling off his sweatpants and grabbing a clean pair of black pants from his pile. He stuck his legs in quickly, pulling them up to his waist and buttoning them. “I was about to shoot up a convenience store.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was in a bad place!” Sanghyuk defended quickly, reaching down for his belt and plopping himself on the floor. “I wasn’t going to actually shoot anybody,” he continued, grabbing the smoke bombs from the floor and pinning them to the belt out of habit and routine. “Long story short, Jaeyoon showed up, scared me away, and chased me back to that same spot. I tried to shoot him to get away, but the gun didn’t have any bullets in it like mine did. It was a different color, too. And- I mean I’ve always suspected that Jaeyoon switched the guns, but I literally never had any proof so I just figured my memory sucked ass so much that I forgot the color of my own fucking gun,” Sanghyuk rambled, pinning everything else onto his belt before swinging it over his shoulder, pushing himself into his bathroom. “If Jaeyoon did all of that- I mean… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>planned</span>
  </em>
  <span> all of that!” he continued rambling, turning around to grab onto Inseong’s shoulders with wide eyes. The boy jumped back as he did, clearly not expecting it. “He planned everything since the beginning!” Sanghyuk screamed, quickly dipping his toothbrush under the stream of water before adding toothpaste and sticking it in his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re saying Jaeyoon switched the guns… because-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wanted to frame me,” Sanghyuk explained through a mouthful of toothpaste, brushing with one hand and reaching into the cabinet for the white hair paint with the other. He shoved it in his back pocket, spitting into the sink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Frame? Sanghyuk, you went there with an actual gun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span> but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> me to shoot him. That was the goal! Everyone called him the hero while they called me the villain! That’s where it all started!” Sanghyuk continued to explain with a scratchy voice, spitting into the sink again before rinsing his brush lazily and tossing it back onto the counter. “He planned it! I never had proof before now, but this is proof!” Sanghyuk walked past Inseong back into the main room of the house, jumping across everything in his way as he made it back over to his water bottle, pouring a decent amount in his mouth before swishing it around and spitting it out in the kitchen sink. “He planned everything else! It was him the whole time! The fire, the explosions, the- oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he spat, turning to Inseong with a glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What now?!” Inseong asked loudly with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At the charity event! When I fought Jaeyoon! You </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was going to be there! Anonymous was never going to attack anyone because Jaeyoon was right fucking there!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Inseong admitted with a nod. “And you freaked out big time. Jaeyoon couldn’t stop laughing about it for a whole day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I freaked out because I thought Anonymous was going to try and hurt you or Taeyang!” Sanghyuk screamed, adding another scream just to emphasize his frustration before walking back across the house, picking his phone up from the couch and his mask up from the floor. “Dammit,” he mumbled, staring down at it. “I only have one left. How the fuck did I manage to lose the rest?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you freaked out like that… because of Taeyang and I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, get with the program, I have feelings for you,” Sanghyuk admitted lazily, rolling his eyes as he tucked his mask underneath his arm. He turned to Inseong quickly. “Can you drive?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you dressing up like that?” Inseong asked, ignoring his question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m meeting Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk decided, walking up to face Inseong. “I’m done letting him toy around with me. I couldn’t do anything because I didn’t know what he was doing. Now I know. He’s not working </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anonymous, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anonymous. God why am I so fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! Can you drive me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m driving you to meet Jaeyoon now?!” Inseong asked with wide eyes. Sanghyuk shrugged, moving past him to grab his under layer mask from the counter, hooking one of the straps around one of his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You came here and gave me all the evidence, so don’t back out now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who said I was backing out?” Inseong asked, tilting his head with parted lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled to himself, gesturing for Inseong to follow him outside. He moved quickly down the stairs, racing towards Inseong’s car and slamming the trunk closed. “Are you officially choosing my side? Like for good?” Sanghyuk asked, turning around to face him with a serious expression. “Because I hope you know how fucking sketchy this is, and I’m kind of just trusting you on all of this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not confident about it,” Inseong admitted, opening the door to the driver’s seat and placing his hand on the top of it. “But… Dawon doesn’t kill. Jaeyoon does. Black and white, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk swallowed, nodding. “Right… Jaeyoon did that so… so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon doesn’t kill,” Inseong repeated, patting the top of his car to get Sanghyuk’s attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed a smile on his face as best as he could, nodding. “Dawon doesn’t kill,” he repeated quietly, bringing a small smile to Inseong’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. Let’s go,” he decided, swinging himself inside the car. Sanghyuk followed his lead quickly with a nod, pulling the hair paint out of his pocket and jumping into the seat. He closed the door behind himself, not even putting his seatbelt on as Inseong began pulling away from the apartments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled his phone out first, pulling up Chanhee’s contact quickly. “Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up,” Sanghyuk mumbled, untwisting the cap to his hair paint and dipping his fingers in it while the phone rang on speaker in his lap. He pulled down the mirror above the passenger seat, watching carefully as he coated a streak of his hair in white hair paint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have napkins in your car?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Center console,” Inseong told him without hesitation. Sanghyuk reached into the center console, grabbed a napkin, and wiped the hair paint away from his fingers. He twisted the cap back on the container, dropping the napkin to the floor. “I’ll pick that up later,” he assured him quietly, cursing as the phone rang out to voicemail. He attempted to call the boy again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… so Chanhee knows about… about-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes Chanhee knows I’m Dawon. He helps me plan literally everything I do. Youngkyun is my reason guy when Chanhee and I are both too hopped up on adrenaline. Taeyang doesn't know because none of us ever told him. Youngbin from the bar knows who I am, too,” Sanghyuk rambled, answering all of Inseong’s questions at once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong blinked at the road with wide eyes, gasping. “Oh my god so when… so when Jaeyoon came over before we left for my parents house and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you mean when I was forced to stand in front of Jaeyoon panicking that he would figure out who I was? Yeah that was really fun- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk continued, attempting the call for a third time. “Chanhee </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> pick up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The call went to voicemail again so Sanghyuk settled for taking the phone off speaker, lifting it to his ear. “Chanhee, hi,” Sanghyuk began, speaking to nothing but an empty bin of messages Sanghyuk never used. “Please call me back the second you get this it’s really fucking important,” he mumbled, pulling the other strap of the base mask to his other ear, but not covering his mouth yet. “We were wrong. Chanhee we were so fucking wrong. It’s Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon is Anonymous. He blew up the bridge. He did </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Please call me back, I’m on my way to find him now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, he ended the message, pulling his phone away from his ear and sighing as the battery symbol flashed on his screen.  He winced as the screen of his phone went black. Great. “Where are we going?” he asked, turning to the side to see Inseong as he dropped his now useless phone to the center console. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy swallowed. “His secret hideout.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which one? I know them all,” Sanghyuk told him, resting his head against the headrest of the seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you don’t,” Inseong assured him, picking up the speed. “You don’t know about this one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gulped, not daring to question Inseong at this point. He nodded and let Inseong continue driving, attempting to plan something in his head. He hadn’t really thought anything through as he got ready, and to be honest, this was the first time he was heading towards Jaeyoon without even a sliver of a plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So what did he need coming out of this? That was the first question. He needed… proof. Inseong had all the documents Jaeyoon had, but there was no way to prove it was Jaeyoon that had done all of those things. So Sanghyuk would need to record him admitting it. That was fine, he had an audio recording pin on his belt at all times, anyways. He mentally thanked Chanhee for that as realization struck that he wouldn’t have Chanhee in his earpiece like usual. He wouldn’t have his earpiece at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fine. All he had to do was record Jaeyoon admitting everything, fight him a bit, and figure out what his next move was going to be. That couldn’t be so terribly hard that he wouldn’t be able to pull it off, right? Sanghyuk could do this. He had to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been afraid of Anonymous this whole time, but Anonymous was just Jaeyoon. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was just Jaeyoon. Sanghyuk could handle that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re here,” Inseong whispered, dragging Sanghyuk focus back to reality as he stared up at an old half collapsed school building. Sanghyuk had never even seen this place before. How fucking long had he zoned out?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong… where are we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In Jungnang-gu,” Inseong told him, putting the car in park towards the back of the dirty parking lot. He turned the key, shutting the car off as he pulled the key out, shoving it in his pocket. Sanghyuk was barely even registering what Inseong was doing at this point, staring out the window at the school building. “It’s in the basement,” Inseong whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, lips parting slightly as he looked towards the building. It was just Jaeyoon. He had no reason to be scared or unsure of himself. He could do this. All those other times he had lost to Jaeyoon had been for fun, but this was serious. He could do this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you to stay here,” Sanghyuk mumbled, turning around to face Inseong with big eyes. He licked his lips as he watched Inseong return a similar gaze. “Not that… I mean… you’ve dealt with him for this long already… but also you just kind of sold him out so… stay here. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to go in there alone?” Inseong asked, his gaze flickering between Sanghyuk and the school building with wide eyes before finally settling on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m the villain aren’t I?” Sanghyuk asked, swallowing his fear. His voice didn’t sound confident and he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear</span>
  </em>
  <span> the lack of faith he had in himself already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Inseong mumbled, shaking his head just barely enough for Sanghyuk to see. “Don’t think for even a second that you’re the bad guy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, finding himself strangely leaning towards Inseong. “You told me I was worse than him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>lied</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Inseong mumbled, resting his arms on the center console. “Sanghyuk you’re not the bad guy. You’ve done bad shit. You’ve fucked up. But… you’re not the villain in this story.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t want to be the hero either,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his lips barely moving as he pushed the words out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then just be you,” Inseong whispered, licking his lips. “That’s enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed out, nodding. Himself. Not Dawon. Not a villain. Definitely not a hero. Just… himself. He turned away to look back out the window, finding Inseong’s hand curled around his neck and spinning him back around before he could even take a breath. Their lips pressed together instantly, Inseong taking the lead and bringing himself closer to him. Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to kiss back, moving his hands and cupping Inseong’s face. He kissed him deeper, not wanting to let him go. He didn’t want the moment to end. He wanted to keep Inseong like this forever, just living in never ending bliss and distraction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong pulled back before Sanghyuk was ready for the moment to be over, his fingers slowly sliding away from his neck as he pulled back. Sanghyuk wasn’t ready to let him go yet, though. He moved his hands back around Inseong’s face quickly, pushing himself forward and smashing their lips together again. Inseong flinched back from the shock but settled into it easily. It wasn’t a light kiss full of butterflies and giggles, it was everything Sanghyuk felt towards Inseong poured out in one moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally pulled back to press his forehead against Inseong’s, he was panting for breath. He could feel Inseong breathing gently against him as their eyes met. They stayed like that for a moment, just watching each other under the dim light of the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have I ever told you how far I’d go for you?” Sanghyuk asked him suddenly, stroking his thumb gently across Inseong’s cheek. Inseong shook his head slowly, never breaking eye contact with Sanghyuk. He smiled. “I’m not doing this to take down Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk whispered through his breaths. “I’m doing it so you can be safe. It’s… it’s been more about you than him for a long time now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think I sold him out?” Inseong asked carefully as Sanghyuk pulled back from him. Inseong offered him a small smile. Inseong didn’t need to say any more than that. Sanghyuk understood perfectly. Inseong pulled his lips into a thin line, staring over every detail of Sanghyuk. “Be careful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’ve known him for years now,” Inseong told him as Sanghyuk pulled his fabric mask over his nose. He brushed his hair back gently, careful not to ruin the streak of white as he pulled his mask into his lap. “But trust me when I tell you, you don’t know him enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted, cradling his mask in his hands. One last time. Just one last time, and then he would be done. “Yeah, I’m starting to understand that,” Sanghyuk mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He threatened to hurt my family,” Inseong mumbled, staring down at his lap. “When I got close to you… he threatened to hurt you, too. That’s why I never said anything. That’s why I never asked for help. I didn’t… I didn’t know you were already so involved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Sanghyuk told him confidently, looking up to meet his eyes. “Sometimes there’s things we just can’t say, and that’s okay.” Inseong nodded, watching carefully as Sanghyuk tipped his mask on the tips of his fingers. “Hey,” Sanghyuk mumbled, drawing Inseong’s attention back to his eyes. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong nodded, breathlessly. “I love you, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Sanghyuk told him, pulling the handle of the door and pushing it open behind himself. “For believing in me after everything I’ve done.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stepped out of the car, slipping the band of the mask around his head and pulling the sheet of plastic over his face. He pulled the belt off of his shoulder as he closed the door, not sparing another look back as he started making his way towards the school building, clipping the belt securely around his waist. He loosened his shoulders as he walked, finding every ounce of confidence within himself and building it up like a shield around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong had risked </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the chance that Sanghyuk would be willing to do the same. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do this. No matter what, he had to come out of this successfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart was practically jumping out of his chest by the time he made it up to the doors. He stopped right in front of them, taking a deep breath. This was for Inseong. This was putting an end to everything. Right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now he had to be Dawon. But more than anything, he had to remember to be himself, too. He let Dawon’s confidence fill him up, fueling him as his own mind guided him. Dawon was stupid, and he couldn’t risk being stupid right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let his fingers hover on the handle to the front door, pressing down so gently that it was like watching himself move in slow motion. The door handle clicked, opening the door and allowing him inside. He pushed the door open carefully, just enough to let himself in, before closing it back behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The inside of the school building was a deserted lobby covered in dirt and growing weeds. It was dark inside, no working lights powered by unpaid electricity bills. He let his eyes scan over the area completely. Unfortunately, he hadn’t exactly asked Inseong how to get to the basement before leaving, but he wasn’t going back out now. He blamed his hormones for that, shaking his head and moving on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quietly, Sanghyuk moved forward, tip toeing across the floor towards the front desk. He moved around it gracefully, almost like he was dancing, until he came to the other side. A dusty map was plastered on the wall, absolutely covered in cobwebs and dirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk lifted his hand with a wince, quickly wiping away the webs and dirt from it before wiping his hands on his pants, rubbing his palms into the fabric as his eyes scanned the now at least readable map of the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[B] with a staircase symbol had to mean basement right? Sanghyuk looked at the location on the map before turning to his left suspiciously. Carefully, he moved away from the map, running across the floor on the tips of his toes before making it to the first hallway. Directly to his left was a closet door with a broken door knob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled, placing his hand on it. Going in without knowing the layout was dangerous, but Sanghyuk didn’t exactly have the ability to choose his preferred meeting spot right now, especially after he had smashed his phone. He pulled the door towards him carefully, slipping inside the frame of the door and gently pulling the door back into its place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The stairs, unlike the rest of the building, were clean. They were solid concrete all the way down in a narrow tunnel. Sanghyuk didn’t like the way he was so contained right now. It wasn’t good to walk into a situation like this surrounded with only one exit. To avoid being noticed this early on, he kept his footsteps deadly quiet, only moving as much as he had to as he crept down the stairs one by one. As he descended, he heard the sound of faint humming. The sound of Jaeyoon’s voice taunted him, filling him with built up rage. He caused all of this. He hurt his family. He hurt Inseong. But Sanghyuk wasn’t going to let that happen. Not again. Not anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk filled his lungs with a steady breath as he reached the bottom of the stairs. With one slow motion, he moved his fingers to the side of his belt, pressing gingerly on a button built into his belt to begin recording the audio. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The basement didn’t look anything like a school basement. It was a hollowed out room made completely out of concrete, but it was absolutely huge. There were other hallways that most likely led to pipelines under the school, but they were blocked off with iron gates. Where Sanghyuk stood now seemed to be the only exit and entry point. There were air vents and grates in the floor to allow a good air flow, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help but catch onto the faint scent of bleach radiating from the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he looked up, he found Jaeyoon’s squared shoulders in front of him, back turned. He was settled over a small desk in the corner, a tool in his hand as he tightened a bolt on some circular shaped object. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was some sort of bomb.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s hand flinched backwards towards his belt as he realized what he had brought to work with… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had brought more smoke bombs with him than anything else considering how useful they had been to him lately, but setting off a smoke bomb in this confined space would suffocate them both. He had brought a few regular bombs with him, too, but in a space like this those were even worse. Not only were they enclosed, but they were also underground. So all he had to work with, really, was acid and a taser. He supposed he would have to improvise. This wasn’t a game. He wasn’t just trying to play with Jaeyoon this time around. He was trying to </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. The thought hadn’t completely settled in yet, but he didn’t have another choice. It was more than obvious Jaeyoon would try and hurt him, so in return…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s attention froze back to reality as he watched Jaeyoon’s shoulders tense. He knew he was here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon slowly began to nod, turning around slowly until he was facing Sanghyuk completely. He nodded, looking him over. “Hi,” he said softly, his brow creasing as he continued to look him up and down. Sanghyuk grit his teeth together behind his mask but made no move to respond to him. “How did you… ah,” he mumbled, a smile appearing on his face. “Inseong. Inseong told you, didn’t he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t reply, biting his lip harshly as he stared Jaeyoon down. He wouldn’t let Jaeyoon lead this fight like he led every other. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> turn to control the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sanghyuk asked tauntingly, taking two steps forward. “But to be honest… I’m a bit pissed at you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you are,” Jaeyoon mumbled with a laugh, wiping his hands together gently to clear them of debris. He shifted his gaze back up to Sanghyuk. “I don’t blame you.” Sanghyuk didn’t answer to Jaeyoon's bait as he took another step forward, cracking his fingers one by one. Jaeyoon’s eyes flickered down to his belt. “Please don’t use those here,” he requested calmly, eyes venturing a bit around the room they were encased in. “In case you haven’t notice-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll blow us both up if I have to,” Sanghyuk bluffed, shaking his head. “Don’t act like you don’t deserve it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon smirked, looking over him. “So… you figured it out. Did you? Or did Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell</span>
  </em>
  <span> you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You act like Inseong just called me up as if he had my number,” Sanghyuk hissed at him. “You’re not that hard to figure out, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And now your feelings are hurt?” Jaeyoon asked, tilting his head. He took a step to his left, fingers gliding across the surface of his word desk as he moved. Sanghyuk placed his foot behind him, carefully moving to the right like a dance. Blood drained from Sanghyuk's face as he watched Jaeyoon’s fingers curl around the handle of a wrench, pulling it off the desk with a scraping sound. Sanghyuk moved his hand back carefully to reach for his baton, strapped to the back of his belt. Jaeyoon noticed, smiling at the small movement as he chose to ignore it. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Are</span>
  </em>
  <span> your feelings hurt, Dawon? They should be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I liked you better when you called me up just to fight for the hell of it,” Sanghyuk growled at him, annoyed at the way he played around sadistically. It was taunting. “You were predictable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I’m not anymore?” Jaeyoon asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not for a while,” Sanghyuk mumbled, taking another step away from Jaeyoon as Jaeyoon took another to his left. They moved around in a circle like that, continuing their movements to avoid one another. For Sanghyuk it was strategy, but for Jaeyoon it was playing. “But I think I’ve got you pinned now,” Sanghyuk finished in a low voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon snorted at his words. “Oh do you now? You think just because Inseong told you everything </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> knows that suddenly you understand me?” Jaeyoon asked, taking a quick step towards him. Sanghyuk didn’t waste his chance, stepping forward threateningly at the same time. Jaeyoon’s face contorted in confusion for a moment before shifting to amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know for fucking sure you don’t understand me,” Sanghyuk mumbled, standing with his chin up as they continued circling each other still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to,” Jaeyoon replied, a wicked smile on his face. “Because honestly, Sanghyuk-” His breath caught in his throat. His lungs deflated as shock shot through his brain like an arrow. “I don’t need you anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon launched at him before Sanghyuk could recover, swinging the wrench at him and knocking him to the ground with an aching side. Sanghyuk sputtered as he pulled himself to his feet, staring wide eyed through the mask at Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon swung his wrench again but Sanghyuk was quick to dodge this time, jumping to the side and spinning around until he was standing behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not Sanghyuk!” he told him strongly, only causing Jaeyoon to smile in amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> do you think I am?” he asked, moving forward again. Sanghyuk pulled the baton from his belt quickly, jumping out of the way of the wrench and swinging the baton at Jaeyoon’s arm to knock the tool out of his hand. As he swung, Jaeyoon’s foot swept under his feet, knocking him to the ground. Sanghyuk rolled to the side and pushed himself up as Jaeyoon moved to hit him again, the wrench crashing loudly against the floor instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not Sanghyuk!” he screamed at him again, shaking his head as he moved out of the way of another one of Jaeyoon’s attacks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon smiled, and before Sanghyuk could fully register what the older man was holding in his hand, the smoke was leaking from the bomb. Sanghyuk’s free hand flung to the side of his belt, grasping at the empty spot that used to hold one of his smoke bombs, thankfully a light version. Jaeyoon threw it into the middle of the room, Sanghyuk quickly jumping away from it as smoke poured into the room. As he jumped to the side, Jaeyoon’s body crashed into him, sending them both tumbling to the ground in a heap of yelps before Jaeyoon had Sanghyuk pinned against the floor. Sanghyuk was ready to push back against him, but Jaeyoon had already dug his fingers into Sanghyuk’s shirt, pulling him up and smashing him against the concrete wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his body hit the wall with a pulsing ache before he was picked back up, back slammed against the wall. He was panicking. He was losing control of it. He had to regain control! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon was standing in front of him before he could move again, fingers dug into the neckline of his shirt and pressing him firmly against the wall. Sanghyuk was prepared to push Jaeyoon’s feet out from under him, but before he could, Jaeyoon’s fingers were on the rim of his mask. With care and a smile on his face, Jaeyoon peeled the mask away from his face, smiling as the band slipped over his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you really think,” Jaeyoon began, pulling the mask completely away from his face, holding it out of his reach and smirking, “I didn’t know who you were all this time?” He held the mask gingerly on the tips of his fingers with all the care in the world while he pressed Sanghyuk against the wall like he was something to be smashed against the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed against his grip, but with his entire brain freaking out and panicking he couldn’t stay focused enough to keep his cool. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve never known who I was,” Sanghyuk challenged, his heart racing in his chest as his eyes flickered to his mask. “How did you figure it out?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon smirked, his eyes filled with malice and violence. “Oh Sanghyuk,” Jaeyoon teased, shifting the mask to hold it between just his thumb and forefinger. His smile grew on his face as Sanghyuk began to shake in fear. He knew. That was all that was running through his mind. If he knew then… Chanhee. “I’ve always known it was you. And you’ve played your part </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonderfully</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk watched with no breath in his lungs as Jaeyoon let go of the mask. It fell to the ground, clattering against the concrete by his feet until it laid there lifelessly. “And now,” Jaeyoon added, pulling at Sanghyuk’s shirt neckline violently. He paused a beat as Sanghyuk’s heart stopped beating all together. “I don’t need you anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon lifted up his foot before Sanghyuk could even cry out for him to stop, bringing it down on top of Sanghyuk’s mask and cracking it. He brought his foot down again, and again, and again until it was smashed completely and Sanghyuk’s cheeks burned red with anger. He shoved his hands harshly against Jaeyoon’s chest, pushing him back into the cloud of smoke forming behind him and sending them both tumbling to the ground. Sanghyuk kicked his foot into his abdomen only to be thrown back against the ground. He pushed himself up, throwing a punch at the outline of the boy’s body before finding himself being pinned to the ground again. Sanghyuk moved quickly, grabbing the smoke bomb between his fingers and pulling it up, shoving it in front of Jaeyoon’s face as it leaked gas. He pushed him back, discarding the bomb to the side as Jaeyoon pulled his hands in front of his face coughing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon came right back at him, though, grabbing onto his shoulders and slamming him into the walls. Sanghyuk pushed him back harder, kicking his leg up and flipping them both over as he curled his leg around Jaeyoon’s neck with the force of an entire punch. Sanghyuk reached up for Jaeyoon’s desk, grabbing the first metal object he could find before bringing it down on Jaeyoon as hard as he could. Jaeyoon pushed himself out of the way too quickly, grabbing the back of Sanghyuk’s shirt and swinging him to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much more of this can you possibly take, Sanghyuk?!” Jaeyoon taunted him with a laugh. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> lose! I can’t believe you haven't learned anything by now!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Sanghyuk could locate Jaeyoon through the cloud of smoke, he was sent to the ground with a horrible pain in his back. He tumbled across the floor, coughing violently as Jaeyoon’s foot kicked into his side. Sanghyuk tried to push himself up quickly, but the force of an entire stool swinging into his body just sent him skidding across the ground again. He reached up for his bottom layer mask, pulling it away from his mouth and spitting onto the ground. He ignored the sight of his own blood, watching as Jaeyoon swung the stool at him again. He pushed himself up, grabbing the legs of the stool and pulling it from Jaeyoon’s hands with the force of the swing, bringing it right back at him and knocking him onto the ground. Jaeyoon grabbed onto the legs of the stool as it slammed into his body, pulling it from Sanghyuk’s hands and sending it crashing into the wall behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk spat out more blood, ignoring the pain ringing throughout his body as he moved toward Jaeyoon, kicking at him. Jaeyoon grabbed his leg, pulling him down to the ground and jumping on top of him. He curled his fingers into Sanghyuk’s hair before slamming his head down into the concrete. Sanghyuk felt stars throughout his vision as Jaeyoon kicked him in the side again. He felt more blood pooling in his mouth as he tried to pull himself up, but Jaeyoon was more aware than him, grabbing his wrists and pinning them to the floor before jamming his knee into Sanghyuk’s side. He groaned in pain, rolling over as Jaeyoon moved away from him. He tried to push himself back up, but when he had finally pushed his arms up he felt something hard bashing against his head again, knocking him back to the floor with a scream of pain. Splinters of wood broke around him, flying all over the place as Jaeyoon kicked Sanghyuk in the stomach again. He spat up more blood as he rolled around, shaking his head as he tried to pull himself back together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to admit,” Jaeyoon began with a small laugh, walking away from him with a radiating feeling of accomplishment. Sanghyuk tried to push himself back up, but his arms burned with the pain of even trying. Every attempt brought more blood pooling on his tongue and more pain pulsing through his head. “I didn’t expect you to come this far to find me,” he admitted, walking back over to Sanghyuk and straddling him on the floor. Sanghyuk reached up to push him off, but Jaeyoon just pulled Sanghyuk’s taser out of his belt, getting up quickly to stick it against his side. Sanghyuk screeched in pain before Jaeyoon pulled it away, tossing it uselessly to the floor. He could feel the tingling still in every nerve of his body as he gasped for breath, the slight feeling of Jaeyoon unclipping his belt from around his waist registering but not really settling in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought the bridge would have done it for you,” Jaeyoon continued, tossing his belt to the floor as Sanghyuk's mind spun with dizziness and pain. He tried to focus any one of his senses, but he was so out of it he couldn’t even see straight. Jaeyoon pulled himself up before grabbing Sanghyuk’s wrist, dragging him across the floor painfully before dropping him again by one of the iron bar gates. “At first, I thought I would just catch you off guard in the end of it all, but you actually lost your damn mind when I started pulling your stunts,” Jaeyoon explained proudly, wrapping something cold and sharp around his wrists. Sanghyuk tried to pull his arms away, but Jaeyoon just kicked his foot into Sanghyuk’s side again, silencing him as he coughed up more of his own blood. Jaeyoon made a noise of satisfaction before pulling Sanghyuk’s hands behind his back again, pressing them against the iron bars. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could tell it was because of Inseong,” Jaeyoon continued, pulling something tightly around his wrists. It took him a moment, but the material finally registered in his mind. Zip ties. Jaeyoon sighed, shaking his head as Sanghyuk looked up to him through lidded eyes with heavy breathes. “I was worried about him at first,” Jaeyoon confessed. “He wasn’t planned. He was never part of the plan. So… I decided just to keep him close to me. I was worried you would get too close and he would just spill it all.” Jaeyoon pushed himself to his feet, traveling back over to his desk before grabbing another zip tie, kneeling down by Sanghyuk and adding that one around his wrists as well. “I was going to kill him,” Jaeyoon admitted quietly. Sanghyuk winced at Jaeyoon’s words, pulling his hands as hard as he could only to have them stopped by the zip ties. He pulled harder and harder, thrashing terribly as Jaeyoon just watched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snorted. “But you liked him,” Jaeyoon stated, smacking Sanghyuk on the shoulder before finishing adding the last zip tie. Sanghyuk felt tears pooling in his eyes as he tried to pull his hands back, but Jaeyoon had him tied down and weak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I noticed it the first time we met after you kidnapped him,” Jaeyoon continued, leaning back to admire his work. He fell down to his ass calmly, tilting his head with a smile as he watched Sanghyuk lie on the ground, hands secured to the iron bars behind him. “You were so quick to defend him. You were interested in him from the start. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to blame you for killing him, that was my original plan.” Sanghyuk shook his head as tears started falling down his cheeks, but Jaeyoon didn’t stop. “But you became so interested in him that it distracted you. You were distracted and riled up. You started freaking out. You lost complete control, and oh god I loved it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YOU’RE SICK!” Sanghyuk screamed at him finally, shaking his head with tears streaming down his cheeks as he pulled his arms against the bars with no luck. He kicked his feet out towards Jaeyoon, but he just couldn’t reach him. Jaeyoon watched, amused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… thanks to you Inseong isn’t dead yet,” Jaeyoon told him with a laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you fucking touch him!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, jerking his whole body forward with a cough of pain as he tried to free himself. “You’re sick! Bastard! Fucking piece of shit!” Sanghyuk continued. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong isn’t dead… but all those other people are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off you sick fuck!” Sanghyuk screamed, shaking to get his hands free but only tiring himself out. “You’re such a mother fucking asshole! You dick! You fucking monster with your sick fucking smile!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m actually glad he told you,” Jaeyoon confessed, ignoring Sanghyuk’s screams. “Because now you can’t ruin anything before I’m finished.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You deserve to rot you piece of shit!” Sanghyuk spat at him, glaring with his lips peeled back in anger. Hot tears melted down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth, but Jaeyoon was just so amused by it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon smirked at him, leaning forward. “Did you figure out what it is yet?” he asked quietly, his ego preceding him. “Do you know how I’m going to finish it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Killing me? Oh, that’ll be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucking plot twist!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, but Jaeyoon just shook his head and tsked at him. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Sanghyuk didn’t let him. “You’re not a hero. You were </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> a hero, and you never deserved to be one. You’re worse than me! You’re fucked up in every single way I could possibly come up with! Get some therapy or something you fucking psycho!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon smiled, tilting his head as he leaned down to see him better. He breathed out a small breath in Sanghyuk’s face, causing him to flinch away. “I know,” he mumbled with a laugh. “Isn’t it so hurtful?” he asked, pulling away, “to realize the person everyone thinks is the good guy has just been lying this whole time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re breath fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>smells</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, causing Jaeyoon to roll his eyes as he pushed himself to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really are too stupid to understand it,” Jaeyoon mumbled, making his way over to his desk as he waved his hand in front of his face, clearing the smoke from in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head as he watched Jaeyoon, everything finally falling into place. It clicked in one single moment, and suddenly all the pieces connected. The finished puzzle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man… you have some real fucking childhood trauma to want to take it out on everyone else,” Sanghyuk whispered maliciously, earning a raised eyebrow from Jaeyoon. Sanghyuk spat at the ground in front of him. “Daddy hit you, but everyone else </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> him didn’t they? So what? Now you’ve wasted your life making everyone around you adore you, just so you can break their hearts? You wish everyone knew back then what you did, so you’re going to break their trust. You don’t want people trusting anyone, is that it?! Don’t trust people you don’t even know?! You’re teaching them a lesson? It’s fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>sick!</span>
  </em>
  <span> You’re disgusting!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon watched him for a moment, a smile frozen on his face for just a moment before it slowly grew. He looked down to Sanghyuk with raised eyebrows, nodding slowly. “I underestimated you,” he said simply, grabbing his things from the desk before walking back over to Sanghyuk, kneeling by his side. “But not by that much. You’re still stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least I’m not you,” Sanghyuk spat at him, glaring through their eye contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to know a real fun secret?” Jaeyoon asked, tilting his head. “I’ve wanted to tell you this one for a while now, and since I’m going to leave you down here for a few days just to suffer at the hands of your own thoughts because it amuses me, I want to tell you now.” Sanghyuk didn’t reply, merely holding his glare against him. Jaeyoon leaned forward, his breath grazing over the skin of Sanghyuk’s ear. “Your daddy </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> tried to kill my daddy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt nothing but his heart beating in his chest as he felt Jaeyoon smiling by his ear. The air went still between them as Sanghyuk swallowed the blood pooling in his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he said it, sending a numbing chill throughout Sanghyuk’s entire body, like a paralyzing drug shooting throughout his veins. “I did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you want to know what else?” Jaeyoon asked with a giggle, relishing in the silence his confession left Sanghyuk in. “My daddy knew I did it, too,” he confessed, tears building up in Sanghyuk’s eyes. “So he had people frame your daddy so I wouldn’t get caught. They knew he didn’t do it. We all knew. But they killed your daddy anyway to burn the evidence.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Sanghyuk begged with a cracked voice, tears pouring down his cheeks. “No, stop-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Chanhee’s dad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“STOP!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was getting a bit too close to figuring it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON STOP!” Sanghyuk screamed, pulling against the iron bars again as tears started flooding out of his eyes, all while Jaeyoon was smiling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So we had him killed, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“STOP IT! STOP IT JUST STOP IT!” Sanghyuk screamed through his sobs, shaking his head violently as he jerked away from the bars, trying desperately to pull himself free. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Inseong in the car outside waiting for you? I shouldn’t keep him waiting too long,” Jaeyoon decided suddenly, standing up with a smile on his face as he turned and walked away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON!” Sanghyuk cried out, pulling his hands against the bars as he screamed. Jaeyoon flashed him a smile as he made his way towards the stairs, not even stopping to give him one last remark as he started walking away. “JAEYOON PLEASE! STOP PLEASE!” Sanghyuk begged through his tears, his chest aching with pain as he screamed and cried for the man to come back. He pulled harder against the bars, crying and crying as he tried to pull himself free, but two zip ties was too strong for him to pull apart. “JAEYOON!” he continued to scream, crying so hard his jaw ached and his eyes hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON!” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Every Day, Forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Youngkyun barely registered the words he heard, blinking into the darkness of his house as he sat up in his bed. He pulled his feet over the edge, not hesitating to jump to his feet and tip toe out of the room. He pulled himself into the hallways as gently as he could, trying to ignore the sounds of Chanhee crying on the other end of the call as he closed the door behind himself, turning all of his attention to the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
    <span>What</span>
    <span>?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t find him,” Chanhee whispered breathlessly into the phone, his voice a mess of disorienting sobs. “I can’t find Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you check Youngbin’s bar?” Youngkyun whispered into the phone, walking down the hallway barefoot, hissing at the cold against the soles of his feet. He walked over to the living room as Chanhee continued to cry, trying to keep him calm to the best of his ability as he grabbed a sweater from the living room, pulling his arms through the sleeves while keeping the phone pressed to his ear. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he just finally broke down and needed a drink.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I checked Youngbin’s bar,” Chanhee assured him, sniffling. “No- but, but that’s not it. Youngkyun you’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>listening</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me. I can’t find him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people can’t find him. He uh… he called me yesterday but I was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yesterday</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Youngkyun hissed, pulling the sweater around himself. “Chanhee, how long has he been missing for?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Twelve hours now,” Chanhee mumbled nervously. Youngkyun’s eyes went wide as he tried to think of any place the boy could be, but his mind was drawing a complete blank. Sanghyuk hadn’t even left his house in days. “But I- I got a call,” Chanhee continued explained, presumably realizing he had been side tracked. “From Sanghyuk,” he added. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun nodded as he crawled into the cushion of his couch seat. “I’m listening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He called me at exactly 12:20, yesterday afternoon,” Chanhee began explaining, his words spilling out quickly and sort of jumbling together as he rushed to say it all. Youngkyun could tell from his breathing patterns that he was exhausted from speaking and most likely pacing around his apartment. “Three times to be exact, all within five minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you pick up?” Youngkyun asked biting his tongue as soon as he said it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee fumbled for words. “I- I was driving back up from Cheonan with our new car! Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that’s where I was going to be! I didn’t have my phone’s ringer on because who the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> has their ringer on anymore?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me! Taeyang! Inseong! Sanghyuk! All of us!” Youngkyun hissed into the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee either gave up his argument or ignored him completely as he began talking again. “He said I needed to call him back because it was ‘really fucking important,’” Chanhee informed him, huffing as he said it. “And trust me, I tried to call him back. I called about twenty times before I thought to track his phone but his battery died. Right after he left the message his phone’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> battery died, so I only know what direction he was going, not where he ended up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, slow down,” Youngkyun coaxed him, anxiety building in his chest at the thought of not knowing where Sanghyuk was after everything that had happened. “What did he say after that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right,” Chanhee mumbled, clearing his throat and sniffling again. “He, uhm, he… holy fuck I don’t even know how to say this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were wrong,” Chanhee blurted out, his voice audibly shaking as Chanhee himself spoke in choppy bits with tiny breaths in between. “That’s what he said. He said we were wrong, because it’s Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s Jaeyoon?” Youngkyun asked, blinking as his fingers curled tightly around the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous,” Chanhee hissed, Youngkyun’s blood running cold at the name. His eyes flickered to the stairs leading up to their bedroom where Taeyang was hopefully still sound asleep. He stuttered to answer, but clearly Chanhee didn’t think he was going to answer at all. “Kyun, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span> is Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun found himself shaking his head before he could stop himself. “No,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Chanhee. “That’s not… I mean because-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how he figured it out,” Chanhee said, cutting him off. “But- but he sounded really sure. Like… he wasn’t just guessing. He said Jaeyoon blew up Hangang Bridge and everything else. And then he… </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kyun he said he was on his way to find him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, breath fading from his lungs. “But- but Jaeyoon isn’t Anonymous,” Youngkyun hissed, cupping the phone in front of his mouth so there wasn’t a chance anyone else could hear him. Blood drained from his face as the ideas rushed through his head but he couldn’t even begin to comprehend any of it before he had to start all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, I know you think Seokwoo is Anonymous,” Chanhee spat at him, sending a throb of piercing pain through his chest. No… not Seokwoo… “but whatever Sanghyuk figured out was enough for him to pull his mask out of the closet and go after Jaeyoon without telling anyone. Not only that, but his phone was dead. How the hell did he even leave?! There was no car here, he didn’t take any money, and his skateboard is still stuffed in the closet. He couldn’t have left on his own, but I don’t know who he left with! I don’t know who told him something or what they told him and- Kyun I… I’m really fucking scared. I’m scared that maybe he didn’t leave voluntarily, but that phonecall makes me think he did and I don’t fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he cried with a sob choking out halfway through his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why-” Youngkyun began, reminding himself that Chanhee didn’t know. Not even Youngkyun knew. In reality, there was no solid evidence that anyone was Anonymous. But Youngkyun knew. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself or how he tried to justify it… he knew. He swallowed, purging his thoughts. “Why would you think he didn’t leave voluntarily?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee paused, sighing. “Someone painted a big fucking Dawon symbol on our wall… but I don’t know whether it was him or… or whoever Anonymous is. Let’s face it Kyun, we have no idea who Anonymous is. Seokwoo? Jaeyoon?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Taeyang</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I have no fucking idea! Sanghyuk didn’t even tell me what he found!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s go look for him,” Youngkyun decided quickly, shaking his head to clear his thoughts again. “You said he was going after Jaeyoon, right? So let’s check his hideouts.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was an uncomfortable pause of silence in the call, and after a few seconds of waiting Youngkyun felt the blood drain from his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Chanhee mumbled quietly. “Kyun, I checked every single one of Jaeyoon’s hideouts. I checked his house. I checked Inseong’s house. I checked all of </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> hideouts. I checked Seokwoo’s house. I checked the bakery. I checked online for sightings of Dawon, but you know what I thought was even weirder? Jaeyoon is missing, too, I think. Jaeyoon and Inseong. Neither of them have been seen since before the bridge blew up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, his hands feeling like they weren’t completely holding him up on the couch as he shook his head. “Chanhee, no, Jaeyoon went to Hangang Bridge after it all happened,” Youngkyun mumbled, still shaking his head. “Him and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… no he didn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s eyes fell shut as his lips drew a thin line. He inhaled, still shaking his head as he tried to process Chanhee’s words. Taeyang had told him they had all gone to Hangang Bridge together. Taeyang said he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon at that time, but now everyone was saying he was never there?! Taeyang had </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> him- no. Taeyang hadn’t told him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang had</span>
  <em>
    <span> lied.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think… I think Sanghyuk was right,” Chanhee mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About what?” Youngkyun snapped, instantly trying to bring himself down a level. He was stressed. He knew he was reacting badly, but how could he not?! His husband had lied to him, the man he was currently scared at the thought of was missing and accused of trying to burn him alive, and his best friend had figured something out and was now completely off the radar with no way of contact. How the fuck could Youngkyun possibly not freak out in this scenario?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About Jaeyoon,” Chanhee mumbled, sniffling again. “It all makes so much sense. Jaeyoon is gone, right? If I can’t find him, there is no way in hell Sanghyuk would be able to find him. He broke his only way of contact with Jaeyoon, too, so that wasn’t even an option. But Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>said</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was on his way to meet him. That wasn’t a guess, Kyun, he knew where Jaeyoon was. Right? So whatever he figured out, it wasn’t just a hunch. He knew where Jaeyoon was, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But-” Youngkyun tried to interrupt him, but Chanhee just continued anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he didn’t come back. Think about it Kyun. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really</span>
  </em>
  <span> think about it. If Jaeyoon is Anonymous, that means he did all of those things. He burnt your house and killed those people. So… so </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh god</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sanghyuk went after him… Kyun he- he didn’t come </span>
  <em>
    <span>back</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t that fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>worry</span>
  </em>
  <span> you because I’m freaking out?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Jaeyoon, though!” Youngkyun found himself hissing. “He… him and Sanghyuk… they-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Chanhee mumbled, ignoring Youngkyun. “Holy… shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee? Care to fill me in?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean it was- wait, you mean…? You mean Inseong told him everything?! After everything that happened? No-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said it yourself,” Chanhee told him with a quiet voice. “Inseong knew it was going to happen. He was the only person so… he was the only person that could have known where Jaeyoon was going to be. That’s how he left, too. Inseong. It was- oh my fucking god it was Inseong!” A loud crash came from Chanhee’s end of the call, followed by hurried breaths as Chanhee mumbled incoherently. “That’s how he was so sure… because Inseong confessed everything he knew…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted to say Chanhee was wrong, but his mind hung up on every conversation he had had with Inseong ever. His memories flashed through everything he knew and connected the dots like making line art. Inseong said whatever they assumed would be better than the truth. Inseong didn’t want Sanghyuk around Jaeyoon. Inseong was scared of Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon hurt Inseong. Inseong didn’t want to ask for help. Inseong knew the bridge was going to blow up. Of course. Inseong had known the whole fucking time… and that was why they pretended to be a couple. Jaeyoon had threatened Inseong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything Inseong did suddenly felt like it made sense now, alarms going off in Youngkyun's head that should have gone off long before now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong and Jaeyoon had never dated. Jaeyoon had threatened Inseong to keep him quiet. Jaeyoon had done all those horrible things. But what did that mean for Sanghyuk, who had gone after him?! Where was Inseong?! Where was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! What did that mean about Taeyang lying to him and Seokwoo having a background check on Inseong?! Did they know about it?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun…” Chanhee mumbled, his voice suddenly small and fragile. “I’m… I’m really scared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips, letting the thoughts continue through his head. Jaeyoon had killed all of those people, and Sanghyuk had gone after him. Fuck… what was he thinking? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head. “There has to be someone else who knows,” he decided firmly, but quietly. “Inseong couldn’t have been the only person that knew where Jaeyoon went.” As he spoke, he kept it ambiguous. He wanted to believe so badly that Taeyang wasn’t involved, but he had lied to him </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> just a few days before! If anyone knew… it had to be him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? And who exactly would that be?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, his lips parting as no sound came out. He couldn’t. After everything… he couldn’t. Just like Dawon, he couldn’t tell them Taeyang was Anonymous, even if he wasn’t sure anymore. Was Taeyang Anonymous? How many Anonymouses were there?! He sighed, shaking his head with his eyes tightly closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll figure it out,” he mumbled, ending the call and tossing his phone away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s head snapped up to the stairs with wide eyes, watching as Taeyang watched him from the top of them. His shoulder leaned gently against the wall, but Youngkyun’s heart couldn’t stop beating in his chest. If he hadn’t gone with Jaeyoon, Seokwoo, and Juho after the bridge blew up the other day… where had they really gone?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun? What’s wrong?” Taeyang asked, gently descending the steps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun wanted to tell him everything was fine, but honestly everything was the farthest from fine it could possibly be. He couldn’t peel his eyes away from Taeyang as he descended the steps, watching him like prey feared a predator. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no idea how much Taeyang knew, but he knew he wasn’t clueless. Whether Youngkyun wanted to admit it or not, Taeyang had hidden that bank account from him on purpose. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was a live account. He knew what it was when Youngkyun found it. Which meant even if Taeyang didn’t steal the money himself, he sure as hell knew Jaeyoon did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How much beyond that did Taeyang know? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… are you okay?” he asked, quickly moving towards him. Youngkyun didn’t know what was wrong with him. He freaked out. He flinched backwards from Taeyang and tumbled onto the ground behind him, shoulder blades slamming into the table in front of the couch and pushing it back across the floor from the impact. Taeyang stared at him with wide eyes and a hesitant expression, but Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t breathe. He pushed himself back completely, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang was supposed to be by his side. Taeyang was supposed to be someone he could trust. He had told him everything. He told him he suspected Jaeyoon and what he knew about Inseong, but he hadn’t believed him. At least… he said he hadn’t. How much had Taeyang condoned? How much did he say he didn’t believe when he knew it happened anyways?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to go,” Youngkyun mumbled, unable to handle the thoughts that swarmed his mind. He shook his head and unsteadily pushed himself to his feet, stumbling back from Taeyang. “It’s-” he began to explain, but he had no excuse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s- I’m sorry,” he mumbled, shaking his head. He raked his hands through his head, pushing himself backwards as tears brimmed his eyes. “I can’t handle it. I can’t! I just- I need to- I- I need to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun wait!” Taeyang called after him, running up to him quickly. He placed a hand on Youngkyun’s arm, but he just reacted out of fear, pulling his arm away from Taeyang and tripping over his own feet, falling backwards and slamming his head on the ground. “Kyun… I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Youngkyun screamed, causing Taeyang to flinch backwards as he curled into the floor, cowering away from Taeyang. He needed to find Sanghyuk but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look Taeyang in the eyes and accuse him of being such a bad person, even if he really was starting to believe he could be. “You said this would get easier!” Youngkyun continued to scream at him, shaking his head as he held it tightly between his hands. “You- you said it would all be over soon! You were wrong! It’s worse! It’s worse and I- I just- I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun…” Taeyang mumbled, slowly lowering himself to a crouch as Youngkyun tried to back away from him more. In that moment, though, Youngkyun realized he had already backed himself completely into a corner. He curled away from Taeyang as the boy reached out a steady hand towards him, making no other move than placing his hand lightly on top of Youngkyun’s. “Kyun… it’s just me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And that’s the problem</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go to bed,” Youngkyun snapped at him, tears drying on his cheeks as he realized he had never noticed them falling in the first place. He pulled his legs up to his chest, curling into himself. “Please just leave me alone for the night. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not just going to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Go to bed</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun hissed at him, grimacing as more tears began falling from his eyes. He turned his head away the second he saw the hurt look in Taeyang’s eyes, not wanting to see his eyes gloss over with hurt and rejection. Youngkyun could handle it… he hoped. He shook his head, facing away from Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard the sounds of Taeyang shifting to sit on the floor in front of him, even as he tried to ignore the boy. “No,” he answered simply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were there for me when I was struggling,” Taeyang explained quietly, pushing his back up against the wall so he could offer Youngkyun a way out if he really wanted to run away. It was tempting… but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “I don’t know what’s going on… but it’s been going on for a while, right? I can tell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s none of your fucking business,” Youngkyun hissed at him, the words burning on his tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is, though,” Taeyang told him, trying to meet his eyes. Youngkyun turned away from him. He cleared his thoughts, adjusting his back against the wall. “Mr. Too Taeyang,” he mumbled quietly, sending a shiver over Youngkyun’s skin. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing he could just block it out. He wanted the floor to swallow him, and only him. “You are becoming the husband of Mr. Kim Youngkyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Youngkyun hissed at him, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you promise to love Youngkyun and respect him,” Taeyang continued anyways, “take care of him, help him, in joyful times and in hard times, in sickness and in health, every day, forever?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang I don’t need you to recite our wedding vows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, clearly, you do,” Taeyang told him, tilting his head to try and meet his eyes, but Youngkyun wouldn’t let it happen. “I promised to take care of you even in hard times, so don’t tell me to go back to bed while you sit down here like this. I won’t do it and you know it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun just simply shook his head, letting it fall gently against the wall as more tears dripped down his cheeks. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt Taeyang’s body move closer to his, but as he cried he couldn’t even find the energy to push himself away from him anymore. When Taeyang’s arm slid around his frame, he melted, letting his husband cradle him in his arms. He cried more as his head fell against Taeyang’s chest, listening to his heart beat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to be scared of Taeyang. He never wanted that. He didn’t want to lie to him, and he didn’t want Taeyang to lie to him. He just wanted it all to be over already. He wanted everything to stop spinning for a second so he could just fix it all. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was years ago when all of their worries were insignificant and small. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun licked his lips, panting to catch his breath as he tried not to sob. Years ago? Like when he married Taeyang? Like when they started up their company together and bought a home together? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang hadn’t changed, and it was obvious. Youngkyun didn’t know what he was missing, or who knew what anymore. But he knew one thing, and one thing only. One thing that, no matter what, would never </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> change. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shivered, pulling himself closer into Taeyang’s arms, hiding his head in his chest. “I, Kim Youngkyun,” he began quietly, his voice dry and coarse, “promise to love Yoo Taeyang and respect him, take care of him, help him, in joyful times and in hard times, in sickness and in health.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang seemed like he was going to pull away from him for a second, but Youngkyun latched onto his shirt, refusing to let him. A single tear fell from his eyes this time, slowly falling over his cheek and dripping down onto Taeyang’s shirt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every day, forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Six o’clock that same morning, Taeyang straightened Youngkyun’s tie and they left for work. People began questioning where Jaeyoon was, and why he wasn’t appearing to speak about the bombing of the bridge. Inseong’s cafe was still closed. Sanghyuk was still missing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun texted Chanhee subtly as Taeyang drove them to work, not wanting his husband to ask what was wrong. He didn’t want to ask if Taeyang was involved. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> bring Taeyang into this. After all, Taeyang wasn’t Anonymous. Jaeyoon was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By eight o’clock Chanhee was losing his goddamn mind. Youngkyun was supposed to be working on reports and permits, all of which he didn’t have the attention span to pay any amount of care towards. Instead he texted Chanhee while pretending he was working. The boy was currently hacking every traffic camera in the entire city, staring from around their apartments. The problem was, though, that they had no idea what car Inseong had taken. His car, a light grey Daewoo Sedan, was still parked back at his house, and had been the entire time. He hadn’t taken his own car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another problem arose from that realization. If he had taken one of Jaeyoon’s cars, it was a question of which one out of the nearly fifteen did Inseong take? They weren’t even sure it was one of Jaeyoon’s cars, though, so searching on the cameras was close to useless, especially considering the one camera they could have actually used was the one Sanghyuk cut the wires to a year back that had never been replaced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Chanhee was beyond the point of panicking, and Youngkyun felt more than uneasy about it all. Sanghyuk had now been missing for nineteen hours. By now he should have found a way to contact someone if he had the ability to. The fact that he hadn’t made Youngkyun nauseous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t focus on his work at all. He tried, but every time he tried to focus on anything else, his mind began to drift. Shortly after that, he began to panic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By ten o’clock, Chanhee had contacted Dawon’s gangs using their server, asking for any information on Jaeyoon or Inseong within the past three days. As far as Youngkyun knew, none of them had anything to offer. All three boys had seemed to just disappear completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun really began to panic now. He couldn’t stop thinking about how bad a situation would be to keep Sanghyuk from contacting them. He had no idea where he was, what had happened, or if he was okay. The thought of Jaeyoon killing all of those people just to blow up a bridge kept racing through his mind, but he refused to think anything drastic had happened to Sanghyuk. That was not a thought he would even allow himself to have. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At ten thirty, Youngkyun ran to the bathroom to regurgitate his nerves into the toilet. He felt dizzy and sick thinking about all of it, but hell, who could blame him?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to bring Taeyang into it. He didn’t want to confront him. He never wanted to bring the situation up ever again, but Youngkyun felt like not saying anything was sentencing Sanghyuk to death. If Taeyang really did know where Jaeyoon was, and Youngkyun never said anything… he didn’t want to think about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten minutes later Youngkyun was storming out of his office, taking their car and making his way to the familiar home. He barely shut off the car before stepping out of it, slamming the door behind him and marching up to the door. He didn’t have time. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t have time, and he had wasted enough over his petty fear of confrontation as it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He banged on the door as loudly as he could, his hand burning from the pain of beating it so harshly, but he didn’t stop. He kept hitting the door until the knob clicked, the door swinging open to reveal a gravely concerned Seokwoo standing behind it. Youngkyun didn’t waste time, blood rushing in his ears as he let himself into Seokwoo’s home, closing the door behind himself. Seokwoo stepped back to let him in, staring at him with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know who Anonymous is?” Youngkyun questioned immediately, his breath threatening to catch in his throat as he bit his lip. He felt his whole body tremble with fear as he pushed the words out, his nerves begging him to just turn around and walk away. He planted his feet, staring up at Seokwoo. He needed answers, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> was getting in the way of him getting them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span><em>?!”</em> Seokwoo asked, merely blinking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you, or do you not know who Anonymous is?! Jaeyoon’s Anonymous?!” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head as he waited for the answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… no? Why would I?” he asked, stuttering a bit in confusion before giving his answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So it’s not you?” Youngkyun asked, quickly kicking off his shoes before marching further into Seokwoo’s house. He didn’t care anymore. He was letting it all out now. Everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous?! Me?! Youngkyun what are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun pushed open the door to Seokwoo’s office with a loud slam, marching up to his desk with complete certainty before pulling the drawer open, retrieving the one folder he wanted. He opened it, slamming it down on the surface of Seokwoo’s desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why do you have a background check on Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo stuttered, staring between the folder and him. “How did you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I broke into your house,” Youngkyun confessed without hesitation, his hands shaking terribly despite pressing them against the desk to stop it. Even his voice shook now. He bounced with jitters and he couldn’t stop. “I needed to figure out who Anonymous was, and I suspected you, so I broke into your house and went through your shit. I found this before you came home with Taeyang and Jaeyoon so I hid in your closet right there,” he confessed, pointing to the closet. It all spilled out of him at once, like water gushing out of an open bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
    <span>Youngkyun</span>
    <span>!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sorry,” Youngkyun spat at him, tapping the folder with his fingers. “What is this?! Why do you have it? If you’re not Anonymous, then why did you do a background check on Inseong?!” he asked, grabbing the paper and flipping it over, looking to the next one. He hadn’t seen anything else in the folder yet. “A log of every single thing you know Dawon has done?” he flipped to the next. “What about this- wait what the fuck is this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Youngkyun pulled the paper into his hands, holding it under the dim light to look over it. It was a plain sheet of lined notebook paper with pencil scribbled words covering almost every single inch of it. ‘</span><em><span>Bruises</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>no eye contact</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>scared of Him?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Doesn’t talk about JY</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Sanghyuk???</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Hides emotions</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>ABUSE</span></em><em><span>???</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Supports Dawon ?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>looks guilty</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>phone calls</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>no phone calls?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>“babe” to greet</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Avoids questions</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>No physical contact / doesn’t initiate</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>He’s </span></em><em><span>scared</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>knows something knows something</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Anonymous?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Anonymous</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Taeyang? Weird looks</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Likes Youngkyun. Trusts Youngkyun</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>More bruises</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>HE KNOWS</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Dawon Dawon Dawon</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Relationship?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Weird. Not couple like</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Have they ever kissed?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Not real not real</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Faked</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Bruises</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Sanghyuk… smthn Sanghyuk</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>declines his calls?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>More bruises</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Dawon.. Sanghyuk</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>No Jaeyoon No Jaeyoon</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Youngkyun knows something</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Taeyang</span></em><em><span>?</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Soon it’s soon</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Bridge</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>Dawon </span></em><em><span>is</span></em> <em><span>Sanghyuk</span></em><span>’ ‘</span><em><span>not real not real not real not real</span></em><span>’</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… what is this?” Youngkyun asked, carefully lifting his eyes to meet Seokwoo’s. It wasn’t mean or forceful, and Seokwoo seemed to understand the softness of his new look. He didn’t meet Youngkyun’s eyes. “Seokwoo… what is this?” he asked, holding up the sheet for him to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo shook his head, backing away. “You shouldn’t know I have that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is!” Youngkyun pointed out, his voice booming a bit louder than before. He took a step towards Seokwoo, shoving it towards him. “How did you figure all of this out?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was weird!” Seokwoo finally confessed, stepping back from Youngkyun. He parted his lips and stammered, looking for an explanation. “Jaeyoon is weird. He always has been. And when Inseong just came around so suddenly I just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> was wrong. You saw it too, right? You must have known!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you don’t trust him,” Youngkyun mumbled, his eyes dropping to the floor. “You knew this whole time…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That their relationship was faked?! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Seokwoo admitted, nodding. “I work with Jaeyoon most of the time! I’m one of his closest friends so, I mean, it’s kind of hard not to notice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang didn’t notice,” Youngkyun mumbled, shaking his head. Not again, not again. “Seokwoo, how did you notice, but Taeyang didn’t?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Spit it out!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t trust Taeyang either!” Seokwoo screamed at him, shaking his head. “Ever since that bridge blew up I’ve known something was off. There’s pictures online of Sanghyuk there helping the people so I know he didn’t do it, but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, speaking of that, how the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> did you figure out Sanghyuk was Dawon?!” Youngkyun interrupted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo blinked at him in silence for a second. “Wait you’re not shocked?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve known since highschool!” Youngkyun screamed at him, slamming the paper down onto the desk. “I designed his fucking mask for him! So no, I’m not shocked! How did </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The first time I met Sanghyuk he came to your company on behalf of you two, demanded to see a body with no hesitation, knew something was wrong, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ran</span>
  </em>
  <span> to your house, and pulled you out of a fucking fire. I kept an eye on him since then,” Seokwoo confessed with a single breath, shaking his head. “And also, he’s obvious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not obvious,” Youngkyun defended quickly, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo continued shaking his. “No, Sanghyuk is </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> obvious. I mean… Dawon gets beat up by Jaeyoon and suddenly Sanghyuk shows up with bruises? Dawon gets in a car crash and suddenly Sanghyuk has no car and is injured? Weird.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay you’ve made your point,” Youngkyun grumbled, crossing his arms. “But this doesn't explain anything. Why are you digging into Jaeyoon?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t trust him, that’s the only reason,” Seokwoo confessed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Everything about this situation freaks me out, and it always has. Inseong coming into the picture just snapped something in me into place, though. I don’t trust him. I don’t trust Taeyang either. I think he’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anonymous,” Youngkyun finished for him, his heart breaking in half as he said it, visibly deflating. “Fuck…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… how…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m best friends with Dawon, possibly married to Anonymous, a public funder of Seoul’s hero, and the former confidant for Jaeyoon’s mentally damaged boyfriend. Please don’t ask me how I know anything, I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun hissed under his breath, biting his lip as he spoke. This wasn’t supposed to happen. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span> was Anonymous, wasn’t he?! “Seokwoo… do you know what’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but I’d love if you filled me in,” Seokwoo confessed, taking a step towards him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, trying to sort through his thoughts. “I’ll fill you in on the short version. Inseong found out Sanghyuk was Dawon. After the bridge incident, we think Inseong confessed everything going on to him. Chanhee got a call over twenty hours ago now from Sanghyuk. He said </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span> was Anonymous and had blown up the bridge and that they were heading there now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo coughed, shaking his head and staring straight at Youngkyun. “WHAT?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Sanghyuk, Chanhee, and I have known for weeks now that Anonymous was committing crimes in Dawon’s name and had ordered all of the kills of the people found on Xang property.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to be shitting me-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t end there,” Youngkyun told him quickly. “Turns out Anonymous, we think, has really been Jaeyoon this whole time. We think he threatened Inseong because he found out whatever Jaeyoon was doing, which includes killing people to frame Dawon. So Sanghyuk went after him, but Seokwoo they’re gone. All of them. Jaeyoon and Inseong haven’t been seen in three days and Sanghyuk has been IA for over twenty hours now. We can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>find</span>
  </em>
  <span> them… and now I… I don’t know who’s the real Anonymous. I don’t know where- nevermind,” Youngkyun quickly cut himself off, shaking his head. He looked up, meeting Seokwoo’s eyes. “I need to know if Jaeyoon has any hideouts I don’t know about. Any place he might have gone. Have you even </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen</span>
  </em>
  <span> him since- wait. Seokwoo…” Youngkyun mumbled, dropping his eyes to the floor again. “Did you meet Jaeyoon the day the bridge blew up? With Juho and Taeyang?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo stared emptily at the floor. “Jaeyoon did all of that…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“SEOKWOO!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No I- I haven’t seen Jaeyoon. I didn’t meet him that day either, why would you think I would?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun felt his chest burning with pain as he bit his lip again, shaking his head. “Taeyang told me he was with you all after the bridge exploded. He lied.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait does he… does he not know about Sanghyuk!?” Seokwoo asked with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!” Youngkyun yelled at him, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo stepped back, looking Youngkyun up and down. “Kyun… you have a lot of fucking problems.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah no shit, say something helpful please?! I keep secrets from everyone, call me a bad person, I don’t care. Taeyang doesn’t know Sanghyuk is Dawon. He doesn’t know I accused you of being Anonymous or that I know he’s probably Anonymous. He didn’t even know I was still looking into it because I snuck out without telling him. Sanghyuk and Chanhee don’t know Taeyang is probably Anonymous. Inseong doesn’t know I know that. Jaeyoon doesn’t know I’m close with Dawon. Juho doesn’t know who Dawon is, either. I totally broke into your fucking house to accuse you. Yeah, any more issues you want to add to my character flaws chart? I’m all ears. Or… if you have any places in mind Jaeyoon might be that you’d like to share, that would also be incredibly appreciated,” Youngkyun ranted, only realizing how out of breath he was once he had finished. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo shook his head quickly, as if deciding right then and there that he wanted Youngkyun to just stop talking. “I… I don’t. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great,” Youngkyun mumbled, bringing his hands up to hold the back of his head as he let out a pent up breath of frustration. “Just great. Well… I guess we all know what that means now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo blinked at him. “What does that mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun sighed, closing his eyes tightly. “I have to tell Taeyang I know… which means telling him I know who Dawon is and all that shit… because Sanghyuk might actually be in trouble. He might be in some real fucking trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun held his hands tightly between his legs, back hunched over and his head hanging to face the ground. He knew he was shaking, but honestly it didn’t even feel like he was moving. He shut the lights off so he wouldn’t have to think so much, which seemed to make sense to him at the time. There was no real logic behind it, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licked his lips, shivering out an exhale. He was cold. The heat in his house was working but he was still cold. He refused to get up and get something to warm him up, feeling like he deserved to be cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was now just barely past six o’clock in the afternoon, twenty nine hours since Sanghyuk had gone missing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every second that passed without Sanghyuk contacting them felt like an eternity filled with endless possibilities for what could have happened. He didn’t know what was happening and that was the most terrifying part. His lungs forgot how to breathe every time he reminded himself how much he didn’t know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Chanhee was really going insane. The poor boy had ransacked his entire apartment looking for clues, creating even more of a mess than the disaster that had already been there. He went to Jaeyoon’s house and broke a window to get in, too, but there was nothing he could use to find Sanghyuk there. There was just nothing in general, and because of that Chanhee was losing his mind. He was sure the boy hadn’t eaten a single thing since he realized Sanghyuk was missing, and the boy definitely hadn’t rested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was different this time. Of course, Sanghyuk would go off the radar for a few hours if he felt so overwhelmed that even Chanhee couldn’t ground him, but never like this. This wasn’t simply stress induced or the result of another one of Sanghyuk’s migraines. Sanghyuk had told Chanhee to call him. He had </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> help, but his phone died and he was too stupid to wait for backup. He had wanted to contact them before, but now he couldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head again, trying to dispel the thoughts fruitlessly. Everything fell on him, now. Whether or not they found Sanghyuk depended on </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> and what he did. Chanhee couldn’t find him, Seokwoo had no idea where to look, and Inseong was just gone. If they wanted to find Sanghyuk, Youngkyun would have to bite his tongue and take a beating from the consequences of all his lies. He didn’t want to. Even the thought of confessing terrified him to the point where he couldn’t breathe and he was shaking all over again. But Sanghyuk was missing, and finding him was more important than anything else in the world right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door to the house opened before Youngkyun had managed to convince himself he was prepared, which in reality he knew he never would be. He was up from the couch and on his feet in seconds, spinning around to watch Taeyang as he walked in. He kicked off his shoes quickly, flicking on the lights in the main room and looking at Youngkyun with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun!” he called out, his expression clearly worried. “I heard you left work! I thought-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Youngkyun told him, cutting him off with a flat tone as he spun around to face him completely. His arms were already curling around his body, his shoulders crawling up his neck and tears threatening his eyes. Already, he felt like he couldn’t handle it. It was too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, what are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk could </span>
  </em>
  <span>die</span>
  <em>
    <span> if you don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s you!” Youngkyun yelled, closing his eyes tightly and curling his fingers around his arms as if it would make any of his mental anguish disappear. He stumbled back a step away from Taeyang, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang stopped moving towards him, frozen across the room. It was the same look when Inseong had told Youngkyun he knew Youngkyun knew who Dawon was. It was the same frightened expression Youngkyun had when he thought Inseong knew it was Sanghyuk. He was caught in a lie, unsure of what to say. Youngkyun shook his head again, digging his fingers into his skin. His chest burned with pain as he forced himself to keep breathing. It hurt worse than anything Youngkyun had ever felt before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know… you’re Anonymous,” Youngkyun pushed out, his throat fighting against him to cut his words off as the pressure in his lungs felt like it was increasing until he would explode. He swallowed, not daring to look up at Taeyang yet in fear that he would take it all back. “Or…” he began, biting his lip as he began to doubt himself, “that Jaeyoon is… but… it’s you… right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only sound that filled the room was the crash of Taeyang’s bag to the ground, papers spilling out of it onto the floor and pencils and pens rolling out of it. It left the house in an even more deafening silence than it had already been in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So it is,” Youngkyun confirmed for himself quietly, licking his lips and trying not to cry as he shook his head again. “I mean… you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I should have-” Taeyang began stuttering, moving forward across the room with his hands out like he wanted to approach Youngkyun, but he didn’t let him. Youngkyun took a step back big enough to make his statement loud and clear, even as much as it hurt him to make it. He didn’t want Taeyang anywhere near him. When he raised his eyes to see Taeyang, the boy looked broken. His eyes were glossed over with tears and his lip quivered in fear. “Kyun I should have told you. I should have,” Taeyang told him quickly, his voice barely more than a coarse whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, rage bubbling in his chest. He had wanted, so badly, to be wrong. He wanted to believe in Taeyang and trust him until the end, and he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>lied</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I told you,” Youngkyun felt himself mumbling, his hands shaking around his arms. He pulled them away to try and stop it, but it didn’t work even slightly, his hands clapping back around his arms for security. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> you I thought Anonymous was responsible for all those things Dawon didn’t do,” Youngkyun continued, scrunching his shoulders to try and stop the shaking, but it wouldn’t work. He was shaking so badly and he just couldn’t make it go away. “And you sat there and pretended to help me look for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you I thought it was Anonymous!” Youngkyun began to scream at him, eyes clouding over completely with tears. “And you looked me in the eyes and made me feel like you believed me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You accused him of trying to kill us!” Taeyang defended, his voice not necessarily a yell but also not quiet. His lips parted and closed continuously as his mind fished for words that would get his point across. He held his hands out, open to Youngkyun, but he didn’t want them. He wanted Taeyang as far away from him as possible right now. Taeyang shook his head with closed eyes, sobering himself up. “And I… fuck Kyun I should have just told you. I should have said it was me and told you that you were wrong-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Youngkyun yelled at him, lifting his eyes to see him. The tears dried up in his eyes as he listened to Taeyang try and tell him he hadn’t gotten this far because of his suspicions. He couldn’t grasp the thought of it. Taeyang was still trying to convince him he wasn’t right, that he had never been right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said Anonymous was doing all of those bad things! That’s not true!” Taeyang defended loudly, gaping at him. “You’re acting like you think I did all of those things!” Youngkyun pulled his arms closer to himself, refusing to answer. He turned his head away from Taeyang instead of speaking. He wasn’t sure what Taeyang had done anymore, and he couldn’t defend anything about this situation with confidence. He just didn’t know. “Kyun…” Taeyang began softly, stepping forward. Youngkyun stepped back, tears forming in his eyes again. “You don’t… please tell me you didn’t imagine for even a second that I could do something so terrible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Youngkyun mumbled, shaking his head as he stared down at the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun… Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried to kill us</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And you think I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay so I wasn’t completely right,” Youngkyun snapped, looking up to Taeyang knowing full well who had really tried to kill them both. “But I sure as fucking hell wasn’t wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Tayeang yelled back at him, gaping at him with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon never hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>anybody</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Youngkyun defended instantly, his chest bubbling with anger and hurt. He was done listening to people blame his best friend when those accusations took a bigger toll on him than anyone else. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> everyone and their assumptions. “It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> BFF that used Anonymous as a cover name to do everything he did!” There were no tears left in Youngkyun’s eyes; they felt dry as Youngkyun’s lips pulled back in anger. Again, he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>listening.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My- wait, wait, wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Taeyang yelled, flinching back as Youngkyun refused to answer, still staring him down. “You’re saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaeyoon</span>
  </em>
  <span> did all of that?! Youngkyun what kind of bullshit-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Bullshit</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Youngkyun yelled back, blinking at him. “Are you seriously looking at me right now and saying you don’t know?!” At one point, Youngkyun might have felt guilty for accusing Taeyang like this now. But not anymore. Right now, Youngkyun just didn’t believe him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know what?!” Taeyang yelled at him, the tips of his ears turning red with frustration. “What is there to know?! You’re accusing Jaeyoon, </span>
  <em>
    <span>our friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>, of bombing bridges and trying to burn us alive!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>accusing</span>
  </em>
  <span> him!” Youngkyun corrected with a yell, taking a step forward with a confident stance. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head to the side as he blinked wide-eyed at him. “Like how you knew Anonymous was the one doing all of that before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not-” Youngkyun began, but Taeyang wouldn’t let him finish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, go ahead and explain how you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Taeyang challenged, his glare piercing through Youngkyun’s demeanor like an arrow. But if Taeyang had just shot an arrow through him, Youngkyun was about to rip it out without even flinching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> me,” he hissed, a heavy silence falling between the two of them. Youngkyun didn’t let up on his glare, making it dangerously clear to Taeyang that this was a conversation they were having right now, and Youngkyun would not stop until Taeyang saw his side. Taeyang, though, looked at him with a frozen expression, just blinked at him with parted lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon…” he began, his voice soft and slow, like each word he spoke was totally new to him. “Dawon </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> you…” Taeyang mumbled, his eyes finding Youngkyun’s easily. They weren’t soft and understanding. They were sharp. Taeyang was mad. Maybe even more than that. Taeyang looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You know who Dawon is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Youngkyun told him confidently, still barely holding back the malice in his eyes. He had to remember, no matter what, that he still needed Taeyang to give up Jaeyoon’s location. He had to make him understand. “That’s how I knew it wasn’t him doing all of those-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you…” Taeyang started carefully, his fingers twitching as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re standing here getting mad at </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> for not telling you I was anonymously supporting one of our best friends… but you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> one of <em>my</em> best friends,” Youngkyun spat, unable to resist the urge. Taeyang didn’t hesitate a second before snapping back at him, every bit of anger building up in him just as much as it was building up inside of Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are petty,” Taeyang spat at him, shaking his head. “Kyun </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are petty. This is beyond petty! I was doing something good, whether you want to see that or not! I only hid it because I knew you never really took his side for whatever reason. Well, I guess I understand the reason now! How long has it been, huh? Because for me it’s been three years, but I can’t help but imagine you’ve known who Dawon was for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> longer than I’ve been Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun held his chin up, his gaze not wavering. “High school,” Youngkyun spat at him. “I’ve known him that long, so you’d think I’d know if he did that shit or not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
    <span>High school</span>
  </em>
  <span><em>!”</em> Taeyang yelled with wide eyes, stumbling back a step from Youngkyun out of complete disbelief. “So you had all this time to tell me you knew who Dawon was and you just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
    <span>?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In my defense you had all this time to tell me </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were Anonymous but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you see,” Taeyang cut him off with a laugh formed from his utter disbelief. “Those two things aren’t comparable,” he finished, shaking his head and taking another step towards Youngkyun. “I was donating money to our friend. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> were plotting with Seoul’s biggest felon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not a bad person,” Youngkyun hissed at him without even blinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Jaeyoon isn’t a killer,” Taeyang snapped back at him. “Get that through your head!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun told him, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hero</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Taeyang yelled at him, throwing his arms out to his side to emphasize his point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a con artist at best!” Youngkyun screamed at him, doing the same. “He tricked everyone! Me! You! Dawon! Everyone!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>admitted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me that you thought the way Inseong acted around him was off,” Youngkyun reminded him in a low voice, almost like a threat. “How can you have possibly spent this much time around Jaeyoon and still be this fucking clueless? I mean, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>lie</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me every other week saying you’re going to meetings with Jaeyoon and instead you just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never lied! I was!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well you sure as hell weren’t at Xang going over business,” Youngkyun spat, shaking his head. “Oh? You, Jaeyoon, Seokwoo, and Juho went to Hangang bridge with him the other day? That’s funny, because Jaeyoon hasn’t been seen in three days, and Seokwoo ratted you out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Jaeyoon!” Taeyang yelled at him. “I thought you’d feel better about the party most likely not happening if I told you Seokwoo and Juho were with me, so I lied about that!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun froze, starting over every inch of Taeyang’s posture and expression. “You met him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Taeyang told him, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After Hangang Bridge blew up?” Youngkyun questioned, blinking suspiciously at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YES!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where?” Youngkyun questioned softly, raising his brows at Taeyang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His house,” Taeyang told him easily, but Youngkyun could only let out a half assed laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re still lying,” he mumbled, shaking his head at the boy. Taeyang opened his mouth to speak, but Youngkyun didn’t want to hear it. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>went</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Jaeyoon’s house after the bridge blew up, do you know why? Because Inseong told me it was going to happen. He told me something would happen and by the time I got back to the cafe, Inseong was gone. Jaeyoon wasn’t at his house. And when I got home, you weren’t there. So look me in the eyes and lie to me again,” Youngkyun threatened, his anger boiling over, uncontainable. By the look on Taeyang’s expression, he clearly was not expecting Youngkyun to know he had lied. “Tell me where he is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Taeyang denied immediately, shaking his head without hesitation. “You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> proof-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to prove</span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> to you,” Youngkyun spat at him. “I know it was Jaeyoon. So tell me where the fuck he is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon isn’t a bad person, you don’t need to go meet him,” Taeyang mumbled, shaking his head as he took a step back from Youngkyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Youngkyun asked, fed up. He was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> fed up. “What kind of </span>
  <em>
    <span>hero</span>
  </em>
  <span> condones their best friend stealing money for them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re not having this discussion again,” Taeyang told him, turning away for a second to catch his breath. “Youngkyun, I already told you, I never did any of that shit!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So that bank account you totally hid from me on purpose isn’t yours?” Youngkyun asked, blinking up at him. Taeyang’s expression froze again, and Youngkyun was tired of seeing it. “Oh yeah, I found that by the way. You said you should have told me, but instead you went out of your way to hide it from me. I wonder why? Maybe because you steal money, and that doesn’t look too good when I’m already suspicious about Anonymous, does it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hid that account because I knew you would make the connection eventually that the transfers into the account matched the sums of my donations from our accounts to random charities. I lied about that,” Taeyang confirmed quietly, nodding his head. “But Youngkyun, I never stole money.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was literally stolen money in that account as of a few days ago. I’m not even fucking joking when I stress how much you are pissing me off at this point,” Youngkyun grumbling, taking a deep breath. “You hid the account, and there’s stolen money in it. Check the transfer records for yourself. It’s the 6 million won from the bank that was on the news.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never stole money!” Taeyang told him loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then Jaeyoon did,” Youngkyun hissed at him, nodding his head over towards Taeyang’s office. “Go check for yourself if you really don’t believe me. If you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> think Dawon stole the money, then go check your personal ‘donation’ account. It’s right there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t us!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well it had to have been one of you considering you and Jaeyoon seem to be the only people with access to the account and Dawon doesn’t even know it exists,” Youngkyun stated, shrugging. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my god</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Youngkyun groaned, shaking his head. “This isn’t getting me fucking anywhere.” Youngkyun bit his lip at his next thought, but the words were out of his mouth before he could even stop them. “Taeyang, tell me where Jaeyoon is or I swear to god I’ll file for divorce.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is over the top, Youngkyun,” Taeyang told him, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it really? Because if you have nothing to lose then there’s no reason you can’t tell me where he is,” Youngkyun spat at him, panting for whatever reason. How much had he been screaming up until now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re on a fucking rampage,” Taeyang told him. “Calm down first and then-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon is missing,” Youngkyun spat out, shaking his head. “Not only have you been the only person to see Jaeyoon in the past three days, but Inseong is gone, too. He said he knew Jaeyoon was doing all of those things and went after him, and now he’s been gone for over a day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what? Better for Seoul if he’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Finish that sentence,” Youngkyun hissed, the malice in his eyes twisting into arrow tips he was ready to shoot through the boy. He curled his fingers into his palm by his side. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang swallowed his words, backing off. “Maybe he’s just avoiding you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not,” Youngkyun assured him. His chest rumbled with the words he still hadn’t spoken yet. He had tried to go without saying them. He tried so hard to get Taeyang to listen to him by just </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusting</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, but it seemed like that wasn’t going to work at all anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that, he could just be-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk is Dawon,” Youngkyun stated, his expression blank as he said it. He expected Taeyang’s expression to be some sort of mixture of shock and disbelief, maybe even anger that he hadn’t been told the whole time. But when Taeyang rolled his eyes, Youngkyun found himself gaping at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop trying to convince me to believe you. Lying isn’t going to work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just told you… I- I’ve been holding that in for seven fucking years now and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell you… and you don’t believe me,” Youngkyun mumbled, his chest crushing with the weight that Taeyang didn’t trust him. “Sanghyuk is Dawon.” Youngkyun repeated, shaking his head. His confidence was crashing, his demeanor breaking. “Sanghyuk is Dawon, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>telling</span>
  </em>
  <span> you who Dawon is and you don’t believe me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk is our friend!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I’M SO CONCERNED THAT HE’S MISSING?!” Youngkyun screamed, his throat shredding as he kicked the chair by his side. Taeyang stumbled back with wide eyes as Youngkyun screamed again just to let out his frustration, to maybe even get his point across. “Sanghyuk is Dawon! He has always </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon! He just didn’t fucking tell you because you said you hated him so goddamn much! He never hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>anybody</span>
  </em>
  <span> and being blamed for it has ripped him to fucking pieces but you haven’t even noticed! You never cared! You never even asked him if he was okay! He ran into a fucking fire to save our asses but you couldn’t even tell how many panic attacks he was having because he was being blamed for the horrible shit Jaeyoon does!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> if you don’t believe me anymore!” Youngkyun screamed, shaking his head before fixing his gaze on Taeyang. “I don’t give a shit anymore! I’m so tired of lying and always worrying you would be pissed! You don’t even believe me! So why should it matter?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
    <span>Youngkyun</span>
    <span>!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me where the fuck Jaeyoon is. Now. I’m going to get my best friend back,” Youngkyun demanded, getting right up in his face and challenging him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang shook his head, taking a step back. “Not like this you aren’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang I swear to god-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Divorce me if it makes you feel better,” Taeyang dared him, shrugging. “But I’m not letting you leave the house this angry. Jaeyoon is a good person, I promise. I don’t believe you, you’re right. Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> know Sanghyuk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Clearly you fucking don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go talk to Jaeyoon… and we can figure all of this out,” Taeyang proposed, turning around to grab his jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun was still ready to be pissed about everything, to scream until his throat went completely raw. But as he watched Taeyang turn away from him so broken, and so ready to go to Jaeyoon, Youngkyun’s heart dropped. It wasn’t pity or love that made him stop. It was fear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t do that,” Youngkyun told him carefully, running after him and grabbing his jacket just as he grabbed it with his own hands. Taeyang tugged at it, but Youngkyun refused to let go. “Taeyang, stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you can go, but I can’t?” Taeyang asked, raising his eyebrows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>say</span>
  </em>
  <span> that,” Youngkyun told him quickly, shaking his head. “But you’re not going without me, and you’re certainly not going alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon isn’t dangerous,” Taeyang spat at him, a bit of anger resurfacing as he pulled his jacket harshly from Youngkyun’s hands, quickly swinging his arms through it and grabbing the car keys from the table, walking swiftly towards the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun froze, fear coursing through his veins as he watched Taeyang go. He was going right where Sanghyuk had gone. And Sanghyuk hadn’t come back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Youngkyun screamed, sprinting after him. He ran outside without shoes or a jacket, wrapping his fingers around Taeyang’s wrist only for Taeyang to wrench his arm away from him, turning over his shoulder to glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were ready to divorce me, now you’re begging me to stay?” Taeyang asked with a huff, unlocking the car quickly and swinging himself into the driver’s seat. He closed the door immediately behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m begging you not to make the same stupid mistake Sanghyuk did!” Youngkyun told him, grabbing the handle to the passenger door and pulling on it. The wind left his lungs like a popped balloon as he realized the door hadn’t budged. Taeyang had locked it. “Taeyang,” he begged quietly, pulling on the door repeatedly, harder and harder every time. “Taeyang open the fucking door.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang, as if to humor him, rolled down the window in front of him only a sliver, not even looking up at him. “I’ll talk to Jaeyoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do that, Taeyang, no, please don’t do that,” Youngkyun begged with an unstable voice, using the entire force of his body to pull at the door handle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every day, forever, huh?” Taeyang asked, his expression faltering as he stepped on the brake, putting the car into reverse. “I guess today just doesn’t count.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Youngkyun screeched, pulling on the door one last time as Taeyang backed out of the driveway. He ran quickly after the car, begging Taeyang to stay for just a single moment longer to hear him out, but before he could grab onto the door handle again, Taeyang had closed the window, and within seconds he was out of sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun didn’t realize he was crying until he stumbled back inside, grabbing his phone with numb fingers and calling Chanhee’s number, sobbing as he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyu-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang went after him!” Youngkyun cried into the phone, his chest heaving with panicked breaths as tears began streaming down his face. “He went after Jaeyoon!” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. No Feeling, No Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk barely felt like he was breathing. Every part of his body burned and stung with pain, but to him it all just felt terribly numb. Everything was numb. He knew his wrists were bleeding because when he laid down on his side and let his hands rest against the floor, he could feel his fingers laying in a small puddle of blood that had formed over time. It didn’t make him feel great, honestly, but then again blood loss never gave anybody higher hopes and better focus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His shoulders ached so badly with pain and there was no way to get rid of it. It was the position he was forced to stay in that wounded him. His hands, secured tightly and uncomfortably behind his back, were bound so low to the bars that for any other part of him to not be in pain, he had to lay down. He didn’t mind, though. Trying to sit up made him feel dizzy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he did sit up, which was possible, he was stuck in this awkward position with his back bent at a weird angle and his head laying uncomfortably against rectangular iron bars. Sanghyuk wanted to say that was the worst part considering any time he laid his head back, he bonked his skull into sharp iron edges, but it wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So again, Sanghyuk’s wrists bled from moving his arms up and down in slow, constant motions. He rubbed the zip ties endlessly against the iron bars, hoping with everything in him that he was close to breaking them. It wasn’t like he could really check, so all he could do was hope. And while he hoped, his wrists dripped blood onto the concrete floor he called his bed for the past… Sanghyuk didn’t know how long it had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were no windows, so he couldn’t see the sky above him. There was no clock either, so he couldn’t tell time. To be honest, it was driving him insane. Sanghyuk had never realized, before, how much human sanity depended on the knowledge of a schedule. It was fine when a person woke up without a clock in their room and didn’t know the time, or was sitting behind a desk at work not knowing how much longer they had until they got to go home, but not being able to tell time for this long, held against his will, was something else entirely. His sanity broke apart bit by bit, and he found counting the minutes only made it worse. To not know what time of day it was, or even how long he had been stuck down in this disgusting basement, was driving him mad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hunger, by consequence, was also driving him crazy. Sanghyuk didn’t eat food to any schedule as it was, but at least he knew when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> have been eating. Down here he had no idea, but his stomach was definitely telling him it was time for a snack, at the very least. Too bad there was no food down here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Human contact was also something Sanghyuk wasn’t getting any of, and that was the most mind boggling part of it all. Sanghyuk hadn’t been talking to anyone before he was imprisoned, but at the very least then he had the option! Down here he had no other option than to talk to himself, which hurt like hell since he hadn’t had water to drink in god only knows how long. Was Jaeyoon even planning on coming back to feed him and at least keep him alive, or was his plan just to starve him to death like a coward so he didn’t have to deal with it? What a pussy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, picking at the dry skin on his lips with his teeth as he continued moving his wrists up and down, grinding the zip ties against the pole. At this point, the process was wearing away more of his skin than it was the ties that bound him there, but he figured there was no real point in caring. Only three things could possibly happen in this situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing could be someone finding him, which, honestly, was the least likely to happen. He guessed Inseong could tell someone else where he was, but Sanghyuk had a feeling Inseong wasn’t saying anything to anybody anytime soon, if he even had the option. Sanghyuk had the feeling he was just as trapped as Sanghyuk was. He stopped hoping someone would come down to save him in what had to be the first hour, if he was guessing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second thing that could happen would be Sanghyuk escaping by running plastic burn lines through both of his wrists. If he managed to snap the ties he could get out and find a way to call Chanhee. In that case, destroying the skin around his wrists didn’t seem like such a big price to pay for some water and a fucking sandwich. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The third thing that could happen was Jaeyoon coming back down and deciding to finish Sanghyuk off himself. In that case, what difference did it make if Sanghyuk’s wrists were cut to all hell? It certainly didn’t make any difference to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he supposed there was a fourth thing that could happen, depending on how much the deities already despised him. Instead of breaking the ties, Sanghyuk might just accidentally cut deep enough into his wrists and bleed to death on the floor. Again, what difference would it make at that point if he was going to die anyways, be it from starvation or Jaeyoon himself? The burning sensation in his wrists wasn’t exactly his top choice, but he figured it was more peaceful than the other two paths. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he kept moving his wrists up and down, up and down, up and down, not really caring what came of it. Again, he could barely feel anything at this point. The pain in his shoulders felt like a part of him at this point, not that sore limbs were something he whined about in the first place. Honestly, when wasn’t he sore from doing something stupid? The headache he’d been nursing for almost the entirety of the time he was here now certainly made him feel right at home, and he was just thankful he wasn’t having a migraine on top of all of this. Lastly, the burning in his wrists had gone numb a while ago. At this point, if his wrists burned, he barely even noticed. Was it possible that his brain had just shut the feeling off? Or maybe whatever drug the brain released when someone went into shock was coursing through his veins, which wouldn’t surprise him either. How long did it take for that shit to wear off? He was still waiting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was tired, too. Sanghyuk guessed he probably had at least a minor concussion from the fucking stool Jaeyoon threw at his head, but he disregarded that. He was tired like he needed a nap, not like he was exhausted, though at some point the two always kind of mixed together. He refused to sleep, though. It was like throwing one big last middle finger at Jaeyoon, although the man would probably enjoy seeing him suffer awake like this. Sanghyuk didn’t care, to be honest. He just didn’t want to let his guard down. He didn’t want to drop to the floor and drift off to pass the time. It felt like surrenduring, and as long as Sanghyuk was still breathing he would tell Jaeyoon to go fuck himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wasn’t even sure how long it had been since his last thought when he heard the door at the top of the stairs creak open. Sanghyuk wanted to tense up, fight back, and pull that insane move where he ripped the zip ties off and kicked Jaeyoon’s ass. He couldn’t bring himself to do it though. His eyes drooped with exhaustion and he knew he couldn’t break the ties in time. Instead of an urge to fight, Sanghyuk felt small.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart pounded as the first echo of a footstep echoed down the short tunnel. What if Jaeyoon saw the blood puddle and realized what he was doing? He’d rebound him and Sanghyuk really would never be able to break out, then. He had to hide it. He couldn’t let Jaeyoon find it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled himself up to a sitting position, ignoring how uncomfortable it was for him, and scooted his back as far up against the bars as he could. He didn’t care if he was soaking more blood into his shirt or if it meant a horrible stabbing pain in his arms from the bars. He had his hands held down tightly, using the heels of his feet to press him farther back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The footsteps grew louder as Sanghyuk’s heart thumped louder against his chest, his breaths becoming short and quick as he tried not to panic. But he was already panicking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hardened his glare when the fabric of his shirt emerged through the doorway, but all of that was shattered the second he looked up to see his face, realizing that </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang looked at him with bloodshot eyes, his lips parting in shock and his feet freezing before he had even fully descended from the last step. His eyes met Sanghyuk’s with what looked like just as much fear as he currently felt. Or maybe it wasn’t fear… because that didn’t exactly seem right. Didn’t fear usually come after the shock? But then again… how did Taeyang know he was here?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” he heard Taeyang mumble under his breath, his eyes looking over every single part of Sanghyuk before his eyes drifted around the room, slowly landing on the sight of his crushed mask laying in pieces on the floor a few meters away from him. He didn’t look shocked to see it. He didn’t gasp or jump away, or even snap his eyes accusingly at Sanghyuk. He just looked scared for his life, and not because of Sanghyuk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Sanghyuk croaked out, not risking taking his eyes off the boy. He thought his heart would have relaxed seeing Taeyang here, but if anything, Sanghyuk was only more terrified. His heart rapped faster against his chest as his fingers curled into his palms. “Taeyang why are you here?” Sanghyuk asked only a second after he didn’t answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang’s eyes snapped back up to his. His lips parted, but no words came out for a few seconds. Then, “I- I didn’t… you were… he was right… but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip, looking towards the tunnel Taeyang had emerged from. Worry pooled in his gut. “I need you to leave,” he spit out, not realizing how selfless his words were until he had already said them. He refused to take them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you down here?” Taeyang asked, ignoring him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know damn well why I’m down here,” Sanghyuk hissed at him, his hands beginning to shake a bit. “Taeyang you need to leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell Chanhee and Youngkyun where I am. They will handle it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> need to leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“LEAVE!” Sanghyuk shouted at him, shaking his head. Taeyang jumped back with a startle at his words, backing himself against the wall. He was shaking like a weak tree caught in the middle of a storm, but Sanghyuk couldn’t bring himself to worry right now. “I think he has cameras. Taeyang you can hate me as much as you want. If you don’t even tell Chanhee, that’s fine. But you need to go.” Taeyang stared at him, unmoving. “Before he knows you’re here, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk begged, shaking his head. It wasn’t working. Taeyang wasn’t leaving. “Taeyang please,” Sanghyuk continued begging regardless, hoping it would just snap him out of whatever shock he was encased in. “Please you have to leave. You have to go. You can’t- if he finds out you’re here- just please, please go. Go now, please!” Sanghyuk begged, his voice breaking apart from the dryness of his throat. He shook his head rapidly as Taeyang watched him. “You have to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you… you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here! Alive! Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk yelled at him again, his entire body collapsing into a state of terrified immobility as the sound of the door opening again echoed down the hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang’s eyes snapped up to the hallway, his feet slowly backing him away from it. Sanghyuk felt like no matter how hard he tried to breathe, though, he couldn’t. He pulled his wrists against the iron bars as hard as he could, wincing at the pain it caused him but not caring as long as it got him free. His mind was consumed with one thing and one thing only: Taeyang was down here with him, and he was even more defenseless than Sanghyuk was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His teeth bit on the skin of his lip as Jaeyoon emerged into the room, a smirk on his face and a fast food bag in his hand. He was chewing something, smirking as he walked so calmly down into the room, barely even sparing Taeyang a glance. It was too late. It was far too late. Jaeyoon knew he was here, and all of them were screwed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nobody said a word as Jaeyoon walked across the room to his desk. Taeyang, as he did that, stepped slowly away from him, moving closer to the door. Jaeyoon left it wide open for him. He left it completely unguarded like he was telling Taeyang to leave. Sanghyuk wanted to tell him to leave, too, but the words got caught in his throat as Jaeyoon spoke first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I brought food,” Jaeyoon announced, as if the smell wasn’t already consuming the room and taking hold of half of Sanghyuk’s thoughts. “Smell good?” he asked, turning around with a smile on his face as he popped a french fry into his mouth. He smiled right at Sanghyuk, and the sight made him sick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” he spat, shaking his head with a hard glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon pouted, like this was all some sort of game for him, which it was. Sanghyuk didn’t want to play anymore. He wasn’t having fun anymore. “Come on,” Jaeyoon encouraged, reaching into the bag and grabbing a single fry. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten? You’ve been down here for about thirty hours now…” Sanghyuk’s throat went dry at his words, his body seizing up as his mind threw bad thoughts at him. Where was Chanhee? What had happened to Inseong? How did Taeyang find him? Where was Youngkyun?! “When was the last time you ate before then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None of your fucking business, that’s when,” Sanghyuk continued to hiss, refusing to give him any amount of pleasure in an actual response. He had to keep Jaeyoon focused on him to give Taeyang a chance to run, of which he had already wasted many of just standing there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be rude,” Jaeyoon told him, still pouting, but not as playfully. He walked up to Sanghyuk with perfect posture, standing tall above him. When he was standing right by his side, the toes of his shoes almost touching Sanghyuk’s legs, he crouched down. He stuck the fry towards Sanghyuk’s face, and oh god Sanghyuk wanted it. He wanted it so badly he could feel his stomach ready to rip him to shreds if he didn’t accept it. But Sanghyuk still refused, turning his head away. Fries were salty anyways, and the lack of water would kill him if he ate it. It wasn’t worth it. “Sanghyuk,” Jaeyoon mumbled, his voice gentle and coaxing as he tried to stick the fry in Sanghyuk’s mouth. He turned his head even farther away, almost turning his chin around to touch his shoulder as he leaned away from the boy. He heard him sigh with a huff as he stood back on his feet. “Fine. Don’t,” he decided, sticking the fry in his own mouth instead. As he walked back to his desk, he seemed to go out of his way to hit the shards of Sanghyuk’s mask with the toe of his shoe, as if to make a point. He wasn’t exactly sure who he was making the point to, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, how are you?” Jaeyoon suddenly asked, not even turning over his shoulder as he pulled a small box out of the paper bag on his desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang says he’s fine thanks for caring so much,” Sanghyuk responded for him immediately, acting as if he had any ability to keep the two separated right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t talking to you, Hyuk,” Jaeyoon told him, his voice surprisingly gentle and soft considering the situation. “Taeyang, how are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head. “You’ll get fat if you keep eating nasty shit like that,” he commented, his voice as loud and intrusive as possible. His heart was beating so fast in his chest every time he opened his mouth, but that was literally the only thing he could do. While Jaeyoon kept his back turned, he rubbed the zip ties up and down against the bars, spitting insults at the boy and hoping to crack him. If Jaeyoon turned his aggression on Sanghyuk, that was better. Also, if he showed his true colors, it was possible Taeyang would help him escape. Maybe then, they could run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last time I checked you barely ate anything but my boyfriend’s pastries,” Jaeyoon commented calmly, a shiver of dread travelling across Sanghyuk’s skin. Jaeyoon didn’t tense up at anything he said, like he didn’t even care. “Well… that and his tongue, apparently.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like you two were really dating to begin with,” Sanghyuk commented offhandedly, purposefully making his voice sound a bit distant. He wanted Taeyang to hear it. Every comment he could slip into this conversation, he would. He had to distract Jaeyoon, that’s what he was doing, right? “Besides, how did you know about that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Inseong punched me,” Jaeyoon confessed with a snort. It was hardly a thing to snort at, and Sanghyuk found himself fearing for the lives of just about every single person he knew because of that one comment. “He was really angry when I came up instead of you. I… talked with him about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talked?” Sanghyuk asked with wide eyes, blinking at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Sanghyuk, talked. I told him to tell me the truth, and he did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you threatened his family again,” Sanghyuk concluded easily, nodding as he accepted what was happening. Taeyang watched from the corner, obviously having no idea what to do. Sanghyuk wanted to urge him to run, but the second he thought about it, Jaeyoon was turning around to see him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, actually,” Jaeyoon confessed, holding another fry in his hand as he leaned back against the desk. “I threatened to hurt Youngkyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes flickered to Taeyang before he could stop himself, and he barely got a glimpse of the boy before Jaeyoon was turning to him with a smile, as if he suddenly remembered he was there. Taeyang’s face was completely pale, his body looking more like it belonged to a statue than a human being. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, again, without interrupting us this time, Sanghyuk, how are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… uhm…” Taeyang stuttered in fear, his lips quivering. “I’m fine,” he lied, nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon nodded, like he was happy with his answer. “Good. I’m glad you stopped by for a visit.” A silence surrounded the three of them as Jaeyoon looked up to Tayeang, grabbing another fry between his fingers and shoving it in his mouth. “Are you not leaving?” he asked, blinking up at him. “Go ahead. I insist. I’ll call you when I’m done dealing with my little infestation problem right here,” he finished, turning to Sanghyuk with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leave,” Sanghyuk urged him with a quick nod. He turned to face Taeyang, desperately begging him to listen to Jaeyoon, surprisingly. “Please leave. Go to Youngkyun and just don’t even tell him I was here. Please go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should listen to him,” Jaeyoon suggested with a shrug. “He’s the villain anyways, so why stay around to care what happens to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyang’s eyes flickered to meet Sanghyuk’s as he pleaded for him to leave. He watched Taeyang pick up his foot to move, almost crying out in relief that he was leaving. But Taeyang didn’t step towards the door. He placed one foot behind his other, shifting to his left and standing slightly more in front of Sanghyuk. He felt his heart split into pieces as he watched Taeyang stand between him and Jaeyoon, tears beginning to form in his eyes as he borderline panicked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Sanghyuk demanded strongly, but Taeyang didn’t even flinch. Sanghyuk sighed, his head hanging low as he felt completely beaten to the ground. He rubbed his binding against the bars subtly behind his back, begging whatever deities still gave a shit about him to help him out just this one time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon sighed, his head dropping with a sadistic smile on his face. “Really?” he asked, lifting his head with a lopsided yet irritated attempt at a smile. “You’re choosing him over me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You used Anonymous’s name to do some bad shit, didn’t you?” Taeyang asked wearily, and though it was obvious he was trying to be strong, there was a tell-tale break of fear through his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon snorted. “I used Anonymous to hire a hitman, yeah,” he confessed easily, pushing himself away from the desk. “But nah, I did all the rest as Dawon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, pulling his wrists against the bars. “Taeyang, please just go! Please, please, please!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You lied to me… just like he said,” Taeyang mumbled, shaking his head. “I trusted you and believed in you so much and you just…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re really fucking stupid, you know that?” Jaeyoon asked, cutting him off. “Have you not gotten it through your head yet who burned your house down?” The room went silent. “You know, I did that to try and get you and Kyun out of the way because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> you two were going to be pains in my ass. I was right!” He was getting frustrated now, his voice rising in volume and his movements becoming snappy. Sanghyuk rubbed the ties against the pole harder, feeling his wrists burning with fresh cuts but he didn’t even care. “Your husband kept looking into shit he wasn’t supposed to, and now both of you are interfering.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“TAEYANG PLEASE GO!” Sanghyuk begged through a scream, pulling his wrists against the bars harder as Jaeyoon shook his head in disbelief. Slowly, Jaeyoon turned around, reaching up to a compartment in his desk and pulling out a small metal box. “Taeyang </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk continued begging, crying as his blood pooled on the ground around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In fact, all of you are useless and in my way, now,” Jaeyoon continued, opening the box in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>helped</span>
  </em>
  <span> you,” Taeyang snapped at him suddenly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? And guess what?” Jaeyoon asked, his hand reaching inside of the box and swinging back out again to face Taeyang, a shiny silver gun sitting in the palm of his hand. Taeyang flinched back at the sight, but Sanghyuk couldn’t even manage that much. He was a sobbing mess right now and he felt like he was going to pass out. He shook his head desperately, but nobody was paying attention to him. “Now I don’t fucking need you anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON STOP!” Sanghyuk croaked, shaking his head violently as he pulled against the bars. “Taeyang please stop. Stop. EVERYBODY STOP!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate you, Taeyang,” Jaeyoon stated, his voice sounding rather condescending and fake. He took a step back from the desk, still holding the gun up. “I really do. You’ve been a fantastic Anonymous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s breath hitched in his throat as he looked up to Taeyang with tears in his eyes. No that wasn’t possible. He didn’t even know what Jaeyoon was saying anymore, but it wasn’t possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon put the gun down,” Taeyang attempted softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” he decided easily, shrugging. “You’ve already made your choice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m your </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Taeyang attempted, but Jaeyoon wasn’t having it. “Jaeyoon, I’ve known you for-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang, you are so indescribably naive that you’re actually making </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> feel stupid in the process,” Jaeyoon said, cutting him off. “I’m not your friend. Letting you live this long was out of pity after Sanghyuk saved your sorry asses. I never approached you because I liked you, in fact I think you’re both quite annoying. I only ever used you. And wow, you played your part so perfectly for me, but now I don’t need your help anymore, so therefore, I don’t need </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon you son of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitch</span>
  </em>
  <span>, stop!” Sanghyuk screeched, destroying his throat as he thrashed around. He tried to kick Taeyang's leg as a hint for him to run away while Jaeyoon might still let him, but he couldn’t reach him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Put the gun down</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon looked past Taeyang, smirking as he met Sanghyuk’s eyes. “Hyuk…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“BITCH!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to know another little secret of mine?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO! FUCK YOU! FUCK THIS!” Sanghyuk screamed, pulling his arms so hard he heard the iron bars groaning from the pressure. His wrists suffered for it, his arms and hands coated in the blood from them at this point, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t even see Jaeyoon clearly through the tears filling his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon smiled sadistically, tilting his head in enjoyment. “My daddy never died of cancer…” Sanghyuk shook his head, closing his eyes as tightly as he could in an attempt to block out his voice. He didn’t want to listen. He didn’t want to hear him. “... I killed him myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You son of a bitch,” Sanghyuk mumbled, shaking his head before opening his eyes, tears finally falling over his cheeks. “YOU SON OF A BITCH!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon, stop!” Taeyang called out, his voice shaky and terrified. “Jaeyoon </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, leave him alone just fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Taeyang,” Jaeyoon mumbled, his smile dropping as he returned to looking towards him. “I just… I don’t need you anymore. You’re an inconvenience.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON STOP!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much for doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> wonderful these past few years.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“STOP IT PUT THE GUN DOWN!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon held his chin up higher, a smile only showing in the very corner of his lips. He straightened his arm, meeting Taeyang’s eyes. Taeyang shook his head breathlessly while Sanghyuk screamed his lungs out, not even able to hear his own voice over the sound of the ringing in his ears. Then everything went silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say hi to daddy for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s head flew back at the sound of the gunshot echoing throughout the room. He felt the bars dig into the back of his head as he turned away. He gasped for breath, but there was just none there. Everything in the room had just flashed to black, disappearing for the moment as Sanghyuk craned his neck away. He felt a single tear sliding down his cheek as his hands braced against the bars, his whole body tensing. But no matter how hard he tried to turn away, he couldn’t miss Taeyang’s body falling to the ground in front of him with a horrible thud. It was the only sound in the entire room, followed by a horrible ringing in Sanghyuk’s ears that emanated, shaking his entire body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shuttered out a shaky breath, closing his eyes as tightly as he could as he forced himself against the bars, but for whatever reason he couldn’t take another breath. His heart felt like it was failing to restart in his chest and nothing in his body was functioning like it should. Another tear fell from his eyes followed by a whimper, but he wasn’t sure who it came from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, jerking his neck to the side with his eyes tightly closed as he tried to rid himself of the ringing sound, but it just wouldn’t go away. More tears fell from the crack of his eyes as his lips pulled back in anguish. He shook his head more, refusing to open his eyes. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to see it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was already destroying him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was by bad,” Jaeyoon mumbled, though his voice sounded miles away. He was referring to the horrible sound of the gun echoing in such a small place, but if it would undo everything that just happened he would listen to it for the rest of his life. Sanghyuk bit his lip as hard as he could, wishing he could just disappear. He just wanted to be anywhere else. He couldn’t breathe, feel, or speak. He refused to see.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard Jaeyoon’s steps echoing in the room as the ringing faded to a dull pitch, unsteady and uneven as they travelled across the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk slowly peeled his eyes open, trying desperately to search for Jaeyoon through just a squint, but his eyes fell downwards without even thinking, and immediately Sanghyuk was letting out another choked sob. His stomach curled in, and if there was anything in it he would have thrown up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His shoulder was crashing to the floor before he realized he was tipping over, his head bouncing against the concrete as his tears fell to the ground. He pushed his feet against the ground, desperately trying to push himself back even though there was nowhere to go. He cried out another sob, again and again and again as his eyes fell over Taeyang’s motionless figure. Blood pooled on the ground around his chest, staining his entire shirt and dripping over his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk let out another loud sob, pushing himself back. He shook his head until his neck hurt and his jaw was aching, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> see it anymore. He couldn’t forget Taeyang’s body lying lifeless in front of him because he had stayed to protect him. He had stayed because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No…” Sanghyuk mumbled, shaking his head as his eyes found Taeyang’s body again. He wasn’t sure if they had ever left. He swallowed, but it did no good. Shaking his head, he let out another sob. “Tae… Taeyang please,” he choked out, his voice cracking through the middle and breaking his words to pieces. “Taeyang please… no please Tae- Taeyang!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s annoying, stop,” Jaeyoon mumbled, rubbing his temple with the tips of his fingers across the room at his desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” Sanghyuk mumbled through his tears, shaking his head even more. “Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already have a headache now so can you please not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GOOD!” Sanghyuk screamed, banging his feet against the iron bars as he tried to pull himself free. He wrestled with them, pulling his wrists against them until he was sure they would fall off. “GOOD!” he repeated, screaming with everything he could muster up from his lungs. “I HOPE IT BURNS! AT LEAST THEN WE’LL KNOW YOU FEEL SOMETHING!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon shook his head like he was trying to ignore Sanghyuk while he sobbed, his face a mess of tears and bloody scars. He pulled against the bars again, his wrists protesting with a sharp wave of pain, but Sanghyuk ignored it, pulling at his restraints again. “LET ME GO YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks to you, I have everything I want,” Jaeyoon monologued, but Sanghyuk didn’t want to listen to him. He looked to Taeyang again, letting out another choked sob as he pulled against the zip ties again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I hope you get everything you </span>
  <em>
    <span>deserve</span>
  </em>
  <span> you piece of shit,” Sanghyuk spat at him with a stuffed up voice, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to block him out. “Go away. Go away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think the best part about this will be the shock,” Jaeyoon continued, completely ignoring him as he grabbed a piece of cardboard and a roll of duct tape from his desk. He walked over to the center of the room, placing the cardboard down over the grate in the floor. “You’re my enemy after all, so people expect a big defeat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” Sanghyuk breathed out, shaking his head through his tears, barely even paying attention as he ripped huge pieces of tape away from the roll. He secured every edge of the cardboard to the floor, sealing the vent. Sanghyuk started panting from his outbursts as he watched, his lips going even drier than before as he watched Jaeyoon grab another piece of cardboard, continuing to do the same to the vents on the walls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The unexpected is scary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang…” Sanghyuk whined, turning to him instead of Jaeyoon. “Taeyang wake up please. Please, you have to wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang isn’t waking up,” Jaeyoon mumbled, stepping away as the cardboard remained taped to the wall. He threw the tape roll to the desk lazily, watching it roll onto the floor without a care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NOBODY ASKED YOU!” Sanghyuk screamed at him, pulling against the bars again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon was in front of him in seconds, burying his hands in the neckline of Sanghyuk’s shirt and pulling him towards him roughly. “And how unexpected will it be when everyone realizes I’ve already taken care of you? They’re looking to me more than ever now, but they won’t be happy to know you’re gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s chest burned with pain as he attempted to breathe, but Jaeyoon just stared down at him, unamused. He couldn’t breathe. His sobs choked him up even more, but he realized now he was truly beginning to panic. Taeyang was already… but Chanhee… and Youngkyun…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re so weak,” Jaeyoon mumbled, pushing him to the ground like trash. Sanghyuk coughed into the ground as he fell against the bars again, tears still running down his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what Sevoflurane is, Sanghyuk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t,” Sanghyuk begged him through choked out sobs, shaking his head. “Jaeyoon-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s an anesthetic,” Jaeyoon continued, making his way towards his desk and grabbing his things. He packed them all neatly in a bag, ignoring Sanghyuk sobbing behind him. “Oh Sanghyuk… I was so excited to lure you here on my own, but when Inseong did it by accident, I figured what the hell. After all, you ignored my call.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the worst,” Sanghyuk mumbled, turning his face into the blood stained ground as he shook his head, eyes closed tightly. “I can’t- you’re-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve prepared this place for you,” Jaeyoon announced proudly, hooking his bag over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give a rat’s ass,” Sanghyuk mumbled, exhausted from the constant screaming and crying. The adrenaline was beginning to wear off in probably the worst possible time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“These tunnels,” Jaeyoon noted, pointing to the bars Sanghyuk was bound to, “don’t lead anywhere. Every vent is filled in and every exit is blocked off. Your only exit is up there, but it won’t matter anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” Sanghyuk cried, his lips pulling back again as more tears rolled down his cheeks. He knew where this was going. He didn’t have to hear Jaeyoon announce it to know what was coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon knelt down gently in front of him, slowly slipping his fingers under Sanghyuk’s chin. He pulled himself away quickly, jerking his knee forward towards Jaeyoon. He landed one good hit before the boy slammed his head against the bars, holding him by his neck. “I’m going to fill this basement with Sevoflurane, so you can sit here and breathe it in until it fills the entire basement. You’ll pass out at maybe the five minute mark just because the room is so big, but just before that, this entire building is going to explode because I want to make a statement.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so fucking dramatic,” Sanghyuk spat at him, trying to look strong but failing as he choked out another sob.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re losing,” he replied, pushing himself to his feet as he pushed Sanghyuk’s head away from him, into the bars. “Now… if you don’t mind… Inseong and I have an event to get to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gasped for breath as Jaeyoon turned to walk away from him, screaming out for him to come back at the sound of Inseong’s name. He didn’t turn back once, holding his bag on his shoulder as he walked up the stairs, fading away. Sanghyuk screamed and cursed, pulling his wrists against the bars so hard his wrists felt like they were on fire. He could feel the trails of blood dripping down his fingers but he pulled harder anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“JAEYOON COME BACK!” he cried, his face flooded with tears as he looked down to Taeyang in front of him. He shook his head, his lips pulling back as another choked sob escaped him. He pushed himself to a sitting position, moving his hands up and down against the bars as quickly as he could, begging them to just snap and break. “JAEYOON!” he screamed out again, his voice collapsing into a sob as a sound around the room clicked, and within seconds there was a slight hissing sound coming from above him. That must have been the sevoflurane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FUCK!” Sanghyuk screamed, banging the ties against the bars as hard as he possibly could, kicking at the bars. The hissing continued as Sanghyuk’s heart rate rose dangerously fast. He screamed his throat raw as he pulled his hands against the bars. He pulled them again and again and again and before he could register it he was flying forward, a loud snap echoing through the room as he fell down to the concrete.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His wrists stung, burning as he tried to hold himself up on them. No time. No time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyang,” Sanghyuk gasped, crawling towards him without even thinking. He knelt by his side, moving his hands to roll him over a bit, but the second he saw the gunshot wound right where his heart would be, Sanghyuk screamed, falling back as he sobbed. He shook his head, pushing away the hissing sound to the back of his mind as he crawled forward again, placing his hands on Taeyang’s shoulders. “Fuck… </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he whispered, tears streaming down his face as he heaved. He shook his head, curling his fingers into Taeyang’s shoulders. “Tae I’m…” Sanghyuk choked on his words again, his head dropping until his forehead was resting on Taeyang’s body. He could feel the feeling of his warm blood soaking into his hair, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. He cried, and he kept crying, holding onto him tightly. “Taeyang I’m so fucking sorry,” he finally pushed out, his lips pulling back so much it hurt, but he couldn’t stop. “I’ll… I’ll get you out of here… okay? I’ll get you home to Kyun… I’ll… come on,” he decided, pulling his head away from Taeyang as he moved to grab his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the slightest movement, Sanghyuk felt his head spinning. His hands slipped away from Taeyang’s arms as he fell back on his ass, blinking away the feeling in his head. He shook it away, grabbing Taeyang’s arm again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll… Tae I’ll get you-” he fell again, gasping for breath as his vision in front of him doubled. He braced himself against the floor as the hissing seemed to become louder in his ears, but his crying was louder. “PLEASE!” he screamed out, gasping for breath after his words. “PLEASE JUST LET ME TAKE HIM!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sobbed again, crawling across the floor towards Taeyang. He was running out of time and he knew it. It didn’t matter how badly he wanted to deny it, he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> time left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m-” Sanghyuk started, his voice a high pitched whine as he grabbed Taeyang’s hand, holding it as tightly as he could. He didn’t want to forget the feeling. He wanted to remember, for the rest of his life, what it felt like to hold Taeyang’s hand. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, biting his bottom lip as he closed his eyes, bringing his forehead to Taeyang’s hand. “Please… please forgive me. I’m so-” Sanghyuk gasped for breath again, blinking away the black spots in his vision. “I have to go… I’m sorry,” he mumbled, dropping Taeyang’s hand from his own as he bent over his body, gently leaning over his head. “I’ll never… I’ll never forgive myself for this… so please… please don’t let this go,” he begged, gently pressing his lips against Taeyang’s forehead, wiping his nose with the back of his bloodied hand as he stumbled back away from him, trying desperately to push himself to his feet. “I love you Tae… I’m-” he tripped over his own feet, falling to the ground. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled himself up by clinging to the wall, pulling himself up the stairs one by one with legs so numb he couldn’t even tell if he was walking or not. He couldn’t see anything in front of him as he cried, his tears consuming him completely as he collapsed against the door. It fell open underneath him, even as his body rolled onto the ground with a horribly pained grunt. He pushed it away, forcing himself to his feet so he could stumble towards the door. He tried running as he gasped for fresh air, but his attempts just sent him crashing back towards the ground. A scream fell from his lips every time the slightest amount of pressure was put on his wrists, which were seriously ripped to shreds, blood dripping in every possible direction from his wounds. He pushed the thoughts away, forcing his feet to keep him moving steadily forward. No time. No time. Faster!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bit his lip as he focused his vision, pushing himself until he was crashing into the school’s front doors. He fell and rolled onto the pavement, but he didn’t stop there. He didn’t stop when he saw a car pull up in front of the school, or even when Chanhee got out of it with wide eyes and a scream. He didn’t stop when his mind felt like it was slipping from him, or when his lungs gasped for a chance to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ran as fast and as hard as he could. And with the last few seconds he knew he had, with his last breath of air, he screamed “CHANHEE GET DOWN!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within seconds Sanghyuk was thrown into the pavement, his back smashing against the ground as he tucked his arms in so he could roll. Heat covered his entire back, ears ringing from the sounds behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must have blacked out for a second, because when he opened his eyes again, all he could hear was fire. His arms covered his blood and tear soaked head as he huddled on the pavement. He felt himself breathing as he listened to the fire around him, his chest moving up and down as he carefully let himself catch his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within seconds he heard footsteps smashing against the pavement, and before he could even go over everything that had happened in his head, his brother was kneeling in front of him, grabbing the sides of his face to pull him up. He knew it was Chanhee, because that was the only thing that made sense, but his initial reaction of fear forced him to flinch away from him, pushing himself back with a thud before processing that he wasn’t in danger. Chanhee ignored his attempt to back away, moving forward to grab him again and look over him. Sanghyuk didn’t even want to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk closed his eyes, letting the tears fill them again. Not now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon’s going somewhere,” Sanghyuk pushed out, not daring to open his eyes. Taeyang was dead. He was gone, consumed by the fire and the gas that-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” Chanhee told him quickly. “You…. holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> oh my god your wrists…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s head fell back, but he was quick to prop it back up. He had to control himself. He had to stay awake. Because like Jaeyoon said, he had an event to go to </span>
  <em>
    <span>with Inseong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk… where is-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t ask me where Taeyang is,” Sanghyuk mumbled, letting his head fall into Chanhee’s chest. Chanhee caught him, but it was a slow reaction. Tears continued to pour from Sanghyuk’s eyes no matter how hard he tried to stop it. “Please. Don’t ask me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not… please don’t tell me-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t save him,” Sanghyuk mumbled, trying not to lose control of himself but it was too late. Chanhee’s arms came around him as he fell into him. “I couldn’t- Chanhee I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! No Tae isn’t- he’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s dead, Chanhee,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his voice catching in his throat as he forced himself to contain it. He was terrible at it, and tears still fell, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to control it. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!” Chanhee screamed, pulling away from him, but Sanghyuk just grabbed onto his wrist. “TAEYANG ISN’T- HOW COULD YOU-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“LOOK AT ME!” Sanghyuk screamed, pulling his hands to his chest. “CHANHEE LOOK AT ME!” he repeated, falling into a sob again. “Does it look like Taeyang is with me right now? Does it look like there was </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> way we were both supposed to make it out of that?! Look at me and tell me if this looks like a fucking game to you still! Because I might just be delirious from the sevo- whatever, but it doesn’t look like a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> game to me anymore!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee shook his head, stumbling back until he was tripping over his own feet and collapsing to the ground. “No,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “No, no he isn’t… he isn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled his lips into a thin line, forcing himself to sober up. It was painful to push every emotion he was feeling to the back of his head, but he couldn’t think of any other way to get through it all. He looked up to the sky above him, watching the sun slowly set, the clouds shifting into colors of reds and oranges. No time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to go,” Sanghyuk mumbled, closing his eyes tightly so he would only have to focus on his own words. He didn’t want to see the school burning around him and he didn’t want to hear Chanhee’s reaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t… Sanghyuk we-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk hissed, another tear falling. He bit his lip as he tried to stop himself from crying again. He had to focus. No time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know what happened to you!” Chanhee cried out, his voice devastatingly broken. “You were gone! We couldn’t find you! And then Taeyang left to go meet Jaeyoon and now you’re- you’re the only one that came out!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong told me everything,” Sanghyuk mumbled, biting the inside of his cheek. “He drove me here, Jaeyoon beat the shit out of me, and then he zip tied me to a fucking bar. Taeyang came down, Jaeyoon sho- </span>
  <em>
    <span>shot</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and I barely got out before he blew the whole fucking building up.</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> what happened.” He pushed himself to his feet, every single part of his body burning in pain as he did so. His calves ached from not standing for so long while his shoulders burned from being yanked against the poles. His wrists stung any time he moved them and his whole body felt like it was coated in blood, which he was sure it was. But there was no time. He couldn’t worry about any of that. No time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… Taeyang…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee we have to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” Chanhee agreed, licking his lips as he pulled himself back up to his feet. He looked to Sanghyuk, nodding with tears streaming down his face. “You’re right. We have to go. Home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YES!” Chanhee screamed at him, his lips pulling back as he cried. “There’s nowhere else we should be going! Isn’t this fucking enough?! I’m done!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t get to decide we’re done. Not right now,” Sanghyuk told him sternly. No time. No time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, no offense but you look like you just came back from the dead!” Chanhee screamed at him. “I can’t… and Taeyang… how- </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> could you possibly still want to go after him?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said he had to go somewhere with Inseong!” Sanghyuk screamed at him. “I couldn’t save Taeyang, I’m not about to let Inseong die too just because </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span> had enough. We have to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not letting you,” Chanhee told him, shaking his head. He stepped back from Sanghyuk. “I’m not taking you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then give me the fucking car keys and I’ll go myself,” Sanghyuk told him without hesitation, holding his hand painfully out towards him. His whole arm was completely drenched in patches of blood with vein-like trails on every patch of skin that wasn’t completely covered. His hands themselves were completely red, and it wasn’t even dry. He could only imagine what the rest of him looked like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HORIZON!” Chanhee screamed, shaking his head. “I’m calling it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then go,” Sanghyuk spat at him, shaking his head. “I’m not meeting you there. I’m not leaving. This isn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’ll kill yourself to save Inseong, is that it?” Chanhee asked, blinking up at him through his tears. “Tae is… and you’ll just risk your life </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> after everything that happened to have a chance at saving someone that barely helped until now?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t deserve to live more than he does,” Sanghyuk spat at Chanhee, shaking his head. “Inseong never had a choice when it came to getting involved. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So yeah, I’ll stand in front of Jaeyoon’s next bullet if it means preventing someone else dying because of me.” The air between them went still as Sanghyuk caught his breath from his own words. He wouldn’t take them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee stuttered, looking up to him breathlessly. “You think… Tae… because of-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t start that,” Sanghyuk told him roughly, stepping towards Chanhee and holding out his hand. “Give me the keys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t because of you,” Chanhee mumbled, pulling the keys out of his pocket and holding them to his chest as he took a step back. “Sanghyuk don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon was going to let him leave, but he stayed to protect me. Now he’s dead. There is </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> way that isn’t my fault. And I’ll live the rest of my life knowing that. Chanhee, I swear to god, give me the fucking keys!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Chanhee yelled, pulling them out of Sanghyuk’s reach as he tried to grab them. “I’m not letting you go into a situation knowing you’re risking your life again!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not your decision!” Sanghyuk screamed, reaching again for the keys, but Chanhee easily held them out of his reach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m your brother! So it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> my decision!” Sanghyuk reached out to grab the keys again, but Chanhee pulled them away from him. “You can barely even stand! What are you going to do to save Inseong, huh?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I’m not going to let you </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Chanhee screamed, silencing Sanghyuk. He shook his head, taking another step back from him. “We’re going home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, we’re not,” Sanghyuk told him sternly. “If I die, that would be incredible because I have a feeling I’ll be paying for my regrets for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucking time, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee…” Sanghyuk began, biting his lip as he tried not to collapse into pieces. “I… I haven’t eaten in so fucking long. I’m tired. My wrists are so numb I can’t even tell if I’m moving my fingers or not. I just found out I was lied to for my entire life. I just watched one of my best friends get shot in the heart right in front of me. I almost died myself. I had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span> his body to get blown up to save myself! Now… the </span>
  <em>
    <span>killer</span>
  </em>
  <span> is with the person I love… and you want to tell me to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>go home</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” he ranted, blinking aimlessly at the ground. “I… I can’t go home, Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And everyone would be better for it,” Sanghyuk mumbled without hesitation, finally looking up to meet Chanhee’s eyes again. “So either drive me, or give me the keys. I’ll get there one way or another.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk!” Chanhee cried, shaking his head, but Sanghyuk didn’t budge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… please give me a chance to stop someone from dying because of me,” he begged, tears streaming down his face. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tayeang but I couldn’t- I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee held the keys tightly in his hands, blinking at the ground. His eyes shifted everywhere, thoughts running through his head miles per hour. He shook his head like he was arguing with himself, his lips parting to say things he wasn’t even planning to say out loud. After a few seconds, his mind seemed to come to a decision, his expression going blank as he stared down at the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” Sanghyuk told him immediately, sprinting towards the car without a moment of hesitation, pulling the door open with a hiss of pain and throwing himself inside. Chanhee ran after him, jogging up to the driver’s door and pulling himself inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going, then?” Chanhee asked, pushing the keys into the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need your phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee looked down at his blood covered hands before grabbing his phone himself. “Why don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> do the research?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, reaching up for the sun visor and pulling it down while Chanhee unlocked his phone. He opened the mirror part of it, looking into it blankly. His hair was </span>
  <em>
    <span>soaked</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Taeyang’s blood, matted down and sticking up horribly, tinted red. He had trails of blood dripping down along the sides of his head and one small trail going down between his eyebrows, traveling down the side of his nose and across his cheek. His lips were completely red, his chin spattered with blood and small drip trails coming from the corners of his lips. His cheeks were speckled with flakes of blood and there was a nasty cut across his cheek he hadn’t even realized was there with dried blood smudged around it. His eyes were bloodshot, too, and honestly Sanghyuk had never looked at himself in a mirror before and not recognized himself. But looking at himself like this… he didn’t know who he was. He didn’t look like Dawon but he didn’t look like Sanghyuk. He looked like a stranger to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look up any events Jaeyoon should be attending,” Sanghyuk choked out, ignoring the pitch in his voice as he closed the visor. He looked down to his clothes, not bothering to look into the details. They were black clothes, but they were heavy with blood now. He assumed the car seat was also destroyed, but he didn’t really care that much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Easy,” Chanhee replied within seconds. “He’s at a political party at the Lotte Hotel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A political party?” Sanghyuk asked, turning his attention to him. “With… wait, who’s there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm… by the news articles I’d say… </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Half of the political figures of the city are there right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his heart squirming in his chest as he sputtered for Chanhee to start driving. Chanhee didn’t hesitate to do so, stepping on the brake and putting the car into drive before instantly taking off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon tried to kill his dad,” Sanghyuk informed Chanhee as he drove, his hands beginning to shake again. “ They framed my dad because of it. Because Jaeyoon’s father was abusive. And- and your dad- yeah. It all connects. But Jungsik never died of cancer, Jaeyoon killed him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any reason you’re bringing this up now?!” Chanhee yelled, stressing himself out as he tried to focus on driving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Jaeyoon is surrounded by every political figure in Seoul right now and could kill them all with the snap of his fingers!” Sanghyuk yelled back, his breathing becoming extremely shallow as he tried to suck in fresh air. “Drive faster!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This doesn’t seem real,” Chanhee mumbled, shaking his head as he picked up the speed. “None of this seems real. It’s like a bad dream. This has to be a-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s real,” Sanghyuk mumbled, biting his lip. “Trust me… it’s fucking real.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun set completely by the time they even came close to the building. They had to drive all the way across Seoul, first, considering Jaeyoon’s hideout had been on the very edge. Sanghyuk couldn’t stop shaking the whole time, his ears ringing slightly as he tried to think of something in his head, but he had no idea where to start. He had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no plan</span>
  </em>
  <span> and nothing to start one. As it was, Sanghyuk could barely move. He knew he couldn’t fight, so he didn’t know exactly what he was planning to do to stop Jaeyoon from doing… he didn’t even know that much. The only thing he knew was that Jaeyoon wouldn’t be expecting him. He was supposed to be dead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Traffic became heavier once they approached the building, but no matter how much Sanghyuk just wanted to jump out of the car and run, he reminded himself he physically wouldn’t be able to do that. As painful as it was, sitting and waiting was the fastest way to get there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There it is,” he heard Chanhee mumble after getting lost in his thoughts for about the fiftieth time since getting in the car. His head snapped up to the windshield, his body leaning forward as he looked out at the hotel. It was a tall, at least thirty story, building crowded by reporters and fancy cars. It glowed against the dark backdrop of the night sky, illuminated by flashes of cameras and fancy decorations. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes dropped to the entrance of the building, his heart thumping in his chest and his mind instantly panicking as he watched Jaeyoon, almost in slow motion, exit the building with a smile on his face. He waved to the people around him as he left, dressed in a fancy suit and cleaned up like he hadn’t just…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled at everyone, waving his hands until he reached a fancy black limo, graciously stepping into it. Sanghyuk’s heart stopped beating, his breath ceasing, as he watched Jaeyoon close the door of the car behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong isn’t with him,” Sanghyuk mumbled under his breath, watching with wide eyes as the car pulled away from the hotel. His mind spun as he watched the car leave, reports crowding after it to take pictures. Nobody else came out after him. Jaeyoon left… and Inseong wasn’t with him. All at once, Sanghyuk understood exactly what he was going to do. His body went numb as his mind reeled from the fear of it. He looked up to the building. Inseong was still in there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands reached for the handle of the car door, pulling it and pushing the door open as Chanhee eased the car to a stop, but Sanghyuk didn’t even notice. He heard him calling after him, but it was like he couldn’t even hear him. Blood pumped through his ears, clouding his every thought as he fell to the sidewalk with no balance. He looked up to Chanhee with wide eyes as he pushed himself to his feet, a crowd of people on the sidewalk jumping away from him and gasping at the sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s gonna blow it up,” Sanghyuk mumbled, but he wasn’t even sure how loud, before pushing off, running down the sidewalk. People parted from him with wide eyes and gasps, but Sanghyuk didn’t stop for any of them. He kept his arms tightly by his side as he kicked off against the concrete, pushing himself forward as hard and as fast as he could. His heart was beating loudly in his chest as he ran, and he didn’t even know how fast he was running until he was crossing a busy street, horns honking at him in every direction before he jumped up onto the sidewalk on the other side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every reporter around him turned to face him, flashing their cameras at him and screaming. It sounded like nothing but background noise as Sanghyuk ran straight for the door. The bodyguards at the entrance seemed to realize how fast he was coming at that moment, but Sanghyuk didn’t stop. He ran straight for the glass doors, turning his shoulder towards them as he ran, and he crashed right through them. Glass shattered around him as he fell to the floor of the hotel, every face in the room turning to watch him with wide eyes. If he was bleeding from glass cuts, he certainly couldn’t tell as he quickly pushed himself back up to his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“EVERYBODY GET OUT!” he screamed as he pushed himself to his feet. “IT’S GONNA BLOW UP! YOU HAVE TO GET OUT!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ran for the stairs, throwing the door to them open before pushing himself up them quickly. He was beyond winded as he made his way up the stairs, but like being injected with steroids, it suddenly didn’t matter. He busted the door to the second floor open, dragging every set of eyes to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Inseong?!” he screamed, looking everyone over. He couldn’t see him. He couldn’t find him. Inseong </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You- You have to get out!” he screamed to everyone, but nobody moved. He shook his head, gritting his teeth together. He looked around him, reaching to his side for the emergency fire extinguisher on the wall. He smashed his elbow into it as hard as he could, ripping it out of its case. “EVERYBODY LEAVE!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He removed the pin on the extinguisher quickly, holding the handle down and spraying it around as people began screaming, running for the elevators and the doors. The can dropped to the ground as he sprinted back for the doors, pushing himself through the crowd of people before running up the next flight of stairs. He used his hands to push him up, but before he could even get to the next landing, people were already running out the door. Fire alarms began going off in the building, and though Sanghyuk had no idea who had actually set them off, he was grateful they did. He pushed through the crowd, into the next room, grabbing the first person he could see. They screamed and cowered away from him as they met his eyes, but Sanghyuk didn’t have time to care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHERE’S INSEONG?!” he screamed, digging his fingers into the man’s shirt. “TELL ME WHERE HE IS!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Se- sev- seventh floor!” the man screamed, pushing himself away from him and stumbling down the stairs. People began pouring into the stairs from the upper levels, and Sanghyuk was left to wonder how much time he had left to get to Inseong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sprinted up the stairs, pushing past every single person in his way and ignoring the burning pain in his legs and lungs. He pushed himself up every flight of stairs, sprinting around the landings and moving higher and higher up. When he got to the seventh floor landing he pushed several people to the floor as he more or less rolled over them, pushing himself into the elegant lobby. He pushed himself to his feet immediately, looking around quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With everyone around him screaming, it didn’t take more than seconds for everyone to look in his direction, and just like that, his eyes met Inseong’s. The boy dropped his glass of wine, the cup crashing to pieces against the floor as alarms went off in the background. Sanghyuk sprinted towards him easily, but Inseong just looked at him and screamed. Someone tried to step in his way, but Sanghyuk just pushed him to the side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ran up to Inseong, grabbing his hands as Inseong looked him over, gaping. “Are you okay?!” Sanghyuk screamed over the blare of the alarms as everyone in the room filed towards the stairs. Several people stayed, though, just watching. They didn’t believe it was a real fire. He looked around at them, hands shaking. Inseong didn’t answer, and nobody was leaving. So he did what he thought was probably the most insane thing he had ever done in his life. He reached to his side at one of the tables, grabbed a steak knife, and he held it against Inseong’s throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“EVERYBODY GET OUT! NOW!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People screamed at his actions, tripping over their feet as they ran for the doors. Everyone dropped what they were doing, screaming as they ran away as fast as they could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few seconds, Inseong pushed his hand away, the knife dropping to the ground as Inseong threw his arms around him, letting out a choked sob. “HE SAID YOU WERE DEAD!” he choked out, crying heavily into Sanghyuk's bruised shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He tried his best,” Sanghyuk replied quickly, pulling away from Inseong’s hug and grabbing his hand. He pulled Inseong back with him, running towards the stairs as the last people filed out of the floor. “We have to go. The place is gonna blow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“TRUST ME!” Sanghyuk yelled, holding Inseong’s hand as tightly as he could before pulling him with him towards the stairs. He threw the door open in front of him, pulling Inseong as quickly as he could into the crowd of people running down the stairs. He didn’t let go of his hand, making sure to drag him down every stair by hand if he had to to make sure he got out. Sanghyuk was running, sprinting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all happened in a few seconds, as Sanghyuk’s feet crashed to the fifth floor landing and a wave of screams cried out from the upper floors. Sanghyuk barely looked up before realizing the only thing above and below them was stairs. Without even thinking, he pushed the door to the fifth floor landing open, pulling Inseong with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong didn’t even get the chance to ask what Sanghyuk was doing before the loud boom came. Sanghyuk threw his arms around Inseong, both of them collapsing to the ground as everything fell around them. The force of the explosion sent them sliding across the floor as the ceiling above them collapsed and the floor below them broke into pieces, and with it, they fell. Sanghyuk felt his back hit the ground with a horrifying crack, but before he could even register the pain, he grabbed hold of Inseong’s hand again, looking up to see debris and material falling down. And with one last motion, he dove over Inseong’s body, and everything went black. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing Sanghyuk could feel was his fingers curling around the material of a suit jacket. He couldn’t feel the rest of his body, but he knew that much. Slowly, he could feel himself breathing, his chest rising up and down under the crushing weight of something. It took all of his effort, his eyes still closed, but Sanghyuk turned over, the weight on his back falling off and crashing to the floor beside him. He rolled back to where he was, coughing away the dust he had inhaled in the process as his fingers latched around the suit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to breathe in again, but he just ended up coughing it all back out, his body aching with the pain of the sudden motions. He grimaced as his chest burned with a shock of pain, trying to push himself up but just collapsing back to the ground. He gasped from the sting of it, but again, he just coughed it all back out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Help,” he tried to call, but his voice cracked to nothing but a whisper even he could barely hear. Everything around him was deadly quiet, but he could hear sirens blaring outside. They sounded like ambulances and police sirens. For once, he was grateful for that, but they weren’t close enough. The room he was in, assuming it was a room, felt cold and quiet. Lifeless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he tried again, his voice clogged up with the dust he was breathing in. “Pl</span>
  <em>
    <span>ea</span>
  </em>
  <span>se,” he kept trying, his voice sounding like he had no volume to it whatsoever. It was just a coarse whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gasped again as he rolled over more, his chest bumping into something that definitely felt softer than broken rock. He slowly pried his eyes open, taking in what little light there was to see what he was holding onto so tightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His face contorted in pain when he took in Inseong’s face beside him, like he had forgotten where he was and who he was with. He instantly pushed himself up to a semi-sitting position, ignoring the ache of pain it brought. Inseong’s suit jacket was ripped from the rocks that had covered them when the building collapsed around them, and his skin was covered in a thin layer of concrete dust. His eyes were closed, but his chest still rose with gentle breaths. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Sanghyuk let out a gentle sigh of relief, letting himself </span>down slowly, his arm around Inseong like a protective layer. All around him, the building was dark. Pipes and electrical lines stuck out of every possible place while rocks of concrete jutted out in every direction. It seemed they were stuck in a small pocket of rubble. The area above them was mostly clear until two floors up, where the floor hadn’t seemed to collapse. Sanghyuk closed his mouth then, not daring to call out for help in fear of causing something to break. He held Inseong closer to his chest, his arm moving up to curl around his head, like a helmet. </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk whispered to him gently, letting his head drop to Inseong’s chest, listening to his heart beat and feeling his chest rise and fall with air. Sanghyuk pulled his lips into a thin line as he looked around. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered, snuggling against Inseong’s body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled, but it felt dry with concrete dust. He listened to the sirens outside the building, just wishing someone would come in to save them. He couldn’t get out on his own, every entrance had been collapsed and blocked off. As far as he knew, they were five stories up, but that might have changed. Truth be told, he had no idea where in the building they were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk choked up, pulling Inseong even closer to him if that was at all possible. It reminded him of how he had held Taeyang so closely to him before running, before it had all vanished away from him. Sanghyuk curled his fingers into his palm, remembering the feeling of holding Taeyang’s hand. He swallowed, curling his arms around Inseong even more. “I won’t leave you,” Sanghyuk promised him in a broken, cracked voice. He snuggled his head against Inseong’s chest. “I’m not gonna leave you… I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his breathing becoming a bit shallower as his vision faded in and out a bit, but above all things, he refused to let go of Inseong. He felt dizzy without even moving, clutching Inseong close to him as his lips began to pull back in a small choked out sob of pain and fear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving you… never.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t have the energy to lift his head up when he heard the sound of rocks shifting around him. Faintly, he could hear the sound of footsteps over the crumbled rocks. He felt like he could barely even open his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As an instinct, he pulled Inseong closer to him, curling his fingers around his jacket. He wouldn’t leave him. He wasn’t leaving until they both died or were rescued. He wasn’t leaving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The footsteps grew louder and louder, until they were right next to Sanghyuk’s ears. Sanghyuk wanted to open his eyes and beg for help, but he was too weak. He couldn’t lift his head. He could only tighten his grip around Inseong’s jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, he felt Inseong shifting from under him, and before he knew it, Sanghyuk was pushed off of him, his grip failing to hold any grip around his sleeves as he was pulled away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inse- Inseong-” Sanghyuk gasped, but it was barely any use. He pressed his hands against the ground as hard as he could, trying to push himself up as he opened his eyes. His head was still balanced on the ground beneath him as he managed to blink his eyes open, breathing so hard from that one small movement that he was completely out of breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A man in a brightly colored rescue team vest cradled Inseong in his arms, his legs spilling over his arms and his head tilting back. Sanghyuk watched with blurry vision as the man walked away, gasping to call for help, but he couldn’t push anything out. His fingers curled into the concrete beneath him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ple- se-” he gasped, tears building in his eyes and blurring the rest of his vision as he tried to call out for him. “Pl- please-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He reached out for the familiar figure, recognizing his shoulders like he had stared at his back his entire life. He gasped for more breath, but he couldn’t breathe at all. He reached out for the two of them, but his head just collapsed to the ground again, a groan escaping him as he panted for breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please…” he croaked, his eyes fading shut again against his will. “Jae- jae-” his nose fell into the concrete, his mind fading away. “Come… ba- back…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, what happened to this guy?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look at his wrists! This doesn’t look like it came from the explosion.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> what the-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys let’s just get him out of here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he even breathing? He looks dead!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s breathing, but check his pulse. This guy might as well already be dead!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But he’s not, so let’s get him onto a stretcher.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk could feel nothing but his weight lifting from the ground. He tried to blink himself awake, but it was absolutely useless. His lips didn’t even open when he tried to speak. His head tilted to the side, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t lift it up. He couldn’t move his fingers or control his breathing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt like he was trapped inside a dead body as he felt himself being carried away. The only part of him that might have moved was his fingers, curling emptily around nothing but air. Inseong was gone.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Taeyang dying was my cousin's idea for the story, so blame her not me :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Start Running</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled over in his hospital bed, turning away from the boy standing at the other side. He curled his arms around himself, burying the side of his face into the pillow. He showed his back to him, gritting his teeth together to try and hold back his tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t said a word since he woke up a day ago. He woke up surrounded by doctors, his mind completely numb as they tried to fix him up. They didn’t know he was already too damaged to put back together, so they did their best on the outside. The doctor, who’s name he had already forgotten, called his silence the result of shock. To be honest, Sanghyuk couldn’t say she was wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A lot had been wrong with him on the outside. They took his clothes, replacing them with a hospital gown he didn’t want to be in, but he supposed that was better than the concrete and blood stained clothes he had been wearing. His wrists were completely bandaged up like he was wearing a brace on both arms. He had heard something about stitches, but he didn’t remember them giving him any. Maybe it had only been a possibility. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s hair and skin was also clean now, thanks to the nurses that cleaned him up. He didn’t fight against them, rather he just let them move him around like a lifeless doll. In the moment, he wished he was one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had bandages covering his arms, legs, waist, and head, now, but he wasn’t exactly sure why. Apparently, he had been nicked by lots of things in the past… who knew how long it had been. He had cuts from the stool, bruises from the bars, cuts from the zip ties, nicks from the glass, scratches and scrapes from falling concrete and metal, and even more bruises from apparently falling all the way to the third floor where he was found. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>None of that compared to the emotional pain he was feeling, though, but he had no idea where to even begin with that. He just chose to ignore it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nobody knew who he was, besides his name and address. Chanhee, the hospital assumed, was his legal brother, hence why they allowed him to visit. Reporters were going crazy, though. Chanhee had told him everyone wanted to know who he was, considering a lot of people lived because of him. He got a shit ton of people out of that building in time, and now everyone wanted to know how he knew and who he was. But that didn’t mean shit to him, because a lot more people had died. Everyone in the upper floors who couldn’t get down in time died. Everyone who got caught in the stairwell died. Half of the people caught in between floors had died. People on the streets got injured from falling debris. People got hurt in the car crashes that happened moments after the explosion. So really, Sanghyuk didn’t care too much that a handful of people lived because he threatened Inseong with a knife and sprayed half of them with a fire extinguisher. A lot more had died.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything about the situation was bad. A lot of people now, with Sanghyuk’s pictures all over the internet, were calling him Dawon. It was the black clothes that convinced people, and some even went as far as to point out his hair and shoes. A lot of other people, though, claimed it couldn’t be him since he ran in to save everyone. They blamed Dawon for blowing up the building. And everything might have been a bit clearer if Jaeyoon had shown up since it all happened to make a statement, but just like last time, the boy had disappeared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nobody had seen him since he left the building in his limo, which Sanghyuk found incredibly hard to believe since </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> had seen him after that. Nobody knew that, though, because Sanghyuk didn’t say it. He didn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk… please say something,” Chanhee begged from behind him. He could hear the tears in the way his voice sounded so clogged up, but he barely reacted to it. He just hugged his arms tighter around himself. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the pillow. “I… I need you to say something… please.” Sanghyuk didn’t respond. He had nothing to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You-” Chanhee choked out, but he was overcome by his tears. “You haven’t spoken for a whole day now… and I don’t know what to do next.” Sanghyuk shrugged his shoulders up higher, burying himself even more. “Please tell me what to do… I don’t- I can’t do it without you. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence fell between them again as Sanghyuk refused to answer. At this point it hurt him not to answer, to just listen to Chanhee beg him to speak only to ignore him. But he didn’t want to speak. He felt like he didn’t deserve it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all… he had lost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk please just look at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t turn around. He closed his eyes tighter, trying to block out his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re… you’re blaming yourself for all of it I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> you are but it’s- it’s not your fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip as he pressed his face into the pillow. He didn’t want to hear him or listen to what he had to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>All</span>
  </em>
  <span> of it was his fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room stayed silent, and Sanghyuk didn’t answer. Chanhee sounded like he was going to say something again, but the sound of his phone ringing cut him off. Sanghyuk waited for him to answer it, but he didn’t. The phone kept ringing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Youngkyun again,” Chanhee choked out, his voice sounding even smaller than it already had. “He’s been- he’s been calling me this whole time but… I don’t know what to tell him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was bait to get him to respond, but Sanghyuk still didn’t reply. He held his head to the pillow and breathed in its scent to ground himself, as if reality wasn’t already bashing him into the ground as it was. The phone stopped ringing, plunging the room into silence again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The nurse will only let me visit for so long,” Chanhee mumbled after a long, drawn out silence. He could hear the dejection in his voice, but still he didn’t speak up. He heard the sound of something being placed on his bedside table, but he pretended not to notice. “If you call me though… and you decide you want to talk… I’ll break in if I have to, okay?” Sanghyuk exhaled in the silence, leaving Chanhee even more choked up than before. “I’ll… come back later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door closed behind him as he walked out, and when Sanghyuk turned over in his bed he found a small black burner phone on the table. He sighed, sinking further into the bed. He wasn’t trying to upset Chanhee, he really wasn’t. He just had nothing to say to him yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been wrong. He had lost. He had fucked up so many things and he didn’t want to face his brother knowing he had done all of that. But even worse than that, Chanhee still believed in him. Chanhee didn’t blame him, but god he wished he did. Sanghyuk wanted Chanhee to hold him accountable for once in his goddamn life, chew him out for the mistakes he had made, and maybe even knock some fucking sense into him. But Chanhee still looked up to him, and that disgusted Sanghyuk. He didn’t want to be looked up to. He wanted to be blamed, just like he knew he deserved to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked over to the phone on the table again, knowing in the back of his mind that Chanhee shouldn’t be having to deal with his problems for him. He reached over, picking up the phone. It was a tiny flip phone that sat in the palm of his hand, nothing more than a way of contact. Sanghyuk flipped it open, ignoring the contact Chanhee had put in there for himself as he dialed another familiar number. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He brought the phone up to his ear, waiting as it rang. When it clicked, Sanghyuk felt his heart stop in his chest. Poor Chanhee for having to put up with all of his shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Youngbin,” Sanghyuk mumbled, his voice unsteady from the lack of use. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sang- Sanghyuk?! Oh my god are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you do me a favor?” he asked, cutting the boy off. “We can…” he cleared his throat. “We can talk when you get here… if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you need?” he asked immediately. Youngbin was someone who didn’t know what was going on, yet. He would still be willing to help him. It made Sanghyuk feel even more sorry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Some clean clothes? You sneaking into my room as a nurse? Breaking me out for a few hours?” Sanghyuk asked with a nervous laugh, making his request sound like a joke when it absolutely was not. He didn’t expect Youngbin to agree to all of it, but he hoped by asking for something so insane, Youngbin would compromise and at least agree to half of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes went wide, his lips parting in shock. “Wait… really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be there in a few. Give me some time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… okay,” Sanghyuk mumbled, listening as Youngbin ended the call. He didn’t pull the phone away from his ear for a while, sitting in stunned silence at Youngbin’s willingness to do something so illegal to help him. Eventually, though, he dropped his hand from his ear, letting the phone fall to his lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just like promised, Youngbin showed up about half an hour later clad in a nurse’s coat with a face mask over his smile. He walked in with a clip board in his arms, pulling Sanghyuk’s fresh clothes out of the inside of the coat. Sanghyuk didn’t speak to him at first, either, rather he just gave him an appreciative smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His whole body hurt like hell, so Youngbin helped him get dressed, urging him to take it easy as he slid the sweatpants over his legs. He didn’t take off any of the bandages, but Youngbin already had a cloth face mask ready to cover a majority of the ones on his face anyways. Again, another appreciative smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin walked him out of the hospital without anyone even noticing he was leaving. They snuck him past the lobby, actually using a back door by the cafeteria that led to a small outdoor area to get out, and then proceeding to climb the fence behind a wall while nobody was looking. Sanghyuk did not enjoy climbing the fence even a little bit considering his wrists, but he had to admit it was the best way to get them out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shoved his hands in the pockets of the sweatpants he was wearing as they walked over to Youngbin’s car. He got into the passenger seat without a word, and Youngbin didn’t push him. He really appreciated that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The car fell into a silence without the radio on as Youngbin waited for Sanghyuk to tell him where he wanted to go, but he seemed to understand how much effort it took to work himself up to it. He waited patiently, without pushing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk took a deep breath, biting his lip. “I lost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin nodded, looking out the windshield. “I can tell.” Sanghyuk nodded, folding his hands in his lap. He was trying to figure out what to say next when Youngbin continued. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you do when you try as hard as you possibly can… and still lose?” Sanghyuk asked quietly, his voice still getting used to talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin exhaled, leaning back in his seat. “I guess that’s when you decide if you’re willing to try again or not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trying again would just mean losing again,” Sanghyuk pointed out quickly, but Youngbin just shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not if you do it differently.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Differently? Differently how?” Sanghyuk asked, turning to Youngbin. “Do you know who blew up that building?” Youngbin met his eyes before shaking his head. “It was Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon blew up the bridge and that building and killed all of those people. He held me captive in a basement for over a day before trying to kill me anyways. He…” Sanghyuk swallowed, but didn’t say it. “So exactly what am I supposed to do differently when I’ve lost already?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin stayed silent for a moment, almost long enough to convince Sanghyuk he didn’t really have an answer at all. Then he spoke, his voice echoing throughout the car like he had just screamed into a chasm. “You’ve already lost?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything,” Sanghyuk confirmed with a nod, not really enjoying how there seemed to be absolutely no hope for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin turned to face him again, his expression serious. “Then try again without holding back,” he suggested, and before Sanghyuk could open his mouth to reject, Youngbin cut him off again. “What do you have to lose if you’ve lost everything already?” Sanghyuk felt his mind reel from Youngbin’s words as he stuck the keys in his car, starting it up. “Where do you want to go?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk cleared his throat. “Youngkyun’s house please,” he mumbled softly, listening to the hum of the engine as Youngbin started driving. He turned his head to look out the window as Youngbin drove, taking in the absolute dullness of the city. It wasn’t pretty. Grey clouds loomed over the sky as if the mood wasn’t sour enough already. Every news station flashed clips of the Lotte Hotel going up in flames and collapsing, and the streets seemed even emptier than they usually did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk seriously didn’t understand the situation at all. People were scared, just like Jaeyoon wanted. They searched a long time to find the signature ‘D’ left at the site of the explosion, but they never found one. Everyone was so quick to blame Dawon, but now half of them were saying it was Dawon who tried to warn everyone. Nobody knew where Jaeyoon was and Youngkyun and Taeyang weren’t making any appearances. Nobody connected to the biggest news scene in Seoul was showing, and so everybody was left in an equivalent to an information blackout. Everybody wanted to know what was happening, but nobody was around to give them the answers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so people were scared. They hid in their homes and watched their backs on the streets. They didn’t know who to trust, and everyone who had been looking towards Jaeyoon either became suspicious or even more terrified that something had happened to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon had everyone terrified, just like he wanted. So where was he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had said himself it was his plan to strike fear into everyone by coming clean. He was going to have everyone looking to him to save them just to rip the innocence from everyone. And he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>won</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had killed his biggest supporter, silenced his pretend boyfriend, and eliminated the threat of Dawon. He had control of everything, including media interpretation and the public’s favor. So where the hell was he now? Why was he still hiding? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it some sick game to let it all sink in? Or maybe he was looking for something. Sanghyuk, in some sick way, knew he was safe now. Jaeyoon had seen him awake back when he took Inseong but he had just left him there, even though he was defenseless and weaker than he had ever been. Jaeyoon didn’t kill him, like he wanted to leave him alive just so he could live with the fact that Jaeyoon had won. How amusing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk wasn’t amused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Youngbin pulled the car to a careful stop outside of Youngkyun’s house, snow was fluttering down from the sky. There was no wind to blow it around, so it just drifted freely at its own pace. It wasn’t snowing hard, just enough to make the scenery even duller than it had been before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk swallowed as he looked towards the house, knowing Youngbin was watching the back of his head. He felt bad keeping it from him when he was already here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what I’m about to do?” Sanghyuk asked quietly, barely hearing his own voice as he spoke. Youngbin shook his head, watching him carefully as he swallowed again, looking out the window as his hand fell to the handle. “I’m about to tell my best friend his husband is dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed the door open before he could see or hear Youngbin’s reaction. He closed the door softly behind himself, hugging his arms around his torso as he walked slowly across the street to the front door of the house. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, his whole body pulsating as he breathed out slowly, his breath appearing in white puffs of warm air against the cold outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he made it to the door, he hesitated. He didn’t want to do it. Who in the fucking world wanted to do what he was about to do?! But it was nobody’s job but his, so he had to be the one to tell him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a heavy heart, his lips pulled into a thin line and his eyes unable to lift from the center of the door, Sanghyuk raised his hand, and let his knuckles fall against the wood. It only took seconds for the door to swing open, Youngkyun standing on the other side with eyes so wide Sanghyuk thought they would pop out of his head. He looked… terrible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His long hair was greasy from lack of a proper shower and his eyes were bloodshot and the skin around them was bloated. His lips were a bit more red and irritated than they usually looked, and his cheeks were flushed from either crying or not sleeping. He had slight purple marks under his eyes that detailed that for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a second, Youngkyun just stared at him, completely frozen, before blinking in realization at who Sanghyuk was. “You…” he mumbled, and already Sanghyuk felt like he was going to cry. “You’re supposed to be in the hospital…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, holding his arms tightly around himself. “I am,” he confirmed quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it Taeyang?” he asked, taking a step towards the door frame as he looked at Sanghyuk with wide eyes still. “Chanhee… when he told me where he had found you and what happened after that, he didn’t mention Taeyang. And he- he won’t answer my calls. You saw him, right? He went there to find Jaeyoon and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, silencing Youngkyun. His throat felt blocked up with everything he was feeling, but he reminded himself that he was the one that had to do this. Nobody else should have the bear the weight of telling him when Sanghyuk was the reason it had to be said in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon had me tied up in the basement of an abandoned school,” Sanghyuk explained softly, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. The still coldness of the air around him consumed him, threatening to drag him down until he collapsed under the weight of it. But he knew it wasn’t really the air. It was his guilt and his mistakes. It was him. “I was zip tied to a bunch of bars,” he continued, blinking down at the ground as he tried not to let himself get choked up already, but it wasn’t working. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “I don’t know how Taeyang knew where I was,” he began, his eyes already glossing over with tears as he remembered the look in his face when he saw him down there, how Sanghyuk had become even more scared when he realized his friend had come alone. “But he found me in the basement. He looked… scared. But… not of me, just… scared,” Sanghyuk continued, swallowing to clear his throat as the tears brimmed the edges of his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I begged him to go but then Jaeyoon came down and… and Jaeyoon told him he could leave. He told- Jaeyoon-” Sanghyuk swallowed again, “that Taeyang could leave but he-” Sanghyuk shook his head as the picture of Taeyang stepping in front of him flashed to his mind, how Taeyang had been so ready to defend him after everything he had done. “He didn’t leave. He- he stood in front of me instead and he- he looked at Jaeyoon- he- and he called him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>liar</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He stood in front of me and tried to call him out but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon pulled a gun on him,” Sanghyuk continued, tears falling from his eyes and dripping down his cheeks as he held his head facing the ground. “And I- we- I couldn’t- he just pulled the- the gun out and </span>
  <em>
    <span>taunted</span>
  </em>
  <span> him and Taeyang tried to get- tried to get him to understand and I- I was screaming but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk finished lamely, shaking his head as his lips curled back. “Youngkyun I… I couldn’t… I couldn’t save him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, his lips parting in disbelief as he took a step back from Sanghyuk, still shaking his head. “No,” he mumbled, watching Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk let more tears fall as he looked up to see Youngkyun, but the boy looked so far away now, still shaking his head as he denied it. “No you’re not… Tae isn’t- he’s not…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk hung his head down again as he failed to stop a sob from passing his lips, and that was all it took for Youngkyun to fall back from him, shaking his head as he slipped and fell to the ground. “No- no, no! You’re- you’re saying… you’re saying but- but it doesn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He shot him, Kyun,” Sanghyuk choked out, listening to Youngkyun’s cry that followed. Sanghyuk bit his lip, tears falling down his cheeks. “He… he-” Sanghyuk winced, not wanting to say the words he knew he had to say anyways. He bit his lip as he cried, trying to get himself past it. “He died instantly,” he finally chocked out, letting another sob follow it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- he- NO!” Youngkyun cried, shaking his head as he brought his hands to his hair, running them through it and pulling at it as tears began dripping from his eyes. “No, he- Taeyang…” Youngkyun kept mumbling, but he couldn’t deny it. He shook his head as his knees curled up to his chest, and he began to sob. He started screaming with his eyes closed as he cried out, hands digging into his scalp and tears streaming down his cheeks like waterfalls. “Tell me it isn’t true!” Youngkyun screamed at him, shaking his head with his lips pulled back as he cried. “Please!” he begged, his hands falling to his chest as he seemed to collapse in on himself. “Tell me it’s- that it’s some sick joke!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk choked out, listening to him cry even harder. He shook his head, his heart ripping apart at the seams as he listened to his best friend cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told him not to go!” Youngkyun screamed, his head falling to his knees as he curled himself into a ball. “I- I told him but- he just… he wanted to prove it! To me! He wanted to prove to me that- but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault,” Sanghyuk mumbled immediately, shaking his head as tears strode down his cheeks. “Kyun, it’s- it’s not your fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He went because of me!” he screamed, shaking his head as his fingers dug into his collarbone. “Because I got- I got mad at him and- oh no no no I- no Tae left and- and I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad</span>
  </em>
  <span> he heard me yelling and- no please </span>
  <em>
    <span>n</span>
    <span>o</span>
    <span>!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, it’s not your fault,” Sanghyuk told him through his tears again, snapping out of his motionless state and bending down in front of Youngkyun. He slowly reached his hand out. “He-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Youngkyun screamed at him, shaking his head and pushing himself back. “You… you’re lying he can’t… </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt broken as he pulled himself back from comforting the boy, holding his hands to himself and just watching his friend rip himself apart. “Kyun I… I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he cried, closing his eyes and letting himself feel as broken as he ever had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No… no please I- I want him back. Bring him back </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> I want him back,” Youngkyun cried, falling over onto the ground and covering his face with his arms. “This isn’t fair… he didn’t… he just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please leave,” Youngkyun requested through his tears, lifting his hand to wipe them away only for them to come rolling back the second he did. “Please go away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You came to say what you had to say so </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his breath hitch in his throat as he simply nodded, pulling himself up to his feet weakly and turning around without even saying goodbye. Goodbyes were for people who wished to return to each other, after all, and Sanghyuk’s heart sunk in his chest as he figured he wasn’t welcome to return. He nodded, curling his arms around himself as he crossed the street, pulling open the door to the car and closing it behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin just stared at him emptily, still gaping, but Sanghyuk just shook his head, biting his lip. “Can you please take me back, now?” Sanghyuk asked with a stuffed voice, staring down at his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s… dead?” Youngbin pushed out, still staring at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed, lifting his hand to wipe his tears away despite the fact that they kept falling anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to drive me back,” Sanghyuk assured him in a low voice. “It’s… my fault. So I understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached to pull the door open to let himself out, but Youngbin was quicker to lock it, sticking the keys in the car and clearing his throat before pulling away from the curb. Sanghyuk couldn’t stop himself as he began crying again, covering his face with his hands as he continued to sob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee knew Sanghyuk left because Youngbin told him, but Chanhee didn’t say anything to Sanghyuk about it. None of the hospital staff had known, so it became one of those things that just got swept under the rug. Chanhee tried calling Youngkyun, but he didn’t answer his calls. He didn’t answer anyone’s calls, and as much as Sanghyuk wanted to go back and comfort him, he knew he wasn’t welcome. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk collapsed in Chanhee’s chest that night as he cried about everything that had happened. He told him about being tied up in the basement, Jaeyoon shooting Taeyang, the anesthesia gas, finding Inseong, and even Jaeyoon taking him. He told him everything until he passed out from exhaustion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now it was four days later, and Sanghyuk had stopped crying. It wasn’t that he just didn’t feel sad, but it felt more like no matter how much he felt like he should be crying, he wasn’t. He was back to feeling numb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So maybe it was his numbness that guided his logic when Chanhee asked what was wrong in the hospital cafeteria after Sanghyuk had spent ten minutes just picking at his food, but if it was, Sanghyuk didn’t mind. His numbed up self had more logic than any other self of his ever had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to leave Seoul,” he mumbled, looking up to meet Chanhee’s wide eyes. The boy blinked at him, no response in his mind that could probably express how conflicted he felt. Sanghyuk returned his eyes to his food. “I can’t tell if you agree or you think I’m a coward.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just shocked,” Chanhee confessed, looking up at Sanghyuk. “Why do you want to leave?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because everybody’s looking at me,” he confessed, grabbing his chopsticks and picking up a few noodles with them. He shoved them in his mouth, chewing carefully as Chanhee waited. “I’m the guy that ran into a hotel covered in blood screaming that it was going to blow up right before over a hundred people died in exactly the way I predicted.” He shook his head, shoving more noodles in his mouth. “I’m tired of being looked at.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what about Inseong?” Chanhee asked under his breath, just loud enough for Sanghyuk to hear. “Jaeyoon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… I already tried,” he said, using the lamest excuse he could possibly make. “Besides, we don’t know where they are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon already won,” Sanghyuk mumbled, jabbing at his noodles with his chopsticks. “So I shouldn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re so content with it, then why are you murdering your noodles?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t even make jokes about that,” Sanghyuk snapped at him, watching as Chanhee’s face fell at the realization. Sanghyuk dropped his chopsticks to his tray, leaning back in his chair. “I’m running away, are you happy? I did everything I could, but I’m not powerful. I’m just a piece in Jaeyoon’s chess game, and he used me. I’m off the board now, get it? I can’t just put myself back in. I’m out, and I don’t want to confront him again. I’m scared. I already lost so much, and Youngbin said something about not having anything left to lose, but I still have </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much</span>
  </em>
  <span> I could lose. You! Youngkyun! Youngbin! I’m not- I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> risk more than I already have. Let the authorities do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The authorities won’t be able to do shit and you know it,” Chanhee reasoned, shaking his head. “When have they ever?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then it can be their fault, not mine. I can’t do anything else to help. So… can we please just go home now? I want to pack up what little we own and leave. I want to stop paying attention to the news and at least attempt living how we should have done in the first place,” Sanghyuk rambled, waving his hands around a bit as he talked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee huffed at him, crossing his arms over his chest. “And you think you can live with that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?” Sanghyuk asked, pushing his chair out from the table and picking up his tray, heading over to the nearest trash to dump his mostly untouched food into the bin. It tasted like shit, anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed in the fresh air of the house as he walked back into it, spinning around just to take it all in. He had just taken out of the last trash bags filled with shit they didn’t need. He danced across the floor, taking in every step he took which wasn’t crowded by useless clutter. He actually thought seeing the floor felt like something he had never done before, which was saying a lot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sanghyuk!” Chanhee called out, peeking out from the hallway to their room. “Where the hell are your masks? I can’t find them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk tapped the top of a cardboard packing box as he walked by, raising his eyebrows at Chanhee. “My fabric ones or my Dawon ones?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dawon ones,” Chanhee specified, coming out of the hallway with a shrug. “I can’t find </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I took the last one to go meet Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk confessed with a nervous laugh. “And he crushed that one under his boot so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit… well…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t like I was planning on keeping any of them anyways,” Sanghyuk told him with a shrug, placing his hand on another stack of boxes. “What else did you save from that? We could clear a lot of room up if we dumped some of that shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? Well… I couldn’t find your belt either, so that’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Blown to bits,” Sanghyuk filled in for him, leaving Chanhee forming his lips into the letter ‘O’ as he nodded, clearly putting an end to that part of the conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay well I took what was left of the smoke bombs and put them in a box. I disabled the real bombs and threw the parts out because I figured there’s no use for those, and I took anything else that I stuffed in the closet and stuffed it all into one bin instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about the spray paint?” Sanghyuk asked, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing an apple from the fridge. He wasn’t actually sure if apples were supposed to go in the fridge, but that was where Chanhee had put them and Sanghyuk hadn’t objected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What spray paint?” Chanhee questioned with furrowed brows as Sanghyuk bit into his apple. “You mean the shit we used up a while ago on that big banner for Jaeyoon’s charity event?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh was that all of it?” Sanghyuk questioned quietly, biting into his apple again. “Okay, then the camera equipment? I didn’t see that while I was packing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I organized it all while you were packing our clothes,” Chanhee told him, walking over to him and plucking the apple from his hands. Sanghyuk gaped at him while he took a big bite from it, just as easily returning it to his hands. “I somehow managed to fit it all into one small box, which I didn’t know was possible because we never bother to fold up the tripod.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That tripod can fold up?” Sanghyuk asked, inspecting his apple before taking another unbothered bite from it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yesterday, he and Chanhee had come home from the hospital and done a shit ton of research. They figured with the money they already had, which was a lot they didn’t even know about because they had unnecessarily stolen so much, and their 23 million won deposit they would get back, they would be able to get a nice apartment down in Gwangju. Gwangju was still a city, just not nearly as big and condensed as Seoul. It was way far south and the two of them figured it would be a good place to switch to. If, after getting there, they decided it was too close to Seoul, or the city was too overbearing, they also noted a nice place down in Ulsan that looked nice too, but moving completely out of a major city was a big move to make, and neither of them were really sure what they would be comfortable with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were a lot of things they had to take care of before leaving, too, but surprisingly it didn’t overwhelm Sanghyuk at all. The thought of leaving everything and getting away made him feel relieved in a way he had really never felt before. It wasn’t like he wasn’t still mourning and upset, because he was, but the idea of moving was a huge distraction, and that was exactly what he needed right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Packing was the first part, though. Sanghyuk had reasoned that if they packed first, backing out would seem less like an option. If they packed then they were already doing it, and nobody could talk them out of just a bad idea. They were already halfway through it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last thing they would have to do was get their deposit back and plan the actual move, but it was the first thing they had planned out when going over everything. They hadn’t decided on what exactly was going to be the first thing they had to do, but it definitely involved telling Youngkyun. Though Sanghyuk had been apprehensive about it because of his own fears, Chanhee had suggested they not only tell Youngkyun, but invite him to come. Chanhee had made a solid argument, too. Youngkyun was their family no matter what, and running a company so closely related to Taeyang now was going to hurt a lot. If Youngkyun felt already like he couldn’t or didn’t want to do it, staying with them was an option for him. And if, later down the road, Youngkyun decided he couldn’t, he was welcome to come down then, too. The boy hadn’t answered any of their calls recently, but that was understandable. Chanhee just hoped the boy would hear them out, and Sanghyuk hoped in the back of his mind that Youngkyun would still even consider it an option even though he was responsible for what happened to Taeyang. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuk, I’m tired,” Chanhee announced, plopping himself down on the couch in the middle of the living room, facing the TV. “Can we watch Spongebob?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you kidding me?” Sanghyuk gaped at him, looking between him and the TV. “Spongebob?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m serious. Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a master hacker with the ability to read medical files on the world’s most secretive people… and you want to watch spongebob.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I don’t know where you put the remote. Hurry up,” Chanhee demanded, waving his wrist as he waited for Sanghyuk to fetch it for him. Sanghyuk gaped at him before blinking, nodding to himself and grabbing the remote from on top of one of the boxes and tossing it to Chanhee. “Hey, you know what else we have to do before we leave?” Chanhee asked, clicking on the TV and turning the channel to Spongebob. Sanghyuk made a noise as he came to sit beside him, settling into the couch. “Clean up the giant fucking mess you painted on the wall.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Sanghyuk defended quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> would that ever be necessary?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was trying to make a point!” Sanghyuk defended quickly, gesturing for Chanhee to pay attention to the screen. Sanghyuk laughed as he quickly reverted his attention, giggling to himself as Squidward appeared on the screen. Chanhee had, on more than one occasion, called Squidward his soulmate, and honestly Sanghyuk had no response to the statement then and he still had no response to it now. Sanghyuk huffed at him, turning to face the screen with a gentle smirk on his lips before it dropped as the TV turned to a static screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great you broke the TV,” Chanhee mumbled playfully at him, leading to Sanghyuk punching his shoulder gently, trying not to hurt his own wrists in the process. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was working just a second ago!” Sanghyuk pointed out, gesturing to it. “It’s probably just the signal or-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Picture returned to the TV, but it wasn’t the bright green grass and blue skies of Bikini Bottom anymore. On the screen, dressed in a black coat with a white turtle neck that puffed up his chest, hair styled back neatly with a devilish grin in his eyes, was Lee Jaeyoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt his whole body tense up as he watched the man smile at the screen. He couldn’t say a word, and neither could Chanhee. They both sat on the couch, completely frozen, waiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hello</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jaeyoon greeted, drawing it out with a smile on his face. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Does everyone watching know who I am?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He hacked into the broadcasting network,” Chanhee mumbled, staring wide eyed at the screen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” Sanghyuk mumbled, watching as Jaeyoon tilted his head, smiling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means he’s broadcasting to… all of Seoul probably. Maybe even outside of Seoul depending on how far he reached with it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> it?!” Sanghyuk asked quickly, turning to face him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop it?! If I stop him now he’ll just do it again later!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m broadcasting now to give my thanks to everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jaeyoon spoke, still holding up his gummy smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, watching the screen. “God I fucking hate him. The way he gloats… I think I’m gonna puke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He gloats like a villain who’s about to reveal his plans to the hero,” Chanhee spat in agreement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks to all of you, I was able to become a figure of hope for a lot of you. I’m the protector, right? I’m everyone’s hero</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jaeyoon continued, relishing in the sound of his own voice. Then Jaeyoon’s smile dropped, his eyes unmoving from the camera. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>How idiotic all of you can be astounds me, though.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked, watching the screen as every idea in his brain seemed to light up, shouting scraps of ideas at him. He turned to face Chanhee so quickly his neck ached. “Can you trace it? The broadcast?” he asked, watching as Chanhee’s face contorted in realization.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong,” Chanhee mumbled, jumping up from the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inseong,” Sanghyuk confirmed, jumping up with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The way you idolize someone you know nothing about amazed me when I was a kid, and still amazes me now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jaeyoon continued while Chanhee sprinted to grab his computer. Sliding onto the ground with it in his lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did you put the camera shit?!” Sanghyuk called, grabbing the first box he could see and ripping it open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you need the camera shit?!” Chanhee yelled, back, unlocking his computer as quickly as he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You gave someone you knew nothing about so much power without even realizing it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because,” Sanghyuk told him, losing his breath as he said it. “I’m going to improvise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right behind you,” Chanhee told him quickly, shaking his head. “Are you</span>
  <em>
    <span> sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> about this?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I have more money than three quarters of the city, and you all gave it to me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Sanghyuk confessed, grabbing the box and tugging it over to the blank wall in front of the massive black spray painted symbol. He pushed the TV a bit more out of the way, pulling the flaps of the box open. “That’s why it’s called improv.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I had more political influence than half of the dumb politicians I took care of last week</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanna hurry up and trace this thing?” Sanghyuk called to him, pulling the tripod out of the box and working out the latches as quickly as he could, straightening the legs and propping it up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up and do what you’re doing,” Chanhee mumbled at him, typing at his keyboard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You blamed Dawon for that, too, right? That just shows how gullible you all are.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk brought the camera out, propping it up on the stand and attaching the lens to it as quickly as he could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I had you all believing Dawon was a horrible criminal, and you believed it because I said so!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Got it,” Chanhee snapped, clicking at his keyboard again. “He’s in Seoul. Seongbuk-Dong. But I guarantee you he won’t be there for long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least we know what area he’s in now. Help me set this up,” Sanghyuk told him, abandoning the camera to focus on his face. He ripped the bandages away from his cuts one by one, discarding them in the trash and ignoring how much blood each one of them was stained with. He peeled them away from his cheeks, his neck, and his arms. And lastly, he started unwrapping the bandages around his wrists. He wanted people to see how much Jaeyoon had done to him already. He wanted to show them he wasn’t playing a game anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon didn’t do any of that! He didn’t blow up the bridge or try to kill Youngkyun and Taeyang. I did. And you all let me get away with it because you didn’t think I was capable of something so cruel.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, what the fuck does this improv include, exactly?” Chanhee asked with a nervous tone to his voice as he adjusted the position of the camera. He moved back to his computer, typing more things into it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You never even imagined it could be me because you were too busy idolizing someone you didn’t know</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, I’m going to make a bad decision right now, and I need you to just go along with it,” Sanghyuk began, shedding the rest of the bandages and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, downing as much of it as he could. “I want you to broadcast me to the same network Jaeyoon is on right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have a mask!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Because of the power you gave me, I was able to do so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Sanghyuk replied quickly, positioning himself in front of the camera and shaking out his arms. “I know,” he repeated, nodding. “But I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You give this type of immunity to the people you idolize, and you don’t even realize it.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurry</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee nodded, leaning down to his computer to type into whatever he was doing. He focused on the screen but Sanghyuk didn’t watch, rather he shook out his nerves, preparing himself. Improv. He had no plan going into this, only a fragment of an idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You all blamed Dawon, sending him death threats and cursing his name, but in reality he’s the only reason dozens of people lived last week.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can block out his signal and replace you in it,” Chanhee assured him. “But if he kicks me back off of it I can’t guarantee I can keep you there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you take it back if he kicks you off?” Sanghyuk asked, wide-eyed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So not only are you the ones who gave me the power to kill hundreds</span>
  </em>
  <span>...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee put me on</span>
  <em>
    <span> now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk yelled, looking anxiously towards the camera. Chanhee grabbed the cord connected to the camera, plugging it into his computer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re the reason Dawon is dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “And you’re on,” Chanhee told him quietly, pressing the enter button on his keyboard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help it as he turned to his side to see his own TV screen as Chanhee muted it, watching himself on the screen instead of Jaeyoon. He smirked, turning towards the camera just like he had always done. “Looking for me?” he asked sadistically, his teeth showing through his lips in his smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He twitched his head to the side, creating a vibe for himself. “I have to admit Jaeyoon, you are a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> piece of shit. You’re blaming thousands of people for the things you did. I mean, I’m not shocked. It sounds exactly like something you would do, I’m just disgusted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, looking dead center towards the camera. The red light blinked at him, and though every nerve in his body wanted to clog his throat up and prevent him from speaking, it was like he just pushed it down and outright refused. “Everybody,” he began another smile catching onto his lips. “My name is Dawon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He readjusted his stance, still looking towards the camera. “Jaeyoon, don’t blame everyone else when you were the one who caused everything. I know you think you’re doing justice by showing the people life from your point of view, but your point of view is shitty as hell, and nobody wants it. Over a hundred people died so you could express your point of view, so at this point it’s more like mass murder. Congratulations. You definitely won’t be forgotten in history, now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee signaled him a teetering hand before pointing down at his computer. He couldn’t promise a held signal was what he said earlier. Sanghyuk had to speed it up or he might be cut off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat, readjusting his eyes to the camera. “This message isn’t for the people; Jaeyoon, this message is for you. Go fuck yourself.” Chanhee gave him a thumbs up as he spoke, but Sanghyuk barely let his eyes fall to it. “You have caused enough damage and I’m tired of being a part of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re off!” Chanhee screamed, typing as quickly as he could on his computer as Sanghyuk grabbed the TV remote, unmuting the screen. Jaeyoon smiled as he returned to the frame, smiling proudly to himself. “He put up a firewall!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>destroy</span>
  </em>
  <span> it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawon, hey. Who knew you could be this much of a fucking parasite, huh?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jaeyoon taunted with a smile. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You said I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>blaming</span>
  <em>
    <span> these people? Sanghyuk, get it through your head that I couldn’t have done a single thing I did if I didn’t have these people supporting me.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee how much longer?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I did everything because you played into my stupid game and everyone else bought into it!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jaeyoon screamed, but Sanghyuk could feel his face flushing with anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get ready,” Chanhee warned him. Sanghyuk muted the TV again, stepping in front of the camera, and lifting his eyes to it. “GO!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did a lot of fucking things, Jaeyoon, and not one of them was because you had ‘support,'" he began instantly. "You did everything you did because you’re a horrible human being. You have no morals, no respect, and no understanding of the world. You’re self centered, egotistical, and psychotic. Not one thing you did falls on the shoulders of the people who looked up to you because you pretended to be someone you’re not. All of that shit? That falls on </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee looked up to him quickly, mouthing ‘Inseong’ as clearly as he could. Sanghyuk rolled his shoulders back easily. “Oh, and I don’t want to say you have something that belongs to me, because you don’t,” Sanghyuk began calmly. “But I want him back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m losing it,” Chanhee mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold it,” Sanghyuk mumbled back, not caring if he was still on camera. He readjusted his gaze. “I’m done playing along with your fucking game, Jaeyoon. This time, you’re going to play </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> game. So you can sit wherever you are, and you can wait. Because I will find you. Believe me, I will find you,” Sanghyuk threatened, his voice menacingly serious as he made a cutting motion with his hand under the camera, holding up a single finger. “And when I do you’re going to have to start running.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Pyrrhic Victory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So you don’t… you don’t actually have a plan… do you?” Chanhee asked slowly, his fingers still hovering over the button on the camera since he had turned it off just seconds ago. Sanghyuk breathed in a small amount of air, exhaling as he nodded to confirm it. “You just told the whole world who you were… and you challenged Jaeyoon. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>challenged</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeyoon, but you don’t have a plan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have parts of a plan,” Sanghyuk confessed with a nervous shrug, his eyes darting to Chanhee’s phone as the ringer went off. They both seemed to just stare at it, unmoving. Everyone knew who he was now. Everyone. With slow steps, Sanghyuk moved toward the phone, slipping his fingers underneath it and letting it fall into his palm. Youngbin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He answered the call immediately, pulling his phone to his ear, but before he could even mutter a comment at the boy he was already speaking. “I want to help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Help?!” Sanghyuk asked, blinking widely at the floor in front of him as he gaped. “You… you want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where do you want to meet? Your house isn’t safe anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Sanghyuk muttered, sparing a worried glance up at Chanhee, who couldn’t hear what Youngbin said on the other end of the call. “Uhm… uhm-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think. First place that pops into your head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The bar,” Sanghyuk mumbled, licking his lips. “Can you get it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make sure it’s empty. Grab what you can and stuff it in your car and get your asses over here,” Youngbin told them before quickly hanging up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked up to Chanhee with a single breath. “We’re grabbing everything we can and going to Youngbin’s bar. Come on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were moving instantly, grabbing everything they thought they might need and carrying it all out to the car. They shoved boxes in the trunk and back seat until they couldn’t fit any more. Sanghyuk had grabbed his gadgets and any electronics while Chanhee had focused on clothes and personal items. As Chanhee pulled himself into the driver’s seat, starting the engine of the car, Sanghyuk spared one last glance at their apartment. He stared at it until he had burned the final image of it into his brain, capturing the moment without a camera. Somehow he just knew he would never be back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee drove them in a silence heavier than usual. Without even thinking, Sanghyuk had changed everything. He hadn’t put any thought into his actions and yet, only minutes later, both of them were forced to leave their home and figure out their final plans. It was going to be worth it, though. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be worth it in the end, or Sanghyuk really would have fucked everything up for good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared down at his lap, turning over his wrists to watch the way his scarred tissue moved. It was still jagged and swollen, leaving red rings around both of his wrists, some places deeper than others. Thankfully, Sanghyuk had turned the insides of his wrists inwards for the most part, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still cut to all hell, too. It would most likely scar for the rest of his life, and Sanghyuk would have to live with that constant reminder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee pulled the car to a sudden stop, dragging Sanghyuk’s attention out the window before realizing they were already there. Without pausing to wait, Sanghyuk threw his door open, gesturing with his chin for Chanhee to follow him inside. The parking lot was completely empty, thank god, and the lights in the bar were all turned off. He pushed the unlocked doors open with ease, breathing in the scent of the musty bar he had been to one too many times to count. Chanhee closed the doors behind him while Sanghyuk moved over to the counter, reaching underneath it and flicking the lights on. The bar room lit up instantly, showering the boys in light as they looked around, expecting a familiar face to be there to greet them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is-” Chanhee began, but he was cut off by the sound of the door opening behind them, Youngbin strutting in with a proud smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” he greeted enthusiastically, pulling open the other door to reveal two other familiar faces behind him. “I brought even more help!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I would-” one of them stuttered, licking his lips nervously. If Sanghyuk remembered correctly, his name was Juho, and Seokwoo was the one calmly looking him over from the shorter boy’s side. They were Xang’s lawyers… right? “I would just like to state that I was brought here against my will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee broke out into a smile, pointing across the room at Youngbin. “You learned that from us!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Youngbin announced proudly, smiling back as he shut the doors closed behind everyone, locking them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho shook his head, refusing to move more forward than he had to. “I’m terrified! You’re- I mean, uhm… Dawon… sir? Hi-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, you’ve met me before,” Sanghyuk found himself saying peculiarly calmly, actually snorting at the sight. “And I’d much prefer if you just called me Sanghyuk, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo laughed, nudging Juho in the shoulder and making the boy jump. “Look at that,” he mused under his breath with a lopsided smirk. “You’re on a first name basis with Dawon.” Juho paled behind him as Seokwoo walked forward, bowing courteously towards the two brothers. “It’s nice to meet the guys behind the mask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No offense,” Sanghyuk began, turning to Youngbin. “But why did you bring them? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but how are they involved in any of this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin snorted, walking up to Seokwoo’s side. “Seokwoo has been profiling Jaeyoon behind his back for months now. He already knew you were Dawon.” Sanghyuk blinked, gaping up at him while Seokwoo’s cheeks tinted pink, his hand rubbing nervously at his neck. “He talks a bit too much when he’s drunk,” Youngbin added, slapping Seokwoo on the shoulder before gesturing over his own with his thumb back at Juho. “And Kyun was working with him to figure out who Anonymous was without telling any of you. So they’re actually both involved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, impressed. He turned to Seokwoo, bowing back to him. “Thanks for keeping my secret,” he thanked quietly, looking past him to Juho before bowing his head. “And thanks for coming. But you don’t have to stay, really.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho looked between Sanghyuk and Youngbin before meeting Seokwoo’s eyes as the boy turned around to look at him. All eyes were on him and he seemed to visibly shrink under all the stares. He turned his head to the ground. “I mean… I didn’t say I’d leave,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, turning to his side to see Chanhee smiling back at him. “What’s the plan, Dawon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His smile only grew as he gathered everybody around one of the larger bar tables with a notebook of empty pages in front of him and a pen sticking between his fingers. He stood behind the edge of the table while Chanhee stood directly to his left. Youngbin sat to his right in a wooden chair while Juho and Seokwoo sat in front of him in a booth seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to admit this right off the bat, I don’t have a plan,” Sanghyuk told them, his voice never more serious and business like in all of the years he had been Dawon. “I just know kind of how I want things to play out. Whatever we have to do to make it happen, we’ll do.” Everyone around him nodded, showing their complete attention towards him. “So… we have to start with the location. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk brought the pen down on the paper, drawing a small square near the top of the paper to the right side. “This is where Jaeyoon was when he made the broadcast. I can guarantee you all we were not the only people that traced the signal, so staying there isn’t an option for him. He had to have moved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said you were going to make Jaeyoon play your game,” Seokwoo spoke up easily, looking down at the paper. “But if you go to him, doesn’t that kind of have the opposite effect?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only if he’s in control,” Sanghyuk pointed out, gesturing back to the paper. “It doesn’t matter where we fight, as long as I get control of the situation first. The thing about Jaeyoon is… he expects to always win. He doesn’t expect things to change and he doesn’t expect me to get any smarter, but the countless times he’s kicked my ass have taught me something at least.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk rolled his shoulders back. “I challenged Jaeyoon, and he accepted it right? He wants to shut me down in front of the whole city to boost his ego and his point, so he won’t be trying to hide. But I don’t think he’ll send me an invitation card, either. So we need to figure out where he’ll be. Most likely, it’s someplace anyone, or specifically I, could guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You made it personal by bringing Inseong into it,” Youngbin pointed out, looking up to him with his arms crossed over his chest. “So where would Jaeyoon go to make it personal for you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked down at the paper, sliding it towards him a bit more as he leaned down, drawing a small X not far from the square on the paper before dropping his pen and sliding the notebook to the middle of the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know exactly where he’ll go,” Sanghyuk realized as everyone leaned forward to examine the notebook. “He’s gonna go to Xang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seokwoo let out a sigh as he examined the paper. He nodded, looking up to meet Sanghyuk’s eyes before looking at everyone else. “It’s not far from where he was, right? And it’s more personal than anywhere else. My best bets are on Xang, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to fight him in Xang, though,” Juho piped up, shrinking down as everyone turned to him again. He cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean… Jaeyoon has been there a lot. I don’t know how much you’ve been there, but Jaeyoon probably knows the layout of the building way better than you. It would put you at a disadvantage.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good point,” Chanhee mused, turning to face Sanghyuk. “So if he’s in Xang… how are you getting him out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smirked, the idea already completely developed in his head by the time he looked up to meet everyone else’s eyes. This battle was all about getting in each other’s faces, close and personal right? If Jaeyoon wanted to play personal, Sanghyuk would play it right back at him. “Sevoflurane.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is that?” Youngbin asked, furrowing his brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s an anesthetic gas,” Sanghyuk explained, moving his wrists forward for everyone around the table to see. “When Jaeyoon had me tied up under that old school, he tried to knock me out with sevoflurane. He wanted me to just barely still be awake when the building blew up. He filled the whole room with it by filling the pipes with it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t fill all the pipes in Xang up with anesthetic gas,” Seokwoo pointed out, leaning back in the booth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a laugh, looking around his group. “I think… smoke bombs are more my style.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sevoflurane smoke bombs,” Chanhee mused, nodding his head at the idea. “What do you need?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sevoflurane, mostly,” Sanghyuk told him, sliding the pad of paper towards himself and ripping the top page off before handing it and the pen to Chanhee. He began writing it all down. “The inhalant form, not liquid. See how many pharmacies you can get it from without getting on the news. And… white chalk powder to match my aesthetic, obviously. I need the shell casings and the pin to light them off. How many do you think you can put together?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Depends on how much sevoflurane I can get,” Chanhee admitted with a nod. He turned to Youngbin. “Sanghyuk can’t go out in public, so can you help me with the sevoflurane?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve always wanted to rob a pharmacy,” Youngbin agreed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why the aesthetic, though? Why does that matter?” Seokwoo asked, leaning forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because,” Sanghyuk explained, shrugging. “To be honest, I don’t want people to start calling me anything along the lines of a hero after this. I never have been and never will be anything close to a hero. I’m Dawon, and I want everyone to remember that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin nodded. “So what after that, then? You chase Jaeyoon out by lighting off gas bombs on every floor, assuming you have a gas mask on. He runs out, then what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk huffed with a smile on his face. “This is where it gets interesting, because he could go anywhere. If he’s running, he had potential to control the fight. Whoever leads wins, it’s how it’s always been. I need to stay in the lead while still having no idea where he might go next.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Traps,” Seokwoo mumbled, bringing his eyes up to Sanghyuk’s. “Memorize the aerial map of the area and have traps ready in every alley. You find which alley he goes down and tell us which ones to set off. That way you can lead him wherever you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Chanhee agreed with a nod. “If you can block off his chances of escaping, you can lead him wherever you want. Jaeyoon doesn’t have the ability to go outside now and set traps. His face is everywhere, just like yours is. But unlike him, you have people that can set the traps for you. You’re going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> that area.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you need for traps?” Juho asked, slowly leaning forward. “I’ll help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, looking down at the pad of paper. He thought for a second. “Fishing line, lots of tape, mouse traps, those battery powered remote controlled kid’s cars, flares, some go pros if you can steal as many of those as you can cars, wire, barbed wire, fireworks, an absolute shit ton of nails, a few cans of black paint, a baseball bat for my personal amusement, and a fuck ton of spray paint.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Easy,” Chanhee stated without hesitation, leaving Juho staring between the two of them with wide eyes. “Youngbin, you and I need to get sevoflurane first. After that, we’ll get the flares and cameras. I need a few more pieces to make ear pieces for everyone, so we’ll pick those up too since I know what I need. Juho, Seokwoo, can you guys manage a bit of stealing?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Juho admitted quickly, but Seokwoo was already nodding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Chanhee said with a smile, ignoring Juho. “Go to a hardware store first. Masks and gloves. I have a bit of chloroform in the car you can use to knock some people out. You need nails, paint, fishing line, wire, barbed wire, spray paint of all colors, tape, and mouse traps. Bring that back here before you do the next part. You need kid’s remote controlled cars which can be found at any cheap toy store, but get the good ones. Get a decent metal baseball bat there, too. After that, go get a shit ton of fireworks. I’m assuming Sanghyuk wants lower to the ground ones. Grab a lighter while you’re there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is a lot,” Juho mumbled, already feeling out of breath as he glanced down to the table. “And this is just… this is just normal for you guys?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s normal for me at this point,” Youngbin confessed, leaning back in his seat. He looked to Sanghyuk, looking over every inch of him before meeting his eyes again. “You said you wanted to have an aesthetic.” Sanghyuk nodded to confirm he was right. “Outfit ideas?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh I have many,” Chanhee chimed in, taking a step back from him. “This is also my job. Sanghyuk? May I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make me look badass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee smirked at him, sighing as he looked over him completely. “Steel toed boots,” he started, already lost in his own thoughts. “Black exterior and black laces. Spandex under loose fitting leather pants. We need them to be movable but warm and stylish. Black long sleeved shirt under a black leather jacket. Padding in the shoulders. Regular belt with my own attachments and a sling belt over your chest to hold the sevoflurane bombs. Hair styled back away from your face because you don’t need a mask this time. And Sanghyuk? I want to paint black X’s over your eyes. I want to keep the white streak in your hair, too. We’ll give you leather gloves, but under your gloves I want your hands wrapped so you absorb the shock better. I want your wrists protectively wrapped, too, no arguments. Oh my god this is going to be so fun!” he cheered, turning to Youngbin. “Help me rob like six clothing stores?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hell yeah,” Youngbin agreed with a smirk, picturing the image as his eyes rolled over Sanghyuk’s frame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk couldn’t help the smirk that came to his face as he looked everyone over. “Okay…” he mused, nodding around his group. “Okay let’s do it. We have… all day. I want to do it late so we only have just under twelve hours to put this all together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s go quickly,” Chanhee stated without hesitation, grabbing Youngbin’s sleeve to pull him up. “Come on guys! We’re on crunch time!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk closed his eyes, sighing into the brush Chanhee swiped over his face. He hadn’t stopped running around since they had left to gather supplies, and to be honest Sanghyuk was beginning to think he should be panicking. For some reason, though, he wasn’t as anxious as his plans usually made him feel. Right now, he was calm. He felt… ready. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For hours now, everyone had been running around getting things ready, so maybe there was just no room for distraction. Sanghyuk had made a map of the entire area surrounding Xang, making a note of every single alley. While everyone else was out shoplifting, Sanghyuk figured out where he wanted each kind of trap. He couldn’t go out and set them on his own, but he could explain to everyone else where he wanted them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he had drawn the map of the area, labeling every single alley and every street. He even found an end point: where he wanted Jaeyoon to go. Sanghyuk’s whole idea here was to corral him where he wanted him, so he had to have a place to want him. Planning all of it out was incredibly difficult, but Sanghyuk used his brain for once and made do, figuring out backup plans for if Jaeyoon ran somewhere he didn’t want him to go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had explained what each one of the traps would be to the group, sending Youngbin, Seokwoo, and Juho out to set them all up. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk built the sevoflurane bombs, almost blowing one up in his face and knocking himself out in the process. Chanhee, across the room to avoid being anywhere close to the gas fumes, worked on ear pieces. He designed them himself, just like he had with the ones he and Sanghyuk always used. He connected them to his own signal or something—Sanghyuk didn’t actually know how much of that tech stuff Chanhee did was done. He made five earpieces in all, the exact number they were going to need to pull this all off. This was, by far, the biggest plan they had ever come up with, and somehow it hadn’t even been 24 hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the three boys came back, it seemed to dawn on Sanghyuk how close it was getting. The sun had already set, leaving the sky a dark color. Three more hours. Three hours felt like a long time when he was so anxiously waiting for something to happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Around eight o’clock, Sanghyuk was forced into foils with chemicals in his hair, and at nine o’clock he lifted his head from the sink with a permanent bleached streak in the front of his hair. The idea had been Youngbin’s, but Chanhee had latched onto it like a leach. Because why paint his hair and hope the color didn’t fade out while he was fighting when they could just bleach a streak of his hair? Sanghyuk liked the idea. There was no other way to look more serious than to bleach his hair for the aesthetic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee and Seokwoo went to work styling his hair immediately while Juho figured out the wraps on his hands. Sanghyuk had sat back in the chair with a completely straight back while the two boys styled his hair up, adding product to hold it away from his face, while Juho gently wrapped tape around his arm, asking him about every few seconds if it felt too tight or loose. Sanghyuk had assured him it was fine, though, and the boy seemed to relax. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So now Sanghyuk was sitting, eyes closed, leaning forward as Chanhee focused intently on his makeup. It was only a few minutes to ten, now, and at ten o’clock Chanhee would have to leave. The nerves were really building in Sanghyuk’s chest now, but he reminded himself that no matter what, he wouldn’t show it. It was the gettup, and the way everyone paced around the room. They were so close. Almost ready. They were so close now that there was nothing left to do to prepare. They could only wait. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee… I need you to do something for me,” Sanghyuk whispered, trying not to move a single muscle in his face, while the other three boys were in other rooms getting dressed themselves. They all had black gettups, complete with combat boots, gloves, baseball caps, and masks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do that typical pre-battle movie bullshit or I swear to god-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that,” Sanghyuk mumbled with a chuckle, feeling the coolness of the body paint being applied around his left eye. He sobered up, again, trying not to move. “But seriously… I do need you to do something for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Chanhee asked quietly, brushing more of the body paint on in a smooth line, touching up the edges and holding Sanghyuk’s chin carefully to angle him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know Jaeyoon is going to try and use Inseong against me, right?” Sanghyuk asked, feeling the way Chanhee’s fingers shifted gently under his chin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Chanhee admitted quietly, his voice dropping a bit at the end. “But…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have two goals for this plan,” Sanghyuk mumbled, exhaling as Chanhee applied more body paint, this time stroking it in the other direction. “The first goal is to get Jaeyoon caught. I want him in the hands of people who will know what to do with him. The second…” Sanghyuk paused, breathing out again before sucking in more breath. “Making sure Inseong is okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise me you will do whatever it takes to make sure he gets out safely,” Sanghyuk begged with a small crack in his voice. Chanhee’s hand paused under his chin, the brush not touching back down on his face. “Chanhee… I can’t do this if I don’t think Inseong is gonna be okay. I’m serious. I need… I need you to go get him. I don’t trust anyone but you to do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And where exactly am I supposed to get him from?” Chanhee asked smoothly, shifting his chin to apply body paint to the other eye. “I’m not saying I won’t. I know how important he is to you, but I’m asking what your plan is. I’ll be at the electrical center of Seoul, not anywhere close to Xang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m asking if you can get there fast enough,” Sanghyuk mumbled. “I think Jaeyoon will have Inseong there at Xang with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what are you going to do? How do you get Jaeyoon away from him?” Chanhee challenged, brushing on the paint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sighed. “What else? I’m not changing my plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’ll drop the sevoflurane in the room even if he’s there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It won’t hurt him,” Sanghyuk assured his brother. “It’ll just knock him out, and honestly I feel safer knowing he’ll stay right where he is. But… please. Don’t take a cab, not that traffic will be running smoothly anyways. Can you get there quickly on a bike?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get there, don’t worry,” Chanhee told him quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You just focus on Jaeyoon. I’ll do the rest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re incredible,” Sanghyuk mused at him, causing the boy to laugh before pulling away from his face completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn… I am so good,” he exhaled with a proud rise to his voice</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please tell me I still look like a human.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk you look…” Chanhee began, trailing off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh damn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk opened his eyes, looking up with a smile to the three boys who approached with wide eyes, unable to stop looking over him. He pushed himself up from the chair, standing still as Chanhee grabbed his earpiece from the table to his side. Sanghyuk let him stick the earpiece in his ear, pinning the small microphone to the neckline of his shirt. His was the only one small enough to be almost undetectable in the dark while everybody else’s would wrap around their ears to keep them on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I look…? I don’t know,” Sanghyuk confessed with a nervous laugh, looking skeptically to Chanhee as he pulled his hands away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look like… Dawon,” Youngbin mused, nodding his head at his choice of words. “But a new Dawon. Better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree,” Seokwoo chipped in with a nod. “Granted, I don’t know much about you from outside of your alter ego. But this is better,” he confessed. “It’s more… human. But more terrifying at the same time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sucked in a breath, taking a few steps until he was standing in front of a mirror. He was clad completely in black, his leather jacket hanging off his shoulders with a certain bad boy aesthetic to it. His hands were gloved, but underneath them he could feel the wraps around his wrists and looped around his fingers. His feet felt heavy, but he felt stronger at the same time. His face though… was incredible. His skin was flawless with just a slight touch up of toner, foundation, and concealer. Chanhee had done some slight contouring on his jawline to give it a sharper edge, but it didn’t look even slightly unnatural for him. It was all blended perfectly into his neck and his hairline. God, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>hairline</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His hair was gelled and sprayed up, a permanent streak in the front, standing out like a statement. But the rest of the work Chanhee did was by far the best. With black body paint, Chanhee had painted X’s across both of his eyes, just big enough to reach his eyebrows. It was the pattern from his mask, but it was painted </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somehow, like this, he was wearing the mask, but he was more vulnerable than ever. He was Dawon, but at the same time he was Sanghyuk. Like this, he wasn’t hiding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He squared his shoulders in the mirror, marveling at the way his appearance screamed the message he was trying to send out to everyone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to go,” Chanhee mumbled from behind him. Sanghyuk spun around to see a smile on his face as he looked him over. “Sanghyuk… trust me. You look stronger now than you ever have been before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me,” Sanghyuk told him, not needing to mention the specific promise for his brother to understand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee smirked, nodding his head. “I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded back at him as Chanhee turned around, grabbing his computer in his arms and all his other equipment before heading out the door without a single glance back. Sanghyuk exhaled as he watched him walk out the doors, breathing in the full effect of the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was going after Jaeyoon, and for the first time ever, he was ready. No backing out. No second guessing. He was ready. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin. Are you in position?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seokwoo, are you in position?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m- I’m here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Juho, are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Present!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smirked, rolling his eyes as he pressed his back to the wall of the building he was currently hiding behind. The streets in front of Xang were absolutely crowded, and there was no way he was going to be able to get there without a distraction. Sanghyuk smirked even more to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee, are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ask me if I’m fucking ready, of course I’m ready! I’m like the ultimate master of breaking and entering places nobody should ever be able to-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We get it,” Youngbin hurled at him, causing Juho and Seokwoo to laugh through the microphones. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watch it or I’ll leak your nudes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk huffed in a laugh at the silence that followed, shaking his head. “Chanhee? Hello? Stick to the plan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got ready in advance!” Chanhee defended loudly. “I’m in, I’m connected, and I’m ready whenever you’re mentally stable enough to head in!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can someone tell Chanhee to not go through my phone, please?” Youngbin mumbled quietly, causing an uproar of laughter. After all, wasn’t it hard not to laugh when a situation was so serious that it hurt to even think about?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngbin that’s nasty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m calling radio silence,” Chanhee spoke suddenly, his tone dropping from amused to serious with a single breath. “For those of you who are too uneducated in the field of illegal heists, that means stop talking unless you’re directly spoken to or have an update. We speak to Sanghyuk only unless absolutely necessary,” he continued to explain. “I’ll probably speak more than anyone else, though, because I’m the brains.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll only agree once, that’s all you get,” Sanghyuk quipped back at him with a roll of his eyes. He leaned slightly towards the opening to the street, peeking out and observing the situation. So many people, so little distractions. Huh, it would be a shame if Sanghyuk had already thought of this ahead of time. “Chanhee… are you ready?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you know it,” Chanhee replied with a devilish hint to his tone. “And lights are going out in ten… nine… eight- oh fuck it I’m too excited. One!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked up to the buildings surrounding him with a grin spreading across his lips, watching as the lights went out in every building in sight, one by one. Building by building and light by light, the entire district faded to complete blackness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Screams echoed from the streets as the only lights left were the headlights and brake lights of cars, which had all stopped moving instantly. With no lit up buildings to guide their ways and no natural street lights working anymore, they were left in a pitch blackness they had never experienced before. People pulled out their phone lights as they searched around for their friends and family, screaming to everyone around them for answers as to why the whole entire city was suddenly completely dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk inhaled the cold air around him, watching as a single snowflake fell from the sky in front of him. He lifted his gloved hand, holding his palm to the sky and gently catching the flake in his hand. And with a wicked grin on his lips, he folded his fingers into his palm, pushing himself away from the wall with an easy stride. His steps made no noise as he walked out into the streets which filled with panicked yells and screams of those who saw him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt a twinge of panic as he first made his way out into the streets, his boots slamming against the concrete sidewalk as his arms swung by his side. The belt of smoke bombs strung over his chest clanked as he walked, but the sound fell deaf upon his ears. The first people who saw him screamed out, falling back and tumbling into the streets to run away from him. A mother pulled her son away from him and a couple squashed themselves into the wall of a building to avoid him. And Sanghyuk felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>powerful</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd parted for him like the waves would part for higher beings and he made his way through the streets with frozen glances and stolen breaths. His steps felt filled with fear and power and he breathed it in like the chemical emotion kept him standing. A smirk crossed his lips even wider, and within seconds he wasn’t even glancing to his side anymore. He kept his chin up high, not able to drop the smile from his face even if he wanted to. He walked powerfully, his posture strong and his strides long, looking straight ahead and nowhere else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Xang came into sight, Sanghyuk finally shifted his focus up to take in the large building towering above him. People continued jumping out of his way, clearing the path for him like he owned it. Within seconds he was in front of the doors, wrapping his gloved hands around the doors and pulling them open. He stepped inside quietly, letting the doors close behind him with a decently emphasized thud. Every sound behind him became muffled, like background noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The building in front of him was pitch black. There were no city lights around him to keep it lit up and no computers with power to light up any corners. The only light he had was that of the nearly full moon in the sky overhead. It was enough, though. He let his eyes adjust to the darkness, blinking it all in while he stood completely still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in,” he mumbled into the microphone, taking his first steps forward and sighing as he looked toward the elevator. “And I guess I have to take the stairs… all the way to the top,” he mumbled, shaking his head as he looked away from the powerless box and opting instead for the door to the stairwell. Sanghyuk walked into the stairwell, standing in the middle between the square spiral of stairs before pulling his grappling gun off of his back. He didn’t hesitate to aim it upwards with a slight angle, shooting the claw out and waiting as it latched onto the railing of the stairs several stories above him. He grabbed the other end of the wire, latching it to his waist belt with a clip and instantly retracting it. His feet lifted from the ground instantly, his body shooting upwards with the pull of the retractable wire, and within a matter of seconds he was seven stories higher than he had been before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk grabbed onto the edge of the railing, pulling himself over and closing the claw on his grappling gun, slinging the small device back over his shoulder and hanging it around his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it just me, or did you seriously just use your grappling hook to get up stairs faster?” Chanhee asked quietly, filling the muted silence Sanghyuk was currently standing in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will neither confirm nor deny that,” Sanghyuk answered simply, beginning his long ascent up the rest of the stairs he could no longer cheat his way up. He wouldn’t be able to get the right angle from where he was now, so sadly, he would have to actually put in the effort to climb the rest the old fashioned way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His legs began to ache a bit, but he didn’t let it bother him as he ascended, pushing himself further and further up the stairs until he was at the rooftop, the palm of his gloved hand pressed against the back of the door that would lead him out to the roof. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He paused, closing his eyes as he felt the door in front of him. Taking one deep breath, he calmed every nerve in his body. This time he was going to face Jaeyoon as more than just a villain behind a mask. This time, he wasn’t playing a game. This was his life, and he was Lee Sanghyuk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed open the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stepping out into the cold left his cheeks pricked with the brutal air from the top of the building, a few flurries of snow falling to the ground around them, but nothing more than a few specks. Looking out from the rooftop now, there was no city below him. There was no sea of lights or thriving crowd oblivious to what was happening down in the streets. It was an ocean of black with a grid laid across it of headlights and brake lights, but that was it. The dark sky draped over the dark city, and even the stars were hidden by a few clouds. But that wasn’t really the sight Sanghyuk cared about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What Sanghyuk cared the most about was the boy standing at the opposite side of the rooftop, hands folded elegantly behind his back, standing tall, as if he had been waiting for Sanghyuk for hours now like this. Beside him, shackled to an actual chain, was Inseong. He was half lying on the ground, a rag stuffed in his mouth as he looked up to Sanghyuk with tear stained cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t spare his attention on the boy, training his eyes instead on Jaeyoon, who did the same right back at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was waiting, just like you said,” Jaeyoon spoke easily, shrugging his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet you didn’t run,” Sanghyuk pointed out, looking him over completely. “Are you deaf? Or are you an idiot?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you,” Jaeyoon lied with a pout, blinking at him with wide eyes. “It’s so much more fun playing with you than everybody else. For some reason, messing with you seems to be what really hits home for them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, how sweet,” Sanghyuk commented, moving slowly closer to the two of them, but also slightly to the side to leave the door down open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What took you so long?” Jaeyoon asked, holding his chin up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Can’t you see all the effort I put into my look?” Sanghyuk asked in mock offense, gesturing to his gettup. “Being this good looking takes time and I had plenty of it to waste.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon rolled his eyes, rolling his shoulders back. “Okay, I’m tired of this already,” he decided, pulling at the chains cuffed to Inseong’s bound hands. “Let’s go. Come save him.” Jaeyoon held the chain up, as if he was displaying it for Sanghyuk to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t even spare a glance down at Inseong, keeping his eyes locked on Jaeyoon’s. “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon stammered—actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>stammered</span>
  </em>
  <span>—at Sanghyuk’s response. His lips fell slightly open, his eyes blinking at him in slight surprise. Because of course, Jaeyoon never learned, and he assumed Sanghyuk never did either. Oh, what a surprise Sanghyuk had coming for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No? You’re not going to try and save him?” Jaeyoon asked, still holding up the chain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pursed his lips, slowly beginning to shake his head. “No, I don’t think I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh- why?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk huffed at him, smiling in an amused fashion to himself. He pulled off one of the sevoflurane bombs from the belt around his chest, holding it carefully in his hand, thumb sliding under the pin that would set it off. “You thought I would, didn’t you?” he asked, taunting the boy. “You think I’m predictable,” he observed, taking a few steps closer around them. He was circling them both, like a predator circled its prey. “But no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you're</span>
  </em>
  <span> predictable. Now that I think about it, I should have been less shocked. This whole thing you’ve done in the past few days doesn’t even strike out of the ballpark for you. You were predictable from the start, I was just never that good at educated guessing.” Sanghyuk walked his way closer to them, reaching to his hip and pulling off the small clear mask that hung there. He detached it, bringing it up carefully as Jaeyoon’s brain seemed to catch up to what was happening. Sanghyuk smiled. “I’m learning now, thanks to the fact that you never change.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within the span of a second, Sanghyuk had the gas mask secured to his face, his thumb pulling the pin out of the bomb. White smoke poured out of it instantly as Sanghyuk dropped it by Inseong’s side, watching as Jaeyoon dropped the chain in front of him and stumbled back away from him. “Sorry Inseong,” Sanghyuk finally acknowledged, turning his head to see the boy looking up at him with bloodshot and teary eyes. “It’s better if you’re out cold, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without saying another word, Sanghyuk stepped away from him, hooking the bands of the mask around his ears and making his way towards Jaeyoon. He still wasn’t leaving. That was okay. Sanghyuk had plans A-Z all ready to go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved towards him quickly, assessing the area. If he started fighting Jaeyoon now, he would start to lead the battle. Sanghyuk could not, under any circumstance, let that happen. He knew his weaknesses, now he needed to play to Jaeyoon’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk reached into the inner pocket of his jacket as Jaeyoon watched him, pulling out a simple piece of fabric between two of his fingers and a lighter between the other two. Jaeyoon watched him cautiously as Sanghyuk flipped the lighter open with one hand, holding the piece of fabric above it until it caught quickly into flames. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his foot over a pole on the ground by his side, kicking it into the air and catching it between his fingers. He placed the lit rag over one end of it, flipping the lighter back into his pocket calmly before holding the fire caught rag out of his reach, waving it around a bit in Jaeyoon’s direction with a psychotic look on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the matter Jaeyoon?” Sanghyuk taunted, waving it closer to him. “Don’t like things you can’t hit your way through?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon took a few steps back from him as he led him on with the fire, stumbling around and looking for a solution to the event he clearly hadn’t expected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, Jaeyoon, I’ve learned,” he continued to taunt. He wanted to push him to his limits, to make him do something </span>
  <em>
    <span>unpredictable</span>
  </em>
  <span>. In this case, Jaeyoon’s unpredictable was Sanghyuk’s goal. “Go on. Hit me. I bet I can hit you with this fire, first,” he prodded, pushing him backwards. “Go ahead. I’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> to see you try. So predictable, so… the </span>
  <em>
    <span>same</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s see how well your fire works when you play hide and seek,” Jaeyoon challenged, turning around on his heels and pulling the door to the stairwell open, sprinting down it quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled to himself, giving Jaeyoon a head start for his own personal amusement before dropping the pole to the ground, readjusting the mask on his face. “Inseong is on the roof of Xang. You’ll need a gas mask,” he spoke out loud, walking towards the door and pulling it open for himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much time until you can get Jaeyoon out?” Chanhee asked in return as Sanghyuk began making his way down the first few sets of stairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let you know when it’s done. Just be ready to rush in and grab him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk kicked open the door to the next landing below with a hard kick, letting himself onto the floor with a devilish smirk. “I know where you tried to hide,” he began taunting immediately, calmly pulling another bomb from his vest as he walked a small distance away from the stairwell. “But here’s the thing. None of those side rooms are unlocked. Do you know why? Because I called Youngkyun and told him to have every employee triple check the locks." It had actually been Chanhee who called, but Jaeyoon didn't need to know that. "So you aren’t going anywhere else that isn’t this one main room, and that’s so tragic.” He pulled the pin from the bomb, smoke pouring out from it. “Because I think I’m the only one here with a gas mask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bomb fell to the ground with a heavy bang, bouncing across the floor as Jaeyoon’s hurried steps traveled away from it. Sanghyuk smirked as the door to the stairwell swung in behind him, turning around on his heel and easily following the boy down the stairs. It continued like that for a while, Jaeyoon trying to find some place to catch his breath and Sanghyuk immediately dropping sevoflurane into the rooms to chase him out. Jaeyoon couldn’t stay if Sanghyuk dropped a smoke bomb, and that was the best part, because Sanghyuk could walk through it all day without a single problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He imagined he was close to the ninth floor now as Jaeyoon ran around, throwing another swing at him before Sanghyuk pulled the pin on another bomb, dropping it to the ground in front of him and smirking to himself as Jaeyoon backed away from it quickly, back towards the stairwell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a coward,” Jaeyoon sneered at him, covering his mouth with his hand. “You won’t even properly fight me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to,” Sanghyuk replied easily, rolling his shoulders back to stretch them. “How many more times do we need to do this before you exhaust yourself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Jaeyoon spat at him, his eyes filled with malice and anger. “I’m done playing your game. You’ve had your fun.” Jaeyoon turned on his heel, pushing the door to the stairwell open calmly and starting his way down again. Sanghyuk nodded to himself, counting to about ten seconds before reaching into the other pocket of his jacket, pulling out a small metal tool Seokwoo had had in his car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk mumbled to himself, adjusting the tool in his hand before placing the metal tip on it against the wall sized window in front of him. “You’re playing my game whether you want to or not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He brought his arm back, slamming the tool against the window and shattering it into a million pieces, shards of glass falling to the ground several stories below. Cool air and flakes of snow rushed in and surrounded him, but he barely gave them a hint of his attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaeyoon is on his way down,” he spoke into the mic. “Are you three ready?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Juho confessed nervously. “But… yes. Yes I’m ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember, this is the hardest part,” Sanghyuk reminded them, pulling his grappling hook gun off his back and pulling the hook out by hand. He pulled the hook around a pole in the middle of the room, tugging against it for good measure. “Make sure he gets where he’s supposed to go.” Quickly, he dropped his gas mask to the floor, shedding his sevoflurane bomb belt as well. He pulled the wire out, clipping it securely to his belt again before walking back over to the window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with one deep breath, he stepped onto the ledge of the window, leaning forward and letting himself fall. The wire caught him quickly, slowing his fall to a controlled descent as wind blew through his previously neatly made hair. He smiled as the wind passed him by before straightening out his posture, and just as Jaeyoon ran out the doors Sanghyuk’s legs collided with his shoulders, pushing them both onto the ground in a painful tumble. That… was honestly not part of the plan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon kicked his knee up into Sanghyuk’s gut before he could push himself to the side and on his feet. He moved his hands to his belt, quickly unfastening the clip and releasing himself from the wire, stumbling back as Jaeyoon swung at him again. He kicked his leg out, hitting Jaeyoon in the stomach as his hands grabbed around his ankle, twisting him around and sending him flying to the ground. With a swift roll, Sanghyuk turned his body and shot his knee up to block Jaeyoon’s kick. He reached up the second Jaeyoon paused in confusion, grabbing his wrist and pulling him over himself as hard as he could. Jaeyoon tumbled to the ground and Sanghyuk rolled over with a heave of breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk stop fighting him!” Chanhee called into the mic, but that was kind of a hard situation to get out of. Jaeyoon was supposed to follow him as Sanghyuk pretended to look for him before hiding in the alley. Jaeyoon would pass him, and Sanghyuk would follow him after that. But Sanghyuk had jumped a bit too late. Fuck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk threw his fist at Jaeyoon again, hitting him across the jaw as Jaeyoon grabbed his arm, rolling it over and pinning him to the ground mid flip. Jaeyoon placed his knee heavily on Sanghyuk’s chest, but he reacted quickly, reaching up and grabbing Jaeyoon’s ear as hard as he could, yanking him down and jerking himself upwards, flipping Jaeyoon over and spinning to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk, the plan?!” Chanhee called, and it was clear he was worried, but Sanghyuk couldn’t respond, not like this. Not while Jaeyoon was listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon kicked his legs up at him again, but Sanghyuk jumped back and dodged them, taking a step back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, uhm, Sanghyuk!” This time the voice was Juho’s. “You still need to get Jaeyoon into the alleys so-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Juho yelled at them as Sanghyuk dodged another one of Jaeyoon’s swings, dodging under his elbow and jumping away from his kick. “Let him think he’s winning, but don’t let it get too far. Then you can run from him and lead him into the alley just like you planned!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk jumped back from Jaeyoon again, focusing intently on both what Juho suggested and every calculated move Jaeyoon was making. If Jaeyoon thought he was winning… even after Sanghyuk had boasted so much… that could work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk exhaled, watching Jaeyoon move. Not too far. Only far enough. And with one swing, Sanghyuk dove forward, kicking his leg at Jaeyoon’s chest and feeling a returning blow to his legs, dropping him to the ground. He kicked his leg up at Jaeyoon’s head to back him away, using his heel to catch Jaeyoon’s foot and swiping it out from under him, tumbling him to the ground. He rolled over easily, just like Sanghyuk did. He had to stay away from gut kicks. Those </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> brought him down. He had to keep them off the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself to his feet, going in for another kick as Jaeyoon rose to his own feet, blocking the hit quickly only to retaliate seconds before Sanghyuk could stop it. He felt his jaw kick back from the blow, his leg kicking out to push Jaeyoon away in reaction. He leaned his head to the side as he heard Jaeyoon groan in pain, spitting out the blood pooling on his tongue before feeling a tight grip on the sleeve of his jacket, spinning him around and slamming him into the wall of Xang. Sanghyuk ducked out of his grip easily, grabbing his arm and trying to pin him down, but he let Jaeyoon grab his arm to get out of it, twisting it backwards and pushing him to the ground. Sanghyuk rolled over his head, easily standing up again and leveling his stance. He bit his lip as he forced himself to be a bit unsteady, stumbling back on purpose as he backed away from Jaeyoon. And oh boy he bit onto it like worm on a hook, advancing on him with a sinister grin as Sanghyuk dropped his stance. His hands fell lower to his side as he continued to push himself back until he had to turn around to keep his speed, and soon he was sprinting, Jaeyoon running quickly after him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk huffed with a breath of annoyance, skidding his heels against the pavement before ducking into the alley he knew Juho and Seokwoo were waiting by. He felt his hands touch the ground as he almost came off his feet entirely, kicking up the dirt covering the pavement as he ran further into the alley, Jaeyoon right on his tail. Fuck. He did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> have enough time to hide right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Close it up,” Sanghyuk hissed with his chin down, sprinting further down the alley until he came to his next choice of intersection. He dug his heels into the ground, forcing himself to run left with labored breaths. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew the plan was to go right, but this was the only idea he had. With his gloved hands, he pushed himself up from the ground, grabbing onto the wire tightly and pulling himself up it. The barbed wire tangled around the regular wires, pinned up all over the walls like an impassable wall, ripped his gloves to shreds, but even under that he had his hands wrapped. He continued up the wall of wire as quickly as he could until he was higher than Jaeyoon could reach, and he swung himself around, holding onto the wire with his hands as his back faced the spikes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon came sprinting into the alley, stopping to look both ways before slowly raising his head upwards. Sanghyuk smiled down at him, feeling like a spider watching him from where he would never be able to reach him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Barbed wire, very clever,” Jaeyoon commented, turning behind him to look down the alley he knew he was supposed to be forced down. That was fine for now. He would make it happen one way or another. “But I’m not going that way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then go back the way you came,” Sanghyuk tested with raised eyebrows. “I’d love to hear what you find when you go back that way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon’s expression darkened at him, looking between the only two options he had. He seemed to contemplate each of them, wondering which way Sanghyuk wanted him to go more so he could choose the other. The only problem was the tank of liquid nitrogen Juho had back there, and if Jaeyoon got close enough he would spray it at him. There was no going back that way, even if he tried. Honestly, that had never been part of the plan, but hey! The things you find in the midst of shoplifting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re taking your time,” Sanghyuk observed, clicking with his tongue as if the boy was under any sort of time pressure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is all of this?” Jaeyoon asked instead, gesturing to the wall Sanghyuk was currently hanging from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, looking below and around him. “Oh, what? My web? Jaeyoon, darling, you can’t possibly be this blind,” he commented with a bittersweet voice, rolling his eyes with a scoff. “This dark web you can barely see is the beginning of my mirror maze. You’re in my fun house, now. My game.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll leave,” Jaeyoon challenged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk laughed, forcing it to be loud enough for him to hear. “I think it’s funny that you consider that an option.” He gestured his chin towards the dark alley behind Jaeyoon, urging him to test his luck. “Go ahead, Jaeyoon. Prove you’re not a coward. Get through my game. I’m really interested to see you try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t beat me,” Jaeyoon taunted, slowly backing up a few steps until he was turning on his heel, sprinting down the alley and vanishing into the darkness. Sanghyuk swung down from the wires quickly, wincing as his hands stung from beneath the shredded leather. His feet touched down on the ground as he stuck his landing, and he quickly hurried after the boy, vanishing into the darkness with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon had a huge head start on him now, so at the alleys where there were no traps, Sanghyuk could never know which way he went. The next intersection he came to either went straight or to the left. Sanghyuk looked further down the alley leading in front of him, but it was too dark to see anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smirked to himself, crouching to the ground and focusing his eyes onto the dirt, smiling as he saw the wet black paint spilt all over the ground in front of him. He watched as the tracks from the puddle veered left, and with a content smile, Sanghyuk turned left, following Jaeyoon’s unintentional trail. After all, what kind of game would it be if Jaeyoon didn’t feel like he had a choice? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw Jaeyoon in front of him, looking between his options. To his left, nails completely covered the ground making it impossible to cross. They stuck up out of the ground and threatened anyone who dared tried to walk across them. Jaeyoon looked back at him as he approached hesitantly before bolting to his right, further down the alley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The alley is all blocked off with more barbed wire,” Juho spoke. “He isn’t coming back this way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Chanhee replied just as Sanghyuk was about to open his mouth. “I’m almost at Xang, now. Come meet me at the doors to get Inseong!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk moved further down the alley, turning swiftly to his right before being knocked to the ground with a thud. He gasped for breath, kicking his legs up and pushing Jaeyoon away from him. The boy jumped back, disappearing into the alley darkness. Sanghyuk shook his head, reeling from the shock of not expecting Jaeyoon to be waiting behind the wall. He pushed himself to his feet, running after Jaeyoon to follow his trail. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he got to the end of that alley, he quickly darted to his left, knowing without a doubt which way Jaeyoon went. Within seconds of turning he heard the sounds of bombs going off, smiling to himself as he heard the sounds of people screaming for help. He pushed himself further down the alley, watching as it opened out to a street, cars blocking the sides and lined with mouse traps. The cars were all painted with Dawon’s symbols, all in different colors of fresh spray paint while Youngbin flipped a can in his hand, not even flinching as another car blew up behind him. Jaeyoon gaped at the scene, stumbling over his own feet as he ran back into the alley system, not even considering that direction an option.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sprinted after him, his lungs burning in his chest as he pushed himself across the street. He jumped over the edge of the sidewalk, his feet landing roughly on the road before he continued pounding across it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seokwoo, next position!” Sanghyuk breathed into the mic, listening as the blowing up of cars came to a sudden halt. “Youngbin, fireworks,” he ordered, jumping over the next curb in front of him and quickly skidding into the alley, pushing himself to follow whichever way Jaeyoon would have gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked around him at the next intersection; mouse traps littering the ground to his left and barbed wire and fishing line covering the gap to his right which made it completely impassable. He continued to push forward. He was already swinging his elbow around by the time he made it to the corner, his elbow colliding with Jaeyoon’s chest as Jaeyoon’s hand collided with his face. They both stumbled back from the blows, Jaeyoon slamming back into the wall and Sanghyuk’s back hitting the ground. Jaeyoon tried to move forward, so Sanghyuk let him. He needed to buy Youngbin and Seokwoo time anyways. He fell back, running towards the last alley as Jaeyoon chased after him, but with quick hands he grabbed onto the fishing line, pulling it away from the walls and quickly swinging around, hooking it over Jaeyoon’s head and pulling it against his neck. Jaeyoon stumbled back to the ground and without hesitation, Sanghyuk kicked him in the side. He kicked him again, dropping the fishing line to the ground as Jaeyoon continued gasping for breath from the blow, swinging his elbow back into Sanghyuk’s leg and rushing back down the alley they had just come from. Perfect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pushed himself back up, allowing himself to limp away the pain for only a second before dashing back into a sprint, curving around the wall to follow Jaeyoon to the next alley. He saw just as Jaeyoon curved left, and Sanghyuk chased him until that intersection as he watched Jaeyoon go right from there. Sanghyuk smiled to himself, looking down in front of him at the nails and barbed wire covering the ground. He turned around quickly, grabbing a crate he had had Seokwoo leave there earlier, setting it up in front of the trap and stepping up onto it. You wouldn’t be able to see it in the dark, but throughout the minefield of nails and wire, there were several crates, nailed into the ground and stuck in their place. Sanghyuk looked to his right down the alley, waiting for the cue that Jaeyoon had taken the bait. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” he heard Seokwoo speak into the mic, and Sanghyuk smiled to himself, jumping from the first crate to the next and across the field of crates and boxes. He kept going, leaping from one to the next until he looked up to see Jaeyoon running past the opening in front of him, two remote controlled cars equipped with cameras and lit flares chasing quickly behind him. Sanghyuk finished crossing the last of the crates, turning to his left and sprinting quickly after Jaeyoon. The boy, trapped with nowhere else to go, turned to his right. Sanghyuk kept going straight, tearing down the web of badly taped up string in front of him as the cars stopped behind him, blocking the path if he or Jaeyoon tried to retreat. He pulled the string away, freeing up the alley point before backing into the alley behind him, pressing himself against the wall just before his feet would touch the mouse traps and nails covering the ground to his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes turned down the alley, watching with an amused grin as it lit up with dazzling fireworks of all colors. The fireworks filled the alley, shooting off in every direction as Jaeyoon sprinted back the way he had come. He turned right, but before he could get far, Sanghyuk swung himself out, tripping Jaeyoon onto his face and kicking him out into the street in front of him. Sanghyuk kicked at him again, reaching over to the wall to his right as his fingers wrapped around the metal baseball bat in his hands. He didn’t hesitate before swinging it, listening with a smile to the satisfying crack of Jaeyoon’s arm as the metal collided with it. Jaeyoon stumbled back, rolling away from him and jumping to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk chased after him, and as Jaeyoon began to run, Sanghyuk began running faster. He caught up with Jaeyoon easily, jumping on top of him and sending the both of them tumbling down a concrete slide, rolling into a water drainage valley. The platform was wide and entirely concrete with bridges traveling over them every now and then, considering the ditch spanned quite a long distance. This was where he would take Jaeyoon down for good. This was exactly where he wanted him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt Jaeyoon’s arm slam into the side of his head as they rolled, his earpiece popping out and falling somewhere in the grass. Sanghyuk cursed as he felt its presence leave, hitting Jaeyoon back before they stopped rolling, Sanghyuk higher up on the siding than he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk held his bat up in his hand, dropping the top of it in the center of Jaeyoon’s chest before kicking at his side again. Jaeyoon tried to get on top of him again, but it was too late. Sanghyuk had already been leading the fight for too long, and Jaeyoon didn’t have the energy in him to turn it around. Sanghyuk kicked his leg out at Jaeyoon’s. Sending him crashing back to the ground before lifting the bat up. He brought it down, hearing the horrifying echo of metal crashing against concrete as Jaeyoon dodged out of the way, raising his elbow and slamming it into Sanghyuk’s side. Sanghyuk reached under his armpit, grabbing Jaeyoon’s wrist and bending his arm backwards before spinning himself around, releasing Jaeyoon’s arm and kicking his back with the sole of his foot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wrapped his fingers tightly around the bat just as Jaeyoon swung himself back up. It only took a second, Jaeyoon kicking his leg up at the perfect timing and slamming the edge of his boot against Sanghyuk’s fingers, forcing him to drop his grip on the bat. It hadn’t even dropped to the ground yet when Jaeyoon’s hand reached under his jacket, the shine of metal glinting under the moonlight as he moved to straighten his arm, but Sanghyuk reacted instantly, bringing his knee up into the bend of Jaeyoon’s arm, pushing his arm up and slamming the gun up with his free hand. With his other hand, he caught it, swinging his body around to kick Jaeyoon square in the chest before landing with the perfect stance, the gun sitting in the palm of his hand, barrel aimed perfectly at Jaeyoon’s head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t move,” Sanghyuk threatened instantly as he turned the safety off, cocking the gun with his thumb. He was holding his arm out, not standing nearly close enough for Jaeyoon to reach him from where he was on the ground, holding himself up with his hands and breathing heavily, looking up to Sanghyuk with lidded eyes before cracking a smile. Within seconds his smile turned into a grin, and after that he started laughing. Sanghyuk’s hardened expression never changed, though. He just watched in disgust as Jaeyoon found having a gun pointed at his head funny. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s funny, Sanghyuk,” Jaeyoon breathed out, nodding his head at him with a bleeding lip. “Congratulations, okay? You have me pinned down. The cops should be here just as soon as you call them and they’ll take me away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You seem awfully calm for someone with a gun pointed to their head,” Sanghyuk mumbled, not shifting from where he was. His chest rose and deflated with each breath he took, his lungs releasing warm puffs of white air into the cold as tiny snowflakes fell to the ground around them, drifting around in the silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why should I be worried?” Jaeyoon asked with a laugh, leaning back carelessly. “Sanghyuk, I already won. I got everything I wanted, so going to jail doesn’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a gun pointed at you right now,” Sanghyuk repeated, stressing the words with his teeth gritted together just to scare the boy. “And you’re still so convinced I’ll hand you into the police.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you will,” Jaeyoon told him with a straight expression, pushing himself up into a standing position as Sanghyuk took a step back, watching him carefully. He tilted his head, giving Sanghyuk a small smirk of what looked like sympathy. “Face it, Sanghyuk, you lost. Everyone lost. I won, so just drop it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what are you going to do, shoot me?” Jaeyoon asked with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk swallowed, straightening his posture. He just had to keep Jaeyoon convinced enough to keep his distance until the feds and cops came. “I might.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you won’t,” Jaeyoon huffed with a laugh, shaking his head at him. “You’re trying to be the hero now, right? You’re too good hearted to shoot someone, even after everything I’ve done. Isn’t that how the-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How the story goes?” Sanghyuk finished for him, blinking at him as anger rose in his chest. Jaeyoon fell silent, waiting for his response, but Sanghyuk was struggling to pull all of his thoughts together over the arrogentness Jaeyoon displayed. His face heated up with anger and his tongue dripped with blood and malice. “So I’m the hero now, that’s how the story goes? I told you already, in case you just didn’t fucking hear me, that I’m not playing your game anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You already have,” Jaeyoon taunted him, shrugging his shoulders. “You’re already-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make up your damn mind, Jaeyoon,” Sanghyuk spat at him, narrowing his eyes. He tilted his head, keeping his eyes level with the gun still fitted so perfectly to the grip of his hand. “Am I the hero? Or am I the villain?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaeyoon looked him over, crossing his arms over his chest. “The villain,” he finally decided, looking up to meet his eyes again. “Just like you always will be. Who you always have been.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted at Jaeyoon’s comment, his lips turning into a sadistic grin as he took a step forward, not dropping the gun. “So I’m a character in your story, huh? That’s all I am? I’m the villain? Well guess what, that’s only from your side of the story.” Sanghyuk took another step forward, just barely out of the reach of Jaeyoon if he really tried to make a grab for the gun. “I’m done being just a fucking character in </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> book. I’m done playing along.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk kicked his leg out, slamming his foot into Jaeyoon’s chest and sending him tumbling to the ground before he raised the gun to his head again, taking another step towards him. “You don’t get to decide what I am anymore,” he spat, taking another step closer to him as Jaeyoon looked up with threatening eyes, but Sanghyuk didn’t feel threatened anymore. “I’m not your hero. And I’m not your villain.” He took one more step closer, holding the gun perfectly aimed at the center of Jaeyoon’s head, finger curling around the trigger. The air around them went silent as Sanghyuk felt himself pulling back his lips in a grimace, glaring down at him. “I’m the mother fucking antagonist.” He lowered the gun from Jaeyoon’s head to his chest, right where his heart was, before lifting his eyes to meet his, uncaring and emotionless. “Say hi to Taeyang for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With one pull of his finger, Sanghyuk’s arm jerked back, the gun recoiling in the air with burning hot smoke rising from the barrel as Jaeyoon fell back in front of him. He didn’t pull his eyes away from him. Not when the bullet ripped through Jaeyoon’s shirt. Not when Jaeyoon’s whole body jerked back from the impact of the bullet. Not when Jaeyoon’s eyes fluttered closed as his whole body fell limp to the ground. And even after that, Sanghyuk didn’t look away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a few seconds, the entire world around him felt frozen. As his arm returned to where it had been, fingers curling so tightly around the handle of the gun that he was losing blood flow in them, he realized he wasn’t breathing anymore. His lungs froze, full of air, as the atmosphere went dead silent around him. The only sound left was the faint echo of the gunshot still ringing through Sanghyuk’s ears. And as Sanghyuk reminded himself, again, that he still wasn’t breathing, he finally let himself exhale.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The breath came out unsteadily, his hands beginning to shake slightly as if breathing had unfroze time. His legs stopped turning, his posture weakening as his arm dipped. He parted his lips, looking down at Jaeyoon still as his arm tried not to shake, but it was involuntary at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed out again, still unable to look away from Jaeyoon in front of him. “I guess…” he started, mumbling the words to himself before closing his lips, swallowing the blood pooling under his tongue. He exhaled again. “I guess Dawon does kill.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk bit his lip, finally tearing his eyes away from Jaeyoon as he let go of the gun, watching as it fell to the ground with a loud clatter, the sound echoing across the entire valley as if filling a void. It definitely felt like a void right now as Sanghyuk pulled his hands towards himself. He stumbled back a step away from Jaeyoon as if finally realizing what he had done. He had been so angry and so worked up… but this was never the goal. He was supposed to catch Jaeyoon. He was only supposed to catch him. This was- this was not the plan. Jaeyoon was not supposed to be dead. He was- because… because of Sanghyuk. Because Sanghyuk </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk closed his eyes as his cold fingers curled into his palms. He pulled his hands to his chest as if he was afraid of what they would do if he didn’t. He swallowed again, biting his lip as he felt his eyes begin filling with tears, but he wasn’t sad. He was scared… because he had just killed someone. He was afraid, for the first time, of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk licked his lips, shaking his head as he pulled his arms around himself. “I did it,” he mumbled to himself, slowly cracking his eyes open to see Jaeyoon still there on the ground where he had shot him. He exhaled a shaky breath, looking past him with no real emotion except fear for himself. He didn’t really care about Jaeyoon, and that’s what stung more than anything. He had killed a man he knew for half of his life, and yet the only thing he felt was fear for and of himself. He wasn’t sad or upset that Jaeyoon was gone, or that he had been the one to do it. It was as if he felt nothing at all towards it, just acknowledgement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to call Chanhee. His earpiece… it was gone. Chanhee would help him out of it all. Chanhee would save him, just like every other time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Biting his lip, Sanghyuk dragged himself over to Jaeyoon, slipping his hand into the pocket of his jacket and quickly pulling out his phone. He opened the emergency call feature, dialing his brother’s number before pushing the phone against his ear. He stepped back from Jaeyoon with unsteady and hesitant steps, looking over him as he let out another choppy breath, waiting for Chanhee to pick up the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hugged his free hand around his body as he continued to back away, his eyes lingering on Jaeyoon’s lifeless frame. How many more lives did he really have to ruin before he finally understood what he was? He had killed Jaeyoon without even hesitating, pulling the trigger of a gun and watching him fall with no emotion at all. He was… unsafe. He would ruin everything he touched, just like he had his whole life. If it wasn’t already ruined, he was sure to ruin it at some point. After all, he was famous now. Not only was he wanted for everything he had already done, but nobody was quite sure where the line drew between him and Jaeyoon, either. He was wanted for hacking the city’s entire power grid, destruction of more property than he could count, and now the death of Lee Jaeyoon. There was no arguing about this one. Sanghyuk was the one who killed him, without debate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt tears filling up his eyes as Chanhee’s voice clicked to life with the call. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Jaeyoon as he listened to Chanhee breath into the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s-” he began, finding himself choked up as he tried to speak. “Chanhee it’s me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk? Oh thank- thank god. Are you still in the valley?! What happened?! Did the cops come? I’m coming now to get you. We can get you out right before the cops get there if you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee,” Sanghyuk breathed out, cutting the boy off as the first tear fell from his eyes, gliding down his cheek and over his lips, the taste of bitter salt filling his senses. He tried to speak, but every word felt choked up and broken. “I don’t…” he looked down to Jaeyoon, listening in the silence as not a single cop car came. Not a single siren rang in the distance, and nobody knew. But this hadn’t been the plan. This wasn’t what Chanhee thought had happened. Chanhee didn’t… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sanghyuk</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t deserve to be saved by him. Not this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew what he had to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed his tears, composing himself to the best of his ability. “Chanhee, I don’t think there’ll be much to find when you get here,” he choked up, sniffling right after he spoke and lifting his eyes to the sky, trying to dry them up before bringing his head back down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you… what are you saying? Sanghyuk? Hang in there Sanghyuk, I need you to talk to me,” Chanhee rambled, worry filling his voice. He didn’t deserve to always be so worried. Sanghyuk really </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> ruined everything, and he couldn’t bear to ruin it any more. “I have Inseong with me now. Juho and I are on our way with him. We’re coming. Just stay where you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t-” Sanghyuk tired, but more tears started streaming down his cheeks as he tried to get the words out. Never in his life had he wanted to back out of one of his plans so much before, but he refused to let himself. He swallowed his cries, reeling himself back as he tried to contain it. “I don’t want you to come here,” Sanghyuk pushed out, closing his eyes as more tears fell down his cheeks, coating his entire face as his lips pulled back in a grimace. “Chanhee, I want-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand, Sanghyuk. We’re coming to get you so just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to go to the horizon,” Sanghyuk pushed out, the words burning his chest as he said them, his tongue stinging from it. He felt his demeanor crashing into pieces as he sniffled, trying to blink away his tears. “With you. Chanhee I… I want to go to the horizon… together. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee didn’t respond for a second as Sanghyuk breathed in the silence, gritting his teeth together to keep him from breaking down right then and there. Then, “Okay.” Sanghyuk bit his lips as hard as he could to keep himself from breaking down into a grotesque sob, holding himself together with nothing but his fingers curled tightly around his side. “Okay we’ll… the horizon. We’ll meet you there… okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sanghyuk replied through a sob, nodding his head as he held the phone against his ear. “Chanhee… I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Chanhee replied quickly, his voice steady but unsure. It would all be okay, soon. It would be okay. He was going to make it okay. “I love you too. I’ll see you at the horizon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At the horizon,” Sanghyuk confirmed, nodding as he pulled his shaking hand away from his ear, clicking the end call button with his thumb before dropping the phone to the ground. He brought his foot up, slamming his heel into the screen and crushing it to pieces below his feet. He continued to smash it, crying out as he broke it into unfixable shards, kicking the fragments of it all across the concrete valley until there was barely anything left to put back together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cried out, letting the sobs consume him as he pulled his hands to his chest, falling down to the ground in a fit of tears. It was going to be okay. No matter how much it hurt him, or how bad things got, it would all be okay. No more suffering. No more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk brought his knuckles down on the door, watching as not even one second later the door swung open in front of him. Before he could even part his lips to make sense of some words he wanted to say, he was pulled inside, the door closing behind him. He felt like he couldn’t really move, standing perfectly still in the dark house, his head hanging in shame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The house fell completely silent as Sanghyuk waited for Youngkyun to say something first, but he bit his lip at the thought. It wasn’t Youngkyun’s job to say something first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I killed him,” was the first thing he said, his voice cracking at the confession. The house felt even darker around him with the silence that followed. He didn’t really know what to do next. In all honesty, he didn’t know why he was there. He didn’t know why he had gone to Youngkyun after everything, he had just kind of found himself there. </span>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled, raising his hand to wipe away his tears. “And I… I came to… I came to say I’m sorry, even though that doesn’t make up for anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s my fault,” Sanghyuk told him, licking his lips as he folded his hands in front of himself. “Taeyang is… Taeyang is dead because of me. And I can’t… I can’t take that back. So… So I don’t really know why I came here, because I wouldn’t forgive me if I was you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sanghyuk,” Youngkyun tried to interrupt again, his voice choked up and stuffy, but Sanghyuk wasn’t listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… I wanted you to hear it from me,” Sanghyuk continued, breathing deeply to control his crying as if it was actually working. “I… I called Horizon. So…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re leaving?” Youngkyun blurted out, his voice sounding just as choked up as Sanghyuk’s was. He didn’t want to look at him, now. He knew if he saw the broken look in his best friend’s eyes he would break down even more, and he couldn’t do that right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, exhaling through his mouth as he tried not to start sobbing. He swallowed. “Chanhee’s going there now so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, an unfinished statement. Sanghyuk wanted to tell him, but in some way he felt like he already had. The silence that followed felt like Sanghyuk’s unconfessed truth, and Youngkyun knew it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When he gets there…” Youngkyun began slowly, his voice surrounding Sanghyuk like water ready to pull him under and drown him. Youngkyun didn’t continue for a moment, as if he was either trying to put it together himself or maybe find the right words. Sanghyuk waited. “When he gets there… are you going to be there?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk felt a tear drop from his eyes as he swallowed again, slowly beginning to shake his head. The tears continued to threaten him, pushing against the back of his eyelids and pounding inside his head to be let out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard Youngkyun choke out part of a sob, holding himself back. “Are you… are you going to- to say something to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sucked his lips in between his teeth as the tears really started spilling. He heaved in a sob, trying not to but failing. He shook his head again, licking the tears away from his lips as Youngkyun let out an identical sob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For… for how long?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For how long, what?” Sanghyuk pushed out through his tears, unsure of what else to do. He pulled his arms around himself, rubbing his arms up and down with his cut and torn hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For how long will you be gone?!” Youngkyun yelled. Sanghyuk hung his head even lower if that was possible, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you ever come back?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, I… I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sanghyuk confessed, unable to stop himself from sobbing now. He stood in front of Youngkyun like this, breaking apart like he was hitting him with a hammer, breaking his pieces apart one by one. “Maybe I’ll come back… years later after everything is settled down. But I- I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> stay here, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air went silent besides Sanghyuk’s cries as Youngkyun mulled it over, before the boy released a heavy sigh. “I know,” he mumbled quietly. Then slowly, Sanghyuk found Youngkyun’s arms curling around his back. It was a feeling he never thought he would ever feel again in his life, and the second his head fell on Youngkyun’s shoulders he bursted into tears. He pulled his arms tightly around Youngkyun, holding him as close as he could. Just like holding Taeyang’s hand, and just like holding Inseong in his arms, Sanghyuk wanted to remember this feeling for the rest of his life. He wanted to hold onto it so tightly that he would never forget it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not…” Youngkyun began, crying into Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault.” Sanghyuk curled himself into Youngkyun, hiding his eyes in his shoulder as he balled. Youngkyun did the same. “Sanghyuk it’s not… what happened to Taeyang isn’t your fault, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry!” Sanghyuk cried out anyways, pulling himself against Youngkyun as he sobbed. “I can’t- I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault!” Youngkyun cried back at him, his voice cracking at the end. “Hyuk I… I know you loved Taeyang. You… you loved him so much I- I know you didn’t- you didn’t- it just... it’s not your fault.” Sanghyuk tried to shake his head, but Youngkyun patted the back of his head with his hand to stop him. “Stop, Hyuk, it’s not your fault. I won’t let you leave thinking it’s your fault. I won’t let you leave thinking that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault,” Youngkyun repeated, holding Sanghyuk tightly in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk sniffled, letting out another sob. “It’s not my fault,” he repeated, swallowing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgive you,” Youngkyun told him, pulling away from the hug and holding tightly onto his shoulders. “For… for everything,” he mumbled, looking up to Sanghyuk with tear filled eyes as Sanghyuk finally took in his own gaze. “Over the past seven years. All of it, okay? I forgive you for all of it. Anything and everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded with tears in his eyes, grabbing Youngkyun’s hand from his shoulders and holding it tightly between his own, the same way he held Taeyang’s. He looked up, meeting his eyes. “This is how I held Taeyang’s hand,” he mumbled through his tears, breathing out another cry as he held Youngkyun’s hand even tighter. “Just like this. Before I had to… before I had to leave. I know this isn’t how this works… but I want you to feel it, too. Holding his hand one last time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun choked out another sob as he met Sanghyuk’s eyes, nodding through his tears as he accepted it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you always have a place here, right?” Youngkyun asked, still holding his hand as he bit his lip. “If you ever want to come back… you’re always welcome.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk breathed out a tearful laugh, nodding. “I appreciate it but… I won’t be back for a while.” Youngkyun nodded, using his free hand to wipe away his tears. “But hey.” Sanghyuk licking his lips, giving Youngkyun his best appreciative smile. “Thank you for always believing in me and just… thank you for being my best friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun started crying again instantly, nodding as Sanghyuk wrapped his arms around him one last time, holding him as closely as he possibly could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And thank you for being mine,” Youngkyun mumbled back over his shoulder. Sanghyuk exhaled, letting himself sink into Youngkyun’s arms. He let himself breathe completely, every bit of air leaving his lungs and every nerve in his body relaxing into Youngkyun’s embrace. He took in as much of it as he possibly could, absorbing the contact and trying to remember everything about the moment. He wanted to remember the way Youngkyun smelled, the way his arms felt around his own, and the way his chest rose and fell unsteadily with sobs. He never wanted to forget it, even if he never came back. Because no matter what, Youngkyun would always be his best friend, and he was never going to forget that. Never.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>... :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>[Six years later]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Youngkyun is 27, Inseong is 33, Chanhee is 26, Sanghyuk is 31]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The engine of the car purred, revving up as his foot pressed down on the gas pedal, speeding down the freeway with the top down. The wind blew through his hair, blowing it back with whips and gusts of air flowing through it. His hands curled over the steering wheel, steering with just his right hand lazily hanging over the top of the wheel, his other arm hanging out the open window of his car. The warm weather surrounded him, bringing a bright smile to his face as he tipped his shades to block out the sun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He breathed in the air he hadn’t felt in so long, a soft smile gracing his lips as he looked past the road ahead of him, gazing at the horizon of the city. He sped up, changing lanes with a gentle flick of his turn signal and an easy glance over his shoulder. He drove past the cars beside him, sticking his neck up to feel the wind better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seoul. Oh how long it had been since he had seen the high rise of the skyscrapers daring their reaches to the clouds. How many years now it had been since he last took a deep breath in the city’s polluted fumes? He missed it, more than he would ever like to admit in all honesty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andong had been okay, but it was never a place he could ever consider calling home to himself. No matter what he did, or how hard he tried, it just always felt temporary. It was never a home to him like Seoul was. It was a journey, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two weeks after leaving Seoul on a train back in 2020, Sanghyuk had ended up in Andong with nothing. He left without grabbing anything he owned, though most people recognized his face anyways. The cops were after him within hours, but unbeknownst to Sanghyuk, a lot of people protested the warrants out for him. He was smuggled into the basement of a small apartment by a family of strangers and offered a job paid under the table working for a shipping company. He knew better than to deny that offer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a whole year, he lived with the Cho family. They weren’t by any means wealthy, but they had enough money to support another working member in their house. He slept in their basement on a floor mattress, but it was more than he could have asked for, to be honest. He ate meals with the parents and their two highschool aged kids, working to pay them back for every meal and every item of clothing they bought him. He refused to steal money again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within five months, he had made enough money to start paying rent with the family, insisting on helping if he was going to stay with them. By that point, he could buy himself food and clothes. They had other plans, though. They had saved up the money he gave them for rent, putting it all together for him in the end as a deposit for an apartment. After only a single year, he had his own place. He started working on actual payroll, too, paying taxes. It was beyond stressful at times, and he worked harder than he ever thought he would have to in his life, but it distracted him from his depression and thoughts, so he worked hard at it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the fourth year, he had enough money for his own car, but he chose to save it. He went to the DMV and requested a new driving test considering everything, and they were more than glad to offer him one. He got his driver’s license legally and bought his own car on the fifth year mark. By that point, he had moved up ranks in the shipping company. He didn’t just handle boxes, rather he helped with documentation and advised the directors, who valued his opinion for whatever reason. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a debate in his mind for a long time, but by the sixth year mark, he finally decided he had had enough of Andong. He had lived away from his home for long enough to last a lifetime, and though he no longer broke down crying over everything he missed about his old life, he still missed it dearly. But his life wasn’t the only thing that changed over the six year period he had been gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun, after about only a month of hiding from news crews, made a formal statement against orders giving his alabi and story to the public. The public defended him with protests and near riots, and Youngkyun was spared from having to even pay a fine or anything. He was cleared of all association with Jaeyoon and Dawon. Chanhee was charged a hefty amount for involvement with Dawon, but the people defended him, too. They protested everything, taking Dawon’s side. He still ended up selling the apartment to Sanghyuk’s knowledge, and instead moved in with Youngkyun for a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone Sanghyuk knew released stories of what had happened. He had watched all of them, crying himself to sleep for several nights after seeing them. Youngkyun had gone over everything from the time they met to the last few weeks. Chanhee’s interview had been over two hours long, consisting of him breaking down at least seven times. He released information on everything, not keeping a single thing private. Youngbin talked about it all too, and Seokwoo and Juho were happy to boast about their involvement in the finale. Even people Sanghyuk had met only once as Dawon had spoken up about their encounters with him, and soon there were files upon files of people defending him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shortly after, Youngkyun took over Xang as the sole CEO. He instantly became chairman, running the company affairs and hiring more people to help him as he expanded. He branched out the company to expand far past the boundaries of Seoul, and after just a few short years he was already donating his personal funds towards the construction of several homes for the orphaned and the poor. He built shelters for them out of his own pocket all over the district. Sanghyuk believed one of them was named The Horizon, which Youngkyun ran personally. When Sanghyuk had any extra money, he didn’t indulge in buying himself things. Rather, he donated it there anonymously, and completely legally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun, to Sanghyuk’s knowledge, was now one of the most well known philanthropists and CEOs in all of South Korea. Around the two year mark, Sanghyuk had stopped looking for pictures, trying to avoid upsetting himself with the past any more at the time, but from the pictures he saw every now and then, Youngkyun still never took off his wedding ring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk knew very little about Inseong besides the fact that he had gone through intense therapy for a long time, and maybe was still going through it. He closed his cafe, and around the three year mark, opened his own under his name. He called it Seongie’s. The way Sanghyuk found out was by complete accident, stumbling upon it scrolling through his media on his work break, but the news had made him smile like a damn fool. Though he had never said a proper goodbye to Inseong, he was happy for him opening his own cafe and seriously wanted him to lead a happy life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee, however. Sanghyuk knew nothing about Chanhee. Youngkyun had gone through lengths to keep the boy out of the news and reports, even if that meant cutting off Sanghyuk’s source of information. Even after all this time, he didn’t know where his brother was. He could only hope he was happier now, living the life he deserved in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngbin had closed his bar for about two months while he dealt with the press, but after that time passed he had opened it back up, this time with some redesigns and new additions. Sanghyuk only saw pictures years ago, so it might have changed since the last time he saw it, but Youngbin had painted Dawon’s symbol across the entire floor of his bar. It became a natural tourist attraction, bringing in a lot of money and new customers. He even added a policy, learned by every bartender, to help prevent girls from leaving with people they weren’t comfortable leaving with. Sanghyuk had actually snorted the first time he read that, remembering way back to when he and Chanhee had forced him to help them kidnap some poor girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Juho and Seokwoo were both relieved of their duties as lawyers, or at least, they were supposed to be. To Sanghyuk’s knowledge, both of the boys quit before they could be told the news. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t know where Juho was now, but the last time he saw anything about him three years ago had been Juho travelling to Paris for business of some kind, so Sanghyuk had to assume he was doing well. Seokwoo became a model, naturally. After everything had happened agencies swooned over his videoed interviews and chased after him for his face, which Seokwoo had gladly accepted for the sole reasons that it paid well and he could use the publicity to advertise charities. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Truly, everyone had seemed to be well enough without him. And there was no real reason Sanghyuk was coming back now, he just felt like he was finally ready. He felt like, after six years of time away from everything, he could manage face his old memories. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been three years now since his last migraine, a year and a half since his last anxiety attack, and he rarely got headaches anymore. It wasn’t only these physical signs, but he just knew. It was time to come home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could have gone to anyone first. Logically, for the sake of his own future, he should have gone to see Chanhee first. The boy might kill him if he didn’t, but he also might just kill him anyways. But then again, Sanghyuk really couldn’t go to him first no matter how much he wanted to, considering he had no idea where the boy was. Driving through the city, the buildings towering above him as the clear blue sky swam above him, it seemed only too obvious where he was heading first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled the car over to the side of the road, putting it in park easily and lifting his chin to look up at the tall glass building towering above him. A small smile found its way onto his lips as he pulled the door to his car open, climbing out of it and pushing it back closed as he leaned on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no possible way Sanghyuk could not be nervous, but at the same time it was nothing like the nerves he always had in his early twenties. Everything had made him nervous back then, so he guessed his senses had kind of adjusted to what actually warranted nerves and anxiety now. This was one of those things, and yet at the same time it wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk was returning to the people he hadn’t seen in six years after leaving them all with little to nothing said. He left everything behind and didn’t leave a single trace of his whereabouts. The people in Andong kept him hidden well, and nobody peeped. He had just… disappeared. And now, six years later, he was back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He worried about how everyone would react, and what they would think of him. Was he too different now? Had he changed for the worst? Were they still mad? Scratch that, Chanhee would definitely still be mad. There were just so many unanswered questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A small puddle of guilt pooled in Sanghyuk’s stomach, but looking up at the building in front of him felt like just washing it away. Those six years had turned everything around for the better, and leaving was the best decision he had ever made, even if it had hurt every single person he was close to. They were all better off now, and if he could go back in time and make the decision again, he wouldn’t do anything differently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk inhaled sharply, nodding his head to himself as he walked around the hood of his car, spinning the keys around on his fingers before stuffing them in the back pocket of his pants. He shrugged his shoulders up to make his posture a bit better as he stepped up onto the sidewalk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lifted his hand to push the door open, but his fingers paused centimetres from the door. Six years it had been since he had last been here. It felt like an absolute eternity now, and walking back into it felt like diving back into a box of memories he would never be able to escape from. But he would. He already had escaped from it. This was just spilling the box out, not trapping himself inside of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He exhaled, placing the palm of his hand on the handle of the door and pushing it open gently, feeling the cool fans around him blow gentle air towards him as he walked into the sophisticated looking lobby. His eyes traveled over everything, taking in the sight of every single detail. It didn’t all look the same, not by a long shot, but it was familiar enough to bring back so many memories he almost felt overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” a girl behind the counter spoke up with a honey like voice, interrupting his train of thoughts and snapping his attention to her. She was dressed in a neat pencil dress with her hair neatly pulled up into a loose bun, curled strands hanging down to shape her face. Looking at her, Sanghyuk felt severely under-dressed in just tight fit blue jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair merely blow dried and swept around his head. The blonde streak had long been dyed over, leaving his hair a simple black. “Can I help you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked his attention back to focus on her, bringing the kindest smile onto his lips that he could. Even after living in Andong for all those years, Sanghyuk almost felt weird not being recognized. He was sure people would know his face. Then again… a lot changed in six years. Sanghyuk was much more built now, having actually worked in a shipping company moving boxes all day and working out to keep his health sustained. His hair was a bit longer than it had originally been, and his face was slightly more defined. So maybe he wasn’t as easy to recognize as he thought. Then again, six years was a long time to forget a face, even the villain of Seoul. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Sanghyuk told her carefully, approaching the front desk. He licked his lips, bouncing on the heels of his feet a bit. “Is Kim Youngkyun in his office today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl gave him a bit of a strange look, not moving to check anything on her desk. “I’m sorry, but do you mind telling me who you are? Reporters are not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m not- I’m not a reporter,” Sanghyuk told her quickly, shaking his head. He tried to compose himself. He was literally a 31 year old man and he was acting like a 20 year old barely-adult. “My name is Lee Sanghyuk,” he introduced, bowing his head slightly. “I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and you wouldn’t be the first to claim that,” the secretary pointed out quickly, causing Sanghyuk to furrow his brows. “So please, take your leave or we’ll have you removed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, reaching into his pocket for his wallet and pulling it out quickly, retrieving his license and handing it over to her. “I’m seriously Sanghyuk,” he attempted, gesturing for her to take his ID. “Look up pictures of me on your computer. I’m sure you’ll notice some differences considering the years but-” Sanghyuk paused, watching her begin to type after barely glancing at his ID, probably assuming it was faked. “But it’s really me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk saw the </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> dawn over her face as she looked between her computer screen and his face, realization striking her like a bat. She looked back up to him with wide eyes, her jaw going slack. “You’re… you’re not joking- you’re-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Sanghyuk,” he finished for her with a nod, licking his lips. “So… is Youngkyun in his office? I know he might be busy, but you don’t really think he’d mind if I…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s in a meeting right now,” the secretary quickly blurted out, unable to tear her eyes from him. “He’s- I can show you. I ask that you wait until the end, but I’ll gladly show you where he is!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk gave her a gentle smile, thanking her as she moved out from behind her desk to lead him across the building. She had him sit on a small cushioned seat outside of the doors to an auditorium, and for a few moments, Sanghyuk actually obeyed her words. He sat with his hands tightly between his knees, but he quickly got bored. A lot about Sanghyuk had changed, but in the end, he was who he was. And who he was, was impatient. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he sat still, twiddling his fingers together and aimlessly waving his legs back and forth, he began to wonder how his confrontation with Youngkyun would go. After all this time, Sanghyuk meets him again by patiently waiting outside of his meeting? How absolutely lame and boring. And Sanghyuk was </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> but boring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood up from the seat slowly, reaching over to the doors and testing their weight with only a small pull. The second he noticed they weren’t locked, he pulled them open only enough to reveal a small crack for him to peek through. Youngkyun was there, dressed professional yet casual in front of a huge projector screen, speaking with a microphone pinned to his shirt so everyone could pay attention to him. Sanghyuk kept his head down as he pulled the doors open enough to slip himself inside, watching his feet as he slipped into one of the back row seats with nobody else around him. Youngkyun hadn’t even raised his eyes to him, thankfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He breathed out a sigh of familiarity, sneaking into places he wasn’t supposed to be in with an ulterior motive. It really had been six years since he had done anything of the sort. He slacked his shoulders, raising his eyes to the stage Youngkyun stood on, presenting like he was born to do it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t understand half of what the boy said, but he was enamored by it. Hearing his voice again in person was like listening to his favorite childhood song after finally remembering the title. He rested back in his seat, just watching the way Youngkyun moved his hands as he talked. His hair, which had been long and brown when Sanghyuk had left, was now a jet black swept over his head with gel. He looked more fit than he had been years ago and Sanghyuk was ready to applaud him for the way he built himself. He had much more of a professional aura now, walking around with the confidence he definitely hadn’t had all those years ago. Then again, Xang was more than eight years old now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Sanghyuk was finished looking over every inch of his best friend, Youngkyun was clicking the lights back on remotely, looking out to his audience. “Before you all head out, I just want to remind everyone to keep an eye on the projections for this month and work to the best of your ability. The output of everyone here lately has been astounding, so keep it up. I’m extremely happy with the previous month’s projections, and I know predicting for an increase over just the period of a month is asking for a lot, but I’m sure we can get it done. That’s all, so thank you,” he concluded, bowing to everyone in the audience as people began to push themselves out from their seats. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t panic, not even slightly, but he did act on his own impulse decisions. After all, he was a man of aesthetic, and he couldn’t do a single thing, it seemed, without creating a scene.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before the first man could push himself out of his chair, Sanghyuk’s hand shot in the air, his head aimed down at his lap. The room turned silent, and Sanghyuk could picture Youngkyun looking out across the auditorium, wondering who in the hell was in his business meeting raising their hand like an elementary grade kid wearing nothing but blue jeans and a black tee. What a sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes? In the back?” Youngkyun’s voice rang out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smirked to himself, pushing himself up to his feet as he dropped his hand. He felt the whole room watching him as he raised his head to the stage, but their gazes meant nothing to him. He straightened his back, plastering his signature smile on his face as all professionalism dropped from Youngkyun’s expression. He looked frozen, unsure of what he was seeing or what to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just curious,” Sanghyuk began, his voice strong as he spoke out across the entire auditorium. “Are those projections strictly contained to the Seoul district or is it speaking for the company as a whole?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room fell to a silent echo as Youngkyun’s lips pulled into a thin line, his eyes watering up visibly even from the distance. His fingers grasped at the air around him as his face broke out into a smile, and within seconds it was a laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like no time had passed at all before Youngkyun was dashing off the stage, Sanghyuk moving out into the aisle between the seats as Youngkyun ran down it, throwing himself into Sanghyuk’s arms and holding him as tightly as he possibly could. He cried out with a sob as he ran his fingers through Sanghyuk’s hair, spinning around him in a strange purgatory between laughing and crying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled away from Sanghyuk, who also had tears pooling in his eyes, placing his hands on his shoulders and looking into his eyes, as if he couldn't possibly believe it was him. But it was, and there was no doubt that it was. Youngkyun laughed again, gaping at Sanghyuk with the happiest smile Sanghyuk had ever seen the boy have. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I can’t believe it,” Youngkyun mumbled as people rose from their seats in silence, all eyes on them. But Youngkyun didn’t care, unable to tear his eyes away from Sanghyuk’s. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you I would come back didn’t I?” Sanghyuk mumbled, raising his hands to quickly wipe his tears away. “God, don’t make me cry. I’m too old for this shit-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck you</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Youngkyun cursed at him with a laugh, punching his shoulder roughly before wrapping his arms around him in another hug. “You never said you were coming back! When you left you said ‘maybe’!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, did I?” Sanghyuk asked with a laugh under his breath, letting Youngkyun pull away from him again with an exasperated look in his eyes. Sanghyuk shrugged. “But I’m back now!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good!” Youngkyun told him, eyes still flooded with tears. He moved forward again, this time wrapping his arms gently around Sanghyuk’s torso, placing his head on his shoulder. “If you leave again I’ll come after you myself this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk chuckled, placing his hands on Youngkyun’s back. “I’m not leaving again,” he assured him carefully. “You’re really stuck with me this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the only one that wanted you to leave in the first place,” Youngkyun reminded him immediately. “None of us ever wanted you to leave. We </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted you to stay. I- I get why you left… but god I missed you so fucking much,” Youngkyun cried, digging his fingers into the material of Sanghyuk’s shirt as he rested his head against Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “Do you have any idea how boring life is without you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk chuckled, gaping down at him. “Really? After everything that happened?! You were so busy you couldn’t breathe for like two months straight after I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? And it would have been better with you there with us,” Youngkyun told him, cutting him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They would have arrested me,” Sanghyuk pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So? I’ll go to jail with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? And miss out on all this?” Sanghyuk asked, pulling away from him to gesture around the room. Youngkyun’s face was completely stained with tears, but there was still a smile on his face as he laughed at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really missed you,” Youngkyun confessed, giggling a bit more as he just looked over every inch of him. “It’s not the same without fighting with you every single week-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> and that was then!” Sanghyuk told him quickly with a laugh, shaking it off. “I promise to only pick fights with you maybe every </span>
  <em>
    <span>other</span>
  </em>
  <span> week now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re still so cocky,” Youngkyun commented, shaking his head with a fond smile. “I would have thought seeing Chanhee first would take you down a few pegs.” Sanghyuk didn’t reply. “You… you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> go see Chanhee first, right?” He still didn’t reply. “Sanghyuk…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay listen-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you come to me </span>
  <em>
    <span>first</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Youngkyun yelled, blinking at him as he stepped back from him a step. “Sanghyuk what the fuck?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re easy!” Sanghyuk defended loudly. “You were the only person I went to before I left and-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and do you know how </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span> Chanhee was?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, and I don’t want to,” Sanghyuk clarified quickly, shaking his head. “But I knew you wouldn’t be pissed about me returning because you supported me leaving!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Supported’ is a strong choice of words.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kyun, you hugged me goodbye and told me I was always welcome back. That counts as supporting,” Sanghyuk deadpanned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay well my point stands that Chanhee was pissed then and he’ll be pissed now!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And how exactly was I supposed to find Chanhee when you’re so good at keeping him out of the news? I literally have </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea where he’s been the past six years.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun paused, blinking at him. “Wait,” he started, furrowing his brows. “Really? You don’t know… anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shook his head, looking towards him. “So I would really appreciate it if you could maybe… give me an address or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun’s look appeared empty for a moment, but then it twisted into a sadistic smile. “You mean… you haven’t seen </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> but me, yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like that look. Wipe it off your face,” Sanghyuk replied bluntly, shaking his head at the mere suggestive look Youngkyun was giving him. “Just tell me where my brother is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t even seen… I don’t know… Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun, this isn’t about Inseong,” Sanghyuk told him quickly, shaking his head. “This is about Chanhee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So is there someone else?” Youngkyun asked, holding his chin up and crossing his arms over his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Someone else?!” Sanghyuk asked, blinking towards him with wide eyes. “What… like… like- what? No!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why haven’t you gone to him yet?” Youngkyun asked with a short raise of his eyebrows. He looked unimpressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re my best friend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wrong answer,” Youngkyun told him, tsking. He shook his head, looking him over. “Really? When were you planning on going to Inseong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, last to be honest,” Sanghyuk confessed quickly, pursing his lips as he nodded. “I wouldn’t exactly say we left off on a great note.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? You saving his life didn’t count as a good note?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut it out. He’s moved on and I’m nothing but someone who will stop by and cause him to be confused, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> that,” Sanghyuk interjected quickly, side eyeing a few of the people watching them before turning on his heel, gesturing with his chin for Youngkyun to follow him out. He did so without hesitation, following Sanghyuk out of the auditorium. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell makes you think he moved on?” Youngkyun asked, almost as if he was personally offended by the statement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “Uhm, because it’s been six years? There’s no reason he shouldn’t have moved on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun shook his head, stepping in front of Sanghyuk quickly and blocking him. “But you haven’t,” he pointed out, raising his eyebrows. Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, but Youngkyun was already giving him a threatening look. “Don’t give me that. You clearly haven’t moved on since you’re avoiding it, so why would you think he did?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Inseong isn’t me,” Sanghyuk told him with a gentle smile, tilting his head with a shrug. “Inseong is…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Waiting,” Youngkyun finished for him quietly after a moment of Sanghyuk being completely unable to come up with the proper words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the word I was looking for,” Sanghyuk told him, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Youngkyun tsked at him again. “I don’t give a shit. I’m telling you, Hyuk. He’s waiting. He’s been waiting all this time.” Sanghyuk blinked at him for a moment, trying to find a sign that Youngkyun was playing some sick prank on him, but he looked completely serious. The boy sighed, rolling his eyes. “Sanghyuk look me in the eyes.” He did. “Inseong has been waiting for you to come back for six years, now. So… go. I won’t tell you where Chanhee is. You’ll have to ask him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s just cruel,” Sanghyuk mumbled with narrowed eyes, but Youngkyun just smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can all get together for pizza at my place later, kay?” he planned, patting Sanghyuk on the shoulders with a proud smile. “I’m gonna go try and focus on my work again, but really it’ll probably just settle in that you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> here. I feel like that hasn’t quite happened yet. But… I won’t keep you to myself. Go get Inseong,” he confessed and encouraged, nodding his chin back towards the main doors. “He’s waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk didn’t even have time to panic or worry. He left Xang for his car immediately, not needing an address to find Inseong’s cafe, which he knew was open. He sped down the streets towards it immediately, only not worrying at that point because he was too distracted thinking about what he would say to the boy. He didn’t even sit and ponder in his car, pulling over to the curb and getting out with the door slamming shut behind him not even a second later. He stuffed his keys into his pocket, sprinting up the steps to the cafe. He didn’t even pause before shoving the door open, not thinking as he pushed himself inside. He didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to see him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The inside of the cafe was absolutely stunning. The floor was a dark spruce wood with gentle sphere lights hanging over every table and window counter. Cacti in tiny pots centered every table and pictures were hung up on several of the walls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk found himself drawn to the pictures before he had even locked eyes on the counter. He felt the breath drain from his lungs as he looked over each and every one. Suddenly, it struck him how much of his friends’ and family’s lives he had missed out on. There were a few small pictures on one side of the cafe. One was of Youngbin, Juho, and Youngkyun all smiling at a table in Youngbin’s bar. Another one showed Inseong and Chanhee smiling and laughing as they played a game of cards. A picture beside that one was an old one of Youngkyun and Taeyang laughing together. Below that, Juho and Seokwoo posing together throwing up gang signs in front of their old law firm. And beside that one, Youngkyun sipping coffee in Inseong’s new cafe behind the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the other wall of the cafe, a big picture hung in the corner showing Inseong standing in front of his new cafe building with Youngkyun and Chanhee by his sides, all holding up their arms with happy smiles on their faces. There was another one next to it further down the wall showing Inseong and Youngkyun surrounding Chanhee… in a graduation cap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee… in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>graduation cap</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk’s eyes snapped to the counter, watching as a small girl stared back at him with the same shock. He didn’t know what to say anymore, as if any confidence he had had vanished the second he saw the picture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee had gone to college. The thought consumed his entire mind, clouding over every other thought. Chanhee had </span>
  <em>
    <span>graduated</span>
  </em>
  <span> college. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk focused his attention back on the girl behind the counter just as her eyes flickered from him to the wall behind him. He spun around to look over his shoulder. There, on the wall, was a picture Inseong and Sanghyuk had taken together, both of them laughing and smiling in pure bliss. And Inseong had hung it up on the walls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned back around to face the girl. “Hi,” he breathed out, blinking. “Is uhm- is Inseong… here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded without saying a word, her eyes running over his face. She licked her lips, snapping herself out of her gaze before turning around. “Inseong! Come out here for a second!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to watch the cookies to time them right!” Inseong called back. His voice was just as lighthearted as it had always been when he had been his happiest, and Sanghyuk felt like heart throbbing at the thought of his voice sounding like that all the time now. “You know it’s a new recipe!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then switch out with me!” she called immediately, turning over her shoulder to see Sanghyuk standing behind her again. “Like… </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quickly, quickly,” he urged her with a laugh, coming around the counter with a bright smile on his face. He jogged across the floor, giggling to himself in bliss before he looked up. And just like that, Inseong’s smile twitched, his feet stopping him in his place as the spatula that had been in his hand fell, clattering to the floor. The entire cafe went silent aside from the gentle music in the background as Sanghyuk suddenly became </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely</span>
  </em>
  <span> aware of the fact that Inseong could be pissed at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed his pride, looking up to meet Inseong’s eyes. “Hi,” he whispered, just as the girl behind the counter bowed out of the way, running to the back of the kitchen where Inseong had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Inseong stood completely frozen in front of him, just looking at him with wide eyes and parted lips. Sanghyuk didn’t interrupt it, letting him take it in. Sanghyuk returning wasn’t anything new for him, but for Inseong, it was insane. Slowly, the boy seemed to take a few steps forward. Sanghyuk saw phones beginning to record the scene out of the corner of his eyes as Inseong slowly made his way around the counter, walking until he was standing right in front of Sanghyuk. He was still taller than him, but Sanghyuk didn’t have to look up so much to see him now. He swallowed the comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong slowly lifted his hands, eyes filling with tears as his shaking fingers hovered over Sanghyuk’s cheeks, like he was afraid if he reached out to touch him he would just disappear into thin air. Then, carefully, the tips of Inseong’s fingers touched his skin, his palms cupping his cheeks and holding his face there like he was marveling at a lost wonder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He seemed to struggle with his words, breathing out nothing but shaky breaths of air as he looked over him entirely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk, out of sympathy, decided to speak since he could not. He brought his hand up to cup Inseong’s hand, a comforting reassurance. “I’m back,” he whispered, treading lightly. He licked his lips. “And… I’m sorry for leaving you without saying anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A single tear rolled down Inseong’s cheek at his words, his lips pulling back a tiny bit as he started to cry. Sanghyuk bit his lip, feeling absolutely terrible. “I- uhm-” he stuttered. “You can be mad. You should. Since I- because I left like that. But-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re back,” Inseong finished, his voice cracking as he spoke. Sanghyuk couldn’t control the happy smile that spread across his face hearing Inseong speak so softly towards him. He leaned his face into the touch of Inseong’s hand, letting the touch consume him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m back,” he confirmed again. “And I’m not leaving this time. Never again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise?” Inseong croaked, licking his lips again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, looking at nothing but Inseong’s eyes. “I promi-” he didn’t even get to finish. Before he could, Inseong was pulling their lips together, cupping his face as he pressed them into a kiss. Sanghyuk reacted instantly, grabbing Inseong’s wrist and returning the kiss. People around them cheered, but Sanghyuk couldn’t even bother to care. Inseong’s hands slowly slid down the sides of his face to his neck, and then to rest on his shoulders as Sanghyuk moved his hands to Inseong’s waist, holding him there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when Inseong finally pulled away, Sanghyuk realized he was crying a bit, too. Inseong’s face was drenched in tears by this point, but Sanghyuk couldn’t blame him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Sanghyuk confessed suddenly, forcing himself to be strong. He didn’t allow himself to even come close to breaking down, sniffling away his tears and forcing himself to sober up. “I know it’s been years, and even before that it was such a short time… but I really do love you, Inseong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Inseong told him, his eyes filled with tears and adoration as he looked down to him. “I loved you then, too. I’ve never stopped loving you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I left,” Sanghyuk told him, leaning forward until his arms were wrapping around Inseong’s torso, pulling him into a hug. Inseong placed his hand on the back of Sanghyuk’s head, resting his cheek against his hair. “I wanted to make everyone happier, even if it hurt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Inseong confessed with a cracked voice, sniffling as he apparently tried to stop himself from crying. “But you’re… you’re back now. That’s what matters. You came home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m home,” Sanghyuk confirmed, closing his eyes as he leaned into Inseong’s touch. “Right now. I’m home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>》《</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you have a car now,” Inseong commented, his fingers lacing with Sanghyuk’s as they walked hand in hand, a gentle breeze blowing by them. “I remember driving you everywhere-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t drive me </span>
  <em>
    <span>everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you drove me like three places, okay?” Sanghyuk asked, cutting him off. Inseong laughed, shaking his head slightly with a smile on his face as they swung their arms between themselves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just mean that it’s insane to see how different things are,” Inseong mumbled, leaning his head to the side to shift his weight off balance, bumping his shoulder into Sanghyuk’s as they walked. “We all thought you wouldn’t come back, so we never really thought about you changing. You just… I guess remained the same in all of our minds.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really? Not a single one of you had faith that I’d return?” Sanghyuk asked with a smile and a scoff, centering his weight after being thrown off by Inseong. “I told Youngkyun I wasn’t leaving forever!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youngkyun didn’t believe you’d come back,” Inseong mumbled, staring down at their feet as they walked. “So I guess none of the rest of us did, either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you all wanted me to return?” Sanghyuk asked, turning to see him with raised eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Inseong answered without hesitation. “Why wouldn’t we? Sanghyuk, whether or not you want to think about it, you are important to all of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I left to make things better,” Sanghyuk pointed out. “Because I had fucked them all up in the first place.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And though it hurt, I’ll admit it was a good decision,” Inseong confessed easily. “It hurt like hell for a long time for a lot of us, and not having you there was like a hole, at least for me. I can’t imagine how it felt for Chanhee and Youngkyun. But… you made the right choice. If you hadn’t left, none of us ever would have gotten past what happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah,” Sanghyuk mumbled, as if he had somehow forgotten what had happened. “Sorry I killed your boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong rolled his eyes. “You could at least sound a little sorry, and maybe say that a bit quieter?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk snorted. “Why? Everyone knows I killed Jaeyoon, and I haven’t regretted it once. I killed a person and don’t regret it, isn’t that insane?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong shook his head. “I don’t think so. Especially not after everything he did. And- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>! You’re distracting me from my point!” Inseong pointed out, turning to glare at him for a second as if he was actually mad. “My point was that, no matter what happened, none of us would be where we are now without everything that happened, so yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of us are or will be glad that you’re back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>All of us</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk shrugged, pointing his eyes down at the ground again. “I’d like to think you’re wrong,” Sanghyuk mumbled. “After all. Taeyang…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Youngkyun is still glad you’re back,” Inseong cut him off. “And trust me, Taeyang will be glad when you go to see him, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See him?” Sanghyuk asked, unenthused. “His body is gone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee and Youngkyun planted a tree for him, anyways,” Inseong explained, swinging their hands again as they walked. “I met your parents, by the way. Chanhee’s, too. Taeyang’s tree is small right now but eventually it’ll be bigger. They’re all side by side so… I think a lot more people will be happy to see you back than you realize.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go see them soon,” Sanghyuk promised in a quiet voice. “But I should probably make my rounds with the living first, huh? Sorry Tae,” he added, a small smile appearing on his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still can’t believe you don’t know anything about Chanhee,” Inseong muffled suddenly, shaking his head with a smile. “Of all people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You and Kyun worked hard to keep him hidden,” Sanghyuk reminded him with a shrug. “And it worked.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Inseong began, swinging their hands again. “You’ll be happy to know that all of us still meet up every single week to get together. And by that, I mean Kyun, Chanhee, and I. Youngbin joins us half of the time, and sometimes Seokwoo and Juho come by. But it’s a weekly thing.” Sanghyuk found himself smiling at the image, not daring to interrupt Inseong as he explained. “We get food or drinks together and just vent about our weeks. It’s been a good way to stay sane, considering we all understand each other more than anyone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about how it’s been,” Sanghyuk requested in a small voice, tilting his head as he walked. “Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled to himself. “First Youngkyun sold the house,” he began, pausing to think of events in chronological order. “For… obvious reasons. We all bought one, together. Kyun, Chanhee, and I. It wasn’t even a question, really. Chanhee and I hadn’t let each other’s side, and Youngkyun started to panic whenever he wasn’t with one of us. It was severe anxiety for a while with him. I think it hit after you left, and after he heard the news. So really, for the first two months, we barely separated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chanhee underwent a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of questioning. I remember at one point the investigators kept Chanhee for over fifteen hours. God… Youngkyun got so pissed. He stormed into the police department and screamed his head off. He started yelling about how it was his responsibility to look after Chanhee. He screamed at the police for not feeding him properly and making him anxious before storming out of there with him. You probably don’t even realize the roll Kyun took on for him. I guess he felt like he had to fill your shoes, because he didn’t let Chanhee skip a single meal, even when he was so depressed he felt like he would be sick if he ate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk pulled his lips into a thin line as a smile came to his face. Of course Youngkyun would do that. It was just like Youngkyun to care so much when he himself was struggling. That was just who he was, whether it be for good or bad. He was undeniably thankful, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After a few months, Chanhee got himself a job working in cleaning at a therapy office. It was calming there, and the people there were really understanding towards him, so it was a good place for him to work. He refused to go to actual therapy, but he enjoyed being in the office itself. I think that’s what really inspired him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Inspired him?” Sanghyuk asked, continuing to swing their hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About a year and a half in, Chanhee blurted out that he was thinking about going to college,” Inseong told him, a proud smile spreading across his face. “He said it was just an idea, and by the end of the night he got drunk and told us to forget about it. But we didn’t. I used compensation money from the government and Youngkyun is filthy rich, always has been. And together, we paid Chanhee’s tuition for college.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk stopped walking, tugging on Inseong’s arm with wide eyes as he gaped up at him. “You… you paid for him to go to college?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Inseong told him without hesitation. A slight blush crept up his cheeks, his head falling down to the ground again. “He’s my family,” he added in a whisper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you marry me?” Sanghyuk asked as a joke, still unmoving as he looked towards him. “I’m just… so in love with you right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong laughed, pulling his arm to guide him to start walking again. “How about you start with actually officially going out with me instead of just kissing me while you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we don’t need to go over the fact that yes, at that time I still thought you were dating Jaeyoon. That is irrelevant and never has to be brought up again-” Sanghyuk ranted, Inseong cracking up with a wide smile the entire time. “Fine,” he agreed, looking up to see him. “Will you date me, then? Is that how that’s done?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a loser,” Inseong mumbled, tugging him along with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious!” Sanghyuk defended strongly, jutting his chin out. “Will you be my boyfriend or not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>guess</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Inseong laughed with an equally sarcastically annoyed voice. He swung their hands as they continued to walk more. “Anyways, Chanhee went to college for psychology.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Psychology?” Sanghyuk asked, blinking at him. Inseong nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was fascinated by the mental states of other people, and I think he wanted to be able to help people. He doesn’t work as a therapist, but he gives lectures on mental health and dealing with things like loss, stress, and anxiety. I think it’s a good topic for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And a great way to remind me why I left in the first place,” Sanghyuk commented with a snort. “He shouldn’t have had to deal with any of that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s teaching a lecture right now. It’s a usual class he teaches, so you should be able to go right in and interrupt, assuming you don’t want to wait.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I literally walked in on Youngkyun’s business meeting. I’m not waiting outside for Chanhee,” Sanghyuk told him sternly, Inseong nodding in agreement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they stopped outside of the doors to the lecture hall, Inseong leaned forward, holding Sanghyuk’s hand and pressing their lips together. Sanghyuk leaned into it seconds before Inseong pulled away, a sweet smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re coming to our house, right? And you’re staying there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk blinked up at him. “Your… I thought… wait, you all still live together?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled, nodding as he let go of Sanghyuk’s hand. “Like I said, we’re a family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk smiled, watching as Inseong took a few steps back. “Inseong, I’ve never been happier to have anyone as my family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inseong smiled back at him. “And I’ve never been happier to consider people like you my family,” he replied with a shrug. “I’ll head home, now. Go see Chanhee, and take your time. Kyun and I will wait for you both.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk nodded, watching as Inseong turned and walked away, leaving him with nothing left to do but make his way inside. And so he did. He followed the signs on the walls to the lecture hall Inseong mentioned somewhere in the middle of their conversation. The second he found it, he amped himself up. No waiting, and no nerves. This was his family, and nothing was keeping him from them any more. He had missed enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without missing another beat, he pushed open the doors. He walked straight through them, walking up to the stairs and looking straight into the room. The doors slammed shut behind him, and Chanhee was forced to raise his attention to the noise in the middle of his words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hair still looked like a coconut around his head, but it was less childish, if that made any sense. His hair was a light brown now, his face matured and his body much more fitted than before. He wore a professional outfit with fancy pants and a collared shirt, his shiny black shoes clicking against the floor as he walked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Chanhee looked up to Sanghyuk, the words faded away from his lips. Time itself stopped as Chanhee’s arm froze mid air, his eyes locking onto Sanghyuk’s. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk could feel his heart beating in his chest as he stood in the middle of the room, breathing away his nerves as he waited for the recognition to settle in for the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then it happened. Slowly, almost noticeably, Chanhee’s lips pulled back and his eyes filled with tears. His whole face contorted as he began to cry, but he still didn’t move from his spot. This time it was Sanghyuk’s turn to go to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He descended the stairs slowly, feeling the way everyone’s eyes followed him as he made his way to the main floor. Chanhee didn’t stop crying the whole time, closing his eyes as he just began sobbing in front of everyone. Sanghyuk didn’t stop moving forward until he was right in front of him, and even then. Without even thinking, Sanghyuk wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him into his embrace as his own eyes filled with tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk hushed him immediately, pulling Chanhee to his chest as Chanhee bawled, pressing his eyes into Sanghyuk’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his body. “Chanhee, It’s okay.” Chanhee didn’t respond, instead crying until his voice ran raw as he clung to Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk swayed on his feet, holding Chanhee close to him and stroking his back gently. “It’s okay,” he told him again, leaning his head against Chanhee’s. “I’m here now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chanhee was heaving in his arms, soaking his shirt completely as he wailed, but Sanghyuk couldn’t stop smiling, holding Chanhee in his arms again. “It’s okay little brother,” Sanghyuk soothed, moving his hand up to pet his hair. “I’m not leaving again. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sanghyuk looked out beyond Chanhee’s shoulders, taking in the eyes and cameras of all the students watching. They watched with interest, not fear or disgust. They knew who he was, and they knew what he had done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been years since everything had happened, but nothing he did would ever go away. It would follow him around for the rest of his life and he would always have to carry it with him. Maybe he would never be able to live without being recognized now, but as long as he had his family with him, that would be okay. Sanghyuk could live with that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because no matter what happened, or what people said, Sanghyuk was happy with his life now. It had taken a long time to get past everything, but in the end, Sanghyuk realized he never had to get past the parts of his life he considered the worst at the time. Being Dawon was never something he had to overcome. It was part of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So no matter what, Sanghyuk would be alright. After all, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dawon, and for the rest of his life, he would be okay with that.</span>
  <b></b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have... a lot to say. First of all, thank you to everyone who stuck with this fic and read it, I super appreciate it and I hope you liked it! It was really long and complex and not a typical romance fic, but nonetheless I hope you enjoyed reading it! </p><p>Unlike any of my other fics, I updated this one twice a week because I wanted it to end at the beginning of July. This is because mid August, I'll be going to college, and I wanted to wrap this fic up before then because I had something I really wanted to say to those people who have read and commented on my fics. </p><p>I am going to college for a double major, but one of those majors is Creative Writing. When I was a kid I always loved writing and I wanted it to be what I did with my life, but as I got older I kind of realized that writing stories is not just something you can make a solid career out of, so I stopped focusing on that and tried to find something else I liked. But I've still always liked writing, so when I made an sns au on twitter to follow a trend and people told me to keep writing, it meant a lot to me. Now here I am... I think three years later, and I have three full length fics and more twitter aus than I can remember. And you have all supported me so much on every single one of them. I save screenshots of the best comments I get and I save every bit of fanart I receive. </p><p>Every single new thing I write, I write because I get comments telling me you guys can't wait for my next fic, or you hope I continue to write. Writing makes me happier than literally anything else in the world, and you guys are the only reason I'm this confident in it. So I just uhhhh really wanted to say thank you, because if it wasn't for you guys always commenting and encouraging me, leaving cc's and tweeting about my writing, I wouldn't have the confidence to go to college to pursue what really makes me happy and what I've always wanted to do. Like that's because of you guys. </p><p>I can't thank you all enough &lt;3 It means a LOT to me.</p><p>With that said, I AM going to college and I don't know how much free time I'll have, so I don't know when my next fic will be out or if I'll make any more sns au's, but I hope to continue writing for this fandom anyways! Thank you again for always supporting my writing, I love you all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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